every little lie, gives me butterflies
My grandma died when I was thirteen and I feel like this has been really unfair towards me, because sometimes when I look at old photos I see my siblings playing with her, she still has hair and she doesn’t look exhausted. They knew her when she was full of life, happy and energetic, something I have never seen her be.
Sometimes there are pictures of my mom and my siblings going on a trip to a place I’ve never been to. Playing games she’s never played with me, because when I was young she was already too tired for these things.
Sometimes I imagine what it’s like to move out to live on your own and don’t feel guilty about it because your parents are still healthy and able to take care of themselves.
Sometimes I think about what difference would it make if I was 24 like my sister instead of 12 as I was on the night my brother attempted suicide. Maybe I would be able to be a child a little longer. Everyone always says that the youngest siblings are the luckiest, but I don’t believe that. Maybe if I was born earlier I wouldn’t miss out on things and people my older siblings took for granted.
SO I JUST GOT THE DESOLATE OF DEVILS ACRE RIGHT AND IM READING A BOOK ABOUT THE RENAISSANCE AND I CAN’T JUST PUT DOWN THAT ONE BECAUSE I’M LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH BUT IM REALLY PISSED AT NOOR AND I WANT TO SEE HOW MISS P REACTS AND HOW THE KIDS ARE ADJUSTING AND SHIT BUT I CAN’T AND I’M SAD.
Honey, there’s some sweetness goin’ ‘round
Catch it down in New Orleans
NEVER BEFORE HAD JULIAN ever had to wonder when it came to Iris. He has always known what she would be thinking ; just as he has always known that no matter what, she was one of the only two people who would always be happy to see him. He knew neither of those things anymore. He wanted to go to see her before she found out from someone else that he was back. For some reason that just seemed like yet another betrayal on top of so many others. As he entered the Ministry, he was enveloped with that same familiar sense of discomfort - as if there was an itch under his skin he just couldn’t get rid of. There was that same familiar urge to run as far away from this place as he could but he had already tried that out and he knows now that it was only a temporary fix. He knows that he can’t outrun himself.
He forces himself to ask about her at the front desk, making his way to her office only for someone to tell him that she was up at the roof. Julian sees her leaning against the railing, her back turned to him and he pauses for a moment to gather his strength. He has always been the coward in the family but he has never felt it so keenly as in these moments. Julian has never known what to say but it is especially true now - he knows what he has done ought to be unforgivable. Iris turns around and Julian is spared having to catch her attention but he has to barely keep himself from flinching at the look on her face.
His lips curve in a slight smile, “Hey.”
i was just trying to open my fucking email but thanks ig
@liedux said: I think toko conveniently forgot junko adopted five kids,
icb junko enoshima is a milf. toko cant escape her mommy issues.
WhEN I THINK ABOUT MY CRUSH IN LOVEY DOVEY SITUATIONS I CAN JUST F E E L MY PUPILS DILATING FUCK THISSSSS
Does anyone else have like… imposter syndrome but with like medical problems?
Like i am having horrible abdominal pain in one point of my abdomen and horrible ovary cramps, so my doctor ordered a CT scan and I’m sitting here like “oh man that’s a big test what if I’m just faking it and there’s nothing wrong with me my doctor will be so mad :(“ and then after i think this I’ll go back to having bad abdomnal pains
Finding a job when ur nd w a learning disorder an a side of depression fucking sucks. Like, for a position that involves talking/socializing w customers all day sucks bc I’m not bubbly, particularly attractive or preppy enough for anyone, I speak too fast and stumble over my words or just sound like a fucking idiot and I always have a hard time learning the register and I’m honestly naturally slow so I get fired. Working as a dish washer was the one position I was actually good at but I’m so lazy and I don’t get regular exercise so after a 7hr shift of just standing and washing dishes my hips/legs/back hurt like hell n I just wanted to fall over and the next day I was so sore I could barely walk so I got fired bc I made it in less and less. I’m either not competent or not fit enough for a job and this fucking sucks, I need to start working. I’m not smart enough for college so I’m just gonna be working the rest of my life but I can’t find anything I’m fucking good at and when ur poor all there is, is retail/fast food. Everything fucking sucks this all sucks, if I’m lucky I’ll manage to find a job doing hard labor but that’s abt fucking it
I don’t wanna be like my cousin’s, just living with my grandma and mooching off her for the rest of their lives n I don’t wanna live w my mom forever bc I’ll be seen as the same lazy failure I’ve always been that can’t keep a fucking job. My brother only managed to move out bc he has real friends while I’m stuck in this shitty fucking town with no one. I’m fucking poor and I’m going to be poor for the rest of my life and fucking die poor, I’ll never have anything. Literally can’t think of even wanting to live when I think abt this shit, even if I somehow managed to get into college with my piss poor grades or even miraculously passed everything I don’t even know what I want to fucking do nor do I wanna get stuck in debt. My grandma offered to pay for college if I became a nurse but fuck I’m not smart enough to pass basic math or science, id b fucking killing ppl if I tried that. Even then I don’t want her help, she’s 66 and caught covid so now she can’t breathe right or work anymore so I doubt she’ll have the money to help w college either way
trying to have a normal conversation with people is like “aaaa i know i’m doing something wrong” “this doesn’t feel Right” “way too repetitive”
but you don’t know how to improve what you’re saying
Chronic migraines are just wanting to carve your eyes out with a spoon, but having to work in front of computer all day anyway.
I am heartbroken. Left to rot in this mortal coil. This thing, this horrible thing my cat did. I tried to pet her. She turned away from me.
I really REALLY don’t want to continue with psychology
I need to call Service Canada to deal with stuff that can’t be done through the online portal and ahahahahahaha the call wait time is over 2 hours.
AH HA HA HA HA.
What is hair-
Anyways take this
it’s so depressing to live in constant pain