#gonna have to call again fml

[nerdie-faerie]

Shout out to little brothers that always know exactly how to rile you up without even trying

#Demon Spawn #and a happy holidays to all! #ive been home two days 😭 fml #one of my oldest brothers ate the present he was giving another brother so he was gonna go to the shops to replace it after our family meal #i had to get presents afterwards too because i tried doing it yesterday and my mum argued with me about where i wanted to go dragged me to #other places until it was too late to get what i needed so i was like #oh me too just come with me he was like nah ill get dad to drop me home then cycle back down to town again and i was like ??? okaaay #anyway i finish my shopping and he calls me and asks me if actually i can get it for him im in heeled boots and the shop i wanted #was right next to the bus stop so i really did not want to go through the high street to the shop he wanted #as that would then mean id need to walk the half an hour uphill back home but i was like okay fine get to the shop and theyve sold out of it #since yesterday so i call him to tell him his options he doesnt answer so after i couple times i text him then carry on calling #i musta called him like 10 times and am about to leave when he finally calls me back only to tell me that actually he wont get him anything #and im like well what are you gonna do tomorrow then you were stressing about not having anything and hes like its fine so im like whatever #and head to the bus stop he then calls me back! asks me to get something anyway so im kinda pssed off with at this point but im not letting #another one of my brothers go without a christmas present if the rest of us have something thats just not fair so ill do it so i grab it get #home my feet are already blistered and i see ive got two texts from him telling me to tell him when im home so i text him ill be up in a sec #i take it up to him he looks at it - its exactly what he asked me to get!! - and hes like i dont need it ive got something else #and im like what!? all of that for nothing?? he did at least pay me back for it but fml

[agayconcept]

.

#booooo i have an early morning orthodontist appt and i h8 everything #its 2 cities over #Ugh #and ofc its in an area w atrociously bad public transit #the joys #i've already moved money in my bank acct for an emergency uber / taxi if it takes too long #h8 everything #h8 that i even have to go bc #a) this orthodontist is a POS and treats me (and most ppl) terribly #b) i shouldnt even have to go bc its HIS fault my teeth moved #(took off my permanent retainer when it broke and wouldnt replace it. told me the teeth wouldnt move. they did. when i called to say so #he told me i was imagining it and making things up out of anxiety. told him no but he wouldnt listen. cut to 3 months later #and i have gaps where i shouldnt and my dentist did xrays and was like Damn Dude. they've moved a lot. go back and demand he fix it. #so now i have to do fuckin invisalign to fix the gaps before getring another wire on & its gonna cost a LOT of money that i dont have. cool #and also c) they want me to make a decision Today but i told them i need a quote to then ask insurance / disability. they threw a fit #and r def gonna do so again when i show up #ughhsgshshhs #they're also gonna blame it on my vitamin deficiencies. which ya can contribute but does Not exolain the rapid shifting my guy #that was u screwing up and now u dont wanna own up to it #he legit refused an appt w me so im seeing his colleague. real mature bro. real fuckin mature #but there's no other ortho for me to go to around where i live plus there's the whole legal thing of like. #he screwed it up so i can fight for it to be his responsibility to fix if necessary #anyway #i am anxious rambling bc i DONT WANNA GO DO THIS #i h8 dentist shit enough as it is bc of autism / anxiety / ptsd #and this office is the same one that verbally abused me as a teenager for having anxiety and as an adult for being disabled #fml #wish me fuckin luck im gonna gd need it #into the trenches we go

[imwritesometimes]

well. no word from the heater place for a week now. said the part would be in in 3-4 business days. heater is out again. it's only 8:50pm and it will get cold overnight. I fucking hate being alive rn 😞

#calling them tomorrow but realistically it looks like I might be without heat all weekend so. you know. 👍 #cause I KNOW they'll say they can send a guy out again to get it working BUT I'll have to pay the service call fee #on top of the last service call fee. and on top of the HUNDREDS of dollars it's gonna cost to replace the motor. #so I can't exactly afford ANOTHER service call. I'm just fuckin exhausted man like it NEVER relents. EVER. I can never catch a fckn break. #over $350 to fix the motor alone like....... I cannot afford more service calls........ fml #erin explains it all

[grey342]

Grovel

Phil Wenneck x reader

synopsis - You make Phil grovel after an argument

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, teasing Phil, slightly in public, P in V, no protection and Phil talking you through it (kinda).

authors note - Thank you guys for being so patient it means the world to me! I'm gonna try to post at least once a week but, school may get in the way of that fml. Thank you again for all the support and I hope you like this one. P.S- this was kinda rushed so apologies for that :)

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

If looks could kill, I would've been dead as soon as I walked through the door.

There has been a bit of tension in the Wenneck household this week. Okay a lot of tension. It all started on Monday; Phil had to work late at the school again, which, of course, you had no problems with. However, the thing that bothered you was when he came home and revealed to you he was with that one colleague who has a massive crush on him.

Naturally being a grown adult, you communicated these concerns with Phil but, he claimed you were looking into things too much and he only has eyes for you. How cute.

So, you voiced these concerns to him yet again on Monday night. He claimed that you were being "dramatic" and "childish". Big mistake. You both started to go back and forth at each other until you ended the argument with the classic:

"you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Due to your stubbornness, the pair of you haven't spoken a word to each other since. It's now Friday night, the night you and your friends designated as the weekly get together.

You and Phil both agreed to act civil with each other but you weren't letting him get off that easy. You done your makeup exactly the way he likes, put on his favourite dress and, as the last kick in the teeth, put on his favourite matching set.

You had already everyone that you were going to run a little late due to work, so they all got started without you. You took an Uber to the bar and as soon as you stepped through the doors, you could feel his eyes burning into you.

You walk over to the table greet everyone and sit down next to him. The table began to converse with each other when you felt his breath on your neck.

"You think you're really funny don't ya?" He grunts.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You respond, feining innocence.

"Oh you don't huh?" He retaliates slightly smirking. You shake your head slightly and join in on the conversation. He puts his hand on your thigh and grips it to gain your attention.

"I'm in the middle of a conversation sweetheart, don't be rude." You teased. He straightens himself and moves his hand higher. He slowly moves it higher and higher until he reaches underneath your dress.

You struggle to hide your smirk when you see him realise. He leans in his voice barely a whisper.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You pull his hand out and place it on his lap.

"Control yourself Phillip, we're in public." You warn smirking as you notice the vein on his forehead, popping slightly. You love doing this to him. It's your favourite hobby; getting a rise out of Phil.

The dinner goes on and you've been teasing him non-stop, waiting for him to snap. It's when you hover your hand over his buldge and rub softly against it, he does.

"Okay so sorry to cut it short but we gotta go," he says standing and grabbing your hand, "Doug if you could call me tomorrow and give me our bill that would be great bye guys." They all mutter goodbyes as he drags you by the hand to the car.

He gets in and slams the door.

"What the fuck do you think your playing at? And don't even try to pull that innocent bullshit act. What is going on?" He exclaims.

"You know what's going on." You say avoiding his gaze. He scoffs.

"Are you seriously this pissed over her?"

"Yes, I am! And I know it's stupid but," you sigh, "I trust you with my entire life. But..I don't trust her and I know that's a ridiculous excuse but-" He takes your hand into his.

"Oh sweetheart, you should've told me this. If I knew you were this bothered by her I would've stopped talking to her months ago."

"Really?" You look into his eyes.

"Of course." He reassures.

"Now, don't think you're completely off the hook," you look at him confused, "oh honey, don;t tell me you thought you would get away with that little stunt you pulled at dinner." Your eyes widen in fear and excitement.

"Just wait until we get home."

Throughout the entire car ride, he seems freakishly calm. But as soon as you step foot into your apartment his hands are all over you as his mouth claims yours. You moan out of surprise and your hands immediately began to rake his back.

His hands reach your thighs, he lifts you up, your legs wrap around his waist, and carries you to the bedroom. He places you on the end of the bed and begins to strip down until he's in his underwear. You doing exactly the same. He stops dead in his tracks and his eyes scan you from top to bottom.

"Holy fuck baby." You go to take your bra off when he stops you.

"Leave it on." He demands and pushes you back onto the bed. Your mouths meet again in a wave of passion. His hands rubbing up and down on your thighs until he meets your core.

He begins to slightly rub over your clit through your panties making you moan in his mouth. He slowly picks up the pace but it's not enough to take you over the edge.

"Please.." You beg.

"Please what?" He taunts.

"Please let me cum." You breathe out.

"Oh I don't think you deserve that just yet." He pulls his fingers away and you whine at the loss of them. in the blink of an eye his boxers are off and he began pumping his dick. He pushes your panties over to the side and rubs his tip slowly over your slit. You moan at the sensation.

He pushes the tip in at an agonizing pace and you began to squirm out of impatience.

"What's wrong honey?" He teases.

"Please Phil.."

"Come on, you can do better than that."

"Please, please fuck me Phil."

"Atta girl." He says sliding all the way in. He gives you no mercy as he pounds into you, the headboard beginning to bang against the wall. He places his head in the crook of your neck, his grunts and whimpers vibrating against your neck.

"You think it's funny to tease me hm? Make you feel good?" He asks in between breaths. You whine, shaking your head.

"No, good. From now on 'm gonna prove to you everyday that you are ten times the woman she is." He moans and picks up the pace.

"She doesn't hold a torch to you baby, she never will." You moan loudly, feeling the pressure build in your lower stomach.

"Phil..?" Your breath quickens.

"Yes honey?"

"I'm gonna cum."

"Me too, hold on we'll do it together mkay?"

"Okay.." His hand moves down to rub you clit, you whimper in response.

"Ready," you nod your head rapidly, "cum baby, oh fuck, cum on my dick." The second he says that you let the pleasure consume you. You feel his cum shoot into you as he whimpers in your ear.

You place your hand on his head, slightly pulling on his hair. He looks at you with a playful smirk on his face.

"What?" You return the gesture.

"Round two?"

"Fuck off." You say chuckling. He leans forward claiming your lips. You smile into the kiss.

His head slumps on your chest and the pair of you let sleep take over.

#bradley cooper #bradley cooper x reader #phil wenneck #phil wenneck x reader #the hangover #x reader #smut #groveling

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (60)

*That dreaded PTA meeting* Read [this] & [this] first.

Prof.Sickle: Welcome, welcome, dear parents to our annual PTA meeting-

Nero: *barks*

Prof.Sickle: Ms. Price, please tell your dog-

Persephone: He’s a werewolf.

Prof.Sickle: Right. Please tell your “werewolf” to stop barking when I’m speaking-

Nero: *barks again*

Persephone: Sorry, Professor. My poor daddy’s just nervous.

Nero: *howls*

Persephone: And hungry.

Drunk!Casca: *sees Nero Price howling like a madman* Shoo, you pesky mutt! No rabid dogs allowed in my prestigious school!

Nero: *growls at Casca*

Persephone: Sir, I wouldn’t say that if I were you. You do know that my father bites, right?☺️

Drunk!Casca: Are you threatening the amazing Dean of this school, little girl?!

Persephone: Do you want to be the next ✨Maid Stew✨?☺️

Drunk!Casca: Go away, you canniba-

Coryo: Sir, please calm down-

Drunk!Casca: Crassus, you’re here?!

Coryo: I’m Coriolanus.

Drunk!Casca: My Snow Angel, my love, crazy Nero Price and his evil spawn are bullying me again!😭

Strabo: Lol. This is why my dearest Crassus Snow chose me instead of marrying a loser like you, Cassy~.

Drunk!Casca: Shut up, you boyfriend stealing Plinth!

Strabo: Jealous?😏

Drunk!Casca: F*ck you and your guns! I was my Snow Angel’s favorite lover, you scum!

Strabo: That’s a lie. I was my Snow Bae’s favorite lover~.

Coryo: Here we go again.😞

Hilarius: Cool. I’m recording this.

Drunk!Casca: Go die in a ditch, you stupid rock hugger!

Strabo: Are you gonna cry, Cassy~?

Drunk!Casca: You eat sh*tty rocks for breakfast!

Strabo: Says the one who can’t even hold a drink to save his sh*tty reputation!

Drunk!Casca: You’re the one with the sh*tty reputation!

Strabo: You’re just jealous that my dear Snow Bae said that I was always better in bed than you!

Drunk!Casca: You lie! I’m the better TOP!

Strabo: No, I’m the superior TOP, you fool!

Drunk!Casca: Your blood money can’t even fix your family’s terrible fashion sense!

Strabo: You’re just a bitter old man who can’t tie his own laces!

Drunk!Casca: That doesn’t even make sense! You’re older than me!

Strabo: That’s great! That’s good news! My dear Crassus likes to date older District men like me anyway!

Drunk!Casca: That’s fake news! My Snow Angel only dates successful Capitol men like me!

Strabo: Keep swimming in denial, Cassy~!

Drunk!Casca: You’re just f*ckin’ jealous that my lovely Crassus lost his precious virginity to me!!

Pres.Ravinstill: That’s kinda hot.

Coryo: FML. Now I have to bleach my ears.😔

Strabo: Clearly, that was my darling’s biggest mistake!

Drunk!Casca: That was a blessing in disguise, you fool!

Prof.Sickle: Will the both of you shut the f*ck up already?!

Drunk!Casca: But-

Prof.Sickle: There are children present, Cassy!

Drunk!Casca: What children?

Hilarius: Me! I’m baby.

Apollo: I’m also baby.

Felix: I thought I was baby?

Pres.Ravinstill: That’s incorrect. We all know that I’m baby.

Prof.Sickle: Sir, shouldn’t you be in the Presidential Palace busy ruling and running this love forsaken country?

Pres.Ravinstill: Well, Sickle, shouldn’t you be holding a PTA meeting right now?

Gaius: Sick burn, bro!

Vipsania: Wow. He really just said that.

Coryo: And in front of us.

Androcles: Your crazy granduncle is really brave, Class Pres.

Felix: I just hope he won’t be thrown out the window.😑

Pres.Ravinstill: Hey, Sickle, do you want me to apply cold water to that burn-

Prof.Sickle: Get out.

Pres.Ravinstill: No. I’m staying right here-

Prof.Sickle: I don’t care if you’re the f*ckin’ President! Get the f*ck out, you dinosaur!

Pres.Ravinstill: Not listening~!

Prof.Sickle: I’m calling the Peacekeepers-

Pres.Ravinstill: Is it a sin for a poor old man like me to have a one day off from work?!

Prof.Sickle: Sir-

Pres.Ravinstill: I want a break too, Sickle!😭

Felix: Gran Gran, you’re always on break.

Coryo: So who’s running the country right now, Class Pres?

Felix: I thought you knew, Coryo.

Coryo: Knew what?

Felix: That my crazy granduncle’s 2 dozen Bichon Frisé puppies are the ones ruling our poor nation.

Festus: Well, that explains why our country is going to the dogs-

Coryo: Literal dogs-

Felix: Puppies, Coryo. Puppies are running this country.

Coryo: Well, that checks out.

Festus: At least they’re cute.

Clemensia: Then who’s the Capitol Mayor?

Felix: Boa Bell the Cat.

Clemensia: Our Mayor’s a cat?!

Juno: To be fair, Clemmie, we all voted for Mr. Bell’s cat to win-

Dennis: As a joke, Phipps.

Juno: But here we are, Fling.

Apollo: With no regrets!

Diana: Best Bell Boa Bell~!🥳

Mrs.Anderson: Andie, they do know that my camera crew is live-streaming this meeting, right?

Androcles: Mom, please stop embarrassing me.

Mrs.Anderson: 50 bucks~.😏

Androcles: Not enough~.

Sejanus: Hey, Babe, want some garlic flavored popcorn?

Coryo: Sure, Babe.

Festus: Yo, Sej, pass me a bag too!

Sejanus: Here, catch!

Festus: Thanks, bestie.

Prof.Sickle: Now, where were we?

Clemensia: PTA meeting.

Prof.Sickle: Oh, yeah.😞 So. . .

Mrs.Cardew: Just tell us what we want to hear, Sickle.🙄

Prof.Sickle: Mrs. Card-

Mrs.Cardew: It’s ✨Mama Cardew✨ to you.💅

Prof.Sickle: Ugh. Why did I even take this stupid job?😩

Domitia: Professor?

Prof.Sickle: Yes, Domitia?

Domitia: Can I feed my emotional support cow outside?

Prof.Sickle: Where’s your father?

Domitia: The cow-

Prof.Sickle: Please, Tia, don’t tell me that you forgot to inform your old man again-

Domitia: My dear papa is currently busy swimming with the chickens again, Professor.

Prof.Sickle: *sighs* That fake farmer wannabe accidentally locked himself in the chicken coops again?

Domitia: Yeah.😞

Mr.Heavensbee: *is wearing a stupid disguise* Cool. What happened next?

Prof.Sickle: Who are you?

Mr.Heavensbee: I- I’m Hilari’s favorite uncle.😀

Prof.Sickle: But Hilarius doesn’t have an uncle.

Mr.Heavenbee: I’m twice removed.

Prof.Sickle: Mr. Heavensbee-

Mr.Heavensbee: Who’s Mr. Heavensbee? I’m not Mr. Heavensbee-

Prof.Sickle: *points at the poor bastard* Who the heck invited this skirt stealing creep inside my school?!

Drunk!Casca: This is my school!

Prof.Sickle: Shut up, Cassy!

Mr.Heavensbee: Hilarius-

Hilarius: It wasn’t me!

Mr.Heavensbee: Coryo-

Coryo: Heck, no! Get away from me, you creep!

Mr.Heavensbee: Felix-

Felix: I’m calling the National Security!

Mr.Heavensbee: Clemmie-

Clemensia: Ew! Don’t call me that!

Mr.Heavensbee: I just wanted to take some cute photos!😭

Felix: and flip our f*ckin’ skirts!

Mr.Heavensbee: That’s right!😀

Coryo: Go burn and die, you perv!

Mr.Heavensbee: But I brought candy!

Sejanus: Get away from my Coryo!!

Felix: *is now on the phone* Hello? Is this the National Security?!

Coryo: *takes the phone from Felix* Mr. Heavensbee from the House of The Queen Bee is currently committing a heinous war crime in front of the President’s favorite children!

Mr.Heavensbee: Bringing candy is not a war crime!😭

Hilarius: I’m telling mother!

Mr.Heavensbee: No! Don’t tell that she-beast!

Hilarius: I’m so telling mother right now!

Mrs.Anderson: Yassss~!! Keep fighting, you guys~!

Androcles: Mom!!😫

Mrs.Anderson: Andie, stop acting like a little fool! Your dear mama’s viewership ratings are up in the sky right now!🥳

Prof.Sickle: I’m so gonna quit next year. I’m so gonna quit next year. I’m so gonna quit-

Mrs.Monty: *suddenly walks in* Hi, besties!

Palmyra: Mama?🥹

Mrs.Monty: I brought pies-

Florus: Nope. Not today, you witch! *jumps out the window*

Prof.Sickle: Mr. Friend!!

Florus: *broke a leg but is still alive* Those evil pies can’t catch me now!

Clemensia: I’ll call the medics.😔

Tigris: So. . . How’s life?

Prof.Sickle: This meeting is over.

#tbosas #crack post #crackship #snowjanus #snowplinth #coriolanus x sejanus #coriolanus snow #president snow #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #casca highbottom #festus creed #clemensia dovecote #livia cardew #felix ravinstill #hilarius heavensbee #tigris snow #crassus snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #the hunger games #thg #suzanne collins #thg fic #thg incorrect quotes #tbosas fic #tbosas incorrect quotes #crack fic #alternative universe

[veeveex3]

Hi! I'm not sure if you take requests or not, but if it's ok, I'd like to request a Vice dorm leader version of the kiss during spin the bottle headcannons (with or without a platonic Ortho is fine) Thank you!

yes, i do take requests! i'll make a post of what i'm ok with and what i'm not ok with, but i'm definitely ok with this request! i am also gonna add platonic!Lilia because,again, I just don't feel comfortable writing anything romantic and / or suggestive about him. i hope that's ok! anyways, here is:

Kissing the Vice Housewardens (+ Ruggie and platonic!Ortho) in Spin the Bottle Headcannons

also, I had to do this a second time since for some reason the first draft didn't save fml

Trey Clover:

Would go of his own free will but is more likely to play if he was invited by Cater

Tries to hype up his friends too, even if it embarrasses them a little (probably cuz it embarrasses them too lol)

Doesn't really expect for the bottle to land on him though

Not cuz it's a bad things, it's actually good that he has an excuse to kiss you

Probably has had his first kiss but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't, y'know?

Just seems too busy to kiss lol

Would jokingly ask if you can sit on his lap to kiss him

If you say no and would rather kiss his cheek, he'd be fine with it an apologize for teasing you

If you're fine with it though, he'd be surprised and kiss you back happily

Would bake you a small cake the next day as an apology for putting you on the spot too

Ruggie Bucchi:

Would be the most relaxed person there

But he'd only really play if someone paid him to twenty dollars is twenty dollars

Whether or not he's kissed before doesn't really change the fact that he just, doesn't care lol

But he's still pretty happy that he gets to kiss you though

If you kiss him on the cheek, he wouldn't really respond, might give a little giggle or something

If you kiss him on the lips, he tries his best to make it a good kiss

Not only cuz he wants to kiss you, but also to distract you as he searches for loose change in your back pocket

Someone calls him out because they thought he was trying to cop a feel

Gets embarrassed by that

Jade Leech:

He doesn't really have an interest in actually kissing someone

He just thought it would be funny to watch people get nervous, uncomfortable, or flustered (or all three)

He doesn't mind though when the bottle lands on him

Would be a little awkward since he hasn't kissed anyone, let alone as a human

If you kiss him on the cheek, he'd be flustered but he'd laugh it off pretty quickly

If you kiss him on the lips, he'd kiss you back surprisingly softly

Would start breathing a little heavy but, again, that's mainly cuz he's not fully used to his human body yet

He's a pretty polite kisser if it weren't for the fact that he might nibble you a little afterwards

Jamil Viper:

Is forced to play this against his own will

If Kalim is the one to start the game, of course he's gonna make invite his best buddy Jamil to play!

He curls himself up in hopes that he doesn't get picked

However, that obviously doesn't work

Not only is he nervous since it's his first kiss, but also because he's embarrassed to kiss you, especially with other people watching

If you kiss him on the cheek, he'd be able to compose himself just fine

If you kiss him on the lips, he'd get really flustered and wouldn't know what to do with himself

Idc if it's ooc, I think it's cute!

He can't hurt Kalim so he starts shaking him in rage

Rook Hunt:

If Kalim wasn't the one to start the game, Rook definitely would

Mainly does it as a way to kiss either you or Vil

So when the bottle you spun lands on him, he gets really excited

Probably his first kiss because no one who's kissed before would be as excited as he is

What no kisses does to a mf /hj

Would come over to you and ask if he can kiss you

If you just want a kiss on the cheek, he'd be disappointed but still would kiss you

If you let him kiss you on the lips, he'd do more than Malleus would

Is not afraid to French kiss you (pun intended) in front of everyone

Someone would have to pull him off of you and even then he'd just lead you off into a bathroom to keep going

Ortho Shroud:

I deadass don't know who let him play ngl-

He's probably there to lessen the odds of having to kiss an actual person

He still thinks the game is fun though

Gets really happy when the bottle lands on him

Once you're done giving him a little kiss on his forehead, he gives you a hug afterwards

Some of the people in the circle would be jealous but it's hard since Ortho's so adorable

he babey your honor!

Lilia Vanrouge:

He also joined to see other people play rather than because he wanted to play himself

It's like a live novella for him!

While he didn't expect for the bottle to land on him, he uses this as an opportunity to be annoying

He floats over to you and gives you a big wet kiss on the forehead

Gross kissy sounds and all

Floats back down as if nothing's even happened

A weird experience, but still funny nonetheless

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcannons #twisted wonderland x reader #trey clover #ruggie bucchi #jade leech #jamil viper #rook hunt #ortho shroud #lilia vanrouge

[yakumtsaki]

We begin this update with a sign of things to come, aka the appearance of this creepy orb with zzzz’s in the corner of our lot. I was freaking out about it thinking the lot is fucked, but it turned out to be..

..iVAN’S MIDSECTION. WTF

-𝙷𝙰𝙷𝙰.𝙴𝚇𝙴! 𝙶𝙾𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄; 𝙸'𝙼 𝙶𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙰 𝙿𝚄𝚃 𝙺𝙸𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙾𝚁𝙱 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚂𝙾 𝙸'𝙻𝙻 𝙰𝙻𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙰 𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳; -Well that’s my cue to fuck off-

-It’s been shit knowing you, flops! -GOODBYE KITANA, WOOOOOOOF💔 -Shut up, Veronica, you pencil-necked freak. Alright beam me up, bony bozo. -UH, YOU KNOW, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANNA LIVE A LITTLE LONGER, WE COULD WORK SOMETHING OUT💀 -Ohoho nice try, pussyboi, now take me with you before you catch these claws. -GOOD LORD💀

Ya Grim I know, our Kitana sure was special❤️ RIB, baby (Rest In Blood).

In the meantime, my attempts to make Felina and Bartholomew unhate each other continue..

..and are clearly DOOMED. Bro why. WHY DO YOU TWO EVEN HATE EACH OTHER, I DON’T GET IT. You have the only pair of good parents we’ve ever produced, wtf is your problem.

-It’s biological!!!

What??

-Failina is right for once, the return of the recessive ginger genes brought the Union spirit back with it!

Oh wow that’s just great, we better save some of this Union spirit in the pantry in case recession hits. Fml. I DID manage to make them un-enemies, they just regularly hate each other now, so yay me :(

After Don’s death so close to Jojo’s bummed me the fuck out I gave the rest of the elders elixir and I don’t care! I can’t have major deaths each update, I’m not strong enough.

-Well don’t worry, I’m gonna do the hard work for you and kill Sophie right now!

Glitched Butler #8 istg. I can’t believe I had to go back to hiring these losers because of how useless iVan is.

Case in point, Bartholomew misses the bus because he wants to watch the iVan-Sandy Deathmatch of the Undead.

-Geez, it’s so violent!

THAT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH FELINA ALL DAY

-I know, let me write down some tips!

Cyn is in deep mourning, she’s been rolling 0 romantic wants (!!!) all she wants to do is chill and play with the pets💔

-No, Jack Do, I don’t want to elope with you and ‘live in Al Simhara as Indiana Jones impersonators’, stop calling here before I sic my killbot on you🌸

Omg Cyn I know what would make you feel better, how about planning Felina’s birthday party?? (*ominous music*)

-Omg I would love that!💗

Omg yay!💗

-𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝙸 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝚈 𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽𝙰𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴 𝙼𝙾𝚅𝙴, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙱𝙻𝙾𝚆𝙴𝚁; -What is that? -𝙸𝚃'𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙸 𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙾 𝙰 𝚂𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙱𝙻𝙾𝚆𝙴𝚁;

Bartholomeow please.

-Fine, I’ll do something useful!

How about that pile of homework, Mr C+?

-How about iVan’s job! Man I wish I was a robot butler, then I’d never lose a fight to Failina again! I won’t step foot in school until I’m the ultimate fighting machine! 

Sophie can you talk to this brat, please?

-In a minute, finally a kid around here with the sports OTH! You won’t believe what a nerd your dad was when he was your age, Barth. -Oh he still is, I broke his jaw the other day playing catch. -That’s my boy!

-I’m back from school and I got another A+ and it’s my birthday!!! My life could literally not be better!!!! (*ominous music*)

-Dad, dad, I got another A+!!! So much better than Barfolomew, right?? Right??? You know he skipped school today!!!! -Oh that’s amazing, sweetie, as is Sandy all of a sudden!

Of course. OF COURSE YOU’RE INTO SANDY NOW THAT SHE’S BANGING A RELATIVE OF YOURS. I hate these Gunther genes so fucking much. Whatever, time for Felina’s party! (*ominous music intensifies*)

Good job, Cyn, super cute!

-Yay! Blow out your candles, baby!🌸 -WOOOO GO FELINA -You know what, I’m just gonna stand here. 

Shajar I’m already regretting giving you elixir. Go on Fel!  

-NOT SO FAST

WHAT. BARTHOLOMEOW OH MY GOD

-HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR SIS

D U D E

YA SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT

HE STRAIGHT UP CAME DOWNSTAIRS TO RUIN HER PARTY AND LEFT. UN.REAL

-Ok, let’s all pretend what happened didn’t happen, GO FELINA WOOO💗 -GREAT PARTY BABY, GO ON -Um, am I the only one who saw Bartholomeow beat her up?

NOT NOW SUGAR, CAN IT

YAY, happy birthday, Fel! Man she looks like an exact Sophie/Shajar mix aka exactly like Sophito but with Liz’s nose! Adorb! Now let’s roll for aspiration..

FAMILY?!? LMAO a lil ironic isn’t it?? 

-MY FAMILY WILL CRUSH BARFOLOMEOW’S FAMILY

Well when you put it like that. Love that chemistry panel too, either Felina is ending up with a woman or an eyelinered bejeweled Don type. Let’s pray for the former. 

-I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT THAT LITTLE SHIT DID TO ME. I CALL ON HEAVEN AND EARTH TO WITNESS MY CURSE: A PLAGUE ON BARFOLOMEOW AND ALL HIS DESCENDANTS 

Alright, let’s lighten up, shall we? 

That’s better, Sandy and iVan are here to ruin this party’s score even further! Great job, you two!

Meanwhile Bartholomeow.. is doing THIS. Bro I CAN’T

-I’M SO HAPPY >:D

Barth are you an actual demon? I’m not even kidding. 

I try to cheer up Felina by having her light up these firecrackers or whatever they are, UNAWARE THEY CAN MAKE SIMS CATCH FIRE. I’M SO SORRY

-HAHAHA boy is my granddaughter a loser! 

SHAJAR

-Oh Leo, I think I’m ready for my first post-mourning wooho right here during Felina’s party!💗

FFS

-WHY IS MY FAMILY LIKE THIS

Why did you ROLL family when your family is like this is the better question.

-I’ll light up these fireworks to distract everyone and then I’m getting the fuck outta here!

FELINA NO. DON’T MESS WITH PYROTECNHICS AGAIN

Oh ok it worked!

-WOW SPARKLY -AMAZING -WOOOO SHINNY FIRE -BEST PARTY EVER

What’s killing me is this actually was one of our best parties ever, everyone but Felina had a great time?? OVER

-Oh God, this is still going on?🌸

Ya apparently?! Ugh. 

-It was so hot watching you brawl with iVan during my niece’s party, babe. -Y̷O̴U K̵N̴O̷W I̷'̸M̸ P̵U̷R̷E̴ C̵L̸A̴S̷S🧟‍♀️

Felina’s party appropriately ends with a cowplant-cake-tree-fire. Clarabelle, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful with that goddamn candle?!

-MOOOO >:(

All madeover and ready to go! What are you going for here, a Dark Phoenix vibe?

-That’s exactly it, as this party was my supervillain origin story. 

Ok that’s a little dramatic-

-𝙸𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙸𝚂𝙽'𝚃, 𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴;

YA not helping, iVan.

-𝙸'𝙼 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙼𝙼𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙿;

Trust me, I know!

-ENOUGH. This family’s degeneracy has been allowed to fester for far too long. I will finish what Grandpa Jojo started, by pruning the diseased family tree! All glory to the House of Union! Are you with me, iVan?

-𝙸 𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙱𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙷𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙾𝚆 𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁;

-I’m the only one who knows how to fix you.

-𝙸'𝙼 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚈;

Ok Felina you’re creeping me out, you’re the good one! 7 nice points!

-Nice Felina died in a firecracker accident! But from the ashes, I was reborn.. And from the ashes of this family, a new family will rise..

OMG IT’S OUR FIRST ONE OF @lamare-sims​​ custom LTWS!!!! Wish it was happening under less deranged circumstances but what can you do. 

#long post #gen 4 #ts2

[formulawonu]

seventeen & amusement parks

prompt: how svt would be with you at an amusement park (thanks to this)

a/n: im back…. svt brainrot still alive and kicking. imagine going to an amusement park with seventeen that would be so fun :/ btw i take requests for reactions or small blurbs so hi carats please be my friends!!!!!!

seungcheol: he would act like he isn’t scared at all then start giggling the moment u get in line to ride something 🥱 screams his ass off during the ride itself and says it wasn’t that scary right after fml he’d buy all the ride souvenir pics tho

jeonghan: would get u to ride a rollercoaster even if ur scared asf then when he notices ur freaking out he would start saying stuff like “this is fr just 5-10 mins of ur life it really won’t last forever if u wanna conquer other things u have to conquer this first” just so u could focus on bickering with him instead of being nervous :( then after the ride he’d be all “I TOLD U IT WASNT THAT BAD U WERE WORRYING FOR NOTHING” then gives u a tight hug bec he’s proud of u anyway. man is so confusing but i love him

joshua: byeeeeee he’d get u to ride whatever rides he wants to ride because 1) hes paying 2) he just has the ability to reassure u that ur gonna be fine until ur already strapped in and can’t ask to get off the ride anymore. he'd be the type to check on you in the middle of the ride and ask u if ur ok. its giving spongebob and patricks "are you feeling it now mr krabs." also praises for u for going on scary rides tho. tricky man pt. 2

junhui: he’d be so game to do anything and ride anything!!!! u for sure have two day passes or something bec i feel like junhui would really take his time exploring the whole park and trying out as much things as he can. also bad news for u if u hate haunted houses u are for sure going to one with this guy

hoshi: 100% peer pressures you into riding all the rollercoasters or gets u to sit at the back of any ride. im sorry u signed up for the Real Amusement Park Experience™️ the moment u chose him to go with u. he'd be all "why did we bother going if we dont go all the way!!!!" and yes u do have matching headbands or hoodies. let him live his life <//3

wonwoo: he’d honestly say yes to most rides for the ~experience~ and will just love watching u freak out or scream. imagine him sitting beside u then smiling/laughing at how nervous u look. him telling u ur gonna be fine,…. imagine him throwing his hands up during a ride and having fun. i think im going to cry pls id so want to be beside him on any ride JUST ONCE

woozi: plz respect his time ,,, pick max two rides THEN GO HOME! u know what maybe two is pushing it pick one and be grateful he even came 😪

minghao: PLS HE’D BE SO FUN AT AMUSEMENT PARKS HE’LL RIDE ANYTHING WITH U!!!!????? he’s also just laughing the entire time and not complaining abt the heat or the lines. if he finds a ride he rly rly rly likes he’d ask u to line up w him again just so he could experience the feeling once more. also ur staying for the fireworks no questions asked

mingyu: im sorry but ur gonna have to force him to get on any ride that doesnt stay on the ground. the mans height has unfortunately made him afraid of anything taller than him. u guys would have cute ass pics though <//3 he'd also go food tripping with you and carry u on his shoulders if the situation ever had to call for it like watching the parade or smth??? idk why but he would do it anw just needed to put it out there

seokmin: ANOTHER SCARED ONE. however hes waaaaay easier to talk into riding rides with u as long as u can reassure him every five minutes that he’ll be fine and deal with his nervous jitters as the line gets shorter and shorter. he wont shut up lmfao so if ur also scared its just both of u scaring each other until u get on the ride. would be funny when u look back on the experience tho jsdkfhsdf u also have matching headwear w him and he's singing to the songs playing all the time

seungkwan: omfg he would be so nervous lining up for any ride. “That thing just creaked i swear” “what are the chances of this ride stopping in mid-air?” But would love love love the adrenaline that comes with rides. I honestly think he would love the teacup ride in disneyland dont even ask me why. would also befriend kids on the rides/lines with u

vernon: he is really there for The Vibes™️ but dont get him wrong he would be screaming his ass off on diff rides i can already imagine his face xjenfjtngk he’s trying to find where the camera is on each ride so he knows when to pose lmao

dino: im crying why is he that friend u have that is so excited to ride all the rides then pukes after the first one and has to sit down and drink water to recuperate after hxjsnejdnc but he'd be so fun to be with and he'd make u laugh all the time. would take pics with all the characters roaming the park

#svt #seventeen #kpop #svt reaction #svt reactions #svt imagine #svt imagines #scoups #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #hoshi #junhui #jun #wonwoo #woozi #jihoon #mingyu #minghao #the8 #dk #seokmin #seungkwan #vernon #chan #dino #imagine #fic #svt fanfic #request

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Okay, Mary, hear me out. Something semi hot with Riven x reader [girlfriend/fiancée/wife] where the others tease them or are annoyed with them and they bicker.

obviously yes. semi hot is basically the only thing I can write. even all my fluff ends up like that. but like now that I officially have permission :))))) im gonna have so so much fun with this holy

also um, triggerwarning ig??? like somewhat spicy ig

(good lord this gif is doing things to me)

fml I'm so single

"Riv", you breathed, tightening your grip on his hair. You'd been dragging your fingers through it, grabbing fistfuls, and it looked worse than a bedhead. Worse in a 'hair sticking up in all directions' way, not worse in a 'less attractive' way.

"Riv", you repeated. He groaned at you, his breath meeting the already sensitive skin of your throat. Yours hitched, if only for a second. "Riv, my phone's ringing."

It actually was - it had been for a minute now, then stopped, then started again. Someone was clearly desperate to reach you.

"Why did you not put it on mute?", he asked, muttering, pressing another kiss to your neck before raising his head and grabbing your phone from the bedside table.

"I forgot", you grumbled, still a bit breathless. Well, this was a mood killer. Riven raised his eyebrows as the display lit up.

"What the fuck could be important enough for Bloom to call this relentlessly?"

Your eyes widened.

"Shit!", you cursed, grabbing your phone from him in a hurry. "We wanted to meet up with everyone!" You scrambled to pick up.

"Hey Bloom!" You faked a smile, even if she couldn't see, pinching the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes. Riven was chuckling in the background, already back in his familiar position on top of you.

"Where are you?", she thundered into your ear. "You were supposed to be out here half an hour ago!"

"I know, I'm so sorry", you lied (you could barely feel very sorry at all when Riven was focusing on your neck again). "Riv and I got caught up in... work up here, we completely forgot."

You tilted your head just a little to the side so that he could reach a bit more of your skin. He laughed softly.

"Work", Bloom snorted at the other end of the phone. "Sure."

Riven bit down gently. Not having expected it, you sucked in a breath.

"Yeah", you stuttered, barely able to keep your voice steady. "Anyway, we, uh, we can't- we can't make it anymore, you guys have fun though!"

Your eyes almost flew shut by themselves as Riven concentrated on another sweet spot, raising his hand to brush his fingertips over the hickeys that were turning purple already.

"Ew", Bloom let out. "I don't want to be part of some weird phone sex thing. See you later."

She'd hung up before you could even react, and you just took your phone from your ear and held it in front of your face for a second, disbelieving that she'd actually just said that.

"Did I sound like I was fucking moaning or what?", you asked, dragging your free hand through Riven's hair and somewhat forcefully pulling his head up so you could look at him. He raised his eyebrows - whether at your question or not, you weren't quite sure.

"A bit", he chuckled, making use of his new position and kissing your lips now. Apparently he'd mutilated your neck enough.

"A bit?", you huffed, raking your nails along the back of his head. "Fuck you."

If possible, he raised his eyebrows even higher.

"Don't", you warned. "I know what you're about to say, so don't. Just kiss me again instead."

For once in his life, he actually did not say it. For once, he actually did as you asked. And just kissed you. Again and again and again after that, until you were breathless, and his name fell like a prayer from your lips whenever he gave you the freedom to gasp for air.

#winx riven x reader #riven x reader #winx riven #riven winx #fate riven #ftws #fate winx saga #fate series #winx #x reader

[konnorhasapen]

NO OMG I REALLY TAGGED THE WRONG PERSON YESTERDAY SAYING I WAS GONNA POST THE WIP FOR THAT VAMPIRE BIGFOOT THING TODAY FML-

@romeo-the-homeo IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOU SHAJFBJBF AND SINCE YOU SEEMED INTERESTED @friendlyfaded YEAH SURE ANYWAY HERE IT IS I GUESS💀

   "As happy I am that you're makin' friends, I have a couple questions." Alphonse began, sparing only a glance to his passenger as he spoke. "First of all, why did they have to be all the way in California? Second, why did you pack so much shit? I mean, seriously, your crap's taken up the entire backseat and thrown up into the trunk! What do you need all of that for? And third—" He griped with a lighthearted chuckle, being cut off by his partner.

   "I told you it's for our hunt!" Seth exclaimed, fiddling and futzing with the camera settings while it was already recording. "We need all the gear we can get our hands on to nab this thing! Or at least get decent, actual footage." He added smartly. Seth smiled when he finally got the perfect look he was going for he set it on his thigh while he twisted to grab the tripod he packed, the camera lens facing toward him.

   "Nice crotch-shot." Alphonse snorted, receiving a playful "shut up, Al" and a smack in the arm as the brunette twisted back into his seat, tripod in hand.  "Aye, don't hit the driver! That's so unsafe!" He laughed, the sound infectious.

   "Didn't you have another question?" Seth asked as he attached the camera and began positioning in front between them as to get both himself and Al in the frame.

   "Yeah, I did. Two of 'em! Before you so rudely interrupted me." Seth rolled his eyes at the others' snarky response and replied:

   "Why don't you ask it then?"

   "Fine, fine!" He laughed again and cleared his throat. "Third, who even are these people? And last, but most definitely not least, why in the hell am I bein' dragged along with you?" Alphonse asked, earning a chuckle in return.

   "These people are friends I met online!" Seth paused for a minute, thinking. "Well.., one of them is. They said they have a friend whose also a huge cryptid fanatic and that they'll tag along with us."

   "You only know one of them?"

   "Yep."

   "And they invited you to this Dahlia place."

   "Mhm." Alphonse blinked at Seth's answers, taking a few moment of silence before inhaling deep.

   "Am I the only one here who thinks there's a ninety-seven percent chance this person is most definitely a psycho killer? I'm driving you to your murder crime scene. That is what I'm doing right now." Al rambled, making emphasizing gestures with his hands as best he could with his palms still on the wheel while he drove.

   "C'mon, I've looked up pictures of Dahlia. I doubt there's a psycho killer anywhere near that place." Seth rolled his eyes again before the camera was finally in position, smiling to himself as he flipped the monitor around to see Alphonse and himself both in the shot. "There we go." He declared.   "And I dragged you with me because none of this would've fit on my bike." Before the pastel punk could answer, Seth cleared his throat and drew in a steadying breath.

   "What—are you preparin' to give a speech to the president?" Al teased him again, interrupting him anyways.

   "Oh my g— Alphonse shut the hell up and let me do this!" The two laughed together for a minute, then once it died down the self-proclaimed cryptid hunter repeated his preparation to officially start this video.

   "This weekend on another episode of Hunting Ghosts and Other Assorted Paranormal Entities, Alphonse and I are taking a huntin' trip. We've done some digging and came across the general area where the most sightings have been reported and narrowed it down to a single city in California called 'Dahlia'. So that's where Al and I, are headed to next." He closed it off dramatically, leaving a few seconds of quiet before letting it drop.

   "You're still goin' with that name? Seriously?" Asked Alphonse as he made a futile attempt to hold back his snickering.

   "What is your problem with the name? I think it's great." Seth rebutted.

   "That's way too much of a mouthful, man!"

   "Oh yeah? Then come up with a better one, right now." Minutes of utter silence passed by as Seth burned holes into the side of Al's head with his chocolate brown eyes open wide in a stare.

   "...I can't—"

   "Exactly."

There you go, that's all I have at the moment lmao

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #yuurivoice #wip wednesday #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice alphonse #the cursed cryptid hunt crossover

[holywizardheart]

ohmygod hello idk if u will reply to my requests but the one i sent b4 this- dumb me was excited and 4got 2 hide the personal infos. and i dont think we can unsend the "ask me'" sent out, sorry im new 2 tumblr so still in my learning phase 😭 ffs fml. pls dont reply w that post 🥲 if u do choose mine 2 answer, heres new charts !

Hellooo my friend :) I'm glad that you asked something concerning synastry. So before the start I'll say that I'm not a professional astrologer I'm just a learner. Okay? Let's go.

And also I only work with tropical astrology ;)

The first thing that I suddenly noticed is the Ascendant in the 4th house. As a learner, I like this thing. I have this synastry with my close friend. What I know about this is house person will feel comfortable with the ascendant person. The house person may open up their deep insecurities and vulnerable side. In my opinion, it's such a good synastry to have with your partner.

The next thing that caught my eye is the north node conjunct Saturn. You know that people's personal planets touching your north node can represent a "karmic" relationship. The planet person came to your life to teach you something meaningful to you. Again Saturn is a malefic planet in general and it can be really hard to deal with. I guess that Saturn might clamp down and restrict those energies out of fear, OR provide discipline and learn to work with the energies. Also, this aspect can mean that it's going to be difficult to separate from each other. Stuck with each other like glue.

Venus conjunct Lilith another interesting aspect. In this synastry, Lilith is gonna be kinda obsessed with Venus. The attraction is definitely present in this connection and I think it's gonna be more sexual than romantic. The beauty that Venus possesses is extremely seductive and desirable for Lilith person.

You also have Moon conjunct Venus with Pluto. We know that the Moon conjuncts Venus is a comfortable and sweet type of aspect. But Pluto in this makes it more intense. I'm also sensing this obsessive and jealous energy from Wattpad stories. You know Pluto radiates this type of vibe if you know the basics of astrology. So I can call it a warning for you. Because if you get into this relationship after it can be difficult to get out.

And my favourite one it's a Moon conjunct mercury. I just love this aspect with my whole heart. It's an indicator of the best friendship and a big bonus for a relationship. There is a deep understanding between individuals. You get along well with each other and it's an effortless kind of communication.

Mars, South node, Venus falling in 7th house is an indicator of relationship. Mars gives attraction but in sexual way and Venus is also attraction but with beauty. It's like "wow he's literally my ideal type". With south node it feels like a past relationship connection.

So that's all for you. I hope it'll help you in the future :3 Wish you a good luck with your crush my sweetheart❤️

#astro community #astrology #astro observations #astro notes #synastry #compatibility #natal chart #reading #tropical astrology #astro content #synastry observations

[x-authorship-x]

Im always so surprised by how quickly you shoot out these ask aus?? how long do you take to answer because when the anon get going youre just as fast?

This in mind... if you wrote a fic right now what would it be?👀

Ironically I sat on this one Anon lmao

If I'm really in the mood, like when the Shisui anons are in a "feeding frenzy" (😂), then it's as fast as I can type haha but generally these days I sit at least 24hrs on an ask because of timezones, my IRL, and I also like to brood on an idea especially if it's a question I haven't considered before!

Right this moment? Well, it's my current brainrot idea tbh I'm planning on making an actual fic out of it but my hand is stayed by the fact I'm feeling a little... Shisui-predictable again 😅

It's a Shisui crossover, fml

So I've read some genuinely incredible Star Wars fics recently (I will rec some if people ask) and those are some definite inspirations.

(This is the brainchild born from reading Blackkat's fic:

And smilebackwards' series:

-which are beautiful works!)

So.... If Shisui was a Jedi (Master, probably, maybe newly advanced) then he'd 1000% be a Seeker, locating and saving Force-sensitive kids and bringing them back to the Temple. He's either woken up after dying in Narutoverse or he's been reborn, haven't decided yet, but he's got all that military prowess shoved in the back of his head and he's very happily clutching to the Light and the Jedi's teachings on peacefulness, mindfulness, and negotiation. He absolutely knows how to use the Force to Shunshin and stimulate a Genjutsu effect. He also has absolutely created his own Lightsaber Form based on his past life and that's how he became Master.

Then the war starts up.

The Grand Army of the Republic, GAR, is filled with Clone 'meat droid' soldiers who need Jedi to lead them... Shisui is not buying it, he's gonna flip his tits and save these guys. The Jedi council decide that, as they're not the experts here in warfare and it's a kindness of what choices the clones can have, the CC Commanders can pick their own Jedi Generals. The Jedi are called back to the Temple, Shisui rocks up almost late with like five war-torn orphans in his arms, and proceeds (alongside Mace, Obi-wan, Anakin) to be a total fucking BAMF lmao.

(Anakin is on probation after he almost massacred a clan of Sandpeople btw. Master Sharad Hett was in the area and felt the rising Darkness and intervened just in time. Anakin is seriously on thin ice for almost Falling so he's stuck under Obi-wan's direct leadership for the war)

Basically Shisui is picked by Rex (Cody immediately calls dibs on Obi-wan (who speaks Mando'a and has all that diplomacy under his belt) for High General and then the meeting completely goes off the rails as everyone (except Bly lmao) goes ballistic becausethere is a LOT of competition for who gets General Uchiha, holy shit that guy is a fighter) and heads the 501st Battalion! Bonus points if Shisui was the second-to-last Padawan of Dooku so Obi-wan is, like, his lineage-nephew despite being older lmao

(oh maybe shisui is presumed dead, a la Jon Antilles, after a Searcher mission goes tits up so Dooku thinks hes literally lost everyone... And Shisui comes back to find his master has fucked off 🙃)

Now I'm like what colour should his saber be... Like red would be the choice but that's a bleeding Kyber, it can't even be a one off difference like Mace's purple... Maybe gold, I always imagine Shunshin as yellow... Maybe white? Hm... oh it could be just off red, like flame orange, so it scares the shit out of everyone lmao....

Basically I'm shoving Shisui into this situation so that he can 1) be a total fucking BADASS 2) be the designated crush of 90% of the GAR and 3) fix canon without realising it 🤌✨

So, really, just the usual then 😂

Edit: in light of your first question, this answer took me 20 mins lol

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #shisui #star wars #star wars au #jedi shisui #jedi general shisui #captain rex #shisui x rex #obi wan #cody #501st #212th attack battalion #codywan #ShiRex

[by-glass-and-waves]

I like the idea of each of my three AU/fanfic ideas having a slightly different Narinder, slightly different Lamb(?)

or at least I hope they're distinct enough, Depression Quest and Courtship Lamb may be similar, but it doesn't make sense for moody trainwreck Courtship!Narinder to swap with dumbass trainwreck Restart!Narinder. Maybe he could switch with Restart!TOWW lmao

I'm gonna write some notes - which might change - on the pair/story for each AU because god knows if/when I'll actually write Depression Quest or Restart, at least we have some shitty doodles right

i promise i am working on Courtship i have done the Spongebob

THE

so far

... actually I'm nervous posting this fml sorry guys who are looking for delicious Courtship/Restart goodies

spoilers ahead for my Depression Quest AU/fic/whatever it is if spoilers for a nonexistent work matter to youwu. I'll blob a hopefully readable version of what story beats I had and link the two posts whenever it happens

ALSO CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING SI/HI/THOUGHTS+ACTIONS OF HARMING SELF AND OTHERS/DEPRESSION

Depression Quest:

Lamb (she/they, mostly they)

poor babby beat down by the world and killed by the Bishops

gets the Red Crown and starts mowing them down with glee

they're a good leader, they're saving the Lands of the Old Faith from the Bishops, the Cult loves them

and it looks like The One Who Waits is as just as shitty as the others, can't have that, they are way better than he could ever be

so maybe they get a little too power happy and go a little too hard on the whole heroic leader thing

when he is conquered, TOWW is seen as nothing more than a trophy, a piece of property just like the Crowns surrounding his house

they act merciful, but Narinder knows it's just to make him submit, knows that they're just as power-hungry as he was

they let him run away because they'll always know where he is, and they want to see what happens/how long it takes before he crawls back to them

Narinder

finally gets revengeance on his family who threw him in jail, gets released from his prison just to get beat up and thrown into a gilded cage

he is depressed. he is angry. he has nothing left

I'm talking SI/HI, self-harm, screaming and breaking things, pushing Baal and Aym away, and crying on the floor breakdown shit

resists for a long time but eventually starts integrating into the Cult, only to get betrayed by a jealous follower

Narinder has a breakdown because he was stupid enough to think things would be better, so he runs away from the Cult

he encounters Ratoo and they bond over loss :'( but just like Ratoo, he never quite gets over things :(((((((

Ratoo might be the only person he'd call a friend/someone he trusts

addendum: narinder's third eye: he keeps it closed like in canon but technically he can open it, just really difficult and it fucking hurts to do it anyway

over time he gets a little strength to open it for short amounts of time but it still hurt

there's a few times when he gets angried or whatever when he accidentally attempts to open it and he goes OH FUCK OW and maybe it'll set his head straight

Depression Quest may have a bittersweet ending in which the Bishops return and were able to Get Over It™ in the Afterlife due to their actual support network, but I don't know tbh

I do know if they did return/if Narinder meets them again somehow, it'd just be like, sad, guarded, they'll reconcile but it's not the same kind of relationship deal

When I first came up with Depression Quest in September I was like, maybe Lamb is just protecting the baby and won't push him or anything because they love him and stuff

then as time passed I was like okay that's complete and utter bullshit and besides, Narinder is so consumed with his losses there is no way he could into a relationship in the near future. Sometimes people just can't move on :(

I also don't know how the Narinder/Ratoo friendshit even happened guys, it was just the idea of Narinder walking into Ratoo's heart pond and going "what the fuck are you doing" and things went from there

#cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #fanfic notes #cotl the one who waits #cotl depression quest #tw sui ideation #tw homicidal ideation #tw self destructive behavior #cw sui ideation #cw self destruction #tw depression #cw depression #cotl ratoo #the ratoo/narinder friendship is the most important thing to come out of depression quest #fucking fight me #AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE MY SKETCHBOOK WITH THEIR INTERACTIONS IS #FUCK MY LIFE #i think it took half an hour before i clicked the “add to queue” button

[multifanderwrites]

| Previous Scene- Off To Mustafar |

TW: Darth Vader (yes, that’s its own trigger warning. Y’all know what happens in that scene), mentions of the sequel trilogy (yes, that’s a trigger! I was very angry at the time of writing this!), the usual unreliable narrator shit but it’s Anakin and Katniss this time… bc Matthew Stover]

{Mustafar, Separatist Base}

(Darth Vader stands before a hologram projector, switching it on. He contacts his master, who appears in the hologram. The young man speaks) “The Separatists have been taken care of, my master.”

[

it’s literally never finished with you, dude. YOU SOMEHOW CAME BACK!!! FML!!] *Darth Sidious, in hologram* “It is finished then. You have restored peace and justice to the galaxy.” [bitch, where?] “Send a message to the ships of the Trade Federation. All droid units must shut down immediately.”

(Vader nods) “Very good, my lord.” (The call ends. Vader is alerted to the sound of beeping. He looks at the screen to his left, sees the Naboo skiff coming. This is immediately concerning to him. Anakin explicitly stated that Padmè was supposed to wait for him to return! But oh well. Maybe he missed the birth of his children?: oh no. I’m too late)

{Naboo Skiff, Cockpit}

(Padmè is anxious, but for the sake of her backer and her sister in law… she hides the fear. C-3P0 safely lands the skiff onto the landing pad. Padmè takes a moment, then catches sight of her husband through the window of the ship. At that moment, Anakin takes off his hood and bolts to the landing pad. Padmè opens the hatch of the ship. But before she leaves, she turns to the other two women onboard) “Unless something happens… I need you both to stay in here.”

(Lucy nods) “Padmè.” (A beat. Then, Lucy hugs her friend tightly) “Good luck.” [😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭]

“Thank you, Lucy.” (In a sudden twist… Padmè’s eyes widen. She whispers in Lucy’s ear…) *ily, I’m gonna die* “I remember this.” (Before Lucy can say anything, Padmè hugs Katniss tightly, then says…) “Watch after 3P0.”

(Katniss and Lucy watch as Padmè runs out of the skiff. Katniss senses that presence again, and this time… she’s certain. Because she’d know that strong sense of morality anywhere… but she’s determined to protect her brother, and she’s willing to do that by any means necessary. She just hopes she doesn’t have to do any harm)

{Landing Pad}

(As Anakin reaches the skiff, Padmè runs out. Upon impact, Anakin encircles his arms around his wife. He can feel the way she’s trembling as she hugs him back) “I saw your ship.” (He pulls back, but he keeps his hands on her waist to keep her close) *giving me itty bitty butterflies in my tummy and sunshine in my heart… again… hopefully for the last time* “What are you doing out here?”

“I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.”

(This causes Anakin to become deeply suspicious) “What things?”

“He said… you’ve turned to the Dark Side. That you… killed younglings.” [honey… you remember the sand people. Which he regretted immediately]

(Anakin sighs) “Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.”

(Padmè shakes her head) “No. He cares about us.”

*im sorry?!!!!!!!* “Us?”

“He knows. He wants to help you.” (Relieved, Anakin smiles at his wife)

[🥺🥺🥺🥺 why u smiling like that? My heart can’t take it. None of us can take it. You murdered people. Why? What is this fuckery? WHAT WAS THE REASON, HAYDEN?!] (Padmè is starting to remember, little by little, what happened in the original timeline. And while she’s not looking forward to the pain, she knows that she’s going to be proven right again… thanks to the babies who are inside her) “Anakin… all I want is your love.”

*they say I did something bad* “Love won’t save you, Padmè.” [😞😞😞😞😞😞] *then why’s it feel so good* “Only my new powers can do that.”

*hey… we win* “At what cost? You’re a good person. Don’t do this.”

*most fun I’ve ever had* “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother.” (There’s a dangerous look in Anakin’s eyes now) *and I’d do it over and over and over again if I could* “I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of.” [oh. This is a meme too, believe it or not. Reddit, you need to calm down. You need to just stop. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh! Okay. Back your regularly scheduled programming… which isn’t technically programming] *it just felt so good* “And I’m doing it for you. To protect you.” (He feels another presence… one that makes him feel calm, safe… but also more concerned) “You brought Katniss here?”

“Anakin, she wanted to come.” (Padmè runs her hands over his hair) “She wants to help you too.”

(He nods) “I need to help her. Remember? Now I can. I’m just powerful enough to bring our worlds together. District Thirteen could be walking distance now.” [ah, yes. Arrogance. We love to see it]

“Ani… come away with me. Help me raise our children. Leave everything else behind while we still can.”

“Don’t you see? We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic.” [dude. The Republic doesn’t exist anymore] “I am more powerful than the chancellor.” [yes. However, I have to point out: he’s the emperor now] “I can overthrow him.” [yes! But not for like twenty four years. 🤫 Also, I have a rematch planned. That’s why it’s called Rise of Skywalker. Because you rise from the dead! But not like a zombie, ya know? More on that later] (Anakin doesn’t have a plan yet, but he knows he’s going to do everything in his power to manifest the things he’s saying. Regardless of how Padmè is reacting) “And together, you and I can rule the galaxy, make things the way we want them to be!” [added because are you kidding me? I want someone to write the AU because I can’t! I only like writing the canon!] “And when that’s done…” (The look on Anakin’s face is pure madness)

”… we‘ll help Katniss kill Snow.” [boy, do I have news for you! Ha!]

(Padmè backs away, this time with much more certainty than the first time. Yes, she remembers what came after this point- she watched from the afterlife- but even so… she completely forgot how far gone her husband was at this point) *I know you’ll save our son* “I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You’ve changed.”

[oh yeah. This is also somehow a meme. Speaking of “somehow”! he’s not the only one who’s gonna somehow return! 🤫🤭. I just wanted to remind you guys that this shit is canon according to Disney. You privileged fucks. Did you understand that reference?] “I don’t want to hear any more about Obi-Wan.” (Padmè backs away even further as Anakin snarls…) “The Jedi turned against me. Don’t you turn against me!”

*I may have sort of, kind of went behind your back and started a rebellion* “I don’t know you anymore. Anakin… you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow.” [MOTHERFUCKER!!! DO YALL NEVER STOP WITH THESE MEMES?!!!! JEE-MUH-NATTIE!]

“Because of Obi-Wan?” [ARE YOU SERIOUS, YOU GUYS?!!!! THIS LINE TOO?!! COME ON! THERE ARE OTHER LINES TO MAKE INTO MEMES! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS! THIS INTERRUPTS THE FLOW SO MUCH!]

“Because of what you’ve done. What you plan to do.” (On Anakin, growling as he sees Obi-Wan standing at the top of the ramp in the skiff) *Padmè OC* “Stop! Stop now. Come back.” (Lucy watches from the cockpit) [im so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry] “I love you.”

(At this moment, Anakin feels hurt. Maybe the chancellor was right about Padmè hiding something. After all… he could see it in her eyes, no mistake about that)

[guys. Calm down with the memes. Jesus Christ] *go to hell Nancy* [fuck! Yes, I decided to foreshadow Steve Harrington here! Leave me alone! For some reason, Steve and Anakin have similar vibes!] “Liar!”

(Padmè turns, sees Obi-Wan coming down the ramp) “No!”

“You’re with him!” (Anakin puts his right hand out in front of his wife, beginning to choke her through the Force out of pure rage) “You brought him here to kill me!”

{Tardis}

(On Dorothy, gasping at the sight of her older brother acting so unlike himself)

{Naboo Skiff}

(Lucy is absolutely mortified by the scene outside, wanting to run out to stop Anakin. But she can’t. She’s in just as much danger now) *susan!!!* “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

{Landing Pad}

(Anakin catches sight of Lucy in the window of the cockpit, but the anger within him is only growing stronger now. Team Mix-In- except for Katniss, Dorothy, Naomi- yes, even her- and the Doctor- are now guilty by their association with Obi-Wan. Out of those four people, Anakin is certain that Katniss is the least guilty of them all. Because he’s never forgotten what she told him: Pan thinks that she’s a flight risk. And the thought of Pan makes Anakin’s anger rise even further [bro!!!! THE WINDPIPES OF YOUR WIFE! STOP IT! OMG! DO NOT DAEMYRA THIS SHIT!!! THINK RATIONALLY!] The sound of Obi-Wan’s voice somehow reminds him of who this is) “Let her go, Anakin!”

*choking* “Ani.”

(Obi-Wan is all the way down the ramp) “Let… her… go!”

(The sound of Padmè whimpering in extreme pain is just enough to make Anakin see what he’s doing: hurting his own wife. He immediately lets her go, watching her drop to the ground. She’s now unconscious. His heart shatters in his chest as he realizes that he’s done it again! And like before, he really, truly didn’t mean to. But the damage is done. He looks at Obi-Wan, furious) “You turned her against me!” [and surprise surprise… this is a fucking meme too!]

(Obi-Wan looks at his old apprentice) “You have done that yourself!”

(Anakin paces, dropping his robe on the ground) “You will not take her from me!”

(Obi-Wan removes his robe as well, allowing it to fall to the ground) “Your anger and your lust for power have already done that.” (On Anakin, glancing up at the top of the ramp. Concern grows in his eyes as he sees a newcomer in this pre duel confrontation) *Obi-Wan OC* “You have allowed this… Dark Lord to twist your mind, until now… now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.” [Motherfucker. Another meme]

“Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the Dark Side as you do.” (Anakin’s eyes soften now, but he still feels threatened. Not by Katniss, of course. After all, he can sense the worry and fear inside of her. Now, he wants nothing more than to guard her from the real threat) “Little bird.” (He holds out his hand) [is this poetry? Nah, fam. It’s not like that scene in TLJ. That’s absolutely not what’s happening here. Stop it] “Come here. Get away from him. He’s going to turn you against me.”

(Katniss shakes her head) “Anakin… I am not against you.”

(He feels hope) “Good.”

“But this is too far. You can’t do this. I know you’re in there. I can feel you in there. Palpatine isn’t trying to help you. He’s trying to turn you into something you’re not-“

“This is who I’ve always been.” (He goes to walk towards her, but Katniss immediately takes out an arrow. And, if that wasn’t enough, she aims for his shoulder) “That frightens you? Good. I’ll teach you how to use your fear.” [boi. You’re gonna teach her some shit. This ain’t it though, fam. Also, she’s gonna teach you some shit. I’m literally so excited for everyone to see it] “I can sense the Dark Side in you, Katniss. It’s strong. But as long as you’re near your father, you aren’t safe! He’ll torture you like he tortured me!”

{Tardis}

(All eyes on Pan, increasingly suspicious. The Doctor realizes that…) “You were trying to protect Katniss?”

(The lost boy rolls his eyes) “Why is everyone surprised that I care about my children?”

*catherine Tate intensifies* “I’m sorry. Have you met you?”

(But the Doctor is very upset) “That is no way to protect your children. You just couldn’t resist some good old fashioned villain nostalgia, could you?”

{Landing Pad}

(Anakin, still feeling threatened by Obi-Wan, is desperate to bring his sister to his side. He can sense the hatred within her; the anger; the fear; the pain; the loneliness; the confusion; the uncertainty and unease of the situation. All of these things are so easy for Anakin to sense and understand, and he wants more than anything to help Katniss turn to the Dark Side. [dude! That sounds awesome but it also sounds terrible! The world doesn’t need to see an evil Mockingjay] But she’s still aiming at his shoulder, so he can’t get his wish) “Put down the arrow, and come to me. I’ll protect you from Obi-Wan. I know he’s trying to turn you against me… but I believe you’re smarter than that. You’re stronger… better-“

“I don’t know what to believe at this point!”

(Obi-Wan looks to Katniss, making sure that he doesn’t appear to her as the enemy) “Katniss… you said you believe there is good in him. Perhaps you’re right… but if you release that arrow… what will you become?”

(That brings Katniss back to reality. What happens next is practically an act of betrayal to Anakin: the Mockingjay puts her arrow away… and stands beside Obi-Wan. Anakin feels as though he’s drowning, every second that passes feels like another person turning away from him. Out of pure anger and hatred, he tries to use the Force to pull his sister away from the bearded Jedi… but it doesn’t work. And he realizes…) “Pan cast a spell on you!”

(Katniss shakes her head) “No. I cast a spell on myself.”

“Someday, you’ll change your mind. You’ll join me. And then the real work begins. The war in Panem will end… and we’ll do what I did here.”

(Katniss is terrified now, unable to recognize her brother) “And what have you done?”

(Unable to look at Obi-Wan, Anakin turns around. He doesn’t see his old master checking on Padmè’s pulse) “I’ve brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire.”

(Padmè still has a pulse, but Obi-Wan doesn’t like what he just heard) “Your new empire?”

“Don’t make me kill you.”

[oh my god! We don’t need more memes! I can’t believe I just said that] “Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic. To democracy!”

(Katniss feels Anakin’s pain, and Anakin is able to feel hers too. That’s why he feels his heart shattering when he says…) “If you’re not with me… then you’re my enemies.”

“Anakin-“

“You’re either with me or you’re against me! There is no middle ground!” [but there is a high ground]

(Obi-Wan takes out his lightsaber) [you guys. I’m gonna lose it] “Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.”

“You will try.”

(Katniss is not willing to be a simple bystander. However, she knows that it’s not a very fair fight. She might have been in a few lightsaber fights… but she’s only ever been in them with her brother by her side. And now… he’s the opponent… and that’s why she’s scared to fight him. And while it’s not going to be just her against her former ward… she’s still unsure about the odds being in her favor. So when the lightsabers come on, she immediately gets her bow ready- special ability feature on- and watches her brother do a backflip towards Obi-Wan. Anakin is fast with his swordsmanship, and Obi-Wan is able to hold his own against each strike. Katniss doesn’t know if or when she’ll get her shot to step in, wanting to save her brother from stepping down the road of darkness, but she knows she has to be careful. But little does she know: Anakin has absolutely no intention of fighting his sister. However, he is willing to do anything to get her away from this battle so she doesn’t get hurt because of him. He’s already done enough damage to the person he loves the most… the woman he turned to the Dark Side for in the first place. And it’s that thought that makes Anakin even more angry, kicking Obi-Wan backwards. But the fight has only begun)

{Emperor’s Office, The Senate Building}

(In walks Yoda, who immediately attracts the attention of the red guards at the entrance. The old man simply knocks them out with the Force. The emperor turns in his chair, facing Yoda, who says…) “I hear a new apprentice, you have, Emperor. Or should I call you Darth Sidious?”

*disappointment* “Master Yoda… you survived.”

“Surprised?”

(Sidious grimaces) “Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda.” [dude. You belong in a zoo… because you’re a fucking hippo! Like a hypocrite? I’ll let myself out] “Now, you will experience the full power of the Dark Side.” [is it as bad as your breath?] (Sidious zaps at Yoda with his Force lightning! The elderly green man is thrown into the wall behind him, unconscious… but is he really? It’s a fair question)

{Separatist Base, Mustafar}

(Anakin Skywalker and his old master Obi-Wan Kenobi are still in their duel with Katniss Everdeen not too far behind. The fight is headed towards the main control center, where they reach a narrow hallway. In this hallway, they are unable to avoid slicing the walls around them. Katniss waits until the sparks are no longer flying to follow them. Inside of the center, the corpses of the Separatist leaders are still in their places. Katniss feels intensely afraid now… but that only makes her brother feel more pride, though he can’t deny that he’s feeling worried about her mental well being. Especially when he catches glimpses of her memories concerning the ruins of District Twelve, which prompts Anakin to move away from Obi-Wan and physically push his sister towards the exit. She resists, using her bow to hold off his lightsaber. They struggle for a moment, and Anakin speaks) “You have a death wish, little bird. Get out of here!”

(She grunts and kicks him off of her) “I’m not leaving you again!” (The duel between brother against brother continues. Katniss is certain of one thing: Obi-Wan needs to survive this battle… but so does Anakin)

{Emperor’s Office, The Senate Building}

(The office is now occupied by two men: Darth Sidious and Jedi Grandmaster Yoda, who is still on the floor. Sidious cackles as he walks towards the elder man) [this is also a meme. This… I… guys… this is too far] “I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend.” (Unbeknownst to Sidious, Yoda has opened one eye. The cackling continues as Master Yoda stands, but the Sith Lord carries on with his gloating) “At last, the Jedi are no more.” [not my gif

I said fuck off. I’m funny. I like being funny. Leave me alone]

“Not if anything to say about it, I have.” (With the power of the Force, Yoda yeets Darth Sidious backwards. The Sith Lord is knocked over in an embarrassing position. I’d even go as far to say that I… no. I don’t see France. My bad. Be a badass, Yoda) “At an end, your rule is.” (As Sidious stands, Yoda prepares for another attack) “And not short enough it was.” (He blocks his opponent’s exit, then moves to take out his lightsaber) “If so powerful you are… why leave?”

(Yoda ignites his weapon. Sidious is gleeful) “You will not stop me. Darth Vader will become more powerful than either of us.” [for the sake of my ovaries the universe… you better hope not!]

(And that’s when Sidious ignites his red blade. Yoda is certain of his next words…) “Faith in your new apprentice… misplaced may be.” (A lightsaber twirl) “As is your faith in the Dark Side of the Force.” (And the duel begins. Like a chihuahua, Yoda is tiny… but mighty. With each attack, it seems like Sidious is enjoying himself even more. Seriously, dude. Are you sitting on a feather? You’re laughing… an egregious amount. I’m a little worried)

{Control Center, Mustafar}

(Anakin grabs Obi-Wan’s throat with his mechanical hand, forcing his opponent onto his back. He attempts to put his blade towards his neck… but that’s when Anakin senses his sister behind him. He turns to look at her… but that’s his mistake. Obi-Wan literally kicks Anakin’s ass, forcing him to roll over. Katniss gets up on the table, standing on the other side of Darth Sidious’s new apprentice) “Anakin-“

(He immediately goes towards her, tackling her to the floor. To the surprise of himself and her, he makes this fight even. No lightsaber, just pure physical attack… and yet, these attacks seem too held back. At any moment, Anakin could easily end the life of Katniss in the blink of an eye… but he doesn’t. He hesitates, but that doesn’t mean he’s not causing damage. The hesitation allows her to escape… but only for a moment. He then pushes his sister up against the wall [i wish that were me… but in a loving way, you know? Like… soft], holding his arm up against her chest) “You have three choices: join me, leave, or die.”

“You’re not gonna kill me. I know you won’t.”

“Really? What makes you think that?”

[oh my god. I’m so fucking sorry] “Because you don’t have that look in your eye.”

“What look?!”

“The same one Peeta had when he tried to kill me.”

(At the mention of that name, Anakin becomes more protective. She’s right, he can’t kill her. But the rage is still strong enough to blind him) “He’ll pay for what he did to you-“

(With that distraction, Katniss forces him off of her. Anakin goes back to his primary opponent, remembering that Obi-Wan is the real enemy here. A kick in the bearded man’s face causes both men to fall. Their lightsabers drop to the floor. Obi-Wan kicks Anakin, who falls onto his back. They summon their weapons, and Anakin blocks Obi-Wan’s next attack. Katniss pulls out an arrow, now ready to take aim at her brother… to protect him, herself, Obi-Wan… but especially Peeta. She knows that the baker’s son is in danger now. She hasn’t forgotten what Sidious said that night at the opera: the Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural)

{Emperor’s Office, Senate Building}

(Darth Sidious and Yoda are now on the podium, still dueling. The podium begins to rise into…)

{Senate Chamber}

(… where both men continue to fight. This battle of good and evil is happening simultaneously with the battle of the heroes)

{Control Center, Mustafar}

(This battle between two friends is intense, and Katniss isn’t sure how much longer she can stand by and watch. That is, until the men reach a standstill, their blades locked. Katniss takes the opportunity to try and reason with Anakin) “I know how much you want to help… but what you’re doing isn’t helping.”

*omg sis* “Just shut up.” (In order to try and push Anakin away, Obi-Wan uses the Force… but Anakin blocks that attack with the Force as well. It’s a very tense struggle… and it ends with both men getting pushed back. They land on opposite ends of the room. Katniss is starting to worry, which Anakin can feel… but his hatred for Obi-Wan is growing. He lunges at him, and their sabers clash… onto the control panel. The base is now unshielded from the lava that flows below the structure, as indicated by the alarms. The door to the balcony opens, and the duel continues. Katniss is right behind her brother, who looks increasingly unlike himself. He kicks Obi-Wan in the nose, which makes Katniss take an arrow out. But Anakin senses that attack coming, so he turns around and grabs her by the wrist… tightly, yet… gentle) *genuinely trying to save you* “Go away.”

(Katniss, ever the survivor, is unwilling to give up on him) “No.”

(And their fight resumes. This one is more physical, with Anakin pushing Katniss backwards… right towards Obi-Wan) [my baby is pushing everyone away. That, my friends, is the Dark Side of the Force at work]

{Senate Chamber}

(Darth Sidious is having the time of his life right now, dueling against Yoda and throwing several senate pods at him with the Force. Yoda evades his attacks, going as far as to climb them. But at a certain point, he slips. When another pod comes for him, Yoda stops it with the Force. He starts to spin it around and then throws it right back at Sidious, who jumps out of the pod he’s in and lands in another one. Yoda is a literal chihuahua: tiny but mighty. He is tough as fuck, his lightsaber in his hand. Sidious, however, is a dirty cheater. Shooting his lightning at Yoda. The old man’s weapon is knocked out of his hands, but he is able to defend himself against the lightning. He pushes it towards Sidious, closer, closer, closer… until it causes a rebound. Both men are now forced to hang onto a pod. Yoda eventually falls to the floor below. Sidious can’t help but cackle at the idea that he’s won this fight. And he has… in a way. But Yoda still lives, though he may not be as happy as we are about that)

{Mustafar, Outside the Separatist Base}

(Obi-Wan and Anakin have reached the most dangerous place: the pipeline right above the lava river. Katniss carefully gets on the pipeline, following her brother. The young man is too preoccupied with his opponent to turn and face her. Everyone is trying to keep their balance, even when the pipe shakes. The men wait for a moment before they strike at each other, then they jump onto a platform nearby. Katniss joins them, trying desperately to make a move. In an attempt to get her away from the heat, Anakin pulls her towards him. She incorrectly assumes that he’s going to harm her, but the look in his eyes tells her that he’s desperate to keep her alive… but for what reason? She’s not sure. In a glorious moment of cinematic beauty, Anakin and Obi-Wan… engage with each other, physically trying to get the upper hand in their duel while the lava explodes in the background behind them)

(Katniss is still beside Anakin, and she’s now trying to figure out how to get out of this mess. But he senses her desire to escape, which makes him feel even more angry. Like the hellish landscape around him, Darth Vader boils with rage) “You had a choice! This is what you wanted, little bird!”

(Obi-Wan forces Vader to turn around, and now… he is the one that’ll guide Katniss out of this burning world. But Katniss is reminded of her conversation with her enemy… and she realizes that he is right…) *President Coriolanus Snow VO, archive audio* “It’s the things we love most… that destroy us.”

{Wiring Tunnel, Senate Building}

(Yoda crawls through the chute, grunting softly. He stops to speak into his comm link) “Hurry. Careful timing, we will need.”

*Bail VO, through device* “Activate your homing beacon when you’re ready.”

{Senate Chamber}

(Four clone troopers are looking for Yoda. So far…) “There’s no sign of a body, sir.”

[are you kidding me? This is a meme too? I’m so done] “Then he’s not dead.”

[bruh, chill. I don’t know why you in a big time rush. Ah ah aha oh!] “Double your search.”

*good soldiers follow orders* “Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”

(Sidious turns to Mas Amedda) “Tell Captain Kagi to prepare my shuttle for immediate takeoff.”

“Yes, Master.”

*the night is dark and full of terrors… but not the fun kind* “I sense Lord Vader is in danger.” [yes. From you, motherfucker!]

{Mustafar, Outside the Separatist Base}

(Enraged by Katniss’s unwillingness to be at his side, Darth Vader strikes at Obi-Wan with a vengeance. The duel is moving forward onto a paneled floor. Katniss, while still afraid of the monster her brother is turning into, feels like she can still find a way to bring him back to the good side… or at least try. [you can’t… but your nephew can! 🙌 He’s coming in like twenty four hours! Possibly twelve] But this place is definitely coming apart, and the lava isn’t helping. The duel is forced to go on hold, so Vader and Obi-Wan take cover. But Katniss is not fast enough to get away from her brother, who grabs her and holds her tightly. Those protective instincts are stronger than ever, but Katniss wonders how long it will take for them to be crushed by the Dark Side. [oh. Bitch. You’re not gonna believe what happens] But Vader’s grip on his sister’s body is tight, incredibly protective and he can feel her shaking against him) “Don’t try to run. You don’t wanna be the Girl Who Was On Fire, do you?” (An intense, frightening beat) *stop IGNORING ME* “Do you?!” (Katniss shakes her head, tries to fight him. He merely tightens his hold on her as the structure begins to fall. He nearly stumbles, which gives Katniss the opportunity to run away from him. Shes immediately caught by Obi-Wan. The duel isn’t ready to resume quite yet, but Anakin is dead set on “rescuing” his sister) [notice how I put rescuing in quotation marks! I’m still trying to figure out whose POV to tell this from in the novelization. Should I do both? This isn’t my gif

I’m so sorry that I haven’t seen this movie! 😭😭😭😭😭]

{Under the Roof of The Senate Building}

(In his speeder, Bail Organa follows the homing signal to find Master Yoda. Above him, a hatch opens. The little green man jumps down, landing in the passenger seat next to Bail. The elder man is clearly unhappy with the way things are unfolding, and he tells the senator…) “Into exile, I must go. Failed, I have.” [you are what your students grow beyond. That’s one of the only good things about the sequel trilogy and virtually no one talks about it! SMH!]

{Mustafar}

(And now, the duel resumes. Vader’s eyes are filled with determination, but Katniss can’t tell if he’s determined to kill her, or Obi-Wan, or both of them. She knows only one thing: this is not Anakin Skywalker. It’s not her brother. He gets angrier when he sees the eighteen year old climbing further away from him) “Stop running!” [this isn’t my gif either

Literally the same energy]

(Obi-Wan remembers that Katniss is an expert at climbing trees, so he’s not surprised by how far she gets from Vader. But he’s also very worried that she might be too far from him. Regardless, he knows that he needs to get Katniss out of here before she gets hurt… or far worse. [goddammit. I just remembered that Katniss ends up getting burned in the bombing of the Capital. Fuck me in my eye. Did you like that, Damien? I quoted you] In other news, the structure on which our three characters are holding on for dear life is now heading for a lava fall. Obi-Wan jumps, grabs a cable. Vader spots another cable, jumps onto one. Katniss, of course, is on her own. She’s very much afraid to fall. But, even as Vader clashes with Obi-Wan, he has no intention of leaving her to die. She can’t die now. After all… he needs her alive in order to get to Thirteen. [I am not writing that AU. I recommend you do it yourself. 😏 you’ll have fun. Trust me] So, he swings towards her) “Jump!” (She does… but then grabs onto the other cable, which is the one that Obi-Wan is holding. The bearded Jedi has spotted a floating platform big enough for Katniss and himself to fit on. He looks at Katniss) “On my back!” (She climbs up and onto Obi-Wan’s back [poetry kind of???]) “Hold on tight.”

(She doesn’t need to be told twice. She shuts her eyes as Obi-Wan leaps down towards the platform, landing safely onto it. Anakin is still on the structure… but he’s not done with this fight yet. It’s not over until [the mockingjay sings????? I’m sorry] he kills Kenobi and takes his sister away from Pan. His blood boils with anger as he runs across the falling tower, leaping onto a droid that just happens to be across from the platform upon which his opponent and his sister stand. The twenty three year old man has an intense expression on his face, and it’s enough to make Katniss tremble… especially when she sees him twirling his weapon the way he often would. The duel between two heroes continues now, and this time, Katniss doesn’t try to get an attack in. She’s exhausted, sweating… terrified. But she has no desire to give up on her brother, who she truly believes is still in there beneath all that darkness. Anakin pauses, looking directly at Katniss. He can feel her fear, and he’s starting to get the sense that she really, truly has no idea what her father is capable of. Obi-Wan speaks, saying exactly what Katniss is thinking) “I have failed you, Anakin! I have failed you.”

“I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!”

“Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!”

“From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!”

“Well then you are lost!”

[added because did you really think this would be forgotten… like that one scene in GOT involving Jaime and Cersei???? THE ONE BY JOFFERY’S CORPSE??!!!!!!!! 🥴🥴🥴🥴 WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT NOT ADDRESSED?!!!!!!!] “Perhaps I am not the only one who is lost.”

(Obi-Wan shakes his head. Katniss knows he’s talking about her) “Anakin, what you’re saying isn’t real!” [it’s like poetry, it rhymes ig. You’ll see what I mean in Season Eleven]

“Your father’s hand reaching into my chest felt pretty real.” (Off the shock on Katniss’s face) “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Anakin-“

“Katniss, as long as you stay on Team Mix-In, you’ll never be safe.”

“And I’d be safe with you?”

(A somber, tragic beat) “At least I would try to keep you safe. You deserve better than them. You, and Dorothy, and Naomi, and the Doctor… you all deserve so much better than them!”

{Tardis}

(Naomi is… very unhappy about that statement) *closeted who* “Did this… motherf…” (Sees Dorothy and Gavroche) “… funhouse… try to appeal to me through favoritism?”

(River’s actually very offended that Darth Vader didn’t even acknowledge her) [River Song would be offended. Let’s not lie to ourselves] “Yes. I think he did.”

(Naomi feels like she’s just been told something… very rude)

{The Lava River}

(Katniss is holding onto hope that she can turn Anakin back to the Light Side) “Ani… I know my father-“

“You only know what he’s shown you! You think he’s changed his ways but he hasn’t!”

“He can’t be any worse than what you’ve become-“

“THIS IS WHO IVE ALWAYS BEEN, AND YOU KNOW IT! YOUVE BEEN BESIDE ME THIS ENTIRE TIME! YOU KNOW THIS IS THE REAL ME!” (The next words are ones that will surely haunt Anakin for years to come… because deep down, he doesn’t actually mean them) “You could’ve put a stop to all of it. But you’re just too used to doing things like the Doctor would. You did nothing, and now… you’re going to live with it.” (Katniss forces herself to teleport away from the fight. By the time Anakin realizes his biggest mistake… she’s gone. And so, he turns his attention back to Obi-Wan) “This is the end for you, my master.”

(Obi-Wan prepares for the next attack. His opponent jumps onto the platform, then clashes his lightsaber with the other blade. Obi-Wan catches Katniss in the corner of his eye. And what’s this? The Mockingjay has the high ground. Ah. That seems like an excellent place to jump. That’s exactly what Obi-Wan does. He looks at the other man, who seems unwilling to give up. A shame, truly) [this, I can understand. But guys… I’m starting to get tired of counting memes] “It’s over, Anakin! I have the high ground!”

(He stares directly at Katniss, who takes an arrow from her quiver) “Ani, I really don’t wanna do this. But I will if I have to.”

[this, I get too. I guess this applies to how prequel memers I’ve inevitably inspired throughout this fanfic. I’m begging someone to use “What the hell is a Google”]

“You underestimate my power!”

“You haven’t learned anything yet.”

“Neither have you, little bird.” [omg. Even when he’s evil, he likes showing off to his little sister. This is either cute… or disgusting. I’ll let you guys decide] “Put the arrow down.”

(Katniss, afraid of being exactly like what her brother is becoming, puts the arrow back in her quiver. Obi-Wan shakes his head) [I swear, there’s a meme every other line!] “Don’t try it!”

(Oh. Oh, Anakin is trying it. He’s definitely trying it. The boy leaps up into the air, preparing to take his old master’s life… and is promptly defeated. Obi-Wan cuts off Anakin Skywalker’s three remaining limbs, watching him tumble down the hill. Katniss is shattered into pieces by the sight) *not my daughter, you bitch!* [sidenote: absolutely no credit will be given to the transphobic bitch on Twitter. Fuck that bitch. All credit goes to Starkid, Daniel Radcliffe, etc, etc] “Obi-Wan, what have you done?”

(He looks at Katniss. He knows he’s just triggered the protective instincts of a direct extension) “I had no choice. He would’ve killed you.” (Obi-Wan sees the blue eyes of Anakin disappear, and then… the yellow eyes of a Sith quickly replace the blue. This is now a young Jedi named Darth Vader, a pupil of his own who turned evil. The good man who was Anakin… has truly been consumed by Vader) [fuck. Guys, I made myself cry when I wrote this. Fml. Oh, and this is also a meme?!!!!! Fucking Christ! I’m so done!] “You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!”

(Wordlessly, Katniss goes to her brother. At this point, she’s done with staying in the shadows and watching awful things happen to the people she’s supposed to protect. It’s clear that this isn’t a happy story, and that makes her feel angry at the man who claims to be her father) “Anakin-“

(Darth Vader sees his weapon in the hand of Obi-Wan) [are you guys kidding me? I understand why this is a meme… but it’s such bad timing! What in the name of sanity] “I HATE YOU!!!!!”

(Katniss shakes her head, thinking that she’s the person he’s referring to. But when she hears Obi-Wan’s voice, she suddenly understands) “You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.” [

I am fucking done. I am… kill me please. I would like to be euthanized. I’m in pain. This hurts. Goddammit. Why didn’t this movie win the awards it deserved??!!! I can’t believe I’m saying this but social media should’ve come quicker! I’m done!]

(Katniss lets a tear go, reaching her hand for Vader) “Come here.”

(He snarls, but he’s not looking at Katniss) “COWARD!”

(Oh. It’s Pan. Katniss stands her ground) “I’m not leaving him-“

(Peter ignores her, grabs her arm) “Let’s go.”

*im in a rage, this is the maddest Ive ever been* “COWARD!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!” [I don’t remember this episode of Friends- oh. I- I am so sorry] “GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!!!!!!” [im done. I- I can’t]

(Peter stares down at Vader angrily, tightening his grip on his daughter’s arm) “Let’s go!”

(The girl struggles) “No! I’m not LEAVING HIM!”

[dude. Your words were, and I quote, “I like fire”. Do we need to go to urgent care, fam?] “We have to go!”

(Darth Vader catches fire, causing him to scream in excruciating pain. Peter quickly pulls Katniss away, even though she’s thrashing and screaming, begging to be released so that she can help her brother. But her pleas fall on deaf ears, and eventually, she’s too exhausted to fight. Vader watches this scene, even as his flesh and hair burn off. In his chest, his heart shrieks, begging to help his sister get free from the evil man who calls himself a father)

| Next Scene- Team Mix-In Divided |

#fanfiction #the mixiverse #anakin skywalker #eleventh doctor #katniss everdeen #star wars #doctor who #hayden christensen #matt smith #jennifer lawrence #obi wan kenobi #ewan mcgregor #master yoda #darth sidious #darth vader #the hunger games fanfiction #doctor who x the hunger games crossover #ouat x star wars crossover #mass crossover #multifandom fanfiction #long reads #the mix ins #peter pan once upon a time #revenge of the sith #anakin skywalker fanfiction #padme amidala #george lucas #lightsaber #mustafar

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome to Generation 4, and no spoilers but what the fuck. For reasons that will become obvious, I have to start this generation with a culminative update on everyone post-college. We begin, as all bad things do, in the main house. Sophito and Eliza have been invited over so we can ask their dumb asses to move in (since we’re over the household limit, fml) but we’ve ran into the problem of them refusing to get out of the hot tub.

-So babe, after we bang in the hot tub do you wanna knock my new teeth implants out? -You know it! -SOPHITO GET OUT ALREADY SO I CAN ASK YOU TO MOVE IN -In a minute, mom, gawd!

-Do you think your mom will like me, Soph? -I can’t see how she wouldn’t after watching us have sex in her hot tub!

-Great job knocking my son’s teeth out, Eliza! -Thank you, Mrs. Miguel!  -Please, call me Mom! 

LOL ya I had a feeling you two violent lunatics would hit it off. 

In case you were wondering, Shajar remains THE WORST. Cyneswith is more excited to see Sophito again than his own mother is.

-Welcome home, son! You made your mama proud with all that hoeing, huhu!🌸

-CYN, ARE YOU AWARE THAT SOMEONE IS MAKING OUT IN OUR HOUSE THAT ISN’T YOU AND iVAN?!? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL???

Ah, it’s like we never left!

Jojo is unironically 106yo so it’s wedding time, no time to draw this out at all.

-This wedding looks like garbage >:(

Excuse me?? I even got you those Celebration balloon chairs, I normally get the cheap garden ones and call it a day. If I even bother getting chairs at all, that is!

-I don’t care!!! I want my dream wedding!!!

Ya, best we can do around here is your dream divorce.

-Oh Sophito, standing here with you, in front of our families who don’t give a fuck and June in a wedding dress, brings up so many emotions.. Mainly the urge to scream hysterically.. -It’s gonna be ok babe, just stay calm. Focus on me and the fact I managed to not pop the collar on my wedding suit!

Awww, congrats guys!

-What the fuck is your mother wearing?

LOL sorry I forgot to change her formalwear!

-It’s still better than June’s. 

I SAID I’M SORRY

Despite some small sartorial problems, this is actually one of the better weddings we’ve ever thrown? There’s smustling..

..brotherly reunions..

..more brotherly reunions..

..and a zombie vs robot deathmatch! I don’t know what more Liz wanted, tbh.

A great wedding, if I say so myself!

-It was not. 

Whatever! Time to move on!

Daniel reunites with his bebes and meets their intendeds, who have moved in next door!

-Blue Meatballs, what a throwback! Going from my brother to my daughter.. Wow, I REALLY don’t know how I feel about that.

Let me help, you feel happy! 

-Do I though?

Yes, because June is happy, God help us. 

-Ok then!

June’s little sisters idolizing her is SO CUTE I CANNOT..

..it also makes perfect sense as Cleo and Cecilia are the biggest fucking nerds I’ve ever played, I think I’m legit gonna go in a Curious Bros direction with them.

We leave Daniel in perpetual happiness with Tara and his human and cat bebes-

-and move to Asshole Manor! Ok you two, take a break.

-What? But that’s only the 8th time we’ve banged today!

IT CAN WAIT. 

-It really can’t, we’re 90yo! 

Ya exactly, so the time has come..

..to reconnect, and in Gunther’s case, MEET your kids. Reginald stop thinking about crypto FOR 1 SECOND GOOD LORD

It quickly becomes apparent that we’re dealing with a level of estrangement that a few visits aren’t gonna fix, so it’s time for Gun and Mel to take their kids on a vacation! Isn’t this exciting, kids? 

-Fuck our lives💜 -I’m a woman of science but I kept praying for our plane to crash.  -It’s only 3 days, guys, how bad can it be?  -Our rooms have no computers, Reginald. -That’s not a thing, then people wouldn’t be able give financial advice on the internet! -Ya, they are not. -YOU’RE LYING. GET AWAY FROM ME

-Listen son, this isn’t easy for me to say.. -It’s ok, dad, I think I know what you’re thinking. -Then would you please get out so I can bang Melody in this sauna?

-Let’s go, kiddos, this is gonna be fun!  -Uh, mom, where’s the pilot?💜 -I’m the pilot! -Since when?? -Since this very morning when I took a class! I’ve topped 7 careers, how hard can this be? 

-I am relaxed.. I do not need to give financial advice on the internet..

-I am centered.. I do not need to give financial advice on the internet..

-I am floating.. I do not need to give financial advice on the internet.. -Hey kid, any suggestions on what to order around here? -You mean.. ADVICE on how to ALLOCATE your meal BUDGET?!?

How’s it going, JuJu?

-Having a lot of fun eating soup with chopsticks💜  -Can we go home already? I’m losing career momentum, at this rate I won’t be Chief of Staff by age 23! 

Fine, fine, we’ve made some valuable bonding progress already:

-Aaaaah, isn’t this great? -It sure is, mom!💜 -How many ‘get promoted’ wants do I need to roll before you take a hint? -You know, June, you get your workaholism from me!  -Oh ok then, that definitely makes up for being a teen girl growing up without a mother! 

OOF, ok this will take some time, let’s check out.

We return home and June straight tops the medical career-

-AT THIS AGE. I CANNOT. You know what will make this day even better??

HUHU💙🧆

We’re officially Blueballed! Man, that doesn’t sound right. Look at Melody in her matching teal dress, supportive queen! 

-It seems like yesterday I was trying to break Lakshmi and Gunther up, and now here she is, marrying my daughter!

Ok, legit let’s not think too hard about this because it’s very upsetting. Julian and Stacy I’ve decided I will not marry since they don’t want to and they’re married in their 💜s anyway. Next household..

..and I’m gonna let this picture speak for itself. I found out something genuinely shocking: BRIT AND HALF-ALIEN PROF ARE BFFS. Like they’ve been friends since BEFORE Trista banged Gunther, in her memory panel she become besties with Brit first?? Wtf. 

-We’re gonna be family now, isn’t that exciting, Brit Brit? -OH YA, IT’S EVERY MOTHER’S DREAM: HER SON GROWING UP AND MARRYING HER BEST FRIEND -I know, right?  -THIS IS SICK! -You’re on to talk, Castor, he’s probably into older women because of you and Brit!  -BRIT WASN’T MY PROFESSOR, TRISTA -I wasn’t Reginald’s professor either, I’m an art prof! So I’m broke to boot!  -I’m gonna go lie down. -Ya, right behind you, darling, but I think I’m gonna vomit first! Which is a shame because I just ate some excellent quail’s legs! 

Brit is acting up against this marriage like a rebellious teen, soaping her own gaudy fountain.

-That will teach Reginald! 

It really won’t!

LOL @ SHOWING UP IN YOUR SWEATPANTS, COME ON BRIT

-I WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS. 

What about now that Reggie gave birth to a beautiful ginger half-alien bb named BRITANNICUS? (I figured Half Alien Prof knocking him up made canon sense, hehe.)

-Ok, I accept this🖤

Good! Time for our final household!

Sugar and Claire! They adopted a bunch of Wulf’s 30 pets and moved into this beautiful house that I of course didn’t build.

Sugar autonomously knocked Claire up the literal second they moved in so we had a shotgun wedding..

..catered by Claire!

-What are these salads you guys are eating?? -Oh uh.. we kinda brought them with us.  -WHY -Uhh.. We don’t feel worthy of your food? -AWWWW. That’s true, you’re not! 

Sugar actually started the military career at like level 8 thanks to his insane college grades and I was like wtf??

-I got fired :(

Ya, that’s more like it.

Claire is also doing shockingly well, she’s a lvl 9- 

-And I’ll be a level 10 once I figure out how ovens work!

-and she gives birth to a beautiful bb whom Sophito attempts to kidnap after showing up uninvited, wtf. Anyway, the bb is a boy and I name him Spice! Now Claire has Sugar, Spice, and everything nice :)

I don’t know what drugs Sophito is clearly on because it appears he came over to legit.. help the new parents? Like he fed Spice and then started cleaning? Very shocking stuff in this family.

Sugar is a really good parent, I don’t know where the fuck he could have possibly learned this but it’s super cute!

AND HE TOPS HIS CAREER AND GETS THIS INSANE BONUS. YAS

I’m so proud of you!!! And boy was that cavalier hat doing a lot of heavy lifting when it came to your face. 

Spice grows up and the Don nose claims another generation :(

-Ah, I’m so glad my son is learning this at age 2 and not age 12 like I did :)

Claire is skilling like crazy because let me tell you, she is UNQUALIFIED AS FUCK. Like legit Wyatt-tier when he started as a SWAT Team Leader and was missing half the necessary skill points..

..and it turns out to be a complete time waste because she tops her career by chance card LOL

Congrats, Claire!!! 

-I knew I’d make it! Claire’s Frozen Meat Delights™ is going global! 

It sure is! Globally banned! What a perfect day, I’m sure nothing will ruin it! Why am I hearing hearts??

Oh right, it’s because SUGAR IS BANGING JESSICA PICASSO WHOM HE BROUGHT OVER FROM WORK

WHAT THE FUCK SUGAR

-I couldn’t help it, we practically have the same face!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OMG 

-My genes! 

BRUH. Real talk I legit didn’t know what the fuck to do with this, I haven’t felt as bad as I did for Claire since DANIEL. I think this is very true to life too, like how many hot girls ‘give a chance’ to some fug guy because he was nice/funny/whatever and he ends up cheating?? Fucking hell.

I quickly decide there’s no coming back from this because I even stopped Sugar and then he went back and BANGED JESSICA AGAIN and is full on in love with her:

ONE BOLT. 1 VS 3 WITH CLAIRE. I CANNOT WITH THIS LOSER- 

-so I invite Jessica over so Claire can catch them, this is truly BULLSHIT.

Claire loves him so much she’s straight up heartfarting over him WHILE DIVORCING HIM. HE’S THE WORST

And poor Spice goes into aspiration failure because he had a fear of his parents divorcing, amazing! Great job, Sug!

-WAAAAAAAAH I CAN’T BELIEVE HAVING AN AFFAIR RUINED MY FAMILY, THAT’S NOT WHAT I LEARNED GROWING UP

GET OUT OF HERE SUGAR

Poor Claire immediately goes to teach Spice to talk so she can repair his aspiration..

..and beats up Jessica’s dumb ass. She then rolls the want to go on a date and I’m like don’t have to tell me twice:

WILFRED IS BACK LOL. Bro I still cannot fucking BELIEVE this has happened, Sugar was so loyal the entire time, I think once he got married it triggered the Cyn genes?? I have no other explanation for it. 

Now the question arises, what the fuck to do with Sugar, because I’m not playing a single Sugar household. So, with a heavy heart: 

-It’s ok, bro! -You’re not judging me for destroying my family for no reason whatsoever? :( -Of course not, who am I to judge?

-Sophito’s right, honey, your family, including your dad’s hot ass, will always be here for you with no judgment! Because we have absolutely no room to judge💗

-SUGAR YOU’RE A FUCKING DISGRACE. RUNNING OUT ON YOUR FAMILY LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU  -I DIDN’T RUN, I WAS KICKED OUT! -SHUT YOUR STUPID TRAP. WE HAVE NOWHERE TO PUT YOU SO YOU’RE SLEEPING IN THE CRYPT WITH SANDY. NOW FUCK OUTTA HERE, I HAD TO INTERRUPT MY WOLF-WAITING TO BERATE YOU 

Sugar happily heads off to work the next morning along with Sophito but I’m not seeing him getting in the car..

..and it’s because JOJO STOPPED HIM TO DO THAT AUTONOMOUS LECTURE INTERACTION. I CANNOT

-Listen here, you absolute disappointment, as long as I’m head of this family you’re gonna be paying rent to live in my crypt! -Well that won’t be very long, you’re 108! -Sophie is gonna be head after me, so good luck with that! Now fork over that 55k bonus! 

-I don’t have that, Claire got it in the divorce! -YOU FUCKING WHAT. SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE -The 20k I moved in with :( -THAT’S AUTOMATIC -I know :( -GET OUT OF MY SIGHT 

Welcome home, Sugar!

Same, Sandy, same. 

#gen 4 #ts2

[lexstellaris]

friends, three good things happened today! i finally got back to work and it was good to be back. I'd missed the place tbh, and it was nice to be greeted fondly as well by some of the ladies. Hey! You're back! :D is always a good reaction to get ngl.

Anyway. The first good thing was our new area manager, K, arriving to chat to us and get to know us. She used to work in the warehouse and worked her way up, so at least she has some insider knowledge about the org, it's strengths, and its weaknesses.

She does seem lovely tho, and I basically hung around her for like, the better part of two hours lol as we chatted and she got to know us and the store. She brought us a whole pile of eletrical goods to sell and we pared down some of the plastic containers that don't really sell.

She also understands our need for better communication - lol apparently every shop she's been to has told her that. XD So hopefully things might improve on that front. :D?

Second good thing was seeing M, the lady I work with on Fridays, who I hadn't expected to see, but I think K called her in on the wrong day or something idk. But she got the biggest hug from me bc I have indeed missed her so much. <3 It was so nice to catch up with her and I'm so excited to go in on Friday to chat to her some more. :D

Third best thing was that K is gonna let J come back, the lady I used to work with on Fridays, so there won't just be M and me on Friday afternoons, and BOY have I missed her too! :D We're getting the gang back together hell yeah! :D J moved to another store that's closer to her (and for other reasons as well) but our prev area manager didn't want her working in our store so we were just stuck with me and M fml. But not K! :D K's letting her work one day (on Fridays) again bweeeee. :D

Also K is very understanding that, you know, life happens. if the store closes bc of lack of staff, it closes. If you're sick, or can't come in, that's okay. And, like, it is nice to feel like someone is actually listening to us and respects us, you know?

Me explaining how prev area manager never looped me in on supervisor meetings bc she didn't count me as one, and K going, omg I didn't know you were a supervisor, I was gonna ask if you wanted to be one!, and I just. <3 Being seen for what you bring to the job, you know? It feels...nice. After two shit area managers who never really gave a shit about the store, or about the volunteers.

#rl things #three good things! :D #maybe the cards were right idk #that things are going to get better from here :D?