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#god the novak's were fucked over so badly
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How the CKY Boys Would React To You Using Pet Names On Them In Bed (Smut Drabble/Imagine)
@chasingwinehouse you give me so many good ideas man ILY and I appreciate you <3 this doesn’t include Bam or Ryan cuz if I ever do this for the Jackass guys I’ll include them there. This is for Raab, Rake, Frantz and Novak ONLY, aka my favorite underrated men <3 no Dico cuz I couldn’t figure out a pet name you would call him. Also, Raab’s part involves mommy kink and Rake’s part involves daddy kink and breeding kink.
Raab Himself (Sweetheart)
“How’s that feel, baby, you like that?” You rubbed your thumb over the tip of Raab’s cock, smiling when a soft, whiny moan left his lips. “Feels so good, mommy, thank you.” The two of you were sitting on your bed; you were sitting with your legs crossed, and Raab was in your lap with his back to your chest as you pumped his cute little cock in your hand, his head leaning back against your chest as he gasped and jerked with every little touch. You pressed your lips against the shell of his ear, keeping your voice a low, soothing tone as you encouraged him. “Come on, baby, don’t be afraid to get loud for me, I like hearing you moan and whimper for me, you always sound so sweet.” You pressed your lips against his neck, jerking his cock in your hand as your thumb rubbed over his slit, and Raab gasped, bucking his hips up against your grip. “Fuck, mommy, I’m so close, please don’t stop.” You chuckled, kissing the spot under his earlobe as you pumped his cock with a firm grip. “Aw, you gonna cum, baby? You gonna blow your cute little load all over my hand so I can make you suck it off my fingers? Come on, Raab, give me what I want. Cum for me, sweetheart.” The second the term of affection left your lips, Raab’s face went bright red and he let out a moan of shock, hips jerking intensely as he suddenly came all over your hand. You watched him with a stunned look, gently rubbing circles over the tip of his cock to help bring him down from his high as he relaxed against your chest, breathing heavily with a satisfied look on his face. “Jesus, baby, if I’d known you’d react like that I would have called you sweetheart way earlier.” Raab blushed. “Sorry, mommy, I didn’t mean to cum that fast.” You laughed, stroking his hair with your clean hand. “Don’t apologize, sweetie, that was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ll remember that next time we do this. Now lick your cum off my hand like I asked, baby.” Raab eagerly obliged.
Rake Yohn (Daddy Kink)
You were on your hands and knees on the bed, Rake fucking you from behind with his chest to your back and his hand lightly holding the base of your neck. “Keep going, princess, you’re doing so good for me. Keep taking my cock, baby.” You leaned your head back so he could kiss you, his grip on your throat tightening just slightly, and he smacked his free hand against your asscheek as he thrust inside you again. “God, baby, your pussy feels incredible. You have no fucking idea how badly I want to put a baby inside you right now, how badly I wanna fill your pussy with my cum and get you pregnant. You’d look so good with my baby inside you, wouldn’t you?” His hand rubbed over your belly demonstratively, and you moaned loudly, mouth falling open in pleasure as his cock stretched you out. Everything felt so good, you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next. “Fuck, daddy, please fill my pussy with your cum, please put your baby inside me, I want it so bad–” Rake’s grip on your throat immediately tightened, his thrusts becoming ten times more intense as he grabbed you by the hair and yanked you back so his mouth was near your ear. “What was that, princess? What did you just call me? Say it again, baby, I wanna hear you call me that again.” You whined loudly, desperate for his cock as he pounded your pussy with as much force as he could. “Daddy.” Rake pulled your head back again. “Say it louder, princess.” You raised your voice, nearly screaming from the pleasure as his cock head stretched you out. “Daddy!” Rake promptly came inside you, hands grabbing at your hips to keep himself steady as he pumped your pussy full of his seed, and then he pulled his cock out of you with a low groan. “Fuck, princess, I don’t know where that came from but I fucking loved it.” You smiled with an exhausted look. “I’ll keep that in mind, daddy.” He shot you a warning look, hands spreading your thighs so he could admire the sight of his cum dripping from your pussy and down your thighs. “Watch it, princess, unless you want me to go for another round.”
Joe Frantz (Sir)
Frantz’s hand came down hard on your ass, a condescending look on his face as you moaned loudly at the contact. “God, you’re such a slut. Moaning like a desperate little slut and my cock’s not even inside you yet, do you hear how pathetic you sound?” He mocked your moans, his smacks becoming even harder as he did so. “You like it when I smack your ass like this, baby? You like being spanked like the whore you are?” You bit your lip, moving your hips back against his touch as his palm smacked against your ass. “Yes, sir, I love when you spank my ass like this, it’s the only thing I deserve.” As soon as you called him sir, Frantz immediately ceased his actions and grabbed you by the hair, yanking your head back to force you to look at him. “Sir? Did you just call me sir? Getting your ass spanked like a worthless fucking slut and you call me sir, you’re even more pathetic than I thought. Don’t stop now, sweetheart, keep calling me sir. You’re lucky I’m even touching you right now, the least you could do is show a little respect.” Frantz began to spank you again, his palm coming down on your ass with ten times as much force, and he tugged on your hair warningly to remind you to do as he had ordered. “Fuck, please spank my ass harder, sir, I love it so much, spank my ass like the worthless little whore I am.” Frantz’s gaze darkened, and the smug look came back as he mocked you again. “You are a whore, aren’t you? My whore. My little fucking whore who does whatever I tell you to do. No one else gets to spank you like this, do they? No one else gets to call you a worthless little slut, do they? I don’t fucking think so. I’m the only man you’ll ever call sir, and I’m the only man that’ll ever get to spank you like this, got it?” You whined as his hand came down on your ass again. “Yes, sir.”
Brandon Novak (Babe)
“Fuck, Brandon, that feels good.” Brandon had you on your back on the bed, your legs over his shoulders as he fucked you. He grinned, his hands stroking your thighs as he thrust his cock inside you again. “Of course it does, baby, this is what I’m best at.” You playfully rolled your eyes, tightening up around his cock, and he pulled your legs off of his shoulders and set them back down on the bed, leaning over you to fuck you in the normal missionary position. “How’s that, (Y/n), you like that?” You nodded. “Yeah, babe, that feels good, can you use your fingers too?” Novak grinned cockily, leaning his face close to yours as he raised his eyebrows. “Babe? Yeah, that’s right, I’m your babe, babe. Man, I like that.” You raised your eyebrows. “…you like me calling you babe? That’s pretty mild, babe, especially for you.” Novak shrugged, looking noticeably energized as he fucked you faster with his hands on your hips. “It’s sweet, though. I’m your babe, I like that.” You laughed, leaning up to kiss him affectionately. “You’re sweet when you wanna be. Weird as hell, but sweet. Now come on, babe, finish me off.” Novak nodded eagerly. “Anything for you, babe.”
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roseunspindle · 1 month
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this is for harmless silly fun, also what is a time line?
John Winchester crawls out of hell...nods to his kids...and then instead of heaven, finds himself in the bunker (he finds out what it is later) during a get together of sam and dean, their families and kids, and various friends.
Dean's family consists of Him, Cas, and Benny (returned with Sam from Purgatory)
Their kids are Emma (Sam found her as a baby in purgatory and still feeling horribly guilty over her death, brings her back through, without the amazon magic/forced growth, she reverted to infancy. Dean cried when Sam handed her to him.
As of John's arrival she looks something like...
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She has her amazonian strength and powers, only without the firced aging and whatnot she isn't bound to kill her father nor does she want to. (except when he makes her eat vegetables) She and Gertie are best friends. Dean gave her the middle name Karen, in honor of Bobby's late wife.
Cas, Dean, and Benn have also adopted a little boy, who's parents were the victim of a Djinn. They didn't mean to keep him but...Dean is and always will be a sofite for small chidlren.
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Joseph "Jo" Robert Winchester
John is not okay...how is his good, obdient soldier son married to a damn vampire, an "angel" and one of his kids isn't even really human?
Sam's marriage is even more perplexing (upsetting/infuritating) to John.
Sam himself...John wants to take a a pair of scissors to his younger son's head so badly...
No, this kid of his is "married" to three people. He and Dean both claim their multi-partner marriages are accetable by virtue of being "married by God"
Sam's wife is a girl, she's nineteen, Claire Novak-Winchester, who weirdly refers to Dean, Benny, and Castiel as Pops, Papa and Dad...apparently she and Sam texted a lot and when she asked to him to go hunting with her after she graduated high-school...they fell in love. That would be...somewhat comprehensible...then his other two partners are men and one is supposedly both the Pagan God Loki as well as being the Archangel Gabriel and the other is Satan...fucking Lucifer. John's pretty sure if he wasn't still technically dead he'd have a stroke.
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Even worse, before he got married, he'd had a breif fling with a 300+ year old witch Rowena and had a daughter with her. Mary-Ellen Winchester. He's the primary parent for her as Rowena was "well aware of her lack of motherly instincts"
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(looked up red haired baby plaid on pinterest XD)
Then apaprently after Sam andClaire got together properly with Lucifer! and Gabriel Claire had a baby with Satan. (in this world it just wouldn't make sense for Lucifer to purposefully have a child with a random woman) Claire is a big incredibles fan though so her baby's name is Jack James Novak-Winchester, and his nickname is Jack-Jack. With Lucifer and Gabriel supporting her and helping her Claire survived her pregnancy pretty easily. Jack-Jack wasn't planned but Claire decided to go ahead with the pregnancy as she figured the word wasn't presently ending, she was already pregnant, she was in a stable relationship and had plenty of extra parents and family to care for the baby even though she personally wants to keep hutning.
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*in this world Lucifer was kinda just sad but impressed that Sam "beat" him. They hung out in the cage, Sam and Adam acting as family therapists for Michael and Lucifer. Michael was more...shell shocked over the failure of the apocalypse and that his father let this happen...by the time Death comes to retrieve Sam's soul they are all fairly okay with each other. Adam and Sam have bonded. Michael has gotten to the point where he can admit "father must have changed his mind" if not that God may have abbandoned them or not care anymore. It's only been 180ish years. Death is rather delighted that he doesn't have to block Sam's memories, as Sam, if a bit...odd from having had exactly four people to hang out with for nearly two centuries, is pretty stable. (He still finds having flesh and actual places to go weird at times). He is upset that Dean didn't think to "rescue" Adam.
So when Amara rises and they go to Lucifer's cage the intent is to see if Lucifer and Michael will help and get Adam out. Sam...had come to care for Lucifer during their cage time and Lucifer had said that he didn't feel an urge to destroy all human life anymore. It was still a mega show of trust that had Sam saying yes to Lucifer this time. Adam is perfectly fine serving as Michael's vessel, withour coersion this time.
Post God and Amara making up, with Samifer and Michadam honestly more refereeing the argument than actually doing much fighting.
God remakes Nick's body, now capable of holding Lucifer and young john winchesters that Sam and Adam might be free. Adam, who is happily in love with Michael just laughs and laughs over getting to finally have some "daddy" issues of his own.
Gabriel is rescuded from Asmodeus and he and Lucifer reforge their bond. It's actually Claire who gets Sam to admit his mega in love with both angels.
Adam and Michael are dating.... (John doesn't quite know how to look a his youngest child...)
Kevin and Samandriel are together with their own rescue baby. There had been a haunting that Kevin found on accident. The little girls parents survived...but...they weren't very good parents. (hello sad beige parents who viewd their child as more of an acessory than as a human) Dean had jokingly called the girl "Kevin Jr." when he came back with her, the little girl barely verbal due to ghost and parent trauma. From then on she refused to be answer to any other name.
Mrs. Tran adores her granddaughter.
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(looked up "five year old girl" on pinterest, thought this pic was perfect for Kevin Jr.)
Garth and his family are attending.
John's even more alarmed when actual demon's are also in attendance. Abbadon, Crowley , and Meg. Meg makes kissy faces at him.
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taytrashmouth · 1 year
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This was a small piece from my I am not okay with this, Stanley barber x reader fanfic on Wattpad.
Read more:
I smiled, it was like I was finally going to have a normal high school experience.
Syd grabbed a drink from some girls hand as we walked, chugged it down in one gulp and threw the cup behind us. We all laughed, enjoying the moment.
Very soon we were all on the dance floor, dancing really badly and just having a great time.
"Do you guys want some punch?" Dina asked after a while. "Sure." Syd and I answered.
I glanced across the gym and saw Stan awkwardly asking Mercedes to dance, she walked away....my heart broke, for Stan and the sight of him with someone else and then treating him like that.
Stan put on his sunglasses and sat down on the bleachers.
“I’ll be right back.” I almost whispered.
I walked over.
Stan took off his sunglasses again and stared at his feet. I sat next to him, I took a deep breath when he didn't even look at me.
"Best theater in town huh?" I asked looking at everyone dancing.
"I'm pretty sure you specifically said you weren't coming to this." Stan stated, still looking down.
"I wasn't." I stated.
"Well, aren't you worried about being followed?" He asked, I could tell he was annoyed.
"No one's following me Stan, it was...all In my head....I should've told you I was coming." I sighed.
"N/n I know we're not a thing, or together anymore, in fact I don't know if we ever were...and that's and that's cool I, I mean you gotta know I...I really like you." Stan rambled.
I smiled slightly to myself.
"We were definitely together.....and I really, really like you too Stan." I smiled, finally looking him in the eye. I saw Stan try hide a smile.
"So who are you here with anyway?" Stan asked.
"Well I came with Syd and Dina but I'm here alone." I stated.
"Does Dina know about you?" Stan asked.
"Know what?"
"Well..that you're a superhero" Stan stated.
I smiled.
"Other than Syd who is also a 'superhero' you’re the only one."
Stan's face lit up and he chuckled. "Cool."
"Also I'm really not a super-"
"Just-just give me this one thing...please. " Stan laughed.
I smiled widely and genuinely for the first time in what felt like forever, i missed him.
"I'll give you two things...." I smiled. 
"What?" Stan asked as I placed my lips on his and they moved perfectly with each other, butterflies flew all over my body, I pulled away with a huge smile.
“Y-You need a date?” Stan stuttered.
I chuckled. “What about Mercedes?”
“I think she belongs to the theatre now.” Stan nodded towards the dance floor where she had already found a new date.
He grabbed my hand and We walked through the crowd to Syd and Dina at the punch table.
"Stan!" Dina smiled.
"Dina, you look um...you like like a Christmas tree." Stan complimented.
"Thanks dude." Dina stated.
We saw Whitaker staring at us.
"Oh god Whitakers still watching us." Stan added.
"It's probably the most exciting that's ever happened in his entire life." Syd smiled.
"Mm, I don't know guys..I mean we're wanted criminals. Why are we out here in the open? Exposed. First rule of the heist is split the loot and split the fuck up right?" Stan exclaimed.
"What loot?all we did was disrespect this fine institution." I joked.
"And disrespect ourselves." Syd waved her finger.
We all laughed.
Stan started to complain about the music and dragged me with him to go ask the DJ to change the song.
"Hey dude can I change the song?" Stan asked.
"Never." The DJ stated.
I zoned out for a second, smiling at Syd.
"What do you mean you've never heard of bloodwitch!?" Stan asked.
I sighed when I saw Dina and syd go dance, I grabbed Stan's hand and dragged him to the dance floor.
"So Dina's a Christmas tree?" I chuckled as he put his hands on my hips and I put mine around his neck.
"Yeah." Stan smiled.
"And what am I?" I asked gesturing at my outfit.
"Beautiful." Stan smiled.
I blushed harder than ever and looked down at the floor before Stan lifted my chin and kissed me passionately.
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chapeldean · 2 years
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possessed. - for spncreatorsdaily’s halloween celebration 
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Teenagers Part 5
Harry Potter Marauders Era 
Link to Part 4 
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: M
____
James stormed out of the Three Broomsticks unsure as to exactly where he was going. Watching Regulus with his tongue down your throat was enough to make James want to puke.
“James, wait up.”
He turned to see Sirius and Remus running after him. James was thankful that the two of his friends had been so supportive throughout the past two months. If James didn’t have Sirius and Remus, he wasn’t for sure what he would have done without having you to turn to. Like he had thought earlier, James knew that it was childish to be treating you in such a way (and he would regret it later) but James needed you to see that he was just trying to protect you.
“Are they still snogging?”
James asked, closing his eyes. Sirius nodded, feeling as equally as grossed out. Out of the three men standing outside of the Three Broomsticks, Sirius was probably the most “okay” with your relationship with Regulus. Sirius was thrilled to see his brother “happy” for a chance. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had seen Regulus smile. Now the boy was smiling all the time.
Sirius had even commented about how nice it was to see his younger brother happy. James had ended that comment with a lewd comment of his own.
He’s happy because my sister is probably sucking his dick.
Both Remus and Sirius only blinked as James started muttering about “why did I make that comment?”
On the other hand, Sirius also understood James' concern about the relationship. Regulus wasn’t the innocent little boy that he used to be. Sirius knew that his brother was so “far in” with the Black family views and Slytherin bullshit, he was afraid that you would be injured in the crosshairs of some stupid thing.
He could only pray that Regulus’ seemingly happy attitude was a sign that he was treating you like the princess that you deserved to be. Regulus was always holding your hand, opening doors for you, and carrying your stuff. Sirius couldn’t help but be proud of how his little brother appeared to be with “his first girlfriend.”
Remus’ tentative voice was the thing that pulled Sirius from his thought and brought him back to the conversation with James.
“They stopped snogging after you left but picked up again when Sirius and I walked out.”
Sirius nodded.
“I don’t think that they realized we were there, honestly. Y/n blushed big time when she saw Remus and I. Regulus was laughing.”
James rolled his eyes.
“Of course the little shit was laughing. He thinks this whole thing is god damn hilarious. The little prick never used to laugh until he hooked up with my sister. Now Regulus thinks that this is some kind of comedy club.”
Before Sirius and Remus could respond, you stepped outside of the pub. Regulus, as usual, had his hand wrapped around yours before leaning down to whisper something in your ear.
“Wonder what the big secret is?”
Sirius questioned as you said something back to Regulus in a hushed tone. James frowned and tried to pick up any clue of the conversation. When Regulus looked over his shoulder before turning back to you with a sly grin, James couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He had rolled his eyes so many times in the past 2 ½ months that he was convinced that his eyes were going to get stuck.
“Is it me or does the love birds look like they don’t want to be followed?”
“That’s exactly how it looks.”
Remus commented. Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.
“Well, life isn’t fair. We can’t always get what we want, can we?”
James was thrilled by his best friend’s comment. Sirius knew exactly what he was thinking before he could even think it.
“Not at all. Let's go.”
(meanwhile)
The cold December air swirled all around you as you walked with Regulus back to school. After realizing that James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily were watching the two of you snog, Regulus suggested taking this “somewhere a little more private.”
“You would think that the lot of them were looking for a cheap peep show. Perverts.”
Regulus muttered as the two of you walked. You didn’t have to look over your shoulder to know that the two of you were being followed.
“I assume that they are looking for more because they are following us. Regulus, don’t start anything. Just keep walking. We will be at the room of requirement soon and those lookie-loos will be out of luck.”
You heard Regulus curse under his breath. Regulus would have loved any excuse to hex the crap out of your brother and you knew it.
“I hope they run face-first into the door and break their noses. You know that I won’t let them live it down.”
Regulus commented, resisting the urge to throw a hex over his shoulder. The only thing stopping him from taking any action was the realization that if Regulus harmed Jame or Sirius, his chances of “getting something” in the room of requirement was going to fall apart.
(meanwhile)
James, Sirius, and Remus remained hot on your trail all the way back to Hogwarts.
“Where are they going?”
Remus questioned as he went up another flight of stairs. Sirius automatically winced. He knew the answer.
“Looks like the room of requirement.”
James frowned. 2 and 2 clicked in his head. He knew exactly what went down in the room of requirement. Hell, he and Lily used it frequently.
“Oh, hell no! They can date if they have to but getting it on...fuck that. Y/n, wait!”
Both Regulus and yourself turned as the door of the room answered. James started running down the hallway to stop you. The last thing that he wanted was for you to make a mistake that you would regret later.
“Don’t go in there and do what I think you are about to do! Don’t do it with him!”
Before you could reply, Regulus pulled you into the room and slammed the door right in James' face. Regulus put a charm on the door so James and his band of friends wouldn’t be able to open it.
Regulus turned to look at you after a moment. You stood with your arms crossed over your chest glaring at the door.
“So, I guess you want to wait?”
You shook your head. The last thing that you were going to do was give your older brother the satisfaction of knowing that he stopped your first time.
“No, we aren’t waiting anymore. We have waited almost three months. That is long enough...a lot longer than James and Lily waited. Sirius and Remus...I don’t even want to go there.”
Regulus winced. The last thing that he wanted to do was think about his brother that way.
“Please. I don’t want to think about it either. Look, I don’t want our first time ruined because we are doing it to spite your stupid brother.”
You turned to your boyfriend and felt sad at the upset expression on Regulus’ face.
“I’m not doing anything to spite my older brother.”
You commented before closing the space between Regulus and yourself. Wrapping one arm around his waist, you gently stroked another hand down his chest. Regulus’ eyes closed as he enjoyed every moment of your hand on his body. The past two months had become some of the most sexually frustrating of his life. Regulus quickly began to realize why Sirius turned into such a hoe at school. After a few heated make outs in the room of requirement, Regulus was desperate to have you under him.
When you said that you weren’t ready, Regulus agreed to wait until you were ready for that next step. That didn’t mean that he had to like it though. Every kiss, every makeout, every little touch that you had to give him simply added to the urge to be with you in more than a PG13 sort of way.
“I’m doing this because I want you. I want my first time to be with you...and I think that you want it just as badly as I do.”
Regulus’ eyes snapped open.
“Yes, I want this. I just want you to be sure...I don't want you to regret it…”
“Reggie, I won’t regret it.”
You answered quickly. Before Regulus could really grasp what you were doing, you started unbuttoning your shirt. He pressed his lips together as your bra came into view.
“Oh, look at that..you are already taking your clothes off.”
“Yes, I think that you should take your clothes off as well…”
You replied, with a suddenly cocky smile. At the moment, you had never been more thankful for the ability to place silencing charms on the room. You were also thrilled that you weren’t able to hear James and Sirius on the other side of the door banging and screaming for you to stop what you were doing.
They lost their chance to have any say in my life the moment that they decided Regulus wasn’t good enough for me...They have to live with what they get…
________
@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @spiderxalmighty @jessyballet @knreidy1 @whymyparentscheckmyphone @rubyroscoe1 @acciosiriusblack @bennyberry @hazncalsgal @quuenofblacks @criminalyetminimal @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @summer-novak @hankypranky @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @li0nh34rt @tas898 @marichromatic @maggioli-m @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @stuckinsaudi1 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner
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emma-nation · 3 years
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The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU) - Chapter 9
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“Step inside, see the Devil in I”
Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.
In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.
“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”
Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x f!OC
Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning: for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)
Tag List: @nydeiri
Castle Dimitrescu, Lady Dimitrescu's Bedroom - Present Days
What did dying feels like? Bela couldn't remember the day she died, before she was turned. For many and many years, she wondered how it even happened. Maybe she was incurably ill. That would be the only plausible explanation on why Lady Dimitrescu decided to transform her into a vampire. Having an illness herself, she must've felt sorry for Bela being so young and already losing her life.
But that night, after being drugged by Mother Miranda, the memory from that tragic event returned to her memory stronger like never.
It was a cold night in the 1950's. Alcina threw a special dinner and invited her three favorite and most loyal servants. Three young girls. They felt honored sitting at the same table as their mistress. They were chatting and giggling but then... something started to feel strange. Starting by the fact none of the servants were around.
It began as a burning sensation in Bela's stomach. She tried to ignore it but it'd only grow stronger. She dropped the silverware she was holding. She attempted to swallow another sip of tea. By her side, she noticed one of the other two girls, the brunette one, starting to show signs of discomfort too.
"What's wrong, my dear?" Lady Dimitrescu asked when the red haired girl, the youngest of the three, started coughing.
"I can't..." she tried to answer, but the words got lost in her throat as she began to suffocate, "b-breathe..."
Bela tried to stand up and help her, but her surroundings started to spin. She held on the table for support. At this point, the brunette girl was already lying on the floor, having some kind of seizure. She looked at Lady Dimitrescu again, but she didn't seem to be worried. She seemed abnormally calm.
"W-What have you..." before she could finish the question, her lungs could no longer fill with oxygen. Her throat and her airways started to burn. She tried and tried to breathe, but it seemed impossible. The weakness started on her legs and spread to the rest of her body really quickly. In fact, she barely felt when she collapsed on the floor. When the seizures started, she was barely conscious. Her vision was already going black, but she still had time to see the Countess staring at her body, almost lifeless, as she said:
"Don't worry, daughter. Everything will be alright."
Poisoned. She was poisoned.
When Bela woke up it was already morning. She could tell by the rays of sunlight entering through the windows. She hadn't died this time, but the sensations she experienced were quite similar. Her head was aching intensely and her vision was still blurred. Whatever Miranda had injected in her blood had affected her senses very badly.
"Aleena," she finally remembered. She tried to get up but her legs were still weak. "I need to find her."
She kept moving slowly, using the walls and furniture for support. If only she could transform into flies, it would be a lot easier, but it hurt to even try.
"Fuck!" Bela cursed, frustrated. She threw herself on a couch for a moment. She needed to rest.
Her eyes analyzed her surroundings. Although Bela was in her mother's chambers, Lady Dimitrescu was nowhere to be seen.
Hours had passed since she was drugged. Anything could've happened during this time. She wondered if Aleena was still there and if she was okay. She had to be. But what if she slept for days? What if the ritual had already happened? Aleena could be dead in that exact moment and she wasn't there to protect her. That thought made her stomach feel sick. And rare were the occasions she felt sick after being turned.
"Bela!" Daniela opened the door, she seemed so confused and scared as she was. "There you are, sister! Oh my god, I was starting to think you were dead."
"You wish..." Bela moaned sarcastically. She couldn't miss the opportunity. "What the fuck happened, Dani? Where's that bitch?"
"Who? Cassandra?"
Daniela handed her a cup full of human blood. Bela drank it all in one sip. That was the only thing able to restore her body from the damage Miranda caused.
Cassandra. She remembered her middle sister being the one who told her to go to her mother's office. Traitor! She should've known when she appeared to be so supportive of her relationship with Aleena in the previous day.
"No, Mother Miranda."
"Mother Miranda was here?"
Before she could answer, the door opened with a slam. It was Cassandra, looking completely fine. She had blood around her mouth and all over her dress. In a blink of an eye, Bela lunged forward, pinning her against the wall.
"How could you?!" She yelled. "You sent me directly to a trap!"
"What are you talking about?" Cassandra argued. "Somebody caught me on a corridor and stabbed my neck with a needle, then I passed out."
"Come on, don't lie to us," Daniela shouted. "You entered my room last night and drugged me."
"And why I would even do this to both of you?"
Realizing what happened, Bela immediately let her go.
"Mother Miranda," she huffed. "She must have shapeshifted into you and attacked us all."
It was time to tell her sisters what she learned from Heisenberg. Miranda had already started to proceed with her plans and it was a matter of time before she attempted to kill them.
"This bitch is going to die!" Cassandra punched the wall. "Nobody pretends to be me and lives."
"This is the least of our problems," Bela said. "She can be anywhere right now, pretending to be someone we trust and ready to kill us all."
"Where's mom?" Daniela asked. "I couldn't find her anywhere."
Lady Dimitrescu was the last person Bela wanted to see. She lied and betrayed her, besides helping Mother Miranda to drug her.
"I don't know, I searched for her everywhere," Cassandra told. "On the bright side, there's fresh breakfast spread all around the castle."
"What do you mean, Cassandra?" Bela wanted to know.
"The servants. They're all dead."
"What about Aleena? Have you seen her?"
"No, I thought she was with you."
Bela transformed into flies and went straight to Aleena's bedroom. It was completely empty. The bed was still made as in the previous night. She went to her own bedroom next. The diary was opened on the bed, right on the pages where her father confirmed what Miranda told her in the office, Aleena was indeed the vessel.
Mrs. Volkov corpse was lying on the corridor and not so far away, there was a trail of blood, Aleena's blood. She froze in place, too terrified to even think.
"It doesn't mean anything," Daniela placed a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe she managed to escape."
"She probably did, that girl is fierce," Cassandra added, noticing how disturbed her older sister looked. "I mean, she's not one of the Lords or a servant. There's no reason for that crazy bitch to murder her."
"There is," Bela sighed deeply. "She's the vessel. Miranda was playing us like puppets. The goblet thing was already intentional, to bring Aleena to the castle where she'd be safe until she prepared the ritual."
"Oh fuck, this is bad."
"I... I'm going to the village. Maybe she's hiding in her house."
----------
Eastern Europe, Village - Present Days
When Bela left, she didn't even bother to check the temperature or to mount one of her horses. She transformed into flies and started to fly to the village as fast as she could. Everything that mattered was finding Aleena. She wasn't dead. She couldn't be dead. They were going to California together and they'd start a brand new life.
She stopped by her house first. The door was locked and the extra key hidden in a vase at the entrance, just where Aleena placed it before they returned to the castle.
"It doesn't mean she's not here," Bela tried to convince herself. "She must have found another way in, to not make it obvious she's hiding here."
She used the key to open the front door. The house was dark and silent. There weren't any signs of somebody's recent presence. She checked every room, the basement, the secret weapon storage... Aleena definitely wasn't there.
"Maybe she's at the pub or at one of her friends' houses," Bela concluded.
There was no way. She had to do that. She took a deep breath, gathering enough courage to enter the pub. There were only three people in there, a middle aged woman behind the counter, a blonde young male cleaning the tables and a girl, who was strangely similar to Cassandra, chatting to both of them. Bela recognized them from the pictures Aleena showed her. They were Olga, Gustav and Elena.
"Hello," she announced her presence. They all stopped to stare at her, but none of them had freaked out yet. Maybe they hadn't noticed the tattoo.
"How can we help you, darling?" The older woman asked. "Are you a foreigner?"
"I... uhh... I'm looking for Aleena Novak."
"She isn't here," it was the boy who answered this time. He had a lot of anger in his voice. "She was taken to Castle Dimitrescu a few weeks ago. We don't even know if she's still alive."
"She is," Bela told. "I've been taking care of her."
They finally understood. Their expressions all changed to pure terror and panic. The two younger adults hid behind the counter, together with the woman. The male grabbed a shotgun.
"Get the hell out of here!" He ordered. "And if Aleena escaped, don't you even dare to touch her again or I'll kill you. I'll find her and bring her home."
"Trust me, manthing. This is exactly what I'm planning to do. Mother Miranda has kidnapped her. She has been planning to sacrifice her in some kind of sick ritual tonight."
"Liar!" Cassandra's doppelgänger shouted. "Mother Miranda wouldn't do such a thing! She's always guiding and protecting us. Everything she does is for the best of all of us."
"Listen, little one," Bela exhaled deeply. She had no patience for humans. That was the reason why she avoided them. They'd usually annoy her to the point they became her prey. "I have proof. Aleena's father has left this diary, reporting everything."
"That man was insane. Most of the villagers hated him."
"But he never lied," Gustav spoke. "Adrian had some crazy theories nobody ever believed but... I've never seen him lying before. He was a man of his word."
"This is true," Olga added. "We grew up together. He was absolutely nasty, a real bastard, but not a liar. He wouldn't invent such a thing, especially when it came to protecting Aleena."
Olga locked the door and the group reunited in one of the tables, analyzing the notes Adrian Novak left.
"Fuck," Gustav cursed, while trying to speak on his phone. "Auryk must've gone after this contacts. I can't reach him."
"Do you have any ideas of where Aleena could've gone to, if she was trying to hide?" Bela asked.
"Other than our houses and the pub? Well... we had this fort in the woods when we were children. Maybe she's hiding there."
"Show me the way, little man."
But Gustav wasn't the one who was most familiar with the path to Aleena's childhood fort, it was Elena. The young woman followed them, complaining about literally everything and praising Mother Miranda.
"Mother Miranda would never do that!" Elena protested. "I'd trust her with my life."
"I was about your age when she did this to me, without my consent," Bela took off the hat she was wearing, exposing her scar. "And do you think immortality is a blessing? Try spending your life locked inside a castle, without being able to go outside most of the time."
"Why are we even trusting her, Gustav? She feeds on human blood and now we're alone with her in the middle of nowhere."
"If that makes you feel more comfortable, I've already had breakfast. Besides, I prefer drinking men's blood."
"Can we just focus on Aleena?" Gustav scolded both of them. Bela had finally found a man she respected. That boy was completely loyal and protective of her girlfriend, so he deserved some credit. "God knows why Bela is searching for her but... we have the same goal here."
"We're dating," Bela informed them of the latest news. "I love her. For real."
Both of the young humans stared at her in shock.
"It seems like we'll have a lot to catch up when I see Aleena again," the boy shook his head in disbelief. "I thought the vampire thing was just a phase."
They finally found the small wooden fortress in the middle of the woods. It was mostly destroyed, but it still could fit one adult person inside it.
"Aleena!" Gustav called. There was no answer. Still, Aleena was hurt. Maybe she was unconscious.
"Go," Bela poked Elena and ordered. "You're the shortest of us. Check if she's in there."
The girl rolled her eyes, but obeyed, ducking and entering the small fort. But there wasn't even a sign Aleena was there recently.
"Where do we search now?" Elena asked.
"I'll go to the other Lords," Bela told. "Maybe one of them is keeping her for Miranda. Thank you for your help, little humans. It was a pleasure to meet you."
Bela walked away from them. Maybe in another life, they could've been friends. The priority now was to find Aleena. She wondered if the girl went to Heisenberg seeking for protection or if Miranda had captured and taken her to that creepy cave. There wasn't much time to think, she needed to act.
She followed to Heisenberg's factory. As usual the man was swearing and torturing human beings on his basement.
"What brings you here, kid?" He asked. "Did you find the diaries?"
"Yes, but too late unfortunately," she answered. "The information we were searching for: all the women in Aleena's family have some kind of immunity against the creatures and their mutations. They healed after getting bitten by Lycans, Aleena healed when you attacked her... she's the vessel."
"We have to kill her immediately. Before Miranda puts her hands on her. If that happens, we're fucked."
"She already did. She showed up in the castle last night, drugged me and my sisters, killed the servants and now... I can't find Aleena anywhere."
"Girl, you had the opportunity in your hands," he clenched his fists. "If you had killed her, like you freaks do to every single human that steps into that castle, we wouldn't be in this situation."
"Shut up, Heisenberg!" Bela grabbed a piece of metallic scrap from the floor and threw in the man's direction. "I had no idea. Even if I did, she's my girlfriend and I have to save her before she's sacrificed on Miranda's ritual."
"Good luck with that. The crazy bitch is very good hiding things."
And Bela knew that. Next, she went to Moreau's, Miranda's most loyal follower. She didn't reveal any information, she simply tricked him by inventing an excuse, that stupid freak was easy to fool. But Aleena certainly wasn't there either. Using her flies, she checked the entire place. She did the same at Donna's house. While she entertained the woman and her creepy doll having a tea party with them, her flies inspected every corner of her eerie house.
She was about to follow to Miranda's cave when she ran into Cassandra, in the middle of the way.
"What are you doing, Bela?" She asked. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?
"I'm searching for Aleena. She's gotta be somewhere and the last place I must check is the cave."
"Mother is home," her sister announced. "She wants to talk to you."
----------
Castle Dimitrescu, Living Room - Present Days
In Bela's imagination, Lady Dimitrescu would apologize. Admit she had made a huge mistake and promise her they'd find Aleena together. That was who her adoptive mother was, she'd always do anything to make her daughters happy. But at the same time, she was also that same woman from her memory. The selfish Countess who killed three young girls to have them as her adoptive daughters. She killed, violated and turned them into monsters. What kind of mother was that?
The three sisters were sitting on the couch, waiting as their mother brought a tray with tea and some other treats. That would probably be their only food for days, as Lady Dimitrescu and Mother Miranda had killed all the servants.
Lady Dimitrescu sat on an armchair in front of them, looking at Bela mostly.
"I understand you're confused, daughters. But I'll explain everything."
"Where's Aleena?" Bela quickly asked. That was the only thing that mattered. Who cared about Mother Miranda's child who died ages ago? "What have you two done to her?"
"Bela, daughter... I understand you're upset and frustrated. However, Mother Miranda has been searching for the perfect vessel to bring her daughter back to life for many and many years. This vessel happens to be Aleena. It's her fate, her purpose."
Bela eyes were burning in pure rage. How could Alcina be so blind? Even Heisenberg, that scumbag of man, was smarter than her mother was.
"Her fate is to live her own life, to go to California and achieve her dreams. Her fate is to be with me!"
"I apologize for having to get rid of all of our servants," she clearly ignored her daughter's objections. "They wouldn't understand what's to come. Once Eva is back to life, things will change. I'd like to ask you girls to behave and treat her well, like if she's a new sister of yours. We'll be throwing a party to welcome Eva to our family and I'll need your help to organize it."
"Party?!" Bela let out a sarcastic laugh. "Are you naive or only stupid? Miranda is going to kill you before this ritual is even finished! It has been her plan all along."
"Bela!" Lady Dimitrescu's eyes narrowed and she raised her voice. "I'm your mother! You owe me some respect, little lady."
"I don't! Not when you drugged me and let Miranda kidnap my girlfriend. I want to know where she is."
"Daughter..." Alcina grabbed her by the shoulders and lowered her voice. An useless attempt to help her to calm down. "Aleena is gone. She's dead."
The world seemed to stop. As well as the clock. The voices. Everything. Not even Bela's brain was capable of working and processing the words she had just listened. Dead. Aleena was dead. Her Aleena. Her girlfriend. The woman she loved. She stopped breathing. Her stomach ached as much as in the night she was poisoned. She felt she was about to collapse and die again. Her heart was beating in a strange manner. It was out of control. She was out of control.
Bela raised her golden yellow eyes, filled with hateful tears and stared directly into Lady Dimitrescu's eyes.
"You..." she clenched her fists. "You lied to me... You betrayed me..."
"I was willing to let her live, daughter," the woman tried to excuse herself. "Until the last meeting. Mother Miranda told me the truth and asked me to give her the vessel."
"HER NAME WAS ALEENA," using her strength, Bela grabbed the heavy coffee table and threw it across the room, shocking her mother and sisters. "She had a name! She was NOT a vessel."
Very rare were the times Bela actually cried after being turned. She cried when she first woke up in excruciating pain, with that huge wound on the side of her head. She cried later, when she felt lost, without knowing who or what she was. And she was crying now. Without Aleena, she felt lost again. She had nothing left. She no longer wished to live. A life without that girl's contagious joy, optimism and bravery was meaningless.
"Bela..." Lady Dimitrescu tried to touch her, comfort her somehow, but the blonde girl slapped her hand away.
"I always did everything you asked me... I always tried to be the perfect daughter for you... AND FOR WHAT?" Bela sobbed. "The only thing I ever ask you, you denied me. You took Aleena from me. You chose Miranda over your own daughter!"
"I had no choice, daughter! She'd turn against us if I refused to give her Aleena. Who knows what she'd be capable of doing?"
"She's doing it anyways. She's going to kill us all now she's gotten what she wanted."
She started to walk away. She had to be alone. As far away as possible from that woman, from that family, from that stupid castle. That small bed & breakfast at the village seemed like a good option.
"Daughter, wait," Alcina went after her, as she entered her bedroom.
"Don't you ever call me daughter again, Lady Dimitrescu," Bela angered. "I'm not your daughter. You kidnapped, killed me and turned me into a monster. Who knows what you've done to my real parents. We're not your daughters, we're only your toys, your dolls. You're not that different from your sister, Donna, after all."
She slammed the door and locked it. The bedroom was still the same way they left in the previous night. The candles, the flowers, the discs... Aleena's perfume was still on her pillows. Bela threw herself on the bed, holding the pillow against her body as she cried uncontrollably.
This was all her fault. They should've finished reading the diaries earlier and found out the truth before Miranda's visit, but she distracted Aleena, wishing to spend as much time with her as possible before she left to California. She should've been there to protect her, she promised it. She shouldn't have trusted the woman she used to call 'mother'. She was an idiot and now, Aleena was gone. Forever.
----------
Castle Dimitrescu, Guest Room - Present Days
Memories. Only a few days earlier Bela was afraid memories would be everything she'd have left from Aleena and now, it really was. Without anybody noticing, she went to the guest room the girl had been staying during those weeks in the castle. She obviously wasn't there, but traits of her presence were still all around.
Her clothes were still in the closet. Some where lying on the armchair or even around the floor. Bela grabbed one of her t-shirts, one from Aleena's favorite TV show. It still had her perfume on it.
"I miss you, love," she inhaled deeply the sweet fragrance. "So much it's killing me."
Then, she took the sketch book from the desk. Aleena was the most talented artist Bela had ever met. Her sister, Daniela, was a good artist, but she wasn't so creative, so expressive and precise on her traces. Bela had many classes with Lady Dimitrescu, and though she could paint decently, it wasn't her strong suit.
The drawing was still there. The one Aleena where was drawing her face. The reason why they kissed that night in the library, when she said Bela was worth being remembered.
"And now I'm the one who have nothing to remind me of you, Aleena. Remind me of every detail of your perfect green eyes, your smooth brown hair and those sweet freckles all over your body."
Her cell phone was still inside the bedside table's drawer. Bela turned it on. Aleena had set a picture of them together as her lockscreen. She smiled. In the gallery, she found many and many pictures of all the days they spent together, since the lunch Bela threw on her birthday when she arrived.
There were videos too and as soon Bela heard Aleena's voice, she couldn't help but start crying again. Why did her mother betrayed her like that? She could've helped her to save Aleena. She could've helped them to take down Miranda. That was what a real mother was supposed to do!
"Hey," she rolled her eyes, noticing she had forgotten to lock the door again. Cassandra was standing right behind her. "I'm came here to check on you."
"Leave me alone, Cassandra," Bela angered. "You didn't even like her."
"This isn't true. Aleena wasn't my favorite person in the world, not that I have one by the way, but still... I didn't want her to die."
Bela ignored her. Cassandra didn't have maturity enough to understand how she was feeling. Sometimes she wondered if her sister was even able to feel empathy for another being. But then, she was surprised by her next move.
"I'm sorry," her middle sister touched her shoulder slightly, tenderly. "I know she made you happy. Deep down, I was rooting for you both."
She forced a small smile before pulling her sister for an embrace. It was probably the first time they exchanged such a genuine moment of affection.
"We'll make her pay," Cassandra stroked her hair. "Let's kill Bitch Miranda."
The three sisters gathered together in the library. Lady Dimitrescu couldn't be aware of their plans. Daniela revealed her sisters she once heard about a dagger their mother possessed, one that was able to kill any monsters and demons.
"Are you sure about this?" Bela asked to confirm. Daniela had a creative and delusional mind after all.
"Yes," her youngest sister said. "I stole one of her diaries once. She was reporting everything about this dagger, except for its location."
"Then I'll keep her distracted while you search for it," Cassandra suggested. "I'll pretend to help her with her party for Miranda's daughter rebirth."
"What about me?" Bela wanted to know.
"You're not okay, sister. Let us handle this. Save your strength for when we stab the bitch and end her for good."
"As long as you let me do the honors, it's fine by me."
That was it. Bela would pretend to be alright. She would pretend to forgive her mother. And when the time came, she'd get her revenge against Miranda.
But then... there was nothing left for her in this world. With Aleena gone, she lost her only chance of living a new and normal life. She lost the only thing that made her feel happy and human. And if the dagger could kill any monsters and demons, well... it would be able to kill her too.
Still holding Aleena's shirt against her body, Bela lay on the bed and fell asleep, thinking of the moment they'd be reunited again in death. However, she had a terrible nightmare. Aleena was dying in her arms and there was nothing she could do.
She got up and drank some water. It had been hours since Daniela left the room to search for the dagger. She wondered if something had gone wrong. Lady Dimitrescu would never agree with that plan. She was about to leave the bedroom when the red haired girl entered the room so excited she could barely breathe.
"Bela..." she panted, "I found her!"
"The dagger?!" Bela asked. "Where is it?"
"No! Aleena. She's alive in the dungeons!"
----------
Castle Dimitrescu, Dungeons - Present Days
I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see anything. The environment around me was different from everywhere I had been in the last few weeks, the air was humid but still suffocating. It also smelled terribly, like rotting flesh and blood. I tried to stand up but my leg was still badly injured. I wondered how long it'd take for the amulet to heal my body again. Maybe it only worked once. Or maybe it had to do with the fluid Cassandra injected on me before she threw me inside that nasty cell.
Speaking of Bela's sister, I was pissed. Truly pissed. It was no secret she never liked me, but I never thought she'd be able to betray her own sister like that. Telling Bela to go to their mother's office only to bring me to the dungeons was a low blow, even for her. And there was Mrs. Volkov too. I couldn't believe she was dead.
"H-Help... somebody help me..."
I tried to scream but the blood loss and the drug made me too weak. I had to find a way out. A way to regain my forces and escape that place.
It didn't take long for me to lose my conscience again. As much as I attempted to stay awake and hear any signals someone could be around, I just couldn't. I was trapped in that endless cycle of waking up for a few minutes, moan in pain and passing out again. That was it. The Mother Miranda bitch was certainly behind it. When the right moment came, she'd come and take me for the ritual. Drugged as I was, I wouldn't be able to fight it.
"Aleena!" I heard Bela's voice, approaching. Maybe it was just another hallucination. "Oh my god!"
The cell's door opened, allowing some light to enter. I was able to distinguish my girlfriend's beautiful face among all that darkness.
"It's okay, love. You'll be okay, I promise you."
I forced a small smile as she placed my head on her lap. Using a blade, she opened a small gash on her wrist and forced it into my mouth.
"Drink it," Bela ordered. "My blood is going to heal your wounds and the drug effects."
I felt my stomach twisting from the metallic taste of blood going down my throat. I definitely wasn't born to be a vampire. For a second, I thought I was going to throw up.
"Shhhh," she held me still as the nausea struck. "Just breathe. Hold it down and you'll be okay."
I did as she told. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, the nausea was slowly going away. Bela started to caress my face and I felt as some warm tears dropped on my forehead.
"Hey, I'm just a little beaten up," I assured her. "But I'm starting to feel better."
"I... I thought you were dead. My mother told me you were dead."
Why would Lady Dimitrescu do such a thing? Of course, she needed to make sure Bela wouldn't ruin Miranda's plans. She needed to convince her to not search for me.
I was already strong enough to sit. I hugged Bela very very tightly. She was sobbing desperately. Her heart was beating so fast inside her chest, it seemed like it'd explode at any moment.
"I'm so sorry," I kissed her forehead. "I'm here and I'm not leaving you ever again. I promise."
"You're the vessel, Aleena," Bela told me. "Your body is immune to the attacks of any creatures in the village. And now Miranda wants to use you to bring her daughter back to life. She believes your body is going to accept the mutation."
She also told me about my amulet. Miranda was the one to sell it to Auryk. I immediately ripped it off from my neck.
"I knew about being the vessel. I discovered it right after you left the bedroom. My father knew it and Auryk did too, this is why he wanted to get me out of the country so badly."
Bela wasn't listening to me. She was still staring at my face in disbelief, her eyes glistening with tears from the relief of finding out I was still alive. She cupped my face between her hands and pressed her lips on mine multiple times.
"I'm going to fix this," she was still crying. "I promise you. We have a plan to kill Miranda. There's a dagger hidden here in the castle, it can kill any monsters or demons. Daniela is searching for it, while Cassandra is distracting my m-," she hesitated to say that word, "my mother."
"Okay, but Cassandra was the one to kill Mrs. Volkov to capture me. We can't trust her at all!"
Of course. The bitch had more tricks I wasn't even aware of. She could shapeshift. Now I finally knew how my father was probably killed or how Auryk obtained that amulet from her. It was also obvious who attacked the castle that morning, Miranda was willing to test my healing properties again.
"She didn't. Mother Miranda can shapeshift into any person, this is why we need to be careful. We have this safe word, to know we're the actual Dimitrescu sisters. It's 'blowfly'."
I sighed and attempted to break the tension.
"And how do you know I'm the real Aleena?" I smiled.
"Trust me, love. I know," Bela kissed me, slowly and passionate. "Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing this. Imagine how disgusting it would be to kiss that crazy bitch."
We both broke into laughs. Then, she took my hand and helped me to stand up.
"We need to get you out of here. My mother can't know I've found you. Miranda is coming to pick you up at midnight for the ritual."
Through the secret passages we made to the stables, where Bela had already left my bags and a horse prepared to take me to the village.
"Once you get there," she told me. "Just drive as far as you can. Go to the city, find your brother and fly to United States."
And then I realized.
"But Bela... what about you?"
"I'm staying here, love. I'm going to kill Miranda, together with my sisters and Heisenberg."
"And then you'll meet me there, right?!" I raised my voice, fighting hard against the tears that insisted falling down. "You'll go to California."
She was in silence for a moment, trying to find the right words, but I already knew what she wanted to say. First, she handed me my cell phone.
"You said you wanted something to remember. Now you have plenty of pictures of me in this device of yours."
"Bela... what are you saying?"
"Let's be honest, Aleena," she looked down. "It was never a possibility and you knew it. We'd have to stop at the first temperature drop we came across. We probably wouldn't even make it to the airport."
"I said I'm going to find a way! It's Summer, dammit. It's not so cold away from the mountains and once we arrive in California, it'll be even hotter."
"You know your world would never accept me, love. Look at me, I have this nasty scar, this weird tattoo, I need to drink human blood to live..."
"STOP MAKING EXCUSES TO BREAK UP WITH ME! I'LL FIND A WAY! FOR ALL OF THIS. IF THEY CAN'T ACCEPT YOU, THEN FUCK THEM! I LOVE YOU AND IT'S ALL THAT MATTERS."
"I love you too," Bela kissed my forehead. "And this is why I'm letting you go."
"Even if I go, Bela," I argued, punching her shoulder slightly, "it doesn't have to end! I'm going to call you. I'm going to write you. And I'll come here to visit you too."
"In the first few weeks, love. Then, you'll become too busy to write. Our phone calls will become shorter because you'll be too tired. You'll disappear for a few days. We'll start to fade, little by little. And finally someday, you'll meet somebody new. Somebody who can make you laugh and distract you from your tragic past. Somebody who can take you to an actual date. Somebody you can introduce to your family and friends. Somebody who actually deserves you. Who can give you a future with marriage and children. Because she isn't dead. Because she isn't... me."
"I don't want any of this! I want you and only you. This future? We can have it! Here in this fucking castle or in my old small house. I don't care if I have to serve tables for the rest of my life, as long as I have you."
"You deserve a lot more than that."
"And so do you. What are you going to do, huh? To keep playing house with the woman who killed and turned you into a vampire? Serving her every wish and pretending you love this life? Or sleep with a different servant every week to hide the fact you're completely lonely and miserable?"
"Yes, Aleena. It has been this way for six decades now and it's not going to change. I have no choice, I'm sorry."
She vanished into a swarm of flies and disappeared, leaving me completely alone in the stables. I fell on my knees again, sobbing and screaming my lungs out.
"Bela, come back here!" I cried. "I love you! Please... come back..."
I still waited for a few minutes, but as I knew and as Mrs. Volkov always warned me, when Bela made a decision nothing would change her mind. Not even her mother or her sisters. Not even me.
----------
Castle Dimitrescu, Bela's Room - Present Days
"I'm hungry," Cassandra complained from the couch. "Pretty please... I'm helping you with the secret mission. A scrambled egg is enough."
"Tell Lady Dimitrescu to cook," Bela remained unmoved on her bed, staring at the ceiling while wearing Aleena's jacket. The one she borrowed her when the castle was attacked. It was the only memory she'd have from the woman she loved. "She was the one to kill all the servants."
Bela was listening to an old love song from the 60's. It was the one thing she was actually capable of doing in that moment. She couldn't even manage to create different scenarios about how she could kill Miranda inside her mind, or even wander around the castle searching for the cursed knife.
She knew Aleena had safely arrived in her house at the village. She sent one of her flies to follow her and observe her for how long it was possible. The girl was completely devastated, heartbroken and it killed her to see that. She could she glimpses of the moments where she sobbed while packing her bags and taking them to her old truck. But it was the best for both of them. She'd never be safe by Bela's side. Especially while Miranda was still around.
"This music is making me nauseous," Cassandra went to the disc player and turned it off. "You should've gone with her then."
"It was the safest for her. Mother would come after me immediately and take her back to Miranda's claws."
The brunette sister went to her own bedroom and returned with a book in hands, what surprised Bela because Cassandra wasn't much of a reader.
"Check this out. I asked the Duke to get you the sequel," and she started to read, adopting the same dramatic tone as usual. "As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worried — late in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defenses — that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them. Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to live — I had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed."
"Ha ha, very funny," Bela rolled her eyes. Deep down she absorbed those words. She feared someday she'd forget all those small details about Aleena too, but knowing she existed someday, and that she loved her back, was enough for her to be able to live for the rest of her immortal days. "Next time, get us something useful. Like that fucking dagger."
The door opened and Daniela walked inside, pushing a food cart.
"I brought us dinner," she announced.
"Did you kidnap a villager to cook for us?" Cassandra asked, immediately grabbing a plate.
"Of course not! I cooked it myself. If Bela can do it, I can too."
The two eldest sisters exchanged a suspicious glance, before deciding they were not so hungry after all.
"And here is the main dish..." Daniela said, lifting the lid and revealing the content inside the silver pan. "A poisonous dagger."
"You did it!" Bela exclaimed, surprised and proud.
"Yes! Let's chop that bitch to pieces."
Daniela hugged her eldest sister again. It was happening too often lately, for Bela's discomfort. But this time, she accepted the hug.
"Where's mom?" Cassandra interrupted the moment. "I haven't heard from her since I left her alone in her bedroom."
The castle was way too quiet. It wasn't the first time the servants had to be gotten rid of and they were completely by themselves. Or maybe sometimes, Lady Dimitrescu would lock herself in the Opera House to play the piano or even read a book alone in her bedroom, but that wasn't the case this time. That was a different kind of silence. A silence that indicated danger, a threat.
"Mother?!" Cassandra called, followed by her two sisters. "Where are you?"
There was no answer. They were about to reach the library when the power went out, as well as the heating system. A wave of panic instantly spread over Bela's body. She feared the cold, more than anything.
"What the hell?!" Daniela yelled. "Who's there? I'm starving and angry, so don't mess with me!"
"Shhhh," Bela silenced her. She had a feeling, a hunch about who could it be. As they approached the office, her suspicions were confirmed by the argument coming from inside the room.
"Where is she, Alcina?!" They heard Miranda yelling. "You promised me to keep her safe!"
"Mother, I swear... she was in the dungeons! There was no way she could escape. The drug was supposed to keep her down until now."
"Your daughters... they must've helped her to escape. Decades trying to find the perfect vessel and they ruined it all. They'll deal with the consequences!"
"Mother, no! Don't hurt them, I'm begging you."
In that moment, the sisters witnessed as a powerful flock of birds started to fly around the caste, shattering all the windows. As the cold air of the night in the mountains filled the entire place, the three sisters knew their ending was imminent.
----------
Eastern Europe, Aleena's House - Present Days
The tears blurred my vision as I followed my way back to the village. Sometimes, I'd stop for a minute, hoping Bela would change her mind and come after me. Why would she assume I was safer without her? If there was someone who could protect me, that was she.
As soon as I arrived, I went straight to the garage, getting my old truck to come back to life. Then, I followed to my bedroom to pack my bags. There wasn't much I actually needed to take, mostly my clothes, my laptop and a few other important belongings. I didn't plan to sell the house anyways. I could come back and take the rest later, if I had to.
My books. I would definitely take at least my favorites. Most of them were gifts from my mom. I couldn't leave those precious treasures behind. As I grabbed one of them to place it inside of my luggage, a small piece of paper fell on the floor:
'Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. Love alters not with time's brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom'.
I recognized it. It was an excerpt of William Shakespeare's Sonnet 116. Bela should've left it there when she was alone in my bedroom. In the end, she wrote: 'Please, think of me sometimes. I love you, forever'.
Of course I would. There was no way I'd ever stop loving that girl, or even forgetting about her at all. I could never forget about the girl who threw me the sweetest birthday party or made me the best pancakes in the world. And especially, the first girl I ever loved. I pressed the note against my chest, letting out a few tears. I placed it among my belongings, those I was going to take with me to California.
I heard the front door opening and I immediately grabbed my rifle and my blades too. Something had to at least cause some harm to that bitch. I was slowly going down the stairs in an attack position, when I heard a voice.
"Leena? Are you home?" That was my twin brother, Auryk. "I'm back."
"Auryk," I finally revealed myself. My first impulse was running to his arms, before I remembered all the lies and the betrayal. "You knew it. You fucking knew it and you hid it from me!"
"I'm sorry, okay? I was trying to keep you safe from Miranda. I planned to get you out of here before it all came to surface, but that bitch was already one step ahead."
"We have to go, right now. She's coming after me. I just escaped Castle Dimitrescu."
"Leena, no..." he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I thought I was clear when I asked you to stay in the castle until I returned."
"Auryk, she drugged me and locked me in the dungeons!" I yelled. "She was going to sacrifice me in a sick ritual tonight. Which part haven't you understand yet?"
"This was the plan, Aleena. When she was vulnerable, during the ritual, the agency would take the opportunity to explode this place and all these freaks."
"WHAT?! What about the village... and the people, their houses? What about ME?! What if I got killed in this process?"
"They're going to evacuate the village in a couple of hours," he explained. "And then, they'll help them to rebuild their lives or something... I don't know for sure. But they would protect us."
"Stop them!" I ordered. I couldn't let them hurt Bela or her sisters. Or even put the villagers in danger. Some of them, such as Olga, Elena and her father would never abandon that place and its traditions. "Right now! You're not going to hurt them. You won't!"
"Aleena, what the fuck? They're monsters! They're going to kill you!"
And then, I did the first thing that came to my mind. It was stupid, unplanned and completely reckless. I knocked my brother's head with the rifle. As soon as he fell unconscious on the floor, I tied him up and locked him inside Adrian's secret storage.
"I'm sorry, Auryk. But I must save my girlfriend."
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dothwrites · 3 years
Text
2020 Writing in Review
Well, it’s been a shitshow of a year, ain’t it? The one bright spot in this year was that it left me a ton of time for writing! With no further ado, here are the fics I worked on the year of our lord, 2020. 
---
the blood which we drew | Rated: M | Word Count: 7335 | COMPLETE
Castiel bears the Mark. And for a few months, it's fine.
It's fine until it isn't.
---
ramble on | Rated: E | Word Count: 26,875 | WIP
A series of Season 15 codas, crossposted to tumblr. Tags, Warnings, and Rating may change, based on source material.
(Technically started this in 2019, but I added to it this year, so I’m counting it)
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protect and serve | Rated: E | Word Count: 49,953 | COMPLETE
Police officer Dean Winchester's next assignment seems easy enough: a protection detail on Assistant District Attorney Castiel Novak, who's been receiving death threats in conjunction with the case that he's prosecuting. Dean's assignment is to keep ADA Novak safe, alive, and in one piece so that he can start his trial against Dick Roman, notorious CEO charged with the death of at least eight people.
With threats that quickly spin out of control, a missing teenage genius, Dean's attraction to Novak, and Novak's mercurial attitude towards Dean--Dean Winchester's next assignment is anything but easy.
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what stays (and what fades away) | Rated: E | Word Count: 64,421 | COMPLETE
Cas Novak’s life is perfect. He has a job that he loves and friends who support him. Most importantly, he has his husband, Dean Winchester, and his two adopted children, Claire and Jack. With them, nothing could ever go wrong.
That is, until he starts having flashes of a life that isn’t his and meets someone who shares his husband’s face but not his personality, someone who insists that he’s someone, something, different altogether. Cas’ life shatters when he’s dragged into a world that he doesn’t belong to and doesn’t understand.
Dean Winchester’s life was already shattered when he lost Castiel.
---
thunder road | Rated: E | Word Count: 20,883 | COMPLETE
After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.
OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.
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alone together | Rated: E | Word Count: 74, 239 | COMPLETE
Like the rest of the world, Dean Winchester’s job sent him home with the supplies necessary to work from home and a vague farewell of “We’ll see you when this all blows over”. Unlike the rest of the world, Dean Winchester is entering into a quarantine with Castiel Novak, his incredibly hot and incredibly uninterested roommate. How is Dean supposed to concentrate on his job while Cas is just a few feet away, being...well, Cas?
Castiel Novak was already working from home, so the news of social distancing doesn’t affect him that much. What does send him into a panic is the knowledge that Dean Winchester, his stunning and straight roommate, will also be working from home for the foreseeable future. After spending so long trying to distance himself from Dean, Castiel now has to face a future where Dean is present. All. The. Time.
They’ve got food, Internet, and all the toilet paper they need, but neither one of them is prepared for quarantine.
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for a sinner released | Rated: E | Word Count: 8,800 | COMPLETE
Testing his theory, he runs his fingers over the soft skin of Dean’s wrist, until his thumb is pressed firmly against Dean’s hammering pulse. Cas pulls, gently but inexorably, until Dean is forced to take a step forward. The shift in positioning pushes the barrel of the gun into his forehead.
Cold metal touches overheated skin, and Cas inhales sharply at the contrasting sensations. The gun is unforgiving, relentless, beautiful.
It’s like Dean.
---
and all this devotion | Rated: M | Word Count: 10,572 | COMPLETE
Dean’s not stupid. He’s seen the looks Cas has aimed his way, when Cas thought he wasn’t paying attention. He’s leveled his share of looks back at Cas when the angel’s attention was elsewhere. More than once, he’s been caught in the act. At this point, they’re both dancing around the same elephant, too scared and caught in their ways to make the first move.
OR: Dean gets hurt on a hunt. Cas takes care of him. There's only one bed. Confessions ensue.
---
lost in translation | Rated: T | Word Count: 3,720 | COMPLETE 
Cas bites at his lower lip, looking uncommonly shy. Worry starts to stir in Dean’s gut, which is only compounded when Cas says something else in soft yet clear Enochian. As the new phrase doesn’t have the word stupid anywhere in it, Dean doesn’t have the slightest idea of what Cas is saying. The guilt squirming in his stomach gets worse when Cas looks at him, with gentle anticipation, as though he’s expecting a reply. Dean does what humans have been doing since the beginning of time when confronted with a language they don’t understand and smiles, wide and sunny, at Cas. Cas’ forehead creases but he returns the gesture. His eyes are still brimming over with emotion and the sight does something to Dean.
Dean begins to suspect that he may have started something which he is not equipped to finish.
---
a new song about a new life | Rated: E | Word Count: 21,282 | WIP
There is no happily ever after. Mostly because there is no after. Life is just a series of days and nothing ever really ends. It just continues on, even after the curtain closes, and while the struggles might not be epic, they're no less impressive. Domestic life isn't without its pitfalls and trials, but at the end of the day, Dean and Cas still have each other and in the end, that's enough.
A series of timestamps detailing the small adventures of Dean and Castiel. Will contain teensy amounts of angst and a heap of fluff and domesticity.
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angel in black | Rated: E | Word Count: 95,325 | COMPLETE
Bounty hunter Castiel Novak has simple rules for how he conducts his business. Get in, get out, deliver the fugitive, and do it all with the least amount of effort possible. Never become emotionally involved.
When he takes on the job of hunting down Sam and Dean Winchester in order to bring them to justice, his rules start shifting. Threatened by supernatural forces as well as his attraction to Dean, Castiel soon has to decide what he’s willing to stand for…and what he’s willing to die for.
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ghosts that we knew | Rated: E | Word Count: 89,411 | COMPLETE
Dean can’t help it. Castiel’s laugh is infectious, washing over him and sweeping him up in its tide. His throat and stomach ache with the feel of it, unfamiliar muscles worked past their endurance. He hasn’t laughed like this in weeks, maybe years.
Cas doesn’t stop laughing, and Dean relishes it. It’s such a good sound, deep and throaty. It rumbles over him the same way that Baby’s engine purrs, to where he can almost feel it in his gut. Dean’s giddy, the kind of happy that hunters don’t get to feel, and if it weren’t for the ceiling, he thinks he might float away. Cas’ eyes crinkle when he laughs, and his smile goes wide and gummy. He’s so brilliant, so alive—
But you’re dead, Dean thinks helplessly. But you’re dead.
---
Castiel Novak is one of the best hunters Dean Winchester has ever worked with. He's witty, whip-smart, and has enough knowledge about the supernatural to rival an encyclopedia. He's got humor dry enough to put the Sahara to shame and he's pretty easy on the eyes as well. All in all, he's the best partner Dean could have hoped for.
Too bad he's dead.
---
the best of things | Rated: G | Word Count: 2,494 | COMPLETE
There’s something.
This is significant because, for as long as Castiel can remember, there’s been nothing. --- Castiel finds a way out of the Empty.
---
freedom | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,804 | COMPLETE
Freedom.
Dean rolls the word around on the tip of his tongue and tastes how it feels. Freedom.
It’s a strange concept, especially since he always assumed that he was. Ever since Apocalypse Version 1.0 was averted, Michael and Lucifer locked in the cage, thanks very much, he’s always assumed that he was the one calling the shots. No matter how badly he fucked up (and he fucked up a lot), he could at least take comfort in the fact that those were his choices. No one’s hand up Dean Winchester’s ass, no siree.
And then Chuck came and ripped that certainty away from him in one quick motion and then...everything was suspect. Sam, Mom, Jack...Cas. Every word, every action, every emotion... He couldn’t trust anything, so he trusted nothing.
--- OR: Dean makes a choice.
---
at the end of the world | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,631 | COMPLETE
Rebuilding Heaven is slow work, but time doesn’t really mean anything here. It’s delicate to rebuild the walls separating billions of souls so that nothing collapses. Castiel works alongside Jack, making suggestions as his mind trips along to potential problems.
Though it’s never said aloud, Castiel knows why Jack is working tirelessly. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, the knowledge sits that Sam and Dean are going to die. One day, they will pass from the earth, and come to Heaven, and on that day, Castiel wants everything to be perfect for them. He wants to show them a true paradise, a place without walls or barriers, a place where emotion is genuine and not just a manufactured memory. Rebuilding Heaven is his last chore, the last of his penance to be performed.
--- OR: Team Free Will gets the soft epilogue which they deserve.
---
let your heart be light | Rated: M | Word Count: 31,651 | WIP
It's Dean and Cas' first official Christmas together as a couple. What could possibly go wrong?
Just Cas' weird family, his own personal hang-ups about Christmas, Dean's persistent belief that the miracle of Christmas can heal all wounds, and meddling friends and family.
Have a Merry Christmas.
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serenasoutherlyns · 3 years
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Winding Me Up Ch. 3 - Frustrated
I've been reading lots of smut, so I wrote some honest to goodness smut. Forgive me if this is incoherent and/or completely unsexy. Also, these two are both switches and you can't change my mind. Idiots, pining for one another but saying nothing about it.
New chapter of Full of Surprises up soon, but probably after I finish the long fic I'm working on right now. It has Calex and an OFC/reader character!! Good times.
It's late here and I need to sleep. Sleep well with Calex scenarios in your head.
warning: light choking, d/s dynamics.
Casey Novak is infuriating.
Alex decided this a few weeks ago, specifically Friday, when Casey had worn a dress to work. A completely work-appropriate, knee-length black shirt dress with a pleated skirt and structured top, but a dress nonetheless. Alex saw her when she came in (almost always a couple minutes late) carrying two mugs of coffee, the skirt swished and the collar shifted as she shared a joke with one of their coworkers.
Alex had been utterly sidetracked at that moment, and got more flustered when Casey came into her office, smiled at her, and handed her the coffee. Alex was sure they must’ve shared some words, but her brain was not in that place, right then.
Instead, she’d been thinking about the black sheer patterned tights Casey had on underneath said enraging dress, certain that she’d seen them before in a different setting. She was thinking about the dress’s conservative but unbuttoned neckline, how she wanted to grab that collar and pull--
But, of course, it had been 9AM on Friday, and they were at work. Infuriating.
---
Casey cannot stand Alex.
This time, it’s a raise of her eyebrows, a twist of her lip, a bite of her pen. She knows she shouldn’t let herself watch Alex work, that it’s a recipe for, ahem, impropriety. Right now, though, she neither wishes to nor can resist the temptation. It’s late, and Casey is getting ready to go home and cook for once, but Alex fucking Cabot (the middle addition is apt) seems hell-bent on making her lose her mind. Casey can’t help herself, she raps on Alex’s door two times before walking in.
“Alex.”
“Casey?”
She doesn’t put her pen down or look up from her work.
“You.”
“Me?”
“You’re driving me insane.”
“That seems like your problem to deal with, Casey.”
“Or you could fucking stop.”
“You haven’t told me what I’m doing wrong.” Alex punctuates her sentence with a small smile, putting her pen down and looking up at the redhead, still standing in her doorway. Casey scoffs, rolls her eyes. Alex, for her part, does not have a clue what could be upsetting Casey. It has been a couple weeks since they’ve been able to get together, she guesses, maybe Casey feels ignored. Their lack of contact was initiated by Casey, so Alex doesn’t see why it would upset her so badly.
“Yeah. Ok Cabot, see you tomorrow,” Casey says, rolling her eyes and sighing as she turns around and leaves the office. Why she doesn’t see if Alex wants to see her, she isn’t quite sure in the moment. Maybe because she feels stubborn, wants Alex to make a move. Casey noticed a few weeks ago that Alex never sent the first text, that it was always Casey seeing if she wanted to get a drink, or, when she wasn’t in the mood for conversation, a simple “Come over?” would do the trick.
Casey stopped sending the first texts, and Alex never sent one. No wonder she feels angry. If only she wasn’t so intoxicatingly hot.
---
“You feel so good,”
Alex remembers Casey whispering in her ear the last time they saw one another at night, when she had her two of her gentle fingers buried deep in Alex. It would’ve made her collapse if Casey didn’t have her bent over a countertop, the cold stone against her cheek, stomach. They’d been in too much of a rush to bother undressing, or even making it to the bedroom. It had been one of those encounters where even the formality of a drink was too much in the way of what either of them wanted (though, if Alex is honest with herself, Casey can have her whatever way she wants whenever she wants, her achilles heel, Alex’s ordinary strength in interpersonal matters melts away when she gets her texts)
“Do you like it when I talk to you like that?” Casey asked. Alex whimpered in response. “Do you?” Casey had asked again. “I didn’t catch that.” She pulled her fingers almost all the way out, then thrust into her again with three this time. Alex gasped at the feeling, arching into Casey’s touch. “I said, do you like this, Alex? Do you like my fingers like this?” Alex let out another high-pitched whimper, and Casey pulled out completely. When Alex sunk limply against the counter, and onto her knees, her body aching with the need to be filled, Casey simply said, “Sorry Princess,” oh god, the nickname, “but you really should answer when someone asks a question. Manners are important.”
“Please, Casey.”
“Please what, Alex.”
“Please,” Alex said quietly, the smallest part of her still wanting to deny herself what she needed in the name of preserving her dignity (dignity that wouldn’t be diminished, even when she was a wet, begging mess on Casey’s kitchen floor) “Please fuck me, Casey.”
“Oh yeah? You want it? All you had to do was ask.”
---
“I want you quiet,”
Alex had whispered in her ear a month ago as Casey sat in her lap, Alex tracing her fingertips up and down her body, pressing harder where she knew Casey was sensitive. A day, Casey had noted, that was exactly a month after the first time they hooked up. Two months of whatever this was, tormenting her. She’d asked Alex to keep it completely casual at first, and Alex had agreed so emphatically that Casey didn’t want to broach the topic again. But, fuck, Casey thought. It’s getting hard to do that.
“And, sweetheart,” the nickname had caused Casey to dig her nails into Alex’s hip, suppressing a moan. “If you can’t be quiet, I will make you do so,” Alex said, dangling a gag from her fingertips before setting it down on her side table. Part of Casey wanted to scream and moan as loud as she could, wanting whatever discipline would come her way, but a larger part felt overcome with the need to do what Alex asked her to, to please her in any way she could. She nodded, swallowing.
“You remember the safeword? And what to do if you can’t talk?” Alex had asked. Casey nodded again, and when her head was looking down, she leant forward to kiss Alex’s neck.
“Hmm,” Alex said, “good idea. But not right now.” Alex slid her left hand up Casey’s body from where it had been resting on her thigh and gently placed it around her neck. When Casey gasped, Alex knew it had been the right choice for tonight. She applied the slightest pressure with the side of her thumb and Casey choked down a moan, eyes already watering from the effort of silence. Alex finally met Casey’s entrance with her fingers, Casey’s eyes rolling and chest flushing from how worked up she was. “I want you to ride them, Casey. Can you do that for me?” Casey lifted her hips up in response, Alex keeping her hand close to motionless. Casey sunk back down, slowly picking up the pace, but unable to get the kind of pressure she needed to get off, an infuriating kind of denial that Alex was enjoying all too much. Casey reached for Alex’s hand, pulling it from her neck and taking two fingers in her mouth to keep from screaming.
The sight was so perfect to Alex, that she almost never wanted it to stop. But, when she could tell Casey’s resolve was wearing thin at the dissatisfaction, She pulled both her hands away from the woman. Ignoring the look of disappointment in Casey’s eyes, she repositioned them so that Casey was leaning her back against Alex. She reached around her waist and entered Casey again, circling her clit with her other hand, finally pushing Casey over the edge, amazingly quiet as she muffled herself with her own hand.
As Casey came down from her orgasm, Alex wrapped her hands around Casey’s lap, holding her down tightly.
“Such a good girl, Casey.”
---
This time, Alex enters.
Another late night at the office has her feeling dejected, disoriented, and hungry.
For what, though. Hoping she and Casey are truly the only two left tonight, she runs her nails along Casey’s window two times before pushing the door open.
“Freak,” Casey says, immediately looking up from her laptop. Alex only shrugs in response, knowing that Casey has grounds to say something like that.
“You’re mad at me,” Alex states, doesn’t ask.
“Did I say that?”
“Fuck Case, I’m not in the mood for playing around right now. What did I do to you.”
Casey looks at her in stunned silence, wondering why Alex had decided that now was the time and here was the place to bring this up.
“I assumed you weren’t interested when you didn’t text.”
Alex feels a swell of anger rising inside her. “That is what this is about? I didn’t text you back?”
“Usually, not speaking to someone indicates that you don’t care about them.”
“Or that you don’t want to come off as clingy. Really, Casey?”
“Yes. I realized I was always the person asking you out and didn’t do it to see if you would. You didn’t and it’s been like two weeks, so I imagined you probably weren’t missing me all that much.’
Alex placed her hands in her pockets, guilty, sad, turned on, and furious.
“Really Novak?” She said, her tone cold and cruel.
“Yes, that is what happened.”
Alex makes an incredulous noise, lifts her head up as though to leave, but hears Casey call her back in.
“Look. I’m not mad, Cabot. I’m just painfully stubborn.”
Alex considers whether or not to accept her apology, but eventually does. She lowers the blind on Casey’s door and leans in for a kiss, pushing Casey down to sit on her desk. She deepens it, her tongue pressing firmly as she feels Casey bit her lip.
So, that’s where tonight was going to go. Excellent.
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wrong
pairing: stanley barber x reader
warnings: drug use (of course), spoilers for season finale, arguments, cursing
word count: 2.2 k
synopsis: in which stanley is in love with his best friend, and y/n has had enough of the distance.
Stanley Barber remembers vividly the first time he ever got high.
He was barely 13 when he found his father's stash in the old china chest in the corner of the dining room, and it took him a couple months to gather the courage to actually use it. His mother was gone, claiming to be at the neighbor lady's house for a "wine night"; he later found out that she went there to sleep with the neighbor lady's husband. He couldn't blame her for the affair, though.
Looking back on that night, he sounds a little pitiful. He was by himself, coughing and choking on the burning smoke. He laughed and talked to himself until he passed out, content and calm. It wasn't an overwhelming high, or an exhausting high, or even a powerful high, but he would never forget that night.
The next morning, he woke up with a foggy mind, burning eyes, and a wide smile. He strutted proudly out of his house that morning, his satchel dragging behind him, and quickly caught up to his neighbor, Y/N, who had her baggy hoodie bundled in her arms, wrapped tightly around her middle as she sluggishly walked down the wet sidewalk. He remembers the sour look on her face, her eyes downcast and heavy as she grumbled about how early it was. She gave him an incredulous look when he told her about his escapades the night before; she didn't believe him. A part of him was offended when she started laughing, brows cocked with judgment in her eyes.
"I swear," he said. "I'll prove it to you."
She just rolled her eyes, nudged him with her elbow, and scoffed.
"Sure, Stan."
Later that night, he took her to the basement, offered her a joint, and the rest is history.
That was also the night that Stanley Barber finally admitted to himself that he liked Y/N.
He knew that night they first got high together. He knew when he saw that blissful smile on her lips, when her nose scrunched up when she laughed, and when she fell asleep on his arm, features happy and carefree and relaxed. He knew when they woke the next morning, her eyes swollen with sleep, that he would do anything to see her that happy again.
Now that he's (almost) a man and in high school, he can assuredly say that he loves her.
But Stanley Barber, to put it lightly, is weak, riddled with anxiety and self-doubt, so he's never had the courage to tell her how he feels. Every weekend for the past three years, he has wanted to confess his undying love for her, like in the movies. He's thought about it so many different ways; maybe one night he would hold a boombox outside her house, or he would just gather the courage to kiss her. He dreamed of her, holding his hands one night after getting high, and while he was rambling about the meaning of life, she would cut him off by kissing him, her lips tasting like weed and Oreo's and something that is just uniquely her.
But that never happens.
In his junior year of high school, he is confident for once in his life, and he asks Syd out. He never really considered why he wasn't nervous when he asked Syd out. Perhaps, it was because he was certain she wouldn't say no, or, and this is the more likely scenario of the two, he didn't really care if she shot him down. He didn't care if Sydney refused his advances because she wasn't really the one who he had feelings for; she wasn't the one who occupied his every thought. Sydney wasn't the one who held his heart. God, that sounds stupidly sappy. He hates himself for even thinking that.
But he could learn. He could learn to love her as much as he loves his best friend.
Or at least that's what he tells himself.
Nevertheless, he started seeing more and more of Sydney Novak and less of Y/N. He tried not to notice, but he did. (Of course, he did). Y/N would claim to have to stay in class for lunch to finish a project, and then, she started walking home after school instead of riding home with him. Soon, she stopped showing up to their weekend hangouts, which were once filled with smoke, laughter and blissful stories.
It was a good thing, he told himself over and over. It was a good thing. He needed to get out of that relationship. It was starting to take a toll on his mental health. He eventually started to push Sydney into the void that Y/N once had.
When Sydney told him about her mind powers or whatever, it was just another thing to distract him.
That's all everything was anymore: a distraction from his feelings.
Then, it all went to shit. All those distractions and excuses he made came crumbling down.
It's the night of Homecoming. Sydney left him for Dina as soon as they got there, but he didn't expect any different. Y/N isn't there; no one asked her, and he hadn't bothered seeing if she would want to go with him and Sydney, since she hadn't bothered talking to him for the past weeks, even though it was basically his fault. He doesn't dwell on that thought. Then, Bradley pushed Sydney too far, and well... he lost his head. The drive home is a blur of sirens, flashing lights, and blood. He couldn't find Sydney.
He comes home that night to see Y/N lying on his bed, feet propped up on his pillow with too-big socks slipping off her heels. She doesn't move when he kicks his shoes off, unbuttons his shirt; she doesn't look at him, not even when he slips under the covers beside her.
"How was your night?" He asks, but she doesn't answer, the sound of her shallow breaths being the only sound in the room, besides the buzzing from the old lights by the bar. He sighs. "My night was great. Thanks for asking."
He wants to burst, anger and insecurity making it hard for him to breath. He wants so badly to tell her everything: what's been going on with Sydney, with Bradley; he wants to scream until his lungs give out because he just feels like no one can hear him, or even notice him for that matter. He wants her to know how much he wishes she was with him tonight, how she makes things easier for him. He just wishes she could understand, but she won't, and she never will. Why? Because he is a scared little boy, and that's all he'll ever be.
"Don't be a dick, Stan," she mutters, words slurring together slightly.
"How high are you?"
"Too high," she answers, trying to keep her composure. That's when he notices her legs twitching, her barely open eyes, a half eaten Cosmic Brownie and a crumpled water bottle on the ground.
"Do you need to throw up?" He asks tiredly, knowing how she can get when she's had too much, and, judging by her sluggish movements, she's nearly there.
"No." She says.
They sit in silence, and for the first time in the history of their friendship, it's awkward.
"I'm mad at you," she says suddenly. "I am very angry with you." Her voice breaks toward the end. He can't see it, but a tear slips down Y/N's cheek, wetting her hair.
He never noticed how much of an effect it had on her when he left. Stan was her only friend, and the fact that he left her alone for some other girl made her understand how fragile she feels without Stan beside her. She hates how dependent she is on him, so she did what any other person would do: pushed herself away. She always thought that it was always going to be just her and Stan, but she was sorely mistaken. It was petty, really. It started off with little things, like being snippy whenever he brought Syd up; then it escalated, and it eventually got to the point where she would leave whenever Sydney was going to come over.
When Stan told her that he and Sydney slept together, it was over.
Y/N hated how many tears she cried for him. She hated the fact that she was never good enough for him. She hated having those stupid memories with him, and she hated the fact that she still loved him. Despite the fact that he seemed to care so little about their friendship, despite the pain he put her through, she couldn't get him out of her head; she couldn't sleep without dreaming of him, and her days were plagued with thoughts of him.
And it broke her to see him so happy with someone else.
So, she cut herself out of his life completely because surely, she would be fine on her own, right?
Once again, she was mistaken.
Despite how hurt and resentful she was, she could not stay away.
"Why? Is that why you've been avoiding me? I haven't seen you in weeks, and now, you come around when you need a hit. And you break into my room and use my stash. What the hell, Y/N? You're angry with me? I should be angry with you," he spits, sitting up quickly.
She shakes her head, breathing out through her nose. She turns onto her side, facing away from him. He feels his face heat up, anger and frustration seeping through every pore, but behind all that—the hurt and the resentment—he feels empty and broken.
"Fucking look at me, Y/N," he grits out, his emotions getting the better of him. Stanley has always been a picker; he pushes and pushes until he gets a reaction out of the person. He did the same with Sydney at the bowling alley (and he nearly got his head taken off) and he does the same with his father. Maybe it's to get a reaction or attention.
"Why are you angry with me? Huh?" He asks again, poking her and pulling at her arm to make her look at him.
"What is wrong with me?" She sits up suddenly, making them nose-to-nose. Stan visibly recoils, brows furrowing and lips twitching. She looks tired, her shoulders sagging.
"What?"
"What is so wrong with me, huh?" Her bottom lip trembles, and tears swell in her red, hooded eyes. "I have been with you through everything, with your dad, your mom—" She looks down at her trembling hands, snot dripping from her nose. She wipes it away with the sleeve of her sweater, sighing weakly. "Then, suddenly, that's not enough, and you ditch me for Sydney fucking Novak, and you—you..." The words die on her tongue, and she looks so sad, her lips puckered to keep from crying any more. "You kiss her and hug her and—" She swallows, pain etching her features. She curls into herself, hugging a knee to her chest. "What is so wrong with me?"
Stan is in absolute awe. He wants to pull her into his arms and sink into the comforter, kissing her, but he can barely move, his heart racing in his chest. He stutters, looking for the right words. This is it; this is the moment he has been waiting for. The past three years he has dreamed of her baring her heart to him, professing her undeniable love for him, but he can't even speak. He is, for once in his life, completely at a loss for words. Whether from frustration or elation, he doesn't know, but he can feel tears forming in his eyes, nose burning and skin clammy. He lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding on to, his heart racing.
He shakily puts his hands to the crook of her neck, holding onto her warm skin like a lifeline. He looks down at her lips; they're tucked into her mouth, teeth biting at them nervously. His thumb traces the bottom lip, easing it out from her teeth. She looks at him with anxious eyes, wide and pleading for him to make a move.
And he does.
He kisses her.
It's not what he expects, really. There isn't any fireworks or chills, and it doesn't leave him gasping for breath. No, in fact, it feels like he's breathing for the first time; it fills him with warmth and security and such relief. And as she holds onto him, her arms wrapped tightly around his middle, he has never felt more at home. He has never felt so content and peaceful.
"Absolutely nothing," he says after they pull apart, resting his forehead against hers. It feels like there has been a weight lifted off his shoulders. He runs his thumb over her cheek, wiping away tear marks from her skin. She sniffles, leaning into his touch. He kisses her nose, a wide smile creeping over his features.
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."
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txylorwrjtes · 4 years
Text
I’ve got you, sweetheart: Part 1
Pairing: Dean x reader
Warning(s): Mentions of abuse, actual abuse both physical and mentally, angst, crappy stepfather, brainwashed mother 
Character(s): Mary Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak, OC!Paul Y/L/N, OC!Blayke Y/L/N, Y/N Y/L/N
Summary: Your mother marries an extremely abusive man, who abuses you to the point you get brain damage. You have a hard time with speech and learning all of the things you already learned before, but you have Dean by your side to help you every step of the way.
Word count: 2,515
I’ve got you, sweetheart masterlist
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You should have been used to this by now. The pain that you were feeling, you should have known that it would never go away unless you had informed your boyfriend of five years, Dean Winchester and his brother, Sam of what your stepfather was doing to you weekly. It was once a week that your stepfather would beat you to the point where he would leave you bruised. When your old bruises would begin to fade away, he would make sure that there were new ones.
Paul was your stepfather's name. Paul Y/L/N.
Now, Paul wasn't always this way. Of course, he was mentally abusive two months after your mother had started dating him. That's all he ever was. And he was only mentally abusive towards her. And even though he was such an evil man, he still believed in God and how a couple should never live together unless they are married.
You were just barely packing up to move into the bunker your boyfriend and his brother lived in. But of course, all of your plans came crumbling down when Paul had walked into yours and your mother's life.
Your mother was blind, didn't see what he was doing to her and even though you kept trying to get her to see what he was doing to your mother, she still wouldn't see. She wouldn't even listen and they ended up getting married.
That's when he began getting physical. With the both of you. Because he knew he had you both trapped inside of the house you once called a home. You couldn't leave with him in the house, not even to spend an hour with Dean, who began asking questions of what was going down at your house, wondering why you both couldn't see each other. But you brushed it off with a simple lie, knowing that you couldn't tell him anything because you knew it would just anger Paul more when he found out about what all you have told your boyfriend.
Dean was tough, he was protective. Especially when it came to you. Which is why you couldn't tell him anything.
Who knows what would he would do to your stepfather. Or worse, what your stepfather would do to Dean if he threw the first punch. Paul would play victim, accuse Dean of abusing you and have him thrown into jail no matter what you say to try and get him out.
You subconsciously ran the tips of your cold fingers along the big bruise on your side as you entered the bunker. Your mother and Paul had left the house to go to dinner. They would have taken you with, but you put your best acting skills to the test and pretended that you were sick just to get out of going. You knew it would be a risk, but when they had left, you snuck out of the house and ran all the way to the bunker. It was thirty minutes away by foot, but you didn't care. You just needed to see Dean.
As you made your way down the stairs that lead to the map room, you noticed that almost all of the lights were off except for the library. You furrowed your brows as you made your way into the room. The brothers should have been in Dean's mancave by now, watching the Sunday football game and enjoying a couple of beers, so you wondered who was in the library by now.
You made your way further into the room, but stopped in your tracks when you heard a familiar voice speak your name. Although it was familiar, you still jumped when your boyfriends mother, Mary Winchester, had spoke up behind you.
You placed your hand over your beating heart, relieved to know that it wasn't anybody else, knowing very well that Paul and your mother, who's name is Blayke, could've followed you here without you even realizing.
"I'm sorry, I just-.." You found yourself choking up on your words as you let out a breath. Mary gave you a concerned look, stepping closer towards you as your shoulders just started to shake as you sobbed. "I'm sorry." You repeated, covering your face as the tears dripped down your face.
Mary's concern turned to worry as she helped you sit down into one of the chairs. That's when she noticed the bruise on the right side of your face, just below your eye. She noticed that you had tried covering it up with make up, but the make up didn't do you justice, which she was glad about. "Oh, sweetheart." She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she gently brushed her fingers along your bruise. You flinched at the touch. "I'm going to get the boys, alright? You just stay here."
So you did just that, watching as she headed out of the library. It's not like you had anywhere else to go. Or that you wanted to go anywhere else. You wanted to be at the bunker, where the safety was in Dean's arms.
It was a few minutes until all three Winchester's came into the library, with Castiel, your angel friend.
"Baby.." You turned your head you heard Dean speak up. He was making his way around the table and to you as you stood onto your feet. He engulfed you into his arms, allowing you to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. "I missed you so much. Are you okay?" He questioned you as he pulled away. He cupped your face and examined the bruise on your face. His mother wasn't kidding when she told the boys how bad of a bruise it was. "What happened, who did this to you?"
You inhaled a deep breath as you played with the bracelet around your wrist. You cursed yourself for not covering up your bruise better, but maybe this was a sign. If all four of them knew about what your stepfather was doing, they could all help.
"Paul." You admitted. You watched as Dean's face fell into anger.
”Paul?" Sam repeated the name, curiosity rising in his voice. "As in the man your mom married?"
Biting down on your bottom lip, you nodded your head yes. You heard Dean sigh loudly, bringing his fingers up to his temple to massage it as Castiel came around the table, bringing two fingers to your forehead, he healed you, easing you from the pain your stepfather had given you.
"Sweetheart, why don't you come live with us?" Dean questioned. You turned down moving in with him once before because of Paul's beliefs, but he never knew why.
You shook your head, sitting yourself down onto the table. "I can't.." You said. Dean raised a brow up, wondering why you couldn't move in with him. "Paul believes that it's wrong to move in when you're not married to the person you are with. If I go back home to pack my bags, he'll just start beating me."
"Paul believes in that, yet he's an abusive son of a bitch?!" Dean's voice was growing angrier now as his hands balled up into fists. You could almost see the fire in his eyes. "No, you and I are both going back to your house and we are packing up your things. I will fight him if I have too."
You opened up your mouth to stop your boyfriend, but it was too late as you watched him march out of the library, heading to the garage. You let out a sigh, saying goodbye to the other three all before following Dean out to the garage as you hoped that goodbye wouldn't be for forever.
~~~
Dean pulled the Impala up your house, you could see that your mother and Paul were now standing outside on the front lawn. A look of pure anger was stretched across Paul's face, but that didn't seem to stop Dean from quickly getting out of the car and heading up to the man. A gasp escaped your mouth as you watched him throw a punch directly at his jaw, sending him to the ground.
You got yourself out of the Impala, even though Dean had told you to stay in the car while he went and got all of your stuff out of the house as the Winchester dropped down onto your stepfather and continuously decking the older man in the face. You screamed for him to stop, all though you wanted so badly for him to continue.
You grabbed ahold of Dean's arm and pulled him to his feet. He was breathing heavily from the anger that had been expressed. Your eyes trailed up to Paul's face as he got himself up from the ground. He wiped at his nose, which Dean had made bloody from the constant punches he threw at the man.
"What the hell is your problem, son?" Paul asked, acting as if he had done nothing wrong to anger Dean.
"No, what the hell is your problem?!" Dean yelled at the man, stepping closer towards him. "You laid your hands on my girlfriend, Blayke's blooded daughter. You abused her and left her bruised all over her body!" He pointed out the things that the older man had done to you. You didn't see it coming when He reached his arms out and grabbed Paul by the collar, pulling him dangerously close to him, his eyes burned into his. "And for that, she is coming to live with me, whether you like it or not."
Blayke stepped into the fight, stopping it before it could get any worse as she pushed the men apart. "That's enough, Dean Winchester!" She said. What she said next left you shock. "You're the one who has been constantly beating at our daughter, so do not blame my husband for this!"
"Are you hearing yourself, Blayke?" Dean found himself growing angry with your mother now. He would never lay a hand on you. You and his family knew that he loved you too much to ever hurt you. "Y/N has told me everything! How this bastard" He pointed over towards Paul, "mentally abused you, and then had started physically abusing the both of you when the two of you got married. He's gotten into your fucking head!"
"Nobody has gotten into my head." Blayke said, crossing her arms over her chest as she blatantly lied to protect her abusive husband. You felt tears welling up in your eyes at what she was saying, you couldn't believe it. "I know what you do to my daughter and I do not want you around my house. You come near the three of us again, I will call the cops on your ass. Trust me."
In that moment, you felt your heart sink to your stomach as Dean turned his head back to you. You knew his history with cops, how he constantly got arrested for trying to save the world. But nobody knew that he was a hero. They'd believe your mother and Paul over him at any time. You felt yourself being jerked back to your mom and your stepfather as you watched Dean walk away slowly, as if he didn't want to go, but he had no choice.
You screamed for him to turn around as Paul began dragging you back into the house you didn't want to be trapped in anymore. Your vision blurred with tears as you kicked at the man, punched at him, crying for Dean to come back. This was not what you wanted.
Everything felt like slow motion as you heard the front door slam and the sound of the Impala's engine roaring to life all before it drove away. You felt yourself being dropped to the ground all before you got yourself to your feet and began running to the door. But Paul grabbed ahold of you, dragging you to your room, where you were going to get another beating for getting Dean involved in the mess your stepfather had created.
~~~
It had been an hour of fighting with both your mom and your stepfather, you were screaming at your mom for being the lying bitch that she was, telling her that Paul had gotten inside of her head because that's exactly what happened. And it only angered Paul more as he continued to beat at you.
You let out a cry of pain as you laid on your bedroom floor, holding onto your stomach as he continued to kick at it. They weren't just any kicks, they were kicks out of pure hatred. They were hard and bruising, making you feel as though every bone in your body was broken. You found yourself screaming for Castiel, praying that he could hear you as you curled yourself up into a ball, sobs wracking through your body.
"Oh, shut the fuck up."
Paul practically spit out the words as he did something he wasn't thinking straight of; he kicked you hard in the head. Maybe he was thinking, though, considering how he continued to kick you until you were completely knocked out. All signs of your body not moving as your whole world went black.
And as though it wasn't an issue, the man left your room, doing the mistake of slamming the door shut behind him. That's when Castiel had appeared.
The angel looked down at you. "Y/N." He spoke your name in a whispered tone, hoping you could hear his voice. He hoped you would make movement. But when you didn't, he crouched down and pressed two fingers against the crook of your neck. You were still breathing, but you were unconscious and there was no way he would be able to heal something so severe, considering how his powers were weak at the moment.
So, he did what he could by teleporting you into the backseat of the Impala that was three houses down from yours.
The Winchester brothers both turned to look at you. Dean's heart broke at the sight of you. He had gone to the police station to tell the cops everything, and then went back to the bunker to get his brother and Castiel. He was going to come back and get you with the help of the other two men. He didn't even think this would have happened to you while he did all of this.
"She's still breathing." Castiel informed the brothers when he saw the worried looks stretched across their faces. "But we need to get to the hospital and fast."
Dean nodded his head, turning around slowly in his seat, he gripped tight onto the wheel and let out a breath to keep himself from crying as he began driving, heading the hospital where you would be taken care of. He just hoped it wouldn't be too late.
He somehow felt a bit relieved when he saw red and blue flashing lights appear and a police car turning into the neighborhood, heading to your house to arrest the cruel man you called your stepfather.
~~~
Next part || I’ve got you, sweetheart masterlist
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notfunnydean · 4 years
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Pairing: Dean Winchester / Castiel Rating: Explicit Warnings: meet-cute, Omegaverse, Alpha!Dean, shy!Dean, Omega!Cas, sassy!Omega, true mates , John is an Asshole, topping from the bottom, top!Dean, Bottom!Cas, sub!Dean, dom!Cas, knotting, heat/rut, mpreg (only mentioned at the end) Word Count: 4.602 Challenge: Classic Bingo Summary: Castiel had just moved into his new shitty apartment when, to top it all, someone crashes through his ceiling right into his living room. Castiel is not amused and angry at the Alpha, but it turns out first impressions can be very wrong and the shy Alpha does seem cute. Prompt: crashing through a ceiling For: @hectatess​  Link (if posted on AO3):  https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915297
Castiel sighs loudly.
He wanted a new start in his life and this is what he gets. He carefully puts down another cardboard and looks around. He’s living here for almost a month by now but it doesn’t get better.
The apartment is just horrible.
But that is what you get as a single Omega. Castiel had called so many landlords the last months and he always got declined. Nobody wants a single male Omega in their houses, because apparently they are too much trouble.
“Trouble.” Castiel growls. He is annoyed. He would’ve had enough money for a cute little apartment in the city. Hell maybe he could even rent something bigger for himself. But no. Instead he has this hell hole.
“I hate it here.” Castiel mumbles as he opens the cardboard. He didn’t get to unpack everything yet, to be honest, mostly because he had hoped that he would find something different.
He knows exactly why he pretends to be an Alpha in his work life at least. Castiel loves to write books, but as an Omega nobody would buy his book so soon enough he had worked out a deal with his publisher that they sell his books as an Alpha.
Castiel publishes his books as Jimmy Novak the Alpha and they sell well. He mostly writes love stories and if people knew that he’s an Omega, then people would just pity the poor little Omega who dreams of love.
Since people think he’s an Alpha, lots of Omegas buy his books and swoon over him. Castiel sighs loudly. He’d never really believed in love stories in real life, but sometimes in his quiet moments alone he dreams about his own.
Castiel shakes his head at his thoughts and wanders off to his bathroom to look after his laundry. Here the tiles already come off and just as Castiel opens his washing machine, a loud crash comes from his living room.
Castiel’s heart almost stops.
He needs a moment, before he gets up on shaky legs and walks back to his living room, scared of what he might see there. At first he only sees all the dust and he gets angry at his damn landlord again.
But then he sees there is someone in his apartment, awkwardly sitting on his butt in his living room and then he sees the huge hole in his ceiling. Castiel gasps loudly and then looks back to the man.
An Alpha clearly, maybe a bit too ‘pretty’, but just as he wants to try to smell him, all the dust settles in his nose and he sneezes loudly. The Alpha looks up at him and Castiel growls when he sees his new shelf with all his books is broken too.
*
Dean groans and for a moment he doesn’t even know what happened. He had put the dumbbell down his father had given him and in the next moment, he was sitting one floor lower. 
It looks like a living room and Dean blushes already at the thought that he just crashed in someone’s apartment. He had told his landlord more than once, that the apartment was getting too old, but Zachariah had never really cared.
Just as Dean wants to get up, he realizes that his ankle throbs badly. Fuck. Okay at least the dumbbell had fallen down next to him and… directly on a bookshelf. Dean gasps at all the broken wood at him.
Just as he looks up, he hears a deep growl. Dean swallows and looks into the bluest eyes he had ever seen. Dean’s face gets even a deeper shade of red and he opens his mouth to just say something.
“Thank you, for destroying all my work.” The man growls even louder now and Dean wishes he could hide somewhere. He’s clearly an Omega, but Dean had never in his life heard an Omega growl.
“Uh I’m s-sorry. I just uhm… I’m Dean and I live uh… there.” Dean points stupidly at the ceiling and the blue eyes squint with so much anger at him.
“Do I look like I care? You destroyed my books! Those are the first printings.” The Omega says and points at the books around him. Most are just a bit wrinkled but not completely destroyed, Dean feels ashamed anyway.
“Oh I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to put down my… wait you are Jimmy?” Dean asks, surprised when he takes one of the books. Jimmy Novak, his favorite author. Sometimes Dean really hates his life.
“No. I mean yes, I write them but my name is Castiel.” The omega says and Dean doesn't look up. Still focused on the book in his hands and he carefully strokes over the thick green binding.
“You’re my favorite author.” Dean whispers, mostly to himself but then he hears the deep inhale from Castiel.
“You’re an Alpha.” Castiel says and Dean shrugs awkwardly. His father would probably kill Dean if he would know that Dean reads love stories alone at night. Castiel seems not disgusted but shocked at least.
“I know.” Dean answers quietly and Castiel sneezes loudly again. Dean looks up when he smells something else than an angry Omega. It smells like dark and rich coffee with honey and Dean’s body reacts badly.
This is his true mate. Castiel smells like his true mate. Sure the smell is still mostly sour but Dean just knows it.
Since his mother had told him about true mates as a pup, Dean had always dreamed about his Omega. He couldn’t wait and now he finally sits in front of him. Dean’s inner Alpha winces at the situation.
He made a fool of himself in front of his true mate, but his heart still swells two sizes.
“You’re my true mate.” Dean blurts out.
“What?”
“I… I think you’re my true mate.” Dean says again, but Castiel doesn’t look happy. He looks even more angry and Dean curls almost more into himself. Castiel huffs and Dean’s stutters even before he says more.
“Listen, I don’t care. I would never date some stupid Alpha and unlike in my books I don’t believe in true mates either, so how about you finally leave my apartment?” Castiel growls out.
Dean’s Alpha whimpers.
Rejected. He has been rejected.
From his true mate.
Dean is sure that his blood freezes and carefully gets up. He really should leave now before he embarrasses himself even more. His ankle throbs again, but Dean ignores it, he doesn’t want any pity.
“I’m sorry.” Dean says and means both that he destroyed Castiel’s books but also that fate gave Castiel an Alpha like Dean.
“Whatever.” Castiel says and he picks up some of the books. Dean hastily puts the one he is still holding on the small coffee table.
“Do you… I mean I could help with your ceiling.” Dean offers at least, because he is the one who broke it. As a kid he often helped his father with tasks like that, so he could probably really help.
“No thanks. I think you did enough.” Castiel says, sneezing again and Dean swallows. God his true mate even hates his smell. Dean can smell himself, feeling so embarrassed that his smell turned extremely sour.
“But I’ll send you the bill.” Castiel says and Dean nods in agreement. Seems fair enough. Dean takes his dumbbell and hastily leaves. Well as soon as his ankle lets him. 
Castiel stays quiet and Dean never felt more humiliated in his life.
*
“Thank you really.” Castiel says and he waves towards the guys who fixed his ceiling. He hadn’t heard the Alpha all day, even though Castiel had been in his living room the whole time.
Then again the repair work was pretty loud.
Castiel hadn’t slept well. True mates. Dean had said that they were true mates. Castiel really had never believed in that, but Dean had looked so crushed and something inside Castiel had hated that sight.
“Okay.” Castiel says to himself and he takes the bill. He would give it to Dean anyway, because it was the Alpha’s fault in the end. Castiel’s stomach protests loudly and Castiel sighs.
Maybe he did want to see the Alpha again? He wasn’t sure.
Castiel takes his time and uses the stairs to get upstairs. Dean’s door is painted in a lot of colours and there are stickers on it as well. It looks adorable and for a second Castiel isn’t sure if it’s the right door.
Then he hears some yelling coming outside the apartment.
Just as Castiel wants to turn around the door opens loudly and there is another Alpha standing in the door. He looks incredibly angry and intimidating, but luckily he hadn’t seen Castiel so far.
“But Dad…” 
Castiel sees Dean now behind the huge Alpha, who seems to be his father. Dean is pretty tall himself, he has a few inches on Castiel, but he looks small like this. Looking down. Castiel sees that his ankle has a splint.
“I don’t want to hear your excuses Dean. You got rejected from your true mate and everyone can smell it. You are nothing but a disappointment. No Alpha would let himself be treated like this and you are embarrassing our whole family!” Dean’s father yells through the whole corridor. 
Dean stays quiet, nodding in obedience. 
The big Alpha turns around, ignoring Castiel completely as he storms past him. Dean’s father smells disgusting, but Castiel can smell something else. Dean. His rejection is heavy in the air and Castiel frowns at himself.
“Dean.”
Dean seems surprised to see him standing there on the floor and Castiel hopes they can both ignore the scene Dean’s father had just caused.
Castiel had thought Dean had lied about the true mates thing. So many Alphas tried that trick on him before to get him in their bed. Maybe Dean meant it. Too bad he can’t smell him like this, the rejection too strong.
But that could just be because Castiel rejected him without them being true mates. Maybe Dean took things like that to his heart.
“I have your bill.” Castiel says and Dean’s eyes widen for a tiny moment. He really has pretty green eyes and Castiel even takes his time to look at Dean’s freckles. It’s unfair for an Alpha to be that gorgeous.
“O-oh yeah. Uhm thank you.” Dean says and he takes the bill. Castiel ignores how his fingers shake. 
Dean looks at the bill and Castiel feels almost bad, because he knows how expensive it is. Maybe he should have given it to his landlord instead, but he knows the asshole would never pay that.
“Can I… I mean. It will probably take me a bit to pay for this.” Dean says softly and Castiel is really surprised at that. He can’t even be mad.
“Are you jobless?” Castiel blurts out and Dean shakes his head. He’s smiling a bit and Castiel has to say he really likes that smile. He looks adorable.
“No but I’m a kindergarten teacher and I don’t make so much money.” Dean admits and Castiel’s eyes widen. An Alpha as a kindergarten teacher. That is pretty rare but it also means that Dean has to be really sweet.
And Castiel had yelled at him.
Dean seems to take his silence the wrong way and hastily says goodbye before closing the door. 
But Castiel had seen his wet eyes.
*
It takes Castiel two weeks of constant stomach aches and a lot of time to think, before he decides he really needs to talk to Dean again. But apparently Dean is pretty good at hiding and Castiel never sees him.
Until one day just as Castiel wants to buy groceries and he uses the elevator, the doors open to reveal Dean inside it already.
Dean promptly looks to the ground after mumbling a soft greeting. Castiel takes a deep breath through his mouth and then opens the bag he always takes with him lately. He pulls out the pages and has to admit to himself, he’s nervous.
“Dean, I uh got something for you.” Castiel says and Dean finally looks at him. Castiel smiles at him and he sees that Dean’s shoulders relax a bit. 
“What’s this?” Dean asks and Castiel holds his newest manuscript out to Dean, who takes it. 
“I wanted to apologize for my behaviour the last two times we met. This is my newest book, I finished it the last few days and I want you… I want you to be the first who reads it.” Castiel says and Dean slowly starts to smile. 
“Really?” Dean sounds adorable like this and he opens the manuscript immediately.
“Sure you said you’re a fan.” Castiel says and Dean nods hastily. There is a new smell around them and Castiel really likes this smell.
“I am. I love your work, your stories are just so well written and I fall in love with each story.” Dean says in awe and he strokes carefully over the pages. Castiel has to say this sight makes him really happy.
And then he takes a deep breath again.
Dean smells happy. Dean smells like his true mate. Not as dark or heavy as all the other Alpha’s. He smells rich and deep, but also sweet like honey. Maybe with apple pie? 
“You really are my true mate.” Castiel blurts out, surprised at himself. Dean looks up again, the happy smell vanishes into thin air.
“Yeah, uhm sorry.” Dean offers, feeling clearly uncomfortable again. The elevator stops and Dean hastily gets out. Castiel follows him before Dean could really flee.
“No! Dean wait. I mean I didn’t smell you when you fell into my apartment. There was so much dust and then I could only smell your rejection but… fuck. Sorry, so many Alphas hit on me like that and I was so angry.” Castiel tries to explain himself.
Dean seems to think about that for a moment, but then nods.
“It’s fine.”
“So will you go out on a date with me?” Castiel asks and he feels already better. Even before he had known that Dean was his true mate, he had thought a lot about this the last few days. 
Dean just seems really nice and Castiel hates how he mistreated him.
“Oh I don’t know….” Dean says and he blushes so beautifully again. Castiel would make it his life mission to make him blush as often as he could.
“Please.” Castiel says and it’s an honest one.
“Okay uhm, yeah. I’d like that. But I have work now, the pups are probably waiting.” Dean says and he gives another awkward wave. Castiel’s heart flutters. 
Castiel whistles happily when he buys his groceries. He would court Dean like he deserves and he doesn’t care that normally it’s the Alpha’s job to do that. So he buys some beautiful flowers too.
At home he gets back to Dean’s floor and puts the flowers in front of the door, along with a cute little heart sticker that has his number on it.
Perfect.
*
Dean is incredibly nervous.
He had left early and is now standing in front of the small restaurant Castiel had picked out. He really hopes the Omega wouldn’t stand him up.
Just as it turns six, Dean can see Castiel. He looks good in his suit and trench coat, his hair is a mess and Dean feels himself smiling. His true mate is truly stunning.
“Hello Dean.” Castiel kisses both his cheeks in greeting and Dean feels himself blushing again. Castiel holds out some flowers and Dean takes them a bit surprised. It’s not normal for the Omega to bring the Alpha flowers.
But Dean already has the feeling they aren’t exactly normal.
“For you.” Castiel says and Dean smiles.
“I love flowers.” Dean whispers, normally he doesn’t say things like that, only to his brother maybe, because Sam is just as soft as he is. But his father would strangle him.
“Good.” Castiel says easily and he holds out his arm. Dean takes it and they walk inside together. Dean loves being so close, because Castiel really smells good. 
The waiter brings them towards their table and Dean already likes this small restaurant, he can even see some pie there, but for now he could go for some burger. His stomach rumbles in agreement.
At their table, Castiel even helps him out of his jacket and then pulls the chair back, so Dean can sit down. Dean had never been treated like this before and he tells Castiel that, when the Omega sits down.
“I promise I will always treat you like this if you want.” Castiel says and Dean blushes again. He would enjoy that a lot.
“But isn’t that my job as Alpha?” Dean asks later when they already got their food. Dean is happy to see that Castiel has a very similar taste. They both are enjoying their hamburgers and Castiel even strokes over Dean’s hand sometimes.
“No. I don’t really like the traditional relationships between Alpha and Omega. I see myself as the dominant part and like to treat my partner well. I love my work and I don’t see myself taking care of pups all day, even though I’d like to have some one day.” Castiel explains and Dean nods.
“That’s why you don’t like Alphas?” Dean says but he smiles.
“Yeah most of them try to go all macho on me and I do not enjoy that. But you seem so different and I really like that. I’m sorry I didn’t see that at first.” Castiel says and this time he even touches Dean’s foot under the table with his own.
“I’m glad you are the way you are. I… I always wanted to be an Omega as a kid, because I never wanted to be the dominant part as you say.” Dean admits and he is glad to see Castiel smile.
No Alpha he ever met would admit to prefer being an Omega.
“So did you already read my manuscript?” Castiel wants to know and Dean spends the next minutes gushing about his favorite parts. He had read it the same night Castiel had given it to him and not put it down, until he had read it all.
“And… you have to use a different name and pretend to be an Alpha for the books?” Dean asks and he frowns at that. It sounds stupid.
“Sadly yeah. People think an Alpha who writes love stories is wonderful, but an Omega? Just embarrassing and pitiful.” Castiel says and Dean growls quietly.
“Yeah I know what you mean. People laugh a lot that I’m a kindergarten teacher, but it’s my dream. There are so many cute pups and I’m super lucky my boss Jody loves me.” Dean says and the next minutes they spend talking about their work.
Dean feels himself falling even harder for Castiel. Soon enough they are finished and Castiel even pays for them. The waiter is surprised, but Dean doesn’t care anymore.
“So I would love to walk you home.” Castiel says, when they go outside and he winks badly. Dean laughs, because they both have the same way home anyway. Outside it’s a bit cold and Dean cuddles into his jacket.
They don’t even round the first corner before Castiel takes his hand. Dean squeezes back, feeling so good. He had never imagined this.
At Dean’s door, Dean gets nervous again. Maybe Castiel would want to come inside? Dean hadn’t cleaned today and his apartment surely looks messy.
“Can I kiss you?” Castiel whispers and Dean feels himself nodding, before he can think more about it. 
He almost squeaks when Castiel presses him against his door. Fuck, he really likes that. Castiel smiles and then leans even closer. Dean closes his eyes first and then Castiel finally kisses him.
Dean whines quietly. 
Castiel kisses him deep and breathless. Dean had never met someone as fierce as Castiel, but he really likes this. Really likes him. Dean opens his mouth easily and lets Castiel completely take over.
“Okay.” Castiel whispers and now he doesn’t seem so collected himself.
“Wow.” Dean whispers back and he hastily steals another short kiss. Castiel is everything he had ever wanted.
“Now be good.” Castiel scolds but he laughs too. Dean feels so happy, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Castiel shakes his head, grinning and then he takes a step back.
“Sleep well Alpha.” Castiel says and he blows Dean another kiss, before happily running down the stairs. Dean looks after him.
Just as he goes inside, he stops. There is another smell on him and Dean laughs.
The fucker had scentbonded him.
Fuck he might be really in love.
*
The next morning Dean wakes up happy but also incredibly sweaty. Fuck. He lifts his blanket a bit and that glance tells him everything. Castiel’s scent bonding had triggered his rut.
Just as Dean sits up, it knocks loudly on his door. Dean groans and wants to ignore it, but then he hears Castiel outside.
He hastily gets to his front door and opens it, Castiel looks like a mess and Dean isn’t even embarrassed that they both are only wearing their underwear.
“Dean. I’m in heat.” Castiel says and Dean nods. 
“How can I help?” Dean whispers and he still feels calm. His rut is just beginning.
“I want to fuck you. Please. I’m still thinking clearly, but it will probably get bad in a few minutes. I need you to say you want this, if not. I’ll go.” Castiel says and Dean takes a step closer.
This time he kisses Castiel.
“Of course. I’d love to.” Dean says shyly and then Castiel takes over again. Dean happily gives him the lead. Fuck he had dreamed about this.
Dean takes Castiel’s hand and takes him to his bedroom. Castiel hadn’t seen anything in his apartment, but right now Dean doesn’t care. They are true mates, of course it all goes fast and overwhelming.
“Lay down for me.” Castiel says and Dean obeys almost a bit too hastily. Castiel smiles and he smells so sweetly now. Dean is sure his own smell changed too. They share the same one now.
“Please.” Dean says, when he sees how nicely Castiel fills out his underwear. He can smell Castiel’s slick.
“In a minute. Be a good Alpha for me.” Castiel says and then he finally gets on the bed too. He leans over Dean and they kiss for a moment again. 
Dean gets impatient after a few minutes, no matter how much he enjoys the kisses. Castiel sits back and helps Dean out of his underwear. Dean’s cock is rock hard and Castiel grins when he sees his dick.
“Very nice. Bet it will fill me so good.” Castiel says and fuck Dean really hopes so. Castiel stands up and throws his own underwear away. Dean licks his lips and he wants to get his mouth around Castiel’s cock
Right now they are both too impatient. 
“Kiss me Alpha.” Castiel says and Dean does so, Castiel still above him. Only when Castiel moans loudly he understands that Castiel is opening himself up. Dean groans.
“Please let me.” Dean whispers and Castiel nods, he is already out of breath. 
“But make it good, you hear me?” Castiel says and Dean promises. He uses Castiel’s slick to get his own fingers wet and then finally presses one inside Castiel. They both groan at the sensation.
“So hot, fuck.” Dean says and Castiel slaps his thigh for swearing. Dean presses two fingers in, thanks to Castiel’s heat they go in easily and soon enough Dean adds another finger.
Castiel sets the pace though, Dean holds his fingers still and lets Castiel move on his own. He looks so hot.
“Okay enough. Need your cock.” Castiel says and Dean pulls his fingers out. Castiel straddles him for real now and before Dean can even think about it, Castiel already sinks down on his cock.
“Holy shit, Cas.” Dean mutters quietly and he is for sure dying. Castiel doesn’t waste a second and takes Dean’s dick in one go. Dean takes a deep breath and tries not to thrust up, since he doesn’t want to hurt him.
“You feel so good Alpha. Fill me up all the way.” Castiel say and he is the one who is fucking himself with Dean’s cock. Dean growls, because this feels so good. Castiel throws his head back. 
“Ah Cas.” Dean says, taking everything Castiel gives him.
“Gonna knot me Dean? Will you come inside your Omega? Mark me as yours.” Castiel babbles and Dean is so turned on. He can already feel his knot swelling. He would be embarrassed but it feels so good.
“Please let me come.” Dean whispers and Castiel rides him even harder. When he pulls on Dean’s nipple, Dean comes loudly. His knot pops and Castiel moans loudly, but he takes it so well and bites down on Dean’s mating gland. 
It takes Dean a moment to understand what happened, but it hurts just a second before he feels incredible. Happy and sated.
Dean groans himself and only then does he bite Castiel, when he sees that Castiel comes all over Dean’s chest. They are tied together and Castiel smiles down at him, when they both can breathe again.
Dean had never heard about an Omega that knotted himself, but that was basically what Castiel had just done and he had even bit him. Dean loves it.
“Fuck.” Castiel says and Dean kisses him. They will be knotted together for some time and Dean carefully arranges them so that they are lying on their sides. Castiel being the little spoon for now.
(Dean has a feeling that would change as soon as he got free.)
“That was amazing.” Dean whispers happily and Castiel turns his head so he can kiss Dean. Dean closes his eyes then, feeling content for now. He really had an amazing mate now.
“Did it hurt?” Castiel whispers then.
“What?”
“When you basically fell into my apartment and into life.” Castiel laughs and Dean smacks him with a pillow.
Fuck he loves him.
*
“Baby?”
“Here, Cas.” Dean says from the living room and Castiel walks over there as fast as he can. He mostly waddles. 
“Are you almost done?” Castiel asks when he looks up to Dean who is standing on the ladder. Dean nods.
There is another hole in the ceiling in Castiel’s apartment, but this time on purpose. With Dean as his Alpha, Castiel had finally been able to use his money. And he bought them both apartments.
Dean had the idea to build stairs there and connect both apartments and this time Castiel had even let him build this alone. His Alpha is really good at a lot of things. Castiel is proud of him.
“Yeah should be good for today.” Dean says and then gets down the ladder so he can kiss Castiel. They both smile when they break the kiss.
“Remember how we first met?” Castiel asks grinning and Dean groans in embarrassment. Castiel snickers but kisses Dean again.
“It looks really good.” Castiel says then and points at Dean’s work.
“Lets just hope Jack and Belphegor like it too.” Dean mumbles and Castiel’s cheek hurt from all the smiling when Dean carefully puts his hands on Castiel’s huge stomach. 
He really hopes the twins would arrive soon. They have a really special Daddy to meet and Castiel can’t wait for it.
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Holding on and Letting go - Chapter Three
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The sequel to The Hand That Reaches for God
Emerson was always told that time heals all wounds, but whoever said that must’ve not lived in the world that she lived in. They must’ve lived in the time before, when the world its self wasn’t this bleeding, throbbing wound, and that time did nothing but drag out the never ending pain.
The Maklen sisters and the Winchester brothers were inseparable, their whole lives, and when the world turned red they did the one thing they knew how to do– be together. But now, the same world that pulled them together, seemed destined to rip them apart again and shatter something that was so fragile in the first place.
Chapter Three
“I will not have you without the darkness that hides within you. I will not let you have me without the madness that makes me. If our demons cannot dance, neither can we.” - Nikita Gill
-8 Years Before-
“Happy birthday dear OpheliaandEmersonnnnn happy birthday to you!”
Ophelia leaned down and blew out the candles on their cake. That was always her job, and Emerson didn’t care, not really. She wasn’t the kind that made wishes on candles or stars. She just hoped that Pheli wished enough for both of them.
Sam invaded their space and wrapped his arms around Pheli’s waist and placed a big kiss on her cheek. “Happy birthday, baby!”
“Aw! He’s sweet. Isn’t he sweet?”
“The sweetest,” Em said tightly. She walked to the table to help her mom cut the cake, since it was pretty clear that her sister wasn’t going to.
“Are you having fun, honey?” Jana asked, kissing her daughter’s temple.
“Yeah. Thanks, Mom.”
“You can sit down. I can get it,” she insisted. “Let your mother take care of you on your birthday.”
“She’s right, you know.”
Emerson would recognize that voice anywhere. Dean. She just couldn’t get rid of him, could she? “What’re you doing here?”
“It’s a party,” Dean said with a shrug.
“I know. It’s my party.” She wasn’t sure if she even believed that. Her eyes met his green ones and a chill ran down her spine. He had this way of getting under her skin that she couldn’t shake no matter how hard she tried.
“Wanna take a walk?”
“Okay.”
She avoided the quirked eyebrow and smirk of her mother and followed Dean through her house to the front door. They pushed through and walked down the sidewalk. It was awkward at first, quiet. She questioned immediately why she went with him. What the fuck was she thinking? She ditched her own birthday party for Dean Winchester. Pheli was going to give her so much shit for this.
They followed the sidewalk to the pier and down to the water. There was something about the ocean that always had a draw for Emerson. It didn’t matter how long she lived near it, she always felt a lot calmer when she could smell the salt. The air was cold, and the sand was hard and frozen. The whistle of the wind over the sea was haunting, like a set of old wind chimes. She stopped walking and turned to him. She worried if they kept walking they would reach the end of the earth and fall off the edge. “Why did you ask me out here, Dean?”
Dean's hands were in his pockets, and he looked out to the sea, dark and churning. He turned to glance at her and dug in the pocket of his coat and held out his fist. “I got you something.”
She raised an eyebrow curiously. “Why?”
“It’s your birthday. That’s what people do.”
Right.
Emerson held out her hand for him and he dropped something into it. She pulled her hand back and stared at the necklace resting in her palm. “You got me jewelry.”
“Don’t make it weird.”
“It is weird,” she said with a snort before holding it up. It was a dainty, gold chain with a small golden bear on it. She ran her finger along the hunched back of the bear and frowned. “What is…”
“Bears are supposed to symbolize strength. I just… You’re strong, Em. Sometimes I feel like you forget that.”
She curled her fingers around the necklace, her chest tugging herself towards him a bit, and she swallowed hard. How was it that this man knew her so deeply? He seemed to know exactly what she needed to hear, and the way to say it that made all of the difference. They were toeing a line. He was too old for her, and she had no interest in falling in love, but yet. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He turned away from her, looking back out. “I don’t think you get enough attention. Everyone is always focused on Ophelia. She’s great, don’t get me wrong, it’s just… you’re great, too. Don’t think anyone tells you enough.”
“I don’t need that much validation.”
“Maybe not, but I’m still gonna tell you.”
And he did.
-3 Years after-
Dean Winchester spent a lot of time looking at Emerson Maklen, especially after everything that happened. It felt like he had to walk on eggshells with her and Sammy. Sometimes it was too damn much, but he had to pick his battles. He had to appreciate what he had left.
It was her birthday, and he wanted to do something special for her, but he knew better. She wouldn’t want to celebrate without Pheli, and he couldn’t blame her for that.
Out of all of the ways he thought they would end up, this wasn’t even an option. Not by a long shot. She was trying, and he could appreciate that. They all were, but sometimes trying wasn’t enough. He could hear her crying at night even though she tried to hide it, and it broke him. There was nothing worse than seeing the person he loved most in the world hurt so deeply. He felt like no matter how close he got to her, he would never be close enough to pull her out of the darkness.
He’d been thinking about his deployment a lot lately. The heat of the desert was on his mind. The sweat and the sand. The blood and bombs. It felt like a different life, like some kind of god awful dream. That’s how The After felt. That's what they’d dubbed the apocalypse. It had a sort of a ring to it, well it sounded better than ‘the end of the fucking world’, even though that was pretty accurate.
He spent so much of his deployment thinking about Emerson. He thought about her and all of the letters she probably hadn’t opened. He thought about how he would win her back. He thought about a lot of things. One night he laid on his back in a truck bed as Charlie drove, yammering on about something, but his eyes didn’t leave the sky. He could say a lot about Afghanistan, but fuck, the sky was clear. He could see a million stars, but really all he saw was Emerson.
All he ever saw was Emerson.
-2 Years before-
“Alright, men,” Dean began, shifting uncomfortably in his Civ’s.
Charlie cleared her throat and shot him daggers at men.
“Alright, gang?”
She nodded in approval, and Dean shook his head with a snort. Charlie reminded him of her sometimes. She was so fucking strong willed that it gave him a headache. He missed her more than he could ever imagine. If Dean Winchester could list his biggest mistakes on a sheet of paper, it would just have the date that he crawled out of Emerson Maklen’s window, leaving her naked and alone, in big Roman numerals. What the fuck was he thinking?
Well, he knew exactly what he was thinking. He wasn’t good enough.
“Alright, gang. We have the evening free. Novak did us a solid, so don’t fuck it up. Ya hear me? Don’t go getting any locals pregnant, or getting too shitfaced that you can’t report in the morning. He will have my ass, and I frankly like my ass.”
The men snickered in response. Such fucking children. Dean shook his head, but couldn’t help but smile. He needed this as badly as they did.
They all climbed into the Humvee to head toward the closest town, their pockets full of bills and big painted smiles. Benny pulled out his guitar on his knee and started to strum as Dean drove. He glanced back at his friend in the rear view mirror. “Say you're leavin' on a seven thirty train and that you're headin' out to Hollywood. Girl, you been givin' me that line so many times it kinda gets like feelin' bad looks good, yeah.”
They howled in response, like wolves at the moon, all leaning into Charlie. She shook her head and punched Garth in the shoulder in response. She was nobody’s baby, but the men knew that. They loved her and respected her, probably more than they respected Dean. He was fine with that.
“Yeah, you drive me crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby…” They sang out in unison, and Dean laughed, joining in, because why not? Sammy wasn’t there. The people in the back of the Humvee were his family. They were branded by war, by blood, dirt, sweat, and fucking tears. No one talked about how Garth cried at night, how Benny stayed up late to write letters to his niece, or how Dean scribed letters to a girl that would never write him back. He half expected to get a package of returned mail, but they never came.
He rubbed the place above the inside pocket of his jacket where Ophelia’s letter was zipped up tightly inside. He received it on his last day of Basic. He had read it about a thousand times, and the edges were worn and soft. He had to assume that it meant that Emerson had kept his letter. She hadn’t trashed it, at least.
Em didn’t share with me the letter you sent to her, and I think it’s because she’s scared.
Scared. He could’ve laughed, but it all hurt way too damn much. He assumed, since Ophelia Maklen was vouching for him that she didn’t know what he did. If she did, she would be marching right into the shit to punch him in the teeth. He deserved it.
He just hoped Emerson did think that it was all about sex. It wasn’t. He didn’t plan on going there and sleeping with her. It was just a happy accident.
“You good?” Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow. He sat in the passenger seat, and he was staring at Dean. “You’re gripping the steering wheel really tight.”
Dean loosened his grip, his fingers white from the pressure. “Yeah, I’m good,” he responded with a grunt.
They didn’t do the soft thing. They didn’t open up or hug, which was fine by him. He worried if he started that he’d never be able to stop. He hadn’t relaxed for a second since his deployment started.
“Part of me thinks I’m gonna die out there.”
“Well can you do me a favor, and I don’t know, not die?”
“Aw, Em, your heart is showing.”
Things never quite went the way that he expected them to. If he knew that she would want him, he would’ve never enlisted. Fuck his father, what did John Winchester ever do to deserve a breath from Dean’s body? Emerson, on the other hand, deserved the world.
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, or whatever. She most certainly deserved better than him.
“You look like you’re going to hurl,” Kevin commented.
“Christ, Tran, can you mind your own dick?”
Kevin frowned, his body deflating, and Dean immediately felt guilty. Wasn’t the kids fault that he was so messed up.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and glanced at Kevin. “Just thinking about what I left behind is all. Not much I can do about it now.”
Kevin nodded quickly. “I understand that. I think about my mom all the time. I think about how proud she was. I don’t want to let her down.”
“You won’t,” Dean assured him.
“Whatever you’re worried about, Dean, it will work out.”
“Oh yeah? You got some crystal ball I don’t know about?”
Kevin snorted in response, shaking his head. “No. I just… I know, I guess. I don’t get the impression that you let things go easily.”
He was on the nose about that one. “You’re quiet, Tran.”
“That means I am pretty observant.”
“Apparently.” He turned back to the road, tapping his fingers to whatever song Benny was strumming. “Thanks, kid.”
Kevin shrugged. “You do it for the guys all the time. It’s the least I can do.”
“Hey, Tran?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think that there are some things that can never be forgiven?”
“What do you mean?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed. “I think we see shit in war all the time that can’t be forgiven.”
“I meant more… personally.”
“Ah,” Kevin nodded swiftly. “Whatever it is, Dean, an apology goes a long way.”
“I did,” he grunted. “She didn’t write back.”
“Hm. I’ll pray for you, buddy.”
“You really think that helps?”
“Well,” Kevin began with an ornery smile. “Couldn’t hurt, right?”
-3 Years after-
Today was a win, at least in Dean’s mind. They found an abandoned motel, which sort of felt a little pointless to call it that- everything was abandoned unless it was full of Rogues. The motel had a backup generator that hadn’t been on this whole time. It worked, which meant lights and running water. The lobby even had some old DVD’s, which meant movies. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he watched a movie. Maybe he would get to celebrate Em’s birthday after all.
Sam insisted on his own room, which didn’t bother Dean much at all, because he had plans for his room that didn’t include his brother’s wandering eyes. They agreed on joint rooms in case of trouble. They never could justify being too far apart.  
After digging around in the dusty kitchen of the motel, he managed to find some non-perishables. A few cans of ravioli, which was honestly really unappetizing, but if he was being honest, nothing was really appetizing anymore. He was most excited, though, about the single birthday candle he found. Combined with the lighter that he still carried in his pocket would allow for Emerson to make a birthday wish. It was the least she deserved.
He gathered up armfuls of movies and opened the door to their room. The lights were off apart from the lamp between the two beds, and the shower was running. Heat rose up his neck at the thought of her naked behind the door. Even after all of the time, he was still completely dazzled by her. He didn’t expect that to change anytime soon.
He dropped everything on the dust-covered dresser. “Em?” He opened the bathroom door slowly, allowing the anticipation to build in his gut.
“Dean… don’t,” she murmured, gasping a bit from behind the shower curtain.
“What’s wrong?” He asked immediately, walking to the shower without thinking. He pulled back the curtain to find her crumbled at the floor of the shower completely clothed. Her knees were pressed to her chest, her hair soaked and matted down against her face and neck. He wondered how long she had been there. “Em.”
“I don’t need the pity, Dean. Just… give me a minute, okay?”
“No,” he said quietly, his heart breaking for her. He climbed in the shower across from her, his legs going to either side of her, water rushing down his face and back. His eyes stung and his throat burned as he watched the strongest person he’d ever known crack like glass.
“Damn it, just leave me alone,” she gasped, a sob escaping her lips. She buried her face in her hands, and he pulled her against his chest. She curled her hands into fists and pounded them half-heartedly onto his chest. “Leave me alone!”
“No,” he whispered against her wet hair, allowing her to hit him over and over again until her arms fell between them.
Pain knew no gender, race, age, status… In the end they were all the same. The thing that was ripping Emerson apart had come for him already. He’d lived in the trenches longer than he cared to admit. It was all darkness and dirt, like being buried alive. He was choking, drowning in it, but she pulled him out. So there was no way in Hell that he was going to let her be overcome by pain, not alone.
“I love you. I’ve got you, Em.”
“Things are so fucked up,” she sobbed, her broken voice cutting into him. He held her tighter, with stronger arms.
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do. You still have Sam.”
He winced at that. She’d never thrown Sam in his face before like that. It had always been a good thing that Sam was still with him. She was trying to hurt him, and she was right. He had no idea how she felt. How could he?
“I just keep thinking about when we were twelve and Pheli wanted to do another princess birthday. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I told her I didn’t want to share a birthday with her. I just wanted to go to the movies. I didn’t want to have a whole thing with crowns and dresses.”
“Em, you can’t beat yourself up for something that happened over a decade ago…”
“Yeah, Dean, I can. I didn’t appreciate her the way I should have. I should’ve never left her alone… then I wouldn’t be having another birthday without her. It’s not fucking fair! She should be here.”
“You’re right,” he said. He held her arms and looked into her eyes. “It’s not fair. It’s fucked up. It’s wrong, but just because Phel can’t be here doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t live, Em. I feel like I’m watching you die with every breath you take.”
He thought about the pink candle on top of the can of ravioli on the dresser, and how the flame would never be lit. It felt unbelievably lonely.
“It’s devastating having to watch someone that you love disappear and not be able to do anything to stop it, isn’t it?” She asked, coldly. Her fingers twisted in his shirt. “I was so fucking focused on you, Dean, that I wasn’t watching out for my sister. I’m trying so hard to not hate you for that, to not make this all for nothing… but sometimes it hurts so bad to look at you. So please leave me alone. You want to do something for me for my birthday? Just go.”
-106 Days after-
Everything was red.
Sam was on his back, flat on the ground. Blood pooled from a wound on his shoulder. He had been shot. His face was pale, and he was blinking a lot, like he was trying to see something that wasn’t there. His long, pale fingers were stretched outward, reaching. He was muttering something that Dean couldn’t quite understand when they approached. “Take care of Sammy.” He had failed. “Hey, Sammy I’ve got you,” he said, crouching down immediately to take his brother in his arms. He put pressure on the wound, blood seeping through his fingers, flashes of bloody limbs in the dirt of Afghanistan edged its way into his vision. He willed it away. His past demons had no place in his present nightmare. “It ain’t that bad.”
Some moments are small. The smile on Emerson’s face when he said her name, the way she mumbled in her sleep, the frequency that Ophelia ended up cuddled next to Emerson, leaving Sam alone in bed. Those moments were small breaths of bliss.
Some moments were huge, astronomical, devastating, ineffable.
He had been so focused on his brother’s wound that he hadn’t even heard Emerson screaming, not until she fell on her knees next to Sam, shouting, wailing something unintelligible.
All he could hear was the woosh of his blood pounding in his ears. The sound of his heartbeat, and the word gone.
—–
Chapter four
Catch up on Part One Here
Tag List:
@hanaissupergirl
@deans-baby-momma
@cpag7
@tftumblin
@squirrelnotsam
@formulafun
@thatgirl1456
@wildfirekitten
@ceisbill
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deanandcastrash · 5 years
Text
Absolutely nothing was fair about Castiel Novak.
He was extremely smart, and he had powerful confidence. He was talented yet humble, mature yet nice, and handsome yet well mannered.
He had stunning bright blue eyes and the most beautiful smile.
Yet, the most unfair part of it all was how severely he made Dean fall for him.
It wasn’t fair that Castiel sat next to him in Spanish, how he flashed his perfect smile, how it made Dean’s heart skip a beat in his chest.
It wasn’t fair how Dean didn’t know how to do the work and how Castiel did, willing to help, sliding his chair closer.
It wasn’t fair when they became friends and exchanged numbers and Castiel began texting Dean on the regular, and it most certainly wasn’t fair how happy it made Dean everytime his phone went off and he saw Castiel’s name.
It wasn’t fair how Dean realized he had a crush on him after giggiling like a girl at one of those stupid texts.
They got closer as time went by.
Castiel begged for Dean to turn his read receipts on - he wanted to see when Dean was ignoring him. And of course, Dean refused - until Castiel turned his off to irritate him, and then he caved.
That was when Castiel began to become obsessive over Dean responding to his messages.
That was when Dean began to think that maybe Cas liked him more than a friend.
One day, towards the end of the school year, when their friendship was still relatively new, Dean accidentally opened a message from Castiel right before he had to turn in his phone before an exam.
He left him on read for hours, and the entire exam it was all he could think about. As soon as the test was over he rushed to his next class, powering his phone back on.
It was a class he had with Castiel - he would just tell him what happened.
When Dean walked in, Cas shouted at him playfully from across the room.
“You are a horrible friend, Dean Winchester! You left me on read for three hours!”
Castiel was so predictable. It made Dean smile.
“I was taking an exam!” Dean pleaded, walking to where Cas stood.
The class was all over the room; card games were being played and loud chatter filled the air. The teacher sat at her desk with ear buds popped in.
It was the end of the year.
“Inexcusable,” Cas said, meeting Dean at the middle of the room.
“I didn’t have time to respond!”
“Three hours is plenty of time!” Cas said, taking another step towards him. He had his eyebrows raised and his lips pursed in an extremely sassy expression, but all Dean could think about was how awfully close that they were standing.
So, he took a step back.
“I was taking an exam!”
“You had enough time,” Cas said, stepping closer again.
They were standing so close Dean was afraid that he could hear his rapid heartbeat in his chest.
Making eye contact with Cas was something Dean always struggled with. He was afraid that if he looked into his eyes that he would see everything - he would figure him all out. But right now, Dean couldn’t look away.
His blue eyes were captivating - he was locked in some kind of transe.
“No,” Dean mumbled, backing away clumsily.
Cas cooly shoved his hands into his pockets, raising his shoulders into a shrug and grinning slyly‍, like he knew what he was doing, and it lit a fire inside Dean.
“Yes,” he said softly with a step.
“No.”
Step back.
“Yes.”
Step forward.
Dean was a mess. He couldn’t think clearly. He was staring at Cas like he was a miracle or something, and he was making eye contact. He was making eye contact! Cas would see - he would see right through him like fucking glass - what is he doing?
And everything ran through him in a quick wave of panic and fear of being figured out when he realized how lock lust he was, and so he pushed around Castiel with a final “No.” He could feel his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment.
He kept his head the complete other direction in an attempt to keep himself from making eye contact and falling into the trap again.
“No, no it wasn’t enough time ‘cause I was in an exam,” Dean spout at a rapid speed. “But I’ll respond now, I’ll respond now, okay?” And he pulled his phone out of his pocket and he tried to will his blush to fade and his heart to slow down a bit.
Dean thought maybe Castiel liked him the way he liked him.
So he made the decision to let his crush continue to develop.
They went to the movies. It was Castiel’s idea. They saw some no name movie.
Castiel paid for his ticket before Dean could even refuse.
They were the only ones in the theater - sat in the back row and Castiel made funny comments the entire time that made Dean’s stomach hurt from laughing by the time the credits started rolling.
They went to the mall. Shopping around all day, walking around talking. It was nice. Dean got Cas back from the movies - he paid for his lunch.
The topic of girls only came up once.
Castiel said he had a crush on some girl - her name was Megan. Dean had seen her around - she was a pretty girl.
But he didn’t see Cas trying to make an effort to talk to her at all. He seemed more worried about whether Dean was responding to his messages than he was about even attempting to get her number.
So Dean didn’t really worry about it too much.
All he could think about was when they were together - after the newness of the crush had worn off, what was left underneath was this beautiful friendship.
He could trust Cas, he could actually talk to him.
But he wasn’t just a friend, not when they joked around the way they did. Not when they looked at each other the way they did.
And Dean kept comparing himself to Castiel’s other friends, trying to see how exactly he acted around them, if maybe he just treated everyone like he was flirting with them.
But Cas didn’t.
He didn’t have a single friend he was even remotely tied to like he was tied to Dean.
And God, was Dean so tied to Cas.
Dean would do anything Castiel asked him to do, and he did.
What was beautiful was when Cas started to become more serious. When instead of stealing and hiding his possessions to mess around with him, he started bringing them to him if he left them behind on accident. He started asking Dean to do actual tasks for him.
Something about doing it for Cas made whatever chore he was doing so much more enjoyable, or rewarding.
For a while Dean was okay with their dynamic being like that - where they flirted around and texted and facetimed all night.
Whenever shit got serious, though, Cas shut down. He got mad at Dean.
And then Dean started remembering how unfair everything was.
The newest addition to it all though hurt like hell.
It was the most unfair how Castiel was straight.
Dean had dreams where Castiel came out to him. They didn’t even kiss.
They just looked at each other and for the first time Dean could look into Castiel’s eyes without being afraid that he would see something and reject him.
Dean lived for those dreams.
He stared to let himself down slowly.
He started to try and accept that they would only be friends.
Then Cas had a bad week.
Dean knew about Castiel’s depression. They talked about it a few times - he had taken it out on Dean before. He got angry when he got low. Dean just didn’t understand why he got angry with him.
One week, Castiel went radio silent.
For an entire week Dean barely heard a word from him, and it was pissing him off.
How come when Dean left him on read for an hour it was a problem, but Cas could be silent for a week?
On day eight, Dean couldn’t take it anymore.
It was the first football game of the new season. Dean found Cas at halftime. Why was he even at the game without Dean?
“My little brother, Gabe, he wanted to come and I just decided to stay,” Cas explained as they walked towards concessions.
Dena nodded silently at his feet for a second or two, and then a rush of anger flushed through him. He looked up at Cas next to him.
Cas was already watching.
“Why are you ignoring me?”
“I really need to answer that question?”
“Yeah, yeah, you do. Cause I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here, so please tell me what’s going on,” Dean said angrily.
“I’m mad at you.” Cas said bitterly.
Dean sighed dramatically. “You’re always mad at me-“
“No, hear me out, okay? You leave me on read all the time. I’m always the one to text you first, I’m always the one making plans. I’m mad about it - like how you don’t care. It took you a fucking week to ask me to my face what was wrong.”
Dean slowed his walking to a stop, his eyebrows scrunched in a confused expression.
“I don’t always respond to you because I know you want me to. I don’t want to give you want, Castiel, I never want to give you what you want. Where’s the fun in giving you what you want?” Dean said, and he had to bite his tongue to keep himself from saying more.
Castiel’s entire expression went blank at that. He stared blankly at Dean for a few moments, and then he chuckled to himself quietly.
“You never give me what I want - that’s the fucking problem,” Castiel said, and he turned on his heels and took long strides into the crowd the opposite direction.
Dean was a bit flustered at whatever that was supposed to mean. His heart was beating in his chest a million miles an hour, and he finally urged his legs to move to follow him.
Dean pushed through the crowd, trailing after Cas all the way back to the gate, calling his name.
Cas walked through the gate, abandoning the game completely, walking at a fast pace into the parking lot.
Dean began to run behind him, and he caught Cas just as he dug his keys out of his pocket next to his car.
“Cas,” Dean breathed, grabbing his arm. “Cas, tell me what the fuck is going on right now.”
Cas was looking down at his hands, fiddling with his keys. His hands were shaking badly and he took a deep breath that was shaky too.
When he looked up at Dean, his blue eyes held the saddest expression that he’d ever seen.
“I’m sorry,” he sighed.
“For what?”
“For taking all my anger out on you.” He wiped his nose. “You’re just the only person I can blame.”
“Fucking blame me. I don’t care. I’ll take it. I’ll take all the blame, just text me back every once in a while. Just get better, okay?”
Castiel grinned, shaking his head. “That’s a sweet sentiment Dean, but I’m afraid that this is a problem that won’t go away if we continue to be friends.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” Dean joked, and then Castiel’s entire expression changed sour and he stomped his foot hard against the pavement.
“That’s the fucking thing, Dean! We aren’t dating!” He roared.
And Dean wasn't thinking clearly - his heart was still racing inside his chest and he was still looking into those blue eyes, so he said, “Do you want to?”
But before the dread of the question could even set in, Castiel had already answered him, angrily, even, stomping his foot again.
“Yes!” He exclaimed.
A million emotions flooded Dean’s viens at once. His body went into complete shock. He wasn’t even breathing.
“Yes! I want to date you, I fucking want to date you and you aren’t even into guys let alone me-“
“Hang on, wait,” Dean said, trying to gain his composure, trying to make sense of what was happening.
“Actually, I like girls and guys, so that’s one thing you’ve said that’s incorrect.”
Castiel just stared at him, those blue eyes flashing.
“Actually, I don’t even like girls or boys. Not right now at least,” Dean said, knowing what he was about to do, his pulse in his throat.
“What?” Cas asked, blinking.
“Yeah, right now I just kinda like boy.”
And then he took a step closer. Finally allowed himself to close the distance, he took a breath from Cas’s air.
And then he kissed him.
Those dreams Dean had been having had nothing on this.
Every ounce of tension or guilt or overwhelming sadness Dean had built up inside melted out of him. All of his worries left his shoulders. For the first time in months he felt light.
Castiel had him tied around his finger - his hands in his hair, on his hips, trailing up his chest, dragging him closer.
It was divine.
In that moment Dean realized he was right.
Absolutely nothing was fair about Castiel Novak.
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doctortreklock · 4 years
Text
AU-gust 22 - Futuristic AU
For this. On AO3.
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.42
We got in a bit of a scrape with some unfriendly locals on the planet and found ourselves unable to evacuate due to an ion storm. Which apparently Cmdr. Walker was unable to detect in advance, despite the size of the storm. This marks the fourth time in three months that Cmdr. Walker has failed to note a relevant scientific fact, despite his role as Chief Science Officer.
During our time on the planet, Dr. Winchester was able to...
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.135
Following recommendations from myself, Dr. Winchester, and First Officer Harvelle, Chief Science Officer Walker has chosen to resign his post and retire, effective as soon as a reasonable replacement can be located. He will be leaving Starfleet with full honors.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.167
It has been two days, four hours since we picked up our new Science Officer, and I hate him already. Sammy said not to judge him so quickly, since we’re going to be stuck with him for the remainder of our five year mission, if not longer, but he said it with that pinched look that means he really does hate him as much as I do.
I’ve never worked with an Angel before. I knew they were aloof and cold, but the sheer lack of empathy. God. He’s an unfeeling bastard and it makes me wish I could punch him in the face and keep my command. Even if it would hurt me more than it hurt him.
...Okay, I just listened to that again, and I think I need to push for one of those mandatory ship-wide tolerance seminars again.
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.181
...four members of the landing party affected by an unknown poison, including myself. Though I was unconscious for most of the remainder of the mission, I was later filled in by Dr. Winchester and Cmdr. Harvelle.
Though the away party remained under threat from the native Tulian people, Dr. Winchester and Chief Science Officer Castiel were able to fabricate an antidote to the poison using the readings they acquired from their tricorders and the limited supplies they both keep on hand, as the transporter remained inoperative during this time. I have since been assured by Cmdr. Novak that the transporter malfunction was an anomaly that will not be repeated.
I am recommending commendations for Cmdr. Castiel and Lt. Cmdr. Winchester for exemplary service under pressure.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.205
...how much is actual incomprehension and how much is willful misinterpretation. I swear, we had just talked about the structure of Human jokes and I know he knows more about prime numbers than I do. I think at this point he just gets a kick out of it. I mean, every time he pulls off one of his straight-faced Humans-are-so-strange routines, his eyes just freaking glimmer and he smiles a bit, just on one side.
Everyone on this ship must be blind if they can’t see how much he enjoys messing with us.
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.272
Our newest mission from Starfleet has required us to stop off at Houston IX to pick up an ambassador, whom we will then shuttle to Carthage.
We did not experience any difficulties picking up the ambassador. Once he was on board, however, it became clear that we had a problem.
Ambassador Crowley is a Demon, from the planet Demos in the Etheril system. Cmdr. Castiel is an Angel, from the planet Angelii in the Etheril system.
These two planets have been at war with each other for-fucking-ever, and I can’t believe Starfleet just royally screwed this one up, SO badly--
...Computer, delete--
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.272
...that douchebag Crowley has the gall to stand all smug in the transporter room and say that he’s terribly sorry for the confusion and he deeply hopes that the inconvenience won’t be an issue. The dick.
Castiel, on the other hand, was what I’m pretty sure passes as spitting mad on Angelii. I’m not sure how I ever believed he didn’t have any emotions because oh boy were they written all over his face. I’m frankly very surprised he didn’t smite Crowley where he stands for the audacity to come aboard his starship.
This officially puts paid to any belief I had in those rumors about Angels being able to melt eyeballs or kill people with a touch, because if he had those powers, I’m pretty sure Castiel would have used them, rank or no.
Then, as soon as I became aware of this little snafu, I had to go ring up the Admiralty and try to figure out what the fuck was going on. Because the blood feud between the Demons and the Angels was basic knowledge and the first bullet point in the personnel files for everyone from either planet.
There aren’t that many Angels in Starfleet, and even fewer Demons, so I’m not buying Zachariah’s butter-wouldn’t-melt routine. The Free Will is the only ship in the quadrant with any crew member from the Etheril system, so there’s no way we were picked at random to ferry Crowley around.
Someone’s got it out for Castiel, and I won’t stand for...
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.312
...injuries acquired while protecting a senior officer from harm. Dr. Winchester has assured me that Cmdr. Castiel will make a full recovery. The arrow that was meant for me hit him in the chest, which would be lethal for a Human, but Angelic biology differs in both the placement of internal organs and their capacity for rapid healing. I have been informed that Cmdr. Castiel can be expected back at his post within the week.
I am recommending commendations for Cmdr. Castiel for bravery under fire and dedication to the lives of crewmembers. I am also recommending commendations to Lt. Mills...
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.346
...turns out that Cas hasn’t seen any of the new holos with Ford Harrison. Or any of the older ones. Actually, scratch that.
It turns out that Cas hasn’t seen any holos. Not even older two-dimensional films. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
And that’s a crying shame. I have a large media collection, and I am not afraid to use it. We’ve started weekly movie nights. I’m also trying to introduce him to Earth snacks while I’m at it. Popcorn hasn’t gone over well, but he’s surprisingly into Thin Mints.
After we watch through my entire Ford Harrison collection, I might break out the older classics. Nothing quite like shiny, low-budget, low-tech, computer-animated explosions to lighten the mood.
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.11
...seems like the rumors of extrasensory perception have not been exaggerated. Though we were unable to detect any signal on the frequency he described, Cmdr. Castiel has made it clear that he has been summoned back to his home planet for some urgent business.
While the Free Will is technically on a mission to deliver supplies to Lunar Base Kappa, it is not an urgent assignment, so we have time to detour to the Etheril system. If we had not been able to, however, Cmdr. Castiel made it clear that he would be returning to his home planet, with or without the ship.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.25
...won’t even talk to me anymore outside of shift! He’s cancelled the last two movie nights, and I swear he’s been avoiding me at mealtimes.
I don’t think I even realized how much time we’d spent together until we stopped.
I’m not sure what those bastards on Angelii did to him, but I swear to god...
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.47
I’m not sure what finally did it, but he’s talking to me again.
Sammy’s been giving me worried looks for a month, and I’m pretty sure he was working himself up to one of those “you know I care about you, and you’re my brother, but I have to look after the whole ship, and you’re being a dick right now” speeches. Because I totally was. Snappish and frustrated and irritated. ...all because Cas wasn’t returning my calls.
Metaphorically. My metaphorical calls. Because I wasn’t calling him. Obviously.
Anyway.
He’s talking to me again. If I had to put a guess on it, I’d say it probably had something to do with the discussion we had on the Angelii government and social hierarchy. Well, “discussion.”
I might have ranted and yelled at him, but I was concerned, and he didn’t look phased, so I’m not going to worry about crossing any hypothetical boundaries here.
And I’m not sure what it was. But the next morning he met me for breakfast in the mess before shift as if we’d never stopped hanging out. I’m not sure where I went wrong, but I might know how to fix it if it happens again.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.93
Someone’s going to die.
I haven’t quite figured out who yet, but they’ve got Zachariah in their pocket, and they’re the ones who called Cas back home, and they’ve got nothing good planned.
I’m not sure what they wanted with Cas, but I deprogrammed him again and I’m keeping him, come hell or high water, so I’d like to see them try and take him again. I’ll be waiting for them.
...Shit. Does this count as a premeditated confession in a court of law? Probably best to be on the safe side then. Just in case. Computer, delete--
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.127
...little evidence of large-scale corruption, it is nevertheless apparent that the Daughters of Lucifer were not a small or poorly funded organization.
Their activities - including the targeting of my Chief Science Officer - have been shut down, but I am recommending extensive monitoring of the entire Etheril system, as well as planets with large Angel or Demon populations. Both Abaddon and Ruby have evaded capture and it is not clear what their next moves are.
I am recommending a commendation for creative strategy under pressure for Cmdr. Castiel and commendations for bravery under fire for Cmdr. Harvelle, Cmdr. Castiel, Cmdr. Novak, Lt. Cmdr. Winchester, Lt....
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.135
We are hoping for a quiet mission on Altair VII. Cmdr. Novak believes he has devised a way to operate the transporters through an ion storm. Cmdr. Castiel has identified one beginning to brew here in the upper atmosphere, so we’re going to try testing that theory.
Lt. Cmdr. Mills will be leading the away team with Ensigns Jones, Novak, Spengler, and Zeddmore. The primary aim of this mission is to test Cmdr. Novak’s hypothesis by attempting to transport blocks of matter to and from the surface of the planet. The secondary aim of the mission is to take tricorder readings of the air, soil, and native flora.
Cmdr. Castiel will take the conn during this mission, as it falls entirely within the purview of the Science Division. This will also serve as a test of Cmdr. Castiel’s aptitude for command, as Cmdr. Harvelle has indicated that she will be seeking a promotion to captain when we next return to Earth later this year, leaving the First Officer’s position vacant.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.165
Sammy’s been giving me weird little half-glances all day, but it wasn’t until I got back to my room ten minutes ago that I figured out why.
It’s been a year since Cas came on board.
Just for kicks and giggles, I went back to listen to the first couple logs I made after he joined the crew. Man, was I wrong back then.
Cas isn’t cold or aloof or emotionless; I just didn’t know how to read him yet. I’m not sure if that’s a Cas thing or more of an Angel thing, but it definitely makes me happy that he’s on board. He’s my best friend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Between Crowley and Lucifer and all of the day-in, day-out missions we’ve had while boldly going, it’s been a rough year, but never let it be said that the Free Will is boring.
I think I can hear Cas in the hallway, so I’ll cut it short. It’s movie night.
Winchester out.
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carrieosity · 5 years
Note
Prank War/Nurse (or hospital) AU; Destiel!
Here it is! (Read on AO3)
Once, when Dean was on one of his summer breaks from his undergraduate college years and Sam had been about ready to graduate from high school, they’d managed to push Mom into sighing dramatically, “I always just assumed you both would eventually grow up, but perhaps that was wishful thinking on my part.” In fairness, she had good reason for the sarcasm; at the time, Dean had been rolling around on the lawn, cackling loudly as Sam tried desperately to extricate his head from the family’s mailbox.
To say that the Winchester brothers were inclined toward practical joking and shenanigans at each other’s expenses would be to wildly oversimplify the matter. In truth, they had been engaged in a long-running prank war, stretching back as far as either of them could remember, with only the occasional brief respite when either things had started to get out of hand and into the realm of massive property damage, or else one or both of them had decided to make the other sweat things out a little, waiting for the next move.
Short-sheeting beds and glittered shampoo? Those were for amateurs, not worthy of mention.
Of course, as they both reached adulthood and embarked on professional careers, boundaries had to be put into place. Nobody wanted to actually cause trouble in the workplace or perhaps even risk getting somebody fired. Sam worked in corporate law, and a badly timed prank could actually land him in prison if it went catastrophically wrong. Dean was a neurologist—an actual, honest-to-god brain surgeon, so take that, everybody who called him “the pretty one” in high school—with people’s lives literally in his hands. Even at his most vengeful, Sam would never stoop so low as to mess with that.
But that wasn’t to say that their pranks never extended into the workplace.
“Oh, come on,” Sam hissed under his breath. He’d been reaching into his leather bag, about to pull out the Tupperware container of salad he’d packed the night before, and the moment his fingers touched crinkly cellophane instead of smooth plastic, he’d known.
“Something the matter, Winchester?” said Adler, one of the other lawyers in the firm. Sam wasn’t at all fond of the man, but Adler had seniority, so when he’d seated himself at Sam’s table in the office lounge, he couldn’t very well complain. Now Adler was leering at him, like a shark scenting blood in the water.
“I rode to work with my brother today, and he…must have mixed up our things.” That sounded less than believable, but still much better than admitting to having been the butt of another practical joke.
“Hmmm, no lunch? You know, my assistant would be happy to run out and get you something,” Adler said, voice full of fake sympathy. There was a hook in that offer somewhere, Sam was sure, and there was no way he was going to willingly let himself be put into a position of owing a favor to Adler.
“No, he just left…a different lunch,” Sam said. He was still tracing the edges of the substituted package. What would it be? Disgusting or humiliating? There was only one way to find out. Briefly, he debated trying to find an excuse to take his bag back to his desk to eat, but that would look even weirder. He sighed and pulled out—
“Are those Lunchables?” Adler’s grin stretched to a disturbing width, and Sam let his head fall forward and his eyes close as he sighed. Whatever revenge he was going to exact would be brutal.
“I should have thought this out a little better,” Dean said as he poked a fork at Sam’s salad. Pranking aside, letting good food go to waste would be wrong, even if that meant he had to eat it himself. “Ugh, kale.”
“It’s good for you, Dean,” said Charlie. “Lots of vitamin C and potassium.” Her chastising words might have sounded more convincing had she not been picking at a plateful of french fries from the hospital’s cafeteria.
“Yeah, yeah.” Despite what Sam might try to insinuate, Dean actually enjoyed a good salad on occasion, so nabbing this one shouldn’t have been a problem. “Just a preference thing. He was on a spinach kick last month. Spinach kicks kale’s ass.”
“Hoisted by your own petard,” Charlie said with a wink. “You know, I actually have no idea what that means. What’s a petard?”
“Something that hoists, I guess,” Dean said. Poking at the salad again, he glanced around the cafeteria. “Hey, who’s the new guy?”
“Hmmm? Oh, that’s Dr. Novak. New cardiologist. I hear he’s amazing,” Charlie said after a glance over her shoulder. “Meg was telling me, since she had a couple of his patients this morning.”
“Meg complimented a doctor?” Meg, one of the nurses, was notorious for giving nearly every doctor a difficult time. Dean got along fine with her now, but his first few years working at this hospital with her, before he’d figured her out better, had been treacherous.
Charlie nodded. “I know, right?” Popping her last fry into her mouth, she stood and grabbed her tray. “Back to the salt mines. Come down and seem me later on your break, ‘kay?”
“You know it,” Dean said. Not only was she a good friend, but the X-Ray tech office had the best coffee maker in the building. It was a well-kept secret, only disclosed to the very, very lucky. Dean felt grateful to be included.
After Charlie left, Dean took another look at the new cardiologist. His shadowed jawline and messy dark hair might have implied that he’d already worked himself to the point of exhaustion, but the bright, gummy smile and sparkling light eyes said otherwise. He was laughing at something someone at his table had said, and Dean wished fervently that he could hear the conversation himself.
Sighing, he made himself eat as much of the salad as he could tolerate before giving up and buying an apple and some string cheese. He was heading back out into the hallway when he bumped into someone else. “Excuse me,” he said automatically. Glancing up, he found himself face to face with Dr. Novak.
“No, excuse me,” Novak said. “I should have been looking where I was going. Unfortunately, though, I’m not sure it would have helped, since I seem to have gotten myself turned around and going the wrong way again. I was trying to find the elevator?”
“Oh, yeah, wrong way for that,” Dean said with a smile. “Here, we’re headed the same way. I’ll go with you.”
It turned out that Novak—Castiel, he insisted—was heading for the doctor’s lockers, just as Dean was, so they had plenty of opportunity to get to know each other a little better as they walked. By the time Dean was heading out to his first afternoon appointment, he had a stomach full of butterflies and a head full of fantasies.
He’d completely forgotten prank he’d played. The thought of inevitable payback was far from his mind.
“…and it’s a good thing I got those extra hours of sleep, because I’m telling you, today is going to suck so bad.” Dean was already groaning as he dropped his bag to the bench and started to shrug out of his jacket. “Besides the surgery on Mrs. Gravunder this morning, which is probably going to take a few hours at minimum, I’ve got three different complicated cases that all need to be in the OR as soon as I can find a way to get them there, and…oh, hell, no.”
“What’s wrong?” Castiel asked. He’d been listening to Dean’s rambling as he got ready to start his own shift, but the abrupt stop to the flow of words had him turning with a concerned frown.
Dean was staring into his bag in horror. “Fucking Sam,” he said. “Just…he’s crossed the line. God, doesn’t he know better than this? You can’t just…” He reached into his bag and yanked out a scrub shirt. Instead of the plain aqua-colored scrubs typically worn by surgeons at the hospital, though, these were covered in tiny little cartoon bumblebees.
Wearing sunglasses. Which did not improve things.
“Those are cute,” Castiel said, tilting his head as he examined the fabric. “I haven’t seen you wear anything like that before.”
“That’s because I don’t!” Dean retorted. “Patterned scrubs are for…for peds doctors, or for nurses! Not for doctors about to jam their fingers into a person’s skull and mess with their parietal lobe!”
“Please don’t just jam your fingers in.”
“Not the point.” Dean sighed in frustration. “What am I supposed to do? I mean, I guess I could get some extra hospital-issued scrubs, but I liked the fit of mine better. Dammit, Sam.”
Castiel reached across the bench and took the scrubs from Dean. “It looks like we’re the same size,” he said. “You could wear mine.”
“What, and you wear the hospital ones?” Dean asked.
“No, I’ll wear the bees.” Castiel smiled brightly, pulling his tee-shirt over his head and mussing his hair as he did. “I like the bees.”
“You…like the bees.” Lifting his eyebrow skeptically, Dean crossed his arms and leaned against the locker. “Cas, you have a consult this morning with a guy prepping for open-heart surgery. You’re going to show up covered in cartoon bugs?”
“Bees are very important, Dean,” Castiel argued as he continued to get dressed. He reached for Dean’s bag to help himself to the scrub pants. Pausing for a moment then, he added, “You don’t seem to have a problem with colorful underwear, though, I can see.”
“Hey!” Dean yelped, lunging for the bag. “That’s…okay, that’s fair. But it’s not like I’m wearing those out where patients can get a good look!” He breathed an internal sigh of relief that the incriminating briefs were only patterned in colorful stripes, not anything more esoteric. Lace and ribbons were definitely at least a third date proposition.
“If that were true, you definitely should have avoided the hospital scrubs, then,” Castiel said with a cheeky smirk. “Their fabric is rather thin and light-colored, you know.”
“Shaddup.” Dean couldn’t suppress his smile as he studied Castiel, now fully clad in the silly scrubs. “You sure about this then?”
“Definitely. Here,” Castiel said, and he handed Dean the emerald green scrubs he’d packed in his own bag for the day. “Actually, I think I might prefer it this way. You can wear the green, which will bring out your eyes nicely, and I will test the theory about laughter being its own medicine.” He smoothed a hand over his stomach, admiring the fabric happily.
Dean snorted a laugh. “Well, that’s one prank that fell flat. When Sam calls later, though, we’ll let him think I wore the scrubs all day and that I’m all pissed off. Gotta make him stew, so he’s nervous about how I’ll get him back. The anticipation will be almost as bad as whatever I’ll end up doing.”
“You know, I might have some ideas,” Castiel said as he secured his belongings in a locker. “Did I ever tell you about my brother Gabriel? His high school nickname was ‘Loki.’ Suffice it to say, the sibling rivalry at our house was, er, transformative.”
Bursting out laughing, Dean clapped his hands. “Oh, you have got to tell me more. Sam isn’t going to know what hit him.”
“One condition,” Castiel started to add, but Dean held up a hand to forestall him.
“Yes, you can keep the bees.”
Castiel grinned. “Thank you, Dean. That wasn’t what I was going to say, though. My condition is that you let me tell you the stories over dinner. This weekend, my treat.”
Laughter trailing off, Dean hesitated, scrutinizing Castiel’s face. “Like…a date, you mean?”
Castiel simply shrugged. “That would be my preference. If you’d rather it be a meal shared between friends, though…”
“No, I like the first one,” Dean blurted, then blushed. Castiel chuckled, then reached back into Dean’s bag. This time, he pulled out Dean’s cell phone and handed it to him to unlock.
“For my number,” he said. Dean let him type it in himself, and when he handed it back, the contact name had a small bumblebee emoticon beside it. “I look forward to our date, Dean,” Castiel said, leaving with a wink and a wave.
“Best prank ever,” Dean said to himself, unable to stop smiling as he started to change.
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profound-boning · 6 years
Text
Holding Back From You
prompt: thrisha’s post pairings: destiel word count: 2k tags: no warnings apply, implied sexual content, dean’s appallingly low self-esteem, perceived infidelity, friends with benefits to boyfriends only on tumblr | dwlts
When Dean woke up in Cas’s bed with a naked Cas lying next to him and a familiar ache, he’d known right away that the night before had ended with some very athletic drunk sex.
When Cas woke up and treated him to round two, he hadn’t bothered to ask questions. Why would he when he could finally have Cas exactly like he’d always wanted?
Finally, when Cas rolled off of him and stumbled to the bathroom, Dean’s upstairs brain tuned back in.
Hey, dumbass, it said, don’t you think it’s actually a really terrible idea to have sex with your roommate and your best friend?
Why yes, brain, that does sound like a bad idea. Except that that was the best sex he’s ever had in addition to Cas being the best person Dean has ever known. Okay, so Cas is a bit of a slob and he’s so quirky sometimes and he’s a runner, which is just weird, but he’s a good guy. Would climb a tree to save a cat or drop his own bags to help an elderly lady carry hers. And Dean really wants to keep having sex with him.
So Dean doesn’t question their new arrangement. They haven’t really discussed it since that first day when a freshly-showered Cas flopped down on the couch next to Dean and asked him how he felt about spanking.
This led to an in-depth discussion of boundaries and what exactly they wanted from each other in the bedroom. Which is all well and good, except that it makes their sexy time a bedroom-only activity and now Dean is having some serious feelings-related issues outside of the aforementioned bedroom.
Granted, these issues aren’t precisely new. Dean has been wrestling internally with telling Cas that he’s halfway in love with him for a solid two years now, but when Dean fucks it up is he going to lose his roommate and his best friend, too? On the other hand, is he going to spend the rest of his life pining over Castiel Novak? That’s a firm maybe at this point. So, no, feelings-related issues aren’t new.
There is something that is new, however, and that is the dark hickey Dean has just spotted on Cas’s hip bone and the fact that Dean is currently losing his goddamn mind over it.
It’s just a hickey, right? Nothing too horrible. The problem is that Dean knows for a fact he didn’t put it there—not that Dean doesn’t love Cas’s hips, but it’s not exactly a spot he’s inclined to leave a hickey—so that means that someone else put it there and Dean’s going to be sick.
He ends up going to the bathroom, actually, but he doesn’t throw up. Instead, he leans his arms against the counter and takes deep breaths. Then, he flushes the toilet and splashes a little water on his face. He looks at himself in the mirror.
This is fine, he lies, you’re fine. It’s not a big deal that Cas is getting some on the side. It’s not like he made you some vow of fidelity. Why would he? A good roll in the hay and a half-decent roommate and that’s all. You’re not good for anything else and Cas would be certifiably crazy to think otherwise.
After that rousing pep talk, Dean goes back to the kitchen and avoids looking at Cas as much as he can.
He’s not very successful, mind you, but he tries.
He does insist that Cas puts a shirt on if he wants to cook, which is a small victory. Cas is craving scrambled eggs but he’s not so good at watching the pan so Dean takes over after a little while and they both end up with a nice plate of egg. Cas likes ketchup with his while Dean just uses a bit of salt and pepper. Cas talks at length about his stupid thesis and his stupid undergrads and he hooks his ankle around Dean’s under the table, and Dean tries to remember to breathe.
After suffering through breakfast, Dean plops himself down on the couch with the intent to spend the entire day on Netflix. Maybe he’ll take a break to hit the grocery store and grab some more junk food. And whiskey. Maybe tequila, too.
But Cas ends up deciding to stay home rather than hole up in the library, which means nature documentaries and talking about the universe. It’s the sort of thing that Dean loves to do with Cas on a normal day, but today is not a normal day.
Today, Cas is wearing a physical reminder that Dean is not anyone special, that Cas is bright and handsome and so damn good in bed it’s a small wonder there haven’t been any indicators before this. Seriously, Cas has probably been hooking up with some other friends of his this whole time.
Maybe they’re not even his other friends, Dean thinks with growing horror. What if Cas is dating someone? What if there’s someone that Cas takes out to restaurants and the movies, someone whose hand he holds when they talk together in little cafes, when they go to art museums and concerts together? What if Dean is Cas’s dirty little secret?
Frankly, he wouldn’t be surprised. But it still fucking hurts to consider the possibility.
Maybe he shouldn’t be so upset about it. Really, if they’re not doing enough to keep Cas satisfied, then what else can Dean do but reap the benefits? Surely, if Cas had a problem, he wouldn’t have turned to Dean that morning with a devilish smirk and wrapped a hand around his morning wood. He’d been so comfortable and into it. So, if Cas wants Dean, even just on the side, then why would Dean fight that? He should be grateful to get anything from Cas, not questioning it.
He’s so distracted by his internal crisis that he doesn’t notice Cas has stopped watching the movie to watch him. Then, Cas leaves over and presses pause on Raiders of the Lost Ark.
“Dean?”
“Yeah, Cas?”
Cas huffs a small laugh. “What’s up with you?” Dean shifts uncomfortably.
“Nothing, man. Why, what’s up with you?” He turns to look at Cas, who squints at him.
“Don’t pull that with me,” he says. “I know when something’s wrong with you. You’re easy to figure out.”
Or just easy, Dean thinks miserably, his mind still conjuring images of Cas’s picture perfect partner and how confused and devastated they would feel to find out that Cas sleeps with him sometimes. Fairly often, actually, he thinks with a sort of smugness mixed with guilt. Jesus, he needs to get a grip.
“Cas, I’m fine,” he insists. “Can we just get back to the movie already?” Cas looks deeply unimpressed with his avoidance, lips pursed and brow furrowed as if he can glare hard enough to see inside Dean’s head. Dean really hopes that that isn’t possible otherwise he’d be fucked, and not in the fun way.
But he relents and clicks play, allowing them both to settle into silence once more. It’s not a comfortable one, though, it’s tense with nervous energy and a sort of inexplicable sadness.
Dean thinks he’s going to die when Cas needs to stretch, raising his arms up over his head and arching his back with a little groan. The action pulls up his t-shirt to reveal his belly button and hips, that fucking hickey staring Dean right in the face. He swallows harshly.
Eventually, the movie ends, and they transition to watching bad television. Cas gets out his phone to play games while Dean flips through the channels. It’s comfortable, except that Dean cannot keep his mind off of whoever had their mouth on Cas’s body.
It shouldn’t hurt this much, but it does. Their arrangement wasn’t meant to last, Dean knows that logically, but he’s nevertheless hoped that maybe one of those orgasms would open Cas’s eyes to the possibility of something else, something with more romance than he’d ever admit to desiring.
Things come to a head at dinnertime, with Cas standing by the fridge and holding a jar of tomato sauce in his hand and frowning at it like it’s withholding the secrets of the universe. And Dean loves him. Oh God, how he loves him.
“I love—. Wait, shit. Uh,” he stammers. “It’s just—Cas, I can’t do this anymore.”
Cas looks at him with wide eyes. “What?”
“I can’t—” He gestures uselessly between them. “This doesn’t work for me. I thought I could do it but I can’t anymore, I’m not strong enough. You’re great, Cas, you’re so great and that’s the whole problem really. You’re perfect and I can’t stand only being yours when we’re horny and—and I can’t be your side piece, Cas. I saw the hickey, okay?” He points to Cas’s hip and Cas opens his mouth but Dean cuts him off, he has to get this all off of his chest right now before he chickens out. “And I tried to convince myself it would be okay, that just having any of you would be enough, but it ain’t. I—I want all of you, y’know? But I know you would never want that, and it’s just—just tearing me up inside thinking about it, thinking about never having you again, but I had to—I dunno, I felt like I had to say something, I guess. Can’t do this anymore.” Dean’s breathing hard by the end of his little rant as if he’d run a full marathon, his face and his body hot with shame. He’s tense and ready to flee, wondering if Cas will be so uncomfortable he’ll want to leave right away or if he’ll ask Dean to pack his bags. Either way, this is going to end badly.
He dares to glance up at Cas, wanting to search his expression for clues, when he notices something is off.
Cas is smiling, wide and gummy. This is Dean’s favorite smile and it’s so rare; why is Cas smiling like that and why right now?
Still holding the fucking tomato sauce, Cas takes two careful steps toward Dean, close enough to touch.
“This bruise is from when I walked into the table last night but, yes, I like you, too.”
The little gears in Dean’s brain refuse to turn and process this information. “Huh?”
“I want the same things you do, Dean,” Cas says. He takes another step forward, his smile becoming a bit shy. “I want all of you, too.” The way his eyelashes are fluttering gently makes Dean’s heart trip over itself. “I…sort of thought we were in a good place? I mean, I really didn’t want to push you into a relationship you didn’t want. I just thought we would talk about it eventually.” Cas laughs. “I guess we’re doing that now.”
Dean has yet to form any words. He’s feeling a bit shocked and off-kilter at the moment. He does, however, take a half step toward Cas and reach out to grab the hem of his shirt. He squints at Cas’s hip and thinks, yeah, that’s definitely a bruise and not the sexy kind. Huh.
“Dean?” He looks up at Cas, who’s biting his lip. “Say something?”
What could he possibly say at this moment? How could he respond to being offered everything he’s ever wanted in the form of his gorgeous roommate and best friend? He takes another step, bringing them chest to chest in their cramped kitchen. Then, he raises both hands in order to cup Cas’s cheek, to nudge his bitten lower lip with his thumb, and to push his fingers into that dark, messy hair.
“I’m the luckiest son of a gun alive,” he finally says, drawing Cas even closer. “Not sure what I did to deserve this, but I ain’t gonna question it.”
Cas rolls his eyes before he leans forward to kiss Dean’s jaw. “You’re pretty dense for an honors student, did you know that?”
“Dense and blind, apparently.”
“I’ll forgive you,” Cas says, taking Dean’s hands in his own and stepping back. “I’ll forgive you if you come back to bed with me right now and don’t get up for a while.”
“Oh, I’m thinking we’re both gonna get up.” Dean smirks, following Cas to his bedroom with bare feet and an open heart, too.
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