#god im so sad over all this

[panncakes]

"If you look closely, you'll see that Latte is the only being Ongsa talks to."

23.5 (2024)

#23.5 #23.5 the series #23.5 degrees #23.5edit #milklove #gledit #mine* #milk pansa #oh the abject horrors of being a teenage girl #[gathers ongsa gently into my arms and gives her all the warmth and comfort she deserves] #im sorry for how unkind i was to my teenage self; im sorry for unkind you are to yourself #i know her being unpopular and weird is played over the top for laughs but there is such a genuine #sadness and loneliness woven through it #having a sister who is popular and a leader and capable to a fault and a cousin who has her sight far beyond high school #and her peers and is so comfortable behind her high walls and within herself (also to a fault) #while you yourself are so starved and hungry for connection with your peers and to be liked but just seem so incapable of making that work #so incapable of getting out of your own way #is just so... god #its so universal and so heartbreaking and also i wanted to make this set #because at the end of the show ongsa will have her friends and a girlfriend and confidence in herself and hopefully #love and kindness for herself ❤️ #in case you were wondering; why yes i will project all my own teenage issues onto this show because yes ongsa is a mirror thank you 🥰

[todayisafridaynight]

no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo

#snap chats #is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds #ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much #i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day #not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀 #excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT #this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE #got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up #AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu #and then immediately made up for it a minute later #sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up #i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided #thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ... #him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet #im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo #im gonna be sick i love him so much #if i redraw this later shut up. i love him... #this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt #its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do .... #and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!

[ganondoodle]

(forces myself to stop playing stardew so i can get some progress done on my art projects- daydreams the entire first arc of my original story stuff -again- for 2 hours)

#ganondoodles talks #personal #should i even try to do anything now #its almost bedtime #.... #idk why i keep doing this #i know how things go i dont need to think it over and over #im wasting so much time my gOD #also in the end i either get discoruaged or sad or stuck bc its not all done and when you think about every single imprtant story point #its like binge watching while skipping less important parts so it just feels weird rushed and worse than it actually is

[fear-no-mort]

season 7 is over!!

#i was about to be like gee it went by so fast!! but then i remembered Yeah objectively this is the fastest rnm season of all time #anyway im 300% biased because it’s my first season but i absolutely loved it #i would talk about my only complaint but this isn’t the place for that. this is the place for celebration before i go into hibernation for- #-the winter (rnm in-between-seasons hiatus) #i am Very sad that it’s over for now but even happier that rnm is even a thing at all like oh my god. i love I adore I obsess I breathe. rn #okay enjoy thos #rick and morty #morty Smith #rick sanchez #tw blood #for primes little shoulder pad. rip king #odieart

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[pepprs]

ok. im going to make this post but i REALLY shouldn’t but i just am so devastated rn and need to not be alone in it and you guys are the only people i can talk to candidly about moving stuff rn for a lot of reasons. the reason im crying rn is because i just found out i made a massive error in my budget and it turns out that my net pay is barely over minimum wage and i cannot afford to live by myself. at all. unless i live off of savings in addition to income but even then that’s only going to help me for a couple months and anyway it’s extremely unwise bc i should save that money for getting a car etc etc. this is not entirely a bad thing because a) at least i can afford to… you know… live. and b) living with roommates will not be bad especially if i live with friends and/or strangers i come to be friends with. it’s just i really… i don’t know i just feel so sick to my stomach. it’s just that recent events have made it so clear to me that i need to teach myself how to live independently before i can live with other people (let alone function in the world, heal from trauma, etc.) healthily. i know it so deeply. and it can’t happen for me. this is confirmation. this is confirmation and there’s nothing that can change it. rent is too high (even for shitty apartments in the area which let’s be real most of them are… it’s too high!) and over half of my income is going to taxes and deductions and bills and student loans. i feel so hopeless

#an di still have homework to do LMAOOOOOOOOOOO as if im not having a crisis over this issue which is more important than any hw assignment #will ever be. fuck my stupid baka life but i mean it so sincerely. #purrs #delete later #again. i know even being able to consider living alone is a MASSIVE privilege and there will be joys in having a roommate especially if it’s #someone i love. but it’s going to create sooooo many more steps in this process for me and i will have to compromise my needs yet again ( #even if i genuinely want to!) when what i need right now is to have as little compromise as possible. to FINALLY experience what it’s like #to live without having to share (most) things or silence myself. moving out at all is going to be huge and helpful no matter if im living #with roommates but. god god god. this feels like thinking a door is open but it’s just painted to look that way. im so sad #also btw i found out that i am not actually being overpaid im being UNDERpaid. which is a solvable problem that will be fixed this week but #even when that gets corrected i still am making a little over minimum wage so. 😃🔫

[matchandelure]

i fear that the undercover top secret government assassins are growing on me (cp9)

#I HAD ZERO THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM AT FIRST #IN FACT I WAS DEVASTATED THAT THE WATER 7 QUARTET WERE ACTUALLY CP9 #BUT THEN??????? I READ CP9'S INDEPENDENT REPORT AND. I!?!??!?@?!? #the thoughts are endless ive been having one piece dreams every night for the past few days and they have all been cp9 related the brainrot #is so bad. i am sodgjkadhg #i love one piece there are so many characters with each new arc i get to i get some new characters to obsess over i love it i feel so alive #ive been fighting tooth and nail avoiding spoilers for the latest episode BUT GOD IM SO SO TEMPTED TO. TAKE A PEEK #anyways last night i was once again doing a wiki deep dive and i found some silly things on cp9's pages #JABRA AND LUCCI ARE THE SAME HEIGHT!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY #CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!?! the kid you've had beef with since he was 13 (maybe even earlier since lucci alreayd knew him when he was 6) who you #used to have a whole head over is now at eye level with you i would actually be so embarrased #KAKU IS FROM EAST BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS OS IMPORTANT ACTUALLY!! THE MOST IMPORATNT FACT EVER!!!!!!!!!!! #so he knows the strawhats are...also from the east blue right?!? right??????! and ik the wg steals these kids early on to train them so i #doubt he has lingering attachments to his home sea but i still think this so both so so sad and so important :'(( #also not getting over how oda's depiction of tiny kaku has him holding a toy boat BC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?! ARE YOU K IDDING ME #kalifa and jabra's favourite dishes are both lamb based!!!!!!!!! silly because her animal motif is a sheep haha #BUT ALSO considering how her father was also cp9 and she's probably been conditioned since birth to also follow his footsteps and how jabra #holds seniority in the current lineup id like to think that these two have known each other a very long time and there were influences #the most dysfunctional fcked up family ever. cp9 #blueno and jabra are both from the north blue!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that one falshbakc we see that the two of them plus 6year old lucci trained #together but also it would be so fcked up if the two actually knew of each other before being roped into the governemnt #idk how the wg works do they just??? routinely scout around and pick up a bunch of kids ata time???? were jabra and blueno taken together?? #also wondering if ... kalifa jabra and kumadori knew each other the longest as fellow agents or soemthing #i feel like im entertaining a gazillion thoughts all at once its so hard ot balance but we know both kalifa nad kumadori have #parents in the governemnt/assassin profession that also influenced them right #idk maybe one thing they can bond over #cp9 to me is just a fucked up family of some sort. they are not found family they are like some weird forged family where they were all #forced together and somehow made it work and they all love lucci and care for his wellbeing enough to raise all that money to get him to a #doctor and they cared about each other enough to get off enies lobby together without leaving anyone behind and they went cafe hopping and #shopping and bowling together and they all care for each other in their own way

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

I feel like actually shit like the entirety of last week getting to me. I wish I could have a moment of actual relaxation and not just me forgetting I have shit to do.

(Tag warning-> depressing talk, dark topics)

Might delete this idk..

#vent post #tag rambles #I have over 60 different things to fill out that I need to do by tomorrow and I forgot to do them. I feel so stupid #I actually hate having adhd #people try to make it out to be just a quirky thing that its not that big of a deal or anything #but it's not #it impairs on relationships #I struggle to remember important things that I need to do and even WANT to do. I struggle so bad #I even have fights with people about me being a “liar” even though I'm not #I just have a shit ass memory I feel useless 90% of the time and shit #gods and I doubt it's just me having adhd. Im pretty sure its my possibility of having bpd and autism #i show all symptoms of bpd and I relate far too much with autism videos #like this is stuff active in my daily life #people don't see it often due to have carefully Ive crafted.. this is going to sound a bit fannibal of me but literally a person suit #i swear a person suit #it's not even funny #gods i just wish I could function without getting all up and arms about how much of a pos I feel #if I don't get attention from.. basically.. my fp I get all sad and melancholy. i spiral #I'm pretty sure I have at least three fps #if I even have bpd #but gods #just so stupid how I can barely fucking function without all of these crutches #I'm not in a certian program anymore for a thing and now I can't fuction and work how I use to since it was a slower environment #I'm failing #like I won't be able to make it I feel like #not suicide or anything #just in things I wanted to do #feels like my future is doomed cause life keeps throwing curve balls at me #someone with at least two mental disabilities #i definitely have more

[seashell-telephone]

just finished the burning god and the end of the poppy war trilogy and… i was so sure i knew what would happen but i did NOT and now im crying… again…

#the burning god #r f kuang #the poppy war trilogy #the poppy war spoilers #HOW was this the ending???!??? how… #i dont wanna spoil but i was soooo sure i knew who would survive and well.. #i was very wrong.. this is so sad and yet i get it bc somehow but just like..NO #idk… this series really got me and i dont even know why really but omg #help #okay real spoilers after this… warning… #i knew rin wouldnt make it okay #killed me but i knew it… however!?!? #ur telling me kitay died?!?? kitay and not nezha???!!! #kitay the only sane one in the gang #i felt in my soul he would be the only survivor somehow and his last moments… im gonna cry all over again #not okay

[cherry-treelane]

everytime i watch shameless I get hit with a jolt of sickness and remember how frank and monica stole fionas life from her and she'll never get it back because it never existed because she was a sister first her whole life (from the age of 4) and everything else second and its always just so casual in the show and normal and rarely touched upon but it's not normal at all and it's tragic

#another post made at 2am that i found in the drafts #but my god its messed up how frank and monica got to live their own lives and how the kids got to have aspirations kinda but fiona was just #always stuck with the feeling of being stuck #cause she was forced to devote a largeee chunk of her life to servitude #its so unbelievably telling of frank and monicas innate selfishness above anything else imo : #their willingness to fulfil their mutual desire to extend the feeling of things such as youth and excitement and fun #to the point that they stripped their own daughter of the ability to experience childhood #education #etc #my memory is hazy but frank definitely was in college and i think monica was too? either way they both got to finish HS / experience it #but not fiona!!! its the opposite of parents sacrificing so their children can have more #they had more than fiona did and didnt give a shit about the fact that they just took from her #(obviously im not saying they had rosy perfect lives as kids teens and young adults— far from it actually) #(but its shockingly clear that they had a great deal more than fiona...or at least less on their plates...) #like when frank speaks of being a boy in college #its like.. these opportunities he threw away while fiona would've loved to have them but instead she had to drop out of HS #against her will #like yes its complicated but bottom line is its just sad how frank and monica were both afforded with control over their lives to a degree #while all of fionas life decisions carried the weight of her whole family and she didnt get to have independent control over her life #like for example she didnt drop out of HS cause she actually wanted to #she just didn't have any other choice

[chewysgummies]

Before I go to sleep, I just wanna say that this show did killbot 86 so fucking dirty bro.

As if Sylvia didn't have it bad, Killbot 86 had it worst cause he literally exists for that one episode where Peeper acts like a lil bitch and whines like a crybaby to lord hater cause he suck at his job. And dead ass that episode got multiple animation errors so they literally introduced Killbot 86 in such a god awful/lame way by giving him multiple design errors in his first debut while also getting shit on by Peeper so they can prove that he's actually a "CoOL and bADaSs" character that grew a spine in s2 after kissing Lord hater's ass throughout s1. He has such a unique design & and the potential to shine only for them to just keep using him just so he can get his shit kicked in by the main two characters and then leave. That's it. That's literally it. And we barely got to know him so the guy had zero characters other than him being a bad guy & a bounty hunter. In which that could've been interesting cause bounty hunter's job is to capture criminal & fugitive. They're not actually bad guys themselves. But this show really treats them like they are, so now I'm wondering what killbot 86's true motive is since that "Evil as can be" karaoke basically confirmed him to be a villain. And since I love him much, it just upset me now that I'm thinking about it. If he doesn't show up again in S3 and at least give him a proper introduction again after a whole ass decade. What the fuck was the point then.

#chewys notes #killbot 86 #woy #wander over yonder #rant #sorry if i sounded too upset #Im just sad that I've learned about the possibility of him actually having some roles in s3 #but if he actually doesn't #and doesn't even show up in s3 at all #Then they COMPLETELY screwed him over #You can't do this to him like this #Man screw this show bro #(Note: i think it a good show and shit) #blah blah blah #who cares #But my god im so attached to him #That i literally only focus on him and dumped everything about this show in the trash #I literally want to steal him away from this show #He absolutely DESERVES better than this #you can argue and say that im getting upset for no reason #But yeah #i mean im writing this during midnight at 12:39 #but my god #i fucking love killbot 86 #Can you blame me for getting upset that they're not using him properly? #Especially since they gave him such an important roles to Wander & Sylvia relationship now #or something #Fuck this show man #/lh

[beesinspades]

I wish I could say i'm taking the rejection of my application to that zine well, but alas </3

#i am. normal levels of upset not at all crying #and my brain is stupid so now the huge excitement i felt for it is ruined for me and it breaks my heart #but thats the risk with me when applying to zines and i knew that when i applied #still hurts 🥲 #if you know me you know how crazy excited i was over this zine so.....it blows #crying over it like a little baby #the worst is not knowing why they didn't pick me but i understand telling everyone the reason of their rejection is too time consuming #anyway. i applied as a pinch hitter too (which i usually never do so that tells you how serious I was haha) but i doubt they'll need one #and they might not pick me if they do #anyway anyway #i woke up every hour of the night because i was so nervous over this mail #so now im sad crying AND sleep-deprived #i got three hours left time to try to finally sleep properly #god im so embarrassing #beelio rants

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"You'll never drown if you keep swimming.." very nice words to hear after the stressful ordeal of making a deal with the devil! I REALLY LOVE JAY FERIN. when shes not carrying the team in battle shes very much carrying more emotional luggage than others seem to give her credit for. im cheering for her! go girl, go get the team together!

#jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #jrwi show #jrwi riptide spoilers #BWUHH SO I FINISHED THIS ONE RECENTLY ACTUALLY #IT WAS ROTTIN IN MY WIPS FOREEEVERRRRR GWUHHH IM SO HAPPY TO SET IT FREE #I HAD SUUUCH A HARD TIME WITH THE GODDAMN HANDS HERE.... #IF U THINK THAT LOOKS GOOD THEN U BETTER BELIEEEEVE I BLED FOR IT!!!! #IN other news tho #chips sad boy arc!! i loooved seeing him get all sad n self hating. sayin hes not a good friend or a good pirate or AAAA #baby gorl..... i think its neat to see characters that normally try their best to build themself up soo much finally crumble #i liked seeing the Bastard Title finally get to him. and i like how hes acting after getting thru that arc! #like on one hand hes actin like sooo much more of a baby lately but its like. thats just how he stands up for himself. yknow? #the HEY. BE NICE! sorta stuff. LOVE that for chippy like yeeeess baby girl tell ur friends that they hurt ur feelings #what else can i say here.... NIKLAUS. OUH. OUHH MY GOD NIKLAUS I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH #I LOVE HOW HE TALKS TO JAY I HOPE THEY CAN TALK MORE IN THE FUTURE... godddd i jus wanna see him again.......... #anywyay thats all my thoughts im gonna go obsess over prime defenders again baaaaiiiiiii #IF YOU SAW A TYPO NO U FUCKIN DIDNT

[ansy-tea]

Y'all ever stopped listening to your favorite bands for about 2 years for reasons you don't even know yourself. Maybe it's because you're busy. Maybe it's because you thought you've acquired new tastes. You really don't know. But then suddenly you listened to one song of theirs again and now you're sobbing over how good the songwriting was? And now that you're not a dumb High Schooler without much experience you understand the lyrics even more?

Anyways that's me with Fall Out Boy right now lmao. It's high time I listen to their new album later.

#incoherent rambles #ansy-stalks #confession: would yall kill me if my fave album of theirs is MANIA hAHAHAHHA— #LISTEN #NONE OF THE SONGS WERE A MISS— lord i remember how people criticized that album in its release and how fans are worried about the dubstep-y #vibe (me too cuz “yo idk much about music but how will andy & joe do this live im sorry im dumb 😭”) #then again none of their songs in their wholeass discography is a fricking miss anyways /absolutely biased #even their covers are fun to listen like I Wanna Be Like You??? That sht is on repeat lmao. I Wann Dance With Somebody?? good sht dawg #I think my second fave album is either Folie & Save Rock and Roll? Just cuz Folie is my vibe and SRAR were all dhxjkwjfiaokeixiw <33 #Every fan loves Infinity On High for sure— Golden & ILALWTWIATTGYO (me & you) makes me sob every time #broooo the raw ass line of “I saw God crying at the reflection of my enemies and all the lovers with no time for me” #and “the best way to make it through with hearts & wrists intact is to realize two of the three ain't bad. aaaIIINT BAAAAAADDD—” #for folie a deux there's not a damm instance where I did not feel sadness over What A Catch Donnie. Dawg. The way Elton John sings his part #too bro 😭😭😭😭 #AND HOLYYY SHT THE AFTER(LIFE) OF A PARTY PHCCKKK I FORGOT HOW THAT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME HOLD IT IN HSJDJKSOSID #i would skip that song cuz it makes me so sad sometimes 😭😭😭😭 #OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT LET ME RETHINK MY ORDER OF FAVE ALBUMS HAHAHAHHAHA #“I'm a stitch away from making it AND A SCAR AWAY FROM FALLING APART. APART. BLOOD CELLS PIXELATE AND EEEYEESS DILATE- KISS AWAY THE TEARS #AND KILLS ON THE MOUTH OF AAAALLLL. MY FRIIIEEENDS—“ PHHHHCCKCKKKSIEOS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #JDJAI WAIT AND THE ENTIRETY OF SOPHOMORE SLUMP #OKAY I NEED TO STFU IN THESE TAGS HAHAHAHAHHA #okay to defend my MANIA adoration (do people still hate this album? hope not). ***Bishop's knife trick.*** #“I'm sifting through the sand.Looking for pieces of broken hourglass.Trying to get it all back—put it back together—As if the time #had never passed. I know I should walk away but I just want to let you break my brain and I can't seem to get a grip. no. no matter how I #live with it. thESE ARE THE LAST—“ #I'm sorry. the delivery is just too delicious. #MANIA is a fricking mixbag of weirdly mainstream inspirational songs- to suddenly; drugs- to actually being unhinged- to one of the saddest #“im tryina redeem myself” song(s) (heaven's gate- church- and bishop's) #okay i really need to shut up 😭 #aight. i will stop.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Ugh. Supernatural fans will write fanfics about Dean Winchester that are so heart shattering it tricks me into thinking I should rewatch Supernatural.

#it tricks me into think supernatural was anything more than very mediocre. but maybe my opinion has changed #i just kno i didnt really like it that much bc i thought x files was better and i thought the Christian stuff was boring #but i also used to not like narut0 so maybe i should givr it another shot #ugh. idk i just think some of thr bedt fics ive read were from supernatural. and they've evolved so much over time #like i was reading supernatural fanfic when cas was 1st introduced. ugh. there r a couple fics that r etched in my brain #but i have no idea what thry were called or how i would even try to find thrm. thry were all on fan fiction dot net. woof #anyway im procrastinating. but i should try to draw cas. i feel like i coulf maybe drse him now. or Dean. maybe. i always found thrm hard #to draw. ys kno. ugh. ive got thr supernatural feels. thr fandom i go to when i want to experience thr most wretched sadness #supernatural ramblings #god. i hope this isnt the stsrt of something. ive got so much othet bullshit to watch #unrelated