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v7n5 · 2 months

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Feel like pure shit, just want a smutty multi-chapter Howard Hamlin fanfic that recounts the many secret sexual affairs that he has had with different people throughout the course of his life, most of which he sought out to recompense for the lack of intimacy in his marriage because both him and Cheryl were iron-closeted and only got married out of familial pressures (things took a turn for the worse after the fight that ended with Howard moving into the guest house). Ultimately, none of them could fulfill his wants and needs because they're all cold and distant in their own ways: there were the handsome strangers he met at some gay bar like Nacho who were emotionally unavailable and only wanted to dick and dash like they're in denial themselves; Jimmy whom he was smitten with and trusted to be able to keep a secret, but it didn't take him long to realize that Jimmy being selfish and cruel and rougher than Howard had liked and not paying any mind to Howard's own pleasure in bed was his way of getting back at him for being a jackass of a boss; Chuck whom he'd got especially close with ever since he was still studying pre-law, so close that he would make up any excuse to be alone with him and suck him off in his office from time to time to seduce his mentor because the daddy issues that had been developing throughout his father-absent youth came to fruition the moment a wiser and older man gave him a sliver of attention, Chuck allowed him to live out his fantasy but never reciprocated in that sense but they remained really good friends, hence Howard's desperation for his approval and affection and the idea of "I still have a chance" kept brewing in his mind even when he could see Rebecca out of the corner of his eye (the incident at the end of ss3 scarred him for life and talking about the intimate details of their relationship before it in therapy did not help). The latter half of 607 didn't happen because he decided that he was in fact the bigger person and the right thing to do was to drink himself into reflecting back on his life choices and wallowing in his own self-pity. Though he didn't storm Mcwexler's condo, the whole ordeal was still his Joker moment, so he put his foot down, got a divorce and resigned from his CEO position because fuck you, he deserves to do that. And maybe after a year or so, he met a certain Salamanca who got out of a certain shoot-out unscathed (haven't determined if Howard happened to stumbled into El Michoacáno or he went back to the gay bar), their chemistry was through the roof, they bonded over the loss of families/ lovers and "being a nepo baby is oh so hard", their romance blossomed because Lalo was textbook definition of charming and exactly Howard's type. One date led to another, and Howard ended up getting the best pipe he'd ever had while trying to hold back the tears stemmed from indescribable emotions. Would Howard find out who Lalo actually was? Would it matter? Would they last? Those are problems for future them.

Like literally that's all I want tbh.

#howard hamlin #He's my girl. My fucking princess.#Idc like he's still rightfully owed a soft dom who's gonna take good care of him and appreciate him #(as much as I feen for power bottom Howard)#The slutification of this middle-aged man HAS to be riddled with angst or else I'll die #1 of the worst things that could ever happen to me is getting ideas that I think are good but cannot for the life of me do anything about it #That and becoming a **** ****** but we're not trauma dumping today #Being a bilingual with an English-leaning brain is not the W that people made it out to be #Honestly Nacho came into the picture when I was deadass half unconscious. I was like 'Ariana what are you doing here???'#But it's hot. And I kinda wanted Nachoward to win a bit #I also wanted to squeeze Gus in there too but in my head it'd be an 'admirer from afar' type of deal. Like Howard would have a crush on him-#-but decided against making a move cuz he would think Gus is out of his league or sth #This is essentially a Howard x everyone who I think could be compatible with him fanfic #For clarification. Cheryl and Howard don't hate each other. if anything they're each other's emotional support system #But I feel like there's only so much pretense you can put up you know #And yes. Lalo and Nacho were in love there.#Ok I've got it all out there now. Time for me to go marinate in shame #nacho varga #jimmy mcgill #chuck mcgill #lalo salamanca #better call saul

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loppiopio · 5 months

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i've been sitting on this post for a few days now and it's literally just, me making assumptions about kudos i've noticed on fics lately (particularly aci since i've been checking that fic every week for book club these past few months) and this'll make me seem more insane than i already come off but by this point. how much lower can i go?

just going from top to down as of today.

[ShibaLee] i know you from your art on here!! tumblr user shibaleeart i'm happy to see more people in potentially enjoying the stories this fandom has to offer :>

[reiscm] shizuchansmilk?? what are youuu doing here? i didn't know you read shizaya fic tbh and i was surprised to see you here suddenly, relatively recently too. does that mean you just started the fic then?? after at least a year of being in the fandom right? maybe this wasn't from your first time reading it (same) but at the very least it shows you visited it not too long ago… i may be delusional in thinking i could be a contributing factor there because, why now? it's not like i'm the only aci advocate out there but i've probably been the most vocal about it around this time soo… well whatever it is, hope you had fun with it! i'm so curious what drrr comedian shizuchansmilk thinks about hit fanfiction a cheap imitation 👁️

i'm also recognising some of the other names around here like [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] even though i haven't the faintest idea who they might be. i've just been seeing them lately across different shizaya fics which probably means these are the people doing their shizaya fic dive around this time. i have nothing more to add there i just, think it's cool noticing the same names across fics like yeah, we all feasting on the shizaya tag rn.

[ya_boi_twink] it took me a second to recall where i'd recognised your name from and then it hit me. i knoooow you! tumblr user yaboitwink in my notifs… i appreciate you, and i'm glad you liked the things i made for it c:

[bun_o_ween] oh i know you're here because of mr crapo. i hope you guys had fun with it! i wanna take the chance to also admit that like. the moment i found out you were that sebastian writer i experienced the wildest sense of deja vu. because. i had seen your name on ao3 before. but when i checked your fics there was no way i'd read a fic from you?? so then i realised i must have recognised you... through other kudos on other fics??? dude. i must sound crazy, i have no way of proving this because i actually don't remember what fics these were i just vaguely remember it was either bsd or tgcf? that i was looking at fics for, trying to find something to sate my hunger at the time. and i just remember, noticing your name across like a few of these fics in a row and thinking "heh someone else has been going down the same rabbit hole" AND NOW I SEE YOU AND CRAPO OF SHIZAYA FANDOM HITTING IT OFF it was surreal. like. my awareness of you had zero to do with black butler, i could not have predicted that you would have been the random ao3 user i'd seen apparently enjoying some of the same fics i was not too long ago. wow.

there are like two separate flamingo related names around here [niceflamingo] and [flamingoo] which doesn't mean anything but for some reason they are standing out enough for me to want to mention them. i feel like i've seen ao3 user flamingoo in the kudos of some other fic before but idk.

[Luzki] omg hey!! twitter artist vi_138_ woah hiii funny seeing you here :0 especially like. not so long ago? since i'd imagined you would've been aware of the fandom for a while since you seem more invested in the alts than shizuo and izaya in particular? well it was cool seeing that you'd read this one, i hope ya had fun!

[frogsarefriends] right under that is artist hallucxnating >:O i know they've read the fic already but it was cool to actually recognise their kudo down here, especially since it's like. not recognisable just from the name alone, but you've shared links to this ao3 as your writing so now i know it's you. my impression is that you came into the fandom through slavhew since, i'd connected the dots at some point that you two were friends which. made a lot of sense since i noticed you both started being active around here at the same time lol. but hey!! welcome to the club :D

[7FlyingPancakes7] this is one of the ones i'd noticed earlier on during book club, i distinctly remember checking a chapter while walking home one night (because i do that i guess) then BAM what the hell?? i just see tumblr user mari-lair's ao3 appear down there, totally out of nowhere for me. for context this was a writer from the tpn fandom i recognise from like 4 years ago? idk it's been a while, i didn't talk to them much but they were active in the fandom at the time so i'm familiar with their name. i haven't been keeping up with them but last i'd seen they seemed to be into tbhk with no indication as far as i was aware that they'd shown any interest in shizaya. nothing wrong with that it was just unexpected, so i was just like woah!! how did you get here? i am so curious how they may have come across this fic, was it some rec from a friend? how familiar are they with shizaya? how invested were they in the story and characters? enough to go down more of shizaya's greatest hits? anyways, that was just a fun little small world moment for me.

[psych0tastic] hey isn't this…. axietoh? like, the artist who used to draw shizaya like 5 years ago? what are they doing here so high up the list? 🤔 i have no clue lol i still follow them because i really like their art style but i hadn't noticed their interest in shizaya resurfacing... i suppose they just haven't been too active on these socials in general. anyways their name stood out to me and i was like, wait….. well it's a shocker seeing their name so high up here, were they reading this fic for the first time there or were they revisiting it and happened to have not kudo'd it until then? well anyways, it's nice to see they've revisted the fic within the last two years at least :0 that's cool to me.

[MiyukiWynter] dude i was feeling crazy just now trying to figure out where i'd recognised this name from because i'd swwooooorn i'd seen it from somewhere like as someone on twitter?? i think i was mixing them up in my mind with unrelated (as far as i'm aware) twitter user miiyankhr but turns out they're someone who's fics i've seen in the tags before. i haven't read them myself but apparently they just posted a new one two days ago so that's crazy.

[Dodomka] heyyy it's dodo from twitter, hellooo 👋 they've been the biggest supporter for my deep in the sauce fic tweets and for that i appreciate them very much :3 didn't expect to see them here tbh i wasn't aware of when they'd first read the fic but as i was expanding the list a few times to write up this post i noticed their name here and just thought that was neat. shout-out to them!

[mochi010] there's a user named mochi that has shown up in my twitter notifs somewhat regularly and they have nothing on their account so i have zero clue what they might be like outside from that they've been liking my shizuo and izaya retweets. their handle isn't even mochi so i have very little reason to believe this could be them but idk, maybe? no conclusion has been made here. well i already spent time writing and cleaning up the paragraph, guess i'm leaving it in.

shout-out to [ouiouipussay] and [ramenflavorpacketsnorter420] just for having some names that stand out lol. i don't recognise you from anywhere but, i guess now i will if i ever come across those names again.

[Stupidusernamepolicy] i struggled to find you amidst all these names for the writing of this post 💀 had to ctrl+f that shit. but i remember seeing your name here while i was going through the list some days before and being like "oh hey!! it's slavhew :)" but okay there's actually a tangent i've been wanting to go on from here.

outside of aci i've actually been noticing you and hallucxnating double duo'ing under some fics together, like after the story era which i'd reread after hallu reminded me of its existence in a reply, and also sacramental which i had reread because of your reply, lol. i find this quite funny, just like. this visual representation of you two reading and recommending fics with each other. then you talk about it on twitter and more people like me are visiting this fic too. chain reaction of sharing stories :)

ALSO [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] spotted down here in some of these kudos too!! that's craazy. wow. i tell you guys i'm recognising these names i'm not just crazy 😭

[NotElectricT] this took me a second to dig up again since it's quite buried down that list at this point but the plan i'd had in mind for this post was to end on this one since i saw them kudo it right in front of me (through the vc stream) and i didn't think this post would get as long as it did but... well i already wrote it 😬 but yeah, this is my good friend note! check out this art they made for, still one of their favourite chapters, sharks fly. it's sandwiched in between some squid game au they made for a gift exchange for me..... it's a long story i don't wanna talk about it (embarrassing......)

but what i do wanna talk about!! is how note (referred to as "patient zero" regarding aci book club by the only other patient lol) just decided to read this fic completely of their own volition?? i didn't tell them to do that and for sure didn't expect them of all people to try reading it, ever (they're not really a fic reader) but they just did that, two years ago. and that was like, insane to me at the time because it's seriously so out of their depth guys they don't do enemies to lovers.... they still don't lol. but i was insane about this fic back then with no one to really be insane about it to so i just yelled about it to these friends out of context and i guess???? that was convincing enough to get this one to start the longest fic they'd ever read 💀

i had much fun having someone experience the fic i'd been insane over..... like i'm smiling about it rn thinking about the time i did a live reading of the chainsaw man (as i like to call him) chapter which was so fun i kinda forgot i had a hamilton musical i was supposed to watch that evening... that was awkward. and other chats we exchanged regarding the fic (they were reading chapters whenever they felt like it which i enjoyed because i like pacing these things out) but for some reason (i think things just happened around the time that disrupted the momentum) they never made it past chapter 26 😔 which was tragic to me but oh well....

well i'm am even more insane about this fic now because of this convoluted chain of events that gradually built and cascaded me towards whatever the fuck i'm doing now!! god. i've never made so much, anything, like ever. until now. because both note and rosa (who has not kudo'd this fic as far as i'm aware lol) made the decision beyond my expectations to commit to, a book club. which i organised. and i've been having a lot of fun! so much fun, there's all this wild "marketing" stuff i've been churning out in record fucking time by my standards. i've never felt so creatively fulfilled dude, never finished a thing in my life until these past few months. so that's awesome, and it's in large part because of note having committed to this fic again. so that's some of the story behind that one kudo haha.

and now we're at chapter 49, we're supposed to be talking about it tomorrow, which is today by now since it's 1 am but uhhhhhhh writing is so hard. i was supposed to just be cleaning up this draft i'd written like 5 days ago? i am now very hungry. there's actually more i'd drafted up from here just from more names i recognised as i kept expanding the kudo list that day buuuut i'm fuckeeeen cutting this off right here. i need to stop. the end.

#durarara #i said a thing #if you've kudo'd aci within the past year and you think i'd recognise your name there's a good chance you're in this #this post is adhd as fuck holy shit #well #if anyone has read a single entire paragraph of it thanks :)#too much time spent writing something no one will read?? but idk someone might??? ughhhh #i will maybe go back through to hyperlink more of the artists and writers i mention here #idk #we'll see haha i'm huuuuungry i need to eat something #if you enjoyed reading any of this i'd appreciate letting me know because i did spend way too long writing it for real 😭#but it's fine what's done is done #getting it out noooooooow #nevermind i spent another half hour formatting the images #i needsta to get diahnosed #i had the briefest mention of actual twitter user miiyankhr in between stupidusernamepolicy and notelectrict #just acknowledging that i saw their actual name in the list #but i cut it because it was literally a sentence or something and this post is already ridiculously bloated #gonna eat now bye please post don't fucking breaaaaak i will die

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running-in-the-dark · 25 days

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#currently crying because I'm alone with my husband's 94 year old grandma and I'm the only one who ever lets her talk about certain topics #so she just talked about her childhood and youth for one and a half hours #which means. the war #I'm not gonna go into it but it makes me cry every time even though I've already heard it all before #how can you not cry about a child who lost two of her teenaged brothers and had to watch the third one very nearly die too #the stories about how careful they had to be because the police constantly went to every house and checked everything #how they had to hide some of the milk from their cows so they could make butter because they couldn't afford to buy it #and how dangerous that was.#idk I'm so tired of people dying over senseless and unnecessary shit forever and ever and nothing ever changes and no one ever seems #to learn from it #or at least the ones in power don't #as long as there's disposable people (men) to send to war it doesn't matter. and now that's not even necessary anymore you can just kill #people from far away and. I'm just tired #and I'll shut up now and not talk about these things again as usual. it's not because I don't care it's because it (literally) drives me #insane to think about it and I know it's weak and pathetic but I have to choose to stay just barely sane enough to stay alive #can't stop crying. 🙃#anyway. shouldn't talk about it so. bye

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krikeymate · 1 year

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Scream 7 opening concept:

It's late, the scene is a police station. It's pretty empty except for a couple of old and crotchety desk jockeys. A handcuffed Tara is being walked into a cell. Her hands are cuffed in front of her and she's a little beat up, and scowling. The cop tells her that her sister is on her way, and not to look at him like that, if she didn't want to be here then she shouldn't have assaulted an officer. She slouches down on a bench with a huff, and the cop leaves. There's some drunk who flirts with her from the other side of the cell - what's a girl like you doing in a place like this, and other such things - he's handcuffed to a bench.

The lights go out.

The drunk makes some comment about it, but Tara's alert, it sets her anxiety off. One of the cops heads over to a breaker box and fixes the lights, mumbling about shitty funding. He goes back into the office to find his partner missing. He looks around a bit, calling for him, before finding him dead under a desk, he sees nobody else around. He runs to the cells to check they're still locked, and Ghostface appears behind him, stabbing him in the neck.

"Hello, Tara. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Tara's eyes flick between the Ghostface and the drunk, who is visibly confused and upset about what is happening.

Meanwhile, Sam, irritated, walks into the police station and finds the receptionist is conked out at her computer. She puts a hand on her shoulder after she doesn't respond, and she rolls over dead.

Back to the cells, Ghostface bends down to take the cell keys from the cops body and begins to unlock the cell. Tara has stood up and backed away as far as she can. She eyes the door as Ghostface walks in, wondering if she can get past them. She tries, and fails. Ghostface slams her head into the bars, dazing her. "This isn't the place for you Tara, but I know where you belong." The Ghostface grabs her, one hand on her shoulder, the other grabs her by the hair, and marches her out of the cell and back into the office room.

They find Sam holding a gun in their direction, she took it from one of the dead cops.

"Tara, you ok?" "Well, I haven't been stabbed yet, so pretty good I guess." "Great, now fucking let go of my sister. This won't end well for you."

Ghostface releases Tara's shoulder to hold a knife to her throat instead. "Are you going to shoot me Samantha? Have you been practising your aim?" Ghostface moves Tara more in front of them, using her as a shield. "I hope so, you wouldn't want to accidentally hit Tara now, would you?"

Sam falters, the gun lowering slightly. Tara tries to struggle, but the grip on her hair is strong and they press the knife harder to her neck. "Ah ah, behave."

Ghostface starts to move forward, Sam stepping back. They pivot around the room, until their positions have been reversed. Ghostface goes to step out the room when a shot rings out and the knife goes flying. Ghostface's been shot from behind, it's Kirby.

The shock has them loosening their hold on Tara, and she throws herself forward at her sister, who grabs her and lifts the gun up again. Sam presses Tara's head against her and covers her free ear with her hand before taking a couple shots at Ghostface, while Kirby does the same from behind.

Ghostface dies, and when they unmask them... they have no idea who this person is... or what they wanted. Well, they search him and find several photographs of Tara. Guess they do know what he wanted afterall.

#/mp #Scream #Sam Carpenter #Tara Carpenter #Scream 7 #scream concept #my writing tag #the tags tag #Tara has been in two openings so far and we need to see her in a third. but not if she's gonna die thanks lmao #this post is inspired by my need to see more of Tara's anger issues thank you #don't @ me about the 'process' - Tara's an adult getting treated like a child because of extenuating circumstances #there gets to be a running theme of what exactly is 'a girl like this'. the girl in question being pretty angry and unstable tbh.#she's sick and tired of everyone trying to tell her who she should be #the best part about this concept is it works with so many Ghostface options. is it a cult? will it be her mum? her dad? some stalker?#alternative line: “Great now fucking let go of my sister or I'll shoot you in the head.”#there was a second post I thought of half way through writing this and now I've finished I've entirely forgotten what it was. shit.

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