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moviemagistrate · 3 years

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ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD review

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD is my favorite movie of the 2010’s.

I’ll give you a minute to put your recently-blown mind back together.

So why do I love this movie so much? The overall response to Quentin Tarantino’s supposedly penultimate opus has been very positive if not rapturous, but I’ve seen some surprisingly lukewarm and even negative reviews, with people criticizing it for being slow, meandering, lacking in depth or *shudder* boring. Obviously the quality of any movie is subjective, as I’m quick to remind anyone who hates Michael Bay movies, but I honestly don’t understand people who dislike OUATIH. Maybe it’s a matter of expectations, because I didn’t know how to feel about the film for much of the first time I watched it either.

The year is 1969, a time of great political and cultural change in the country and in the entertainment industry. The star-driven films of yesteryear are giving way to grittier, artsier, more auteur-driven works as we primarily follow Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio), former star of a popular cowboy show whose failed attempt to start an A-list movie career has left him relying on guest spots as TV villains-of-the-week to stay afloat. This is wonderfully laid out in the opening scene where he meets casting director Marvin Schwarz (Al Pacino, easily his best role since JACK & JILL), who lays out Rick’s lowering hierarchical status (“Who’s gonna kick the shit out of you next week? How about Batman & Robin? PING. POW”), while offering him an opportunity to be a leading-man again in Italian pictures.

Tagging along is Rick’s best, and maybe only, friend Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), Rick’s go-with-the-flow stunt-double who in the slowdown of Rick’s career has effectively become his driver and gofer, as well as Rick’s sole source of emotional support. Rick is also neighbors with Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie), the beautiful young actress and wife of then-superstar director Roman Polanski (whose inclusion in the film is minimal and handled tastefully), as she lives out her idyllic life, beloved by those around her like the ray of sunshine she was in real life. Her gated, hillside home looms over Rick’s, as he ponders aloud about how even meeting her the right way could resurrect his career.

For almost two-and-a-half hours, we follow these three characters as they just live out their lives, Rick nursing hangovers and having emotional breakdowns in front of his 8-year-old co-star on set while contemplating his future, Cliff going where the wind blows him while taking care of his adorable and highly-trained dog, and Sharon as she drives around Old Hollywood, spends time with her friends, and sneaks into a matinee showing of one of her movies, her eyes and infectious smile beaming with pride when the audience laughs at her comedic timing and cheers her martial-arts prowess.

I think it’s safe to say it’s not the film any of us were expecting from Quentin Tarantino. Having only made loud, gory, over-the-top genre pastiches for the last 15 years, you’d expect from the trailers for this to be about an actor and his sexy stunt-double getting mixed up with the Manson family before teaming up with Bruce Lee to save Sharon Tate from her horrific real-life fate, mixed with the filmmaker’s usual self-indulgent homages to films of yesteryear. While some of this is true to some extent, it’s surprisingly a much more relaxed, easygoing dramedy that follows a trio of funny, charismatic people as they just…exist, as people living in the moment instead of relics.

OUATIH is much more concerned with atmosphere, character, and capturing the feeling of a bygone era than the traditional narrative structure. It’s more effective than pretty much every nostalgia trip movie I've ever seen because you can feel Tarantino's affection for this era of his childhood bleed through every character, car, song, radio advertisement, TV show, background poster, etc. It’s through this meticulous level of detail and willingness to just hang out with these characters and take in this world that he reconstructed, Tarantino successfully resurrects the era in all its 35mm glory, but with the knowing twinge of real-world melancholy.

I guess the reason I love it so much is because the love that Tarantino has for everything and everyone in it is so tangible that it’s infectious. Watching OUATIH I honestly felt like I understood him better as both a filmmaker and as a person. He shows a level of restraint and maturity I haven’t seen since JACKIE BROWN. Even most of his trademark foot fetishizing is tasteful and subdued (I say “most” because I recall at least three close-ups of actresses’ feet that definitely made him a bit sweaty behind the camera). He’s a weird, shameless nerd with a big ego, but he’s 100% sincere about expressing his love for film and its rich history. And it’s this love, and the skill and style with which it’s expressed, that just put a big smile on my face each of the 6 (SIX) times that I’ve seen it since it came out.

Tarantino offers a tantalizing contrast between reality and fantasy. Throughout the film, as the characters of Hollywood live in their own idyllic world, relaxing in pools or driving around in bitchin’ cars, we also see the disquieting eeriness and griminess of the Manson family. The soundtrack and accompanying old-timey commercials for tanning butter or Mug Root Beer that plays through a lot of the film is a joy to listen to, but we also hear news bulletins of the war in Vietnam or the aftermath of the Bobby Kennedy assassination. You could argue this is just to set the scene for the era, but it feels too deliberate, because even after that joyously fantastical ending, we remember that it was just a fairy tale and real life didn’t turn out as pleasantly. Tarantino’s ability to make his world and characters so meticulously detailed and lived-in works to great effect in instilling a bittersweet melancholy to this film in a way I was really taken aback by. It feels like a window into his soul, someone who yearns for the fantasy of the world he grew up in but remembering that not all good things last and not everything in your nostalgic past was good to begin with.

One beautiful, spellbinding scene is Rick and Cliff coming back from their excursion into the world of Italian filmmaking. In this montage, we see Rick, Cliff and Rick’s new Italian wife arriving at the airport and driving home before unpacking their baggage, interspersed with Sharon Tate welcoming a guest at her home and having lunch, before cutting to a series of shots of famous LA landmarks like Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Taco Bell, and Der Wienerschnitzel all meticulously resurrected in their retro glory as they light up the night. “Baby, baby, baby you’re out of time”, sings Mick Jagger as we’re watching multiple stories about people who are each embodying those words: Rick’s career, his friendship with Cliff, Sharon Tate, and Hollywood itself.

Tarantino himself feels like one of the last mainstream auteur filmmakers, as well as one of the last and biggest proponents of shooting large-budget movies on film (even Scorsese’s embraced digital now, the fantastically-talented traitor). And with the rise of streaming services, one can’t help but feel like the movie-going experience itself is also becoming obsolete, especially recently, what with theaters going to war with distributors over fucking TROLLS: WORLD TOUR, not to mention that global pandemic we’ve been having lately all but killing general audiences’ enthusiasm for the movie theater experience (Christopher Nolan’s TENET certainly didn’t help). If all these things, both real and fictional, are indeed out of time, then at least with Tarantino’s penultimate film they get one hell of a bittersweet sendoff, a great time that’s more of an Irish wake than a funeral, and it’s a film I have no issue calling a truly introspective, late-career masterpiece.

And that’s without mentioning uniformly incredible cast. Leo DiCaprio, an actor I normally don’t care too much for, gives the best and funniest performance of his career as a dependent prima donna actor clinging to his remaining fame. Brad Pitt earns the hell out of his Oscar as an embodiment of old-school masculinity and charisma with an amazing set of abs (and everything else) whose outward coolness masks his mysterious past and complete badass-ness. Margot Robbie shines in her depiction of Tate, a beacon of warmth and likability who in many ways symbolized the love and carefree attitudes of the swingin’ 60’s. I’ve heard people criticize her character for not having a lot of dialogue, but to me it feels like they’re ignoring the visual storytelling, which just gives way to them assuming the film is sexist just because the female lead isn’t constantly monologuing. Every member of the supporting cast is memorable with their own quirks and great lines, no matter their screentime.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a Tarantino joint without some truly hilarious and shocking violence, and without going into spoiler territory, the last 20 minutes delivers on this promise to such a degree that I feel comfortable calling it the best thing he’s ever done. Some may decry the climax as unnecessary or over-the-top, but the way it leads to an alternate world while subtly acknowledging what happened in the real one is cathartic beyond belief. And if you’re paying attention, every scene in the movie has been quietly building towards this finale, which to me takes away any potential of feeling meandering in the story. If you saw the movie and didn’t much care for it, I recommend giving it another watch. Having the context ahead of time makes it feel so much more rewarding, and even on the fifth watch I’m noticing clever, subtle set-ups I missed beforehand.

It’s also just super cozy and really easy to watch. The two hours and 45 minutes fly by. I could watch a 4-hour version of this.

Quentin, if you’re reading this, please don’t let your last movie be Star Trek.

#tarantino #feet #hippies #brad pitt

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holidcy · 4 years

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i am actually embarrassed to say how long this intro too me to write out ? so im not gonna say it ! it’s not like it took be 3 hours or anything 👀 . and for what ? idk because this intro is a mess . but anyways ... i’m mia , i’m a whole twenty years old which really just feels like a glorified teenager but whatever , we’re not here to talk about that right now . we’re here to talk about my lil baby holly . guys she is literally the sweetest human ever ? but also ? to sensitive for her own good and really the good of those around her ? very happy feet energy coming form this girl . but without further ado , below you can read up on holly & if you wanna plot give this a like . also my discord is 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 if you wanna plot there or just generally chat !

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: holiday elena addams nickname: holly ( she’s basically turned this into her name , not one really calls her holiday ) , holls , elle ( by her parents ) birthday: june 3rd birthplace: chicago , illinois hometown: highland park , illinois ( although the family home was located in highland park her parents would in chicago and holly even attended private school in chicago ) residence: new york city , new york nationality: american ( est. 1999 through birth ) ethnicity: english ( maternal & paternal , 50% ) , polish ( maternal , 25% ) , spanish ( paternal , 25% ) religion: catholicism orientation: heterflexible ( she claims being straight but in all actually she’s not closed off to anything despite not having much experience outside the opposite gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , spanish ( fluent , second language ) , polish ( conversation , third language ) , mandarin ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: leandro oliver addams ( 49 years old ) was born & raised in chicago , illinois by a politician / businessman & a philanthropist . leandro went on to take a little bit from both of his parents as he is a highly esteemed business tycoon as well as being regarded as one of the most charitable men in the world . ( relationship: there has never been a day that has gone by where the two didn’t get along . if there is anyone in this world who gets holly it is her father . truly , daddy’s little girl . the two of them are as thick as thieves . ) mother : susanna renee addams ( nee daniels ) ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in long island , new york . the daughter of a hedge fund investor & a stay at home mother . susanna grew to be an amazing cosmetologist and which the help of her father’s amazing business mind she was able to start up a salon in new york city . she gained the most devoted clientele , loving every second of her work . she took a break for almost a decade before deciding to return to the beauty industry . today she has salons across the globe in chicago , los angeles , toronto , london , and new york city . ( relationship: susanna often had to play bad cop when it came to parenting and because of this the two butted heads quite often whilst holly was growing up . despite this , her mom is her role model and the two have always had a friendship that underlined their mother - daughter relationship . ) social class: upper education: attending new york university ( s. 2018 ) she spent her first year of university at usc , she’s majored in creative writing at both universities career: author ( her book is a coming of age mystery called privilege that she’s recently admitted to writing the full book during a coke binge ) , internet personality , philanthropist , socialite , and student notoriety: being apart of the prominent addams family , amassing over 32m followers on all social media platforms , publishing a new york times best selling book at the age of seventeen . weight: 120lbs height: 5′5″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: brown positive traits: benevolent, high spirited , extroverted , romantic , honest , affectionate , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , approachable , charming negative traits: immature , vain , garrulous , critical , sensitive , stubborn , inattentive , naive , sarcastic , obsessive , insecure , impractical , irritable likes: anything strawberry flavored , flowers , driving fast , pink , watching the first snow fall , birthday parties , lips gloss , netflix , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , agatha christie , redecorating , driving with the windows down , long plane rides , denim jackets , taco bell , orange juice , makeup , sports , female empowerment , online shopping , fresh berries , roller skating , photography , writing , tea dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , coffee , having no siblings , deep water , bad drivers , body shaming , pizza , hateful people , being rushed , cuss words , repetition , disloyalty , being alone , horror movies , dentists , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , the unknown , traffic , wine , poptarts , small spaces , hobbies: reading with a hot cup of tea , video editing in the back of a car , smoking before bed to help fall asleep , going out to eat with her parents , napping , hiding alcohol in her bedroom , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , stashing drugs in jewelry boxes , sleepovers with her closest friends , talking the dogs on walks , early morning instagram lives , old disney marathons , scribbling in a notebook while snuggled up in bed chara inspo: olivia baker ( all american ) , leila faisal ( all american ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , elena gilbert ( the vampire diaries ) , dorothy gale ( wizard of oz ) , lucy pevensie ( chronicles of narnia ) , lara jean ( to all the boys i loved before ) , elle woods ( legally blonde ) , jeffree star , jenny humphrey ( gossip girl ) , cassie howard ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: vsco girls , bella hadid , megan markle , rihanna , selena gomez , perrie edwards , emma watson aesthetics: ghostly sounding music playing as background music to a pen to paper , eyes widened at the chance to do something positive , the annoying beg for approval , infectious energy , a pout so crippling , the swell of regret as you sneak a bottle into your bedroom , tanned skin tousling with silk sheets , big eyes threatening to shed a tear , the zip of a pink mclaren

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐄𝐑𝐀

holly is the only child to leandro and susanna addams ( the addams family 👀 ) . she was born with not just a silver spoon but the silver spoon . the addams are a prominent american family , that are regarded as one of the leading industrialist during the gilded age . in short her families been billionaire rich for a long time and are known as one of the families to bring wealth to the city of chicago . she was incredibly spoiled growin gup as you would assume but by the grace of her parents teachings she was anything but a brat . she had being filthy rich and being an only child working against her and she still managed to be the most giving and down to earth child . from a young age holly would give her toys to other kids during play dates & ask her parents if she could donate the things she didn’t use anymore to the less fortunate .

although her father had a busying career as he took over the family company just a year before holly was born , but in spite of that he always made time for his family . luckily her mother had stepped away from her career soon after meeting holly’s father , so she was able to be a stay at home mom and be there for every important moment of holly’s life . by the way , susanna was straight of of a real housewives show only just an overall better person ? they had dinner together as a family every night , threw parties at the house for every big moment in holly’s life . everything from birthdays , graduations , academic honors , to becoming captain of the cheerleading team and everything in between warranted a celebration in the eyes of susanna and leandro .

she grew up extremely sheltered , mostly because her parents wanted to keep their little girl well their little girl . they didn’t want the world to taint her . she went to church every sunday and even wednesday nights , if she wanted to have a sleepover it was always at the addams household , and her parents met the parent/s of every kid she befriended growing up .

despite their attempts her parents couldn’t shield her from one thing . getting her heart broken and at sixteen she experience her first bout of heart break . the boy she’d falling head over heels for just stopped talking to her one day , with no rhythm or reason he moved on to another girl with a blink of an eye . she couldn’t understand why ( pst ? it was because she slept with him and that was all he wanted to begin with ) someone could be so cruel an play with someones heart like that . it was her first experience of how the world could really work and in all honesty , holly couldn’t handle it . she got her hands on her parents bar room in the house and would literally drink every night before bed so she could sleep .

this soon turned into her going to parties , promising her parents "i just want to hang out with my friend , i wont touch any alcohol” and her promise was always kept , she didn’t touch alcohol at these parties instead she smoke weed and on the chance one of her friends had it on them she’d do a line .

this double life , if you would , didn’t lead to any real issues , at least not while she was in highschool . she still graduated top of her class and even got accepted into her dream school university of southern california . it wasn’t until she was a semester deep in usc that she realized she was losing control over her life . maybe it was a mix of her derailing mental state , being separated from her parents , and the los angeles social make up . whatever it was holly wasn’t too far gone to see she needed help .

instead of going back to school the following semester holly checked herself into rehab . her parents freaked out , unaware their daughter had touched a substance a day in her life . it was a long process and took alot of owning up for her own wrong doings but after a couple months she checked out of rehab and flew out to her parents .

she had decided upon leaving rehab that her best bet directly after getting out would be to surround herself with people who loved her . during her short stint in california her parents had made the temporary move to new york city so that her mom could focus on the salon in the city , so holly transferred to new york university to continue her studies and be around her parents .

she lives under their roof , despite being more than self efficient thanks to her multiple branches of income including her trust fund but she figures there is only so much more time before they leave to go back to chicago that the more time she spends with them the better off she’ll be when they leave the city . speaking of , she doesn’t know her parents will be leaving the city in the next few months . on a positive note they plan on paying the rent in the apartment they live in for her until she finds somewhere she likes better .

today , holly is a sober ( she smokes weed here and there but it’s not a addictive so it fine 🙄 ) and happy . although due to how sensitive the girl is anything could make her snap , she’s incredibly fragile guys . like capable of having a mental break at any moment but like we ignore it because if we bring it up it’ll happen . wooo .

not so fun fact ? when she has an off day she’ll literally sit in her room holding either a bottle she had hidden in her walk in closet or stares at the coke she keeps in her jewelry box . she hasn’t used any of it but she tells herself its there as a reminder when really it’s a crutch for if she ever needs it again , she has easy access .

secret time ? she pushed her ex boyfriend of a balcony while she was drunk . this happened before she went to rehab ... perhaps you could say it was what prompted her to realized her crazy ass needed to go to rehab . ummm , it’s not acceptable and she knows this but one thing we all need to know about holly is that holly + substances + being upset = toxic shit that is always the equation and there is never another answer to it .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

maybe a fellow chicago native ? who she dated in highscool and you know is the one who dropped her like a hot potato after she slept with him

ex hook ups

frenemies but more like a blair & lil j circa season 1 situation ?

someone who just doesn’t like her , but like she does everything she can think of to get them to like her

an unrequited ting were he’s leading her one so he can sleep with her ?

or maybe someone has a crush on holly but she just doens’t have the heart to tell them she’s not interested so now here she is kissing and OMG YUP NOW SHES SLEEPING W THEM ...

someone she races ? she loves cars especially fast ones

a we hang out and watch/obsess over sports but the whole time i can’t help but think about how hot you are kinda vibe ?

someone who is v bad for her and they know it but she doesn’t care because she like them so much & he likes her too but knows he’ll hurt her ?!

someone who sees that she might be teetering on falling off the wagon ( maybe they were over her place and saw the stash of substances all over her room ), maybe they’re trying to get her to stop smoking weed bc they feel like for her that’s a huge gateway

smoking buddies where they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit

someone who she used to party with & be wild with ( could be from chi or nyc because she visited alot as a kid ) and now they feel like she’s a lame bc she’s sober

she’s a good influence on them ? they’re a bad influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her parents place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed but like she got tricked into doing it ? anything fluffy , anything angsty ... reall just anything you got , i’ll take !

#wealthyhq:intro #❛ 🍒 ── 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑. / intro.#did i proof read this ? the lucky conch shell say ...#NO

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hellyeahrpmemes · 5 years

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※ SHIT I HEARD AT COLLEGE: YEAR III ※

the thrilling saga of shit i’ve heard at college continues; these are all from my first semester of junior year. feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more ‘shit i heard/said’ starters!

"Bippity-bop, is that the name of a song?"

"I'd like to die in Spain, in my lover's arms. Or just not be murdered, that'd be cool too."

"You've gotta hydrate before you die-drate."

"We are going to steal Niagara Falls."

"Roundabouts are my bitch."

"Being confused with a freshman isn't the worst thing to be confused with. Better than being confused with a serial killer."

"It was when I was three and almost burned down the house."

"Is that in the interview? How's your immune system?"

"The devil's weakness is shrubbery."

"I have a very strong immune system because I'm gross."

"It's supposed to help my hairline… it’s not gonna help my hairline.”

“You have to rest to fight the chairs.”

"If you scroll back far enough, you'll see her post pictures from her mission trip, as the whites do."

“She used to be full of sunshine and rainbows and then she turned into a bitch.”

"No hand holding. Only blowjobs."

"Elon Musk is gonna cry."

"Are you about to be in a porno but in real life?"

"Autocorrect is a Jewish saint."

"He's a claymation penguin and he will change your life."

"Our fridge was just organized like... shitty Tetris."

"I had two bananas and six pieces of cookie dough... I need to go to the grocery store."

"Goodnight, you... people..."

"There's only four very very sticky coffee colored pennies."

"When you're kinda kinky: spank-esque."

"Officer, you can't arrest me. It's gameday.”

"Welcome back to Sophie Doesn't Know How To Accurately Portion Food. On this episode, we're making a fuck load of pasta."

"On a scale of one to ten, he was fine."

"I'm gonna pour barbecue sauce all over my finger and act like I cut it off."

"The cornbread might be a minute, but the porn-bread won't be."

"First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you."

"After this game, we could go to the dining hall and get unlimited biscuits."

"We took a vote. You're going to have to start needlepointing."

"I thought it couldn't rain in here...! I thought that was a myth...!"

"No, I can make soup. I can't make pie!"

"The leather riding crop. A classic."

"You want me to distill the water? Harvest a fucking raincloud?"

"I need to straight up snort caffeine pills for it to work."

"You do your homework, you die."

"If you accidentally stab me, it would be really funny?"

"Do you guys take ghost money?"

"When I was little, I really liked showering in the dark."

"Not to be dramatic, but are you going to tell him you love him?"

"Somebody broke into my car last night and smoked meth."

"Maybe they were talking about someone else, but now I'm sad."

"Am I eating sawdust or cardboard?"

"And then he sent three pictures of Mediterranean food."

"Just stand there and be sad."

"There are no more Toys R Us kids. Only Crate And Barrel adults."

"That cake almost killed me. I'll have more, please."

"Would you like some Jesus?"

"I don't care how convenient it is, never buy milk at the gas station."

"He just destroyed his table with an ax that he found on the street."

"Deep fried Coca-Cola...! Solidify it, deep fry it, eat it."

"You Uber to class? Like... all the time?"

"I'm not even going to try. No, you know what? I am going to try."

"How do you pronounce "p-h-t-h"?"

“That’s a good cloud! Let’s cheer for that cloud!”

"Also, I was sad and drunk, so..."

"What happens if you pour beer on a candle?"

"Nobody minds a little violence in October."

"Apparently, they don't poop out of their mouths."

"Are you ever $270 in credit card debt and you just don't care?"

"You know what we had to read last year? 1200 pages of Don Quick-sote."

"She had an attack of religious conscience and she was like, mmm, the devil."

"I'm Billy Wilder, and you can go fuck yourself."

"I paid for these with student loans and complaining."

“I was so stressed I blacked out.”

"I was listening to a sad audiobook, about to cry on the Stairmaster."

"So God comes out, dick swinging..."

"It's only from May to September, because that's... prime goat season."

"Really tempted to buy a dog or a raccoon right now."

"He's such a cute little tall man."

"Sammy serves no man."

"Tell me I did a great job."

“I’ll speak for everyone and say we have no idea what’s going on.”

“Maybe we can have an affair next week.”

"The colors of the wind need to chill."

“It has 18 wheels! That’s too many wheels!”

"I had a nightmare about that ham."

"It's almost like Groundhog Day, but awful."

"Come to the darkness. We don't have cookies and we have sad but like still come."

"Alright, let's go eat this ass."

"Military hardware is not my thing."

"Put me down for two scoops of pain, please."

"Gotta get away from the capitalists."

"Color schemes like this are what happens when you don't have any gay men in your life."

"I won 86 cents."

"Can we kill death itself?"

"Stuff on bread -- a category I can get behind."

"If I can't be gay in my own home where can I be gay?"

"There was a little tiny towel that I used to dry most of my body."

"Frazzled onions - they have an exam tomorrow."

"Everybody loves you and the ones that don’t, they're going to jail."

"It's no big deal, but Buzzfeed told me I'd find my husband abroad, so..."

"These two men, a combined height of 12'10"..."

"It was one AM and I was not about to get into the Pussy Discourse but I am now."

"I'm a Suffering major."

"That's my 1/100th of a cent that I worked for."

"They misspelled canoeing ‘canerfing’."

"I sent nudes in a Waffle House bathroom"

"On Monday, let's all get together and cry."

"I'm never going to do that again. But probably tomorrow."

"All I know is that those two glasses look like six."

"If you play a draw four card, I'm gonna sneak into your room and slit your throat."

"I don't wanna drink for men."

"We are stressing in Chili's."

"I'm just going to start violently screaming."

"Now you've become a catfish with a cause."

"Blessed be the power of bullshit."

“I love that movie. I’ve seen it one time. I love that movie.”

"Taco Bell could fist me in the ass."

#mine #rp memes #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #sentence starters #shit i heard #welcome back to surprise i'm still in college

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roselukes · 5 years

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2800 Miles - Ch 6 - l.h.

Previously

Summary: Luke knows what he wants, but he also knows he can’t have it

Tag List: @sassy-asht0n @happycrimiscalum @rosesarered516 @hoe4hemmo @heartbreakashton94 @climatehood @calumspeachy @dukehoods @holidayhood @wrappedaroundcal @mistletoemichael @plainwhiteluke @irwinkitten @hereforlukescruff @astroashtonio @catchinqcalum @irwinvalentines @hollyjollyhood @biggestslutforcalum @calumhampton @angelmikeyy @hotmessmichael @curlyhairedpopstars @meloncal @lukeschestnuts @thecashtonexpress @calsjackets @boytoynamedcalum @alyssarester @ssophisticated-simplicityy @calistajs @merryashmas

Disclaimer: plot was inspired by the app Choices’ story The Royal Romance

In the morning, Michael entered Gwen’s room earlier than she had expected. “Up and at ‘em, Gwen. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”

“Can’t I just get five more minutes?” Gwen groaned, covering her face with her pillow.

“Why are you so tired all the time?” Michael laughed and opened the curtains.

“In case you didn’t know, New York and Australia aren’t exactly in the same time zone.” Gwen rolled her eyes. “And, I’ve been up late since we got here.”

“I have seen you off to bed every night. What are you doing in here that keeps you up?” Michael asked, looking at the flowers on her nightstand. He walked over and picked up the note, reading it. “Oh, my God. You’re fucking Luke, aren’t you?”

“No!” Gwen sat up quickly. “No, Mike, no. We’re not fucking. We just had Jimmy John’s together last night. We might have made out a little, but that was it.”

“Did anyone see you? You could be disqualified from the court for this.”

“No one saw anything. His balcony is too far up for the press to get pictures.”

“How the hell did you get up there without getting seen? Did you fucking climb up the walls like Spider-Man?”

“I used a scarf. I’m pretty experienced at climbing balconies.” Gwen sighed and got up. “You know, I had to sneak in and out of the orphanage many times in my life.”

“Well, cut it out. I don’t need my sponsoree getting disqualified.” Michael crossed his arms. “Now, you need to get ready for the regatta.”

“What’s gonna happen at this regatta?” Gwen asked as she went to the closet.

“You’re gonna sail a boat and hope you win.” Michael sat down on her bed.

“What? I don’t know how to sail a boat.”

“That’s okay. Calum, Ashton, and I will be your crew. We used to go sailing with Luke all the time.”

“Okay, well, you boys better make sure I win. I don’t do well losing.” Gwen smiled and pulled off the t-shirt she slept in.

“You’re finally okay with taking your clothes off in front of me?” Michael asked, chuckling softly.

“You’re like a brother to me, you wouldn’t try anything. And, if you did, Luke would murder you.” Gwen laughed and pulled on a striped sweater.

“Yeah, you’re right. You know, Luke seems to really like you. Everyone’s already sure he’s going to pick you.” Michael smiled and laid back on her bed.

“I hope he chooses me, he’s a great kisser.” Gwen giggled and pulled on a pair of red shorts.

“Don’t get in over your head here, Gwen. You can’t base this on his physical attraction for you. You have to be able to lead a kingdom.”

“I can lead a kingdom just fine.” Gwen rolled her eyes and put on her Converse. “I was part of the student government in high school.”

“Really? What role did you play?”

“I was the one that tried to overthrow them.”

“Jesus, Gwen.” Michael laughed, rolling his eyes. “That’s the kind of thing that’s gonna turn everyone against you.”

“I’m kidding, Mike. I was treasurer.” Gwen laughed and did her makeup. “I did try to overthrow them, and that’s when they gave me the title of treasurer.”

“Whatever, you freak. Let’s get going. We don’t want to be late.”

“Will there be breakfast there?” Gwen asked.

“No, we’re gonna pick something up on the way.” Michael said, getting up.

“Taco Bell.” Gwen said as she walked down to the car.

“Yes, ma’am.” Michael rolled his eyes. When they arrived at the docks, it was only the royal family and Hattie with her crew. “We’re early? I thought we’d be late.”

“I thought we’d be late too. Especially because you order 500 things and we had to wait 20 minutes to get our food.” Gwen huffed and threw away the wrappers to her tacos.

“Hey, you guys went to Taco Bell?” Luke called from his boat.

“Gwen requested it, and naturally, I said yes.” Michael chuckled.

“You didn’t think to bring me any?” Luke pouted.

“Quit your bellyaching, Your Highness.” Gwen rolled her eyes. “There’s some in the car for you.”

“I knew you’d think of me.” Luke winked at her.

“It was Michael’s idea. I wanted to let you starve.” Gwen giggled.

“Rude.” Luke huffed and jumped onto the dock, walking over to them.

“Which boat do we get to use today?” Michael asked.

“Which one do you think?” Luke chuckled.

“Oh, no way! Calum’s gonna be so happy.” Michael laughed.

“What’s so special about the boat?” Gwen asked.

“When we were, like, 14, we went sailing for Luke and Ashton’s birthday party. We went way beyond where we should have on a little sailboat and we ended up tipping the boat. Calum thought for sure we’d all get eaten by sharks and have to reenact the Jaws movies. We were about 6 miles from the shore when Ashton first noticed the fin above the water. We all started freaking out. We thought it was a shark, you know? But, it was just a dolphin. There were, like, 6 of them and they helped us push the boat back to shore. Our boat has dolphins painted on the exterior, which we think made the dolphins help us. Calum’s been obsessed with dolphins since then.” Michael explained.

“It was a great way to spend my birthday, even though my father had a fit.” Luke chuckled.

“Sounds fun.” Gwen smiled. “Dolphins are adorable.”

“Come on, we need to get set up.” Michael smiled and lead her to the boat. Soon enough, Calum and Ashton joined them on the boat as the other suitors got their own boats ready.

“Let’s hope we don’t tip today, huh?” Ashton chuckled as he climbed aboard.

“We’re not going out far enough for that.” Calum smiled. “We should strive to make sure no one falls in. Luke’s done that on pretty much every voyage we’ve been on.”

“At least he can swim.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Hey, I can swim.” Calum pouted.

“Yeah, in three feet of water.” Ashton teased.

“You guys are bullies.” Calum pouted and walked over to the sail.

“Okay, what am I supposed to do here? I’ve never sailed a boat before.” Gwen said, looking around.

“You’re gonna tell us when the wind changes.” Michael told her. “We have to shift the sails when it does, so we need you to be sure you’re watching it.”

“I think I can manage that.” Gwen nodded.

“Good, we’re about to cast off.” Ashton said as he untied the boat from the dock. The gunshot rang from the shore and all the boats were off. Things were going smoothly, but they were behind Alyssa and her crew.

“We need to beat this bitch.” Gwen glared at Alyssa’s boat.

“Don’t worry, we will.” Ashton chuckled, helping Calum hoist the sail. Gwen held onto the side of the boat as the wind shifted.

“Wind is blowing East now.” Gwen told them.

“Thanks, Gwen.” Michael nodded to Ashton and Calum. As they began adjusting the sails, the boat made a sharp turn and the strong winds knocked Calum into the water.

“Calum!” Gwen yelled, rushing to the side of the boat. “Ashton, are the sails in place?”

“Sails are set!” Ashton yelled to her. Gwen pulled her shoes off and dove into the water, swimming over to Calum. She grabbed onto him and hoisted him onto her back so she could bring him back to the boat. She swam with him, keeping his head above the water.

“Ashton!” Gwen called out to him.

“I’m here!” Ashton said, grabbing hold of Calum’s arms to pull him onto the boat. Gwen grabbed the side of the boat and pulled herself up.

“I got him, get back to the sails.” Gwen nodded to him. Ashton nodded and ran back to his post. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Calum. Ashton pulled the sails up and their boat swiftly passed Alyssa’s, sending a wave of water into her boat. Gwen giggled a little as she turned back to Calum. “You good, Cal?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you, Gwen. You saved me.” Calum smiled at her. “No one’s ever done that for me before.”

“I’m sure they would have if you needed saving.” Gwen smiled and rubbed his arms to warm him up.

“Gwen, we need you to take Calum’s place.” Michael called down to her.

“I can’t sail a boat, Michael.” Gwen shook her head.

“Then come take my job, and I’ll help Ashton with the sails.” Gwen nodded and stood up, going over to Michael. “Just make sure the boat is steady. That’s all you have to do.”

“Okay, I can do it.” Gwen nodded and took his spot. Michael went down to Calum and hugged him.

“You need to be more careful, Hood.” Michael grabbed his face and made him look at him. “Do you know what would happen if I lost my best friend?”

“Relax, Mike. I’m fine. We’re just lucky Gwen was here.” Calum smiled. “I’m alright, don’t worry.”

“We’re very lucky we had Gwen.” Michael smiled and hugged Calum again. He then turned to Gwen. “How are things going up there?”

“Going great. I have no idea what I’m doing, but we’re moving.” Gwen giggled.

“She’s doing great.” Ashton laughed. “We’re still in the lead, so we couldn’t be better.”

“Well, keep it up. We’re almost at the finish line.” Michael grinned. Gwen nodded and kept the boat steady as Ashton worked the sails. Alyssa was quickly gaining on them, but she just wasn’t fast enough. Gwen’s boat passed the finish line mere seconds before Alyssa’s.

“Oh, my God. We won!” Gwen squealed, looking at the boys. “We did it!”

“We did it!” Ashton grinned, hugging Gwen. “I can’t believe we did it!” The four of them got off the boat and tied it to the dock.

“Congratulations, Lady Gwen. You managed to win the race while also saving a member of your crew. It’s impressive and it shows a lot about who you are.” Queen Miranda smiled.

“Thank you, ma’am.” Gwen smiled, rubbing her arms to keep warm. She was still soaking wet from jumping in to save Calum. Luke walked over to Gwen and draped his sweater over her shoulders.

“You did amazing out there.” Luke smiled, rubbing her arms.

“Thank you, Your Highness.” Gwen smiled and wrapped the sweater tighter around herself.

“Thank you for jumping in after Calum, too. It was very brave of you.” Luke hugged her gently.

“I’d do it again if he needed me to.” Gwen giggled and hugged him.

“I can’t believe she won.” Alyssa groaned. “It should’ve been her that fell in the water, not Calum. They would’ve left her behind, and I’d have won.”

“Why can’t you just be happy for her?” Hattie asked, rolling her eyes.

“Because, I was supposed to win. I had the best sailing crew there is, and she won.” Alyssa glared at her.

“Whatever, let’s just go eat.” Kira piped in, walking to the port with the other suitors.

“Will I get to spend time with you, now that I won?” Gwen asked Luke, looking up at him.

“No, I’ll be gone until the beach party tonight. We have the royal regatta as soon as the boats are ready.” Luke sighed softly. “We go out a lot farther than you guys did, so it takes us much longer.”

“Oh.” Gwen pouted. “Be safe, don’t fall out, don’t tip over.”

“I’ll be safe, I promise.” Luke smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #5sos smut #5sos imagines #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #fanfic #imagines #fanfiction #my writing #5sos writing #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin

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thetradeway · 3 years

Text

Session 39 3 Apr 2021: If we were to go and look over the balcony we would see Ahleqs doing the robot

Right, so Carl is dead and Tarragon has been brought back to life. We took a long rest at the end of last session, so she only has a -3 penalty to attacks, saves and ability checks. The penalty reduces by one each time she finishes a long rest.

We are somewhat dismayed to find Zorya on the board with us (my level 12 halfling rogue from our other campaign). Mina demands to know why she wasn’t helping us in the fight with the flesh ripper. Joe has been helping me do Roll20 stuff for a little upcoming mini campaign of mine…

We spend a few minutes waiting for the people to level up who didn’t do it last week. Sophie is delighted to get 8 more HP, and the Woundbind spell at last. She spends some time picking fun new spells!

Duncan has decided not to take a level in rogue in spite of the fact that hiding is very in character for him; “It doesn’t work for me.”

Ed is snacking and will join us in a few minutes.

Duncan doesn’t recommend eating at Taco Bell; he says they gave him a ‘bready tube wrapped around a grey paste with the occasional lump’. There follows a discussion about various instances of food poisoning which I will not document.

Sophie posts a link to a Standard story about a lamp post.

It’s all kicking off in Tetbury.

Is everyone levelled up and ready? We decide not to wait for Ed. Then we waffle until he turns up anyway.

Brother Charity has been doing some sort of ritual for Carl - he lights candles around his body and prays, then goes to bed.

Everyone but Ahleqs spots that Tarragon is now marked with a scar. (She is concussed as well, on top of her penalty for being resurrected.)

Upon waking, they all have a little poke at the stuff in the sewer. Tarragon doesn’t poke; she would prefer to keep resting for now. Kessler makes a check with her Alchemist tools, and with an 18 she retrieves some teeth and spines from the flesh-ripper, and immediately gives them to Gideon.

Gideon thinks it might be a good idea to bring some of the flesh-ripper with us, to feed the Otyugh that attacked us on the way down here. There is some discussion of perhaps finding a way to use bits of the corpse to sort out the Mirt problem as well. (Put one of the heads in his bed…?)

We move on and find ourselves in a different part of the sewer. To our surprise, Brother Carl joins us. But - he was dead…? Ahleqs pokes him a bit. He feels squishy like a real human body…

It’s wet here and we hear the sound of frogs. Kessler decides to hold out some rations to them. She sees that the pond they are in is full of frogspawn. Do they get territorial when spawning…?

Kessler rolls a nat 1 nature check and decides to press ahead with offering the rations. Kessler the Frog Whisperer rolls 11 Animal Handling and manages to piss it off.

The frog tries to bite her, but misses - we roll initiative. Gideon thinks maybe we should turn back and try another way; these frogs are a bit bitey.

Melaina goes first. She tries a spell and casts Sleep on the aggressive frog. (With her Sharpshooter active. Gideon: “You’re trying to put it to sleep - permanently!”) It doesn’t work as the frog has too many HP. Bugger.

Gideon has a go - he’s not sure what he wants to do. He proposes that we turn around and try another route. What about Kessler? “She can back away too! Let’s just wish them a good day and leave.”

Carl looks at Gideon who is backing away, and holds an action.

Tarragon backs up and takes the dodge action; we are the intruders here, let’s leave these guys alone.

If Ahleqs had Prestidigitation he could change Kessler’s flavour to make her taste horrible to the frogs. “She’s already quite bitter… I’ve been waiting to make that joke since the start of combat, I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

He makes an Insight check; he thinks that if he was in his bedroom with his choice of night time companion and someone burst in, with snacks or otherwise, he’d probably be quite cross. He too thinks we should back up and leave. He readies a spell just in case - he plumps for Minor Illusion.

Kessler is up. She uses Nimble Escape to Disengage as a bonus action. For her action she throws the rations she was holding for the angry frog. She would throw Gideon too if she could, he’d make a good snack for some frogs.

Ahleqs: “Are you saying Gideon is a snack? I ship it.”

Brother Charity holds an action to defend Carl, should the frog advance.

Melaina backs up and holds an action in case the frog gets nasty. We are all now backing up away from the frogs.

Ahleqs rolls Animal Handling as he has +3, and Kessler adds her Flash of Genius INT modifier as a reaction - but he rolls a nat 1. He can re-roll that if he Bends Luck - oh, no he can’t. DM ruling? He rolls again - and it’s another nat 1. He insults their frogspawn.

He manages to lead us back away from the frogs and back to the sewer. Are we still trusting Kessler with the map? Apparently so. She makes an INT check and rolls a 9. “We’re gonna be down here for a while guys.”

Ahelqs: “That’s okay, we’re getting all the side quests out of the way.”

There’s an awful lot of buggering about. Ed: “We starve to death in the sewer. Good session guys.”

No, Kessler finally finds her sewer legs and rolls at advantage like she should have been doing this whole time, and we find our way back to the Dagger. Shanks is waiting for us. She looks at us, covered in gore, and asks how it went; we don’t want to talk about it.

We’ve been gone two or three days. Is it dead?

We show her the giblets. “Yeah.”

Shanks points. “What’s that horrible thing with all the icky stuff coming out of it?”

Kessler: “That’s Gideon.”

Shanks asks what the flesh-ripper actually was. We make nature checks (Duncan makes a beer check first: “Ah, natural twenty.”) Gideon and Melaina saw how the flesh-ripper regenerated when we didn’t hit it with fire, so they tell her it was probably some kind of horribly deformed troll.

Shanks says that since it’s dead and the area is safe now, she and her people will look at fixing the place up. Gideon mentions the Otyugh; perhaps it will make a good guard monster? Just be sure to take a pork chop with you when you go down. And watch your toes.

Shanks says she will alert the scouts to its nature and position.

We can go back up into the Dagger for baths and food and alcohol.

Brother Charity has a proposition - he wrote to Mirt to invite him to dinner to discuss the issue with the spell (where he Charmed Mirt to make him stop asking about the unicorn statue and go away). There is a lot of waffle, everyone is talking at once so I don’t hear the end of Matthew’s proposition.

Before we head upstairs, Charity says that Mirt may have misinterpreted the letter and be waiting upstairs for us. Rather than land us all in it, (he did try to focus the blame on himself) he wants to go up with Carl while we wait down here and see if Mirt is in the Dagger. We could escape…?

Tarragon rolls a nat20 Insight check on Brother “Dodgy” Charity. She is extremely distrustful of Charity now. Gideon suggests just going with him anyway, but Tarragon pipes up to say she thinks we should let him go.

Is he going to sneak up? No, he and Carl intend to just waltz on in. We decide to stay put but send Melaina to eavesdrop. She rolls a nat 1 Stealth for 11 total. Kessler adds Flash of Genius again to make the just-fail a success.

Charity and Carl ascend the ladder, unaware that Melaina is following.

Charity and Carl meet up with Cass, who is in the cellar of the Dagger. He asks if the letter got to Mirt. She says yes it did. He rolls 11 Insight; she seems to be telling the truth.

She asks about the rest of us - he says she should go and say hi, and heads on up into the Dagger proper with Carl in tow.

Now that they’re gone, Tarragon has a word with the others and tells them what she knows about Charity’s magic - he’s not casting Divine magic like a Cleric or a Paladin should. We all agree that we don’t trust him as far as we could spit a rat, and none of us are sure exactly what Carl is.

Did he feel warm when Ahleqs poked him? Hard to tell through the robes, but he felt… human-y.

Kessler suggests maybe casting some healing magic on Carl. What would that do if he was undead…?

Or we could just sneak under the table and set his robe on fire. We start to scheme a plan to try and find out what Carl is, and maybe somehow to smoke Brother Charity out. And what sort of name is ‘Ardvack Darkspire’, anyway?

So we just kill him, yeah? Can’t be too careful.

Cass enters the cellar, asks us where we’ve been and why we stink.

Tarragon, proudly: “I died.”

We go up into the Dagger, where Cass has prepared hot baths and food for us. Ahleqs skims the chunks of gore off the top of his bathwater. (Ed suggests ‘the Wayfarers’ Colander’ as a purchasable item.)

Popcorn rushes in while Tarragon is in the bath, delighted to see her. She picks him up and puts him in with her and they splash about happily for a while.

The Brothers have Prestidigitationed, so they are in the taproom waiting for food at our usual table. Mirt didn’t send a reply to Charity’s letter; he considers going to pay him a visit.

The rest of us arrive at our table. Kessler decides to cast Identify on Carl while Ahleqs distracts Brother Charity.

The door to the Dagger blows open - a swarm of folded paper cranes sweep in. One lands in each of our hands. When we unfold them, they are revealed as invitations to dinner, signed -M.

Mirt, presumably.

Kessler goes ahead with her Identify spell in spite of the odd interruption. DM asks Matthew what the result is of the Identify spell; Mina puts it in the chat for him to read.

Carl does not require attunement, but Matthew thinks Kessler ought to have bought him dinner first, Jesus. The spell takes a minute to cast, is she really going to spend a whole minute touching Carl? She only needs a foot touching his under the table. (Duncan can hear Matthew looking for a loophole.)

Does Carl notice the spell being cast on him? She rolls Stealth vs. Carl’s Passive Perception - a 9. What is Carl’s PP?

Ah.

Joe would normally rule that Carl notices, in this case. But all she has to do is hold on to him for one minute…

There follows something of a scuffle. Carl tries to bat her hand away but she tells him there’s a splinter in his leg that she was trying to get out for him. Ahleqs casts a Minor Illusion of a scorpion on Carl’s leg, giving her ADV on her Deception check. Carl rolls Insight - “He’s the tits at this - ” but rolls a 3. He believes she is trying to swat the scorpion off his leg.

Charity makes a Perception check to see if he notices what’s going on - he rolls an 8, so he does not. He defends himself against Ahleqs’ accusations of abandoning us in the cellar. He sent Cass down to get us! He was just checking to see if Mirt was here!

Ahleqs: “Be more of a team player.”

Ahleqs asks him outright what Carl is; Charity tells him he’s his travelling companion. An odd and evasive answer.

Ahleqs says Charity hasn’t been especially forthcoming about who he is and what he’s doing. Charity says we weren’t especially welcoming.

Ahleqs: “We’re not charming, but at least we’re honest! We were just starting to come around to the idea of them! Yes they’re mysterious and shady and what the fuck is Carl, but - ”

And so on, while Kessler casts her spell. She knows what spells if any are currently affecting Carl - Matthew texts something to Mina. Upon reading this, Kessler backs away and runs straight for her armour and climbs inside, locking all the hatches and arming both the Lightning Launchers.

Oh fuck…!

Gideon asks what’s going on, and gives Charity a bit of a side eye.

The doors open again and a smartly dressed man comes in with a bundle in his arms. He sees us and approaches, ignoring the squabble above the table and the scuffle below it. “Formal wear for this evening.” He places the bundle on the table and leaves.

Ahleqs asks about his family name; Charity says his family used to own a manor house with a large dark spire. Nothing untoward.

If Ahleqs were to ask around the surrounding villages…? What would the inhabitants think? We don’t mind that he’s a horrid privileged posh boy, but is he raising corpses to do his fell bidding is what we’re really asking here. (He, I notice, doesn’t actually answer that question.)

Gideon puts his oar in. We all know what one another’s angle is, but none of us know what Charity and Carl are after. If Charity is unsure about our back stories, we can fill him in if he wants…? Ahleqs explains about Mr. Pickles, and about how sometimes he accidentally incinerates his friends, in hopes that Charity will feel inclined to share in kind.

Gideon looks out of the window to try to gauge the time; we have a dinner to get to. We need to know that Charity is on our side, at least as far as this evening.

With that, Charity divulges that it had been his intention not to drag all of us into this. He thinks his scheme might not be the most inappropriate.

What scheme?

He says he told Mirt that the rest of us couldn’t work out how to remove the statue from the maze, and was going to tell him that he had gone back and taken it afterwards without the knowledge of the rest of us. He was going to ask why Mirt wanted it and if he was aware of its true nature, and perhaps play on his emotions. (Melaina thinks that’s a stupid plan.)

Kessler re-joins us and engages sitting mode on her armour, giving Brother Charity the stink-eye.

We open the parcels - they contain fine silken evening wear. Dresses and smart suits. Kessler casts Identify again, but the only magic is traces of Prestidigitation. Tarragon’s is green, just like she’d been hoping. Kessler’s is a steel blue grey.

Kessler pulls Carl aside, and asks him if he knows that he’s dead.

Carl’s hood looks at her, and then he wanders off, following Brother Charity upstairs.

Tarragon and Ahleqs are changing into their evening wear in the bar, not having much in the way of experience with social niceties in the Big City. Kessler averts her eyes and tells us what she found out - Carl is animated dead. What kind of level 7 Cleric can do that???

Is he recently animated after the flesh-ripper killed him, or was he dead all along? How many Carls have there been?

Gideon is unbothered; necromancy might be frowned upon in polite society, but it’s just another branch of magic.

We decide that if we’re going to do anything about Carl and Charity, it will have to wait until after this evening.

The sun goes down; there is a knock at the door to the Dagger. The bar staff have been watching us with amusement and interest. A man enters the bar and tells us that our carriage awaits. Charity has left his weapons in his room - we all immediately tell him how dumb that is. Tarragon gives Ahleqs her quarterstaff to put in the Bag of Holding. All Charity has are some rings, a doctor’s bag and a book; no weapons. He’s even leaving Carl behind.

We follow the man out to the carriage and he opens the door. Ahleqs wants to know if there’s a minibar; there is not. He takes a level in disappointment.

We pile into the carriage. Are the seats comfortable? Exquisitely so. Gideon, delighted: “Ohhh!”

Ahleqs is still wondering why Charity has left his weapons behind; he announces that we do not die this day, but he does it while shaking so it’s less than convincing.

The carriage starts to move. The driver asks if we’re familiar with the Silken Sylph? No, not really. Kessler has seen the outside of it. It’s in the sea ward, and about the fanciest place in the city. It’s well out of all of our price ranges.

We’re told by the driver that it’s a great privilege to be invited, and high society etiquette is in effect. We have no idea what that is. Is there a pamphlet?

The journey is smooth and delightful, and takes us past loads of fancy mansions. We go through the sea ward and approach a huge building with marble and gold trim. The door to the carriage is opened for us and we find ourselves outside the Silken Sylph.

There are two fashionably dressed doormen who are clearly armed. They smile at us and ask our names. We give them, and Ahleqs holds out the origami bird invitation as proof that no, really, we’re supposed to be here. We’re kind of a big deal or something? Gideon nudges him and reminds him about the etiquette. Ahleqs hushes himself.

The door is opened and a noblewoman greets us and tells us to follow her. Charity does a bow. Ahleqs copies but too late, and has to scurry to catch the rest of us up.

The ballroom is like something out of a book. Most people are wearing wigs and expressions of disdain upon seeing us. Our finery is just as grand, but we are super out of place in it. Ahleqs is nervously smiling and waving. We make Perception checks and Kessler tries reading some lips.

A noblewoman passes us by with an expression of not at all concealed disgust. “Eurgh, a pig in knickers!” she says, looking at Kessler who has, it is assumed, found a way to put on her dress over her armour. Melaina, Gideon and Tarragon all hear that, but Kessler, fortunately, didn’t.

Wait - we know that some nobles like to make bets about adventurers in Blue Alley, and the outcomes of their forays into it. Has Mirt lost a bunch of money by betting against us? Is that why we’re here?

We are led past the dance floor up a flight of marble stairs to a posh dining area. Seated at the top of a large table is an equally large something that I miss because everyone is talking over Joe. We are seated, and Mirt greets Charity. He tells us to help ourselves to wine. Kessler pointedly declines everything, up to and including things she hasn’t been offered yet.

Let’s talk while we wait for dinner, Mirt suggests. Time was that an education from Candlekeep carried prestige, he goes on, looking directly at Brother Charity. Apparently the monks couldn’t teach Charity the most basic of manners.

Kessler outright states that we know about the necromancy; Brother Charity side eyes but otherwise doesn’t acknowledge. Mirt slides a piece of paper across the table - we recognise the handwriting.

Mirt

I hope this letter finds you well. I expect you are wondering why I am writing to you. Well first off I would like to express how disappointed I am in you! I expected a certain level of dishonesty from a man such as your self, but did you really think such a deception would go unnoticed? Shocking!!!

Personally I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for my actions when last we met but I think you’ll agree you left me very little choice. I mean by the gods man! I thought you used to be a rogue!! Never have I witnessed such indiscretion!!! Prattling away about such a transaction in the middle of a busy tavern with the world and his wife in earshot!!! Outrageous!!!!!

I digress, to business. Unfortunately for you those imbeciles were being truthful when they said they were unable to extract the statue. Honestly I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry at the time. It was like watching a one legged cat trying to bury excrement on a frozen pond. As luck would have it I was separated from the group for a while giving me the opportunity to return to the location of the statue, whereupon I removed it with ease. And what should I discover upon its removal? Well I think you know the answer to that Lord Walrus!!!

I hereby formally reject you offer of 250 gp in exchange for the “statue”. If you are seriously interested in acquiring said sculpture I recommend you consider an offer more befitting such a wondrous artefact.

I regret to inform you I will be away on business for the next few days or so. I will send word to you upon my return, whereupon you will book a table for two (in your name) at the Silken Sylph for that same evening. As is customary, as the potential purchaser you will pay for dinner and drinks. After we have dined and supped you will present your offer for my consideration.

Know that I have several other interested parties seeking to secure the “statue” for their own interests so I recommend you provide a compelling argument for my considering your offer.

I realise you may have some trouble coming to terms with the idea of trusting me. I will offer some reassurances nonetheless. I will arrive at the Silken Sylph unaccompanied and unarmed. You are of course, entitled to bring all the muscle you see fit provided they do not draw undue attention to our meeting. I will willingly submit to a search of my person by one of your men (to be selected by me) to provide proof that I am unarmed and lacking the holy symbol I require for the casting of spells.

If these terms are agreeable to you please leave word at the dripping dagger stating your acceptance and I will contact you by the method stipulated earlier in this correspondence.

Kind regards

B.C.

P.S. Please try to exercise a little more discretion this time.

It is the letter Charity wrote to Mirt before we went after the flesh-ripper. Mirt says that this could easily be interpreted as blackmail; especially since it’s addressed to a Lord of Waterdeep. Ohhhhh, we are in deep shit.

He says there have been crossed wires. Did we or did we not retrieve the statue?

Yes. We did.

“Where is it now?”

We don’t have it. Ahleqs explains that it was a real unicorn. Mirt knew that though, didn’t he?

He says he didn’t.

Ahleqs makes a persuasion check with Guidance to persuade Mirt that there really was a real unicorn in the statue; it’s a success.

Why didn’t we just tell him? Mirt asks. What did we think he would do?

Charity abandons all attempts at etiquette and says he thought Mirt would want to either eat it or fuck it, so we were reluctant to just hand it over. He is picking his nails with a soup spoon as he speaks.

All of us but Kessler notice that Mirt is relaxed and open. The other diners are looking at our table with disdain.

Had Mirt been aware of the real unicorn he would have released it, he says. He doesn’t understand why we didn’t tell him. Ahleqs says he was very frightened. Kessler rolls Insight to see if Mirt is telling the truth; a 12. She thinks he is.

This is all just a big misunderstanding. Thanks for dinner though. Ahleqs wants to go and have a little dance, but Mirt says we’re not done here yet.

We tell him we had something of a moral crisis, believing that he knew about the real unicorn and planned something awful for it, such as continued imprisonment. He seems to believe this. It’s sort of true.

He says he used to be an adventurer himself (until he took an arrow in the knee, yes yes, very funny) and says that we might not want this buffoon (Brother Charity) as the face of our party. We weren’t sure about him either, we tell Mirt. He’s a new hire.

Does our group have a name? Mirt asks.

Melaina: “Wee Jock and the Jockettes.” (Somewhere, Shokan flies into a rage.)

Ahleqs: “Popcorn’s Players.”

We might get more business if we get a name, and sort out the ‘rogue elements’ in our group, Mirt tells us. Would we like an opportunity to redeem ourselves?

What sort of opportunity, Tarragon wants to know?

Are we familiar with the Harpers, Mirt asks? We roll History checks, Ed bosses his with a nat 20. Charity and Gideon explain that it’s an old organisation. They operate in shadow for the safety and betterment of realm, and work to keep magical items out of the hands of evil doers. Not dissimilar to the Emerald Enclave.

So what about them?

Mirt says he is an agent of theirs for the city of Waterdeep. We could work with them; there might be benefits for us as well.

Why should we, Melaina wants to know? She doesn’t care what Mirt thinks of us. She stares grumpily at her frock.

What sort of redemption did Mirt have in mind? Ahleqs asks.

Did the rest of us want to go and amuse ourselves? It’s really only Charity that he thinks needs to redeem himself, Mirt clarifies. He thinks Charity has hoodwinked the rest of us and is disreputable and underhanded.

Do Mirt and Charity know each other? Not personally, but he is well connected and knows Charity’s family. And also our dress sizes, for some reason.

Ahleqs turns to Charity. “Well?”

Ahleqs wants to know how deep this goes. Does Charity want our help? Charity says he will hear Mirt out if we want to go off and dance or whatever.

Tarragon and Gideon stick around, but the others go off to the bar and the dance floor.

Ahleqs goes to the ballroom where the formal dancing is. He does that special curtsy thing and hold his hand out. He’s just imitating the people he’s seeing, he has no idea what he’s doing. He approaches the closest person. There’s a fair amount of low level panic going on as he moves. He makes an Investigation check - a nat 1.

All he sees is a bunch of fancy people with big hair milling around. He just sort of tries to blend in, forgetting that you’re supposed to start with a partner. He makes a Performance check and rolls a 19! DM is impressed.

Upstairs, we hear a murmur from the ballroom. If we were to go and look over the balcony we would see Ahleqs doing the robot, but for some reason it’s going down really well with the surrounding nobles.

Kessler decides to go back to the Dagger; the doormen bow as she leaves. She checks to see if anyone is staring and puts her helmet into place. She’s going to find Brother Carl.

(Us, immediately: “oooooooooo!”)

Melaina, annoyed by the whole situation, goes to the bar. Having seen her descend from the dining area, the staff won’t charge her for drinks. A lot of them are silly, over the top, stuff floating around in them, but hey it’s free. She proceeds to go to town on the free booze.

Mirt asks again if Charity is open to redeeming himself - since he’s back from Candlekeep he will presumably be a fixture in the city.

Charity meant to ask - since Mirt mentioned his family, he asks about the manor house and the tower. What happened to them?

Mirt looks at him, then at Tarragon who is still sitting at the table, legs swinging from her chair.

Is he sure that he wants to discuss this here, Mirt asks Charity.

He follows Mirt’s gaze to look at Tarragon with a sneer. “You’re quite right. Another time then.”

Tarragon, suddenly suffering from emotional whiplash: “You bastard! I will throw down right here, don’t think for a second I won’t go Bear and end you!”

Charity ignores her and agrees to work with Mirt. Mirt slides a case across the table - Charity accepts it, maintaining eye contact. He investigates the box.

Inside is an enamelled pin with a design of a harp inside a crescent moon. It’s the emblem of the order, Mirt tells him. He will contact Charity in next few days with the details of the job, in the same manner as invitation. Do well and Mirt will let the misunderstanding with the unicorn go.

Tarragon gets up, throws her drink at Charity and leaves, just as waiters arrive with Charity’s food.

Ahleqs makes another Performance check - a 12. He will spend as many sorcery points as it takes, Duncan tells us. Some of the nobles are looking curious, now. (He’s circling back from hip and groovy to looking like a dickhead.)

(I tried to find a gif or video of that bit of the show, but to no avail sadly.)

He gets up from doing the worm and gives the finger pistols, walks to the beat toward the bar. He makes a final performance check - a 22! Nails the landing. There is a round of applause from the nobles. He follows up the finger pistols with a polite curtsy and leaves.

Kessler arrives back at the Dagger, which is heaving. She goes to Charity’s room to see what Carl is doing; he’s sitting with a book in his lap. She calls his name - he looks up. She asks her to help him out of her dress. (oo-er. Romance dialogue!)

Brother Carl tilts his head to one side, seeming confused, then tears the dress off her in one gauntleted hand and goes back to his book. Kessler takes the dress and throws it at him. “You can keep that.”

(This is very bewildering.)

While he’s struggling with the dress, she goes for the hood and pulls it down.

She sees a gaunt looking face with red hair and red beard, sunken eyes, drawn cheeks. She makes a Investigation check (or an against-nature check) to see if she knows how long he’s been dead - a 9. He is not decomposing naturally so it’s hard to tell.

Carl looks at her, touches his face. He almost looks a little bit sad and perhaps a touch disappointed in her, and pulls his hood back up. She offers to lay him to rest. Carl shakes his head fervently.

She asks why Charity is animating him? Can he write that down? He does know languages…

“Ardvack saved me.” Carl writes on the wall in charcoal, and will not engage further.

Carl’s book is in gnomish - Kessler memorises and writes down what she can see of it to ask Tarragon later, and Joe calls it there. Presumably because he now has to go and write two pages of a random book, in gnomish.

#thetradeway #campaign diary #dnd

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purple-spring · 7 years

Text

Tomorrow - a SH fanfic

Author’s Note: This is my first SH fic and I have absolutely loved writing it. While I know that RPF is controversial for some, this was a piece I wanted to write to speculate on how SH began. This is obviously purely a work of fiction, and no offense is intended. Inspired by the following songs: “FOOLS” (Troye Sivan), “Television Romance” (Pale Waves) and “Can We Work It Out” (Gordi). A huuuuuuge thank you to @jandjsalmon and @theladylabyrinth for all their feedback and encouragement!

Summary: Lili and Cole are friends. Really good friends. So what happens when she wakes up next to him on a couch?

“What would it be like to let him in, to let herself love him? What would it be like to take a chance, to abandon her fears and leap freely into the unknown?”

Fic after the cut. Enjoy! And I love love love feedback, so leave me some love in my asks; hate will be blocked and deleted!

What came first was the warmth. A languid, pleasant warmth that reminded her of… of what? Of Christmas morning, she thought, with a sleepy smile. The gentle anticipation. The feeling of being home.

The second thing was her neck. It hurt. It rested awkwardly not on her own pillow but on the flat, firm surface of a couch that was definitely not her bed. She forced her eyes open and squinted against the bright California sun streaming in through the balcony.

Debby’s balcony. She was at Debby’s place. On Debby’s couch. Fuck. Guess I didn’t make it home last night.

She blinked slowly, attempting to rouse from her groggy haze. She’d overslept. Usually she was up by this time, but a few late nights in a row must have thrown her body off its normal cycle. But despite that, and despite the pain in her neck, she realized that she hadn’t actually slept this well in ages – a deep, dreamless slumber snuggled underneath a giant blanket. Maybe that’s why I feel warmer than usual.

Her neck really was killing her, though. She turned slightly to try and crack it, but was startled by something - someone - shifting behind her. An arm tightening protectively around her waist. A hand half-curled underneath her t-shirt, grazing her bare stomach. A sleepy groan mumbled into her hair. And, most tellingly, the faint scent of a familiar cologne cut by the slight undertone of cigarette smoke.

No.

She suddenly remembered.

Cole.

FUCK.

Her stomach dropped. Cole was spooning her. She had fallen asleep with Cole.

If she could have, she would’ve screamed. But she didn’t want to wake him and face the awkwardness of the situation, so she settled for gritting her teeth and shutting her eyes as tightly as she could, until she saw stars. A thousand thoughts streamed through her mind.

Is Debby awake? SHIT SHIT SHIT. HAS DEBBY ALREADY SEEN US?

I should go. Yup. Definitely need to go.

Okay, Lili. Focus. We can do this. But we need a plan.

Maybe I can sneak into the kitchen, make myself a coffee and pretend that nothing happened once he wakes up.

No. He’s not that gullible. He’ll know.

Okay, how about I pretend to fall out and then we can just laugh about it after? Then it’ll all just be a stupid joke, no harm done! Right? Haha.

Oh, god. Fuck. This is the worst. I’m just gonna go home. Screw it if he wakes up. I am not equipped for this.

Then, in the midst of all the rambling, a traitorous thought.

Or I could stay.

Her breath hitched at the audacity of the suggestion. She shut her eyes against it. No. No. We’ve been through this, Lili.

She felt her throat tightening, eyes threatening to brim over with tears. Images flashed through her head of the torture she had subjected herself to these past few months - letting herself fall for him and then battling, resisting, attempting to undo everything she felt for him.

Because this was all just so typical. Here, lying down next to each other, without any certainty of what they actually were… it was classic Cole and Lili. Affection without definition. Entanglement without clarity.

She sighed. A sigh that she felt all the way down to her bones.

How did we get here, Cole?

…

The immediate, short-term answer to the question was fairly simple.

Debby, Cole’s friend, former co-star and temporary roommate, had texted her the night before with an invitation to come over for dinner. “Cole’s still out of town so I’m getting the girls together for dinner. You down?” With nothing but ketchup and a bag of frozen peas sitting in her fridge, and with no other plans than hitting up her beloved Taco Bell again, she quickly replied with a grateful “yes”.

Lili had become fast friends with Debby since Cole introduced them to each other. Debby was lovely, down-to-earth and, in all honesty, not at all what she’d expected. If she’d been a psychologist or an anthropologist, Lili would have loved to have analysed both Debby and Cole as outlier case studies for the Disney child star phenomenon. They were both smart, worldly, kind and well-adjusted – totally opposite to the cliché of the bitter, washed-up, cynical ex-Disney kid (although she just knew that Cole would probably pipe up at this and say that he was bitter, washed-up and cynical. And then she’d have to roll her eyes and give him real-life examples of why he wasn’t any of those things. And in the middle of passionately enumerating ways in which he wasn’t bitter, he’d stare at her and say, “Okay, relax, Dr. Phil. I was kidding.”)

Lili hadn’t realized that being friends with Debby, well before anyone else on the cast had even met her, was somewhat significant, until she mentioned it in passing to Madelaine over lunch.

“Wait,” the redhead said in between sips of her smoothie. “So you’ve met Debby? Debby Ryan?”

“Um, yeah. Haven’t you?” While it was true that Cole and Lili had been cast first and had been acquainted since February, the rest of the Riverdale gang were becoming closer and were starting to mingle within each other’s circles.

“No. I mean, I’ve come across Debby at a few parties, but unless you count smiling at her awkwardly while re-applying mascara in the bathroom, then no, I haven’t actually met her.”

“Oh.”

“And I certainly haven’t had Cole introduce me to her.” Madelaine looked at her pointedly.

Huh. That was odd. But of course she’d met Debby. Cole was living with her while he was in LA. And Lili had assumed…

Well, what? That Cole brought all of his gal pals over to his place and got them to hang out regularly with one of his best friends? That this was just a normal occurrence for anyone within his circle?

Yeah, kind of?

She was startled to realize that this wasn’t true. Madelaine had a point - she was the only one. She’d even met Dylan, too. To the outside eye, that was… something. But he happened to be in town, she reasoned. And Cole and I had plans to hang out anyway, so…

“Lils, you there?”

Lili snapped back to attention and quickly changed the subject to cover up her thoughts. She brought up their plans to go bike-riding in Vancouver. In no time, Madelaine was distracted, chattering excitedly in between using her phone to find the best bike rides in the city. Lili contributed to the conversation whenever she had to, but her mind was somewhere else. The rest of that lunch – and every day since then, really – she couldn’t shake off that mild revelation that what she and Cole had wasn’t quite the same as what everyone else did.

…

How did we get here, Cole? Now, the long answer. This was more complicated.

What did she feel for him, anyway? ‘Like’ and ‘love’ were simplistic, overused terms. Of course she liked him. They were way beyond that. Did she love him? She wasn’t sure. This was why she rejected those terms to begin with – they were too vague, too general. They didn’t describe the way she felt whenever she was with him, or away from him.

If she could distil it to its essence, she’d say that she and Cole fit, in a way that calmed and exhilarated her in equal measure. It was easy being friends with him. That part came naturally to Lili. Like laughing at a really good punchline, or breathing in oxygen after being underwater for too long. They knew each other uncannily. They laughed at the same jokes and finished each other’s sentences. She told him once that he challenged her views on reincarnation because surely they’d met in a past life. Soon it became a running joke between them. He even created an entire fictional universe about their past lives as otters living along the Nile River (“That… is so random, Cole.” “Well you try studying archaeology for four years and not having Egypt in your subconscious. Shut up and let me have my otter dream.”)

But then there was also… him. She’d be lying if she said that she didn’t find him objectively attractive. It was disarming, to say the least, even though it lay underneath the rumpled clothes he insisted on wearing, which she didn’t mind. If anything, while his brother and his friends teased him by observing a strict roll call for his small roster of shirts (“It’s Tuesday, Cole, how come you’re wearing the Friday Orange?”), she found it endearing, and it drew her in and intrigued her. He was like a prince in exile, determined to downplay any part of him that referenced his darkly glittering childhood. But that face – the keen, blue stare, the mischievous mouth, the constellation of freckles – could not have been more at odds with the concealment. It was a face that was going to stand out no matter what.

So it was that Lili found herself veering between appreciating their easy friendship and then looking up and realizing that the goofball who was making her laugh was also the same man who could make her heart stop in its tracks.

And he wasn’t helping, either. Sure, there were times when she she felt like nothing more than a pal. Like when he’d throw fries at her head. Or FaceTime her at 3 in the morning to show her a cat he’d come across during a shoot (“Very nice, Cole. Now fuck off,” she had said while he cackled at her groggy face dotted with pimple cream. “IT’S NOT LIKE I WAS PLANNING ON SEEING ANYONE, my god, go away”).

But then, there were other times that made her wonder. Like that time when she mentioned that she’d damaged the original lens on her camera, and woke up one morning to a package on her table containing a newer, much better one, attached with a note simply scribbled “For future adventures -C.” And all the times – she couldn’t have just imagined them, there were too many – she’d catch him staring just a fraction longer, with a small smile playing on his lips.

Those were the times when she’d let her guard down, let herself imagine. What would it be like to let him in, to let herself love him? What would it be like to take a chance, to abandon her fears and leap freely into the unknown?

It didn’t matter, anyway. Because the more these feelings took root in her heart, the more she felt and fretted at the weight of the year ahead. With Riverdale getting the green light for a full season after a successful pilot, they were going to be filming full-time as co-workers. This was her big break; this was his return to the spotlight. There was a lot at stake for both of them, and there simply was no room for this foolishness. She couldn’t risk it. She was just going to have to shut it down and get over it somehow.

For herself. And for him, too.

…

For dinner, Debby had somehow managed to concoct a delicious compromise between her healthy eating habits and Lili’s more decidedly low-brow tastes (“Fish tacos!” Lili had exclaimed. “Deb, this is like if you and I got married and had taco babies”). The night was fun and light, and Lili found that she was enjoying herself more than she had all week.

That was until they heard the front door open and a large bag dropping onto the floor.

“Hey, I was gonna yell, ‘anyone home’, but I think the answer’s fairly obvious.”

Cole made his way into the dining room and they all burst into surprised elation.

Except Lili. She felt like throwing up. Well, fuck. She’d been studiously avoiding him – his texts, his calls, his social media – and now there was barely half a room between them. Right before he left, she had sworn to herself that she couldn’t do this anymore, this complicated dance of intense closeness and uncertain labels that only she seemed to be aware of. So she decided that she was going to use his absence productively, to take some space away from him. Out of sight, out of mind, she reasoned. And hopefully out of heart. The first few days were pure torture, but after managing to keep herself busy and out of the house, she was doing well.

Not anymore. Now, seeing his face, his shirt rumpled from travel, she was falling apart.

Debby got up and gave him a quick hug before looking for an extra plate. “Cole Mitchell. I thought you weren’t gonna be home until Friday?”

“Yeah, shoot wrapped up early. We got most of what we wanted on the first day, and one of the models who was scheduled for a later day managed to free up some time.” He looked around the room and spotted her. His face registered shock, and her heart ached as she watched him trying to contain it. “Hey, Lili.”

Fuck. He knew. Of course he knew she was avoiding him. She heard it in those two words, the measured casualness of his voice, the way he said her full name – Lili – unlike everyone else who shortened or lengthened it to Lils or Lilipad or Lilibeth. And fuck him because he just knew how to play it, how to say those two words so that she’d pay attention to what he was trying to say. Hey, you. Where’ve you been?

“Hey, Cole.”

The room tensed momentarily as everyone caught on to the odd coldness between the two. This was, after all, Cole and Lili. Cole, who knew exactly how she took her coffee. Lili, who’d freely walk into Cole’s bedroom to drag his blanket off his bed whenever she was cold.

Debby cut through the awkwardness. “Uh, Cole, you wanted dinner, right?”

“Yep.” After another significant look, Cole made his way into the kitchen. Lili wanted to sink into the floor. When he came back with his plate, he sat well away from her and started a conversation with someone else. She wanted to leave, but she knew that that was only going to attract attention after their little moment. So she resolved to stay and grit her teeth through it, figuring she’d make her escape once everyone left.

She really should’ve known. She should’ve predicted that Cole knew her too well, was far too ingenious to just let her go. They had already started putting everything away when he piped up. “I feel like watching a movie tonight, guys,” he said. “Anyone up for a Baz Luhrmann movie marathon? Strictly Ballroom? Romeo and Juliet?” He caught her eye. “Moulin Rouge?”

You little shit. She wanted to throttle him. Not only did he know it was her favourite film, he knew that Debby knew it, too. And there was no way she was going to get the opportunity to beg off the night without seeming rude.

Debby lit up. “Oh my god, yes. We haven’t done that in ages. Lil! Weren’t you saying you hadn’t seen that in months?”

Lili looked wearily at Cole. He looked right back at her, a shit-eating grin on his face. I win. She couldn’t help it. She burst into laughter. He did, too.

“Fine,” she said, settling into the couch. “But we’re skipping Strictly Ballroom and getting straight into some classic old-school DiCaprio.”

Cole settled right next to her. With his forelock falling carelessly across his face, a roguish look in his eyes, of course he had to be the very image of Leo himself. Calm down.

He smiled. Her heart stuttered. “Fine by me.”

…

Lili waited for Cole to snark her about ghosting him. He didn’t. If anything, he seemed determinedly normal, whispering random commentary throughout the movie that made her laugh. She wanted to be annoyed. After all, it had taken considerable effort to ignore him all week. But being with him again - talking to him, trading barbs and banter - was like crawling toward sunlight after languishing in the dark.

After Romeo and Juliet finished, Debby’s friends decided to call it a night. Lili got up and stretched. Cole smiled lazily up at her. “Hey, you,” he said. There was something strange about him.

“Hey, yourself,” Lili replied. “You’re in a funny mood.”

“Yeah? What mood am I in?”

“I don’t know, you’re just being weird.”

Cole smirked in reply and shrugged. “You’re staying for Moulin Rouge, right?”

Lili hesitated. She was starting to feel a little tired. “I… don’t know.”

“Oh, come oooonnn. I’m a little jetlagged and buzzed and could probably do with some company, to be honest.”

“You have Debby.”

“Yeah, but Debby’s boring.”

Debby poked her head in from the kitchen. “I heard that!”

“I meant for you to!” Cole quickly ducked as Debby threw a bag of chips at him, then turned to Lili. “See what I have to put up with? You have to stay. Please.”

“Just stay, Lil!” Debby called out. “I’ll whip up some fresh guac for the chips and bring out some chocolate as well.”

Lili sighed and turned to Cole. “Can you at least promise to drive me home if I get too sleepy?”

“I promise.”

What choice did she have? This was Moulin Rouge and Cole. “Alright, you big baby,” she said, laughing at his puppy dog eyes. “I’ll stay.”

…

Moulin Rouge was Lili’s favourite movie and an absolute assault on the sense, but it didn’t take long for her to feel drowsy. She took advantage of all the snacks Debby had laid out in the living room in an attempt to keep herself awake, but all the sugar was just causing her to crash. She needed to lie down.

“Cole?”

“Mmm?”

“I feel sleepy.”

Cole nodded and shifted down the couch to give her space to stretch out. She settled into her new position, tucking her feet under her so he could have some space.

But he gently resisted that, propping her feet on his lap. She would have protested, insisting that he didn’t have to, but soon he was tracing lazy circles on her ankle with his thumb, and she did not have the energy to fight how good it felt, or overthink whatever the hell it meant.

Soon Debby got up from her spot on the floor and announced that she was going to bed. She turned to Cole. “Can you please turn off the lights? And make sure Lils gets home.” He nodded. She and Lili bid each other a sleepy good night, and she retreated to her bedroom.

Cole and Lili stayed still on the couch as the movie kept playing. Lili had no idea what they were watching anymore - she was fighting her sleep, but more than that, she was fully aware that she and Cole were alone together for the first time in weeks. Which she was usually comfortable with. Tonight, however, something unspoken hung in the air between them.

Suddenly, he got up and walked off in the direction of his room. She was briefly startled, until he came back into the living room holding his dark blue plaid blanket, which he’d dragged off his bed. “Here,” he said, throwing it over to her. “I knew you were approximately thirty seconds from whining about freezing your ass off.”

She laughed as he sat back down on the couch. “Oh yeah? And I do this regularly now, do I?”

“Yep. You’ve also made me watch this musical a thousand times, AND” - he covered her mouth with his hand as she started to interrupt - “you’re going to correct me and say, ‘Cole, don’t be a peasant, it’s a jukebox musical, not a musical, and yes there’s a difference.’”

“There IS a difference. And now you know, so I’ve taught you well, young Padawan.” She pulled the blanket over her body and closed her eyes. “What else do I do?” she asked, yawning.

He looked at her for a moment, his mouth opening and closing, as if to measure what he was about to say next. “You go to Starbucks and always get a size too big, and make me drink the rest of whatever sugary confection you’ve ordered that day. Your favourite VSCO filter is C3, even though it’s obviously trash. Your favourite shirts are all white, despite the fact that you always spill something on yourself - case in point, the salsa on your top tonight.”

“Hey, how did you –”

“Also, you suck at driving my Jeep –”

“I can SO drive your Jeep.”

“–you suck at driving my Jeep, no matter how many times I’ve walked you through it.” He laughed, and his gaze softened. “You buy a new notebook every other week because you write prodigiously. You buy yourself flowers every Friday and never make a big deal out of it. And… you can sleep pretty much anywhere, but once your hand touches your cheek, I know that you’re off and definitely dreaming.”

She looked back at him and smiled, already half-asleep. “Nice work. Since when did you know so much about me, Mr. Sprouse?”

He only smiled in reply, obviously proud of himself. She closed her eyes as his hand settled on hers. I can fall asleep like this forever.

Sleep began to overtake her, but not before she felt a slight puff of air against her leg as Cole suddenly lifted the blanket. He slipped his lithe, sinewy frame behind her, his strong arms wrapping themselves around her waist. She froze. She could feel the length of his body against hers and it was slowly obliterating every reasonable thought in her system.

“Cole?”

“Mmm?”

“Are we doing this?”

He nuzzled his face into her hair, his breath warm against her neck. She felt his mouth turn up into a grin. “Sure. Fuck it. We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

Every ounce of logic in her body screamed against it. If she was smart, she’d get up and drive herself home. Or demand that they actually talk about this.

But as his hand found the skin under her shirt and settled on her waist, she decided she was with Cole on this one; fuck it.

We’ll figure it out tomorrow.

…

And now tomorrow was today.

Lili lay still on the couch, wanting to smack herself for being so reckless. For letting Cole get to her so easily. He had a knack for wearing down her defenses, but she’d had enough.

She felt him stir against her. “Morning,” he mumbled, his voice low in her ear. “Did you sleep okay?”

She had to keep a clear head. She had to. “I slept… fine,” she replied, keeping her tone flat and even.

“Good.” Cole stretched his arms above him. She silently berated herself for missing the warmth of his hands on her bare skin. “What do you want to do today?”

I want to stay here with you.

I want to run away from you.

Lili sighed, exasperated. She sat up and faced him. “Seriously? ‘What do I want to do today’? My god. I don’t know, Cole. Maybe figure out what the hell we’re doing here?”

Cole’s eyes flew open in confusion. He sat up to face her. “What?”

“You heard me. Don’t pretend this is normal for us. I just…” She paused and pinched the bridge of her nose to stop herself from tearing up. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Cole looked at her steadily. “Do what, Lili?”

She waved her hand frantically between them. “THIS! You, and me, and this indefinable whatever that we’ve been carrying on for months now.”

“‘Indefinable?’ What’s there to define?!”

“Everything!” Lili’s voice caught at that, and her eyes welled up. “The hanging out. The late night phone calls. The constant texts. The random presents. And on top of that, last night and this morning and the fucking spooning. All of that, Cole!”

His eyes stayed on her, his silence willing her to go on.

“I just… I need to know because I need to get away from it. It’s so fucking complicated, Cole. We can’t keep doing this, not when we’re about to work together, and see each other everyday, and god, I like you too much to screw this up. I have no idea where you are, or how you feel about me – “

“Lili.” Cole grabbed her wrists and pulled her close. “Are you… seriously… that ignorant?”

She went still. His eyes searched her, challenging her to respond. She felt naked under his gaze. She knew that every fibre in her being was about to give in to everything she had fought for so long. But could she really allow herself to? She shut her eyes against his stare, attempting to make a last-ditch effort at resistance.

But the tide had turned, and he was already well ahead of her. Because he had already moved in on her, his lips finding her cheek, grazing her cheekbone lightly and leaving every inch undone in their wake. The damp, fervent heat of his breath made her tremble. Slowly, one of his hands released her wrists and moved up to the collar on her shirt, fisting the thin cotton, pulling her closer to him. His lips worked their way down to her sharp jawline, planting a trail of small kisses that ended at the corner of her mouth. He pulled away and looked at her, and the hunger in his eyes took her breath away.

Then he crashed on her like lightning, his mouth feverish-hot and full of need. One hand slid into her hair, making a snarled mess, the other pulling at her waist, bringing her deeper into their kiss. She tasted smoke, felt thunder churning inside of her. She couldn’t help herself - she lifted her fingers to touch his lips as he brazenly explored hers. Just to check. Just to make sure this was real.

And in brief moments of lucidness, between being kissed into oblivion, she knew. That this would be her undoing. That this was creating a need in her that she never knew existed. That if things did happen later on between her and Cole, and if things went bad, that she would do everything in her power to be kissed like this again.

At last he broke away. As she caught her breath, his thumb lingered on her mouth. She opened her eyes and met his, and she couldn’t help it - she laughed. He made a face at her.

“You’re laughing?”

“No. I mean, yes. Not at this. With this, if that makes sense.” Her mind was still reeling, and she could barely explain herself. Later that night, she would recognize that it was pure joy that had spilled out of her; that it reminded her of running downhill, of riding a rollercoaster, of splashing madly into a sun-dappled ocean.

He took her hands and wrapped his fingers around them. “All this time… you never knew?”

“You never said anything, Cole.”

“Lili, you know that I did. Maybe not with words, but I did. I thought you’d have that figured out. I mean… I don’t just introduce Dylan to anyone, you know. He’s usually locked away in a basement. It takes a lot of effort getting him out.”

Lili laughed. And was relieved to realize that this still happened - that they could still joke and banter like they used to.

“But… this past week made me figure that maybe you weren’t getting that.”

“You noticed I was ignoring you?”

“Noticed? You were killing me, Lili.”

She felt guilty. Tentatively, she leaned forward and kissed him as a way of apology. It caught him by surprise, and he lingered over the kiss longer than she had meant for it to last, tugging at her bottom lip before letting go. Over the next few days, she would lose count of how many kisses they’d trade, but in that moment she took note that this was only their second kiss, and already it felt natural to her. “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. And, you know, feel free to apologise again, and soon.” He grinned at her.

“So… can I ask? Why didn’t you just come out and tell me all this before it got tense and weird and complicated?

“Well… one, because I thought you knew. I mean, shit, are you even aware that my nickname around this house is Captain Obvious? It’s actually embarrassing.” Lili smiled at that. “And two, because I really was in no rush to define what we were. I mean, why would I need to name it when it was already so fucking good, you know? I didn’t want to jinx it. I’m sorry, that sounds immature, right?”

“No,” Lili conceded. “But I guess for me it would’ve put some parameters on what I was supposed to feel, what I was supposed to do. Because you came out of nowhere, Cole. Like… a cat. A cat getting hit by a car.”

He burst out laughing. “That is the worst comparison. You suck at this.”

“I’m sorry! But it’s true.” She laughed, and looked down at her hands, still enclosed in his. “So… what now?”

“Now?” He shrugged. “I don’t know, you wanna go out for breakfast?”

“Cole.” She levelled a stare at him. “I’m serious.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know, Lili. What are you really asking here? Are you really asking about now, or tomorrow?”

“Can I ask about both?”

“Sure. Here’s my answer to now. I’m honestly crazy about you.” With that, he pulled her in until she was sitting on his lap, and buried his face into her neck, his mouth forming words on her skin. “Every time I’m with you, I can’t decide whether I feel brave, or reckless, or vulnerable, or exposed. More likely all of them, all at the same time.”

She smiled, and turned her towards him so that their foreheads were touching. “And tomorrow?”

“If you’re asking me what the next few months will look like, I… really don’t know.” She nodded and pulled back, a little deflated. It was a fair and honest answer, but it left her feeling uncertain. He noticed her disappointment, and planted a kiss on her bared shoulder. “But tomorrow? You and I have that. I can promise you that.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

She looked at him, traced his dimple lightly with her finger. Tomorrow. Maybe she could live with that for now. Maybe in the face of everything that was about to happen to them - the avalanche of Riverdale and everything that came with it - that small promise was enough.

She just needed to know one more thing. “Cole? Can you promise me something else?”

“Shoot.”

“Can you promise me…” her voice trailed off, and suddenly she felt shy. “Can you promise me that you’ll kiss me again? Tomorrow?”

He arched an eyebrow in surprise, and smirked at her. “Tell you what,” he said. “How about we bring tomorrow forward“ - he leaned in to plant kisses on her chin, her cheeks, her neck - “and figure it out as we go along?”

But as he was teasing her, she was already lost, obliterated - this time, it was her pulling him in. And as he returned her kiss with equal passion, she knew with absolute certainty that this was only the beginning. That they’d be here again many times over. That the future may be unsure, but at least, for now, what they had was real and raw and breathtaking.

Tomorrow was already beckoning.

#sprousehart #colelili #sprousehart fanfic #sprousehart fanfiction #mine

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dahliawolfe · 3 years

Text

Little Sister Earp

Wylie pt. 2

Ok, so she would admit. She had royally fucked up this time. And Wynonna was going to kill her. As she should, cuz boy, did she ever fuck up. Wylie panted, back against a tree. It was nearly midnight, and she, knew that Wynonna and Doc would be home any minute. And….Shit. Oh, no. Doc was gonna give himself a damn coronary when he didn’t find her in her bed. Well, fuck.

See, the thing was, Wylie had gotten herself into a bit of a pickle…again. She’d heard Dolls say that they needed to get some recon on the revenants that were hole up in the old mine tunnels by the creek, but how he didn’t know how they could get in. Theoretically, he’d stated, someone could crawl in one of the smaller shafts and plant a mic to get what they needed. Ya know, use them for their info before Wynonna killed them? The spy shit that Dolls was really good at. Well, anyway, Wylie had taken it upon herself to sneak off and plant the mic. She was the smallest, she could navigate the narrow tunnels the easiest, but they’d never let her do it, so while they were all out “working other angles”, Wylie snuck out, mic in hand, and made her way to the tunnels. And everything went exactly as planned. Until, well, until she triggered a mine collapse on her way out. And then those damn dead heads definitely knew something was up. So, she’d wiggled her way out of the rubble and ran like hellhounds were on her. And now, here she was. In the middle of the forest, blood sticking one of her eyes together, knee scraped to hell, and losing the ground she’d initially gained. Why did she park her car so damn far away?!

Finally, the mustang was within sight, so with one last strong push of her legs, she sprang from the tree line, making a mad dash for her car. When out of nowhere…lightning hits her? Every hair on her body stood on end as she hit the cold ground, her breath leaving her in a harsh whoosh. Bright purple light shrouded her, and she honestly had never felt anything so painful in her life. And then, it was gone. Her body twitched on the ground as the sound of boots ran towards her. She could hardly hear them over the ringing in her ears, but when a very worried looking Doc leaned into her line of vision, she knew she was safe. She was always safe when Doc was there.

Doc carried the limp body of Wylie through the doors of the Earp homestead. She was breathing, but Doc was worried. He’d never seen Wylie so still. She was always full of life, jumping around, making them all laugh. And now, her little body was cradled in his arms, and she wasn’t moving, or talking, or laughing.

“What the hell happened?!” Nicole demanded as they entered the home. “Oh, Wylie,” she drawled upon seeing the youngest Earp sister.

Doc laid Wylie on the bed, and Nicole immediately grabbed the medical supplies. He stroked the hair away from the young girl’s eyes, saying a silent prayer that tonight wouldn’t be the night he lost her.

…

Nicole washed the blood off of her hands and leaned against the sink with a sigh. Wylie was in rough shape. Though not as bad as she had originally thought, the girl still had needed a lot of stitching up. The burn marks on her worried Nicole the most because electrocution wasn’t something she could just sew up. There could be lasting damage that Nicole couldn’t even see. “How the hell did she even get struck by lightning on a clear night?!” Nicole growled lowly.

“It wasn’t lightning,” Dolls spoke, coming into the room.

“Come again?” Wynonna demanded.

“It was some type of magic. I’m not sure what kind yet, but my bet is it isn’t good”

Doc sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Well, why the hell are you standing around?! Go find out what happened!” He stormed out into the night, already pulling a cigarillo from his breast pocket.

…

“Ok, Baby, I need you to wake up now. We’re all very worried about you, and some of us aren’t handling it very well. Doc is gonna smoke himself to death if you don’t wake up soon,” Wynonna cooed to her baby sister, gently stroking her cheek.

“Mmmm. Mama, no,” Wylie groaned, pulling away from Wynonna’s hand. It had been nearly 6 hours since they’d gotten the girl home, and this was the first time she’d been awake.

“Hi, there, Sleepy Bug. Can you open those pretty eyes for me?”

Wylie creaked one eye open, looking over at Wynonna briefly before closing her eye again and rolling into Wynonna’s chest. “Tired, Mama. Wanna sleep,” she mumbled.

“Aww, I know you do, Baby, but we need you to get up for a little while. I’ll make you some French toast, and you can have some of that expensive coffee that you and Waverly love.”

“With sugar?” Wylie asked, raising her head.

“Of course.”

“Mmkay, but my leg hurts. Can’t walk, Mama.”

“How about we get Doc to bring you downstairs then. Hmm?” Wylie nodded, so Wynonna stood to retrieve Doc.

She found him standing guard at the top of the stairs. “Hey, she’s awake. Wants to know if you can carry her down for breakfast.” Doc shot to his feet.

“My pleasure!” he declared, pausing only to inquire, “Is she alright?”

“I think so, yeah. Seems a little out of it still.” Doc nodded and made his way to the bedroom.

“Hey, there, Little One. I heard you needed a ride down to breakfast,” he greeted with a smile. Wylie was sitting up in bed, an old t-shirt of Wynonna’s hanging off of her smaller frame. She gave him a small nod and rubbed her eyes. Doc stooped to pick her up, and her arms went around his neck, her legs going around his waist.

“Thanks, Daddy,” she mumbled against the skin of his neck, and despite his best efforts, Doc froze at the statement. His heart swelled with love. Wylie had never called him that before, but he’d be damn lucky to have a kid as great as her.

“Of course, Pumpkin,” he replied, kissing the side of her head and making his way downstairs.

…

Waverly studied her little sister in amusement. “Uhh, Wynonna, maybe you should have laid off the syrup.”

“Huh?” the oldest sister hummed, looking up from the report she was reading. She glanced at Wylie, and her eyes grew wide. The kid was covered in syrup. Her shirt was wet with it. It was smeared from cheek to cheek, and large pools of it littered the kitchen table. “Wylie!” she gasped. The girl looked up sharply from licking the drop of syrup running down to her elbow. “You’re covered in syrup!” Wylie looked around sheepishly and her eyes grew glassy.

“’M sorry, Mama,” she mumbled sadly, reaching for a napkin to try and clean up her mess. Wynonna frowned. Though Wylie had called her Mama before, she never did it when she was fully awake, unless she was sick. So, maybe she wasn’t as good as Wynonna had assessed earlier.

“That’s ok, Kiddo. Why don’t you go wash up, and I’ll clean this.”

“Wave help?” the girl asked.

“Umm…”

“Of course, I’ll help you, Sweetie,” Waverly answered softly. She ushered a still limping Wylie upstairs, mouthing, “Call Dolls,” on the way.

…

Wylie was plopped on the couch, watching CatDog on Nicole’s tablet when Doc and Dolls made it back to the homestead. She had her thumb tucked into her mouth, roughly chewing on the fat of it. Everyone peeked their heads into the room before stepping back into the kitchen.

“So, she’s doing what?” Dolls asked, hands going to his hips.

“I don’t know, Man. Regressing?!” Wynonna harshly whispered back.

“Regressing?”

“Yes, Dolls! Regressing!”

“Hmm. That’s interesting.”

“No. No, it’s really not. If Wylie were, well Wylie, she’d be pissed to see herself like this.”

“I’ll do some digging. The good news is, it looks like the recorder she stuck in the mine last night wasn’t discovered, so I’ve been listening in. I’ll keep an ear out for anything.”

“Doc, what about you? This level of fuckery ringing any bell from the ye old days?”

“Not that I recall. I will read some of Wyatt’s journals and see if he mentions anything.” Upon hearing his voice, Wylie immediately perks up from the other room.

“Daddy?!” she gasps, rolling off of the couch and running too him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.

“Well, hi there, Sugar Plum. What is my best girl up to?” Doc replied, scooping her up without missing a beat.

“Missed you. You were gone so long,” Wylie stated, tugging at Doc’s signature hat.

“Was I? Well, I do apologize.” Looking around the room, Wylie caught Dolls eyes.

“Hi, X,” she drawled, her finger going back in her mouth.

“Hello, Wylie. How are you feeling?”

“Umm, I gots an owie. Nic made it better though,” she declared, holding out her stitched up leg.

“I see that. How did that happen?”

“Umm…I was doing something bad,” she pouted, hanging her head.

“That’s ok. I do bad stuff too sometimes. You’re still a very good girl,” Dolls confirmed, stepping closer to stroke a wayward strand from her eyes. A rare moment of gentleness. In response, Wylie beamed at him.

…

“I’m heading out to pick up the take out. Need anything else?” Nicole questioned later that night.

“I go?!” Wylie questioned, wriggling her way out of Waverly’s lap.

“Umm…”

“Not this time, Kiddo. Nic’s in a rush,” Wynonna replied.

“Wanna go, Mama.”

“No, Wylie.”

Wylie stomped her good foot, letting out a screech of, “Maaaamaaaa!”

“Lord have mercy,” Doc chuckled, earning a glare from Wynonna.

“Wylie Caroline Earp!” Wynonna boomed, causing Wylie to freeze, crocodile tears still rolling down her cheeks. “I said “no”, and I meant it!”

…

Wylie swung Nicole’s hand back and forth as they made their way into the local Mexican restaurant. Nicole tried to hide her grin. If anyone was a match for Wynonna Earp, it was her baby sister. After a bout of wailing, thrashing around on the floor, and general tantrum throwing, Wynonna threw up her hands and walked away, reminding Wylie to wear a jacket.

To her credit, Wylie didn’t give Nicole any grief on the brief trip to the heart of Purgatory and back. She even carried one of the 3 bags of food they’d acquired.

Doc was on the front porch when they got back, and he offered a sweet smile to Wylie.

“We got tacos, Daddy!” she exclaimed proudly, slinging the bag up for him to see.

“Did you now? Well, how about we go get those hands washed up so you can eat some?”

“Mmmkay.”

…

“I’ve got something you should hear,” Dolls stated, entering the house in the middle of dinner.

“Got you taco, X!” Wylie proclaimed, fighting off Wynonna’s hand, which was trying to wipe taco sauce off of her cheek.

“Thanks, Kid. Wynonna, this is kinda urgent,” Dolls replied, nodding at Wylie, who was obliviously dipping her tortilla in the queso.

“Ahh, ok. Umm…Doc, can you go get Wylie cleaned up for bed?” Doc quickly nodded and stood.

“Still eating, Mama,” Wylie informed.

“You can finish tomorrow.”

“Tacos for breakfast?!” the young girl gasped.

“Sure. Why not?” Doc scooped Wylie up and made his way upstairs.

Wynonna turned to Dolls. “Play the tape.”

…

“Ok, so Waverly, you’re staying with Wylie. If she wakes up, tell her that we’ll be back soon. Everyone else, load up. We’re going to get our girl back,” Wynonna ordered later that night. Dolls found a recording of one of the revenants in the mines who used to practice dark magic. He was talking about the spell he’d blasted Wylie with and how he assumed they were all at their wits end by now. What the bastard hadn’t counted on was the fact that the Earp family took care of their own and didn’t compromise on loyalty.

…

The revenant squirmed under the burning touch of Peacemaker. “So, you gonna fix it yourself, or are you going to make me hurt you some more?” Wynonna growled. She’d been beating the unholy piss out of the dude for the last hour, and she was honestly getting a little tired of his shit.

“I’ll…I’ll tell you how to fix it ok? It’s a potion. You make her drink it and she’ll be good as new. Promise.”

“Well, I guess you better get to talking. Peacemaker is getting antsy.”

…

Waverly was sipping on a mug of tea, when she heard the desperate cry of, “MAMA!” The older sister sprinted up the stairs, throwing open the door of Wylie’s room.

“Wylie, it’s ok, Baby. I’m right here. Wave is here,” she cooed, stroking the sweaty hair out of the shaking girl’s eyes. She remembered when Wylie was young. The nightmares the kid would get were terrible.

“Wave, scared,” Wylie whimpered. Waverly bodily lifted her little sister, placing her on her lap and tucking her head into Waverly’s neck.

“Shh. It’s ok. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

“Mama left again?” Wylie inquired quietly, and Waverly’s heart shattered. Wynonna leaving had torn Wylie’s heart out. She’d had nightmares for months after.

“No. No. Of course not, Baby. Mama would never leave you again. She’s just out with your Daddy, and Nic, and X. She’ll be home soon.”

“You stay?”

“Always, Little One. I’ll always stay with you.”

…

Wynonna entered Wylie’s bedroom to find her two little sisters tangled together in the middle of the bed. She smiled. Those two were the only thing good that had come from her life. And she’d kill or die for them. Walking quietly to Wylie’s side of the bed, she opened the glass bottle Dolls had filled with the potion needed to cure Wylie. She gently shook her sister, whispering, “Baby Doll, can you wake up for me?”

“Hmm?” Wylie hummed turning to face Wynonna.

“Here, Honey. Can you drink this? It’ll make you feel better.” Wylie did so without question, sleepy but completely trusting.

“Yuck, Mama,” the girl mumbled, wrinkling her nose and laying back down. Wynonna smiled and laid down beside her.

…

“What the fuck is that taste in my mouth?” Wylie groaned the next morning. Wynonna and Waverly were asleep on each side of her, so she slowly slid out of bed and made her way down to the kitchen, making her way to the fridge. “Ohh, tacos,” she exclaimed, grabbing one and shoving it in her mouth cold. A chuckle behind her made her freeze.

Doc looked on as Wylie mauled the cold taco. “Feeling better?” he asked teasingly. She swallowed roughly.

“Umm, yeah. I think so,” Wylie replied, looking down nervously. “I’m sorry if I made things weird. Thank you for putting up with that.”

“Nothing is Weird, Wylie. It was my pleasure to help you.”

“I know it sounds stupid, but you are kinda like a dad to me. Ward was kinda a piece of shit, and he died when I was like a baby, so I don’t really remember him. But you take care of me, you’re nice to me; even when I’m stupid, and well… yeah. But I don’t like expect you to do anything just cuz my monkey brain defaulted to that when….when what-the-hell-ever happened.”

Doc stepped closer, drawing her into a hug. “It was my pleasure to be your daddy. Even if you were spelled.” Wylie wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tighter than she ever had. Cuz, hell, maybe that nasty revenant did her a favor after all.

#Wynonna Earp #wynonna earp fanfiction #doc holliday #earpsisters

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tahlreth · 6 years

Note

Winteriron Bakery AU where Tony is the owner of Stark Bakeries and falls for Bucky. Steve and Sam tease Bucky a lot because Bucky always goes out of his way to visit the cake shop. Granted the cakes are delicious but it's way out of Bucky's workplace. Rhodey and Pepper tease Tony a lot whenever Bucky comes. Bucky is always blushing when he talks to Tony. One day Bucky shouts that he loves Tony. Tony immediately agrees to date him. Fluffy, cute story. Happy ending.

AN: Woooow this got totally out of hand. XD Also, it’s barely edited because I’m awful. But yeah. Probably angstier than the asker intended. Sorry! But it’s still pretty fluffy sometimes? idk Hope you enjoy it! Because it is super long, there is a ‘Read More’

Bucky hadn’t been home before 10:30 at night in almost a month and a half.

It wasn’t that he was pulling overtime, though he’d managed to fool his roommates for just over a week with that cover story. Evading their questions had gotten trickier after that, but Bucky persevered for two more blessed weeks. It wasn’t that he was ashamed or embarrassed about where he was spending his time… it was just that he didn’t need Stevie or Sam ruining everything. He’d been certain that as soon as they knew where he spent his time, they’d show up and figure out why he was going there. Once they figured out, their ‘I’m a little shit’ switches would be flipped and the teasing would begin. And yeah, they wouldn’t really mean any harm, and once they both settled they’d be supportive about it, but… It was just that he didn’t need them destroying his new happy place.

He’d discovered the little cafe completely by accident. One day, one horrible awful shitty day, he’d just started to drive. It was something that had always helped him calm down, and he hadn’t had any specific destination in mind. He just… drove, taking turns when the urge hit him, getting further and further away from both his work and his apartment. Bucky hadn’t even thought about stopping until his stomach started to complain, which was when he started looking for diners or maybe a donut place.

What he’d found instead was a shop named 'We Sell Fucking Cakes’, except the 'u’ on the sign had been replaced with an adorable looking cupcake capped with what looked like a wrench. Intrigued, he’d found a place to park and found his curiosity further peaked by a poster in the window that announced they’d defeated 146 attempts to force them to change their name. It had seemed like Bucky’s kind of place despite the cutesy looking decor - when he’d opened the door, it had been to the sound of hammers hitting an anvil instead of a bell. He’d thought it was the weirdest and cooling fucking thing ever.

And then… then he’d fallen in love.

Not with the food or the coffee, though both were pretty amazing. Their menu of 'real’ food was pretty limited - some sandwiches, one kind of soup every day, the occasional taco or casserole special. Where they really shone was in their desert selection. It was as varied as the baked goods were delicious, and Bucky often wondered why they hadn’t opened up a bakery that was only a bakery.

“Because I need coffee like I need air,” the resident genius baker had told him with a shrug and a twinkle in his eye. He’d also had flour streaked across his nose and on his cheek, and Bucky had ached to brush it away with a few tender swipes of his thumb. “If we sell it, I get to drink it for free. Duh.” It wasn’t fair that the wink he’d given before disappearing into the kitchen made Bucky a little weak in the knees.

It was for him that Bucky made the hour-long drive everyday after work. He’d been purposefully vague whenever he was asked about his job and where he lived. From the way Pepper’s eyes danced, he wasn’t fooling the woman who handled both the register and all of 'We Sell Fucking Cakes’ marketing. She and Rhodes (who the guy Bucky desperately wanted to impress called Rhodey) were very clearly aware of his gigantic crush, and they were always making sly comments whenever the man who’d stolen Bucky’s heart came out from the back to mingle. At first, Bucky had fucking panicked, sure that they were going to ruin this as surely as Stevie and Sam would.

Thank fucking Christ that Tony seemed oblivious as to why they were teasing him the way they were.

Tony (whose last name he didn’t know, but it was fine, Tony could just take his) sometimes blushed or darted quick looks Bucky’s way, but he seemed oblivious to Bucky’s feelings. That was both a blessing and a curse. Because sure it meant Bucky was too chicken-shit to ask him on a date, but it also meant that they could talk without things getting awkward. Tony not knowing about Bucky’s infatuation meant he could sit in the warm, welcoming cafe for a couple hours a day. It meant they weren’t avoiding each other’s eyes or pretending things didn’t get weird when one person was crushing and the other person wasn’t.

And Tony definitely wasn’t. He came out and talked to Bucky all the time, but he tended to talk to most of the patrons. Everyone loved meeting the man behind the baked goods, and Tony seemed to thrive on the attention. He preened and boasted, and it was so well-deserved that Bucky found it endearing instead of ignoring. The fact that he lingered or even sat at Bucky’s table was easily explained away; Tony was a nerd. A total, complete, unapologetic geek. In Bucky he’d found a kindred spirit, and their discussions usually revolved around things like Star Wars, Star Trek, Dune, and various books and video games. They even had a book club of sorts, where they traded beat up paperbacks and then argued over what the author was trying to say. It was friendly, it was Tony wanting someone to talk nerdy to, and not anything more.

Bucky was the one who wanted a romantic relationship, and he was the one who was too scared of losing what they had to ask for it.

It was fine though. He liked being Tony’s friend. Eventually his crush would (probably) fade, and he’d get to keep Tony’s friendship for a lot longer than dating would likely last. So it was fine. He had a great little spot to hang out, eat dinner, and spend all his money at. He had Tony stopping by his table for chats, and he had Pepper and Rhodey shooting him knowing glances without giving up his crush to the object of his affections. Bucky had it good, really, and he was thankful for it.

Then Sam and Stevie got curious and way too nosy, and he knew that his good thing was living on borrowed time.

~.~.~

“Hey! This is the street that goes to our apartment! Where the hell are you going, Buck?”

“To drop you punks off,” Bucky said, trying his hardest not to gnash his teeth. “Your fucking car’s not even having any problems, I’d bet my goddamn life on it. You and Stevie are just trying to be nosy.” He growled when Sam leaned forward and peeked around his headrest, hands gripping Bucky’s shoulders. “Get the fuck off of me while I’m driving.”

“Awww, someone’s being a grumpy bear,” Sam teased, grinning at Bucky when their eyes met in the rearview mirror. “C'mon Bucky. Take us to your secret hideout!”

“Someone’s going to murder you in your sleep tonight,” he muttered as he tried to shrug Sam’s hands off. “I ain’t taking you anywhere but home.”

“If you drop us off, we’ll only tail you in Sam’s car,” Stevie pointed out calmly from the passenger’s seat. He looked highly unimpressed when Bucky whirled to face him and bared his teeth in a snarl. He even threw a fake yawn in for effect, and Bucky was officially Not Amused.

“I knew it! I fucking knew you were lying, you assholes. Gonna murder you both now.”

Despite the threat, he took a turn that would eventually lead him to 'We Sell Fucking Cakes’. Steve meant the threat, and the pair of them would be impossible if he forced them to sneak after him. Even if he just stayed home for a day, they’d just tail him the next, or maybe the one after that. He was totally unwilling to give up his favorite cafe or his crush for as long as it would take the two idiots to lose interest. So he just drove, putting up with their teasing and their rambunctious behaviors - he wished they would just fuck already to work out some of that tension sizzling between them.

When they realized just how far away the cafe was, he sank down in his seat, shoulders nearly touching his ears in a show of defensiveness. They wisely didn’t comment, but he could feel their judgement. If they thought he didn’t see the knowing looks they were exchanging then they were as stupid as he was annoyed by this turn of events. They’d know that he wasn’t going to this place just for the food and the atmosphere. Bucky didn’t think it would take them longer than a few minutes to realize that he was going there for Tony, and he really, really didn’t want to deal with that. 'We Sell Fucking Cakes’ was his - he didn’t want to share, not even with his best friend and their slightly more shitty roommate. He wanted to keep it and his massive crush for himself, and he lowkey hated Sam and Stevie for putting him in this position.

He flirted with the idea of just taking them somewhere else, but they’d know.

Observant assholes.

They got to the cafe far too soon for Bucky’s taste - once he’d killed the engine, he locked the doors before the other men could leave. “If either of you do anything to ruin this for me,” he growled, looking as menacing as he possibly could. He had it on good authority that that was pretty damn menacing, and Steve and Sam looked suitably concerned. “I won’t just murder you - you will beg me for death before I’m done with you. I’m not kidding, Stevie, so you can stop rolling your fucking eyes. Keep all your fucking commentary to yourselves - I don’t need any help or teasing from the peanut gallery. I like this place, and if you embarrass me to the point that I can’t come back, you will be on my shit list for the rest of your shortened lives.”

Before they could reply, he unlocked the doors and exited the car, slamming the door shut behind him. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he stalked toward the cafe - his mood lightened a little when he saw that the number of attempts to get Tony to change the name had gone up to almost two hundred. Maybe when they hit that total he’d throw the staff a little party…

The sound of Steve and Sam walking behind him caused his mood to tank again. Bucky knew that he looked grumpy at the very least. He might even have his 'murder face’ on, but he couldn’t help it, not when he was sure this was going to go terribly. Steve snorted when he heard the sound of a forge that announced their arrival, and he wanted to throttle the idiot. Tony had inserted lots of little quirks like that - his second love was engineering, and he wasn’t ashamed to make that obvious. His shoulders were close to his ears again, and he stormed over to his usual table and flung himself into his seat. And it was his, at least at his usual time of day; it was always empty and waiting for him, which he appreciated. When he was sitting there he could sort of see into the kitchen, so he got little peeks at Tony happily baking and puttering around.

Steve and Sam paused, both looking over at him in confusion. Despite the way he was glowering, arms now crossed over his chest, he jerked his chin towards the front counter. Even if he was pissed that they’d forced him to bring them here, he wouldn’t let them leave until they’d tried and praised the food and coffee the cafe served. Once he’d calmed down a little from his snit, Bucky would be placing an order of his own. He could feel two more pairs of eyes on him, judging and concerned in equal measure - he hoped like hell Pepper and Rhodes wouldn’t take his bad mood personally. Not even catching a glimpse of Tony was enough to make him smile; he just slouched down in his chair, wishing the floor would open up and swallow him.

Because even if his shitty roommates were being normal and not terrible just then, he was pretty sure that would go out the window as soon as they met Tony. It had been… a while, a long while, since Bucky’d shown interest in anyone. The pair of them would know he was into Tony right away (so sue him, he had a type) and they’d be so fucking delighted that their manners and common sense would fly right out the window. God, Pepper and Rhodey might even join in, and they’d all be making fun of him and his crush, and Tony couldn’t stay oblivious forever.

He’d worked himself into a state that was just shy of a full-blown panic by the time Steve and Sam joined him at his table. His table that now he had to share, and Sam’s stupid head was blocking his view of the kitchen. He briefly thought about forcing them to change seats - Stevie was short enough that he wouldn’t be an obstruction - but realized that would only give them more ammunition. If he went up to the counter he could maybe take a peek in and give Tony a greeting that could also be a warning… When he looked over that way, he met Pepper’s eyes - she mouthed an 'are you okay?’ and he could only shrug in response.

“So this is where you’ve been coming every day?” Sam asked, sounding both confused and deriding. “It’s a cafe, man. Can’t be anything that special - we drove an hour for this?”

“Hey,” Steve said, knocking his shoulder into Sam’s arm. “Don’t knock it 'til you’ve tried the food. It smells great in here - if it all tastes even half as good, I’m gonna have Buck start bringing stuff home for me.” Bucky shot a grateful smile his way, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. Maybe… maybe this could be okay. Maybe he could get through this relatively unscathed. Tony didn’t always come out right away, and Bucky hoped that this was one of those days. If he could hurry his nosy friends out of here, he could pass this place off as a quirk - somewhere quiet that he’d stumbled on and used to unwind.

Unfortunately, just as he’d started to relax the universe proved that it hated him.

“Bucky!” Tony sounded so happy to see him, just like he always did. For the first time it made Bucky want to run, and he thought seriously about returning the greeting gruffly just to throw Steve and Sam off the scent. But it was Tony, and it wasn’t his fault that Bucky was in a crappy mood.

“Hey Tony,” he answered, looking up with a smile that he knew was too soft. Sure enough, he saw his roommates go stiff from the corner of his eye, and he just knew that soon they’d have matching, shit-eating grins on their faces. His crush was standing by his table, absolutely beaming at him; despite everything, Bucky felt himself start to cheer up a little bit. “Saw you’re getting close to two hundred.” Tony’s expression changed to one of pride, and his attention was still completely focused on Bucky - he hadn’t glanced at Steve or Sam even once. “Maybe when you get there you should change the sign.”

“Noooo! Not you too Buck. I thought you liked the name,” he said, pouting even as his eyes danced with laughter.

“Not the name, Tones,” he soothed, straightening in his chair. “But you should put a sheet over the words, get people’s hopes up. Then, while they’re still smug in their victory… you can very dramatically pull the covering away to reveal that you’ve replaced the cupcake with a cookie.”

Tony practically cackled when the full genius of Bucky’s plan hit him, and he couldn’t help but duck his head to hide his pleased smile and the way he was blushing just a little bit. Beneath the sound of Tony’s delight, however, he heard Sam give a low wolf whistle. Nobody would ever be able to prove that he was the one to deliver a vicious kick to the idiot’s shin.

“You have the best fucking ideas, Bucky-babe! We are definitely doing that - maybe we’ll reset the counter to zero too… oh! Sorry, I’m being rude. You’ve got friends. Hello, friends of Bucky. I’m Tony - owner and resident baker extraordinaire.” Bucky half expected Tony to bow, and when the man side-eyed him with a grin tugging at his lips, Bucky knew that he’d been sorely tempted to do just that. “Buck’s never brought anyone with him before. I was starting to think that maybe he didn’t think this place was good enough to tell anyone about. Which reminds me!” He turned back to Bucky with a scowl, putting his hands on his hips. “What the hell was that book you had me read? That was such bullshit, and I’m pissed you made me read that with my own two eyeballs.”

“Why should I be the only one to suffer?”

“Ass. Anyway! So yeah, I’m Tony. I see you already ordered - tell me how you like the cake, friend one,” he said to Sam, cocking his head to the left. “I used a new recipe for the ganache, and I’m not quite sure about it. Reviews have been good so far, but I’m always open to more opinions. And friend two - why would you get such a sweet drink when you’re eating something sweet enough to give some people a toothache? I’ll go get you something more bitter - you can try both and then tell me how right I am. Do you want usual A or usual B, Bucky-babe?”

Steve and Sam were staring at the whirlwind that was Tony, and Bucky was probably taking too much pleasure in their gobsmacked expressions. “I think maybe I’ll switch things up and take not-usual C. And this is Sam - friend one - and Stevie, er, Steve - friend two. They suspected me of nefarious plots and decided to tag along to foil any evil plans.”

“They’re too late for that - already read the damned book. Nice to meet you, Sam and Steve! I’m Tony - wait, told you that already - and that’s Pepper at the counter. Rhodey went to run an errand, but he’ll be back soon. And now I’m off to get Bucky’s order and a not-so-sweet drink for Steve. Be right back!”

Tony left as quickly as he’d come, and Bucky watched him go with way more interest than was appropriate for someone who was just a friend.

“Wow. Just… wow. Guess we know why… Bucky-babe,” Sam’s voice was a drawl, and he got another kick to the shin for his trouble. Bucky was also wearing his fiercest glare, because Tony was the only person allowed to call him that ever. “Is driving an hour to come here.”

“It is all becoming clear,” Steve agreed, wearing a wicked little smirk that could only mean bad things. “Have ya asked him out yet, or are ya pining?”

“I’m not pining,” he said, flinching at the pout even he could hear in his voice.

“He’s pining,” Sam remarked in an aside to Steve. “Probably has been since he started coming, poor guy. I think we need to help put him out of his misery, Steve.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“I dunno if even our words of wisdom’d be enough,” Steve mourned, knocking Sam’s arm again. “Maybe we oughta watch. And laugh.”

“This Tony might have untoward thoughts about Bucky, man. I think we need to find out what exactly his intentions are.”

“’S a good idea. You wanna be good cop or bad cop?”

“Good cop. You’re scarier than me, even if you are a shrimp.”

“Will both of you just stop? Please?” Bucky hissed, feeling a blush start to creep over his cheeks. “I told you - don’t ruin this for me! I like coming here–”

“Doesn’t seem like there’s been much 'coming’, not with you so tense.”

“Shut up Stevie.”

“New plan - let’s help the man get laid. Tony seems like he might be into it.”

“That’s a much better plan. Operation: Let Bucky Come Here has now begun.”

“… what the fuck is that name, Steve?”

“Shaddup. I’ll come up with something better later.”

“I’m kicking the both of you out and I’m gonna get roommates who aren’t such fucking trolls.”

“Oh, you guys live together?” Tony’s cheery voice made him jump in surprise - he hadn’t realized the man had come back. Bucky felt his cheeks heat as he prayed that Tony hadn’t heard the rest of their conversation. “Then maybe you can help me solve a little mystery that me and Rhodey have been working on. Pep’s not super interested, but I think that’s 'cause she already has it figured out.” As he spoke, he set a plate with two huge chocolate chip cookies in front of Bucky, along with a tall glass of ice cold milk. Steve got a cup of coffee that probably only had a little bit of sugar and cream in it - he knew from experience that it actually paired really well with the pie that Steve had chosen to get. “Where the hell do you guys live?” Tony plopped down in the only free chair, the one that just happened to be next to Bucky. It was a struggle not to sling a casual arm over the back of it.

“He hasn’t told ya?” Steve asked slyly, shooting a look in his direction. “I’d have thought he’d be giving you directions so ya could drop by sometime.” Unlike Sam, his best friend was a lot better at evading Bucky’s kicks even when he couldn’t see them coming. Tony just looked a little confused before shrugging.

“He’s a private guy,” he said, looking over to meet Bucky’s eye with a smile. “I didn’t want to push.”

“Oh, but you have no idea pumping my friends for information?” Steve’s smirk made him realize that he’d chosen his words poorly.

“If you’re going to be… pumping anyone, it really oughta be Buck.” Before he could yell at his friend, Steve quickly bounced to the actual subject of the conversation. “We live about an hour away, actually. It’s a nice drive though. Might hafta stop in for myself sometime.” Bucky gave him a 'you do and you’re dead’ look, but Stevie happily ignored it.

“An hour away? Huh! Never seeing you around ever suddenly makes a lot more sense. Mystery solved.” Tony blinked, then looked over at Bucky with wide brown eyes that he could stare into forever. “Wait. So do you work nearby, or like… halfway between here and your house?”

He promptly occupied himself with eating his cookies. There was no fucking way he was answering that - he’d much rather stare at his snack and eat. Besides… he was sure Sam and Stevie would be jumping right in.

Sam quickly proved him right.

“Nah. Bucky actually works in the opposite direction,” he told Tony with a grin, leaning back in his chair. With a casual ease that Bucky envied, he draped his arm over the back of Steve’s chair, completely missing the way Steve’s cheeks turned a little pink. “We were wondering where he kept disappearing to. Now that I’m here, I can definitely see the appeal.” That drove Steve’s blush away, and the small blond went so far as to elbow Sam in the stomach. Bucky approved, because the only one he wanted to notice Tony’s appeal was himself. Sam could fuck off and find his own crush, or he could finally admit that he wanted Steve and put them all out of their misery.

Bucky flicked his eyes up at Tony, who was slack-jawed as he stared at Bucky. He felt himself start to blush again, and this time the heat rose all the way to the tips of his ears. After a second of the scrutiny, his shoulders started to inch upward and he started to slouch over, wishing that he’d murdered his two friends before this day could happen. “So you… you drive…” Tony sounded a little faint, and Bucky wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. “You’ve been here every day except weekends. Bucky-babe, that’s two hours in a car every day. I know you like my baking, but holy shit. You don’t have to go that far! Fuck, I could send you home with a box of deserts to tide you over for a few days or something.”

“… I like it here,” Bucky told him gruffly. “’S nice and quiet, and I like to drive anyway. Don’t mind that part. Plus I get to see you. And Pepper and Rhodes,” he added in a hurry. “I’d miss our book club.”

“That doesn’t happen every day!” Tony told him, flailing in his seat. “We could schedule days, you dope, so you don’t have to drive so far all the freaking time. That has to waste so much gas!”

Bucky wanted to tell him that it wasn’t a waste, that he didn’t mind using the gas or buying enough snacks and coffee each visit to justify his several hour stays. The words to let Tony know that he liked when they just talked, or when Tony was dealing with some irate patron and made faces at Bucky as soon as they turned away. It was nice, when they caught each other’s eye while Tony was working in the kitchen - Tony didn’t wink every time, but whenever it did happen his stomach started to flip and his heart would beat just a little faster. Seeing Pepper and Rhodes was nice too, and their teasing was a hell of a lot more subtle than Sam and Stevie’s.

That wasn’t completely fair, because his roommates would settle after a few days of being merciless, but still. Rhodes and Pepper were almost as big a draw as Tony was.

He’d sort of thought Tony might enjoy having him around too. Maybe not the same way Bucky did, since he was so far out of Bucky’s league it wasn’t funny, but he’d thought they had made a connection. They were friendly, if maybe not exactly friends - they’d probably have to exchange numbers and see each other outside of the cafe to claim that much. Tony always stopped to talk to him and had started using Bucky as a test subject for new recipes. They had inside jokes and running arguments about a multitude of subjects, and he had really thought that Tony was glad to see him whenever he walked through the door.

Judging by Tony’s efforts to convince him to stop in less frequently, he’d been wrong.

“I like coming here,” he reiterated, jaw clenching once he’d bitten the words out. “Thought I was welcome to stop by any time. Sorry for bothering you so much.”

Tony didn’t immediately rush to say that Bucky wasn’t bothering him. He didn’t say anything at all, just sat there and looked uncomfortable, and the atmosphere had turned awkward. Steve and Sam were both squirming, which fucking served them right. This was their fault - if they’d just kept their noses out of Bucky’s business, he’d still think Tony liked him, if only as a friend. Maybe some people would appreciate knowing the truth, but he’d been happy with his ignorance, thanks. They’d ruined it, just like he’d thought they would. After a few seconds of silence, Bucky shrugged and dug around in his pocket so he could set a few bills on the table.

“Thanks for the cookies,” he managed as he stood and walked away. The sound of a hammer and anvil irritated him when he yanked the door open - what the fuck kind of noise was that for a cafe? Rhodes was coming in as he was going out - he ignored the man’s smile and his greeting, walking past him with nothing more than a shrug. On reaching the safety of his car (doors locked and windows rolled up all the way just in case), he took just a few seconds to breathe, resting his forehead against the steering wheel.

Once he’d gotten himself under control, he started the car and headed for the apartment, not waiting for Sam or Stevie.

They could find their own damned way home.

~.~.~

Bucky didn’t go to the cafe on Wednesday or Thursday; when Stevie had ordered him to go back on Friday, he’d flipped his friend off and hidden in his room for the rest of the night. Both of his roommates had been apologetic, but that didn’t fix anything. He’d lost one of the few places outside the apartment where he’d felt comfortable and happy, and he’d lost what probably could have been a really great friendship once he’d gotten over his crush. There was no way he was going back there just to be embarrassed and hurt when Tony avoided him while Pep and Rhodes looked on with pitying eyes. That was the only way another visit played out, and he wasn’t interested.

By the time Sunday rolled around, he was snapping and snarling at Sam and Steve whenever they spoke to him. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin, angry and twitchy and just all around miserable. His friends tried to be understanding, but the way they were hovering and being so damned nice only irritated the shit out of him. Bucky finally told them to leave him the hell alone and just fuck already; when he slammed his door it was too loud in the deafening silence he’d left behind him.

Monday passed by in tentative, awkward silences and long glances and Tuesday was more of the same. None of them seemed able to stand being in the same room as each other, which meant Bucky was back to being sequestered in his own space. He lose himself in his work and mindless internet use, back to having bad days and no longer comfortable with trying to drive away his feelings. Not after how it had worked out the last time.

Before he knew it, three weeks had passed in a listless haze and he realized that something had to give. He couldn’t keep being an asshole to his two best friends. Bucky knew that he owed them a hell of an apology, and that he needed to find a way to get over this before he lost Stevie and Sam’s friendship completely. He hadn’t really meant to go back to 'We Sell Fucking Cakes’, but he passed by the turn that would take him home, and he was halfway there before he started to question the unconscious decision. At that point, he figured he might as well keep going.

Wasn’t like he had anything at the cafe left to lose.

~.~.~

The count had reached 195, and Bucky hated knowing that he wouldn’t be around to see it hit 200. He didn’t find the anvil and hammer sound as annoying as he’d tried to tell himself it had always been. In a weird way, it was kind of like coming home. An old one, anyway, one that you’d left behind and couldn’t ever really get back. The place was busy, which was a blessing. Or it was, until he saw a young couple sitting at what had been his table; that hit him like a punch right to the gut. At least Pepper didn’t seem to notice him right away, and he pulled his ball cap down over his eyes and kept his head down too, trying to figure out what he might say when he was finally at the counter and had to make an order.

Bucky was halfway through planning a garbled speech when it happened. He heard Tony before he saw him, and he hunched in on himself further. There was something wrong with Tony, he could tell that almost immediately. His voice, usually so animated and full of life, was much duller than Bucky could ever remember hearing it. When he peeked up at him, Tony looked… well, he looked sad. There were bags under his eyes and he drooped instead of carrying himself with effortless grace.

Shit, had something terrible happened while he was gone? Someone could be sick - Tony could be sick - or maybe there was finally enough pressure to change the name. Maybe the business was going under despite how busy they seemed, or maybe Tony had been dealing with the shitty family he’d dropped vague hints about. Maybe he’d been reading another shitty book.

Maybe… maybe he missed Bucky as much as Bucky missed him.

The thought gave him a burst of courage, and even if he was wrong that was okay. If he just… if he tried, no matter what happened, he could move on. It would give him some closure, and he could work on not being such a prick to his friends. So yeah. It was time to take a chance.

As a bonus, Tony had always been kind of dramatic. He’d probably eat this shit up, which could increase his chances of success. Challenge accepted.

Stepping out of the line, he whipped his hat off - he was pretty sure he didn’t imagine the gasp that left Pepper and Tony’s lips. Keeping his movements exaggerated and theatrical he tossed it to the floor and (just for effect) shrugged off his unbuttoned plaid shirt as well. It had been a busy day in the shop, which meant he’d gotten sweaty enough for his tank top to cling to his upper body, and he knew damn well that he was displaying his muscles to their best advantage. He didn’t even mind the oil and dirt streaked over his skin, because Tony’s eyes had gone wide and his pupils had dilated; if he was happy with what he saw, Bucky was happy to let him see it.

The other patrons were muttering now, and he was sure more than a couple of them thought he was insane, but he didn’t give two shits. He only cared what Tony and (maybe) Pepper and Rhodey thought. Refusing to feel as silly as he might look, he pointed at Tony, who obligingly put one hand over his heart.

“I came here every day to see you!” Bucky declared loudly, putting all the confidence he didn’t really feel into his voice to keep it steady. “The first time I came in here was an accident - I just needed to drive. Then I came in, and you had chocolate all over your cheek and it was fucking adorable. After I ordered you came out and talked to me for half an hour about Stargate Atlantis, because you’d had a marathon the day before. It was awesome, and I don’t think I’ve ever had a piece of cake as good as that one. It was orgasmic, Tony. You bake the best shit ever, but that wasn’t why I made the hour drive every day!”

Tony was still staring, shock warring with a tiny smile, cheeks slowly turning pink. He could hear a couple women cooing at him, and Pepper looked pleased as punch even with one hand covering her mouth.

“I came because…” he dropped his arm and shrugged, scuffing the toe of one boot over the floor. “I came because I wanted to see you, and I wanted to talk to you. I couldn’t get up the courage to ask you out, but–”

“Yes!” Bucky blinked at Tony’s interruption, and for a few seconds they just stared at each other. Tony’s face was turning a very appealing shade of pink, and God Bucky wanted to kiss him.

“What?”

“I mean… what? You… you weren’t… nothing! It’s nothing.”

“Jesus Christ.” Now Bucky was staring at Pepper, because he’d never heard her use anything even remotely like foul language before. “You are the two most frustrating men I’ve ever met. Bucky!” He snapped to attention without even thinking about it, eyes on her. “Did you really think Tony was coming out to talk to you for the hell of it? Do you honestly believe that he comes out and spends that much time talking to just anyone? Why are you such a moron? And Tony!” It was such a relief when Pepper shifted her attention, because she was a lot scarier than he’d have thought. Tony shrank beneath the weight of her gaze, his eyes darting from her to Bucky and back. “The man was driving an hour each way to come and see you! He picked his table so he could see you working in the kitchen! He brought you books and movies and weird geeky things that I didn’t understand at all but that you loved. He was not coming for your cupcakes, you idiot. You are driving me insane, and I’m tired of trying to gently nudge you into realizing that you both have giant, embarrassing crushes on each other.” When she pointed to the kitchen, her finger was shaking with what was probably rage. “Get your asses into that kitchen and sort this out, or so help me.”

She didn’t need to tell them twice, and they both booked it to the kitchen to the sound of their 'audience’ clapping with a few wolf whistles thrown into the mix.

People were such assholes.

Once they were in the kitchen, Bucky took hold of Tony’s hand and tugged him into a corner he knew for a fact wasn’t visible to anyone else. He probably should have let go when they were tucked away, but instead he focused on tangling their fingers together. One of them should probably talk too, but they were busy avoiding eye contact. He tried a couple times, even opened his mouth, but the words didn’t want to come. Pepper was going to end up murdering them both at the rate they were going.

Talking was maybe not the way to go here, so Bucky gave up on them for a while. Using his hold on Tony’s hand, he carefully pulled the shorter man into his chest and settled his chin on the top of his head. Tony melted against him almost immediately and wrapped his free arm around Bucky’s waist. They both took a deep breath at almost the same time, and he couldn’t help but start to chuckle. Tony started laughing a few seconds later, and Bucky let go of his hand to wrap both arms around him instead. Moving carefully, he backed them up until he could lean back against the wall, fingers rubbing gentle circles into Tony’s back.

“Pepper’s my new favorite,” he murmured at last. “I’m going to bring her presents so I’m in her good graces when she eventually takes over the world.” Tony snorted, then pressed his nose against Bucky’s neck.

“Why can’t I be your favorite?”

“… you’re my favorite when it comes to things of a relation-date-ship-romantic stuff,” Bucky said after a moment of thought. “Don’t wanna kiss Pepper the way I wanna kiss you, that’s for sure. She’s more my favorite potential future dictator.”

“She would be a just and fair ruler,” Tony allowed, shifting his hands to rest them on Bucky’s hips. “So… you do wanna kiss me?”

“Wanna kiss the fuck out of you.”

“Why didn’t you, you know… do anything about that?”

“I didn’t think you wanted to kiss me.”

“Dude. Really? Pep and Rhodey have been teasing me about you for weeks. I thought you were, you know, politely ignoring it.”

“No… I thought you didn’t realize that they were teasing me.” Tony pulled back just enough that they could stare at each other in disbelief. Pepper was right - they were both idiots. Bucky huffed out a quiet laugh, then shrugged one shoulder. “Okay, so your friends were too subtle, and my friends were like a wrecking ball to the face.”

“Oh my God, I wanted to die.”

“Me too. … I wanted you to come after me when I left,” he admitted quietly, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Or at least say I wasn’t bothering you, or that me coming here wasn’t a waste.”

“… I didn’t know how to do it without shoving the crush I thought was hopeless in your face. And then you were just gone, and I had no idea how to find you.”

“Well we can’t have that. We’re swapping numbers before I head out. And, uh. Do you wanna make a da–”

“Yes! Yes to that. That’s what I tried to say yes to earlier, only then you acted like maybe you weren’t trying to ask me out so I got really embarrassed and there were a whole bunch of people watching which, you know, was kind of great. Especially when you took that other shirt off,” he emphasized the words by skimming his hands up and then down Bucky’s arms. “Like, they’re all super jealous of me now, and it was kind of romantic, declaring your all-consuming love for me in front of so many people–”

“Woah, hold on. I wanna date you, kiss the fuck outta you and maybe get to know you well enough to fall in love and all that junk. 'All-consuming love’ at first sight is for like… Romeo and Juliet. I want something real.” Tony was gaping at him, and Bucky shrugged self-consciously. “Or. Uh. Something like that.”

“That is so much better, and yes please. So before you leave we’ll set up a date and get each other’s numbers, right?

"Yup.”

“You like me and I like you, and we’re gonna date - exclusively - with the aim of maybe making it a long term thing. Right?”

“Mm. That’s the idea. You cool with that?”

“So cool. Like, ice age cool. Details are sorted, kiss the fuck out of me now please.” Grinning, Bucky cupped the nape of Tony’s neck, toying with the ends of Tony’s hair. When he didn’t immediately go in for the kiss, Tony began to pout at him, then lifted up onto his toes to steal one of his own. Bucky evaded the attempts several times, then swooped in to catch Tony’s mouth in a kiss that turned heated in a matter of moments. After all the dancing around they’d done, Bucky was very okay with diving into the deep end when it came to physical displays of affection.

When Pepper came to check on them twenty minutes later, Tony was sitting on one counter, shirt rucked up so Bucky could run his hands over bare skin. Bucky himself was locked between Tony’s legs, tank top on the floor and Tony’s heels digging into the back of his thighs. They were both breathless with new bruises on their necks that showed they were taken, kiss-bruised lips never leaving each other for long.

She wasn’t too impressed with their lack of concern when it came to keeping food surfaces sanitary, but Bucky didn’t mind the lecture they got. He wasn’t even fazed when she ordered him to help Tony wipe the kitchen down; the way he whistled while he worked seemed to actively irritate her.

Why would he give a shit when he had an all-day date with Tony set up for Saturday and a box full of treats to apologize to his roommates with?

Life was good, and he was really glad Tony had decided to sell fucking cakes.

#anonymous prompt #my writing #my fic #winteriron #Tony Stark #Bucky Barnes #Tony Stark x Bucky Barnes #non-powered au #Tony has a bakery #they're both oblivious #boys in love #boys kissing

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