#god this is so good I’m sobbingggg | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ajokeformur-ray · 3 years

Text

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend.

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go.

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~ *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E V E R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe.

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what”

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too...

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink...

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

ASDFGHJKL

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much.

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will.

b l o o d s m i l e

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel.

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

t h a t ‘s l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~

i l o v e y o u

#erileck #<- ref tag #arthur fleck #joker 2019 #erika talks

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hiraethstill · 5 years

Text

THIS WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (7/30)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

LIVEBLOG:

mochi... you care so much and i love you

and miyuki does too

BOI AND BOTH OF THEM CARING ABOUT EIJUN AND GETTING HIS MESSAGE

man... im not okay

im n ot okay

god kurami WHY YOU GOTTA ATTACC ME FIRST THING

their cheeky bastard while secretly caring dynamic im

breathes heavily

and making each other feel better through joking

still not okay

furuya apologized? okay okay

lmao furusawa sniping at each other

eijun... maybe part of the reason you are how you are is because you put so much on your shoulders

"the part about you sucking is true" oh dear

asakuki faces always priceless haha

BLESS WATANABE HISASHI

"nabe-san" im SOFT

and ive been told -san is more respectful than senpai sOOO

AWAAH MANAGERSSS

WAIT

OMG

SCREM

AAAAAAAA

NABE-CHAN????????

N A B E F U C K I N G CH A N ???/??/???

MOCHINABE R I G HT SSSSSSSS

okay but i'm proud of angery child anna and her huge rice ball

they really doin kuki dirty with this animation

HSKDJGH TAKU LMAOO

ah yes masashi i feel this on a spiritual level

wHY IS ASADA SO HECKIN CUTE

whoever's on the mound is ace huh

yess jersey numbers gone

hansom boyos

oh they HAD to put takatsu there...

i live when kurami is in a screen together, which is like always

NABE NO HONORIFIC

HOW MANY BOYFRIENDS DOES NABE HAVE LMAO

"CAN I COME TO YOUR ROOM LATER" lmaooo

I LOVE NORI SO MUCH

ooh pretty eijun shot

NABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MIYUKI DAS GAY

NABE COMPLIMENTING SAWAMURA

more pretty eijun

im sobbing, eijun always thinking he doesnt meet expectations and everyone else knowing he outshines them

COMMUNICATE TO HIM PEOPLE

lmaooo zono

also kurami das gay

MI Y U K I

DAS G A Y

AAAAA TETSU-SANNNN COME BACK AND NOT JUST IN NARRATION

hiranocchi... are you suddenly kise ryouta, mei?

THAT "WHAT??!!" IM MCFUCKING DYING

lmao miyuki's teacher voice came out

INAJITSU BATTERS DOIN JOBSSS

ITSUKI WTF THAT WAS TOO CUTE YOU'RE BANCELLED

nori pitching for practice!!

yes eijun get in that work

SHKDGJSDG EIJUN'S FACE IN MIYUKIS ROOM

AND WHEN DID ALL THESE PEOPLE GET HERE

oh koushuu

omg teacher miyuki strikes again

tbh i want a fic where miyuki is a teacher...

the pitchers are so :0 and :| idk how else to explain it but they're so focused its so cute

koushuu buddy wyd get in there

I LOVE THE FIRSTIES BEING SO IN AWE OF EIJUN

WAI

WAIT

CHR

CHRI

CHRIS

CHRIS-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

I MISSED YOU CHRIS-SAN

HE LOOKS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL WTFFFF

and miyuki is there on the side too hehehe

god i forgot how lovely and deep and gentle/quiet? chris's voice is

SCREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM

EIJUN STILL THINKS ABOUT CHRIS-SAN'S WORDS

EIJUN STILL LETS THEM GOVERN HOW HE PLAYS BASEBALL

IM NOT OKAY

CALL THE AMBULANCE I AM N O T OKA Y YYY

C HRISAWA

AND TETSU-SAN OMGGGGGGGGGG

WHYYYYYYYY

TANBA-SAAAAAAAAAN

WAIT tanba's words sound awfully like what kataoka said earlier

who was drawing from who?

"seep deeper" i MIGHT ACTUALLY CRY

"and become a part of me" I AM T HIS FUCKING CLOSE

BREATHES

OKAY

beautiful

also itsuki batting great!!

I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING "WHEN WILL I SEE MY OTHER INAJITSU BOIS"

ay inajitsu win!

aw man amahisa didnt pitch? :c

best pitcher in japan? somewhere in the bg hongou is laughing his ass off

im sorry that was rude

but hongou really is the best

lmao koushuu "i like the look in your eyes" is gay

HMM.... koushuu wanting to be as candid about his desires

love that in a character

omg blunt as always"your behavior yesterday was quite good" this paired with the thing about desire and liking the look in your eyes screams kousawa rights lmaoo

koushuu bls - don't tell your senpai off damn lmao

harder to read might be harder sure, but eijun doesnt really work that way, no?

"you do rate me" "lets drop everything between us" WHY DOES THIS KEEP GETTING GAYER

KOUSHUU'S IMAGINATION STRIKES AGAIN

THIS GROWL AHAHAHA

"i havent earned the right" okay while this is sweet youre gonna have to catch for him more bc miyuki aint around for much longer so better start earlier

wow pretty

LMAO "WE HAD A REALLY GOOD THING GOING"

koushuu the emo

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THEY

THEMST

THEMSTDVE

WHERE ARE THE ADOPTION PAPERS I SIGNED LONG AGO

THEYRE SO TINY IM

OH MY GOD

IM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

BLUSHY KOUSHUU AND CHEEKY TAKU BUT L I TTLER

THE LITTLE GIGGLE IM DEVASTATED

LITTLE TAKU'S VOICE

hmmst koushuu's mom looks white tbh

half like chris and carlos????

koushuu unbearably cute and i just noticed taku has different glasses, no? wonder what happened to the old ones

wow look at koushuu's grim determined face

and taku's expression... he'd follow koushuu to the ends of the earth im telling you...

damn son that's some face you got thereso dramatic tho pls dont die

taku's little "wuh?" sound when koushuu said he was going to seidou is the Cutest Thing Ever

"kind of??" LMAO

boi... what about nori... and kaneda... and kawashima........ SEIDOU IS INTERESTING PITCHER LAND

SOBBINGGGG OF COURSE YOU CAN ENJOY IT DONT LET THE PAST HAUNT YOU

I LOVE YOUUUU

also highkey all those miyuki shots from koushuu's perspective das gay

SOBSSS YOUR STRENGTH WILL TAKE YOU FAR I SWEAR

preview

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ALL THESE KUKI SHOTS

IS IT INTRASQUAD NEXT

IM SO READY IM SO HYPED

SHOW ME ASADA'S CURVEBALL AND KUKI'S PITCHING

AAAAAAA IM SO HYPEDDD

SUMMARY:

kurami Feels

furusawa yelling about who lost bigger

nabe has 238203 bfs

jersey #'s gone

Miyuki's Teacher Voice

EIJUN STILL THINKS ABOUT CHRIS-SAN

ALUMNI CAMEOS

inajitsu win!

KOUTAKU BUT SMOLER

koushuu the Emo Gay

kukis next week!

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

#daiya no ace act ii #daiya spoilers #spoilers #daiya no ace #liveblog #episode 18 #miyuki kazuya #kuramochi youichi #watanabe hisashi #okumura koushuu #sawamura eijun #takigawa chris yuu #seto takuma

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