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#god some of you people are so detached from reality it's incredible i would love to see how you would cope in the world my mum grew
spatialwave · 5 months
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idk if you will want to write this cuz its not exactly mariejordan but i cant stop thinking about marie being emma and jordan's professional cuddler and both of them kinda silently agreeing to do their monthly calls to their shitty parents during different times of the month so marie can be available when it inevitably leads them to sadness
ahhh!! omg! marie is the professional cuddler, that's for sure.
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marie moreau had slowly, but surely, become emma meyer's best friend at god u. she also found her way into jordan li's life where she became, "the best girlfriend ever". a title given to her by a drunk jordan who was feeling very dorky on a night out.
being the designated best friend and girlfriend was incredibly tough work because it called for a lot of cuddles and emotional support (it was pretty easy). emma and jordan made it very easy because they were the most appreciative people ever. if marie wanted to spend time with emma, then jordan would give the two best friends some space, and if marie desperately needed a night with jordan, then emma would let her be.
it was a silent agreement of some kind, to understand who needed marie most at certain times.
jordan, for example, would always get a call from their father near the beginning of each month. a call they wish they could avoid so it would send straight to voicemail and be forgotten about until the next, but they could never quite build up the courage for it. that was when they needed marie. a night to be held in her arms while they cried and detached from reality for just a short while. sometimes the calls weren't so bad and would only leave them a bit numb, but most times they would end in a fiery argument that made jordan question why their father would even call again. marie had become their saving grace, warm and welcome arms that would soothe their worries.
it was the same for emma when her phone would ring mid-month like clockwork. she could see in her mind what her mom's calendar looked like, 'berate emma about her caloric intake and ask for all her measurements' on the 15th of every month. the phone call was exhausting and left her feeling like a shell of a human, but being nestled into marie's warmth while watching some stupid vought movie always made her forget her horrific mother, even just for a night.
marie moreau found happiness through these moments. seeing the two she loved most being hurt by their loved ones tore her heart into pieces, but it was so fucking gratifying when she ran her fingers through their hair and saw those small smiles growing on their lips. to know that she could be there to pick up the pieces and remind them that they were both loved unconditionally.
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fire-loving-siren · 1 year
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So, today I went to watch Film Red at the cinema and it was amazing and I loved it and here is why I loved it! Yes, I read some reviews, some that liked it, some that hated it, and I was going in expecting it not to be as good as it was in the end.
1. Uta (and Shanks)
Some people don't like her. I get it. What I read before watching the movie made me dislike her too but I didn't want to have an opinion without watching the movie. People say it doesn't make sense that Uta exist. Why? Because Shanks had her on his ship and wouldn't take Luffy. I also read that people thought she was childish and a brat.
Honestly, of course she is a "brat". She mentally wasn't able to grow up. Not at all. She basically witnessed the death of a whole kingdom. People were probably still screaming from being burned alive as she ran to get to Shanks. Add the trauma of being abandoned and the feelings of betrayal... She only had Gordon after that and having only one person to grow up with doesn't really give place to mature and grow as a person especially as traumatized as she was. Also, Shanks would never take Luffy because Luffy is Garps grandson. What do you think would have happened if Shanks had taken Luffy with him? He would have gotten the Marine on his back to the extreme. And from that one filmstill of Shanks seeing Rayleighs and Gol D. Rogers we see we can assume that Shanks was found himself just like Uta and Shanks in a way wanted to give back by taking on a child himself.
Uta never had the chance to see the world, meet other peopele and from what we know she barely recognized the tenryuubito. Yeah, she did in the end, but she didn't care, because she was so detached from reality. And what is someone who never grows up? Naive. So of course her behaviour screams out naivete.
2. Klabautermann
I honestly believe what we saw of Merry and what we saw in Film Red isn't the rest of what Oda has planned regarding Klabautermänner. Especially after seeing this incredibly cute personification of the Sunny.
3. Utas heritage (Manga spoiler ahead)
Who is up-to-date with the Manga or at least has seen the end of the Wano arc knows about Lunarians. What I think? After seeing Utas design with the wings? Utas half white hair? Why she was able to sing the runes? Why she is so powerful? (Because honestly she could take over the world.) Uta is half Lunarian. We know Oda was more involved in this movie than the others. And as a designer/artist myself and knowing Oda designed her himself it's safe to assume he didn't do anything without reason. He delibirately designed Uta the way he did. Maybe I'm wrong but it's a theory I can confidently believe in.
4. Tot Musica
Probably an ancient weapon (or an attempt of one, a prototype maybe?). In the newest chapter we saw something in regards to the ancient civilization that ruled during the Void Century. When the Strawhats and the others were in the library as Robin read what was written on the ceiling the guardians that popped up to fight and protect looked very similar to what we saw at the end of the newest chapter. And Uta *sang the ancient runes.* What's up with that?
5. Utas death
She consciously chose death. She didn't want to live feeling the heavy, heavy guilt of what she's done. I honestly don't think I could have lived like this too. Because she is responsible for the death of a whole nation and of trapping so many people in her dream world. What she did came out of a place of desperation to be happy. She is an incredibly tragic character. Shanks understood that hence his smile. He could have yelled at her but he didn't. Because he us an incredibly empathetic man who didn't deserve to watch his child die. But he did. He stayed with her through it all. God, what a Chad. I fell in love all over again with him and overall with One Piece.
But somehow I'm glad she died by saving them, even if she was the initial cause.
So, yeah... My thoughts on Film Red.
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flying-elliska · 2 years
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So I finished watching The Sandman yesterday and damn ! What an experience ! (This is getting long I have a lot to say.)
It felt like nothing else I've seen and watched in a long time. Never read the comics but I've always loved a lot of Neil Gaiman's stuff, the cool fantasy mixed with gritty dark modern/historical reality mixed in with deep philosophical exploration is just next level, and here it just feels so trippy and engaging. I love fantasy but these days the stuff we get often feels like it's afraid to push its audience intellectually.
Usually I am not a big fan of stories where the main characters are gods or other overpowered/immortal beings because it often makes the stakes seem meaningless, either so low or ridiculously high and detached from reality - but it's sidestepped here by a) focusing on Dream at a time of uncommon vulnerability b) giving him enough flaws so that he's often his own worst enemy c) giving some thought to the awful loneliness such beings must experience and d) most of all introduce a lot of very compelling human characters (and make them go through a lot of danger). I think this is what Doctor Who did at its best too, not focusing on how badass and incredible and mysterious and badass and at the center of everything the Doctor is, but focusing more on the companions and their very human problems, the timelessness of the titular character serving to put them into dizzying perspective. They do that here too a bit, seeing human lives through the perspective of Dream and Death and their siblings - so small and frail and miserable in so many ways and yet so important and trying so hard - makes you feel everything so keenly. I spent most of ep 6 crying like a little baby, which is what I love about great stories.
The actors are incredible and so well chosen and it has so many iconic scenes. I had so many moments where I wanted to pause and go !!!!!ACTING!!!!WRITING!!!!! BOOM!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!! It's also full of hot people having sexual tension with each other. Dream is great, like yes he's a pasty brooding guy that looks like he walked out of 2012 tumblr's horny collective unconscious but he absolutely sells the whole eternal anthropomorphized embodiment of dreams thing, he's got the mystique, the super expressive eyes and the long coat, he's what Edward Cullen wishes he was. He's got the range - terrifying, proud, emotionally constipated, lost, compassionate, badass, cold bastard, bedraggled hissing wet cat, confused, alien, heartbreakingly vulnerable. Incomprehensible scary beautiful eldritch creature that still cares about humanity somehow and also guy with head so far up his own ass you want to slap him a little bit (respectfully). With a Batman voice that actually works. It's great.
Then you have Johanna Constantine - instantly fell in love. I know she's a composite of characters but she's got the backstory etc and like John Constantine is a character I love but he's also exactly the archetype I wish we had more as female characters (wlw especially) - messy, morally ambiguous, rough and tumble, charming rogue who's also kind of a bastard but also deeply caring on some level, with a haunted past, an anti-authoritarian attitude, and also obvs bisexual - so I wasn't aware she was in this and like. My God. Amazing. I wish she was in it more and I hope she gets her own show that would be <3 <3 <3
And Gwendolyne Christie as Lucifer - at first I was like huh she's very soft spoken it's a bit strange but then you get to see the simmering menace and power behind it and it's like, holy shit !!!! of course a being so powerful wouldn't need to yell and posture. And the contrast between her blue eyes and angelic blonde curls and the fact that she is so statuesque and tall works so well too like. Incredible. Her contest of wills with Dream is one of my favorite moments of the show, it gave me chills. If she becomes a main antagonist at some point that's gonna be so cool. Then you have Death, who has paradoxically such a lovely presence, she lit up every scene she was in, her interactions with Dream were so touching - episode 6 as a whole is so special, so gentle after the horrors of ep 5, even though it touches on very dark and heavy subjects. And Hob! Who wants to keep on living and figures out Dream just wants a friend !!Matthew the crow! Rose!!! I could keep going because there are a lot more fascinating wonderful characters, there's so many of them that just !!!!!! The antagonists are great, too.
It's also very casually queer. Counted 13 queer characters that have lines and personality and somewhat of an impact on the plot that has nothing to do with their queerness, which is awesome. Now, people's mileage may vary on this, because a lot of these characters are either terrible people and/or have terrible things happen to them, but that's also what happens to the straight characters, so. You have some that venture into harmful cliché territory - the gay serial killer who kills the men he hooks up with, the untrustworthy non human nonbinary character antagonist, the lesbian who commits suicide - but I think the way it's done kind of sidesteps that. The Corinthian is kind of a fascinating example because like, yes he's horrible but the reason he kills has nothing to do with any gay self loathing, he's an eldritch abomination with teeth for eyes that eats people's eyes because it's the only way he gets to feel human which is both horrifying and weirdly poignant, his wanting freedom from his creator is an understandable motive, and he's framed as stylish and kind of cool and the serial killer top dog, which is not usually the sort of framing you get in homophobic movies lmfao. I think gay people should get to be evil in stories, as long as it has nothing to do with their queerness. Still. It's kind of a lot. It has some positive queer characters - Johanna is an anti-hero but still one of the good guys and she gets to kiss a woman on screen - but, hm, it could stand to have more. Feels kind of a bit 90s in there still. I think Dream and Hob should kiss next time and also can we please have a cool lady I can ship with Johanna that doesn't immediately die in a horrible way that would be nice <3
It's not a perfect show - the structure of the season feels very episodic and dislocated - does make sense considering the source material - every episode seems to go in a different direction, ep 2 in particular kind of dragged and I found the three last episodes worked a little less well, like the dream vortex as a threat was a little out of nowhere. But this is also what makes the show interesting, in a way - it has a lot of melancholic, philosophical scenes that are not there to necessarily advance the plot (the character development of the MC maybe) and that felt like they were there just to be there, and there was something so pleasant about that, like not everything needs to be building tension and crazy cliffhangers and obsession with plot. Sometimes you are just there to enjoy and reflect. It's refreshing. I love how so many of the episodes are insane in a completely different sort of way. Ep 5 is straight up horror bottle episode that makes you think about the nature of truth and lies and dreams and cynicism, ep 6 is a poetic, melancholy fable about death and time and the meaning of life and what it's like to be immortal, ep 3 has Johanna (<3), ep 4 has that insane confrontation with Lucifer, the last eps with the cereal convention go into weird absurdist noir territory plus touching story about family, like !!! there is just SO MUCH it's a treasure trove
There is a lot of tonal whiplash though, going from the serial killer convention to the stuff with Abel and Cain that honestly felt kinda naff, to the funny BnB with the drag queen host and Barbie and Ken and - that stuff is difficult to make it work, and the vibe is important, and honestly I don't think the vibe was 100% there, which brings me to my main criticism :
WHY!!!!! do all Netflix shows look so grey and flat and kind of desaturated ! what is going on !!!! I already had this issue with Shadow and Bone, which I overall loved, and others like First Kill - it's so frustrating because you have a show like this with incredible writing and acting and what could be a truly next level atmosphere but then the aesthetics are just kind of. decent. serviceable. sometimes cool, but too often boring. it's nowhere near as psychedelic and wild and imaginative as it should be. there are some very cool sets and shots, indeed, but like. Like!!!!! It honestly took me some time to warm up to the show because the intro scene takes you to the land of Dreams and it looks like a Walmart Disney castle plonked in the middle of random hills, like hello ? My dreams don't look that bland so this took me way out of it. Where is the drama ! The rolling fog ! The wonder and beauty !! It's too clean ! Too airbrushed ! (Kind of wish it was set in the 90s honestly). Dream's palace hall looks like a discount Hogwarts with the color palette of a dentist's office. They could have done so much more with the hotel at the cereal convention. The directing also felt kind of meh, tbh. But I suspect that's less the fault of any people working on this and more about general conditions at Netflix and like I said before : grrrrrrrrrrr. I mean it's a lot less bad than Amazon's Party City version of Tolkien but still.
I had to have something to bitch about lmao but overall, amazing show, so worth the watch, glad to see it's doing well because honestly it HAS to be renewed, it's just too iconic not too. hope they go harder on the vibe next time. gonna go read the comics in the meantime <3
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embossross · 1 year
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Hey youuu ! Just so you know, this is a live-comment RN. I'm pretending to type an email as I type this chapter review lol (and yes, I've long since given up on the comments section).
I just finished the bath scene. What to say. I've been reading smut for almost a decade and it's been a long time since I've read something while blushing so much and with my hand over my mouth. I'm at the office and I didn't even hear my co-worker come to my desk, he had to snap his fingers to get me to reconnect to the real world.
Now I'm laughing my ass off at Rindou's POV. The asthma attack ? Setting off the fire alarm ? IT'S YOUR MOM SHE SENT NUDES ?! Nooooo sir, how can you be so funny and yet so cruel ? I can't.
I swear Rin became a dom only to vent his frustration of being Ran's brother.
Speaking of the devil, when Ran told Rin that he would be happy to meet Yasuko I was like 🥹🥹🥹🥹
Wait wait wait Naoto ? Like Tachibana Naoto ? Like the (future) DETECTIVE ?!
The meeting with Ran, oh you answered my prayers, I was waiting so much for this moment and you didn't disappoint ! I have to say he handled himself pretty well, I expected him to do everything he could to embarrass his poor little brother but this man has too big a soft spot for his little Rinnie this is so <3
A double date with. Koko? EMOJI LARMS I will literally melt ok ? He's like, really, my ultimate comfort character (apparently that says a lot about me.. idk 🤷🏻‍♀️)
Here, I just finished. My eyes are out of my sockets, I'm short of breath and I think my heart missed a beat or two. Even though I'm not a fan of BDSM (as much as I've tried, I don't understand the dynamic between naughtiness and affection), I can still say that it was incredibly intense.
Thank you, again and again, for sharing this story that rose so quickly to my top 5 (and sorry for talking so much... God I'm cringing) 💖
Your top 5???? that's so unbelievably flattering. Thank You!
i'm always so thankful for your reviews. i love seeing what you thought of the chapter :)
1st & foremost: please don't get in trouble at your job over this story! so funny to imagine your coworker almost catching you. that scene is so intense - if i can say so myself - i can't imagine what i'd do if someone saw me reading (or worse, writing) it!!
there's just no way Ran doesn't give Rindou a hard time, and equally no way the others don't follow his lead. my headcanon, at least for this story, is that rindou comes off so detached because it's a coping mechanism from people always messing with him.
hmmm...is that detective naoto? wonder what that could mean if it was...
i feel bad to report that i probably won't write the koko double date, but i will write something with lots of bonten execs and reader, including koko & yumi, so hopefully that will make up for it a little!
I’m glad you could enjoy the scene even if it isn’t to your personal tastes. Many in this fic aren’t to mine either. (Some of the kinks are mine, but some just feel true to the characters, and I am too shy to elaborate lol). Sometimes people – not you! – seem confused about fantasy and smut writing. They think what we write/read is this one to one of what we want in real life, but the reality is far more complicated. I think this dynamic feels right to Rindou’s character, and develops the characters well, and it is INTENSE to write, which is just personally fun. But I personally am way too lazy to be having such involved, kinky sex all the time. It’s just not for me either 😊
anyway - thank you again seriously. i loved this message so much 💖
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hey babes it's been a second <3 still stressed as always but what's new right? well for some updates: i am officially a high school graduate <3 and a committed college student <3 and yet still completely and utterly clueless <3
it's been a slow summer. but prom was a lot of fun - not everything i'd hoped and wanted, but it was still fun for what it was and would be considered a dream to anyone else. my dress was a dream that's for sure - it's the one thing that made me truly okay that night. it was the princess ballgown of my dreams and i felt like the belle of the ball :) so many compliments and princess / prom queen comments. it was nice. i hoped for something a little close to romance but that's a dreamer's mind. my friends were good company and had me sweating on the dance floor - i miss them <3 and at the end, my mom actually let me go to a friend's house for some karaoke and post-prom hangout which was incredibly fun. it was nice to be out so late and feel like a real teenager for once. it was a good night and my friends are cherished memories in my mind. i have some things that i wished had happened which is why i say it wasn't all i'd hoped - and i got there late so i missed out on time ( and dinner ! ) - but again, it was a beautiful night for what it was.
graduation i can't exactly give the same high praise.
it was a beautiful ceremony and i felt beautiful with the dress and heels i wore, and mom did my hair and makeup and i got to decorate my cap last minute. ( which i should note on the side: i've noticed my grad cap is missing and i have zero doubt in my mind that my mom took it smh. ) i decorated it with letter charms for a 3D effect and they spell out "i am made of love and it's stronger than you" from steven universe :) it has butterflies on it too ! i chose that quote because it's sort of a small secret dig at everyone and everything that has posed obstacle or hardship in my life. my mom, unkind people at school, etc. there have been so many things that have beaten me down since i was in middle school and it's been really hard mustering the strength to forage past obstacles and frustrations and helpless circumstances. but im here. ive done it. ive lived til graduation and my freedom is so close i can taste the dew of the unbound horizon. and ive made it to this point all because im made - chockful - of goddamn love. love for my bestfriend, love for my dad, for my baby sister, a slow growing love for myself, and love for an unending list of things like art, music, nature, dreams, and so much more.
i tried my best to be excited through the whole thing but the entire day, the reality of what was happening just didnt strike me. i felt detached - i was leaving this place and this process of leaving was supposed to be emotional and striking because of it's meaning and my connection to it. but i wasn't really emotional. if anything i felt pretty apathetic, as if i was just an empty vessel just moving through space - existing through the moment instead of living it. i'd never really felt all that connected to this place and i had some cherished bonds and good memories, but nothing that felt heart-shatteringly meaningful you know? and i tried to pretend, god, i find i'm really good at that. i was with a friend during the ceremony and was around some people i knew, and i tried to pretend that the whole thing was exciting and nerve wracking - and admittedly i was really jittery - but i think that's because my body didn't know how to react so it just conjured up a lot of nervous uncertain movement. i said a lot of "this is really it" "can you believe it?" "ahh i'm so nervous" "i'm ready" "i'm not ready" and everything like that, but i think i just said all that to have something to say. and the hugs i gave and everything were meaningful because i did appreciate everyone who had made memories with me. but after it was all over, it was like it never existed. like i was never really apart of anything in this environment ever. it didnt feel real. the ceremony nor the life and experiences that the ceremony celebrated. i just felt so unattached because i never really had anything solid in this place. it was always just temporary. i had no deep connection to anyone or anything here so it felt as if i was never there at all. and that lack of connection just felt so empty. when youre at an event that's meant to make you feel overflown with emotions - feeling empty just feels bad and wrong. and it didn't help that my parents didn't seem all that proud afterward. i won't get too much into that but essentially: my mom was upset because her and my family couldnt find me after the ceremony and she had been calling my phone while i was inside getting my actual diploma ( cause they didn't hand them out on stage, they only gave us the book covers ). and when my mom's upset - well it puts everyone in a sour mood. my dad and grandma found me and we had to walk a long way to the car where my mom was complaining and making a fuss about me just as i was walking up. not even - i could hear her railing up from three cars down. it just wasn't a good feeling. it felt like nothing had changed. i had gone to this event that was supposed to mark the turning point in life where everything changes, and yet i was going back home with and to the same people as always who make me feel the same bad things as always - so did anything really change? oh, and she was also upset because she texted me during the ceremony to put my hand up and wave so she could see me but i said absolutely not because the principal was giving a speech and that would be embarrassing and rude - especially when i couldnt even see her myself, so i'd just be waving and looking around like an idiot while it's dead silent and the principal is speaking. but she didn't understand my perspective and was still upset. but yeah: all in all. not the best really at all. it makes me sad to think back to it. it just felt disappointing because i know that i didnt feel the things i was supposed to feel, i didn't get the pictures i was supposed to get, and i just didnt celebrate the way it shouldve been celebrated. it was all wrong. but it is what it is i guess.
that same night, my mom took my phone just because it was there on my bed and i guess she was bored. i didn't get it back til some 2 weeks later when we went on vacation to a water resort for 3 days. and then she took it again while we were at the resort and i havent had it since. so yeah. it's been a pretty lonely, boring summer. but i'm coping.
i finally committed to a college :) i wont say obviously for privacy reasons but it's been a really rocky process. it's so difficult stepping into a role of personal responsibility and control over my life, when for the majority of it - everything i've ever really had to do has had to be "approved." my parents are so confusing. they tell me that i cant just make decisions by myself when it's their money but when i go to them they ignore me and shut the door in my face. and when we finally DO actually talk and work something out, i have responsibilities that i need to take care of and they shove me off to do what i need to do.. but yet don't provide me the RESOURCES to carry out my responsibilities ?? and when i ask for the resources i need or for just some basic fucking assistance in doing what i need to do, i'm ignored and pushed away - and then told that i shouldve done things ages ago. WHEN I'VE BEEN TRYING. it's so frustrating, i just cant put it to good words. i feel my eyes burn just writing about it. it's so confusing and frustrating and feels so demeaning. i feel so unheard. the only time we properly talk is for them to tell me what i can and cant do. but when i need to talk to them about anything else - what i need help with or dont understand or a step in the process that i need my phone or a computer for, i'm just shut down. my dad told me to "stop being irritating" the other day. are you fucking kidding me? it hurts. it hurts so much. to have needs that aren't heard or respected and all the while, figure everything out on my own when it's an overwhelming sea of information to process, and FURTHER all the while, dancing on eggshells to not say or do the wrong thing so that i dont risk losing resources and worse. it's a tiptoe tap dance on a minefield and mf i never had megan knees. hhh. anyways, that's that. the first day of classes is the end of next month and i still need to get my final transcript sent over, file some health forms, and continue the registration process and get familiar with all the random confusing portals. and on top of that: i never got to go to orientation, which is awful because how am i gonna get my questions answered now? i figured on calling the school. that's my only option really. but what the hell am i gonna say? "hello, i wasnt able to make it to orientation but i still have very important questions about dorm life, dining, and work on campus - oh and not to mention, i still have not seen the actual campus in person and have apparently already been assigned a dorm and roommates according to my student portal, but i have not seen the dorm in person either and have no idea how the move in process will work. school starts the end of next month and im very nervous about not knowing my way around this school and the dorms that i have yet to ever actually visit, and i am uncomfortable with my confusion about the move in process, meal plans, and campus work programs considering how quickly i will soon be attending school compared to how little i know and how little i am prepared. all this to say: even though i couldnt come to orientation, would it be possible to schedule a visit with an advisor of some sort where i can see the campus and get my questions answered?" it sounds practical, but is anyone really gonna give me the time when this time was specifically designated for orientation for this reason?? it's embarrassing and makes me nervous, but it's my only option. that's where i'm at right now with college sigh.
anyways, I have more to say but it got too long so part 2 coming asf
- 7.23.22 | 7:43 AM -
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jiangwanyin · 3 years
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why are we still here? just to suffer? every day i am forced to read anti capitalist posts glorifying communism and the soviet union
#i am so incredibly tired of this#please westerners especially americans i am begging you just pick up a history book#i don't know how to break it to you but socialism doesn't work not done like that anyway and the soviet union is not a good#fucking example?? and do you seriously think you could live freely enjoying indulging in your hobbies because yay no more capitalism?#god some of you people are so detached from reality it's incredible i would love to see how you would cope in the world my mum grew#up in and it was even worse earlier#this is literally my biggest pet peeve oh my god#okay the wording is messy i'm sorry ignore me but you get my point.#like. the people who are like ''boo hoo i can't do art under capitalism because everything is about work'' yes capitalism sucks but#guess fucking what you literally wouldn't be any better off under communism!#this is just one example out of billion but my mum used to play the piano when she was young and she loved it and she was good at it#so her teacher made her do concerts because talent shouldn't be hoarded and hidden away selfishly but shared with the world and#used for the Greater Good and entertaining the community. my mum had stage fright and hated performing in front of#others and she just wanted to play the piano in peace. her teacher kicked her out because she refused to teach her if she didn't do#concerts. she never played the piano again until after i was born but sure tell me about how you'll have plenty of time and#endless opportunities to do all the things you want to do once you leave capitalist hell and find yourself in communist bliss!#yes i'm bitter but i'm also right i swear to god i'm going to start biting people#just. shut up. shut up about communism if you don't know the second thing about it#angie.txt
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0mrs-evans0 · 3 years
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𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬... 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞
Warnings: smut +18, sexual content, fingering, f x f, lesbian sex, cunnilingus, sex in public, cheating
+18 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Words: 1,8k
Summary: Your best friend helps you detach yourself from reality.
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Enjoy the reading!
You were so tired of faking that everything is alright. Your relationship fell apart with each passing day. It wasn't the same as it used to be. Once you both loved each other, now you were together because it was much easier that way. Pretend you still feel something for him every day. Your life has become monotonous.
All the hours spent together looked the same. Nothing has changed. Well, maybe apart from the feeling you once had. You didn't feel anything for Bruce anymore. Just sad indifference. Pretending to be a happy couple in front of people was not easy. Just the thought of having to grab his hand made you disgusted. You didn't even sleep in one bed.
You weren't even sure what you were doing this for. You didn't care about him. Perhaps the thought that you would admit your mistake to your parents, who did not support the relationship from the beginning.
That evening you made an appointment with Natasha for a couple of drinks. You had a day off from work so you didn't want to stay home because you knew Bruce would be there. You didn't have to spend time with him unless it was necessary.
You started the preparations with a hot bath. You needed to relax, for a long time now your whole body was terribly tense. You poured your beloved chocolate bubble bath into the water. It was your favorite fragrance. You shake everything with your hand to make foam. You took off all your unnecessary clothing.
You stared at your naked reflection in the mirror for a moment. What happened to this confident young woman? Everything has changed since you started dating Bruce. You didn't feel so attractive anymore. You don't even remember the last time he praised you, what your body looks like. You wanted to see yourself as goddesses. You deserve it. You have decided that tonight will change your life. You will love yourself and your curves again.
You carefully put one foot in the bathtub, making sure the temperature is right. The water was hot. Only that could help soothe your sore muscles. You get immersed in the water. You don't remember the last time you were so relaxed. The light from the candles gave you a blissful feeling of peace. You reached for a glass of wine you put on the edge of the tub.
After an hour you stand on the bathroom tiles. You shudder at the feeling of their coldness, wrapped your body in a fluffy white towel, and brushed your teeth. Then did some facial treatments. The next step was to lubricate the body. For today, you've chosen a balm with a slightly chocolate-strawberry aroma.
Completely refreshed, you returned to the bedroom and then to the dressing room. From the cupboard, you pulled out new baby pink lace underwear. For a moment you wondered what to wear for tonight. You've chosen a short, satin dress that you haven't had the chance to test yet. Looking in the mirror you marveled at how well it fits all your curves. You looked really sexy. You finally felt as beautiful as one time.
You put on more makeup than usual. Now, your eyes were shimmering with the glitter you used. The lips looked really tempting in that blood-red lipstick. The confidence emanated from your posture, and that was it all about. The highlighter made you look like a celebrity.
You packed the phone and keys in a small purse. Finally, you were ready to leave. Without even looking at the couch where your "boyfriend" was sitting, you made your way to the door.
You got into the yellow taxi and after a while, you stood in front of the "Inferno" club illuminated by red neon lights. You wrote to Natasha, she was already inside.
Without waiting for anything else, you entered the club and immediately went to the bar next to which your friend was standing. "Hi!" As soon as Nat noticed you, she stepped off the barstool and hugged you. "You look so beautiful in that dress, honey!"
You smiled slightly at her praise. Bruce probably wouldn't even notice your little change. You ordered yourselves a drink, sitting at the bar all the time, laughing and talking. You don't even remember the last time you had so much fun. Banner restricted all of your life areas. You finally felt free. "That's my favorite song!" Romanoff tried to shout over the loud music. "You have to go dancing with me!"
Without waiting for your reply, she pulled your hand and led you out onto the crowded dance floor. Honestly, you didn't want to dance, but you didn't want to say "no" to her either.
You don't even know at what point you started rubbing against each other. The feeling of her body against yours was heavenly. Natasha, as if reading your mind, turned to look at you. You felt her hands on your hips. Your lips started a fight for domination. Her hand began to wander down your dress. She tugged its end gently.
Your whole body stiffened as Romanoff touched your smooth pussy. She didn't care if you were still on the dance floor full of people where someone might notice it at any moment. "God!" She moaned into your ear. "You're so wet for me. When was the last time someone touched you the way I do?" "I don't remember." Your cheeks turned red in the embarrassment. They resembled the color of a ripe tomato. Natasha did not expect such honesty.
She laughed a little, which made you worse embarrassed. Without asking any more questions, she took her hand out from your panties and licked her wet fingers provocatively.
After a while, you both ended up in a bathroom. Natasha pushed you onto the dark tiles. She smiled as she noticed the goosebumps on your skin. You couldn't help it that your own friend turned you on.
You had never thought of her that way before. "Tell me, sweetheart..." Her lips were on your neck. More shivers passed you as Natasha left bite marks on your sensitive skin. "Do you want me to ruin that pretty body of yours?" "Y-yes." You stuttered. "Yes, what?" She smiled maliciously.
"Yes, please." You said quietly. "You have to be louder. I want everyone in this fucking club to hear how thirsty you are for me. "Please fuck me!" You practically screamed. "If you are asking so nicely." She smiled seeing what state she brought you to. Just at that moment, you felt her fingers inside you.
You groaned out loud at a feeling you've never had before. You were not used to such delicate hands, but to be honest you liked what Natasha did to your body much more than men did.
Her fingers skimming along your slick lower lips. You couldn't help but keep out loud moans and gasps. Her free hand slid against the side of your face straight to the mouth. You sucked her finger at which Romanoff snarled loudly.
She had dreamed about this moment for so long. Now that she finally had you at her disposal, she couldn't get enough of your beautiful face. Your moans made Natasha want you even more. She has long suspected you're not straight. Tonight she found out the hard way.
Seeing her watching you fiercely, you pulled Natasha into a careless kiss. Her lips were soft and juicy. It was a nice change from the dry ones you've always been in contact with.
She cupped your jaw and titled your head back. She wanted to remember this view for the rest of her life. You were canting your hips for more. Natasha's fingers coated in your arousal. She was so close to your clit. She moved her thumb so she could circle it.
You were squirming at the pleasure she gave you. Your lips didn't part, you both wanted more. Suddenly she knelt down in front of you, tore your soaked panties to shreds, and made her way to your inner thighs. The feeling of her lips against your body was indescribable. You grabbed the strands of her hair with trembling hands. You weren't worried about her hairstyle, which was ruined at the moment. You had to hold on to the wall, you knew you could fall at any moment, and you were already very close to it.
Her tongue on your pussy was incredible. You knew this one time would not be enough. Natasha made you addicted to her touch and the pleasure it carried.
You were like a junkie, missing the right dose for months. Your friend was like a drug and you wanted more with every second. You would give anything to feel like this all the time. You were high. "I'm gonna cum." You moaned. "Cum, baby." She said with her lips still on your sensitive area. "Cum for me!"
"Everything fine there?" You heard a knock on the bathroom door and a concerned woman's voice. You got scared a little, but you didn't want Nat to stop. "Yeah! Everything is fine!" At the same moment you came with a loud groan.
Natasha laughed, which sent shivers down your body. "Did he ever make you so wet?" She asked with a mocking smile. Even though she had wanted you for a long time, playing with a girl of the would-be boyfriend was satisfying, to say the least. Romanoff knew she got you into a state you never knew before. Natasha made a beast out of you.
You came home on shaky legs. You still got chills at what you did with Nat. She made you addicted to herself. You wanted more and more.
When you entered the apartment, you noticed that Bruce was still sitting on the couch in the living room. Hearing the door open, he glanced towards you. "How was your night with Nat?" Bruce asked. He noticed the smudged lipstick you had all over your chin. "It was..." You have been wondering for a moment. "Intensive."
Just remembering it, wetness floated down your naked thighs.
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bbyarin · 2 years
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hi! I have some thoughts about manifestation through law of assumption. I keep seeing affirmations such as "I am God" and "everyone is you pushed out" and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On one hand it is incredibly empowering but on the other hand does that mean other people straight up have no agency? I see people trying to manifest sps and affirming that their sps are obsessed with the affirmer but isn't that kind of weird that these people are desperately in love with someone who has no agency and simply conform to what is being affirmed by that person? It takes away their (sp's) choice. And isn't love 2 people choosing to love each other rather then one person just controlling the other? But with the law of assumption the notion of love in its purest form would be impossible since WE are god and other people just do as affirmed. What do you think?
Hi! I think it depends on one's personal beliefs. I can see two sides of the situation and both of them make sense. Truthfully, I'm still trying to figure and sort out my beliefs; I was raised with religion and although I believe that I have the power to do anything, that I am the creator of my own reality and that anything is possible, I'm still not quite sure on the notion of being God. I assume I'll figure it out eventually though!
When taking into the law of assumption's beliefs, Neville identifies God with human imagination (hence why people believe they are God) and believes that everything we're experiencing right now is a dream. The belief that everyone is you pushed out means that everyone is connected to you in some way. In LAO, people around you do not have free will so the argument "it takes away their choice" isn't really valid because they didn't have it in the first place since everyone is just a fragment of your imagination. Besides, if they want to have a different person as their love interest then they can in their own reality! I might be wrong though so feel free to correct me <33
I am honestly not very into this belief, it just makes me feel detached from everything and everyone. It could just be me though; I'm not very fond of getting to control everything, what's the point of living if I am alone in this world and that everything around me is controlled by me? Perhaps this is what Neville said when he said he betrayed God; if I am truly God, I wouldn't want to remember this information, I would prefer to live without remembering it as life seems way better that way, I feel more connected to the 3D and everything in it. I know I heard someone say that even though this is all a dream, it doesn't make it less "real" but I think that it does.
I'm sorry I'm unable to answer properly, I'm still trying to wrap my head around this belief. I would love to not be alone in this world, if you asked me, I prefer the default belief that everything is independent of me but that clashes with the law. I think I have to find my own beliefs regarding this instead of following someone else's. Perhaps everyone is God? Perhaps the universal concept is that we are all God (or have a part of Him within us) which would explain why we are all connected in a way and as they coexist in our reality, we coexist in theirs, both as God, both one but different... or maybe God is a whole separate entity but we're all connected to Him because we are His creations; this makes me feel better about things since everyone's existence wouldn't feel that empty as opposed to believing that everyone is made up.
I don't know.
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dealwithwarlords · 3 years
Text
Ikemen Vampire and their Godly parents
Inspired by Percy Jackson.
Mozart: Apollo
Son of the God of light, of sun, of music, of truth, of poetry, and arts. May not be a leader but set trends. I will start with the most obvious fact and that is Mozart’s talent for music, as all of us know Apollo’s children are exceptional for the arts in general. Mozart is not someone that tends to laugh frequently but as a good children of Apollo, you can hear the sound of what it could be beautiful Bells when he does, and a smile as warm as the sun. Because of his prolonged time on practicing he sometimes has little to none sunlight, that makes him really moody (more than he already is) so taking some walks or playing with Schelm in the garden are necessary for his health even if he claims to not need it.
Not all of Apollo’s children are blond, some of them have physical traits that are related to the sun such as freckles, warm skin subtones, and even if their hair is black if you see it in the sun light you can see a golden or brownish reflection on their hair, in Mozart’s case if we see carefully there’s also warm subtones such as beige, and pink :
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While other white haired characters have cold undertones like blue:
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Because of Mozart’s incredible fair skin it’s easy for him to get freckles. Apollo’s children are lie detectors, as they say, you cannot cover the sun with your thumb, Mozart knows from miles away when someone is lying.
Apollo’s children are scary when they get mad, be aware of what they could do when they lose control, just like Mozart, it may seem like he’s always angry but he actually isn’t, when he’s angry you will know.
Apollo’s kids are naturally over dramatic, they turn everything into inspiration for music, plays, etc. remember that time when Mozart said that dry things like cookies are his “worst enemy”? Just because Marie Antoinette gave him a bunch of them, he didn’t know what to do and decided it was a good idea to stuff everything in his mouth...
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To what MC finished laughing because ... bruh 😂
Isaac: Athena
Goddess of wisdom, handicraft, knowledge and warfare. Children of Athena are gifted with a sharp and brilliant mind. Do I have to say more ? Isaac is a genius, he has an incredible hunger for knowledge, and curiosity that makes him discover the most incredible things in this world. Children of Athena enjoy reading a good book and most of the time you can see them lost in their thoughts.
We know that Athena’s children can be street smart and book smart, the majority likes to be street smart since they already have a facility to keep info from books, but in the case of our apple boy he’s chosen to be book smart, this kind of children tend to have difficulties to relate to others and create deep bonds since their brilliant minds make them feel detached from the world that surrounds them.
Napoleon : Zeus
Charismatic
Natural leaders
Children of Zeus are the leaders struggling with the pressure of being leaders. Since they are such a reliable people, their friends usually seek for them when they need help, maybe they are not as wise as a child of Athena, but their empathy makes them good advisers too. They’re strong and resilient.
Serious but yet humorous
Assertive
Children of Zeus are prideful, they like to tease others but when the tables turn they don’t really know how to react (not like they are doormats but more like in a teasing way something like pikachu face: “you ... you just teased the son of the lightening.. right in front of my salad” that kind of reaction. It’s actually kind of cute 😂
They can be flighty or warm, depends of the person they are dealing with and their mood.
Physically traits could be grey, blue or in some cases green eyes. Children of Zeus usually have gray hairs since a young age.
Arthur: Dionysus
God of wine, madness, ecstasy and theatre
Children of Dionysus are sociable, charismatic and the life of the party. The ones with all the connections. They’re the friend that everyone references when they say ‘I know a guy’ and we all know that Arthur knows or at least recognizes a lot of faces in Paris.
Children of Dionysus are not only party people, they are really clever too, people usually don’t give them credit for how smart they really are, but they prefer to keep that intelligence hidden ‘cause they don’t want to intimidate anyone, after all the party needs to continue !
They are the ones you can always count on to have a good time. The best telling jokes and reading the atmosphere of a room. they are the ones you call when you’re upset and just want to forget about reality for a night.
Stubborn, determined and chaotic nature.
Most of Dionysus children are empaths, that’s how they can feel the mood so well and make everyone have a good time, nevertheless if they don’t have a control over this ability it can be bad for their health, appropriating other people's problems or feeling guilty if they cannot help their friends as a good “host” would do.
Another thing, Arthur really seems to enjoy alcoholic beverages such as beer, wine, etc. besides coffee.
Talking about physical traits Dionysus children rock semi long hair, this chill and laid back appearance is the signature of the god of party and wine. Even when they wear formal clothes you can see this relaxed look on them.
I remember one time I read a post where it said that Dionysus children often have the nicest shoes in the room (idk why? 😂) BUT DUDE that’s true, there was also other post where you guys were talking about who had the best taste in shoes and guess who was one of the best fashionistas 👌👌😂
Also, olive undertones, in hair, skin, etc. if we see Arthur’s hair for example, sometimes it doesn’t appear to be entirely blue, it also has olive undertones:
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Jean: Hades
God of the underworld
Talking about children of hades we can see that they are not only the “quiet ones” but also people with a sharp intuition. They observe everything and everyone, quietly. Tend to hold grudges and feel out of place, they stay a lot of time inside their heads and because of this children of hades usually have a hard time finding their “meaning in life” or “their place in this world”. Since they are deep they have a difficult time relating to others, meanwhile everyone is talking about the trends of the year, children of Hades are in other Chanel .
They like to be by their own, or maybe with someone that actually understands them.
I think most of the time people only focus on their “dark personality” and forget to appreciate other traits like the incredible willpower that they have to achieve anything that attracts their attention.
Physically talking, as we all know, children of Hades have dark tones in their hair, eyes and skin tone. There’s something cold in their appearance that makes them look intimidating and mysterious
Vincent : Apollo
Do I really need to explain this one ? 😂😂
I will just cover some facts that relate to Apollo’s children since Vincent is like the PERFECT example of what is being an Apollo’s child.
I think Vincent has a BIG potential to learn any instrument that he likes, also archery but I doubt it since he wouldn’t like to hurt anyone.
Is easy for Children of Apollo to tan, just imagine our angel with a beautiful sexy tan 🙌🏻😫✨
EMBODIMENT OF LIGHT
also, Apollo’s children are healers, and Vincent wants not only to help but if possible heal everyone’s suffer, as we can see in his route, he wants to help MC with her anxiety to return to her time nevertheless he’s never too pushy and waits until MC feels prepared to open up to him.
Apollo’s children are people pleasers, in a mini drama, Vicent tells Leonardo that if there was a girl in the mansion he wouldn’t know how to behave, since he only wants to give a good impression.
Leonardo : Hephaestus
Children of Hephaestus , Their minds are constantly working on something and their ideas running wild.
They have SO many ideas that they have dozens of project running AT THE SAME TIME, they can even compete with children of Athena.
Some of this children may not be geniuses but out of their curiosity and hunger for knowledge is because they can become worthy opponents to the other god or goddesses children.
Masters on none, but master of many.
They also got that freaking cheeky smile of their father.
Intelligent, good looking and good jokes.
Physically talking children of Hephaestus have strength in their upper body, just like their father, they have enough strength in their hands, arms and back to carry or forge any metal and turn it into a weapon (or any creation but you get me) what usually makes them have (on males) big shoulders or backs and in females, they have shorter but stronger fingers.
Comte : Aphrodite
Who was the one that fell in love in the middle of war ????
YUP this guy ☝️
Children of Aphrodite are hopeless romantic, they find beauty and love in the darkest places and times. They are the ones that you go for advice (not the kind of advice you would go to Athena, but one that helps your heart to find a solution).
They like luxury and aesthetic stuff, Comte with all the money that he has could be living his life like Leo, relaxing, giving little attention to appearances, etc. BUT NO
DADDY COMTE NEEDS TO WEAR HIS DIOR PAJAMAS AND RELAX IN A ROMAN BATH THANK YOU. It’s not like he’s superficial, but he just likes to pamper himself.
Children of Aphrodite have charm speak, Idk you but every time Comte speaks is like velvet for my ears. Most of the time people only see Aphrodite’s children as superficial, not so intelligent and unnecessary at battle but they are dead wrong, actually they are really observant and can be manipulative since they understand and almost feel others people emotions and intentions.
Even though their mother is the Goddess of Love, they can hide their emotions pretty well
It is known that Aphrodite’s children can speak fluently French and Oh look at that Comte is French, coincidence ? I DONT THINK SO.
Theo: Ares
God of war
Children of Ares are topically seen as this really short-tempered guy /girl but there’s more about them. I’m gonna start with the basic personality traits, Children of Ares are stubborn as hell, does it reminds you of Theo ? 😅 they are also really protective of those they love, it may not appear like it but they don’t like injustice, so when they see someone that’s being a jerk they fight with everything they got, sometimes they exaggerate tho.
HATES GOSSIP they like to say thing straight to the point and don’t have filter, sometimes they may seem rude but they are just saying the truth
Doesn’t take shit from anyone
Determinant and never gives up, they also give (its rare but they do) advices when they see you really struggling with something, an example of this could be when (in Leo’s route) MC had a hard time deciding what to choose between staying in 19th century France or coming back to her time with Leo, to what Theo noticed her struggling and gave her a brief but nice advice.
HARD ON THE OUTSIDE SOFT ON THE INSIDE
Children of Ares are aware that they intimidate their siblings, that’s why they become silent and prefer to stay in their cabin, but if you want them to open up to you, a nice smile and kind personality would be a great combo to go with them.
Children of Ares are really intelligent, after all their father is also a strategist.
Shakespeare: Hades
Again ... do I have to explain this one ? 😂
Shakespeare is deep af. Children of Hades see the deepest and darkest things in life, that’s why they tend to feel depressed, but because of that they also can see the brightest parts. This contrast usually is embodied in an artistic way, it may be in plays, dancing, singing, stories, etc.
The goth friend
Children of Hades are one of the kindest siblings among all God and Goddesses out there since they know what loneliness feels like.
guess who feels like that ? YUP Will does
they like to be alone but not lonely.
Dazai: Dionysus
Dionysus was known to be a Reckless, crazy god that resembled freedom and fun. Children of Dionysus are usually found smiling for ... no specific reason, some could say is even scary or suspicious, like if they were drunk 😅.
Dionysus has parties where everyone dances and can fall into madness and ecstasy. Dazai is a sensual man, he has this aura that is just so appealing and comfortable to be with, but he is still a mystery, just like his father. Dyonisus was a god that usually doesn’t get in other’s people problems but it is known that he has a lot of powers, and the majority remains a mystery to humans.
Dazai is someone that craves to feel and be loved, but is scared to be rejected for who he really is, instead of that he prefers to show the “clown facade” that everyone likes, after all is easier to have “company” in a party full of people that you don’t know but they don’t really care about you than opening up to someone and being vulnerable.
People usually describe children of Dionysus as “crazy”
They are normally underestimated, but they have an incredible ability for the arts, they create the most crazy yet deep monologues.
These people tend to get obsessed over things they like, this is somewhat bad for them since they can get addicted to things like alcohol, tobacco, etc.
Talking about physical traits, Dazai is like the perfect definition of a Dionysus child, chill appearance, medium long hair, PURPLE HAIR, likes (maybe a little too much) alcohol, smooth voice.
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Sebastian : Demeter
Goddess of agriculture, fertility, nature, and seasons.
Children of Deméter have this motherly figure in their group of friends.
Natural protectors.
Great cooks
They can be really strict at scolding their friends, family etc. but they just want the best for their loved ones.
Children of Deméter aren’t really aggressive, but don’t get in their wrong side which would be trying to hurt their family, because they go havoc.
They have an amazing intuition, just like a good mother.
Their personalities are calm and collected, they may panic on the inside when something bad happens but never let it show.
Deméter children are so aware of the details they are the ones that give the best gifts since they know deeply their loved ones, what they like and what they don’t, again, like a good mother.
Faust: Hecate
Goddess of magic, witchcraft, ghosts, necromancy and crossroads.
Children of Hecate are really intelligent and have an amazing memory, after all they have to memorize dozens of spells.
They usually have lots of books, since they have to know the functionality and sources of the magic they are using.
CU RI O US
They may appear frightening since they face and aesthetic aren’t really welcoming sometimes, but they are actually pretty nice.
SNAKE PERSONALITY
cunning and ambitious
Children of Hecate know how to handle necromancy, which makes them closer to death, that’s why talking about this kind of topics doesn’t scare them.
Children of Hecate can be obsessive, they can stay all day and all night practicing their witchcraft, PLS SOMEONE TAKE THEM OUT OF THEIR ROOM.
They have a different type of aesthetic, maybe is not totally GOTH but there’s something religious or spiritual there, they believe that there is a superior power in the world.
Incredibly good teachers. They may not be as charismatic as Apollo kids, but they are patient and good listeners.
Calm but can be sadists too so be careful.
Vlad : Nemesis
Children of Nemesis, as their mother, tend to hold grudges and is really difficult for them to forget those who wrong them.
They can go ExTrEMe lengths in their revenge, elaborate plans that doesn’t matter how much time they take, they will do it.
Maybe scarier than Children of Ares.
Yandere personality who ?
They are really observant and intelligent, they have the ability to find Achilles ankle of any of their enemies.
Manipulative, that gives them the ability to awake rage on the ones they want like allies.
Curiously children of Nemesis have a strong sense of justice and balance, and they will do anything to carry on with their ideals, even if that means taking extreme measures.
Physically talking there’s always red on them, and I’m talking about red hair, liking for red color, and oh ! Look at that, who has red eyes ??
Charles : Tyche
Goddess of chance, fate and fortune.
I really had a hard time deciding for this one, and I don’t know a lot about him but from what I’ve seen I can say he’s a Tyche’s child.
Children of Tyche are extremely friendly and enthusiastic.
J O K E S
very hyperactive
Smarter than they look, observant and empaths, also they like to prank people like a pixie would do.
Pretty smiles, and they giggle like a lot.
Usually green eyes.
Obviously they like to gamble or if the other participants doesn’t like to, Children of Tyche conform with just playing
They love nature and animals.
A kid in an adult body
Don’t let their cute smiles, dimples or freckles fool you, they can be manipulative.
Idk why but I imagine Tyche kids with fairy like features, maybe that’s why lots of them have a short height.
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mymoonagedaydream · 3 years
Text
Lullaby
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Summary: You’d learned to live with your nightmares, never expecting to find any kind of remedy
Pairing: Bucky x y/n
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: Language, mentions of parent death
Author's Note: Back on it, ploughing through some lovely requests :)
---
You couldn’t believe it when you got the call.
Tony Stark had chosen you to be his new secretary, effective immediately.
Your flight to New York left the same day, but that wasn’t no issue at all, because you had very few belongings to pack and ever fewer goodbyes to say. No heartache or sentimentality, it was finally time to get away from your past and everything that reminded you of it.
Even though America was huge and bright and terrifying, it felt like your promised land, and you were eager to absorb every last drop of its mystifying beauty. You could barely stop yourself excitedly fidgeting in your plane seat.
Unfortunately, you’d greatly overestimated your capacity for adapting to sudden change. Your first day of work was really overwhelming.
You spent the entire morning just trying to familiarise yourself with the insanely complicated computer system, and a great deal of the afternoon doing the same, only getting a “break” during the hour or so you spent sitting in Tony’s meeting with Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes.
They were all huge, incredibly intelligent and intimidatingly attractive- you’d really been thrown right in at the deep end.
Steve and Sam didn’t take much notice of you, giving polite smiles when they arrived but nothing more than that. You figured that, with this workload, Stark probably cycled through a new secretary every couple of months, so they’d have no real reason to learn your name or engage you in conversation.
Bucky, on the other hand, seemed a little intrigued. You felt his gaze land on you a few times, but whenever you mustered the courage to look back, his eyes immediately flicked away.
It was unbelievably difficult to focus on note-taking whilst being repeatedly studied by this statuesque, mountain of a man.
It was also unbelievably difficult to shake him from your mind even after the meeting had ended. When you finally finished for the day, you were completely exhausted and ready to just collapse.
Thankfully, your bed was only an elevator ride away.
Stark had given you a bedroom in the compound while you were looking for an apartment in the city. You told him you were struggling to find a place you liked but, truthfully, there was no way you could afford a deposit until you got your first pay check through.
You whiled away the evening hours watching some crappy shows and reading, eventually bumbling through your night-time routine and slipping into bed, hoping so much that tomorrow would be just a little easier.  
---
A long, dark hallway stretched out before you. No doors, no windows, no turns, no end.
The soft padding of your bare feet against the ground echoed off the walls as your legs involuntarily marched into the darkness before you.
You focused more intently on the sound. It began to split, a distinct new set of footsteps detaching themselves and moving out of time with yours.
A cold wave of dread trickled down your spine. There was something behind you.
You couldn’t stop, couldn’t run, couldn’t turn. All you could do was carry on walking, forced to helplessly listen to the increasingly fast approach of your pursuer.
Hot, heavy breath brushed against the back of your neck. A set of long, dark claws crept their way into the corner of your vision, twitching manically, before clamping down on your shoulder.
‘Y/n!’
You bolted upright, eyes shooting open as you tried to gulp in deep breaths, heart thumping inside your chest like a jackhammer. Still struggling to separate the residual fragments of your nightmare from reality, you instinctively jerked away the hand firmly gripping your shoulder.
Bucky took the hint and stepped back from your bedside. ‘Are you alright?’
‘Jesus.’ You roughly wiped some of the cold moisture from your forehead. ‘Why the fuck are you in my room?’
‘I’m really sorry, I know this is weird but I heard you freaking out in here and I just wanted to make sure you were alright.’
Your gaze flicked towards him, the intense concern in his face confusing you a little.
He didn’t know you at all, why did he care?
You took a few deep breaths and collected your thoughts. Maybe cursing him out like that was a little harsh, he was just trying to help. Besides, if there was any face you wanted to shake you out of a nightmare, it was definitely that one.
‘I’m okay, thank you.’ You swung your legs over the side of the bed, perching yourself right on the edge as you shot him a faint smile. ‘I appreciate you checking up on me.’
‘Anytime.’
He lingered for a few seconds, rubbing his thighs nervously, before giving you a quick nod and heading back towards the corridor. Just as he reached your doorway, he paused, quickly spinning back around.
‘I’ll be in the living room for a while. Y’know, if you struggle to get back to sleep.’
You felt your smile grow into a wide, bashful grin as you watched him disappear down the hall. Your usual post-nightmare routine consisted of splashing cold water on your face and crying for an hour, so hanging out with Bucky was immeasurably preferable.
You debated how long you should wait before joining him, not wanting to miss an opportunity to get to know him better but also worried about coming across overly keen.
Ten minutes seemed reasonable.
Slipping on a sweater, you tiptoed past the other bedrooms on the corridor, hoping to god you wouldn’t wake any of the others and accidentally make a bunch of powerful enemies before you’d even spent your first night here.
Bucky was slouched on the sofa, watching TV with the volume so low that, at first, you thought it was muted. An open but untouched bottle of beer was standing on the table in front of him.
‘D’you have super hearing or something?’
His head snapped towards you, the corners of his mouth curling into a pleasantly surprised smile.
‘Something like that, yeah.’ He patted the seat next to him as he clicked the screen off. ‘There’s never anything worth watching on at this time anyway.’
‘You make it sound like you’re always awake at 4am.’
‘Mhmm. It’s nice to finally have some company.’
Chuckling weakly, you planted yourself next to him, as close as you could without invading his personal space. As soon as you were settled in, you felt him shift towards you.
‘You get nightmares often?’
‘Most nights since I was a kid.’ His mouth fell open slightly. ‘It sucks, but I’ve learned to live with it. They’re not nearly as bad as they used to be.’
‘Really? You were thrashing around like a fish out of water.’
Your face heated up a little when you noticed his playful smirk. ‘Trust me, that’s nothing. When I was eight I dislocated my aunt’s shoulder. Didn’t even wake up when she screamed.’
‘Jesus. You could’a warned me that I was risking my life earlier.’
‘Yeah, sorry. It’s just that, usually, people wait a few days after first meeting me before they come into my room while I’m asleep.’
He cocked a mischievous eyebrow at your teasing. ‘I’ll knock next time.’
‘Good plan.’
You pressed your hand to your mouth to stifle a deep yawn, feeling incredibly drowsy all of a sudden, like you could drift off right there on the couch. The adrenaline from your nightmare must’ve finally worn off, it just never usually happened so quickly.
‘You good?’ Bucky obviously noticed your abrupt decline. ‘You can rest on my shoulder, if you want. Not as comfy as a bed but I can give you a hard shake if you start freaking out again.’
‘Thanks, I’ll try my best not to.’
You didn’t want to intrude too far, so you just leaned over and perched your head on the very edge of his shoulder. Without missing a beat, he shifted himself towards you, causing your head to slide neatly into the crook of his neck.
‘Did they start for a reason?’ You didn’t answer right away, needing a second to figure out how best to word it. ‘It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it.’
‘No, I don’t mind. They pretty much started right after my parents died. They probably would’ve just stopped on their own after a while if I hadn’t had to move in with my aunt and uncle, pair of fucking assholes.’
He let a low chuckle escape his lips, sliding an arm around your shoulder and squeezing them lightly. ‘Well in that case I hope you did much more than dislocate her arm.’
‘I wish.’
You yawned again, unconsciously nestling your head further into Bucky’s neck and your body into his side, the soft motion of his hand stroking over your shoulder just making you all the more drowsy.
‘It’s alright, you can go to sleep.’ His soft, low voice was like a lullaby. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’ 
As your eyes fluttered closed, you felt your breathing fall in time with his, and you slowly drifted off into the most peaceful sleep you’d had in years.
---
It was a little embarrassing when Steve came across the two of you in the morning, fast asleep on the couch, tangled together like electrical wires. Bucky explained the situation, but Steve didn’t look too convinced by his tale of nightmares and innocent chat.
Even Tony gave you a knowing look as he walked past your desk.
This wasn’t exactly the reputation you’d hoped to build in your first week, but nothing that could’ve shaken your good mood that day. Every time you thought about the night before you couldn’t help grinning to yourself like an idiot.
You even felt more optimistic about your future in the job, everything just seemed so much more straightforward and intuitive.
It was incredible what a difference some good, deep sleep made.
As you were getting ready for bed that night, your heart jumped at the sound of a soft knock against your bedroom door. You inched it open to see Bucky, looking a little nervous, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his sweatpants.
‘Hey, I uh- I was just wondering-’ He paused for a second, narrowing his eyes at you slightly before chuckling and taking a step back. ‘Never mind, it was stupid.’
‘Go on. I promise I won’t laugh.’
You waited as he took a deep breath and steeled himself. ‘Well, I don’t know about you, but I slept better on that couch than I have in years. So I thought-’
‘Do you want to come in?’
You were a little surprised at how easily that’d fallen out of your mouth, and he looked pretty shocked too. ‘You sure?’
‘As long as you’re still willing to give me a cold, hard slap when necessary.’
He chuckled, nodding firmly. ‘I can definitely do that.’
You stepped aside and let him pass, quickly ducking your head into the corridor to check for witnesses before softly pushing your door closed.
After that night, you and Bucky fell into a routine of sneaking between bedrooms after everyone else had gone to sleep.
It was inexplicable, but the two of you just seemed to sleep so much better in each other's company. At first, Bucky had to wake you up and calm you down a couple times a night, but it really wasn’t long before you started sleeping through the night.
Between having him in your life, having your dream job and having the brand new feeling of being consistently well-rested, everything in your life finally felt like it was falling into place.
---
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ahopelessromantic · 4 years
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31% ➳ S. Reid
Pairing: Spencer x neutral! Reader (if I missed something please tell me!)
Word count: 2,4k
Warnings: Suggestive content, Spencer and reader really have the hots for each other
The nature of your friendship with Reid has been flirtatious from the start. So flirtatious that the team thinks it’s all a joke... right? (A/N: Please don’t ask me what this is. I wrote this in one sitting while suffering from PMS, I don’t even know anymore.)
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“Look at that walk.” Morgan chuckled to Emily for everyone but especially you to hear. You rolled your eyes, yet couldn’t help the smug grin on your face. Like girls in high school ready to hear the newest gossip your two colleagues and closest friends leaned over your desk. “You, sweetie, got laid.” You let out a happy sigh and leaned back in your chair. Last time you had been this relaxed had been… god, you couldn’t even remember it.
“What’s their name?” Emily grinned, stealing a sip of coffee from your mug. “And do they have a brother? Sister? Cousin?” You lifted your brow. “A respectable, decent human being like me doesn’t kiss and tell. But it’s a he. And he’s all mine.” Both Morgan and Emily lifted their eyebrows in surprise. “(Y/N)? Getting territorial? We love to see it.” Morgan teased. You squinted at him. “You know what? I loved flaunting my post-coital bliss in front of you, but quite frankly I’m starting to feel attacked now, so I’ll go hang out with Garcia.” Emily feigned a pout. “Come on! At least give us some details!” You just winked at her after getting up from your seat and disappeared down the hallway. On the way to Penelope’s office, you didn’t miss Spencer’s searing hot look on you, a hint of the same smug smile on his lips that had been on yours when you had entered the BAU this morning.
“(Y/N), this is bad. We’re breaking at least three policies just by being here together right now. Also, relationships between colleagues are rarely a good idea.” You chuckled and pressed another kiss to Spencer’s neck. “Then why does it feel so good, Spence? And, actually, workplace hookups are way more common thank you think. About 31% of them even end up in marriage.” “Are you using my own weapons against me right now? That’s hot.” He murmured and pulled you further into his lap. You looked down into his eyes, your gaze dropping to his lips momentarily before wandering back up again. There was just something about him that made you feel like you were on fire, as if an electric current ran between the two of you. You bit your lip and played with his tie. “You have to know how I feel whenever you’re spitting your facts at least once, too.” Your eyes met again, and then your lips were on his.
Spencer and you had gotten along like a house on fire from the day you had joined the BAU. Somehow the two of you had clicked right into place after just a short period of Spencer warming up to you. Before anyone could even tell what was happening you had become the team’s new dynamic duo. Your sharp wit matched his, and what he was too shy to say you spat right out. And that everlasting tension between you had been there from the beginning, too. It had almost cost you your sanity, the way the air in a room would change as soon as Spencer was in it, the way his mere presence made you want to either pounce on him or rip your lashes out. For a while, it had been enough to just bury that attraction where everyone could see it, in plain sight beneath heaps and heaps of slightly inappropriate flirting. Spencer would blurt out how your new heels gave you just the right height to make out with him, you would blurt out how you would like to see him in his glasses and nothing else. Everyone had taken your remarks as jokes, and you had always laughed with them. But there had never been anything funny about the shocks of electricity jolting through your fingers whenever your hands accidentally met or about the warmth seeping through you whenever you slept propped up against each other on the jet. All that tension had unloaded one day after an unusually hard case. Spencer and you had been taken hostage by an Unsub on a psychotic break, and it had only been due to luck and good timing that you had made it out alive. After debriefing, you had found yourself in an abandoned hallway of whatever precinct you had been in, and then your eyes had met. The look in them had been the same. Slightly frazzled, pupils still widened from the adrenaline pumping through your veins. You had both been so high on the incredibleness of still being alive that suddenly, you had decided to just fucking do what your body had been telling you to do for so long already. “I think I’m going to kiss you now.” You had breathed out, barely audible. Spencer had leaned against the wall behind him and lifted his chin as if he had been daring you to do it. “Okay.” He had whispered back. And then your lips had met in what you could swear had been the best kiss of your life. Your hands had tangled themselves in his hair as if they had been supposed to be there all along, and his hands had fit in the groove of your waist as if they had been made for it. Maybe you had both been made for each other.
“It looks like the unsub is citing the karma sutra.” JJ’s gaze wandered over the book excerpts up on the case board. “A sexual sadist maybe?” Spencer shook his head almost excitedly, a familiar gleam in his eyes which he got whenever a case was particularly interesting to him. “See, that’s the interesting part. 80% of the karma sutra is actually just love-related philosophy and how to sustain desire. There is no sexual component to his murders, so I think he might either be trying to throw us off or create some sort of bizarre scavenger hunt.” While chewing on one of the fries Emily had brought you all for dinner you let your eyes wander over the pictures of sex positions and quotations on the board, then to the copy of the book lying right in front of Spencer on the table. “Well, it’s definitely an interesting choice to make for a book. Spence, you’ll keep it memorised for later, right?” You spoke, mostly out of habit. Spencer winked at you in response and Morgan choked on his burger. “There’s people eating here!” He spluttered out, pointing at Hotch, who looked like he wanted to die, and Rossi, who was watching the scene unfold with an amused smile on his face. All he was missing was a bucket of popcorn to match the level of detachment he was displaying. Prentiss just laughed and turned her attention to you. “(Y/N), does your boyfriend know about your workplace flirting buddy?” She knew exactly what she was doing, a mischievous glint in her eyes. You felt your face fall for the split of a second but immediately regained your composure. “Nice try, honey. I’m still not telling you about him. Also, for what it’s worth, he’s not the jealous type. So he doesn’t mind.” You deliberately avoided Spencer’s gaze, praying to whichever deities out there that you weren’t blushing.
Later that evening, back in your apartment, you could tell that something was on Spencer’s mind. He had taken some paperwork home that, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t have taken him longer than an hour. But it had been two and a half hours already, and the subconscious mumbling he only did when he was extremely anxious set you off. “Spence, baby, are you okay?” You had been his roommate for long enough to know that he needed someone to be there in moments like these. The two of you sharing an apartment had been a decision for practicality’s sake more than anything. You had slept over at each other’s apartments half of the time before that anyway, and this way, you were even able to save up some more to hopefully soon buy the house of your dreams. The team probably didn’t even know about the two of you living together, and if they knew, they had probably just added it to the list of weird things Spencer and you did. Spencer hadn’t even heard, and it took you placing your hand on his shoulder for him to return to reality. He looked up at you with a conflicted look, his eyes horribly sad. “Are you alright?” You asked again, sitting down next to him. He nodded and closed the case file he had been working on with a sigh. “I’m okay. I just keep on thinking about what Prentiss said.” You frowned. Emily tended to say a lot of things in just one day. “Back in the conference room. The…” He trailed off to take a deep breath. “The boyfriend thing.” You were still looking at him in confusion. “Am I?” “What?” You asked stupidly. Apparently, your brain had suffered a sudden case of non-functionality. You could feel his frustration get even worse. “Am I your boyfriend, (Y/N)?”, Spencer finally explained for you to catch on. Suddenly, a laugh escaped your lips. “Well, I mean I hope so.” Now it was he who looked like his mind was failing him. “I mean, to be honest, I hadn’t really properly thought about it, but I definitely bragged about my hot, intelligent FBI boyfriend to my friends from high school. So, I guess it would be really nice if you actually were. I mean, I think I haven’t slept in my own bed in weeks.” A smile had spread across Spencer’s face, a light pink hue dusting his cheeks. “I uh… I described you as my partner in the letters to my mom, too. I didn’t know how else to describe it to her. Because I … I guess I was hoping that this wasn’t just us sleeping together from the start. I trust you, (Y/N), more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. And I like having you by my side.” Not able to stop yourself, you closed the distance between the two of you to press your lips to his. Keeping your relationship with Spencer undefined for any longer than that would have been a huge waste of potential.
Somehow, you had always expected that Spencer would one day expose the two of you by taking it too far with your flirting. He hadn’t been all too experienced with dating, sex and everything beyond that before you, that was something he had told you himself once after a few glasses of your favourite red wine. But what you really hadn’t expected was running into Emily in an IKEA, of all places. Ever since once and for all defining your relationship you had moved into his bedroom for good, which left room for creativity in your old room. The two of you had been walking around the furniture store hand in hand, Spencer with a potted plant already under his arm, when you’d suddenly heard Emily calling out your name. If it hadn’t been for Spencer’s hand firmly in yours you would have booked it down the aisle of Malm closets, but this way all you could do was turn around with a deliberately composed expression. “Hi, Em.” You smiled as if you hadn’t just run into your colleague slash best friend while holding the hand of your also colleague, slash boyfriend. Prentiss looked like she was trying to make sense of the situation, her eyes fleeting back and forth between you and Spencer. “Is this something you do now? Hold hands and buy plants together?” You had to suppress a laugh and almost pitied her for her confusion. Spencer was forcing himself not to smile as well, swaying your still intertwined hands back and forth. “It’s not a big deal Emily, we just need some things for our apartment.” Her eyes looked just about ready to pop out of her skull at that. “Your apartment?! (Y/N), what about your boyfriend- oh.” Her eyes widened even more if that was even possible. “OH!” She almost yelled, and now you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips anymore. “No one will ever believe you.” You grinned, pressed a kiss to her cheek and pulled Spencer back to your shopping cart with you.
The next day, Emily sat at her desk with her head in her hands when Spencer and you entered the bullpen. She looked positively traumatised and now you were all the more glad that you had bought her a breakfast muffin on the way to work. “Hey, Em.” You greeted her hesitantly, you tone causing Morgan to look up from his screen. He always immediately knew when something was off. “So, Spencer, huh?” She mumbled instead of a greeting, mustering the two of you up and down. It wasn’t abnormal for the two of you to constantly be glued to each other’s sides, but now she was probably starting to see that from a whole new perspective. You could hear Morgan get up and trip over his chair in his haste to get to Emily’s desk, but your whole focus was on her at that moment. You smiled. “Yup. Don’t ask me how, or why, but I’m sure about him. He’s also just really fucking attractive.” At that, she laughed, and Spencer pouted playfully. “You only like me for my body, (Y/N).” You rolled your eyes and nudged him with your elbow. “I’m trying to make a point here, honey. But yeah, it’s Spence, and I’m happy it’s him.” “You know, I feel like I should probably be more surprised by this, but it’s not really much of a change from the way you behaved already. Kinda saw it coming.”, Morgan finally spoke up, and you couldn’t be more grateful to him for being so cool about the whole situation. “Aren’t you guys worried about the pressure of all of this? You know, workplace romances and everything?” Emily mused. Somehow, she had already switched back into concerned friend mode. But much to your surprise it was Spencer who spoke up and pulled you closer to his side with an arm around your waist. “Someone once told me that workplace romances are actually really common and that 31% of them even end in marriage.” You felt the biggest smile grow on your face and turned to look him in the eyes. “I don’t really know anything, about any of this. But I trust (Y/N), and I trust what we have. I’m just hoping that maybe we’ll be up in those 31%.” You couldn’t help it. You just had to press a kiss to his cheek for that. “I’m hoping for that, too.” You mumbled. Despite Morgan’s and Emily’s theatrical gagging at your public display of affection, you couldn’t help but feel like this was a significant moment. You were really doing this. And boy, were you serious about it.
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artificialqueens · 3 years
Text
(Wo)men in Glass Houses (Branjie) - Pinkgrapefruit
A/N - now my yearly october to january hibernation is over, have a fanfiction. read by ortega and jaz and quite frankly neither of them found anything glaringly wrong with it so… enjoy lads. i swear i’ll post something of more substance soon.
I’ve been sleeping late
And if I’m speaking honestly
My dreams are the only place
The thought of you can’t bother me
Vanessa is on her back - eyes piercing holes in the ceiling. It’s white, as most ceilings are, wood chipped and bumpy. There’s a coffee-coloured stain that jeeps drawing her eyes but she’s too scared to ask how it got there. If she’s honest, she doesn’t want to know.
Her bedmate is still fast asleep or is at least doing a good job of pretending, and it’s giving Vanessa too much time to think. Her immediate thought - the one that breaks through the carefully constructed walls at the edge of her mind - is how she wishes she wasn’t awake at all. She wants to be asleep again, running through the fields of spring flowers near her childhood home in Yorkshire, blissfully unaware of the mistake sleeping next to her.
She loathes to call Brooke a mistake - but there aren’t any other words.
The covers are soft between her fingertips and her pillow smells of eucalyptus and mint and it brings her back to her train of thought. They were never meant to happen. It’s simple really, the relationship was never meant to happen. They’re a square peg in a round hole who’s too ashamed to admit it and is therefore trying to pretend it doesn’t have any corners at all and the point is - they don’t fit.
Coffee and cheese. Milk and sriracha. Piers Morgan and drag queens. No entiendo por favor. 
(She truly does not understand).
They’ve been trying to change each other and like an elastic band, Vanessa just wants to snap back to how she was. She enjoyed her lazy Sundays with Riley, drowning last nights hangover in coffee just long enough to make it to brunch with Kiki and Silky. She misses her half-hearted gym sessions where she’d piss about with resistance bands and yoga balls in the studio off the side before actually doing some hip hop dancing and calling it a night. She hasn’t seen a shitty action film in months and, dare she say it, she misses bad nacho cheese.
She’s not the only one whos made ill-fated sacrifices - she can admit that - Brooke hasn’t been working late, misses her morning runs most days and only drinks chamomile when Vanessa isn’t at her house because the brunette says it smells like old people.
Drink your old people tea, Vanessa thinks in a more scathing tone than she would dare say out loud because it’s before six am and she’s in a worse mood than she thought. She looks at Brooke - her blonde hair splayed on the pillow like a halo. Fucking drink it.
And when I’m wide awake
It takes all of my energy
To tell our friends we’ve never been this happy
The thing about breakups - is if you know they’re coming, you can watch them in slow motion like a train crash. 
A’keria has been watching this one for months. 
It’s the sort of ‘watch and wait’ scenario that leaves her grabbing the popcorn and tucking herself into the sofa with a blanket her nan crocheted and she’s not mad about it. 
So she watches the relationship go up in flames and wonders how either of them thought it would be a good idea to act on the sexual tension that’s been threading around them for years and she privately thinks that maybe she should have just set Vanessa up with her sister to save the trouble. 
Because climate change has moved faster than these idiots. 
Waiting for the glass house to come down
Waiting to hear that crashing sound
Waiting for the right words to tell you how
I don’t wanna be false art
They move around each other in their perfectly choreographed morning routine - not a word is spoken but they are both fed, watered and ready to go when they need to begin their walk to the office. 
Their fingers are intertwined but it’s more of a perfunctory gesture than it used to be. Vanessa grabs Brooke’s hand somewhere between the offices for Walkers and Harveys. She always does.
With Brooke in a maxi dress, she looks more like a model than a lawyer and it allows Vanessa to exercise her possessive streak when a builder catcalls. They kiss bruisingly in the disabled stall before they head to their respective offices - frustrated before 9 am.
When A’keria asks how Vanessa is doing - she lifts the edge of her shirt to show the hickey embedded into her hip.
I’ve been making shit up
But I’ll come clean
I finish in the bathroom
While you fall asleep without me
Brooke stays in the bathroom after sex. 
She washes herself slowly and thoroughly, as though any hint of mint shampoo left on her body would be a sin. (Brooke’s shampoo is lemon because she refuses to make her hair smell like toothpaste).
She cannot deal with post-coital cuddling today - the image of another person in her bed just too much to accept in the waning light of day. So she performs her nighttime routine twice to make sure that the summer sun has set entirely by the time she is back in the bedroom. It allows her to slide under the covers in the dark and pretend she is alone - if not for the steady exhales of Vanessa.
She is not right for Vanessa. 
The brunette deserves romance and wooing and all Brooke can give is detached sex in bathrooms and bitter black coffee. 
There are things she needs to unpack. A box of memories in her wardrobe that will sting more, the longer she leaves them hidden away. 
She cannot love herself with enough fervour to love Vanessa.
They both know it. 
So she suckles bruises onto her collarbone and calls it adoration.
And our friends they say they want this
But they don’t see
That it’s inevitable
And inevitably
“God, I want what you two have. It’s practically a romcom - friends to lovers.”
It’s harmless, just Courtney simpering as she heads towards the bar set up on the corner of the room but it makes Vanessa dig her nails into her palms so hard she worries she might break the skin. 
Brooke sidles up to her - cold lithe fingers wrapping around her waist as she leans down to whisper in Vanessa’s ear. 
“Bathroom, five minutes,” she whispers and then she’s gone.
Vanessa marvels at the way people interpret things they don’t understand. To most people - the blush that’s threatening to flutter across the apples of her cheeks is in response to a declaration of love, or a flirtation between sweethearts. 
They can never know the detached but furious way Brooke will make Vanessa come undone while the brunette is leaning against the sink - faucet poking into the small of her back. The way she will nip red marks into the flesh of her inner thigh and then later into her bottom lip - Vanessa’s tongue carrying out its own assault on Brooke’s mouth.
For all the ways the forced romance has ruined them  - the sexual tension is as thick as the day they first met.
The glasshouse to come down
Just waiting to hear that crashing sound
Waiting for the right words to tell you how
I don’t wanna be false art
Like a fairytale - their eyes met across a crowded room and that was it.
That is, of course, a lie - but it’s how they tell it.
In reality, Brooke had just moved to London from Devon and she’s booked an interview at the firm Vanessa worked HR for. Vanessa took her paperwork, A’keria noticed the spark, Brooke got the job.
They mistook sexual chemistry for romance and by the time they’d figured it out they were four months into a relationship of convenience.
Vanessa has always thought that friends with benefits was a ridiculous arrangement but men in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones and isn’t this just the kind of relationship she always scorned. 
Acquaintances that share bodily fluids, a bed and invites to dinner. Someone to share secrets with and hold hands on the way to work. Someone to watch sleep in the early hours of the morning and cuddle you when you’re drunk and lonely. 
Vanessa is, too often, drunk and lonely.
It’s a habit she intends to break.
Pretend we’re picture perfect
When we’re breaking beneath the surface
I don’t wanna be false art
They break up on a Sunday and finally, Vanessa can agree it’s a day of peace.
It can hardly be considered a breakup from her perspective - the only emotions left to untangle are Vanessa’s towards Brooke’s cats. It’s cold, clean and incredibly reminiscent of Brooke herself - cold, clean, perfect. 
Icy.
In a twenty minute sweep of her apartment - every hint of the tall blonde is gone. 
Make love like we deserve it
To cover up what’s hurting
I don’t wanna be false art
She makes a cup of coffee, inhaling the scent that reminds her so vividly of university and youth, and drinks it by her window. She plays her music loud.
She refuses to have any regrets.
I don’t wanna be false art
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bybdolan · 3 years
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ohh god you're so right,, the "taylor swift isn't gay music" feels like a 2020 form of the old unjustified taylor hate and like, as a queer swiftie myself it's forced me to unfollow quite a few people because just seeing 1 post like that would send me in a spiral where i would question my sexuality and wonder if i'm a valid member of the lgbtq+ community. i mean most of that is probably my anxiety but it's not good nevertheless,, her music is gay if gay people want to listen to it? not that deep
I thought about making a post about it literally 10 minutes ago but decided against it because I don't want to dive into that controversy hddfv but here we are!
To be fair, I think the root of that sentiment isn't just the classic sexist Taylor Swift hate, but also the fact that for a good chunk of her career she was the boy-crazy, good country/pop girl and I assume that if you were a gay teen in 2012-2015 the girls who bullied you for your sexuality likely were Taylor Swift fans. A good chunk of Taylor's fanbase was and is still quite homophobic and racist, and that can be incredibly off-putting when those are the kinds of people who made you suffer at a young age. Plus: If you didn't care much about Taylor and/or happened to follow people who have an unfavorable opinion of her, YNTCD was the first time she appeared to be an ally and I do kind of understand why the song and video struck some people as very performative. Of course, the hate she got prior to that ALWAYS plays into how people perceive her, but I still feel like there is a bit more to it in this particular case, given the state of Taylor's fanbase in her pop starlet prime.
All that being said: The statement is incredibly dumb in the sense that every gay person decides for themselves what gay people music is. If you are gay and relate to Taylor Swift, she is gay people music. It's simple. The whole idea of claiming or not claiming certain artists or pieces of media in online LGBT+ spaces is so detached from reality. Nobody is going to stop being homophobic towards you once they find out you like Taylor Swift. Gay people who hate Taylor Swift and gay people who love Taylor Swift face the same amount of homophobia in the real world. Not to be like "go outside!!!" but... Go outside? At the end of the day the LGBT+ community is supposed to be a safe space and it's baffling to me that people get into discourse about the tiniest things.
I'm also very sorry that the topic is affecting you this much :( Sending you a lot of love.
[Don't rb please, this kind of online discourse isn't great for me mentally.]
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cherryartemis0 · 4 years
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Twisted Wonderland Fusions
Here are the twisted wonderland fusions I have made. I haven't gotten many requests, so these are essentially the ones I felt passionate about drawing out. All of them have new first names, a middle name, and a family name. I'll be sure to think of VAs. So, here we go.
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Orpheus Draconia Shroud
Orpheus - Went to the underworld to retrieve his love after she died. Sounds like Ortho and Malleus too.
He's officially in Diasomnia, but he has the intelligence and mechanical abilities of Ignihyde. He is an android built by a genius engineer infused with powerful magic. To summarize him, he's very kind and sweet. He wants to make friends, but he's rather shy, and whenever he can muster up the courage to talk to others, they run away. He gets sad easily (Luckily he wasn't built with artificial tear ducts). He tends to take his emotions out on the sky by using his laser beam. He's also quick to use his technology to solve problems of any kind.
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Vidar Ashengrotto Schoenheit
Vidar - Son of Odin and means "Quiet God"
Vidar is officially in Pomefiore, but he has the smarts and generosity of Octavinelle. He is a very beautiful individual and incredibly strong to match. He's the dorm leader of Pomefiore as well. Vidar is from a very noble family in the Land of Pyroxene, and has a reputation for coming from a family of entertainers. His mother was a model now an actress, his father was an actor now a big time director and screen writer, and his sister is an idol in training. Vidar is expected to enter the entertainment industry. While he's not that interested, he's got no other plans, so he's going for singer since he likes it and takes it seriously. To sum him up, Vidar is a beautiful, intelligent individual to the point of earning him the nickname "The King of Knowledge." He's sort of humble about his iq, but he subtly changes the topic of conversation to be about him. He is always willing to help others study for tests and quizzes, but only if they really need it. Otherwise, he'll tell them "Have you ever heard of note taking and self studying?" or "You know time management is a thing, right?" He's the one everyone goes to for school help, but he won't help if he knows they're looking for the easy way out through him and his perfect notes. Will low-key judge others for doing poorly as a result of their poor studying and/or time management.
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Lazuli Vanrouge Ashengrotto
Lazuli - Named for the blue gemstone. Symbol of royalty, honor, gods and power, spirit, wisdom, and truth.
Lazuli is officially in Octavinelle but has the elegance and magic strength of Diasomnia. Lazuli is a vampire squid mermaid from the deeper waters in the Sea of Coral. He embraces his name of a vampire squid and tries to act like the stereotypical land vampire as much as he can. He likes to scare others, hang upside down, use levitation to fly a little, but he can't go high. Ironically, he hates anything with tomatoes. He loves the dark. He does everything in the dark, homework, Web surfing, gaming, that's why he has glasses on land. To sum him up, Lazuli is a social vampire butterfly. He always needs to be around others since he was always alone under the sea. It was dark, cold, and not many of the few other mermaids tried to approach him because of his scary appearance. He's also a prankster. He's musically talented, so he'll wake the entire dorm up at 6 in the morning with his electric guitar. Even if it's the weekend. Waking up early means more productivity. Instead of serving tables at Mostro, he does background music on the piano (he plays all forms of guitar, piano, violin, drums, and the flute).
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Arthur Rosesuit
Arthur - Reference to King Arthur. Noble and Courageous. Could be "stone" for Irish gaelic, or "bear" for Celtic.
Rosesuit - Rose from "Rosehearts." Do I have to explain "suit?" Actually, did I have to explain this name at all?
Arthur is officially in Heartslabyul and is the dorm leader. He's the heir of a noble family from the Kingdom of Roses. His family is one of the leading noble families, and they are famous for their books of spells. Each member of the family writes one book of spells they create themselves. The spells can range from pointless to useful to combat. Arthur is in the middle of writing his book, but he prefers to cook and/or bake goodies. He's that one person who always has snacks in his bag in case others are happy. Is a top to student of his year and tries to follow as many rules as possible. He's always reminding everyone of the rules. If they continue to break the same rules, he gives them extra chores to do. As a sign of their punished status, he gives them collars. To sum him up, Arthur is usually very lenient when it comes to rules. He's always seen lecturing others at the dorms and reminding them of rules. He is the leading type and can be rather bossy when it comes to organizing things. While he has a simple relationship with the dorm members, it's just the dorm leader dorm member relationship. Arthur doesn't like people getting in his way, so he does his own work alone in his room. When he's not in his room, he's either in the kitchen making something or helping paint the roses red in the Rose Maze. He's a perfectionist, so he'll point out anything he sees as anything less than perfect in his eyes, often making others do things again until he seems it passable.
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Siraj Viper Al-Asim
Siraj - A Middle Eastern name for "light"
Siraj is officially in Scarabia and is the dorm leader. He is the heir to the incredibly wealthy Al-Asim family and tries hard to maintain his family's powerful name. His hair is dark, but you can see small faints of rainbow colors in it when the sun hits him the right way. It's such an iconic image for him that people call him "the Sunbeam Snake of Scarabia." Doesn't help that his vermilion eyes look dead and detached from reality. To sum him up, Siraj is the silent stoic type. He doesn't talk unless directly addressed. When he does talk, it's monotonous, but he does show emotion. Usually anger or disappointment. He's very prone to anger, but he's rather explosive because of bottled up emotions. He does a lot of stress cooking, so he ends up cooking for the entire dorm when that happens. He's a decent student, but he studies hard to be a top student.
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Senna Felmier Vanrose (Probs my favorite)
Senna - A lot of meanings, but they all fall along the line of "apple" or some kind of apple tree.
Senna is officially in Diasomnia, but he has the strictness of Heartslabyul and the hard working qualities of Pomefiore. He's Diasomnia's vice dorm leader, but he tries to act like a dorm leader. He's well known around the dorm for his young and beautiful appearance. He's known as "The Glass Rose of Diasomnia." Of course, he's no glass doll. His magic is very powerful and he's fae but ssshhh, no one needs to know that yet. He loves the Internet. He loves makes his own videos, and even has his own VTuber avatar named Viscount Black Rose. To sum him up, Senna is a bit of a theatre kid. He's dramatic, social, sarcastic, prone to snarky mood swings, and rather sassy. Not the personality many would expect from someone so cute and in the elegant Diasomnia. Well, that's only part of him. He just likes to be more true to his "wild" side. Senna has the ability to do a complete face turn and be the elegant diasomnia representative he wants to be. He'll usually use that persona for fancy events like the Opening Ceremony or a Ball. But as soon as he's back in the dorm, he's back to the sassy vice dorm leader. His snarky attitude transfers over to his role as vice. He makes sure to keep everyone in line, almost acting like a drill sergent (but less yelling). Of course, he doesn't have to worry about anyone doing something stupid, but he's always looking out to make sure no one was hurting others, talking trash, or abusing their power. Senna is a student, but he's balancing school work with his side hobby/side job as a VTuber. He gets extra money, he talks to others with similar interests, and he can occasionally play games.
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tptruepolitics · 4 years
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LGBT Thoughts
Netflix has recently decided to push transgender ideologies in their Babysitters Club series – a show directed at adolescent girls. While Netflix – an independent company that should only have to answer to itself and its shareholders – is perfectly within their rights to air such shows, the fact remains that this is a deeply damaging topic to be showcasing to the most vulnerable and malleable among us. I think it’s time we finally address the enormous elephant in the room: the LGBT community. Here I will break down my thoughts on their rights, their roles, and their realities in our society.
For much of history, there have been documented incidences of same-sex encounters. Even the Bible makes reference to same-sex relations numerous times. The word sodomy is actually originated from one such text from Genesis in reference to the city of Sodom. Shakespeare is even rumored to have been gay by some scholars. However, for most of human existence, these individuals were forced to live in secret – outcasts of society, ostracized by their own people. To be perfectly fair, religious extremism has only contributed to the past 2-4 thousand years of ridicule. Before that, it was still frowned upon (at best) by most cultures simply because it went against the laws of nature. Male and female animals and even plant parts reproduce in union with one another. There are no same-sex reproductive organisms to my knowledge (correct me if I’m wrong). There are asexual organisms that reproduce by themselves, but certainly no major animal species that reproduce in any extraordinary way. There is a certain species of bird, I believe, that lives in Hawaii (once again, correct me if I’m wrong) that sometimes chooses a same-sex partner for life in the absence of a proper mate, but this is certainly an exception, not a rule. To add, they do not reproduce together.
But what does all this mean for humans? How should the “laws of nature” or even God’s laws apply to humans in this age of constant progressivism and an increasing detachment from religiosity that we call secularism? Well, thankfully, in our country and many around the world we are allowed the freedoms to live our lives as we see fit as long as they don’t infringe on the rights and liberties of others. So, if someone chooses to live outside the bounds of religious or natural laws, they certainly should be allowed to, as long as they are minding their own business. This concept of allowing homosexuality was highly contested up until the late 20th century, and is still somewhat contested today in 2020. The original founders felt that upholding moral and ethical truths in our school systems were an integral part of maintaining our precious union. As a matter of fact, the often-misrepresented “separation of church and state” clause did not mean that religion could not be learned about in schools, but that the federal government had no right to establish a State religion (capital S). Most of the founders actually encouraged religious teachings and values in schools. The more modern interpretations of the separation of church and state are due to an influx of not only secular ideologies, but also religious beliefs that were not prevalent during the time of our founding. While I am a firm believer that no harm can come from learning about religious values in schools, in this age of progressivism it is reasonable to note that certain contentious religious principles need not be forced upon others. This would be a clear infringement of the separation of church and state.
So, to get specific, let’s talk homosexuality. A common misconception in the eyes of secularists is that the Church (I’ll speak specifically about Catholicism here) preaches that homosexuality is a sin – that simply being gay is a sin against God. Well, this isn’t true. The Church expressly teaches that acting out homosexual fantasies is a sin. Let’s say, you are a man who is attracted to other men, but in your devotion to your religion, you find a woman whom you love, marry her, and live your life without having sex with another man. Is this man sinful, because he finds men attractive? Of course he is not! When you feel like strangling someone, but then you calm down and don’t, are you guilty of murder? No. So, simply being gay is not a sentence to Hell. As a matter of fact, even in the eyes of the Church, acting on your homosexual impulses isn’t a death sentence. There is reconciliation and forgiveness in the eyes of the Lord. If you confess your sin and repent for it, you are seen as forgiven. Not to mention, there are people who sin in every aspect of life: liars, swindlers, thieves, murderers – and I’m not even just talking about big sins. Small sins add up, and if you are not repentant of them, you are not any more likely to get to Heaven. However, I will paraphrase this, but I believe there is a Scripture saying that says you will be judged by your worst qualities. So, if you work hard your whole life to be a good Christian, and your only flaw is that you are a wonton whore, a light will be shown on this most vulnerable area.
You might be thinking to yourself, “but it’s a genetic mutation that causes some people to like members of the same sex. God would not have built natural urges in us if he didn’t want us to act on them.” Well, that’s just ridiculous. We have natural urges and desires that are built into us that we are meant to fight off all the time: anger, greed, and jealousy to name a few. Lust is just one more urge that is built into our nature, and it happens to come in all shapes and sizes. Our animalistic desire is not only to have as much sex as possible, but to have it with as many things as possible. Evidence of this is your dog, if you have one. Dogs will regularly hump humans due to a natural urge they have. Should the dog be doing this? Should humans all of a sudden be accepting of bestiality? Maybe don’t answer that one. Now that I’ve gotten a bit off topic, I’ll try to bring this all back. Yes, acting on your homosexual desires is a sin in many Christian churches. However, your homosexuality does nothing to harm me or my church, and as such, I believe firmly that if you wish you act on those temptations, you should be legally allowed to.
Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual peoples should not be deprived of their right to happiness, which can include uniting themselves in lawful union. That being said, I would like to advocate for an alteration in the name of the union. With the full rights, advantages and privileges of a married male and female couple, I would like to revoke the name “gay marriage” and return to the previously used “civil union” terminology. Marriage is a religious term that has been secularized over decades to include all unions whether inside or outside of a church between a man and a woman. I propose that all unions made outside of the boundaries of a religious ceremony be labeled civil unions, reserving the term marriage to those unions made within the boundaries of a religious ceremony. Civil unions will differ from Marriages in name only as to lay to rest the disagreements of many over this divisive issue. Thus, men and women, women and women, and men and men united solely by a judge will no longer be “married” but “united”. Those churches that allow gay marriages in their communities are by no means precluded from including them or precluded from calling them whatever they wish. However, legally, in the eyes of the state, a same-sex couple “married” in their churches will be viewed as “united” under the law. This is a semantic issue, as opposed to a legal issue. The semantics are clearly important on this issue and have been increasingly becoming more important as time goes on. I may not feel it is right to legally prevent people from enjoying their lives in whatever manners they please, but I do feel it is within my purview to define terms in order to ease tensions.
With regards to the transgender community, I have immense sympathy and respect for your feelings. Feeling like you don’t fit into the gender roles that your biology dictates can be frustrating, confusing and upsetting. I know. During my high school years, I often noted to myself that I had feminine characteristics that I didn’t understand. In some ways, I felt that I didn’t share many of the masculine interests of my friends. However, because I was surrounded by many fine men who were very accepting of my differences, I never felt that I didn’t belong with them. Here is the reality of the situation. Many people are not surrounded by these positive influences, and thereby feel that they need to re-identify themselves in order to fit into their social environments. This is not the case. Acceptance, toleration and understanding are the keys to solving this problem. Our attention with regard to the gender debate should be redirected towards Gender Stereotypes. At one point, I was under the impression that we were heading in the right direction. In a very enlightening high school class, I was challenged to think about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. When I did this, I came up with many gender stereotypes that not only did not describe many of my peers, but also did not describe myself. Instead of concluding that I did not belong to my gender, however, I concluded that the stereotypes were the crux of the inconsistencies. At one point in history, gender roles were necessary for survival – the strong (men) went on the hunt, and the tender (women) cared for the children. They were important distinctions. This is not the case anymore! Over time, as technology and society developed to the point where strict gender roles were no longer necessary, women’s rights and roles in society began to change. This was a good thing and is a testament to how incredible our society has been for the less advantaged. These roles still play a part in our daily lives and still affect who we are, but they do not define us exclusively. Take Apples for example. The stereotype of an Apple is a red, juicy, sweet fruit. However, there are apples that are yellow, juicy and sweet. There are also apples that are green, juicy and tart. Is the yellow apple a mango now? Is the green apple a lime? No, their genetics limit them to the fruitful existence that they are. Nevertheless, biology dictates what type of fruit they are and not their characteristics; their characteristics don’t change the underlying biology.
To solve the issue of gender, some people on the progressive aisle have attempted to remove gender. I instead propose to remove the stereotypes/roles! This of course leads to inconsistencies in the Pride movement as a whole. For example, an exclusively lesbian woman might marry another woman who decides later that she is a man. Is this first woman heterosexual now, or should she be upset and betrayed and break off the marriage? Are you confused yet? This removal of gender is not only confusing to adults, but it’s confusing to children, and for them, it is dangerous. When you pose a child with the option to choose his/her gender identity, they will ask you what the differences are. Your response will undoubtedly be gender stereotypes. You are doing no one any favors by perpetuating these gender roles. The child will treat this as something fun, like a game. However, once you begin to treat it as something serious, the child will begin to treat it seriously. This is what major networks and schools and parents are beginning to do. Once you begin to treat your child as if they are not their biological sex, they will begin to accept that reality, more so to please you than anything else. This could have unimaginable consequences on their sense of self later in life, which could lead to self-esteem issues, learning disabilities, depression or worse. And making life-altering changes to your children i.e. long-term gender therapy, hormone treatments, or surgeries could permanently hurt them mentally and physically.
Conversely, if your little boy tells you one day that he is a girl, tell him, “No, you’re not a girl, you’re a boy. As a boy, you can be whoever you want to be, like whatever you want to like, and all of those characteristics will make you who you are.” If you tell your little boy that, there is an increased likelihood that he will have a more accepting view of others who are different from him, and will have a more positive outlook of himself. You can be a man who loves to sew, wear frilly clothing, and fixes his own car. You can be a woman who lifts weights, works on a construction site, and watches soap operas. They are not mutually exclusive. This also includes those members of our communities that wish to fully engage in their historical gendered roles. Women, who want nothing but to read, write, sew, be homemakers, and do the multitude of other activities that are considered feminine, should not be shamed into thinking that their choices are not valuable, are backwards, or are in anyway damaging to womanhood. Women who have no interest in science should not be shamed into believing that their lives are a waste and that they are giving in to the patriarchal oppression of women. This is not productive. Similarly, this standard applies to men, who should not be shamed into thinking that jobs that only use their hands are not worthy of respect because they do not require a college education. They should not be shamed into the common misconception that men are brutes, only caring about power and control. Men who are not interested in fashion design or cleaning are not uncreative or lazy. All humans have different interests and strengths.
The characteristics we have as human beings are largely taught to us. Generosity is taught, openness is taught. Negative things, as well: greed, sloth – they are learned. Selfishness is a learned characteristic. As a society, we have failed our younger generations. Parents, teachers, the government, and the media have all failed. To teach a child that they are so important that they have the ability to defy nature and choose their gender breeds self-centeredness and pride beyond compare. How selfish of us, how pompous! We are not that important. We are not able to create our own meaning. Our meaning is a gift bestowed upon us by a higher power. Who or what that higher power is, is for each and every man and woman to decide on their own, but a society based on the premise that they determine their own worth is doomed to fail because it is founded on the ideal that the self is the most important entity. This is not to contradict our founding principles concerning the individual. Those principles concern how government should act in relation to its people. The concept of self-importance, to which I’m referring, concerns how individuals view themselves and act in spite of the government.
 So, no, I don’t think that Netflix or schools should be teaching students, especially against the wills of their parents, that being a boy when you’re a girl or vice versa is acceptable. We should not be teaching children that biology can just be ignored. If we allowed this aspect of biology to be ignored, other aspects of biology may be ignored in the future (like age!). Nor do I think that sexual preference should be celebrated in public schools. This goes against the separation of church and state in a different manner, because teaching children that their religious observances of sin are incorrect is a direct interference with the practice of a religion. This would be a world where secularism becomes the state religion and that would be no more acceptable than some form of theism. Have no shame for who you are, but don’t put down other peoples’ views to make yourself feel better. Respect should be taught of all our children before they leave the home for school.
Here is my final message. Acceptance of self, love of one another, and understanding of our differences, should reign supreme.
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ariannjs · 4 years
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KARIN | A SasuSaku FanFic (10/10)
(Karin - Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9)
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Hey guys! It's been a whiiiiile! I'm so sorry that I'm just uploading this now. To be honest, this epilogue has been finished since last August but idk I felt quite afraid to post it that I totally forgot all about it@.@ Nonetheless, here it isss! Accck I'm shy! HAHA. But here's a late New Year and Valentine's Gift to you all, SS fam!
Thank you for journeying with me as I wrote my very first multi-chaptered SasuSaku fic! I am extremely grateful for all of your encouraging comments on this and all my other works. 2019 has been really difficult but I praise God because this writing journey became highly therapeutic for me that it led me to meeting more SS fans as well! So yeah, Arigatou Gozaimashita!
Alright, I won't hold you back for long, here's the Epilogue of "Karin"! Enjoy!xx
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The only time that Sasuke Uchiha had felt incredibly nervous was back when his father was mentoring him on how to use Katon. Though many years had passed, he could still vividly remember that heart-pounding, stomach-twisting sensation of not knowing if he’d be able to produce an impressive result as his father’s eyes were fixated on him. 
And now, he could feel the same thing with what he was planning to do.
Although they didn’t really have the best father-son relationship, he knew that if Fugaku Uchiha was still alive, he’s the best person who could give him the most logical advice that he needed at the moment, considering that they were, in many ways, similar in terms of their personality. 
That’s why absurdly, he wished his father was here to tell him how to execute his plan in a step-by-step manner like how he passed on to him the Great Fireball Technique.
Sasuke wasn't the kind of person who finds asking questions necessary, a manifestation of the superiority that tended to be his facade even in his most vulnerable state. But if only he could, there were lots of questions that he would like to ask his Otou-san.
How exactly did father ask mother to marry him?
Did he feel as insanely apprehensive as I am right now?
Did mother actually say yes on father’s first attempt to ask?
How many chances does a man have anyway, just in case...just in case the woman says no?
These, and probably a lot more.
With thoughts all over the place, Sasuke fidgeted on the couch as he watched Sakura make funny faces at the giggling Suika on the floor of the Hozuki’s living room. 
She’s still so annoying, he couldn’t help but think. Doesn’t she have the slightest idea about how much he was falling in love with her all the more each day?
Observing Sakura with Suika has been one of his favorite past times ever since the redhead baby was born. It just showed him much of the pureness of her heart towards people, children in particular. And it only solidified his resolve that he has made the right decision – probably the best in his life so far – about spending the rest of his life with his female teammate in his genin squad.
He planned to ask her that special question today, when the opportunity arises. His brain has been trying its best to figure out how to do so ever since he came out of the hospital weeks ago. But being Sasuke Uchiha, there was no grand preparation and sappy romantic gestures despite the ridiculous suggestions of his best friend and the disgusting persuasion of his sensei for him to read his favorite book. All he knew was it was completely fixed in his mind that this woman was the one he wanted to marry.
And today was the day that he’s gonna make Sakura Haruno say yes to being an Uchiha.
So while they were waiting for the Hozuki couple to finish packing their belongings, he was on the alert for any open chance to bring up his question in the same way he has his guard up whenever a possible enemy is lingering around.
“Is something bothering you, Sasuke-kun?”
Tch. Why does she have to know him so well?
He tersely shook his head, eyes on Suika who was curiously staring at him with her tiny hand in her mouth.
“You know I’m always here to listen when you’re ready.” Sakura showed that breathtaking smile of hers that seemed to be reserved just for him. TCH! 
“Oh, you want to go to Uncle Sasuke? Okay! Okay! Stop bouncing!” She then giggled to the kid, leaned to carry her, and then placed her on Sasuke’s lap.
Suika stretched an arm out to reach for his face, and for a moment, it was effective in drawing his gaze away from Sakura. But the head medic moved closer to wipe the side of Suika's mouth with a bib as the baby babbled incoherent words.
For a second, Sasuke's mind went blank, bringing him to a different timeline wherein quite the same scene was happening as if he was in a genjutsu. It was breathtaking. His heart constricted with longing for the surreal image to become a reality, despite it being far-fetched. 
Years ago, he never imagined that he would have the chance of having a family of his own. And yes, even up to now, the idea was still something that his mind wrestled to accept as something that he deserved.
But then, his eyes met Sakura’s once more. And just like all the other times that he has met her gaze, something inside him changed and made him feel like it's just so easy to drop all his hesitations because of her – for her.
“Sakura...I–”
“Wow! I can’t believe it’s our last day.”
Their heads suddenly whipped towards the bedroom door as their redhead friend exited, followed by her husband who had just finished sealing their baggage in a scroll.
Half irked yet half relieved with the interruption, Sasuke sighed as he handed the baby to her frowning mother. It was a good thing that Sakura didn't realize he was about to tell her something important. 
Maybe later, then.
Suigetsu shrugged. "Some things really come to an end, Karin."
“That’s sadly true,” Sakura joined in the conversation, approaching the Hozuki matriarch to pass on the baby's bib. “But the good thing is that every time a season ends, a new one is about to begin.” She smiled at the woman who has become one of her closest friends. 
It was saddening to see their family leave, but she’s just so excited for them to finally reside in a place they could truly call their home. Besides, they deserved it after everything they've been through individually and as a family.
“It’s time to go.” Everyone turned to the Uchiha who was already standing by the door.
So with a toothy grin, Suigetsu placed an arm around his wife’s shoulders before saying, “Let’s go, Karin. I’m excited for you and Suika to see Hidden Mist.”
The walk towards the gates of Konoha seemed like a trip down memory lane. So when they finally reached that familiar arc that welcomes and sends off Konoha's villagers and visitors, Karin wasn't able to stop herself from handing over Suika to her husband and then throwing her arms as tight as she could around Sasuke.
"Karin. How many times should I tell you to get off me, especially because you're a married woman?"
The redhead chuckled at that, amused with how detached he still was – well, except for a certain pink-haired maiden. "My husband wouldn't mind though!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes but found himself glancing at the other woman with them, wondering if she would mind about the situation. However, he only caught her laughing cutely at the ordeal. He couldn't bring himself to scoff.
Pulling away for the Uchiha to be comfortable, Karin sheepishly said, "Thank you so much for everything, Sasuke. I'm so glad that you've found redemption for yourself. No doubt, you'll be able to help more people inside and outside this village. Like us. I will never forget this."
Karin realized that staying in Konoha was the happiest moment of her life so far. And she knew that despite her initial doubts about the idea, everything wouldn’t happen if her husband didn’t force her to join Sasuke in going to this place for her and their baby's safety. Yet she never expected that the decision would be life-changing for all of them.
Suigetsu agreed with a nod. “Sasuke, you've done so much for us. I owe my family’s life to you. I honestly can't thank you enough."
The former leader of Team Taka was stunned at the way his teammates expressed their gratitude to him. He never even thought that there's anything anyone should thank him for. If anything, it was them that he should've thanked for they've shown him a glimpse of what a transformed life and an assured future look like. But as usual, he was not exactly good with words. 
Remembering how they've witnessed the majority of his worst years yet they're still here to stand by him, Sasuke's eyes softened as he gave the couple a simple yet meaningful nod in response.
The pink-haired maiden beside him was smiling the entire time. Sakura didn't know all the details of Sasuke's journey with Taka, but to see him developing such strong bonds even outside of Team 7 was something that she considered a breakthrough. It gave her joy knowing that this scenario was an assurance to Sasuke that he won't ever be alone anymore.
"Before I forget, please bring these pills that would help in keeping you from the cold during your travels," Sakura then handed a small pouch to Karin. "This is helpful especially for Suika since this would be her first exposure to such cold weather."
If Karin was able to stop her tears from falling while talking to Sasuke, she wasn't able to contain it anymore while staring at the pouch given by Sakura. This woman has done so much in bringing out the best in her without her knowing. And so, she also enveloped her in an embrace that's so rare for Karin to give, well, except when it's for her husband and Sasuke.
“Sakura, you’ve saved my life not just once. And then you've shown me the kind of life I never imagined I could still have. Thank you for trusting me and for believing in my potential.” Karin sniffed while Sakura gave her a pat on the back, unable to stop a tear from falling as well. And then the redhead pulled away, instantly wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand with a big smile at her senpai. "I'm not usually like this but—ugh! It's because of the two of you!"
At her loud remark, Sasuke raised an eyebrow while Sakura ended up cackling with a hand on her stomach.
"Whew. At least it's not me this time." Suigetsu snickered too, rocking the baby in his arms that was awakened by the voice of her mother.
Karin almost landed a punch to her husband's liquefiable head, but thanks to Suika's sleepy murmur, she opted to avoid violence to carry the baby again. "Ssh. I'm sorry, kid. Mama's a little different today because of your godmother and godfather." She stuck a tongue out at the two and Sasuke could only snort as Sakura continued to laugh.
"Ha. Sorry, Karin could be crazy at times, or…" The Hozuki patriarch paused and pretended to contemplate. "...actually, most of the time."
"Hey! You're lucky I'm holding your daughter!"
"Kidding, guys. I love that woman nonetheless." 
Sakura and Sasuke didn't fail to see the tinge of maroon on the redhead's cheeks before she turned around to hide it. Uncomfortable with such things, the Uchiha scoffed at the sight of his old teammates. But then, he slightly jerked as something hit his side almost close to his ribs. 
When he shot a sharp glance at the woman beside him, Sakura was just smiling innocently at the Hozuki's. Yet this doctor might need to heal something later, courtesy of her pointed elbow.
Suigetsu noticed the interchange and smirked a little, having high hopes that one day, these two would finally end up like him and his wife. He then grinned. "But really, the two of you have made a difference in our lives. We'll surely remember this and even tell Suika one day. Sasuke, you better visit us in one of Orochimaru's hideouts. And then bring Sakura-san with you."
"As if I'd want to go back there."
Scrunching her nose, Sakura shivered at the prospect of being in the aforementioned place. 
Karin wasn't able to stifle her guffaw as she faced her friends again. "But we don't know, Sasuke, what if you'd eventually need to visit? And that would be nice! I want Suika to meet you both one day!"
"Tch. You'd really want your daughter to grow up in that dumpsite?"
"Oi! You kind of grew up there too!" Suigetsu teased.
Staring blankly, Sasuke fought the urge to burn the couple with his powerful eyes for the sake of their daughter. And then he said, "You better leave now. It's almost dusk."
"Fine then, yes, sir!"
"Take care of your family, Suigetsu."
"Always. And you, take care of Sakura-san!" There was a smirk on Suigetsu's lips as Sasuke remained silent at that. But he knew full well, Sasuke would cross time and dimensions and even give his life just to protect Sakura. This time, his strength would be used not for his own selfish agenda, but for the sake of the people he cared for. Just like what he did for Suigetsu and his family.
"Oh. This is real now, isn't it?"
Sakura reached out and gave Karin's hand a squeeze, looking down on Suika who was now awake after all the commotion with her parents and godparents. A giggle escaped her tiny lips upon seeing Sakura, making Sakura frown a bit as her green eyes met the baby's purple ones. "Yes, it's real now, Karin. But this ain't goodbye. See you soon." She smiled one last time before moving aside, waving a small goodbye as the Hozuki's finally exited the village hidden in the leaves.
Sasuke and Sakura silently remained on their posts as the two figures became smaller from afar.
Until Sakura murmured, "They're such a beautiful family, aren’t they?" Slowly, Sasuke tilted his head to gaze at her. And at that very moment, everything felt right. He took in her beauty as the setting sun made her face glow and the breathing wind made her cherry blossom hair sway in slow motion. It reminded him of those times in his redemption journey that he marvelled at the sight of Cherry Blossom trees because it made him feel like she was beside him, albeit far away.
Now that it became real, he thought of how wonderful it would be to have more peaceful moments like this with her. So as they stood in the place where he first broke her heart, he finally chose to drop all hesitations so he could do what he wanted to accomplish before the day ends, with high hopes that he could also give Sakura a new memory with him in this place. 
"Sakura. Do you...want to have something like that?" The Hozuki's were already out of sight but his first female teammate continued to stare at a distance. "A future family?" She smiled, clutching her hands to her chest as she thought of the only man she'd want to spend the rest of her life with. And then she said in a soft voice, “I've...I've always wanted to." "I want to have that too...with you."
With wide eyes, Sakura turned to Sasuke who was now looking at the path his friends walked on. There was no trace of humor on his face, only an expression that showed solace and expectancy. “S-sas—”
"But Sakura...it is clear as day that you deserve the best. And that’s...that’s not me." Sasuke’s gaze fell to the ground. "I'm not even exactly a good man, so I'm far from being the best for you. There were so many things that I've done that destroyed and hurt so many people, including you and the ones that you care for. So even though I'd...I'd really want a future with you, I don't think you deserve someone whose past is as wicked as mine."
"Sasuke-kun, all those is exactly what you've said – a part of the past. My love for you is not based on what you've done or what you would do. It's simply based on you, Sasuke-kun. Just you. Anything else doesn't matter, as long as...as long as I know that you deeply love me." She paused. "Do you love me?" There was a momentary pause as he looked up at her dazzling eyes. But it wasn’t because he was doubting his answer, for Sasuke has always been sure. 
For a second, he wanted to chuckle at the irony that Sakura Haruno could read words and situations, analyze lab tests and battle strategies, but she couldn’t read and analyze the feelings that Sasuke Uchiha has for her.
It was not her fault that he hadn’t made himself crystal clear yet though. 
So he thought of the best way to vividly convey his answer to her question and firmly address her uncertainties about her standing in his life all this time. 
He then settled in responding through the best and significant way he knows. Smiling a little, he gently tapped her forehead right below the diamond-shaped mark of her strength before saying, "You should know that by now.”
Just like the first time Sasuke did this, Sakura's eyes widened and her lips parted a little as her cheeks became painted with pink. The only difference now was that she stared back at him with recognition, eyes brimming with tears of none other than joy. To know that her love was reciprocated for such a long time already made her feel elated more than ever.
For so many times, she has almost given up in waiting. But it was true all along, being loved back by the man she has always loved was worth the long wait. She regrets nothing for even after everything, it all came down to this. Sasuke looked away as he remembered something. "That time you've been avoiding me because of Karin...it made me realize that I couldn’t stand a life without you." He muttered something like "Never again" and then faced her with his mismatched eyes focusing intently – lovingly – on her green ones. "If you’re willing to make things work together with me...Sakura, marry me." Sakura's tears finally fell upon hearing those last words that she thought she would never hear from this man. She didn't even have to contemplate on what she would answer for she immediately said, "I could never imagine loving and marrying anyone else, Sasuke-kun." 
And then she tapped his forehead in the same way he did with her, making Sasuke's eyes widen and his heart flutter in a way that he never felt before. His lips curved into a smile as he pulled her into a long embrace that surprised even him. But as Sakura melted in his arms as if she had always belonged there, he felt completely relieved that he got the answer he had prayed to receive from her. Maybe this was what Suigetsu had felt when Karin agreed to spend the rest of her life with him as well, he thought.
The satisfied smile on Sakura’s lips after they pulled away made Sasuke’s heart skip a beat. It still felt like he was dreaming, the fact that he was staring at his wife-to-be. “Let’s go home.”
“Yours or mine?”
Sasuke slowly grabbed her hand, after all, he has every right to do so now. “Ours. From now on, you have to be comfortable around the Uchiha compound. I’ll just walk you back to your place tonight.”
As the two of them walked hand in hand back to the village, two pairs of eyes continued to watch them from the nearby trees.
“Heh, Kakashi-sensei, this is a lot better than the last time the three of us were here with Karin, ‘ttebayo!” 
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August 2019 | AriannJS
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8 chapters. 8 characters. 8 months. It's a wrap! *cries in G#m* This fic is now saying sayonara! But hmm...who knows, I might actually get to finish a one-shot sequel for this. Well, we'll see. ;) Arigatou Gozaimashita, mina-san! I appreciate you all!
- A
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