#god i don't even wanna think about all the grammatical mistakes in here

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘆

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, this was based on a true story, not the flo part but the baby fever part lol, establish relationship, baby talk, flo self doubting, r babbling but like in a cute type of way (?), also billie's mention :)

warning(s): idk is wanting to have kids a warning (lol), baby talk (?), grammatical error, unedited

word count: 1.3k

note: You wanna know what's crazy? I'm not sure if I want to be a mother, but like the baby fever sometimes kicks in, specially since I have two little brothers and I'm like a second mother to them (they actually have told me so). But I don't know... Anyway, I'm not native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you all enjoy! Lots of love, M <3

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

You remembered when all those new feelings had started: you were sitting across from her, getting lost in her forest green eyes, you didn't feel someone nudging your leg until that said someone screamed out at you. 

"Jesus, you scared me," you smiled at the little toddler as you heard Florence's chuckle. 

The little girl, who seemed to be only two years old, babbled some incomprehensible words at you. She only got cutter as you watched her face shift into a stern look. It appeared as she was trying to tell you something quite important. 

"Oh, yeah, it's fine. Don't worry about it," you played along, accepting what you thought was an apology. 

"Are you lost, little missy?" Florence said, getting her attention. 

The toddler just looked at her and broke into laughter, which caused Florence to smile at her. 

"What's so funny about me, huh? she playfully asked her, and the two year old just laughed even harder. 

"I think it's your voice," you chucked. 

"My voice is not funny," she pretended to be hurt, her hand clutching her chest.

"Well, it is to her," you couldn't hold your own laughter anymore as the tiny human kept on laughing.

“Oh, my God. She’s laughing at my voice.”

“Oh, thank goddess. You scared me to death, Charlie,” a young blonde woman said, getting closer to your table, and bringing the little girl to her chest once she was close enough. “I’m so sorry, she’s just learned how to walk and she likes it,” the woman joked. 

“It’s okay, no problem, we were just chatting,” Florence reassured her with a smile.

As if wanting to be part of the conversation Charlie bubbled out some words.

“She’s so cute,” you scrunched your nose at her, making her laugh. 

“Okay, say goodbye, Charlie,” Charlie’s mum moved her little hand around, waving at the two of you, as Charlie mumbled what you thought was a goodbye. 

“Bye, Charlie,” the both of you said, smiling at the two year old. 

[...]

Ever since that night you hadn’t stopped thinking about Charlie. Well, not Charlie actually, that would be creepy, but the idea of kids. Florence looked so happy the few seconds she shared with Charlie, you felt like your heart could jump out of your chest just by thinking of that night.

You had never thought about kids before that, sure, sometimes, but it was more like a second thought, like something far away from your reach, unlikely to ever happen. And after that night it became your only thought. 

You found yourself watching TikToks about babies doing baby stuff, or maybe when taking a walk your eyes would linger on those couples pushing a trolley. Sometimes you would even look online for baby clothes and every time you couldn't help but to think it was the cutest thing ever. It also didn’t help the fact that your hormones would kick in and they would intensify all these feelings up to a hundred.

Florence, of course, didn’t notice how much you wanted a baby until you started to show her every baby picture you could find, every video you had watched, every kid you pointed out when the two of you went out on dates. So she started counting all the times you brought up that subject, by the third week she had lost count. 

Now, there you were, lying on the couch, with your phone on your hand, scrolling down TikTok, watching videos of babies. She found it cute, fun even, because you wouldn't dare to actually spill the words out, too scared of what she would say. 

“Y/n, baby, is everything okay?” she broke the silence, taking a seat next to you.

“Yeah, I’m just on those days,” you mumbled.

Which was true, but it wasn’t the whole truth. You had craved a baby before, during and long after your period. It didn’t matter, it was a thought that would cross your mind all the time, nonstop. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to get you something?”

You nodded, “It’s just the hormones. You know how it is, the moodswing,” you chuckled.

“Are you watching those baby videos again?” she raised a brow at you, there was a tint of smug in her tone.

“Yeah…” you frowned. “Why?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you are always watching those,” she teased, wanting for you to finally come clean.

“I am?” you asked, pretending to be unaware of that fact. 

“Yes, missy,” she smiled at you. 

‘Missy’, it only reminded you of Charlie and it made the whole thing even worse. 

You huffed, “I guess I didn’t notice.”

“Y/n, is there something you want to talk about?”

“What’s there to talk about?” she could tell you were frustrated.

“Well, I’m not sure but—.”

“What's there to talk about, huh?” there was not a trace of anger in your words, it felt more like sadness.  “That I would like a mini you running around the house, chasing after Billie?” the dog raised her head, thinking you had called out to her. “Because yes I would love that.”

“Y/n, I—,” her smug attitude dropped to the floor as she realised that there was no turning back now. 

“I can’t stop thinking about Charlie, how soft and careful you were with her. You were on cloud nine, Flo, I could tell,” you sniffed, battling the tears. “And I want that… I want that for you and me, for us.”

“I understand, honey. I can see how much you want that,” she caressed your cheek. “But I’m not—.”

“No, please don’t say ‘but’. I can take a ‘maybe’, just not a ‘but’,” you eyes were filled with tears and Florence felt like her heart was going to break any second now. She hated to be the reason why you were crying.

“No, no, no, it’s not that I don’t want that. I do, I just don't want to be that kind of parent who’s always working, I don’t want to miss their first steps, their first words, I want to be there for them every step of the way,” she breathed out, as if she had been holding back for weeks. 

Which she actually had. Ever since she added two plus two and realised you actually wanted a baby, all these self doubt and anxiety and worry got a hold on her.

“Flo, please, I know we can make it work. I won’t let that happen, I promise. You are not getting out of this whole motherhood thing,” you joked, making her chuckled. “Besides, you had Charlie giggling and all happy, I think you got this.”

“Charlie was with us for like three minutes at most,” Florence, playfully, rolled her eyes at you.

“Okay, you are right. But I know in my heart that you are going to be a great momma,” you grabbed her hands, taking them to your lips to kiss them. 

“Y/n…”

“I get it, Flor. It’s scary, we are talking about an actual human being—.”

“Y/n…”

“But if anyone can do this, then it’s us—.”

“Y/n…”

“We could watch some films, or maybe read some books. I bet my mum still has that book about being a first time mother—”.

“Y/n…”

“We can even take some classes, they teach you everything nowadays and—”.

“Y/n!” this time Florence shook your shoulders trying to get your attention. 

“Will you at least think about it? I know it’s a big decision and—”.

“Will you please let me talk?” she said with a tint of amusement.

“Right, sorry,” you smiled. 

“You had me at ‘You are not getting out of this whole motherhood thing’,” she smiled back.

“Does that mean…?” you left the question in the air, waiting for her to say it.

“Yeah, let’s make a baby. Shall we?” she asked, a grin formed on her face before she pecked your lips.

“Oh, my god!” you couldn't hold back your smile anymore. “Yes! Yes, we shall,” you threw yourself at her, leaving kisses all over her face. 

“Okay, then let’s get down to business,” she said in between chuckles. 

“Oh, you mean right now?”

“I thought you… I mean… if you don’t want to then—,” she was about to get up from the couch. 

“No!,” you yelled, making her laugh. “Come back here, you twat.”

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pugh x fem reader #florence pugh imagine #florence pugh fluff #littlexscarletxwitch's fic

[btsforlif]

Honeymoon

Paring: Namjoon x chubby/Plus size reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: fluff, SMUT

Warnings‼️: sexual tension, breast play, fingering, unprotected sex (don't do this guys) ending sucks (if this is a warning but I think you might need this warning 💁‍♀️)

Synopsis: You had an arranged marriage with your now husband Kim Namjoon and you are on the way to your husband's farmhouse for honeymoon. Do your feelings will change for him or not?

Notes: hello there! I am back with this new fic hope you all like it. I enjoyed writing this but it didn't turned out the way I wanted it to be so if ending sucks please don't blame me✌️💜 and PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ANY GRAMMATICAL OR SPELLING MISTAKES.

You are on your way to your husband's farmhouse. Why? For your HONEYMOON yeah honeymoon. Your husband is a stranger to you and you are on the way to his farmhouse, you scoffed in your head. You had an arranged Marriage day before today for your parents sake, because of financial problems your parents company was facing. The company was on the edge of closing but they told you if you will marry one of the richest person's son they will be ok and you did, you married him.

Kim Namjoon the next CEO of the Kim company was your husband, he is handsome and all smart but he isn't your type but you have to bare with him for almost 2 years, you scoffed again thinking about it. You are a doctor and had a normal life but now it's all ruined and you don't even know if you will able to go back to your normal doctor life.

"We are almost there" his driver said but instead of replying to him Namjoon ignored it. You scoffed in your head for the thrid time today "how rude" you thought while seeing his side profile.

"Do you want to share room or want one of your own" he asked simply once you both were in the framhouse  and the driver was standing with your luggage beside you for your answer "room of my own" you replied simply too. He only nodded at the driver and the driver was on his way to your room

You were in your room getting ready for your fake date because if you both won't be there, the person who was in-charge of informing your parents will inform them something that you both don't want to, so the only way is to go there and act like a couple and this again is for your parents sake.

"Sir we have reached our destination" Namjoon only nodded and driver goes out of his seat and open his door for him to come out, you were in shock "what the actual fuck" you thought. After closing the door he came to your side and did the same, you hesitated for a minute before getting out and thanking him. You were new to this pampering you always had an normal life where you weren't dependent on others to open gate for you.

You both were sitting on the chairs while food was waiting in between both of you, your mouth was watering seeing it "I am going first if you wanna eat you can eat" all you said before digging up your food. All he said yes the whole time but you didn't wanted the dinner to be awkward so you started the conservation "as we both are living our next two years with eachother we should know about eachother a little bit don't you think?" You asked hoping he would reply "yes we should" he said simply again "so tell me something about you" Namjoon was thinking what to say "I like nature and small things and yeah I like crabs but I don't like to eat sea food and I love to read new books, now it's your turn" you thought too what to say before replying "I love music, I love to cook, I hate spiders and I like to eat new dishes" "oh" Namjoon replied instantly.

You thought talking about food will be embarassing because you are a big girl but it gone right you thanked God for it "we should go back to farmhouse, it's already late and we have done our job here" Namjoon was so straightforward about all the things and it annoyed you a little bit but you can't do anything so you let it slide.

You both came back home after your Little fake date and said goodnight before going to eachother rooms. You were now laying on the bed after washing up and trying to fake sleep so you can sleep in real but your mind wasn't letting you "he is not that bad but I still don't like him that much" "how are we going to live with eachother for next two years" you thought, your overthinking was Killing you so you just screamed in the pillow after letting out some frustration on the pillow you felt better and you felt sleepy so at last you ended up sleeping thanks to the pillow.

There was one thing, Namjoon wasn't able to sleep because of YOU "I hope this marriage goes well because I want it to" he said it to himself, after overthinking about your and his marriage he slept too.

Next morning you were in kitchen making your cereals and milk but you were forgetting something that you don't live alone and you were in your super short shorts and and mid thigh t-shirt,you were taking out cereals from top shelf you weren't short you were a little bit taller then a average women but you were happy about it because you don't have to depend on others for anything.

While taking out cereals you hear someone coughing behind so you instantly turned around and see Namjoon looking anywhere but you with red cheeks and red ears "what happened everything alright?" You asked "yeah j-just look down" and you looked down and saw your bare legs are on full display and you realised that while you were taking cereals out it must have ridden up. "Sorry I will just go and change" you said shyly trying to stretch the fabric down more to cover your bare legs "don't be sorry it's ok, you can go and change I will not look at your direction but when you are in your room please do tell me that you are in" "o-ok" all you said before running all the way to your room "I am in" you screamed "ok" Namjoon screamed back.

After changing and washing up you came out of your room and see Namjoon is all washed up too, sitting doing some thing on his phone "I am back" you thought he would ignore you and do his work on his phone but he turned and looked at you and checked you out before blushing and turning back to his phone "your mom called she said that she was trying to reach you but your phone is switched off so she called me to ask how we were doing" "oh so what did she say" you asked "nothing just how our honeymoon is going and were are we going today so I asked were should we go so that you can enjoy the time while being here she told me that you like shopping new dresses and things so I thanked her for her reply and said bye's to eachother" "oh" you said once again but you were blushing now "so are you ready? We are going for shopping" "no it's ok Namjoon you don't have to do that we can do something else that you like too" "no it's my choice y/n I like shopping too let's go if you are ready" "ok just let me take my purse and phone" "ok" Namjoon replied.

You were now standing in front of an branded clothing shop "you really don't have to do this" you were not selfish so you asked once again if he wanted to change his decision "y/n it's ok really now come on we should go in" "ok Namjoon" you said. You saw many dresses lined up one by one, you really hoped that you can get your size.

"I will try this one" you said a perfect black colour long dress with deep v-cut which had a zipper on back and long sleeves and with your perfect size, Namjoon only nodded and waited for you to go in and come out with you wearing that dress, after 5 to 6 minutes you came out while wearing that dress and asked Namjoon "how do I look" Namjoon was watching you with widened eyes as if he saw an angel or devil "how do I look" you asked again hoping for an answer "pretty, beautiful" he replied back instantly you blushed and thanked him.

You peeked out your head for Namjoon's help "Namjoon please help me!" You were trying to be quite while being loud enough to Namjoon to hear it "with what" he asked "my zipper is not coming down please help me!" He hesitated for a minute before coming in the changing room, you were standing in front of the mirror and your back was facing him "please open the zipper for me I am not able to do it" you said while watching him from mirror he nodded and kept his fingers on the zipper to slide it off but on the mid way his hands mistakenly brushed against your bare back and it sent shivers down your spine "it's all done" you were so emerged in the feeling that you didn't even felt it coming to end "thank you" you were now directly looking into his eyes through mirror, the staring in eachother's eyes was so intense that you forget that the zipper was down and your dress can slide down your body any minute but when the dress was going to slide down Namjoon suddenly catched it and your right shoulder was only the thing that was showing off "I-i am so sorry" "no it's ok" he replied, you kept your hands in front of your dress wo that Namjoon can let it go but he didn't, you looked at him in mirror finding him already staring at you and once again you both were staring in eachother's eyes, Namjoon broke the staring contest and his eyes dropped to your shoulder gazing it for few seconds befor he let the dress go "I-i am sorry I should go" "ok" you can sae Panic in his eyes and he left hurriedly. You didn't know what to do so you let it slide not making the situation more awkward.

You were home now changed in your pajama but you were feeling hungry and you now realised that you and Namjoon both didn't have dinner yet and it was already pretty late so you thought you should cook something for you and him.

You were making ramen and it was already ready so you were on your way to Namjoon's room to call him for dinner. Once you reached his room you opened his door forgetting to knock and the seen you were seeing was so sinful to you, Namjoon looked at you from where he was standing because of the noise the door made "y/n do you want something" he asked now fully turning around "n-no I-i just wanted to call you down for dinner" "oh" he was half bare standing in front with only wearing sweat pants his chest and torso was on full display you gulped seeing his abs but you looked up immediately trying not to look down "hey you know you can come in and sit but if you want to because I have to sign some emails cause it's urgent then we can both go down and eat" "ok" you didn't wanted to say no so you go and sit on the bed while trying not to look at him but you failed, he was also sitting on the opposite side of the bed half bare to your eyes, you thought he wouldn't catch you staring at him but he did and raised his eyebrows as if asking something you nodded a no while trying not to blush "wtf y/n get yourself togather he just catched you checking him out" you screamed at yourself in your head "I am all done we can go" he said while standing up "o-ok" you get up suddenly and started to walk where the door was "wait" he suddenly said which made you stop instantly next to the wall where the door was.

He was walking towards you like you were his prey, you can't go back because there is already an wall so before you can open the door Namjoon took your hands in his and kept it down while caging you between him and the wall, you can feel his abs thorough your shirt "do you really think that you can get away after about staring at me for straight 10 minutes" you were now blushing so hard that it was getting hard to breathe "N-namjoon" you whispered "y/n I am saying truthfully that I like you alot, these days that I spent with you were my best days of my life and I really want to live a happy married life with you" "Namjoon I-i don't know what to say" you say while shivering a little bit "then take your time" he whispered in your ear and you closed your eyes because of the feeling, he looked at you seeing your eyes closed and chubby cheeks blushing he chuckled before letting you go "come on the food is going to cool off" he opened the door and goes out while you were still in shock because of what happened earlier "wtf!" You said while opening the door and going to kitchen seeing him already eating the food, you weren't able to match his eyes so you just took your food and ate it while putting the pieces in your mind of what happened earlier.

It was last thrid day of your honeymoon before it ends so you both decided that you both are going to rest for the next three days. It was already night nearly 1 Am and you suddenly felt hungry for desert despite having dinner few hours ago so you go out in kitchen to have some ice cream when you saw that the lights of Kitchen were on, you peeked in and saw Namjoon on his phone while eating the ice cream you were going to eat, so you wanted to slide in kitchen without him knowing you were in so you walked in your tippy toes till you were standing in front of the fridge and opened it quietly while getting the other tub of ice cream out when you heard someone whispering your name in your ear, you jumped and wanted to scream but somebody closed your mouth with his hand "y/n I am Namjoon don't be scared" he said while laughing "don't that ever again I might die from an heart attack" you say while keeping your hand on your heart to calm it down "sorry sorry" "it's ok" "btw what are you doing here" Namjoon asked "wanted to eat ice cream so I can in here to take it" "but why were you tip toeing I here" he asked while raising one of his eyebrows and you find it so hot that you forget to answer.

Namjoon came closer and closer while you did was only standing and staring back at him "what are you doing Namjoon" "nothing" he said coming more closer till you were again caged between him and the fridge "I am waiting for your answer y/n" "I-i" "why do I have to always shutter when he is this close" you mentally screamed at yourself, he was so close so close that you can feel his breath on your lips both of your lips were only inches away from eachother, you thought he was going to kiss you so you closed your eyes and waited few seconds before moving your head a little bit forward for him to attack your lips but he moved his head back, he wanted to kiss you too but he knew you weren't ready so instead you felt his lips on your neck you opened your eyes instantly and whimpered a little bit because of the feeling of his delicate lips on your neck. He was leaving open mouth kisses to your neck and shoulder before releasing you "when you are ready for me and Accept me as your husband that day I will kiss you but for now I know you are not ready y/n" his whispering was doing something to you but you were not able to form any words your mind was not cooperating with you so the only thing you did was nod "ok then y/n goodnight sweet dreams" he said before taking his half melted ice cream with him in his room.

The next day is your last second day and you weren't able to sleep whole night deciding on what should you do so you came on the conclusion that you have started to like him no but love him and feelings are mutual so you are ready for everything he was going to give to you.

Next evening you were in the living watching something that you weren't paying attention to. Yesterday's senerio was still going on your mind, you saw Namjoon coming out of his room and seeing you, you both stare at each other before Namjoon broke it and goes in the kitchen.

"Namjoon" you called out for him and he came to you and you patted the seat next you "so what's happening" "I just wanted to say that I-i am ready and that I accept you as my husband and I am actually starting to have feelings for you" after you blurted this out Namjoon smiled ear to ear " I am so happy y/n" you smiled back at him but the tension was back in seconds before Namjoon was coming closer and closer "are you really going to kiss me now right?" You said looking at lips and remembering how it felt on your neck "yeah" he said before attacking your lips and taking you on his lap, the kiss was passionate, slow and filled with love but after few seconds it turned into hot makeout session, you broke kiss for air and felt Namjoon kissing your neck and sucking harshly on it you moaned quietly because of the harsh pleasuring suck on your neck "N-namjoon"you called out again "yess baby do you need me to stop" worry on his face "no it's just that I-i am a v-virgin" "ohh baby" he cooed "let's take it slow yeah I will be gentle with you don't worry" he smiled at you lovingly "ok" you smiled back at him " let's take this to my room" you only nodded.

Once the door was locked he gently took you to the bed and layed you down. He hovered above you and kissed you again slowly and sexually, you both broke kiss for oxygen but he was fast and attacked your neck all over again leaving kitty licks and kissing every hickey he made softly.

"Can I remove your clothes please" he asked and you hesitated for minute before nodding he removed everything you were wearing and gazed at you with loving eyes, you felt shy and nervous as if he can see through you he told you not to worry and kissed you once again, he felt like he as in heaven seeing you all naked and blushed up for him "Namjoon please take your clothes off too" "ohh yeah yeah" he chuckled and started to remove his clothes once he was done you admired every inch of his "like what you are seeing" he teased and you blushed, the laughter died down when he once again hovered above you "let me prepare you first baby" he said while messaging your both breasts "yes please" you moaned feeling his hands on your boobs, he bent down his head and started to suck your already sensetive nipples "oh my god" you moaned feeling his mouth sucking on one of your nipples and twisting the other with fingers he gave the same treatment to other one before going down and kissing every stretch marks you have, the way his lips were kissing it gently it was melting you like butter.

"What a beautiful scene to see" you blushed hearing his voice and whined a little feeling too needy for his teasing "Namjoon please do something" you whined again "patience baby it's you first time I don't want it to be quick" he said, he attached his thumb to your clit and started to circle it while applying pressure and you moaned bucking your hips in his hand but his other hand stopped you for doing it "baby you are so wet" he said while inserting his middle finger in your pussy "Namjoon" you moaned his name "yes baby moan my name" he said adding his another finger and bottoming it out, you whimpered "baby you are so wet oh my god" he said taking out his fingers and licking it clean you moaned seeing him licking your arousal from his fingers, he once again entered it in but this time it wasn't slow, he started to thrust his fingers in and out of you, seeing you moaning his name again and again was making him painfully hard but today was all about you.

He started scissoring his fingers preparing for what is coming next "shit baby I am so hard because of you" you moaned hearing his dirty words, your eyes rolling back feeling the knot forming in your stomach "I-i am gonna cum please don't stop" "yeah gonna cum hmm" Your toes curling and your back arching, you practically screamed seeing white in your eyes.

Namjoon rode you out of your orgasam "it's too much" you said squirming. He took his fingers  out of you before licking it clean, you were tired but you wanted more "Namjoon please I want more" "yeah baby I am gonna give you what you want" he took his boxers off and your eyes widened because of seeing his cock size "baby don't be sacred I am going to go slow" you only nodded "ready?" He asked looking in your eyes for any objection but he didn't find anything but lust for him . You nodded again "ok then" he lined up his cock on your entrance "this going to hurt a little bit and if you want me to stop anytime then please do tell me" you nodded again, Namjoon slowly started to enter you making sure to go slow you cried out because of the pain it was giving it to you.

Namjoon bottomed out, you were feeling immense pain "shh baby it's gonna be alright" he said kissing you on the lips trying to distract you,  Namjoon didn't moved an inch giving you time to adjust before the pain you were feeling substituted and you told him to move "y/n I am going to start moving ok" he said before thrusting into you slowly, it was a new feeling, pain with pleasure and it was addictive "you are so thight" he groaned, you were a moaning mess feeling immense pleasure going throughout your whole body.

He was slow but his thrust were deep hitting every spot, he made sure that his lips were always in work from kissing your lips to sucking your nipples to leaving an hickey on your body, he changed the angle putting your one leg on his shoulder while thrusting into you with a little bit more speed than before, at one point he hitted an spot which made you scream "Namjoon fuck!" "Found it" he said increasing his speed and hitting that spot again and again which made you scream everytime he hitted that spot.

You eyes were paining because of how much you were rolling it back, you were near you can feel it again "b-baby I am near" after hearing you he took his fingers and started to draw circles to your clit "yeah gonna cum again hmm?" You nodded feeling tears falling out from your eyes, you clenched arround feeling very near to your orgasam "fuck do that again" he groaned feeling you clench around him again "shit I am gonna cum oh my god!" "Then cum baby" he said increasing his pace on your clit while thrusting deeply, you screamed while cuming on his cock seeing white before your eyes again "yes baby yes" his thrust were getting  slow which you thought was him getting closer to his near, he was so near feeling him cuming when he took out his cock and cum onto your stomach.

You both were now laying, your head was on his chest while he was caressing your hair with his fingers "I am sleepy baby" you said feeling tired from all the sexual things you both did "me too baby then let's sleep"Namjoon replied feeling sleepy himself, that night was the first day when you both slept together.

The next day both of you were on the his private jet going back to Seoul but this time it wasn't awkward like before. This time you both were happy with having eachother by your side and now you both were really husband and wife.

#bts oneshot #plus size reader #chubby reader #mafia bts #x chubby reader #bts imagine #chubby reader. #bts x plus size #bts fanfic #alpha bts #bts #bts imagines #bts namjoon #bts rm x you #bts x curvy reader #curvy reader #dark bts #Spotify

[sashank-kanchustambam]

Instinct

Disclaimer : Please don't be an asshole and complain about my grammatical errors... I'm a normal person who is filling in his diary... not my mistake that you got hold of it

2. April.2018

Everyday I see this guy in the school recess; his name is Sameer. Anyways...the point is I don't like him. You ask me why.......I really don't have an answer..... I've never even talked to him, but I just instinctually dislike him.

12.April.2018

It was just like any other recess, and my eyes caught Sameer again; I noticed it for the first time..he actually is very physically attractive... I'd totally do him..... but yeah, I dislike him.....So I don't think I'll be doing anything of that sort....

I know all this might seem 'weird', but take two steps back and watch; there's always that person (or maybe more) who you just don't like..At this point of time that's exactly what Sameer is to me.

Weird how I say I don't like him.... but I keep writing about him. Well if you're fed up of Sameer already... I'm sorry

I'm in a boys school...and you narrow minded people might be stereotyping that we discuss girls all the time.... Though it's not completely true ... it can be sometimes... but I hardly have an opinion when it comes to 'who is hotter?'

16.April.2018

I was eating my food on a bench when I noticed a ball rolling towards me and a voice followed the ball....“Yo, Tanvir, .... throw the ball here.” you're not Sherlock... It's pretty obvious that's Sameer. I picked the ball up and threw it to him and he shouted “ Thanks Yo. ” I thought he was supposed to be a rude guy, but a rude guy wouldn't say 'Thanks' to a guy he hardly knows...and he knew my name too... maybe he's not all bad.

I typed his name on Instagram.. his bio read

“17

🌈 🌈 🌈

like playing Cricket and I kinda love writing random shit

🏏🖊️🖊️🖊️”

I followed him...and was unexpectedly satisfied when he followed me back.The ‛kinda hatred’ was kinda slowly fading away.

18.April. 2018

The bell for the recess rang and I stopped Aniruddh form running away....“Can I play cricket with you guys today?”.... Anirudh replied “I literally call you to play everyday, come ”.....I used to play cricket for the school up until class 10... Sameer joined school in 11th so never got a chance to play with him.....I didn't mind playing some recess cricket... Though the actual reason was Sameer.

It was the third over and I was batting against sameer's bowling....He's like 6'2 and bowls very fast.... but that didn't stop me form hitting him for 5 consecutive 4s.....I didn't expect the 6th ball to be a bouncer......I mean the ball doesn't need to bounce that high for my short ass but it still was a bouncer and it hit me hard on my lips ..... I threw the bat and fell to the ground...... Sameer started to say “sorry!!!!!” and ran towards me....he took his handkerchief out and pressed my bleeding lips with it....while his other hand rested my head.....my heart started beating at an extremely high rate.... it maybe even hit 120..... I'm totally crushing on him.... All it took is one thank you to make me not dislike him.... Maybe instincts are not always right.... maybe you should try talking to that one person who you hate for no reason.

24th April 2018

It's been 6 days since the handkerchief incident ........ I and Sameer have become closer......I mean we were never close before, so let's just stick to close instead of closer. Except for the height we're pretty similar....we love cricket, we love writing (tho I write only this diary), We're huge 'The office' fans and we vibe well.... the initial negative vibes are converted into complete positive vibes....we started to text a lot too.

While I was walking back to my class with Anirudh, Sameer stopped me and said “Yo Guys can you both come over to my place this saturday for a sleep over ?” Anirudh replied “I'm up” and looked at me....I said that I'll have to ask at home.... I knew my mom was going to allow but she can be unpredictable sometimes like all other moms.

Mom said “yeah you can go, but you'll have to come for the wedding on sunday”.......God!! I hate those weddings..... All that happens there is that a bunch of awkward-unforgettable memories are formed in my brain..... But as they say “To get something...you have to lose something”... well I'm not exactly losing anything, but you get the point right..

“ Tanvir! Does mom know that you're gay yet?” my sister asked... She wasn't mocking..it was a genuine question... “Not yet.... I'll tell it when I feel it's right though”

“You know she might freak out right?”

“Naah I don't think so”

28th April 2018

Though I and sameer were okay..... Aniruddh was high and drunk at the same time....he was doing all sorts of random shit....he almost put his fingers on a moving fan....He randomly just said “Guys clapping your hands is just so weird...I mean why do we bang our palms with each other when something good happens, I can't understand”. When I actually thought about it, it made partial sense.

You know those moments in which all the friends all of a sudden wip their phones out and get lost in their screens..... while we were having such a moment, Sameer noticed that Anirudh is asleep and said “Tanvir.... wanna chill in the balcony?”

He spotted out constellations to me.... This was the first time I noticed the constellations outside the books and the screen. So he thinks that Virat Kohli is a better player than Sachin and Lara, which I'll never agree to but I'll let it go. While he was laughing, I couldn't stop myself from staring at his lips.......he probably noticed that and became quiet....we looked into eachothers eyes for a few seconds and I slowly moved closer ........ I don't know how, but my lips were now hardly 3 centimeters away from his lips .....while I covered the 25 centimeters, he covered the last 3 centimeters.......and just like that I had my first kiss at the age of 17 and I know it sounds cliche like any other part in this diary... But it was beautiful.

2nd may 2018

Sameer hasn't come to school since then, but we talk a lot on text and on the phone too......I needed to say it, there was no point keeping it in.. so I said it..... more like typed it... But there's hardly any difference between those two these days.

‛Uhmmm..... this might sound weird.....You probably already know it.....I like you.....as in I feel stuff for you...... don't think it's because of the kiss... I've liked you before that also....I sometimes just think about you and start blushing.... If you feel the same ....do you want to take it a notch higher?’

I unsent and sent this message atleast 7 times... While I was going to do it for the 8th time he saw the message....... I immediately closed the chat and threw my phone away to the other sofa.....I just looked to the other side and started to bite my nails ....... all sort of thoughts were crossing my mind.....

‛Wow...that escalated quick..... I've always found you really cute Tanvir....and I could feel the vibe since the time you started playing with us..... I've never dated a guy before this.... but I think you're special enough for that...yes we should take it a ‛notch’ higher 😂💓💓’

My face was burning red and just like that I made my first boy friend ........also at the age of 17.

2nd June 2018

Today summer vaccation starts.... I mean summer holidays are enough to make me happy but I'm also happy cause I'll have more time to hangout with Sameer.... also it's our 1st month anniversary today... But sadly he won't be able to make it to the party at Anirudh's place because he's moving places and is busy with it...... I'll write the rest tomorrow after the party probably....Ill probably stay over at Anirudh's... That's what I told to mom

3rd June 2018

Yesterday night shit went down..... I'm not in a good mood right now...and won't be in it for few weeks probably.....

While I was partying, all I could think about was how my mom always trusts me and keeps saying that I'm an honest boy......I was feeling really guilty that I didn't tell her this.....I stopped dancing at once...and was just staring at the floor.....I started whispering repeatedly “I need to leave.....I need to leave..” and then the sound of my voice slowly increased....and I ran out of the place........ I literally jogged 4 kilometers to my house...and was panting heavily.....It was around 10:30 .....I thought to myself that mom wouldn't be asleep and I was ready to tell her about my sexuality...I confidently stood outside her room, took a deep breath, and opened the door......the second I opened the door... while I was on my way to shout ‛maa’....she was making out with someone....I felt really embarrassed and closed the door.... But not completely...... as a weird thought crossed my mind I opened the door again(....(btw all this happened in a 2 second period.....).....What I saw can not be unwatched.....MY MOTHER WAS MAKING OUT WITH SAMEER.....I closed the door with all the energy I had and probably broke a hinge....I walked to my room....I was feeling heartbroken and extremely pissed at the same time.....I locked myself in.... Sameer was banging on my door and said “I didn't know she was your mom tanvir... I'm sorry”... well even though he didn't.... what he did was cheating....and I did not feel very well.....I probably should have went with my INSTINCT and continued to DISLIKE him.

Also today is the day.......The day I throw this diary away ..... feel lucky if you find it

Instinct......Tanvir Manchanda