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curiositymemes · 30 days

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STICK SEASON: WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER.

taken from the 2023 album by noah kahan. trigger warnings for mental illness, trauma, medication, references to suicide, and the exquisite agony of life in rural new england. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

northern attitude.

how you been?

you settled down?

you feelin’ right?

you feelin’ proud?

you settle in to routine.

what does it mean?

i’m not how you hoped.

you’re gettin’ lost.

scared to live, scared to die.

you’re feelin’ lost.

stick season.

you must’ve had yourself a change of heart.

now i am stuck between my anger and the blame that i can’t face.

it’s half my fault, but i just like to play the victim.

i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose.

i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad.

i miss the way you laugh.

you once called me forever now you still can’t call me back.

that’ll have to do.

my other half was you.

i hope this pain’s just passin’ through, but i doubt it.

all my love.

how have things been?

well, love, now that you mention it.

i’m sayin’ too much, but you know how it gets out here.

now i know your name, but not who you are.

it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.

you got all my love.

if you need me, dear, i’m the same as i was.

what i’d give to have you out of me.

i still recall how the leather in your car feels.

and at the end of it all, i just hope that your scars heal.

i swear i was scared to death.

i smiled stupid the whole way home.

you said, ‘i’ll never let you go.’

she calls me back.

there was heaven in your eyes.

everything’s alright.

look at me and don’t you lie.

don’t you hold your head up high.

for bullshit, i do not have time.

do you lie awake restless?

why am i so obsessive?

this town’s the same as you left it.

the radio is taunting me.

i don’t get much sleep most nights.

i’m seeing you in every dream.

if only i could fall asleep.

i’ll love you when the oceans dry.

i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.

come over.

it was there when we got here, will be there when we leave.

you won’t have to guess who they’re speakin’ about.

i’m in the process of clearin’ out cobwebs.

i was takin’ the wrong meds; feels good to be sad.

my house is just barely big enough for my family.

my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.

i promise you, darlin’.

you won’t ever go back.

i know that it ain’t much.

i know that it ain’t cool.

you don’t have to tell the other kids at school.

someday i’m gonna be somebody people want.

new perspective.

makin’ me nostalgic.

we were kids; but that don’t make this less hard.

if i could fly i doubt i’d even do it.

i’d probably get high and crash or somethin’ stupid.

gave me your word.

i can’t pronounce it.

no thing so sure that i can’t learn to doubt it.

everywhere, everything.

would we survive in a horror movie?

we trust everyone we meet.

we’re littered with scars from our preteens.

i wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours.

i know every route in this county.

maybe that ain’t such a bad thing.

i’ll tell you where not to speed.

it’s been a long year.

orange juice.

honey, come over.

it’s yours if you want it.

we’re just glad you could visit.

feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long.

i didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone.

why’d you go?

my heart has changed and my soul has changed.

you just asked me to hold you.

it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.

my life has changed.

the world has changed.

don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?

are we all just pullin’ you down?

strawberry wine.

darling, speak to me.

don’t you say a word.

you thought you were cursed?

i’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.

if i could lose you, i would.

all the time we used to have.

the things i miss but know are never coming back.

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft.

growing sideways.

finally found some middle ground.

i said, ‘i’m cured.’

i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts.

i’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them.

it’s a start.

but i ignore things and i move sideways ‘til i forget what i felt in the first place.

i know there are worse ways to stay alive.

everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy.

if my engine works perfect on empty, i guess i’ll drive.

i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high.

now i’m sufferin’ in style.

why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be.

if all my time was wasted, i don’t mind.

i’ll watch it go.

it’s better to die numb than feel it all.

halloween.

the dawn isn’t here, the sun hasn’t rose.

they got money to make and children back home.

i worry for you, you worry for me.

the bridges have long since been burnt.

i’m leavin’ this town and i’m changin’ my address.

i know that you’ll come if you want.

i’m losin’ myself.

i’m seein’ my life on a screen.

i know that you fear that i’m wicked and weary.

i know that you’re fearin’ the end.

i only tell the truth when i’m sure that i’m lyin’.

homesick.

are you bored yet?

the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.

this place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation.

time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing.

i stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing.

i would leave if only i could find a reason.

i got dreams, but i cant make myself believe them.

i’ll spend the rest of my life with what could have been.

i will die in the house that i grew up in.

i’m homesick.

still.

i don’t wanna say goodbye.

it only falls into place when you’re fallin’ to pieces.

you miss something that you can’t place but you can’t deny it.

you can’t stay here.

it’s hard to face and it feels too ugly.

it’s like i’m still here with you.

can i fix what is broken?

the view between villages (extended).

for a minute, the world seems so simple.

i am not scared of death.

i’ve got dreams again.

there is meanin’ on earth.

i feel so far from it.

it’s all washin’ over me.

i’m angry again.

the things that i lost here, the people i knew.

they got me surrounded for a mile or two.

i found a town big enough for anything i want.

i’m not a city girl, by any means.

it still has a lot of meaning to me.

i grew up there.

your needs, my needs.

you ain’t gotta tell me what it means.

i promise to be there this time. alright?

you were a work of art.

that’s the hardest part.

i’m naming the stars in the sky after you.

dial drunk.

i promised to forget you.

i ain’t takin’ any fault.

am i half the man i used to be? i doubt it.

forget about it, whatever.

it’s all the same anyways.

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown.

for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone.

i gave your name as my emergency phone call.

i’d die for you.

from charmin’ to alarmin’ in seconds.

i’ll let the pain metastasize.

i beg you, sir, just let me call.

let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back.

son, are you a danger to yourself?

fuck that, sir.

son, why do you do this to yourself?

paul revere.

this place had a heartbeat in its day.

nothin’ was the same.

it just ain’t that simple, it never was.

one day i’m gonna cut it clear.

i’m not from around here.

i’ll leave before the road crew’s out.

i’ll turn up the music and i’ll forget.

i’m not ready to let go yet.

i’ll just pretend i didn’t hear.

it’s typical, i fear.

folks just disappear.

if i could leave, i would’ve already left.

no complaints.

i thought i had something and that’s the same as having something.

i get mad at nothing.

i pull no punches, then feel bad for months.

thought i was raised better, tried to fake better.

now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.

i saw the end, it looks just like the middle.

i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication.

who am i to complain?

now the pain’s different. It still exists, it just escapes different.

yes, i’m young and living dreams.

i’m in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.

call your mom.

oh, you’re spiralin’ again.

don’t you cancel any plans.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you let it out and let it in.

don’t let this darkness fool you.

i’ll drive all night.

i’ll call your mom.

oh, dear, don’t be discouraged.

i’ve been exactly where you are.

if you could see yourself like this.

you’dve never tried it.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you told me that you had to go.

throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.

don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’.

won’t you stay with me?

you’re gonna go far.

this is good land, or at least it was.

it takes a strong hand and a sound mind.

it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.

pack up your car.

put a hand to your heart.

say whatever you feel.

be wherever you are.

we ain’t angry at you, love.

you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost.

the birds will still sing.

we’ll be waiting for you, love.

we’ll all be here forever.

we spent so long just getting by.

that’s the thing about survival; who the hell likes livin’ just to die?

you told me you would make a difference.

it won’t be by your own volition if you step foot outside this town.

it’s all we’ve had for always.

you’re gonna go far.

if you wanna go far, then you gotta go far.

forever.

let’s drive for no reason.

you look fine in the evening.

honey, it’s starting to storm.

used to wish i meant anything to anywhere, to anyone.

i’m glad i get forever to see where you end.

i won’t be alone for the rest of my life.

i’ll meet a girl in the heat of july.

i’ll tell her so she knows.

i’m broke, but i’m real rich in my head.

when i hold her close, i might loosen my grip, but i won’t ever let her go.

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opikiquu · 8 days

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(rocking back and forth in the corner of an empty room) save me white boy save me white boy save me white boy s

oh my god. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS . BOY.

#my first reaction was ‘what? his eyes do glow!’ and then i proceeded to cry #★ arin rambles #sorry i need to let this out #AVENTURINE. AVENTURINE oh dear #IM DR RATIO YOOHOO #HEYYYYY HEY HEY HEY HEY PLELASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE #IM BEGGING YOU. IM BEGGING YOU #im getting a job so i can e6 him /j #Yall im obsessed with this man i have to have him kill me #like everytime i see him my eyes pop out like those ugly stupid pens with squishy animals on them #i think my body mustve sensed him or something #i literally woke up at 7 am in a cold sweat #im not gonna be normal #IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT #5 DAYS IS TOO LONG YALL IM NOT MAKING IT #IM GOING TO THROW UP #aventurine pleade aventurine please aventurine aventurine save me #AVENTURINE.#Please babygirl what i gotta do to get a suicidal blonde to kiss me around here???????#sorry if you follow me it will get worse #he a masterpiece . he changed my life . he a work of art…….#aventurine honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #AVENTURINE #OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OH MY GOD PLEASEEEE P #PLEASE ONE CHANCE ONE MINUTE ONE SECOND JUST A GLANCE #im gonan thriw up IM GONNA DIE #tears in my eyes

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bunni-bun · 2 months

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i finished love for love's sake. y'all weren't kidding when you said this would make me cry cuz lord, i haven't stopped crying.

i just. fuck bro.

as someone who's very much like myungha from the real world most days, realizing and being reminded that we need others to go on and to be happy is such a strong message to put out.

yeowoon still being able to remember parts of myungha's presence even when he was deleted/died are just. that's how the feeling of a loved one, of someone who's presence truly changed your life when they think it didn't, that's how that love stays. you can't erase that kind of love from and for a person. you can't.

people need other people. people need love. there are others out there who love you so much because you're that presence in their lives that cannot be erased, even if you think you're the problem. no matter how you try to take yourself out of the equation, you belong in someone's life and that person or people belong in yours.

love, friendship, community, even with just a few people, is always enough. you can't change someone else's story but you can help change your own. and people who love you will always want the best for you. people who love you will help change your story, they will help give you a better ending. that's life.

suffering happens and it hurts so much, it hurts so much. but through suffering, you can find happiness again. you can find someone who will help you, even when it feels like you can't do it yourself. love is help. love is reliance. love is so much good for us.

i'm crying so hard still because that really just hits so damn hard. i have depression, i have anxiety, im not suicidal anymore but life has thrown a rough set of circumstances my way. and so many times when i feel lonely, i have to fight to remember that i have a partner who loves me and a family that loves me and friends who love me. i have people who will help write my story, who will help me write the happy ending i deserve. i have love. i am a presence that would be missed. and reminding myself of that through this show means the absolute world to me.

i can't thank the creators of this enough. truly, from the bottom of my fragile heart, this show means the world to me. thank you.

#god i wish i could say more #i don't even what to say #other than i'm still bawling my eyes out #what an absolute masterpiece #cyndy watches bl #love for love's sake

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helloimaweirdo · 8 months

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#god #this is just so #i cant even describe it #i dont know what to say #how could you possibly caption this masterpiece #hermitcraft #iskall85 #hermitcraft iskall

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skayafair · 4 months

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Scared Vi

The thing I was finally able to put into a thought and into words after staring at gifs for 2 hours straight: throughout all the post-timeskip Arcane Vi is fucking scared of everything that's going on around her. AND she's on the brink of losing it pretty often. I need to rewatch (no idea when I'll be brave enough to ride this rollercoaster again) but I didn't notice it while watching, because, WELL, there was already TOO MUCH to take in, so some more subtle details escaped me. I've caught that Vi is very vulnerable in her honesty, openness and straightforwardness, but that wasn't all to it, and it bothered me! Because all three don't ooze the vulnerability 24/7 and that's what Vi looks like to me nearly all the time!

So I was wondering.

And here's the answer. She's been suddenly released out of her cell into the world that is now completely unknown to her. Yes the air of freedom is great, and she enjoys it, but at the same time there's always this frightened undertone.

She's constantly on the edge.

Not in the least because when things that used to be familiar, like your home, ones you used to know like the back of your hand, change but not completely, it's the worst trap of all, the most confusing and anxiety inducing. How much of what you remember is still the same? How much changed? Can you trust its exterior even if it looks the same? Or would it betray you in the worst possible moment? How do new things work? How do they work WITH the old things? I've experienced it once coming back to my former workplace that changed quite a lot but no one bothered to fill me in so I was piecing together the information for a YEAR. And I might not be the brightest but I'm not dumb either. I'm pretty good with systems. It was BAD.

So I can't imagine how much worse and disoriented Vi must have felt. And Caitlyn took her out of jail to SHOW HER AROUND. Having no idea how the world Vi used to know so well changed just in several years. So she's on a look out all the time. And her eyes, her expression betrays her put up exterior of confidence and maybe even arrogance, leaking this anxiety and straight up fear almost all the time.

She looks like a frightened, lost little girl. And when she doesn't, she looks like a desperate teenage girl who tries to punch her way out of every problem because she's backed into a corner and that's the only way she knows, even if it never helps. (No seriously, the only time it helped was against Silco's thugs and EVEN THEN they weren't completely dealt with and kept causing problems straight up to the bridge fighting scene. Vi's fists kept her alive and safer but they never SOLVED anything.)

I think the way she looks just SCREAMS fear and anxiety when she and Powder/Jinx fight back to back after the torch scene. Jinx looks like she's completely in her element, she knows these guys, she's been in situations like this time after time. It's habitual. She's very confident and almost careless there, moves freely, she knows what she's doing. She might even enjoy it. Vi, on the opposite... Vi, who's all about loose body language, free movement and such - nearly curls up into a ball against Jinx's back, keeping her fists and elbows close to herself. Vi NEVER looked like this again, I think. I... believe she was the most thrown off kilter back then. She finally found her most treasured and the only remaining piece of her past - her sister, and sure, lil Powpow changed, she had to survive, but she's still Vi's little sister!

Right?..

Wrong. Powder-Jinx back then is the quintessence of the trap Zaun is to Vi now: familiar pieces are all there, they're recognizable even if a bit changed, but you never know what lurks under the surface.

And gods does Jinx just demolish every last bit of the ground Vi was standing on. It's not even when Jinx goes full on unhinged, it's when she simply starts blasting bullets all around. When she fights and she's confident in what she does. Vi doesn't know this girl. Vi doesn't know this gang flying around. I bet she doesn't even know this TECHNOLOGY because the world made a whole leap technologically while she was stuck in her cell isolated from pretty much everything. It's like a literal time skip for her. And she doesn't know what to trust, so she can't trust anything no matter how much she wants to. And she HAS to want it, because she looked genuinely hopeful fresh out of Stillwater. Before she saw what her home turned into. Silco really did bring the monster out of it, not just himself or Jinx or shimmer junkies. The whole city. So Vi looks small, and frightened, and I think she's even panicking back in that scene.

She's ready to snap at any moment.

It's very interesting to me, because she looks tough and very mentally healthy on the surface but boooy are there mountains hidden underneath.

Vi does snap, actually. Several times. Her voice cracks as she's trying to convince Ekko she's THE Vi, same she used to be. She charges at Sevika TWICE. I think second time was much worse btw. She literally downs a drink IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT - I don't think it was out of mental stability. And, well, the cry in the end. She won, and it helped nothing again. Even her mental state. Another fragile moment with Vi is the way she looks around her sister. Vi is confident and action-charged by nature, she's energetic and isn't shy to take up space. So she never looks small... except when she's around Jinx. She's drowning in guilt, and this guilt is spilling out.

Interestingly enough, scenes when Vi DOESN'T have this scared/guilty/anxious/desperate look is around Cait. She's either playful, or actually confident, or even RELAXED. Which is... wow, all things considered. Part of it is a put up facade, of course, but only in the beginning. The ship sails itself huh...

A lot of people pointed out Caitlyn is about future in Vi's life centered around the past, but I think what's more important is that Cait is about the present. Plus, she's a familiar - an enforcer, a topside - turned unfamiliar in a GOOD way.

Gods once again I'm baffled at the level Arcane is thought through. These are subtle, small details, expressions that aren't exposed or accentuated like many other ones. They are underlying, but once you notice them it's a whole new tapestry unfolding right before your eyes.

As you can see, I'm very normal about Arcane and Vi in particular, yup, totally cool 😌👌✨

#yes I've watched Arcane just like a week ago what of it #sorry if it's been mentioned multiple times by now #I only watched several essays on YT and none talked about this #so #I'm kinda hyperfixated on Vi as you can probably see #this insane amount of work the creative team put into the characters #gods I'm so glad I can witness this masterpiece #arcane #vi arcane #jinx arcane #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane

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airlocksandaviaries · 10 months

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I finally watched the DnD movie and OHOHOHOHOHOHO I am about to be SO mentally not normal about this it’s not even gonna be fUNNY

#WHAT A MASTERPIECE #Im never gonna stop thinking about it #sorry to my followers #not sorry to my mutuals #you knew what insanity you were getting into #<33 #oh god #this is going to consume me actually #dnd movie #dungeons and dragons #honor among thieves #dnd honor among thieves

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strrwbrrryjam · 8 months

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the game of rdr2 is incredible, especially for me for the simple fact that, when i first started playing i already had the ending spoiled for me that arthur died-

and that was all i knew, i didnt know how it would happen, what lead to it happening etc etc

i knew from first impressions that micah was our bad guy, a villain from the moment we first meet him, he was just so good at being bad that he immediately made me despise him with every fiber of my being from the moment i met him

but it was dutch that gave me the most off vibes the more time we spent with him, i didnt trust him one bit, i dont know why i knew that he would betray us, but i just did,

and yet still, i fell for arthur and dutch's relationship, how close they seemed, how devoted arthur was to dutch, that i wanted to believe that i was wrong, that dutch would never do that to the man he helped, basically raise from when he was fourteen

and it just hit me like a freight train- because, this is how dutch does it, he makes you believe in something, believe that he is the good that is out there, your saviour, your salvation, that you start to become blind to what is happening, start looking at the actions that he commits as something good

and getting out of that can be so hard, that i understand why it took so long for arthur to see the wrong in his actions, to see what has happening all around him and what he had done and what his leader, his father, had turned into, or was he always this man? was your whole life a lie?

as much as i hate to say it, i dont think there was a way out for arthur, that, his death was sadly inevitable, he wouldnt get his happy ending- and he knew it

in reality i dont think arthur would ever have a happy ending, because, can you imagine, living with the guilt and the regret and the anger and the pain and just.. everything, the people youve killed, the lives youve destroyed,

because whether we like to mention it or not, strauss didnt force arthur, dutch didnt force arthur, sure, dutch could manipulate him, strauss could very well exasperate him, but it was arthur who decided to do everything, out of his own free will-

living with that revelation? that would destroy a man, especially one who cares and loves so deeply like arthur, and thats why he knew that he would never get his happy ending, so he decided to make good on what dutch preached for his fellow gang members, to get them out, have the better life dutch told them they could have if they followed him, where the goalpost would move with every plan he makes

whether dutch liked it or not, he had raised the man who lead to the van der lindes gangs downfall and i think thats beautiful really- he filled arthurs head with ideas of salvation, and that lead arthur wanting salvation for those in the gang, working for the false purpose dutch had given them for his gang members, his family, till his dying breath

this game, this story, its incredible, a masterpiece really, the way its written, the depth that was given to their characters, its simply just a work of art that even when you already know whats going to happen, or end up guessing what can happen later in the game, it is still written in a way that it can have such an affect on you and cause you such pain and happiness all at once and.. its a masterpiece, really

i dont think there was really a point to what ive written, there could be several, there could be none at all, but i wrote it, so here

#i dont know what i wanted to say. i dont think i really had a point to all this but. god this game is such a masterpiece #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 arthur morgan #arthur morgan #rdr2 dutch van der linde #dutch van der linde #rdr2 micah bell #micah bell #strawberry rambles #strawberry speaks #personal

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