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iguessitsjustme · 10 months

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On Pat's Maturity

Earlier this week I wrote about Jeng and mentioned Pat’s maturity and I thought why not write about it a little bit while I have some time this morning. I have no idea how long or short this will be and I haven’t thought about it since writing my Jeng post so let’s see what happens.

I genuinely think that Pat is the most mature character on the show (well except Chot, but no one holds a candle to his maturity and honestly his guidance is probably why Pat is so mature now). At the beginning of the show, Pat was a new employee, didn’t know how to tell people no, was overworked, underappreciated, in the closet, and had a hard time regulating his emotions.

We can credit Jeng for some of Pat’s growth and maturity, but honestly, it was mostly Chot that showed Pat how to calmly and maturely approach any issues he might have in life. Chot was always there for Pat to go to for advice and Chot was the one character that Pat also knew was queer. Yay queer friendships! Oh boy I got off topic. Okay. So let’s break this down into two parts. Pat’s maturity at work and his maturity in his relationships.

Work:

Pat started as someone who was a hard worker, but didn’t necessarily know the basics of his job. He also had no problem calling out Ying when she threw him under the bus. And Pat’s ability to stand up for himself is probably what led him to be able to have the kind of growth that he’s had. Should he have thrown Ying under the bus like that? I’ve thought about it and I don’t think so. He absolutely should have alerted management to the issues going on, but there is a time and place for everything and that was not the time nor the place. But he was young and stressed and taken advantage of. This is Pat’s first office job and he genuinely did not know better. He had no idea how to handle that situation.

Now, Pat was successfully able to lead a campaign and despite what Chris’ mother said and did, he didn’t say anything. Pat learned that there was a time and place and also that he would need to calm down before saying anything. So when he was able to, he removed himself from the situation and gave himself the time and space to calm down. He then let Jeng and Jaab handle the issue. Jeng was in a position of power so it wasn’t just that he knew what to say and how to say it, but it was that he was in a position where his words held weight and he had the power to use those words. (It is still my favorite scene in the series and I did my best to gif it)

It’s not just that Pat was taught these lessons but that he was open to learning them. Do you know how many young people in their first office job aren’t receptive to learning because they think they know everything already? Just the mere willingness to learn and improve shows extraordinary maturity from Pat and I love him dearly for it. (This is not to say that all young people act like they know everything at first, just some and it’s annoying).

But how does Pat handle being harassed at work? I’m so glad you asked. Pat was basically forced to out himself or participate in a disgusting conversation that he did not want to be a part of. Pat chose to out himself and in the process got harassed. I’m going to say that I’m an advocate for throwing hands at harassers but that might not be the most mature way to handle it. Pat then let Jeng handle the situation and didn’t argue with Jeng’s decision. I think this really helped Pat have the backbone to say no in his personal relationships. Just knowing that there is one person in the world who will have your back makes it easier to handle the things that Pat handled with grace and maturity.

Relationships:

Kong - Pat was so excited to see his old friend. He thought maybe a spark would be there. Pat was searching for any sort of relationship outside of the potentially problematic feelings he had for Jeng. So when Kong was in town, Pat was delighted. He got ready, he let Chot do his hair, he was a young man ready to go meet people. Then Kong had to cancel and of course Pat was upset, but at no point did he blame Kong for canceling. This left the door open for Pat to see Kon later. When it turned out that Kong was trying to get Pat to join his MLM (ha), Pat finally, after some advice, firmly told him no. He also told Kong that he had crossed boundaries and he wasn’t okay with that. Early on, we see Pat establishing strict boundaries that he will not let people cross. Do you know how amazing it is to see such strong boundaries in a BL? And it’s coming from the youngest character.

Put - Oh Put. Oh darling, stupid Put. He is the least mature of Pat’s love interests. That probably worked fine before Pat grew up and started looking for an adult relationship. Put wasn’t able to effectively communicate with Pat. Whenever Pat tried to discuss anything even remotely serious, Put retreated behind a plushie to try to convince Pat that they were good and in love and Put was never able to face the issues they had. Pat wanted someone who was present and who would listen and Put wasn’t able to do any of those things. So Pat ended it in one of the most mature break up scenes I’ve ever witnessed.

Pat didn’t let his relationship with Put drag on. He wanted them to work but as soon as he realized that they wouldn’t work, he ended it.

Jeng - I think I mentioned in my earlier post that when Jeng and Pat start dating, Jeng basically turns into a teenager in love. Pat is the one in the relationship trying to make sure that they aren’t crossing any lines. And then when Pat starts facing harassment in the workplace again, he tries to go to Jeng, who is his boyfriend, yes, but is also his boss. Jeng approached that issue as strictly Pat’s boyfriend who was scared of the implications that acknowledging those rumors would have for their relationship. Pat approached that issue as Jeng’s boyfriend who wanted to face the issues together. He also knows Jeng is his boss and has helped him when being harassed before. So when Jeng tries to ignore the problem and not talk about it, Pat does the best thing he can do in that situation. He leaves. He had already left one relationship where he wasn’t listened to and communication was hard. Of course he leaves another when any and all attempts and communicating a very real issue that is affecting him in a very negative way is ignored in favor of a makeout session, attempted hand job, and then cuddling.

When Jeng says this, what Pat hears is that his concerns are not being taken seriously. Because Pat right now isn’t happy. He loves Jeng, but he loves himself too. And it is incredibly mature of him to remove himself from the toxic workplace instead of letting himself get harassed and then letting the harassment get ignored. If Pat stayed, all of that toxicity and harassment would fester and he would internalize it and Pat has already learned that he is allowed to say no. He’s allowed to have boundaries even at work. So he leaves.

I honestly think that leaving was the best thing Pat could have done for his and Jeng’s relationship. Not only did it stop him from internalizing things and potentially lashing out at Jeng because of it, but it served as a much needed wake up call for Jeng. Who needed to remember that at work, he is not Pat’s boyfriend, he is Pat’s boss. He was so lost in the new relationship and his love for Pat that he forgot about all of his duties and responsibilities outside of Pat. Relationships are about the people that are in them. But the world still exists outside of the relationship. Pat was forcibly reminded of that by his coworkers bullying him. Jeng was forcibly reminded of that by Pat leaving. Jeng is about to have to face the world alone, without Pat there to tell him where he fucked up. And honestly? Jeng was probably relying on Pat too much for that as well. Jeng tried to change but he tried to change for Pat meanwhile when Pat changed, he did it for himself.

This ended up longer than I expected. I’m tagging @magpie24601 since you mentioned you wanted to see a post about Pat’s maturity.

#step by step #step by step the series #step by step bl #this is what happens when i visit my parents and they leave me alone to go to church #i write about bl boys #and i'm dead tired because my one coworker got me addicted to caffeine again and the only caffeine in this house #is the god awful coffee that my dad makes #anyway do i know what i said in this post?#nope now idea i have no clue #i blacked out and wrote it and i refuse to read it #have fun #i wanted to include more screenshots but i am too tired to go looking #i'm gonna go hunt for some caffeine now wish me luck

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puppyeared · 1 year

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uhh. uhhhhh

#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot #half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t #ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK #two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe #bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it #i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were #actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that #except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS #what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st #started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which #i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know #primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to #MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i #have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense #Spotify #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #yapping #playlist #monkie kid

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aroaessidhe · 9 months

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2023 reads // twitter thread

Zombabe

paranormal YA set in a small town in 2003 where weird things happen that mostly get ignored

a boy is resurrected by his best friend after dying just before graduation. but he’s maybe a zombie now and if he ignores his hunger for flesh an ancient evil might start causing bigger problems

thankfully one of his friends’ aunt is a cop who has no problem helping get rid of some of the local nazis

queer teen friend group, m/m

#zombabe #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #i.s. belle #lgbtq books #i loved this!!!!!!#the like. 3rd person omniscient (i think) in a modern (ish) setting works really well actually?#and its one of those books that has little snippets of various side characters yknow what i mean.#it’s kinda slow building up until the end when it happens very fast #i have no idea where the next books will go????#I also really liked that like. while obv there's homophobia in the world (& the aforementioned nazis very much bully them up for being gay)#there's not any internalised homophobia or anything like that. and like even tho the nazis like threaten to kill them I guess-#you never feel like the actual threat and danger of it from the narrative. you know the bigots are just gonna die lol #is my intense fixation on wanting to bite my best friend a zombie thing or is it just the gay yearning i’ve been trying to ignore #I already made a post about this but tentatively comping to in the flesh.....zombies....slightly anachronistic small town people who #turn a blind eye to stuff..dark with a bit of humor...kind hearted quiet blonde gay boy MC....#I will say that ITF is a lot heavier re: mental health and like systemic oppression and stuff #(.....because I just rewatched it again. prompted by reading this book)#I will also note that; while I don’t think this is reskinned fanfic; the author used to write a lot of It movie fic #so if ur into that you might like this apparently it has similar vibes #nz author

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nopeferatu · 1 year

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i wish brokeback mountain fics entertained the idea that jack knocked lureen up and thats why they got married more often

cause in the short story jack mentions the fact that he'd never wanted kids or anything like that, so i think its highly plausible that bad luck jack, whos life never seems to go the way he wants it to, would fool around with some rodeo queen one night and he winds up getting her pregnant. and what else can he do but marry her? he's been taught to do the respectable thing, and her daddy would probably find and gut him if he sullied his little girl's reputation and left her to deal w it on her own anyways.

but i just think it would add an extra layer of sadness to it all...the idea that jack, whos pretty much only interested in men, probably only messed around with lureen because he was pent up and lonely and sexually frustrated, and heres this beautiful, rich rodeo cowgirl whos giving this poor ranch boy the eyes and making him feel wanted for once in his sorry godamn life. making him feel like someone sees something worthwhile about him. he doesn't prefer a woman, but he's desperate, and she chose him. she could've had her pick of the bar because shes a big deal and any man would've been lucky to have her, but she chose him.

and now this thing—that was supposed to just be a quick fuck in the backseat of her car to help quell the need for human contact until the next motel cowboy came along—is going to define his entire life.

hes going to do right by her and get married. shes going to have his kid. hes going to be a dad.

his whole life has been laid out before him and the one time he said fuck it and had sex with a woman is all it took for everything to be set in stone. its just so. fucking. sad.

#i think jack is such a sad character #a lot of fics lean into this idea of his endless optimism driving him to think that things could really go his way if he tried hard enough #despite getting the short end of the stick time and time again and its just like. ughhhh its just so heart breaking #i forget where i read this descriptiom at but it said #smth like his perserverence is what keeps getting him back on the bull every time he hits the ground because he knows what he wants and he #believes that if he just keeps trying he can wrangle life and make it bend to his will #and its just like :( like life just delt that boy such an unfair hand and he still didnt bend to it. he still felt like things could still #go his way till the very end. i feel like his hope may have wavered for awhile there after he mistook ennis' divorce for the sign that they #were finally gonna start a life together #but finally after his final meeting w ennis he just realized he was holding onto a lost cause and finally said fuck it. im gonna take life #into my own hands and im gonna try and get his new guy to come up with me and maybe it wont be the guy that i really want but maybe #i can grow to love him and finally stop living this half life. and just as hes about to try and make that happen he dies #guhhhhhhh #still brokeback posting #brokeback mountain

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seventeendeer · 1 year

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I JUST FINISHED SONIC FRONTIERS AND. ARE YOU FOR REAL. ARE YOU FREAKING FOR REAL

RIGHT AFTER I POSTED MY LONG ANALYSIS ABOUT HOW GIRLS IN SONIC GAMES ARE PRACTICALLY AN ENDANGERED SPECIES

#deerchatter #sonic frontiers #sage the ai #sonic frontiers spoilers #caps cw #yes im putting this in all the tags. look at my post boy #linking the post in question in a reblog #also yeah yeah yeah i know about the post-credits scene but YOU CANNOT TELL ME WE'RE EVER ACTUALLY SEEING SAGE AGAIN #sega's gonna read 1 review calling her cringe and be like get RID of the girl character we can't let people know we CAN'T WRITE WOMEN #sage is going to pop up as an unvoiced unlockable character in a spin-off phone game once and maybe get a comic cameo #this is so funny. it's so so so funny. literally like 3 days after i posted that analysis #she hits all the qualifiers too. supporting female character in her debut game going through emotional turmoil and dying at the end #to save a male recurring character she cares about and protect the world. she even got a dramatic space explosion like cosmo #the absolute comedic timing of it all. im crying but not for the reasons the game wanted me to i don't think #sonic frontiers was great otherwise btw had a lot of fun collected a lot of shapes 7/10 fun times good times lol #sketchertalkssth

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publius-library · 2 years

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Why do people say Alexander Hamilton Jr (Alexander's second son) was an asshole? I know he often left the family behind without consideration, but was there anything really else he did that was so terrible?

this is a really good question, and i honestly had trouble answering it. thank you @yr-obedt-cicero for basically doing my job for me GEJSBWMWV

still, there really isn’t much outside of the family that he did that was shitty. he was a divorce attorney so there was that

essentially the gist of everything cicero told me (imma cite the sources they gave me in case you want to do further reading) was that alex jr in general left his family in times of financial hardship to fend for themselves, putting all the responsibility on james to be basically the eldest son (cicero also has a good post on this). he also stole his father’s papers and tried to get an unreasonable amount of money out of e. holly’s will.

tl;dr outside of being a shitty brother, he wasn’t the worst person, but was a really shitty brother

https://deadbishop-blog.tumblr.com/post/86053680832/my-dear-philip-i-hope-you-have-taken-measures-to

As Phil II was writing a calendar and description of every letter and on one he wrote; “… taken by my brother Alexr Hamilton from the House of my sister E[liza] H Holly immediately after her death without any colour of right or authority …,” dated, December 30, 1859 (from my dms with @yr-obedt-cicero bc the link didn’t work)

https://books.google.com/books?id=KL9cAAAAcAAJ&pg=PA65&lpg=PA65&dq=It+was+my+good+fortune+to+have+almost+the+entire+care+and+management+of+her+affairs.+The+elder+son#v=onepage&q=It%20was%20my%20good%20fortune%20to%20have%20almost%20the%20entire%20care%20and%20management%20of%20her%20affairs.%20The%20elder%20son&f=false

#alexander hamilton #alexander hamilton jr #hamilkids #hamilton family #history #again thanks to cicero for being super thorough and awesome #i dont know jack shit about hamilton’s kids really #like i did one post on them but i haven’t really gotten the chance to go in depth on their lives #im moving very slowly through hamilton’s life its gonna be a while till i get to the next generation GSJWHWJWB #they are interesting to learn about tho #bc most of the boys have parallels with hamilton its really cool to see #also i think this issue specifically is an interesting contrast between alexander hamilton jr and sr #bc ham sr was very family oriented #as a child he really looked up to his mother and sought her approval #(last part is my speculation)#then after he was orphaned he really idolized the family structure ie the stevenses and that one poem about a mother losing her child #and ESPECIALLY after he married eliza and had kids of his own #he really craved closeness in a familial environment #so reading this about aj is really interesting bc he seems kind of cold towards his family??#this may just be my interpretation but he seems to really not have like strong emotional ties to his siblings especially #like they don’t seem close bc if they were james would probably have expressed his stress to him at least #so he seems kind of like the estranged black sheep #this is all in the tags bc its irrelevant to your question but i still think its interesting #my tags are like optional reading HSJSBWK #okay i’ll shut up now

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finch-the-foolish · 1 year

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Okay boys, time for yet another round of angst, plushy Jim edition. Whoo. This is because of @pesky-bird7, blame them for my crimes against the little guy. Also if anyone cares I might compile a list on how well I think people can sew in canon just cause.

threads and seams (and how not to tear them)

by lqmie

TW/CW for self harm, suicidal thoughts and actions, body horror

Jimmy had never liked his seams. They were a reminder of what little he was, what little he had become. Nothing more than a little plush, cursed to live on even in this twisted form.

Besides, they had an irritating tendancy to tear, and he often found himself limping into some half-trusted home—usually whoever's was nearby in which he could assume safety—and awkwardly requesting help patching himself up. Sometimes it was by monsters or accidents or his own twisted hand; his answers were usually the former two, and it didn't take long for him to hear murmurings of his latest screw-up across the empires. He was a point of ridicule, after all.

He was exhausted of it. Exhausted of the cruel jokes and the terrible insults and the constant suffering. He was tired of feeling like a sad little creature of plush, skin forever marred by those damned strings.

Every glance at them brought about a strange sort of anger, furthered still by that awful string at his back, which forced a chorus of humiliating phrases from his lungs with each tug. He hated that, too. He hated it all.

One day, if only to avoid more embarrassing visits to some unkind neighbour's house, he made the decision to get himself a sewing kit—he should learn, he reasoned, being a functional toy after all. As terrible and irritating a fact as it was, it was true. And sure, borrowing it from Scott may prove a mistake in the future, but that hardly mattered to him. He was the sheriff, he made the rules. Who cares what the others say?

After fleeing Chromia with his prize, Jimmy headed home, taking inventory of his new kit in one of the many empty rooms of Tumble Town. That was another resentment—this place had long been lonesome, empty, with few travellers and fewer residents still. On the bright side, nobody was likely to walk in on him and his.. newly procured goods.

Jim smiled, carefully pulling apart the contents of the little bag; a handful of seemingly random buttons, countless needles of assorted sizes, what seemed to be a multitude of thread spools, all varying in remaining length, a rather broken looking tape measure, some rusty scissors (two pairs of them, he later found; both of wildly different sizes), and a seam ripper, among other things he couldn't quite remember the names of.

Reaching out across the floorboards, he picked up the seam ripper. There was a strange temptation in holding the tool, a sudden inexplicable urge to tear out those damned seams and- and- do something, certainly. Recreate himself, but better, even if it took tearing himself apart bit by bit to fix it all.

The idea was oddly tempting; he'd always loathed the strange edges across his skin, always despised how prominent the markings were. And there were other things he could fix, too—small alterations he could easily make. He could become something… else. Something better than the frail little creature he was now.

He gripped the thing tightly, quietly considering the idea. After a moment, he shook his head, setting it back, the reality of doing such a thing dawning upon him.

Jimmy didn't approach that messy bag of supplies until several days later. Today had been particularly harsh—a day of rough comments and insults barely veiled as teasing, yet another attempt at violence—dear god, why did they never really kill him? why wouldn't they let the poor man go if they cared that little?—a tiring, awful day which merely drove home the fact that he wasn't good enough, he would never be good enough like this.

Holding back a storm of emotion, he ascended the stairs, finding the bag sat just where he'd left it, hidden in a long-empty barrel where no one would be snooping.

Jim drew in a sharp breath, a shaky hand dragging it from its hiding place. He rummaged through it, and then, unsuccessful in his searching, dumped the contents onto the floor. He didn't care enough to gather it neat; he just wanted to fix himself, however that may be.

He grabbed at the seam ripper, tentatively weighing it in his hand. He wasn't entirely certain how it worked—he never had been with most sewing tools, frankly—but it didn't deter him. Careful, he held out one arm, staring down at the clear line of stitching; as he did, some awful jab at how easy it would be to merely tear him apart floated through his head, sending a shudder through his form. Jim wouldn't let that happen. He was going to make sure nobody could hurt him again.

The sheriff took in another breath, steeling his nerves, and jabbed the blade into the threads. A sharp pain shot through his arm, and he nearly shrieked, allowing only a pained gasp out. He had to be strong. He had to.

Shaking slightly, he dragged the blade forward beneath the thin ribbons of thread, wincing as they were cut. The slicing was awkward, fraying the threads as the blade passed, and some part of him questioned if he was doing it right.

Still, he shook his head, continuing on. A dull sense of wrongness overtook his mind, and he watched the ripper drag further up, tearing sharp into his thread and cloth. Gods, it hurt. His arm burned, aching with a pain which he shouldn't have even felt—there was naught but a strange, fluff-like material beneath his skin, though looking at it made him ill—and every slight movement sent a jolt of further suffering through him.

Jimmy stared at the frayed line, a sudden, sickening feeling swirling deep in his gut. He… he shouldn't have done this. He…

The thought trailed off, lost by an abrupt swirl of memory; all the taunts, all the menacing, hurtful words floated through his ears in an array of harm, and his illness turned to a stark rage. His mind seemed to watch, distant, as he gripped the seam ripper tighter, tearing it across the remainder of his arm's seam, dragging it across his hand's cruel bindings. He hated it. He hated it all. He wanted it gone now.

On the topic of those taunts…

With a crazed, manic look, he turned, tightly grasping the string which was so annoyingly attached to his back. He wanted that gone, too. He reached back with his other hand, slicing at the thing. A sharp pain shot through his back, and he cried out, something in it drawing him to his senses.

He found himself standing there, a seam ripper with the remnants of his many seams and stitches still clinging to its blade clutched in his hand, shuddering terribly. He stared at it a moment, before throwing it to the floor, gaze quickly returning to the horror which was his arm.

It was mangled, terrible, many of the seams poorly ripped and shredded, cloth holding awkward, barely together. He could clearly see the fluffy something beneath, peeking out in those terrible holes which he'd wrought upon himself.

A sharp sob drew up in his throat, and he let it fall, crumpling to the ground. The movement elicited another pained noise, and he curled in on himself, eyes squeezed shut if only to avoid looking at the horror of his limb.

What in the world had come over him? He felt terribly sick, and yet hollow but for the still-singing edges of pain which graced his arm and back with their awful presence.

How long he sat there, Jim didn't know. It seemed an eternity had passed when a voice rang out through the stairwell.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Is-"

The voice, heavily accented, cut off, a head appearing in the stairwell. Jim just stared, eyes blurred from tears and fright at his own actions.

"J- Jim? What in the world-" The figure—Scott, he now realised—looked over the scene, gaze soon fixing on his largely-limp arm. "Oh. Oh shit."

He started over, crouching down next to the smaller man, who simply looked away, tears still freely falling from his face.

"Jim- what happened?" Scott stared at his arm, eyes wide with horror at the torn cloth, the twisted remnants of thread which had been so poorly removed.

"I- I couldn't take it.. I wanted it gone… I- I hate it- I hate everything-" The words were stuttery, broken by choked sobs, barely coherent.

Scott paused a moment, before carefully venturing, "You… did this? You cut your… seams?"

The sheriff glanced at him, giving a hesitant nod. His uninjured hand gestured weakly to the seam ripper, still cast aside on the wooden planks.

Scott stared at the thing, the pieces quickly falling into place in his mind. Then, he turned back, gently grasping Jim's unharmed shoulder.

"Why, exactly, did you cut them? Are you-" Scott stopped, suddenly, spotting a thin cord left on the floor just behind the pair. One hand, shaky, rose to his mouth as he realised what it was.

"J- Jimmy-" He pulled the small man into a light hug, careful not to disturb his wounds. "I…"

Scott sat back, a soft sigh escaping him. He could ask questions later. All that mattered right then was making sure Jim didn't fall apart completely.

"C'mon. I'll help fix up your arm, if you're willing to let me."

Jim paused a moment, before nodding, letting Scott take his arm, wincing at each small motion.

It took what felt like hours of careful work, hours of twinging pain, but Jim's arm was finally restored. As for that stupid drawstring, he'd managed to convince Scott to leave it, his disdain of the thing coming in drawing, sharp breaths as memories of all the times others had taken advantage of it returned.

Scott bandaged up the wounds, too, setting Jim's arm into a little makeshift sling to keep it from tearing anew. Alongside these physical repairs, though, were more mental assurances, promises that he was not hated, not despised and unwanted, that there were people who cared, who loved him as he was.

It was hard to believe, after all that time of hurt, but Scott still stayed with Jim for several days longer, watching to ensure he recovered. He took the sewing kit as well—he'd been wondering where it had gone ages ago—and Jimmy was glad to see it gone. Perhaps he could afford to stop in Chromia next time he had such an accident.. perhaps he wouldn't hear of his misfortunes for ages to come there.

Perhaps he really was loved. Perhaps he really was enough, even as a being of thread and cloth. Perhaps he could be alright.

#this post was brought to you by The Dismemberment Song. A Sadness Runs Through Him. and Boreas.#anyway guess who learned how to use a seam ripper (and how not to!)#guess which method mr the sheriff used!#also I've been reading Frankenstein (the original one with the fun early 19th century writing) so uh #guess whose writing style is gonna subconsciously mimic dead people again?#uhm anyway. writing yay. had more fun than I should've with this.#time to go yell about my baby boy faerie jim now :D #lqmie says things #writing #empires smp #jimmy solidarity #TW self harm #TW self mutilation #TW suicidal thoughts #gods my writing is fucked up #is it the mental illness or the book about mankind's fallacies? yes.

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