#god im gonna unalive this fucking sucks i hate living like this

[garlique]

tw for suicide and self harm in tags !! pls just scroll !!

#my mood swings have been so terrible lately and i feel so bad abt it lmao #they usually aren't this like? extreme? #like normally i just kinda swing from side to side of the same line of bland sadness #n i get happy for a few minutes n i get deeply sad for a few minutes but it's always like so minimal that i can just play it off n hide it #but its just so extreme now and i feel so awful because its literally impossible to hide #like literally one minute ive been like 'wow this is the happiest ive ever felt' and then the next its like #if anyone moves or makes any noise or talks to me im going to start sobbing #and then like 30 min later its like i viscerally hate everyone ive interacted with today so much i want to scream #like miss girl WHAT is going on in there !!!! i hate this !!!! #literally nothing makes me happy like everything just makes me so angry #like literally everything. literally everything. literally everything. i can't think of a single thing that i couldn't be angry about #im SO FUCKING READY TO BE DONE WITH THIS SEMESTER HOLY SHIT #AAAAAAAAAAAAA I JUST GOT SO MAD #LITERALLY when i started typing this post i was like on the verge of tears and now im so blistering angry holy shit holy shit #i hate this !!!! ooh i want to die so BAD lmao #i always stop cutting when i get like. this unhappy/suicidal #twould b very sexy if i could like .... engage in the coping mechanism i specifically developed to deal with emotional overwhelm #god im gonna unalive this fucking sucks i hate living like this #the other really stressful part of this is that i don't #you know what never mind . cannot keep shoving my emotional shit into other people . this is all me babey !!!