#gonna try to roll thee out slowly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lwybthescreenplay · 2 years

Text

8:33 am July 3rd

Act I : The Voice Notes

As the sun beamed in on a warm early morning, the cars drove by, the crows cawed melodically while "LOVE" from the Damn album by Kendrick Lamar passed through my mind. "I'm thinking about you again" is what I say to myself. "FUCK!"

Cut to : Mystery Woman pacing back and forth out of her bathroom in her High Rise Apartment in Atlantis.

She just found out she's pregnant after taking 10 different tests.

Here's the catch... She's been celibate for a while... DAMN.

Mystery Woman : LACE! Fuuuuck. What did my baby do? HOW? UGHHH!

She paces faster around her house as her sister Jasmine tries to calm her down

Jasmine : Um.. I think you should... Um I need a minute

Mystery Woman tries hard not to bite on her freshly painted coffin nails in distress

MW: DAMN. DAMNIT. UGH. FUCK. I don't know what to tell her

Jasmine : HER?

Mystery Woman hides her face while slowly backing away into her bathroom like the Homer Simpson Bush Gif

Jasmine slowly sits down, then gets back up quick in confusion.

Jasmine : What do you mean HER??

MW giggles uncontrollably with no remorse. Her sister is concerned and inches closer to the bathroom as she starts clapping in the mirror.

MW: Bravo, Beloved. Bravo.

The bathroom light flickers softly as she collects composure. Jasmine holds on to the door frame and peaks in absolute curiosity while MW puts her hand on the mirror and one on her Womb.

Jasmine slightly scared and very intimidating gulps

Jasmine replies in the softest voice "What do you mean... HER?... "

MW turns her head to her sister while smiling

MW : It's SITNALTA TIME

She quickly wets her face and starts brushing her teeth

MW : Don't be frightened, it's Monday for her, so this is dead the fuck ass just a regular Monday

She tries not to giggle but can't help but saying "She's Looney"

She turns her head to the side while giggling uncontrollably and touching her Womb with tenderness

MW as she sighs with relief : "she's my Looney Bear"

Jasmine : Finish brushing your teeth please! It's muffled and on some real shit she sent too many messages to you. That shit is fucking off

MW spits and puts her tongue out to brush it anxiously and says : well no shit. She shot my club up. Duh.

Jasmine pulls her up quick the toothbrush falls and MW watches her shook

Jasmine : What does that even meeeeaaaaaan??

MW looking at the toothbrush says in a soft voice : That's unsanitary.

She slowly starts to tear up while holding herself. Jasmine watches her and realizes that there's an air of innocence she hasn't seen ever on her sister. "HOLY FUCK" her sister mouthed

MW : Exactly. See! You understand now. Can you kinda let me go now?

Jasmine still in very much confusion let's her sister go and picks up her toothbrush. She grabs one of the many tests, puts the toilet seat down and sits down... So ... You're pregnant?

MW nods and rinses out her mouth

Are you sure sure?

MW looks at her and rolls her eyes while caressing her phone screen

Why ... Why are you doing that?

MW : Well Looney Bear needed to get naughty because she's been too good but there's been what we thought were only 4 bratty douches literally trying to murder her to eat her vagina as an aphrodisiac

Jasmine clenches the toilet and screams "WHAT?!?"

MW hugs her phone nodding in sadness trying not to cry

MW : they tried to kill my Lyre

Jasmine: hold up...

Silence fills the room as the lights starts to flicker

MW sighs, looks into the mirror and says calmly while placing the phone on the mirror

MW : Tweeka TWEEK HADOUKEN.

Jasmine giggles and ask what was that?

MW : Idiots who blew up her ACTUAL soul and are reaaaally trying to end her before their consequences get to them. She's actually THEE Virgo the Tarot talks about... Idk how she's all the signs right now but it's... Clutch as fuck not gonna lie

Jasmine face palms and sighs while laughing

Jasmine : you are off your rockets man. I wanna meet her. Can we met her?

MW: well... It's them?

Jasmine gets up fast in curiosity

MW: Well first of all... She's married... Twice now

She said as she smirks to the mirror and whispers "return to sender" then knocks on the mirror 4 times

Jasmine is shook

MW puts her phone down on the bathroom counter

Jasmine : um...girl?

MW: We... We have to go to France...

Jasmine giggling and busts out in a dance screaming "How?!"

MW: Well... We caught 22.

Jasmine moonwalking out of her bathroom saying "I don't know what it means but I needed a vacation"

MW following her out the bathroom laughing picking on her like when they were younger, older sisters never really change, they'll always be that little devil steering you right.

MW: dance battle!

Jasmine : bet?

MW : wait! But first... I kinda need to- she clears her throat and softly says "DND"

Jasmine stops dancing and shakes her head while grabbing her keys "I don't need to know what that means"

MW : stares up to her ceiling... She hears wedding bells... Aww baby

She sits down

Jasmine still very confused : dude! I don't care! I'ma go get some stuff, no way! I'm an aunt now! I don't care! Bye! Bye!

MW: looks out at the view and stares at the purple Talarias hugging her pillow blushing, she gently wipes her tear.

I knew you loved me more, but not like this... Fine ! Let's go.

She gets up and goes to her bathroom, goes on Air France and orders the first plane ticket to Clermont-Ferrand France, she sighs while shaking her head in disbelief at the prices

Oh that's why you were telling me to hurry my ass up.... Oh... Oh- she throws up in her bathroom sink again, grips it hard, spits and immediately rinses her mouth out.

FUCK IT! whatever is needed to stop this fucking chiffonade

She bites her lip and talks to herself softly

Baby, I know you're horny... Stop playing with me like that... Ugh you're the shittiest spy ever. FUCK! You win! You won!

She grips the sink harder and let's go in ecstasy as she holds on to her chest . Her Looney Bear is thinking about her a lot... thinking about her to death...

MW : la petite mort... Lovely

She rinses her face off one last time giggling, grabs her towel and looks in the mirror and drops it in surprise, it knocks her back and she collapses on her toilet, she orgasms on the spot "DADDY! WAIT. Fuuuuck!"

Jasmine confusedly looks at her, MW jumps embarrassed and hides her face behind her hands

MW: I thought you left... Oh noooo

Jasmine laughing uncontrollably "oh you got it baaaad

MW gets up quickly and tells her sister to get out politely

Jasmine backs up in surprise

MW: what?

Jasmine : um... Your eyes are blue?

MW : fuck is you talming about nigga?

Jasmine : Nah ho, fuck is you talking about?

MW : wait... Wait...

She slowly backs into the bathroom and looks in the mirror

MW: oh... GAME ON!

Jasmine : I like Looney Bear!

MW: oh... You're gonna like her even more.. but first.. um... We need a family meeting... There's... Things we have to... Listen to

Jasmine nodding in instigation : oh I like her... I liker ass a lot

MW bites her lip and asks... You wanna see what she looks like?

Jasmine : nah... I wanna film that airport first meeting. I don't wanna know ANYTHING

MW : what day is it? Oh no no

She paces to her room and looks at the bag of gifts she bought for her Looney Bear

She hugs herself in amazement. FUCK ME ACE! she yells to herself

Jasmine casually records her sister

Jasmine : oh she's fun

MW : A.F.

MW turns her head and realizes that her sister is recording her.

MW: Go to your room man!

Jasmine : nah, I like this new you

MW sits on her bed and sighs profusely

MW : Looney Bear, what did you do?

Jasmine : So... When are we leaving?

MW: in 6 hours. I'm NOT doing 4th of July here. Plus, there's money I gotta give her.

Jasmine : what?

MW: Pussy, Money, Weed boo. That's my au pair. Get in on it babe. We been woke

Jasmine tilts her head in intrigue.

Jasmine : so that bag?

MW : she's gonna come for it

Jasmine: what?

MW : oh we're not spending 4th of July here. Plus her husband has been complaining about being broke for the longest

Jasmine walks straight to window and opens it and screams "what the fuck?!"

MW eyebrow lifts slowly

MW: she's cool like that

Jasmine : HOLD UP.

MW lays back on her bed, grabs small paintings from under her pillow and holds them dear to her heart

Jasmine : WHO IS SHE

MW : My Au Pair

Jasmine : that's not helping

MW : whatever. We just have to get dad, mom and well you get it. We have to listen to specific voice notes and fly out. But we'll be back by Friday. We have to spook the world

Jasmine starts smirking

Jasmine : oh I looove Looney Bear now

MW : Match made in heaven, right?

Jasmine : absofuckinglutely

MW : LaFrancé

Jasmine : wait... So... You're french now?

MW nods while covering her face with the paintings

MW : She's coming over by Thursday and she's not gonna be here... Not yet... I need to get some stuff done. But pack your bags, we're visiting Salem

Jasmine yells "Salem?!?"

MW nods while giggling

Jasmine : DUDE! NO WAY NO WAY!

MW : let's go. That's enough. Just pack a few things. We're gonna go back and forth for a bit until we find the rhythm

Jasmine : oh.. I LOVE THIS NEW YOU

Jasmine slow claps and yells out the window "BRAVO LOONEY BEAR"

MW : NIGGA!

jasmine quickly closes the windows and realizes she ticked her sister off and rushes to her room while calling her best friend

MW : MAH NIGGA. REALLY? Can you at least close the door?!

She sighs, gets up, closes her door and locks it.

Theres a coolness in the air that lingers... MW realizes that sometimes the greatest gift come from the most unexpected places.

MW : You're mine. You've always been... See you this Tuesday... At the Mercure hotel in Clermont Ferrand. Enough is enough plus I'm tired of stalking you on those anon apps. I'm sorry I'm so shy.. you caught me my Looney Pooh... Together forever. Fuck it! Good thing I saved that playlist before you'd self destruct... Ugh! STAHP with the whining I'm coming over Mars! UGH. My baby warned meee. Whatever.

I need a nap.

Done at 11:11 am.

1 note · View note

ss-wingman · 3 years

Note

Melone, ghiaccio and risotto meeting fem reader's rly fluffy and affectionate cat.

Melone isn't really a cat person. He doesn't appreciate their claws and shedding fur ruining his clothes and all of his exposed skin, but he plays along if it means impressing his s/o. The kitty jumps right on his lap as soon as he sits down and starts kneading and pawing at him. He tries to pull it off, but the persistent baby just jumps right back up, seeking some attention. He attempts to avoid her every time he comes over.

Ghiaccio likes cats. When yours starts circling around his legs as he enters your house, he bends down to pet it, but that's enough. The kitty follows you both, demanding more attention.

“I'm sorry, they get like this when I'm gone all day.”

“I don't mind.”

Every time Ghiaccio's over, he makes sure to give the cats plenty of pets and will even pick her up if he's just there to hang out.

Risotto also enjoys the company of cats. He sometimes scares them, so he's a bit surprised when yours comes right to him and nestles against his pant leg. He picks the cat up and scratches behind the ears. Of course, they swat at the baubles on his hat. He's used to that. Like Ghiaccio, he always makes an effort to give the little sweetie some attention when he comes around.

#gonna try to roll thee out slowly #anon #ghiaccio #risotto #melone

32 notes · View notes

360iris · 3 years

Text

Cry Baby (Sirius Black x Reader x Remus Lupin SMUT)

Warnings: Daddy kink, ddlg relationship. Subspace mention. Vaginal and anal penetration.

Word count: 1,136

Summary: The boys haven’t been letting you finish but you finally get what you asked for.

A/N: Worked like a snail on this piece, blame my new obsession with Megan Thee Stallion.

Remus holds your arms tight behind your back while Sirius has a vice grip on your throat. You stick out your chin indignantly as you meet his gaze. He chuckles darkly and you huff irritatedly at the sardonic smile on his lips

“Put up as much of a fight as you want, Y/N. You think that’ll deter me? I’ll have you crying for me to fuck you soon enough.” All hints of amusement have left his face and all that remains is a dark glint. Onyx hair framing his cheeks perfectly and you try to rally your spirits, but he’s damn scary.

Your attitude slowly ebbing away every second you’re stuck under his cold gaze. However this couldn’t all be for nothing. He and Remus had been intentionally denying you from finishing for an entire week. Regardless of the act they were putting on, you knew they wanted to see how far they could push you.

They’d brought you to the edge on multiple occasions and each time you’d thought it’d be the exception. And each time, it wasn’t. You had a right to be furious. You had a right to raise hell.

Feeling that fire return, you clock the look of recognition that flashes across Sirius’ face at the change in your demeanor. If they weren’t going to make this easy, neither would you.

“You know what makes me the most pissed? The fact that no matter how well you put on the act of being so inconvenienced by my oh-so-sudden defiance, you wanted me to get like this.” You glare up at him and he only raises a brow in response so you continue.

“Just admit it, Si. You don’t want a good girl who lets you fuck her however. If you did, I think you’d treat me better.” You roll your eyes and both boy’s grips on you tighten.

“You want to be treated better, doll?” Remus quips, his lips warm against your ear.

Keeping a hold of your wrists with one hand, he slips the other under your skirt. Quickly discovering your lack of underwear, he pinches your butt sharply. Slowly tutting but obviously amused.

“Walked around campus all day, just waiting for the next strong wind so that someone, anyone, could finally pay attention to your dumb little cunt? Isn’t that right, baby?” His voice is barely above a whisper, brushing a calloused thumb over your clit.

And though your hips give an uncontrollable jerk in response, you smirk. Pressing back against his chest.

“Well someone was going to fuck me today, I was making sure of it.” You reply to Remus, but your eyes are trained on the boy in front of you.

“You’re a slut.” Sirius sneers but you preen under his scrutiny.

“And you love it, Si.” You retort smugly.

“You’re really pushing our patience, but you’ll get what you want, Y/N. Hope you’ll be able to take it because otherwise I don’t think you’ll be having as much fun as you thought.” Remus whispers into your hair.

Before long you’re leaning against Sirius, his tip pushing into your ass. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip to keep down a whimper. The stretch was beyond pleasurable, but the moment Remus plunges into your heat, euphoric moans fill the room.

“That didn’t last long.” Remus taunts with a firm thrust. His eyes scan your features as he begins massaging your bud in quick circles.

“Remus!” You whine but Sirius bites hard into your neck in response. Your body is thrumming with pleasure, all the stimulation rabidly overwhelming your senses.

“Try again.” He reprimands with a buck of his hips.

You hated that you couldn’t stay silent. You wanted to make them work for it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You babble back and the boys, as though in sync, fuck harder into you. The pressure on your clit increases and you feel your climax beginning to build.

“What are you supposed to call me?” Remus’ hips are unwavering, even as your arousal drips down his length and thighs.

When you fail to answer, he pinches your bud between his thumb and knuckle, a wail falls from your lips.

“Daddy!”

And even as your brain muddles, you register how good it feels to address him properly. A different form of pleasure washes over you after brandishing him with the title.

The tears you were fighting to keep under check finally streaking across your cheeks and Remus watches as you’re suddenly grasping to wrap your arms around his neck.

“There’s my baby.” He coos, clocking your switch.

“Little slut was holding on the best she could.” Sirius laughs, adjusting his grip on your thighs. Bringing your knees up further to your chest, their cocks slipping further into you.

Remus chides him but you don't miss the smirk blooming on his face. “My babygirl loves having both her holes fucked at once? Felt so good you couldn’t help but slip into subspace, huh doll?”

“Mhm! Feels too good, Daddy!” You mumble, slipping your middle and ring finger into your mouth in-between moans.

“Look at you all fucked out. Don’t have a single thought in that head of yours anymore, do you? Sucking on your little fingers trying to keep your mouth busy? Sweet girl.” Remus presses a kiss to your temple as you gargle out whimpers, the tenderness of his lips drastically contrasting the force of the boys jackhammering into you.

You feel light headed as a warmth spreads from your heat to your tummy.

“I’m gonna- oh! Daddy!”

Sirius snorts at your desperate cries, tilting his head to nip at your neck.

“Gonna come on my cock, baby? Make me all nice and wet? Can you do that for me?” Remus asks, rubbing your clit ferociously even as you buck wildly from the sensation.

A short squeak is all that escapes your lips as Sirius brings a hand up to your throat.

Squeezing your eyes shut tight, the intensity of your orgasm almost ejecting your spirit from your body. Your vision turns white and you’re unable to process anything past the high pitched ringing in your ears.

The boys watch as your muscles immediately tense.

Remus laughs as his lower half is showered in your arousal. Sticky droplets cascading down his legs and pooling on the sheets.

“Did she- fuck!” Sirius starts but cuts off his question with a pleased groan.

“She’s so wet. If you could feel it, Si. Has me slipping in and out so easily but still so tight!”

As your consciousness resurfaces, you’re brought back by their continued thrusts.

“Nu-uh! Don’t try to run from our cocks, slut.” Sirius growls, grip tightening to keep your squirming to a minimum.

“You wanted this, remember? Now shut up and take it.”

#marauders x reader #sirius black smut #sirius black x reader #sirius black #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin smut #the marauders #marauders smut #poly marauders #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #harry potter blurb #hp #hp blurb #hp imagine

2K notes · View notes

baejl · 3 years

Text

traumatic

twice 10th member au

jade causing a chaos, unintentionally.

WARNING: bone fractures

[hi guysss! so, i’m starting detentionclub’s posts this weekend - tomorrow lol - but i need you guys to tell me what would like to read about them. like, they in a practice, recording together... you know, those things that always show up in some reality shows. whatever, i hope you guys enjoy this chaotic post! 💚]

masterlist 👽 requests are open feedback is awalys important to me!

"One, and two, and thee..." Momo counted as they were going through the whole choreography once again.

They were supposed home about two hours ago, but with the comeback as ten again right around the corner, Jihyo wanted everything to be more than perfect which means, they had to make some extra practices.

This time, they were rehearsing with no music, just Momo and Jihyo counting the steps so they could match the moves.

"Geuleoni han beon deo..." Nayeon mumbled as they got in their final positions.

"More." Sana mocked the bass voice at the end, making the serious mood fade away with the girls laughing.

Jade whined as she sat on the floor next to Chaeyoung, breathing hard as she was fanning herself with her shirt. Crawling to her bag, she felt alive again when she drank the cold water on her bottle.

"I think we should go once again." Jihyo said, also breathing hard, and the ten girls groaned. "Come on, guys!"

"Calm down, woman." Jade said, desperate for a break.

"My legs are acting by themselves." Jeongyeon said, giggling.

"One more and we're done." Momo suggested, showing her pinky to Jihyo. Jihyo nodded and linked their fingers together. "Let's go from the pre-chorus."

Clapping her hands in a fail attempt to make the girls a bit more excited, Jihyo got up and went to the computer to restart the song from the pre-chorus.

Taking a look from the mirror, Jade noticed how tired she was looking. She was waking as if something was pulling her down, feeling her shoulders tensing and her feet starting to ache. She got on the formation and waited for the girls.

When she was raising her hand to do the 'more' step on Sana's part, she felt something weird on her shoulder. But it was on Jihyo's part - when they had to bring their shoulder down - that the chaos happened.

Jade felt a severe pain going through her left shoulder to her arm, and she couldn't avoid screaming and leaning back on the wall.

"Jade-ya!" Sana, who saw everything from the mirror, screamed back. When Jade took her hand out of her shoulder, Sana hissed and looked away. "OH MY GOD!"

"WHAT IS THAT?" Nayeon asked, also shocked.

"So that's how a dislocated shoulder looks like..." Chaeyoung said, amazed.

"What happened?" Mina asked, trying to get what was going on.

"Her shoulder dislocated." Tzuyu said.

"Guys-"

"WHAT DO WE DO NOW?" Sana said, freaking out and reaching her hand to touch Jade but pulling it away every time.

"SHE'S STARTING TO GET PALE!" Nayeon said, waving Jade's face.

"SHOULD WE CALL-" Jihyo was about to say something when Jade screamed over her tone.

"GUYS!" they all stopped and looked at her. "I don't need you to freak out, I need you to help me."

"But how do we help you? Your shoulder is literary out of your body." Momo exclaimed, pointing at her shoulder.

Jade sighed, feeling the pain on her shoulder spreading through her whole arm and body. She calmly and slowly sat on the floor, groaning as she laid her body on the ground.

"Jeongyeon unnie, come here please." Jade called her.

"Why me?" the girl asked, hidding behind Tzuyu.

Jade hissed and rolled her eyes.

"Can someone, please, help me put my shoulder back?"

"I'll do it." the saviour, Dahyun, raised her hand. She sat on her tights next to Jade. "What do I have to do?"

"I'm gonna put your feet here..." Jade said, placing Dahyun's feet on the side of her left breast. With that simple pressure, Jade groaned.

"Oh..." Dahyun said, flinching. "Are you sure you don't have to go to the hospital?"

"I need to put this thing back before going to the hospital, Dahyun!" Jade exclaimed.

"Okay! Don't be mad at me!" Dahyun debated. "What's next?"

"It might feel weird, but you're not gonna jerk it, you're just gonna pull it." Jade said, demonstrating how Dahyun should do with her empty hand.

"Pull what? My leg?" Dahyun asked, startled.

"HER ARM!" the girls watching said together.

"You're gonna kind of roll it into your right." Jade tried to say something but even the smallest movement seemed like a torture. "A gradual wave motion to your right. Did you understand?"

"I think so." Dahyun nodded, gently grabbing Jade's arm and then asking the girls. "Are you ready?"

When Jade looked up, they were all crowded in a semi circle, Sana and Chaeyoung with their cellphone, recording everything.

They nodded and Dahyun turned her attention back to Jade's shoulder.

"Just do it slow and I'll be fine." Jade said in a sigh.

"Here we go."

Doing as Jade told her, with her feet helping, Dahyun pulled Jade's arm slowly into her right. A few seconds after and a lot of Jade’s curses, they heard a 'pop' and Jade's shoulder was back in place.

The other seven girls started cheering and clapping as Mina helped Jade to get up, and Dahyun was still on the floor.

"Ya, you did it!" Jade said, laughing and rubbing Dahyun's head.

"That was the weirdest thing I've ever felt in my whole life." Dahyun mumbled, blinking before finally looking at Jade. "How can you live with that?"

"It's a part of me at this point." Jade answered her.

Even though her shoulder was already in place, it was still sore and Jade was still walking as if something was pulling it down.

"That was better than watching a drama." Tzuyu said, laughing.

"I think Dahyun will need to go to the hospital too." Jihyo pointed at the girl, still on the floor.

Dahyun was looking directly to her hand, as if it was something sacred.

"I'm... traumatized."

223 notes · View notes

butmakeitgayblog · 3 years

Text

City of Angels: Just a Little Doped Up

Also available on AO3

///////////////////

Lexa ached seeing her wife in pain.

Ached.

The weeks leading up to the big day had left Lexa feeling emotionally drained; a jittery ball of nerves bouncing from one room of their apartment to the next, testing out any and every remedy she could come up with to alleviate her wife's discomfort. Weeding through half-hearted protests of, "I'm fine," and diligently argued pleas of, "I'll do it later," Lexa clawed, begged, borrowed, and stole her way to this particular finish line.

After a month of grumbled fights and empty threats of a contentious divorce if Clarke didn't stop rescheduling, Lexa could only manage a haphazard sigh at being on the receiving end of her wife's icy glare when they'd finally led her away.

Because Clarke had eventually agreed to the procedure, albeit with an air of begrudging resignation, having spent the days leading up to the appointment grumpily preparing Lexa for what to expect.

And she thought she did know what to expect. Lexa had fully anticipated the swollen cheeks and glazed eyes that greeted her when the nurse had called her back. She'd expected the blood tinted dribble of drool that leaked from the lax hang of her wife's mouth. Even the wobbly chin and glistening sheen of tears upon seeing her again didn't lead Lexa to think a single thing was amiss.

But this?

She certainly hadn't anticipated this.

"Who the hell is that?"

"Pardon?" Lexa mumbled in return as she continued to read through the clipboard in her hands, a sigh escaping her at the fifth question in a row.

"I thaaaid," Clarke pushed out with a glassy roll of her eyes, "who the hell is that?"

Slowly dragging her eyes up for a moment Lexa flashed a pleading, yet overly-saccharine, look of love at her wife.

"Clarke?" she said as sweetly as she could manage.

"Hu?"

"Shhh. Just for a little bit, okay?"

Lexa watched an affronted frown pull at her wife's lips, cheeks stuffed with enough gauze to render any threat from the look quite moot. Shooting the disgruntled love of her life another smile, Lexa turned back to the discharge sheet she'd been attempting to fill out.

"Is she always this… lively?"

A cough of laughter jumped from Lexa's chest as she dotted the final 'i' in her last name. Handing the clipboard back to the waiting nurse, Lexa grinned over at the woman now fighting through a series of torturous looking blinks.

"You have no idea," she whispered. "But this is rare form, for sure. You'd think a doctor would-"

"Oh no," the nurse, Monroe, interrupted, shaking her head ruefully as she moved to slip the clipboard in its holder. "Doctors make the worst patients. If they're not pulling the MD card on you, they--"

"Heeey you. C'mere."

"-- Act like a fool?" Lexa finished for her, tossing an exasperated look toward the caregiver in charge.

Turning to the sound of her wife's call, Lexa had to swallow the urge to laugh. Despite Clarke's best attempt at what Lexa knew to be her sultry voice of seduction, the growing puddle of spittle escaping the loose sling of her mouth was enough to kill any hope of that particular mood.

"Yes, my love?" she soothed anyway, rolling the wheeled stool she sat on over to catch her wife's searching hand. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah," Clarke hummed, her words sticky, and slow, and slurred. "There's thit in my mouf."

"It's gauze, sweetheart," Lexa said, leaning down to press the whisper of a kiss to the swollen curve of Clarke's jaw. "You had your wisdom teeth taken out."

"They took my teef?!"

Seeing the flash of indignant anger in Clarke's eyes, Lexa immediately moved to intercept Clarke's free hand that had sluggishly tried, and failed, to fly up to her mouth.

"You asked them to, remember? They were hurting you."

Clarke shook her head, her eyes turning watery along with her words. "I wouldn't do that."

"I promise ya, hun," the nurse chuckled as she moved to Clarke's other side. "You did."

"But I hate doctorth."

"Amen, sister," Monroe hummed as she took Clarke's wrist and did a final check of her vitals.

Lexa watched as Clarke's eyes seemed to spin in their sockets for a moment before landing on her again, a smile blooming on Lexa's lips at her wife's adorable befuddlement.

"I lub you," Clarke slurred with doe-eyed conviction, picking her head up just to have it fall back a second later. Letting her wandering gaze loop around to her opposite side, baby-blues turned to the nurse instead. "I lub her, ya know."

"I should hope so," the nurse grinned as she placed Clarke's hand back down. "Otherwise the whole marriage thing would be kinda awkward."

"Yeah," Clarke said in a lazy sigh. "That'd be weird… Like we were straight--."

"Okay, Clarke," Lexa tried, shooting Monroe an apologetic smile. "Why don't we just-"

"But I'm in lub with her," she rolled on, pausing for a moment to noisily smack her obviously numb lips. "She's an angel, ya know?"

"She seems like it."

"No. No," Clarke shook her head defiantly. "You don't get it."

Releasing a nervous laugh, Lexa squeezed the hand in her grip in warning. "Clarke--"

"She's an angel. Like with the flappy wingth one. A halo and… 'N a harp, I think. Birkenstockth."

"Well those are certainly all words," Monroe smiled down at the babbling patient.

"She fell down a cliff to lub me," Clarke crooned in high-pitched broken words, her lip starting to tremble again with emotion.

Running a soothing hand through blonde hair, Lexa shook her head at the nurse holding back laughter as she stood to lean over her doped-up wife. "Clarke, sweetheart, shhhh, okay? We're gonna be going home in a minute, so just rest. If you talk too much, the swelling will be worse."

"Thee, look," Clarke said, ignoring Lexa entirely as she flopped a hand in the general direction of Lexa's face. "She's still got a lil thcar on her eye... I kith it when she's thleeping."

Head rolling back towards the nurse, Clarke looked up with a deadpan warning.

"Don't tell her that though."

"It'll be our little secret," Monroe winked before moving toward the door. "Okay, Mrs. Griffin, I'm gonna go get you the rest of your aftercare info and a wheelchair, and then you can get this one home."

Lexa breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thanks, Monroe."

"No problem, just sit tight."

The door clicked shut as the woman left, Lexa taking her seat again to fire off a text to Raven to let her know they'd be done soon. A hush fell over the room as she slid her phone back into her pocket before lifting her head… and seeing her wife glaring daggers at the closed door.

"What?"

Blue eyes rolled to her with what Lexa supposed could be defined as righteous indignation.

"I think that bith was flirtin' with me."

"Clarke," Lexa gasped and her mouth dropped open. "Do not call her that."

"She got all winky with me," Clarke argued, mimicking the move by seductively winking with both eyes. "I know what that meansth."

"Sweetheart, she was not flirting with you."

"She's trying to busth up a happy home. Make me get a divorce."

"She wasn't. She just thought you were being goofy."

"I'm not goofy… You're goofy."

Lexa simply sighed. "I am goofy, you're right."

"I know," Clarke nodded as Lexa tucked back a wayward curl behind Clarke's ear. "... 'N fuckin' 'winky' out there-"

"Clarke, stop."

"You tell her to sthop," Clarke frowned. "I'm married and she nid- no- needs to knock it off."

"I'll tell her that, okay?"

Clarke merely sighed, head falling to the side as stared over at Lexa through several slow blinks. "I can't feel my lipth."

"They're still there. Pretty as ever."

"I think they took my tongue away."

"I hope not. Definitely need that for later."

Clarke perked up at that.

"Are we gonna have thex later?"

"No," Lexa chuckled. "You're high as a kite, love. And you're going to be in a lot of pain in just a little bit, so I think it's gonna be a while before-"

Her words cut off as Clarke's bottom lips scrunched together, eyes filling with tears yet again.

"Oh, don't cry," Lexa hushed through a laugh as she scooted closer, carefully cradling her wife's face in her palms. She swept the pad of her thumb along the delicate row of lashes, collecting the dewy droplets before they could fall.

"You don't wanna have thex with me anymore," Clarke sniffled.

"I always want to have sex with you, Clarke," Lexa assured with a smile, rolling her eyes at the entire trainwreck of a conversation. "But you just had surgery, so for now you have to heal first."

"... Heal first?"

"Yes," Lexa nodded definitively. "Heal first, then sex. I promise."

Clarke seemed to debate the matter for a moment, her eyes shifting in and out of focus as Lexa ran fingers through the tendrils of her hair.

"Okay," Clarke finally conceded, giving a lazy shrug of her shoulder as all traces of sadness suddenly vanished from her face.

Lexa snorted as she pulled back, glad to have seemingly navigated that particular minefield successfully. A quiet knock on the door pulled her attention away as the door eased open and Monroe walked backward into the room.

"Alright, Clarke," she announced, pivoting around to pull a wheelchair up to the side of the recovery chair. "Your chariot awaits, m'lady."

"Oh look, winky'th back. Mleeeh."

Monroe's face pulled to the side in confusion, her gaze darting to Lexa who could only close her eyes and shake her head in answer. Biting her lips to seemingly hold back an amused response, the nurse gave a tiny nod of understanding as she moved to help the patient currently losing a battle with a blanket.

"Alrighty. Anyway. Ready to head home, Mrs. Griffin?"

"Griffin-Woodth," Clarke immediately groaned as she lumbered to her feet, one arm hooked through Lexa's while the other elbowed the nurse away. "We're a team."

Monroe lifted her hands up in surrender when Lexa grunted against Clarke's struggling and gave up on their coaxing method of transport, instead moving to wrap an arm around Clarke's waist to bodily shuffle her into the wheelchair. Easing her wife down in the seat, Lexa dodged a sloppy kiss aimed at her cheek.

"Hang on, sweetheart, you're bleeding again," she rushed out before Clarke could become emotionally unglued at her rebuff, mechanically moving to ransack the sterile tray still off to the side to grab a few fresh bundles of gauze.

Squatting down, Lexa tipped Clarke's head forward by her chin, thanking everything holy when her wife let her mouth fall open at her urging. Swapping out the soaked gauze for fresh ones and escaping unscathed from the teasing nip of teeth at her fingers, Lexa tenderly wiped Clarke's chin clean before tossing the rolls in the biohazard bin and moving to wash her hands.

"Well at least we know she's all set for home aftercare," Monroe said with a grin as Lexa shook her hands off and wiped them dry on a few paper towels.

Ears pinking at the statement, Lexa ditched the towels in the bin as well and made her way back over. "Yeah, sorry. Force of habit. Working inside of a hospital and being married to a doctor for four years, you just kinda get used to it."

"A lot of spouses can be a little put-off by the blood and drool."

"She drools when she sleeps anyway," Lexa shrugged, gathering up the paperwork they needed and stuffing them inside Clarke's purse. Placing the bag over her shoulder, Lexa leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her wife's forehead. "You ready to go home, love?"

"Mhmmmm," Clarke hummed with a dopey bob of her head.

Lexa held the door open as the nurse started wheeling Clarke out, her eyes doing a scan of the room to make sure they had everything. A quick jog let her catch up to the pair as they neared the patient checkout, Clarke babbling Monroe's ear off the entire way.

"Hey, sexy," a voice shouted as the doors of the clinic slid open. "Get your fine ass over here."

Lexa smiled at the call as she looked up from the soggy flow of words her wife was directing at seemingly no one in particular.

"Wabeeeen," Clarke called back in a throaty haze of excitement, her head and hand not holding an ice-pack wobbling back and forth in a bizarre kind of drugged-up celebration dance. "Baby, Waben's here."

"I know," Lexa said as Monroe wheeled them toward the SUV parked by the curb. "She drove us here. And now she's gonna give us a ride home, remember?"

"That'th nice of her... She's tho nice," Clarke sniffled as they pulled to a stop. Lexa could barely hold back a sputter of laughter at that, giving Clarke a conciliatory nod.

"Sure she is. We'll go with that."

"Jesus, Griff, what'd they do to you?"

Lexa's head snapped up to level their friend with a warning glare after blue eyes turned to her and started welling up all over again.

"Because ya look great!" Raven very expertly added, pulling her lips back in apology before spinning around toward her car and opening the door. "Okay, let's get you up and in, princess. Chop chop."

Scoffing at that pathetic display, Lexa pulled the purse off of her shoulder and shoved it in Raven's general direction as she rounded to the front of the wheelchair.

"You ready to get in, love?" she asked as she squatted down in front of her wife. "Me and Monroe are gonna help, okay?"

"No."

"Clarke--"

"I can walk mythelf."

"Let us help."

"You really shouldn't walk by yourself, Mrs. Griffin."

Clarke scowled at the nurse, a mumbled "Griffin-Woodth" floating between them as Lexa straightened back up.

"Don't make me do it, Clarke."

Blue eyes swung back around to her, a defiant glint coloring them… once they'd stopped rolling in Clarke's head.

"You're gonna be mad at yourself later," Lexa reminded. She waited a long moment as her wife stubbornly stared back. Shoulders slumping in defeat, Lexa stepped aside with a sigh and nodded toward the car.

Raven smiled and shook her head as she raised a knuckle and rapped twice on the darkened window.

"You owe me five bucks, Woods," Raven said as the door popped open.

"Yeah, yeah," Lexa frowned and shuffled aside to make room. "Excuse me for siding with my wife."

"Well in all fairness, it was a really dumb bet."

"Thank you," Lexa drawled as her friend stepped out.

Anya only shrugged as she closed the door behind her. Stepping to the wheelchair, she pulled up the sleeves of her long black coat and smirked down. "So we meet again, Clarke."

"Anya!" Clarke cheered, throwing her hand up to awkwardly pat the woman on the arm. Twisting around to look at the nurse behind her, Clarke hushed her voice and added, "She's an angel too, ya know?"

"Is that right?"

"Mhm. Our guard- our garden- our gardenia angel. But she kinda thucks at it. Don't tell her I thaid that though."

Anya's spine snapped to attention at the words, her glare darting between Lexa and the nurse eyeing the strangeness of her thick, dark outfit in the middle of L.A. heat with curiosity. Letting out a nervous chuckle, Lexa minutely shook her head and grabbed Clarke's hand to get her attention.

"Yes, sweetheart, everyone here's an angel. Let's get you in the car now, 'kay?"

"Yes," Monroe said as she seemed to blink herself out of whatever thoughts she'd been having, instead walking to the side of the wheelchair and flipping on the breaks. "Time to go, Mrs. Griffin… Woods. Griffin-Woods," she tacked on at the narrowing of Clarke's eyes before glancing up at the woman across from her. "You wanna grab that side?"

"Don't worry about it, just step back," Raven said as she helped Lexa guide the nurse up and away. "It'll be easier this way 'cause grouchy ass likes to fight anyone helping her."

With that, Anya crouched down and slid one arm beneath the bend of Clarke's knees, the other snaking between her arm and waist to wrap around her back.

"Up we go," Anya murmured and lifted Clarke out of the seat, ignoring the lazy protests from her passenger as she kicked aside the wheelchair with ease. Monroe grappled to grab and right the seat as Lexa refused to look at her, instead letting her head fall into her hand at the entire display.

Raven opened the backseat door as wide as it would go when Anya stepped forward.

"Clarke, tuck your head into me like you do Lexa," Anya said as she bent to scoot the woman through the door of the car, only to yank back a moment later with a garbled yell of disgust. "Not like that!"

"Anya--"

"She licked me!"

"You thaid like Lexa."

"Why did I agree to not film this?" Raven groaned and flopped back against the side of the car.

"Can we please get this shit show on the road," Lexa sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she took control of the chaos and began rattling off instructions. "Clarke, no licking. Anya, just get her in the car. Raven, you agreed because your friend, my wife, is a very well-respected doctor and teacher, and having a video of her licking a random woman's neck wouldn't be great for her career. Now, go start the car. Monroe… I don't even know. Thank you? And I'm sorry about all of this."

The nurse simply smiled as she reached down to unlock the wheels again and looped around back toward the clinic. "Don't worry about it. Happens more often than you'd think. She'll be out of it for a bit, but just roll with it. Keep everything clean, read the aftercare instructions, and call if you have any questions."

Exchanging a final nod of goodbye, the nurse left the group and went back inside.

"Okay, put her in, Ahn. I'll meet you on the other side."

With a disgruntled huff, Anya gave the woman in her arms another wary glance and moved to settle her into the backseat. Lexa rushed around the back of the SUV and flung the door open, slipping in and across the bench seat in the back as Anya leaned in and set Clarke down.

"Hey, Clarke? I'm gonna buckle you in now," Lexa said as she accepted the seat belt clasp Anya stretched out for her.

Clarke glared between the two of them, her hands swatting at her sides. "I'm not a child. I can do it mythelf."

"You just licked Anya's neck in the middle of a parking lot," Raven pointed out as she started the engine. "And that was after you told a random stranger that she's a whole ass angel."

"Yeah, she told her I was one inside as well," Lexa said as she clicked the buckle in place.

"Hence why we're not exactly trusting you or your motor functions right now, babe."

"But she is an angel. You are an angel," Clarke hummed, sending a hazy look of adoration to her wife while Lexa draped a blanket over her lap. "You're my angel."

"Say angel again," Raven snorted and slipped on a pair of sunglasses.

"... Sure doesn't fuck like an angel though."

"Ew, no!" Anya thundered and flung herself backward out of the door frame, dramatically heaving twice before slamming the door shut hard enough to rock the entire car.

"Clarke," Lexa hissed as her wife continued to leer.

"Huh?"

Anya grunted as she whipped the front door open and climbed in. "Why did I agree to come to this?"

Clarke's lips pooched as she sent a very wet sounding smooch in Lexa's direction. "Don't be mad, baby. I like that you're nasty in bed."

"Oh my G-- Lexa, will you please muzzle her. No one wants to hear this."

"Speak for yourself," Raven gleefully cut in as she started to pull away. "Get it, Griff! Tell us the really freaky shit."

"She lets me--"

"Clarke!" Lexa yelled while leaning forward to get her attention. Glazed eyes blinked at her in slow passes as a pout spread across Clarke's face. Sighing when she was sure she had her wife's attention, Lexa reached up and tugged a curl of blonde behind her ear. "... I promise you, whatever it was you wanted to say just now, you would wholeheartedly regret saying it later. Especially to Raven."

"That's fair actually," Raven called back as she moved them through midmorning traffic.

Clarke shifted to reach for Lexa's hand, assuring her in what Lexa supposed could be a valiant attempt at a whisper. "Don't worry, baby. I wasn't gonna tell 'em about the butt stuff."

Eyes sliding closed as a chorus of retching mingled with cackling laughter from the front seat, Lexa sat back in her seat and ran a hand through her hair.

"Not a word."

"I'm not saying anything," Raven choked out through the dying rolls of her laughter.

The car fell quiet as they drove, Lexa looking out the window and letting her mind drift. She watched the cars and hills of the outskirts of L.A. fly past as they wound their way home. Despite… well, everything, she was glad this was finally over; the final expense officially checked off of their list of 'to-do's'. She idly tapped her fingers on the leather of her seat and admired the green hillsides, smiling to herself as she thought of what came next.

They hadn't told anyone when they'd made the decision to start looking through private listings, Lexa having sworn Anya to secrecy until they'd figured out an actual plan. She wondered if she'd miss the familiar drive to their apartment, the only home she'd truly known on Earth. She was excited, if not a little nervous, but ready to take the next step with the… absolute mess of a woman beside her.

Letting her head lull back over to check on her patient, Lexa startled a bit to find watery, blue eyes already staring back.

"What's the matter?" she hushed in a soft and concerned voice, scooting closer as she reached up to brush away a rogue tear.

"You're really hot... And tho pretty."

Rolling her eyes at the dreamy words, Lexa grinned back. "Not as pretty as you."

"My wife'th gonna be tho mad at me," Clarke whined and shook her head.

"... Why is your wife going to be mad at you?" she asked with a quirk of her brow.

"'Cause I think you're really hot," Clarke confessed through a fresh wave of tears.

"Seriously can you like, knock her out or something?"

"Shut up, Anya," Lexa said as she scooted the remaining distance between them. "Clarke, darling, I promise, your wife won't be mad at you for thinking I'm hot."

"How do you know?"

"Because she's your wife, genius," Anya drawled. "I still can't believe they trust that woman with human lives."

"You're just a little doped up right now," Lexa soothed even as reached out to flick her friend on the ear. "Don't worry though, I'll take care of everything. You just relax."

Clarke blinked owlishly at her for a minute, Lexa clearly able to see the cogs grinding to life through the fog of the drugs. She smiled and nodded as Clarke's face suddenly lit up, eyebrows shooting upward as her mouth dropped open.

"Oh yeah," Clarke beamed, her head wobbling back and forth as she flopped around a little in her seat. "That is you, innit. I forgot, ha. That'th crazy."

"It is."

"Man, I am high."

"You are."

"You should kith me."

"I should not."

Lexa nearly groaned as soon as the words left her mouth.

Clarke's face fell into a devastated frown, her lip trembling as her head fell to her shoulder. "You don't wanna kith me."

"Clarke, no, that's not it--"

"I knew it. I'm tho ugly now you won't kith me anymore."

"Oh my God, stop. Just, hang on," Lexa huffed. "Raven, do you have napkins or Kleenex in here? Anything?"

She waited as Anya rifled through the glovebox, accepting the fistful of napkins along with a deep look of disdain when she passed them back. Gently cradling her wife's chin, Lexa tilted her face back up.

"I'm gonna make you a deal," she murmured as she dabbed away as much blood and spit from Clarke's lips as she could. "I will kiss you. But. You have to let me kiss you. You just sit there, okay?"

Clarke bobbed her head in a tiny nod, Lexa's heart squeezing tight at the sad but hopeful face still cradled in her palm. Once she deemed those lips as clean as she could ever hope for given the situation, Lexa tossed the soiled napkins into the seat beside her.

Bringing her other hand up, Lexa held her wife's face between her palms, a smile spreading over her lips as she took in the sight of her. The sight of laugh lines that had begun reaching out from the corners of baby blues, their recent appearance reminding Lexa how happy their life together had proven to be. She admired the few twists of grey that weaved in and out of silken blonde, the effect of them making the woman look all the more distinguished.

Running her thumbs over the apples of delicate cheekbones, Lexa leaned in and gently pressed a kiss to her wife's lips. She hummed at the familiar feeling, soft and sweet as ever, her movements steady and light so as to not cause any pain. Pulling away, she left a last peck on Clarke's upper lip, forever a slave to sealing the little beauty mark with a kiss.

"Better?" she whispered as she watched Clarke's eyes flutter back open.

Clarke was quiet as she stared back, a long moment passing before she heaved a defeated sigh.

"I couldn't feel it."

Lexa did her best to bite back a snort of laughter, head dropping forward as her chest shook with the effort. "Don't worry, sweetie. I'll kiss you plenty to make up for it when you feel better, I promise."

"We're here, lovebirds," Raven announced as she pulled to a stop outside of their apartment building. Lexa squeezed her shoulder over the top of the seat in thanks as she reached for the handle. "I'm gonna stay here so my lazy ass doesn't have to find a place to park, but I'm gonna call you guys later, okay?"

Grunting in acceptance as she opened her door, Lexa hopped out and ran around the back of the car to meet Anya on the other side. A few petulant protests and a very one sided bartering war later, Lexa pressed the button to shut the doors of the elevator in their building.

Sighing as she all but collapsed back against the rail of the elevator, Lexa reached out a hand to nudge her friend's shoulder.

"Thanks again, Ahn."

"Yeah, whatever," Anya grumbled, adjusting her grip on the woman sagged at her side.

If Lexa had had the energy she would've laughed at the pair of them, knowing full well Anya was supporting every inch of the woman's weight despite Clarke's staunch insistence that she could walk.

She reminded herself that her wife's stubbornness was part of why she loved her.

"Okay, here we go," Lexa rallied as the doors slid open on their floor. "Last stretch, love, and then you can rest."

"I wanna make nachos."

"Yeah, we'll have to see about that," Lexa shook her head as she jogged ahead to unlock the door, holding it open as Anya all but dragged Clarke through the entrance of their apartment.

"Where should I put her?"

"Bedroom."

"No," Clarke said with enough ferocity it startled the pair, taking Anya particularly by surprise when she elbowed her way out of the hold and launched herself toward the couch.

Lexa felt her heart jump up into her throat as Clarke nosedived toward the cushions, landing face first into the set of pillows.

"Clarke!" she yelped, darting around the couch and crouching over her. Biting back a twitch of annoyance, Lexa pulled the woman upward and helped her flip over. "Jesus, you have got to be more careful. You could've really hurt yourself."

"I'm fine, baby," Clarke slurred, glassy eyes shining behind the low droop of her lids. "I don't feel anything. You could punch me right in the mouf and I'd be fine."

"I'm not going to punch you."

"I might."

"Goodbye, Anya. Thank you for helping," Lexa blindly called over her shoulder, "but you can go now. Raven's waiting."

"Right, right, right," Anya said, rapping a knuckle on the wall as she turned to go. "I'll leave you to take care of the little missus. Call if you need anything. Feel better, doc."

"Byeeeeeeeeee," Clarke sing-songed out to her before the door closed, shimmying in place as Lexa helped her adjust on to her back. "She's gonna go makeout with Waben."

"What else is new," Lexa grinned and pulled the blanket off of the back of the couch.

Lexa moved to take off Clarke's shoes and socks, leaning down to peck a quick kiss to the wiggly toes before tucking them under the blanket as well. After placing the shoes in their home along the front hall of their apartment, she moved to ditch the balled up socks in the laundry despite the disgruntled yowl from the plump feline stationed on top of their washer.

The jingle of Penny's collar followed her as she went about collecting the supplies listed on the aftercare sheet, piling a tiny tray up with gauze squares, water, pain medicine, and snacks.

"That'd not nachoth," Clarke said with a sleepy grump of a frown as Lexa laid the tray on the coffee table beside her.

"Not nachos. No crunchy stuff, unfortunately. Doctor's orders. But may I offer you a bowl of our finest applesauce?"

"This is bullthit."

"I know."

"You did this to me, and I'll neber forgib you."

"I know."

"Will you cuddle wif me?"

Smiling down at her wife, Lexa simply nodded and quickly tied her back into a ponytail.

"Scooch," she hummed, toeing off her shoes before gingerly climbing over to the opposite side. Lowering herself as gently as possible, Lexa fit herself into the snug space between her wife and the back of their couch. She wriggled down enough to make sure she was safe from knocking into the already swollen jaw.

"Better?" Lexa whispered as she rested her head on Clarke's chest and draped an arm around her waist.

"Mhm," Clarke said, the drowsy weight of her hum sounding peaceful and warm.

"You can't sleep with those things in your mouth."

"Not thleepin'."

Giving up that fight before it could start and deciding she'd just slip them out once the woman dozed off, Lexa snuggled in deeper, breathing in calming lungfuls of her wife's scent.

The day had been insane, which after four years of marriage she was generally used to, but overall Lexa couldn't help but pat herself on the back. She knew when the medicine started to wear off they'd both be in a world of pain, but for now, she let herself relax into the peace of the moment.

Which was promptly broken by the faint buzz of Clarke's phone.

Sighing in annoyance, Lexa dug her hand under the blanket and into Clarke's pocket to pull it out. She thumbed in the passcode, muscle memory having her click 1203 for their anniversary without a thought, and tapped to open the notification.

Asshole (11:42 a.m.): so... you're gonna tell me about that butt stuff thing later right?

"For fuck's sake, Raven." With a disgusted sigh, Lexa closed out the message and slapped the phone on the table.

Snuggling back into the snoozing body beneath her, Lexa decided she'd just have to deal with that later.

#sorry for the ugly ass moodboard just go with it #clexa #clexaweek 21 #clexaweek 21 day 6 #day 6 magic #CoA

124 notes · View notes

loveislattes · 3 years

Text

Everything Comes at a Price (Demon!Dark/Fem!Reader) Chapter 1

Commission prompt: Reader is really depressed, and Dark decides to roughly Fuck the depression out of them

Important: Reader has female pronouns and is a vagina owner!

Warnings (For this chapter specifically): Talk of depression and stressful life, mentions of unnamed character death, mentions of beheading/dismembered head and some minor blood/gore (not too detailed), cursing, mentions of family in the hospital, demon!Dark (akin to jinn or genie), and pet names.

A/N: PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS! This first chapter is allllll story setting. Part two will have the good ol' rough and dominating Dark fucking.

As always, if you would like to support me, I have a Ko-Fi (here) for donations and I usually have a few slots open for commissions (unless life gets in the way)!

“Look, I think it’s just best if you take some time off.”

Though worded nicely, you instinctually felt the pang of panic and anger already bristling in your chest.

“Time off…” you murmur, eyes sliding down to your boss’s desk in thought, “As in, a week or two or…?”

You let the implication hang heavy in the air. There was a telling silence that followed your question. When you finally met his gaze again, your boss let out a hefty sigh. Before he even said anything, you knew what his answer was by the sympathy on his face alone.

“We won’t fight your unemployment for the first few months, which hopefully will be enough time for you to find another place of employment. I’m sorry, Miss Y/N, but between the company making cutbacks and your recent drop in productivity, I had to-”

“Don’t you dare,” you hissed sharply, interrupting him before he could finish the excuse.

Rage fueled your motions, forcing you to your feet while your eyes narrowed on the man you’d once thought a decent person.

“A drop in productivity?” you scoffed, “My apartment building was just destroyed in a freak fire two weeks ago that, of course, my insurance refused to cover. I’ve been bouncing place to place between motels and friend’s homes until I can afford another deposit on the measly pay you give us. My mother is in the hospital, in the ICU, after a freak hit and run. My car broke down yesterday and I walked thirty fucking minutes in the pouring rain today just to make sure you assholes weren’t a man down with all this work. And you knew all of this, but you still decided to fire me? I can’t- You know what, fuck you. Fuck you and fuck this place! I hope this whole company shuts down and you get to experience even a modicum of the instability I’ve had to!”

Before he could respond, you slammed the chair back into place against the desk and stormed from the room. You could feel the confused gazes from your coworkers as you marched to the door but didn’t dare spare them a glance. Most of them you considered to be your friends and you knew you’d have to explain everything later, but you couldn’t allow anything other than anger to inhabit your body at that moment. One bit of sadness and you would crumble. Rage would keep you safe until you made it to your temporary home for the night.

Little curses and fury-filled resentment spilled from your lips as you stepped out into the dreary public. Of course, it was still raining. You hadn’t even dried off from your trek to work and now you were thrown right back out into the storm. A timely crack of lightning rumbled across the sky as you shot one last middle finger back at the door.

“I can’t believe this shit,” you grumbled.

Pulling your raincoat up over your head, you kept your gaze down and began your journey back to the hotel. The one upside to all the rain was that the sidewalks were nearly barren. Cars sped by on the busy roads but you were alone on foot. In fact, you didn’t see a single soul until you were on the block housing your hotel, and somehow that lonely occupant still managed to slam into you.

“Excuse you,” you muttered.

“So sorry, please excuse me.”

The person’s voice sent shivers down your spine and every last hair stood up on your arms. Reflexively you pulled back as a hand touched your side, ready to give them a mouthful, but they were moving on by the time you could gather your wits about you. All you caught was a tall form in a black business suit striding off in the opposite direction.

With an irked tsk and a mutter of “Fucking asshole”, you rushed into the lobby, stomping the rain from your shoes along the rubber mat. Sure you were pissed off but you still had the human decency not to create more work for others.

You managed a little nod to the desk clerk on your way by to the elevator. As you watched the numbers climb slowly down, you mentally questioned the fates if the world was against you. The elevator stopped on literally every- single- floor; All 25. Trying to maintain your composure, you leaned up against the wall and let your eyes flutter closed, slowly breathing in and out rhythmically. Just a little longer and you’d be in the safety of solitude. You could let it all out.

The ding of the lift doors opening pulled you out of your little meditative session and you immediately let out a grateful sigh of appreciation upon realizing it was empty. Being stuck in a small metal box with others for an undetermined amount of time made your skin crawl, much less when you were already on the edge of snapping. You mashed the close button repeatedly until the metal doors finally sealed shut and the elevator began to move. The rest of the journey was a blur until you stopped at your room door and fished your card out of your pocket, coming out with not only the plastic key but a large silver coin.

“The fuck?” you muttered.

As the door buzzed open, you flipped the coin over in your fingers, trying to think back on when you had gotten it. You were pretty sure you’d never seen anything like it before; completely void of any details on one side but the other filled with finely engraved words.

The loud startling thump of your keys as you threw them on the nightstand wasn’t even enough to draw your concentration away from the interesting little trinket. It took a few minutes and some good lighting but you eventually figured out what was written; the discovery only confusing you further.

“Clutch this coin to thee whilst ye make a plea

In return ye shall become my endless devotee”

“Yeah… that’s not creepy at all,” you sighed.

Tossing the coin on the nightstand next to your keys, you sloughed off your wet clothes and tossed them in the small hamper next to your duffle bag. After this horrid morning, you needed a long hot shower before you pondered on any strange coins or the mental shithole that had become your life.

You weren’t sure exactly how long you spent under the burning water but, by the time you exited, you were both hungry and in dire need of some caffeine.

“Or a nap. A nap could be heavenly,” you murmured to yourself.

Towel around your head, you dropped into the bed naked and took a moment to revel in the sheets against your freshly lotioned skin. There was hardly a better feeling. Thank god you had the good sense to buy some of your own sheets rather than rely on whatever the hotels had to offer. It made your day the tiniest bit better.

As you leaned back against the headboard, you snagged up the coin once more. The metal was cool against your warm fingers as you flipped it around and around. Did you dare give it a try? What was the worst outcome: You felt silly for believing a random coin and no one would ever know? Although, what if it was legit...?

Now that thought made you feel silly. A little chuckle passed your lips before you clasped the coin between your hands and brought it to your chest, closing your eyes as if about to pray.

“Alright, I don’t know how this works so I’m just gonna state my wishes out loud. I hope that works for, well, whoever you are. First off, I want that backstabbing business ruined. They fucked me over after I bent over backward for them, now they deserve to feel the same. Please. Second, I don’t know how you could do it, but I’d really like my insurance company to finally approve my apartment claim so I can find another place soon. Third-”

You trailed off as emotions immediately welled up behind your eyelids, the burning already tingling in the back of your throat from holding them in.

“My third and most important wish, please, if nothing else, find the one that put my mom in the ICU and make them pay. Those idiots down at the police department couldn’t find them, or so they say anyway, so just… give them what they deserve, please.”

With a stifled sniffle, you wiped away the few tears that had escaped and fell back against the headboard, eyes staring unseeing at the ceiling as you let the pain wash over you; Rage, dread, hope, apathy, desperation. Eventually, the unending barrage became too much to deal with. This wasn't a new thing in your life, but it had certainly culminated into something worse with everything going on in your life; clinical depression exacerbated by a series of unfortunate events.

With no other plans for the day and the weight of your heart heavy in your chest, you chose to simply roll over and bury yourself, and your troubles, in the fluffy comforter. You’d feel better after a nap. You were almost certain of it.

Even as you drifted off into sleep, the tears didn’t cease.

When you first woke, you weren’t sure what had roused you but you knew it wasn’t good; All you could feel was bone-trembling terror. You couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, felt frozen in place with only the ability to stare at the now dimly lit wall; watching the shafts of setting sunlight ever so slowly creep down by the minute.

“Come now, darling,” a low voice crooned in the void behind you, “I know you’re awake.”

Like a rubber band snapping, the grip on your body suddenly released and you shot up in bed, immediately turning around to find out who had spoken. You weren’t sure what you expected but it certainly wasn’t the devilishly handsome man that was seated next to the window. The sunlight pouring down on him made it very obvious that his skin was lacking any range of melanin, rather being pallor shades of whites, blacks, and greys, but that didn't detract from his appearance at all. In fact, he looked like something out of a Gothic romance novel or a Tim Burton movie. Once the enchantment of seeing him began to wear off, you finally noticed what sat on the table next to him.

A human head.

“Holy fuck!”

A hellish screech escaped your lips as you hastily scrambled backward, trying to get as far away from him as quickly as possible, only to go careening off the edge of the mattress. The pain of impact on the floor couldn’t even deter you. As your back hit the wall, you kept your eyes pinned on the intruder, watching for any sign that he was going to follow you or attack.

“While I’m certainly not minding the show, don’t you think you’re rather underdressed for this occasion?” he spoke suddenly.

It took a few moments for his words to sink in but the moment they did, you launched yourself back at the bed with a hushed curse and promptly pulled the sheets up around your naked body.

“Who are you? How did you get in here? I-Is- Is that real?”

Long clawed fingers made their way into the matted, bloody mess of hair and pulled the body part free from the table with a sickening pop.

“It is undoubtedly real, but I figured you’d believe me much quicker if I had a visual aide to my claims,” he replied, dropping the offending thing before tossing you a sharp, seductive, smile, “The name is Dark. I’m a demon and the owner of the coin you wished upon.”

Your tongue felt too heavy to move while you watched in horror as he licked the blood from his fingers like a cat bathing itself.

“I- I don’t-”

“You don’t understand,” he supplied helpfully.

As he rose from his seat, you stared at him owlishly, unable to take your eyes off his graceful form as he nearly glided across the floor to stand in front of you.

“That coin,” he hummed, pointing at the metal disc in question, “It belongs to me. When someone makes a wish while holding it, I’m able to hear them. In your case, I heard all three.”

Trepidation tickled the nape of your neck when your eyes slowly rolled over to the head once more. It was as if you couldn’t breathe. Sick crawled up your throat and it took every ounce of your strength to keep from vomiting at the man’s feet. You don’t know how long you sat there, struggling to breathe and ease the nausea but, when it finally went away, rage took over.

“I didn’t want you to actually KILL them!” you shouted.

The demon casually arched a brow in your direction before saying, “You specifically wished for the one involved in your mother’s accident to get what they deserved.”

“Yeah! Like prison! Not death!”

A soul-trembling crack resounded through the small hotel room as he slowly craned his neck side to side, ethereal pulses of red and blue emanating from his being. Some of the previous ire slipped from your hold when he moved even closer, step by step until his knees were touching yours.

“I will never understand you humans and your sense of righteousness. Would it ease your mind to know this wasn’t the first time they had committed such heinous crimes?” he asked.

“W-What?” you questioned softly.

“I will not delve into details but rest assured that your embarrassing sense of compassion was lost on them; they were vermin,” he explained, “Now, that makes three wishes fulfilled. You have two remaining.”

You thought back on exactly what wishes you had made and were immediately overcome with dismay.

“Wait, what did you do?!” you demanded, jumping to your feet and glaring up at him, “You didn’t kill anyone else, did you?!”

A twinge of disdain passed through his features. His hand landed heavily on your shoulder and you were shoved back down onto the bed with a 'tsk' of disapproval, as if scolding a misbehaving child.

“Fortunately for you, no. Your previous place of employment has simply been condemned for multiple code violations that have mysteriously come to light during a surprise investigation, and your insurance company has been informed that they’re facing a lawsuit if they don’t reevaluate your claim with a more positive outlook.”

Relief flushed through your veins and you thanked him meekly. You wouldn’t have been able to live your life knowing you had caused the deaths of so many people, let alone friends.

“So, what now?” you asked.

“You have two more wishes before your soul belongs to me.”

He said it with such finality and ease that you almost didn’t react at first. Once his words settled in though, oh, panic quickly followed.

Gaping up at him in wide-eyed disbelief, you tried to stammer out some rebuttal or plea, but nothing would come out. Panic soon gave way to defeat as you realized there was no obvious way to get out of this ordeal. It had been clear as day on the coin.

Thinking on the offending piece of metal, you looked over and snagged it up, reading the inscription once more.

“Clutch this coin to thee whilst ye make a plea

In return ye shall become my endless devotee”

“So that’s what this meant,” you sighed quietly, before gazing at him once more, “And there’s no way to bargain out of this?”

He looked mildly pleased by your inquiry, letting out a little hum before falling back into an ornate chair that definitely hadn’t been there a few seconds ago.

“And what would you bargain?” he purred, “What could a simple little human such as yourself have to give to me, other than your soul of course.”

You cursed his infallible logic and stayed quiet as you tried to think over your options. Truly, you had nothing else to give him; no money nor gifts. Your soul was the only valuable thing you owned, and there was no undoing what had been done. A person had died because of your wish.

With a heavy sigh, you sat up to your full height and prepared yourself mentally.

“Is there a time limit? Do I have to make my wishes today or can I think about them?” you asked.

“You’re free to use them when and wherever you wish. However, do not think this a loophole. Choosing to postpone your wishes until death does not release you from this contract. Your soul will still belong to me when you die.”

Well fuck. There went that option. If you were doomed no matter what, you might as well make use of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity... right?

“I’m going to need time,” you whispered.

“Fair enough,” he replied, finally taking a step back, “You have my calling card. You can call for me if you have any questions, otherwise, you know what to do.”

He strolled back to the window and snagged the dismembered head, flashing you a wide smirk that framed his fangs perfectly.

“I’ll just be taking this with me. Hope to hear from you soon, darling.”

#Demon!Dark #Dark/reader #female reader #PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS PEOPLE #This chapter is a little dark #heh... dark #pun not intended #two part series #Chapter 1

28 notes · View notes

iovnyu · 3 years

Text

aeipathy -- park sunghoon

PART ONE | PART TWO

genre: ice skater! au, school boy sunghoon, fluff

warnings: cursing, tba

summary: as y/n is trying to juggle being a C student and working at a ice rink, she meets sunghoon - a figure skater with straight A’s who needs to prove his passion to his parents. they just so happened to be in each other’s lives at the right time.

a/n: hi !! this is my first one shot (?) i guess,,, so please be easy on me lol. im going to be making these in parts but i don’t know how long i want it so ig we will see!! but if u didn’t notice i am now taking requests for headcanons or oneshots so please look over the request guide here before requesting things!! also please let me know if you want to be added to a tag list for this series !!

all that was heard was the crisp ice being broke in. y/n sat behind the check-in desk, on her phone playing a food game. she knew that she didn’t have to be aware of the boy on the ice since he came almost everyday to skate.

although y/n did not know his name, she knew that he had always came at 4:45 -- right after school. he would have his duffel bag hanging off his right shoulder with his skates in his left hand, a tired smile on his face. it was always a mutual relationship, he would smile at y/n and she would smile back.

it did bug her at times that she didn’t know his name. in her mind she called him the ice prince -- partly because he looks like a literal prince and he seemed like a pro when he stepped foot into the ice rink.

it was nearing 7 and y/n was slowly getting bored of losing her game. she had been stuck on one certain level for the longest time and could not find a way to a customer happy.

y/n felt a sudden spark of confidence to ask the ice prince his name as he held onto the outskirts of the rink, catching his breath. getting up, she tried her best to flatten the wrinkles on her uniform that was caused by sitting in the same position for her whole shift.

the sudden movement of y/n’s chair scooting back alarmed him. it was clear that he has never seen her move from her spot at the desk unless it was to close the rink. quickly, he skated off the rink and hopped onto the carpeted floor.

looking up, he saw y/n walk closer to him and felt his heart beat faster. it definitely wasn’t because he thought she was pretty or anything -- he was just nervous because she looked like she was going to kick him out. y/n saw his fast movements and quicken her pace.

“i-uhm, i never got your name?” y/n blurted out as she reached him, out of breath. at times like this, she figures out why she can’t run for shit -- if she can’t even walk at a fast pace then how in the hell can she run?

looking up, he silently let out a sigh of relief. so she wasn’t trying to kick me out.

“sunghoon. my name is sunghoon.”

what the fuck. y/n was stunned to say the least. he had a pretty face and a pretty name?? that is a literal gift from the gods. meanwhile she is there with a boring name. y/n. out of all the names her parents could have picked, they picked y/n.

knocking back into reality, y/n saw sunghoon looking at her. “oh, i’m sorry. what did you say?” she said, embarrassed because he basically caught her in the act of admiring him.

“uhm. wh-what’s your name?” sunghoon asked, tilting his head in a puppy like manor.

ohmygodgodgodoohhhhh

“y/n. it’s-it’s on my shirt” y/n looked down and moved her hair out of the way. “see!”

sunghoon nodded. he had already knew her name but he didn’t want to sound like a creep and scare her. he had been here for a long time so, it was natural for him to memorize the employees’ names.

y/n’s had stuck with him the most. to him, it sounded unique. it rolled off the tongue in a perfect way -- almost like it was honey.

smiling, sunghoon pointed to the rink. “so do you come here often?”

shit shit shit of course she comes here often dumbshit-- SHE WORKS HERE

“oh! i-i mean uhm...” sunghoon said embarrassed. “you know what? i’ll see you tomorrow. sorry.” he said while quickly grabbing his bag and zoomed to the doors.

“okay!! have a nice night!” y/n yelled to him.

looking down, she noticed he had left something behind. bending down, she picked up a heavy book that looked like it weighed like the declaration of independence.

flipping it over and examining it, she discovered that it was a math book with messy writing over the front cover. “park sunghoon’s math book” the pages were scattered with random doodles and formulas that looked too long to remember.

y/n looked back up to see if sunghoon was standing outside but she was met with the sun slowly setting. oh shit i need to get home

she ran to the changing room and quickly took off her uniform and changed into the clothes she came in with. making sure everything was in her bag, she took a quick glance around the rink and behind the desk.

well it looks ... okay

grabbing her bag, y/n looked to sunghoon’s math book. if i have time before school tomorrow, i’ll give it to him.... he probably needs it, it is exam season anyways.

she grabbed his math book and ran to the door, locking it so no annoying teenagers break in and play in the rink. it has happened before and y/n’s boss gave her a earful the next day, she was not willing to hear him yelling at her again.

y/n sped walked to her tiny honda car that she had named roxy. roxy has been there for y/n through almost all of her high school life. y/n believed that roxy was on her last straw when she broke down a few months ago, but she had managed to still work properly. i mean, she still drove properly. it is the thought that counts right?

arriving at her house she saw her mom’s car already parked in the driveway. shit i am so dead

getting out of her car, she silently prayed that her mother had just gotten home. she walked towards the door and opened the door, “hello, my beautiful mother. how has thee day been for thee highness?”

“it’s okay, y/n. im not gonna kill you because you came home late from work.” y/n’s mom said, laughing.

walking into the kitchen, y/n saw her packing food for the morning. “how was work?” y/n asked, grabbing chips from the snack cabinet.

“it was okay. nothing really happened. how was the ice rink?”

“ehh, nothing special.” y/n shrugged. “i’m gonna go do homework now, please pray for me.”

“will do, honey.” her mother laughed.

bringing her stuff to her room, she laid the math book on her desk. assuming that sunghoon probably lived somewhere near by, she began to rack her brain for any schools near by that uses the same math book. the math book looked like it was for sophisticated students. he definitely does not go to a public school

he does wear uniform when he comes in .... fuck

there was only two private schools in y/n’s neighborhood. she decided she is going to chance it and try to wake up early tomorrow to attempt finding sunghoon. why the hell am i trying so hard to give him his book....

“it’s just a damn book. it’s not like he needs it tomorrow right? wait -- he might have a math test tomorrow.... shit.” y/n said eyeing the book.

it can’t hurt to give it to him... right?

149 notes · View notes

sergeantsporks · 3 years

Text

Whatever It Takes

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

TW: Self-harm, attempted suicide, emotional manipulation

“While I’ve got you here, want to hear the complete history of wild magic? I’m sure you’ll find it very interesting, considering that you’re old enough to have lived through it.”

“I am not, you little brat. Shut your mouth, I don’t want to listen to your voice.” “Yeah? What if I don’t want to shut up? What if I feel like singing?"

Hunter is a difficult prisoner to keep, and Lilith and Eda are about to find that out the hard way.

Ao3

Ch 2/4: Prisoner

Ch 1

Eda perched on a chair, watching her new prisoner. “When do you think he’ll wake up?”

Lilith finished tying Hunter to a chair with a roll of her eyes. “If I hit him hard enough, not for a while.”

“Should we… try to wake him up?”

“Titan’s veins, Edalyn, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this anxious before.”

“I’ve never kept a coven head tied up in my basement before!” Eda peered at him. “What does he even eat?”

“Nothing. He photosynthesizes. I don’t know, Eda, probably the same thing we eat. He’s a witch, after all.”

“He’s a powerless witch. What if they have human diets?”

“I—this is ridiculous. Keeping prisoners isn’t that scary, I’ll walk you through it.”

Eda squinted at her sister. “Oh, yeah. Sometimes I forget that you were…” she rolled a hand. “A horrible person.”

“Hmph.”

Hunter groaned, and Eda grinned. “Guess you didn’t hit him hard enough.”

Hunter’s eyes shot open, and he glanced around wildly, kicking his feet and straining against his bonds. “Wha—where-?”

His kicking knocked over the chair, and he fell backwards with a crash. “Ow.”

Eda snorted. “Behold, the mighty head of the emperor’s coven.”

“Oh, great. It’s you.”

Eda picked the chair up, flicking Hunter’s head. “YYYYYep. Nice to see you too, nerd.”

He shook his head, as if trying to clear it. “Ugh—Darius! What happened to him?! Where’d he go?!”

Lilith studied her nails. “He left you high and dry. He didn’t care if we captured or killed you. You know how it is.”

“Is this the part where you try to convince me to, as we say in the coven, pull a Lilith, betray the emperor horribly, and end up sad and lonely?”

“They do not say that!”

“I don’t want you on our side,” Eda interrupted, shooting her sister a “don’t react” look, “I wouldn’t trust you for a second. I want you to tell me what happened to Raine Whispers.”

Hunter leaned back as best he could while tied up, looking bored. “The emperor killed them slowly and painfully. Next question?”

Eda’s heart stuttered dangerously in her chest. “Liar,” she snarled, “Your precious emperor hasn’t appointed a new coven head yet—so Raine’s still alive. Where are they?!”

Hunter clicked his tongue. “Let’s see… coven head prisoner, coven head prisoner, mmmmmm doesn’t ring any bells.”

Lilith put a hand on Eda’s shoulder as she growled. “Oh, Hunter. Your bravado isn’t fooling anyone. You know how the emperor’s coven works as well as I. No one is coming for you. There is no holding out until rescue, because there will be no rescue. Don’t make this harder on yourself than it has to be—who are you even keeping quiet for? An emperor who doesn’t care enough about you to come for you? Just tell us what you know about the bard coven head.”

He rocked back and forth in the chair, looking up at the ceiling, unconcerned. “Or what? You’ll torture me?”

Lilith raised an eyebrow. “If that’s what you want.” She turned to go. “Excuse me. I need to gather a few things.” She strode back up the basement stairs, leaving Eda and Hunter alone.

Eda rocked back and forth on her heels. “So… how’s that portal coming along? Got enough titan’s blood?

“I’m not telling you that.”

“Mmm.” Eda clicked her tongue. What did Lilith need that was taking this long? “Soooooo… what now?”

“This is the first time you’ve taken a prisoner, isn’t it.”

“No!”

“Uh-huh. Alright. While I’ve got you here, want to hear the complete history of wild magic? I’m sure you’ll find it very interesting, considering that you’re old enough to have lived through it.”

“I am not, you little brat. Shut your mouth, I don’t want to listen to your voice.”

“Yeah? What if I don’t want to shut up? What if I feel like singing? Oh titan’s heart, oh titan’s heart,” he started howling in an off-key voice, “we the covens are loyal to thee!”

“UUUUUGH,” Eda groaned, “Stop that, or I’m going to gag you!”

“We pledge our lives, our magics, our hearts to yours! When you call, we heed your voice!”

Eda stormed up the stairs, slamming the door behind her. “That kid is the most annoying creature in existence!” Her sister was lying on the couch, reading a book, and Eda leaned on the back of the couch, looking down at her. “What are you doing? I thought you were getting something?”

“No. I just want him to think I am. Let him sweat and squirm. Let him think about all of the horrible things I might be planning to do to him.”

“Let him freak himself out. Devious, Lili.”

“Oh, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Let him imagine the worst. But now that you’ve come up, too, we can just… leave him.”

“I’m not sure how that—”

“Leave him alone long enough, and he’ll start to wonder if we’re coming back. He’ll start to wonder if we had to leave for some reason, and we left him. He’ll start thinking that if we did have to leave, there’s no one to let him out. That he’s trapped down there. At first he’ll tell himself not to worry, that we’ll come back down for him eventually. Then, as time wears on, and he has no idea how long it’s been, he’ll start calling for help, thinking we’re gone.”

“And that’s when we go down?” Eda interjected, “When he’ll be happy to see us?”

“No, Edalyn. We wait for him to stop calling. We wait for him to give up, thinking that no one will come for him. We let him wallow in the fear that he’ll starve down there, tied up, and then, then we return.”

Eda scooted away from her sister. “… have I ever mentioned how incredibly glad I am that you changed sides?”

“You could stand to mention it more.”

“You’re not gonna… actually torture him, are you?”

“Physically? I wasn’t planning on it, no, why, do you want me to?”

“Titan! Lilith, no!”

Lilith shrugged. “To each their own. He’s probably not feeling too well—a blow to the head is no joke, and neither was that spell he took for Darius. He’ll spill.”

“He seemed fine to me. Just as annoying as ever.”

“It’s an act. Bravado. He’s hurt, he was just flat-out betrayed and abandoned by the person he was protecting, and he’s captured with no hope of rescue, because he knows that’s not how the emperor’s coven works. He’s a resilient pest, but all of that will take its toll quickly. Give him a few hours, and he’ll crack.” Lilith hesitated. “But… Eda… about rescuing Raine, should they still be alive…”

“What?”

“I’m just… not entirely certain it’s the best plan.”

“I can’t just leave them!”

“I know you don’t want to, but… we have the upper hand over Belos at the moment. We have his right hand, a coven leader, in our grasp. We’ve put his day of unity plans to a grinding halt. We go running off on a hare-brained rescue mission? If one of us gets caught, it’s all over.”

A new plan quietly clicked into place in Eda’s head. “We have the coven head. We have the right hand of Belos. Why not make a trade? His precious golden brat for Raine! Either way, we end up with a coven head, so we won’t be giving up our advantage, but this way, we’ll have Raine, who will fight with us, instead of the brat tied up in my basement!”

Lilith sat bolt upright on the couch. “Are you insane?” she hissed, “You want to try to ransom him back?! Edalyn, an attempt to negotiate with the emperor will go very, very badly! Let’s say we achieve the best case scenario, let’s say Belos agrees to the trade and we get Raine back. The emperor will not stop hunting us down. When I was attempting to capture you, it was just that—capture. If you try to make a deal, trade hostages? Belos will want you dead. Even having kidnapped the golden guard is risky—for now, Hunter could be anywhere, no one knows we took him. But if Belos finds out? We may as well start writing our obituaries now.”

“Fine.” Eda growled in frustration. “It’s just—I don’t want to leave them, if they are alive! It just doesn’t feel right.”

“I know. We just have to be patient. And after the Day of Unity passes, we can go after them. I promise I will help you retrieve Raine.”

“Helloooooo?” Hunter’s voice called up from the basement, “Are we gonna get this interrogation going, or what? I’ve got places to be!”

Lilith motioned for Eda to stay quiet. “Here we go,” she whispered.

“Traitor? Crazy owl lady? You there?”

Eda head a scraping noise, as if Hunter was dragging the chair he was tied to across the floor. There was a pause, then, “Titan, there’s stairs. Helloooooo?” Another pause. “Okay, I’m going to escape now! Anyone up there to stop me? No? Okay!”

“Should we go down there?” Eda murmured to Lilith. Her sister shook her head.

“He can’t get out of that chair, you heard him about the stairs.”

“I mean it! I’m breaking out of here! Oh, look, I’ve got the ropes off! No? Nobody?” Then, a little more quietly, “Guess they’re gone.”

Eda heard a lot of thumping, and then an ‘ow.’ She snorted softly. “Sounds like he’s knocked himself over again.”

Lilith pulled her away from the basement door and into the kitchen. “Give him a bit.” She started flipping through one of Eda’s potion books. “Any chance one of these has a truth potion recipe in here?”

“No, but I think there’s a knockout potion somewhere. If he keeps trying to sing, I might use it.”

Lilith snorted. “Right. I’ll go ahead and brew that. Forget feeding it to him, if I have to talk to him for much longer, I’m going to want it for myself. Where do you keep your sleeping nettles?”

“Cupboard by the trashcan, do NOT let Hooty know where they are.” Eda paced the kitchen. “What if he is in the middle of escaping?”

“He’s concussed, has short little legs and no staff. He won’t get far.”

Eda snapped her fingers. “No staff! Where’s his little palisman, I didn’t see it!”

Lilith stopped mid-stir. “Palisman?! Him?!”

“Yeah, he has a little cardinal palisman.”

“Belos hates wild magic! Do you know what it took for me to keep a hold of my palisman?! You’re telling me that Hunter hasn’t just got a palisman, he’s hiding it from Belos?”

“I guess. What’s the big deal?”

Lilith laughed. “Oh, he is in for it when Belos finds out! See if he’s still the favorite then!”

“…Lili, you’re not in the emperor’s coven anymore.”

Her sister resumed stirring her potion. “I know that.”

“And we aren’t going to use Hunter’s palisman as leverage against him, okay? I want more info about Raine, but I’m not going to threaten an innocent palisman to get it.”

“Fine.” Lilith set her spoon down. “I think it’s about time we check in on him. Let’s see how much he’s panicking.

When they got down the basement stairs, Hunter was asleep. Eda snorted, setting the chair upright again. “So much for that idea.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Lilith growled.

Hunter opened his eyes with a smug look that Eda was relatively certain meant he’d never actually been asleep. “Oh, hey, when did you guys get here? Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”

Lilith lunged towards Hunter, and Eda had to hold her back. “You are a horrible, conniving little brat, and if I never saw you again, I could die happy!”

“Oooo, might want to watch that temper, Lilith, isn’t that how you got beaten by your sister so many times?”

Lilith’s nostrils flared, and she stopped trying to get past Eda, taking a deep breath and smoothing her hair. “Laugh all you want, brat. I may be out of the coven, but at least I chose to go. Unlike you.”

“I’m not leaving the coven. I’m going to get out of here, and I’m going to go back, and y’know what, I’m going to drag both of you with me, and this time we’ll finish the petrification process.”

Lilith chuckled. “Oh, Hunter. You don’t really think you can go back, do you? Not after you failed like this.”

For the first time since he’d gotten here, fear flashed in Hunter’s eyes. “I didn’t fail,” he said defensively, “Darius got away—I protected him from your assassination plot. I completed my mission—you failed.”

“But you were captured,” Lilith said softly, leaning in close to him, “Of course you carried out your mission—but you’ve still failed the emperor. You lost. To us. How humiliating.”

“I only lost because that coward Darius used me as a meat shield,” Hunter snarled, “It wasn’t my fault!”

Lilith laughed softly, pulling away. “Do you really think the emperor will accept that excuse? You know as well as I that you cannot blame others for your own mediocracy.”

The shift in Hunter’s attitude… Eda wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. Lilith had gone from dancing to Hunter’s tune and rising to his taunts to playing the flute herself. Hunter was a marionette on her strings. She grabbed her sister’s arm. “Hey, Lili? A word?”

She pulled Lilith upstairs, shutting the door so that Hunter couldn’t hear them. “What was that?!” she hissed.

“I know how the emperor’s coven works. I know how Belos works. I know how he treats people—you could hurt Hunter physically all you wanted, and he wouldn’t give up anything.”

“So you play mind games with him, Lili? That’s just cruel. Did you see his face when you said he’d failed Belos? That wasn’t just worry, that was terror. You really freaked him out, and I don’t like how you’re going about this.”

Lilith pointed at the door. “I’ve seen hardened demons break down at the idea that they’ve been left locked up with no hope of anyone ever coming for them. Do you want to know why it didn’t work on him, Eda? Because he was trained in the exact same torture methods I was. He’s the head of the emperor’s coven at age sixteen. Do you know how you get there? It isn’t by being an innocent kid, I can tell you that. Neither of us could kill him. But he’s dangerous, and Belos is the only one who could ever keep him in control. You heard him! He would drag us to our own petrification in a heartbeat! So if I have to invoke his fear of Belos to keep him from hurting you or I, I will!”

“Lilith—”

“When you first met him, he threatened King to get you and Luz to do what he wanted. He is not some cute little witchling who will roll over for belly rubs, he’s a lethal, dangerously unstable individual who is dead loyal to Belos and will stop at nothing to please him.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. It still doesn’t feel right, Lilith. And I don’t think it’ll make him crack.”

“Oh, please, he was about to be putty in my hands.”

“You make him scared of what Belos will do to him because he failed? He’ll just start thinking about how much worse it will be for him if he gives up information. No more head games, Lilith. I don’t like it, and I don’t like how much you’re acting like you did when you were in the coven.”

“Yes, because it’s effective. Good luck getting any information out of him.”

Eda grabbed her sister’s hands. “I don’t want to win by losing you. I’m not going to risk you reverting to your coven ways like that—you’ve come so far, and it’s not fair to put you in a situation where you’ll backslide.” Eda squeezed her eyes shut, turning her face away. “You were right. Raine will have to wait.” It felt like a betrayal just saying it, but she couldn’t say anything else—Raine had risked everything to make sure that she, at least, could get away. Throwing that away based off of information they got from Hunter of all people would be disrespectful of their sacrifice. “We just need to ride out this storm. No more interrogations—we’re not going to just let him go, but we’re not going to hurt him, either. Okay?”

“If that’s what you want.”

Eda plucked a feather off of her sister’s arm. “This isn’t helping you—it’s making you worse. So trust me, Lilith—it is what I want.”

Xxx

Darius growled, kicking at a burned clump of vines. Of course the Golden Guard wasn’t here—he hadn’t really expected him to be, but it would have been nice. Right. Well, he could do a grueling search of the area—or worse, call in Eberwolf to help track the Golden Guard down.

Oooooor he could interrogate the last people to have seen him—his would-be assassins. He hadn’t seen their faces—the smokescreen had ensured that. But he had thought he’d heard a familiar voice.

Darius turned towards the Clawthorne estate. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

Ch 3

#toh #the owl house #toh fanfiction #toh hunter #edalyn clawthorn #lilith clawthorne #my writing

20 notes · View notes

skyriderwednesday · 3 years

Text

Agathea

On a quiet Friday afternoon, Vimes spots Drumknott walking down the street with a plant.

(G rated, HC: Drumknott has a cat, 1335 words)

Also on AO3

Vimes was used to all sorts of unusual sights walking the streets of Ankh-Morpork. He had to be, considering that the background level of 'normal' here matched other places' standards for 'out of the ordinary'. 'Out of the ordinary' in Ankh-Morpork trended toward 'highly unusual' before ever making it to 'mildly curious'. 'Mildly curious' was however exactly the classification appropriate on a quiet Friday afternoon (itself an oddity) for quiet little Rufus Drumknott walking towards him carrying a potted plant. Vimes waited until the distance between them was polite for acquaintances before catching his attention. He leaned against a cart that didn't seem to have any intention of moving soon. "Afternoon," he called. The young man lifted his focus from the smooth, even paving stones and came to a conscientious stop a little across from him, giving a wide passage to any other users of the street -- though presently there wasn't anyone else around. "Good afternoon, Commander Vimes," he said levelly, holding the plant a little protectively in both hands. "What're you taking a plant for a walk for?" Vimes asked in good humour. "I've just bought it," Drumknott said, a little affronted at the suggestion that he would carry a small pot of ornamental ivy around the city on a whim. "I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, just asking that's all." Vimes straightened his helmet. "Gonna go on your desk is it?" "No," Drumknott examined the plant for a moment and delicately plucked off a wilting leaf. "It's going to be put on a shelf." Vimes nodded broadly. "Mind your cat doesn't get to it then, they love to chew on plants." Drumknott tilted down his head and looked at him under the brow of his glasses. "It isn't intended for my chambers." Vimes thought hard for a few moments and stopped leaning on the cart. "...I thought even the official birthday wasn't until next month..." A less professional man would have covered his eyes, or at least rolled them. Rufus Drumknott was both extremely professional and holding a potted plant. His expression barely altered. "You haven't forgotten an occasion, commander," he said patiently. "There is simply an empty shelf in his lordship's living quarters that requires an occupant." "Oh," Vimes said, slightly relieved. "So he asked you to get him a plant then?" Drumknott was quiet for a moment, studying the plant and its dark purple arrow-shaped leaves. "No..." he replied slowly. "He did not." "Well," Vimes said, trying to sound reassuring, "I'm sure he'll like it. He uses that mug you got him." Drumknott flushed a little and very carefully shifted the pot into one hand to push his glasses back up his nose. "Thank you. I hope that you are right." "Alright," Vimes said, feeling that he was a little too far away to properly end the conversation but also that closing the distance now would be awkward, "I'll see you later." Drumknott resumed holding the pot in both hands and nodded. "Yes," he said. "Have a good evening, Commander Vimes." Vimes creased slightly in almost a smile. "You too, hope his lordship likes his plant." Drumknott faltered a moment as if his plans for the conversation had been altered, then proceeded with them anyway. "Yes," he said, "good evening." He returned his focus to the paving stones and carried on his way up the street. Vimes watched after him for a few moments, then felt for a split second like he was being watched. Anyway... he shook the feeling off and carried on his own way in the opposite direction.

---

"Ah, there you are Drumknott," Vetinari said as Rufus opened the office door. "I had wondered where you were." He stopped on the threshold and held the plant low against himself. "I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you, sir." Vetinari paused in tapping excess ink from his pen. "Hm? Oh, no,” he said. “No inconvenience, I had merely noticed your absence." Rufus relaxed a little and moved truly inside the office, pushing the door closed with his foot. "I had mentioned that I was going out sir," he said, noting that the teapot on the desk was still in the position where he had left it and the cup was still upside-down in its saucer. "Had you? I apologise, I must not have been paying attention." Vetinari looked up over his reading glasses. "What is it you have there?" he asked, craning his head a little. Rufus walked over gently and placed the plant on the desk. Vetinari put down his pen and removed his glasses to look at it properly. "It's an Agatean Ivy, sir. I thought you might like it in your rooms." Vetinari lifted one of the nearer leaves with a fingertip, carefully tilting it into and out of the light. "It is certainly a striking colour," he said. "Is it permanent?" Rufus recalled what the plant shop owner had said to him. "The leaves are light green when they first appear, sir. The purple develops as they mature." Vetinari nodded lightly. "Well, it is a beautiful plant," he said, gently smoothing his beard. "I only worry for its need for light." The only natural light that entered Vetinari's rooms did so via his bedroom. The plant was intended for the sitting room, the most seldom used and therefore dimmest lit. Rufus of course had thought of that. "The Agatean Ivy naturally prefers dark environments, sir," he said. "It should do quite well in occasional lamp light." "Ah," Vetinari said. "You have considered this. I should also expect it requires very little water?" Lack of water had been the demise of the last occupant of the gap on the shelf. Rufus nodded, "A gentle mist once a week shall suffice, sir, though it will not suffer from overwatering." And the time before that, there had been too much water. Vetinari lightened. "I see," he said with a smile others would not have noticed. "Well, I thank you very much, Mr Drumknott. It shall make a fine addition to my living space." "You are very welcome sir," Rufus said. "Now, I did bring you tea before I left, sir, but I should think that it is now cold." The light changed in Vetinari's eyes as he finally and belatedly noticed the teapot. "Ah, so you did. I regret that it entirely failed my notice." Rufus nodded inevitably. "Should you like that we instate the plant and take tea in your rooms, sir?" Vetinari looked from the forgotten teapot to the plant, then up at Rufus. He picked up his pen from the desk and applied his signature to the bottom of the page before him through mere knowledge of where it was meant to be and scarcely watching his hand as he did so. Then he returned the pen to the inkwell. Rufus did not comment upon this. He merely removed the pen from the inkwell, wiped its tip on the adjacent cloth and placed it into its rest. Vetinari didn't comment on being corrected either. "Yes," he said, gently clapping his hands to his knees. "I think I shall." Rufus took the freshly signed sheet and placed it neatly upon the pile of completed documents that had accumulated in the time since he had left. "Very good, sir." Vetinari raised his reading glasses back onto his nose and studied the plant. "I think she shall require a name, don't you?" "As long as it is not after me, sir," Rufus said. Vetinari hummed in amusement. "She is an Agatean Ivy, you said?" "Yes sir." "Then I think 'Agathea' will be suitable." Rufus felt out the name on his tongue. Ag-ah-thee-uh. Older and more elegant than simply 'Agatha', less on the nose than calling the plant 'Agatea'. He smiled. "Yes sir, that fits her nicely." Vetinari smiled a more perceptible smile to match. "Then we shall put Agathea in her pride of place, and we shall take tea that is not so cruelly forgotten

about." "Splendid, sir."

#discworld #discworld fic #rufus drumknott #sam vimes #havelock vetinari #a plant! a plant for his lordship #that hopefully won't be dead in six months #look he trained as an assassin #keeping things alive isn't his strong suit #look i'm cross-posting again what's wrong with me?

28 notes · View notes

loversandantiheroes · 4 years

Text

Hotel Hobbies - Prelude

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x Reader Author’s Note: I have nothing to say for myself other than the most shameful of yee-honks. This was largely just an attempt to break through some writer’s block, but also a little bit of a fuck you to Whiskey’s godawful characterization (get thee hence, canon, thou art dead to me). In either case I 110% blame @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa for dragging me into the Pedro pit and for making the “yeehonk loser” tag funny enough for me to go see what the fuss was about. Either way, this is unbeta’d and barely edited and is probably just a big goddamn mess. Which fits, quite frankly. Apologies in advance if it sucks. Summary: He’s an insufferable, obnoxious blowhard. Which would be fine if he wasn’t also - some-fucking-how - hotter than a fucking wildfire. Warnings: Drinking, flirting, swearing, Whiskey being the obnoxious prick that we know and mostly tolerate. Rating: Mature (for the moment) Word Count: 1510

You’d met him, of all places, in the hotel bar, shored up over a drawn-out business conference. He’d turned up three nights running, a brash braggart in a stetson and too-tight jeans that seemed to stroll dick-first around the room, tossing pickup lines at anything that moved. By sheer luck he’d missed you, leaving the first night with a leggy blonde and the second night with a considerably curvier brunette.

Both times you counted your blessings as you watched him walk out with his arm around the unlucky lady. You didn’t know the man but you knew the type: the costume cowboys that laid on the charm as thick as their cologne to mask the smell of their shitty personalities.

But now on Sunday, night number three, your luck seems to have finally run out. Just as you finish your drink the bartender sets down another – whiskey, neat – and gestures at the end of the bar. “From the gentleman.”

You hardly need to look up to know what you’ll see. Smug, half-cocked grin. A gentle tip of the hat.

Fuck. Jesus, why.

You grimace out a polite smile out of sheer habit, and before you can even begin to slide the drink back towards the bartender the man has appeared at your elbow like a country-fried jack-in-the-box.

His cologne, at the very least, is not as heavy as you’d expected. Small mercies.

“Thanks, but-” you begin, already bracing yourself against the bar to stand.

“Oh no need for thanks.” He rolls right over you with all the practiced ease of a well-oiled steamroller. His voice is low, with a thick, heavy drawl that feels just a bit too put-upon to be completely real. “You’ll have to forgive me for being so forward, but I simply couldn’t stand to see a lady as lovely as yourself drinking alone three nights in a row. Thought I might offer the benefit of some company.”

He extends a broad brown hand. A tiny blurred bullseye marks the skin between the thumb and forefinger. “Name’s Jack. Most folks just call me Whiskey.”

“Whiskey,” you repeat, trying not to roll your eyes at the rather awful joke.

“Yes ma’am.”

You purse your lips, considering, as his hand hangs between you. You know more than a few ways to cut this little introduction short, though several of them – while wholly effective – might just see you banned from the hotel bar. And with easily another three days of bureaucratic bullshit on the horizon, you’re really not keen on that happening. Present company aside, the bar’s pretty nice.

Maybe if you're lucky you can bore him to death.

Begrudgingly you take his hand. The skin of his palms is thick with calluses. A surprising thing. His clothing is more designer than LL Bean, which made you think he was a business man or entertainer – the sort of rich asshole that owned a prized stallion at a private stable somewhere that he rode once or twice a month when he wanted to feel a little authentic.

But those callouses are hard and smooth. Not quite a workman's hands, but certainly the result of something a good deal more tactile and involved than pencil pushing. And that’s enough to make you wonder a little. Now that he's up close and personal, his face makes you wonder a lot. This is no Kentucky white boy. Not with eyes that dark, or that curving nose. And honestly, if it wasn’t for that insufferably cocky look on his face, he’d be a hell of a looker.

“I didn’t catch your name,” he says, thumb grazing your knuckles before releasing your hand.

"No, you didn't," you say lightly. "And I'm afraid I don't have much of a taste for whiskey."

He grins, leaning heavily against the bar and motioning for the bartender. "Well now, if my namesake isn't up to your liking, what would be to your taste?" He hooks the tumbler of whiskey towards himself with a finger – a rather thick finger, and that's one detail you're a little dismayed to find yourself lingering on – and takes a slow sip.

You tap your glass with three fingers as the bartender approaches. "Tequila."

The man who calls himself Whiskey gives an appreciative whistle as three shots line up in front of you. "Well now ain't that a plot twist. You must have a hell of a constitution. Tequila always leaves me flat on my back." He eyes you up and down, grinning, and the hot flush that brings on isn't half as uncomfortable as you'd like it to be. "Reckon I can see a similarity or two."

"I just get the feeling I'm going to need something a little stronger than a Cosmo to get me through this conversation," you reply coolly, ignoring the innuendo. "You have until I finish these shots, by the way."

Whiskey purses his lips, pouting. "I see you've already jumped to a few conclusions about me. Hardly seems fair."

You shrug, downing the first shot with little fanfare. "You've hardly been subtle. What happened to Friday and Saturday's girls?"

He takes a sip of his own drink, thumb rubbing thoughtfully against the side of his jaw. You try not to watch the way his throat works when he swallows. "Now if I didn't know any better, I'd almost think you were a little sore it took me so long to come and see you."

He positively croons that last, and you tell yourself the warmth you feel kicking up in your belly is just the tequila. Thank God for plausible deniability.

"Don't flatter yourself, cowboy," you say with a glare.

He chuckles. "Darlin', had I known you'd had eyes on me this whole time I would've come over a hell of a lot sooner," he teases.

You can only shake your head, half in wonder and half in contempt. "How did you even fit that much ego through the door?"

Whiskey tips his glass to you with a smirk, unfazed. "Patience, dedication, and a whole lotta practice."

You reach for the second shot, and Whiskey lets out a little sigh. He puts his hand over your wrist, fingers flat.

"Hey c'mon now. Slow down, sugar. As much as I like to tease, I ain't about to put sensibilities or your liver out of sorts for the sake of poking fun."

When he pulls his hand back, reaching for his own glass, it's everything you can do to mask the little shiver that ripples up your back. He is quite warm.

"I figured you for the sort that'd prefer a girl to be out of her sensibilities," you say quietly, fingers tapping against the rim of your glass. The skin on the back of your wrist hums where he touched you, and you do your damnedest to ignore it.

The corner of his mouth hitches up in a half-grin. "Oh, afterward, surely. But never before."

You roll your eyes. "An asshole with a sense of propriety. Now that's novel."

"Part of my charm," he says. “Bastard by profession and gentleman by nature. But I mean it. You are well within every right to walk away. Ain't gonna harm nothin' but my ego, and Lord knows there’s enough of that to go around.“

You roll the shot glass between your palms. "And if I walk away?"

Whiskey shrugs. “Well, then I get to cherish the view as you leave."

"God, shut up."

His grin widens and he leans in, teasing. "A bittersweet thought to keep me warm, alone in that big empty hotel bed tonight."

The glass almost rolls straight out of your hands. "I am not fucking you," you sputter, and your cheeks burn as you realize you practically pole vaulted directly to that conclusion with barely any preamble.

The silence hangs after that, heavy and charged. Somehow you think Whiskey's eyes have gone even darker.

“I said nothin’ of the sort,” Whiskey says delicately, hands raised in supplication.

There's a cold-burning fire in the pit of your stomach.Some of it's the alcohol. But most of it is a shameful delight at the way he's looking at you, and the mounting surety that you are probably certainly definitely going to fuck him if you don't walk away and call it a night now. You're not sure whether you hate him more for the assumption, or for almost certainly being right.

He says nothing, just looks you over expectantly. Waiting to see what you’ll do.

Slowly, you down your second shot. Fuck it. If this asshole is going to be your next mistake, you might as well make it on your own goddamned terms.

"So," you say, resting your elbows on the bar. “Whiskey. What is it that you do?"

He laughs, full-throated, and the corners of his eyes crinkle up in what you suspect might be a genuine smile. It's lovely, and that might just be the most infuriating thing of all.

"Oh darlin'. You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

#agent whiskey #jack whiskey daniels #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fic #I hesitate to tag for the source bc I have Strong Feelings About It #wtf am I doing with my life #yeehonk

574 notes · View notes

the8gates · 4 years

Text

Naruto Characters and What Music I Think They Would Listen To Pt.1

Naruto

-You know those popular boys from school? The emoji tracksuit kids that like dunked on you when you walked through a door?

-Those vibes

-He listens to almost exclusively mainstream rap. It has to be 🔥🔥🔥 ya know?

-Always talking about the new Drake album or the new Kanye album. LOVES Chance the Rapper and Childish Gambino i just see it in his eyes.

Sasuke

-This fuckin guy

-See, my knee jerk reaction is like your emo classics. Pierce the Veil, MCR, Linkin Park. Screamo. Metal.

-But no. We have similar temperaments and I think that kind of music would actually irritate him.

-I think he’s emo but more mainstream soundcloud rapper emo. Lil Peep, $UICIDEBOY$, Lil Uzi Vert. LOVES XXXTentacion.

-Post screenshots of what he’s listening to on his snapchat story and you just know the boy is going THROUGH it.

Sakura

-OKAY so HERE is your rock and roll/metal baddie!!!

-hear me out. when she’s young its all pop. like y2k pop with R&B leanings. Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce, etc. you get the idea

-but after training under Tsundae she picks up rock. starts with some classic rock at first, then slowly progresses.

-this girl loves Metallica and Black Sabbath. she just loves rock. Zeppelin, AC/DC, Five Finger Death Punch. All of it. I will not be taking any criticism.

-windows down in the car, headbanging always.

Kakashi

-this one is a little difficult to nail down

-a part of me just wants to throw him in the pool of doesn't really care and will listen to anything

-i think he’s got a different playlist for every mood

-R&B sexy playlist with the Weeknd and some Justin Timberlake (yes he thinks that's sexy), soft sad boy hours playlist with Post Malone and Russ, a party mix with some your standard frat boy bops.

-overall, he listens to a lot of popular music

Yamato/Tenzou

-another tough one to nail down!!!

-i truly think Yamato is a man of all tastes as well

-however.... i get country music vibes???

-not like new, pop, country. but the classics. Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton.

-he also likes jazz! and big band/swing. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin. What i would refer to as whiskey drinkin music. kinda classy and fun

Sai

-girl

-i truly do not know

-the man is an enigma

-i think once he joins team 7 and kinda strays away from the foundation he’s gonna be all about trying new stuff

-so one day he’s listening to Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran and Ariana Grande. Radio pop, entry level shit

-and the next time you see him its songs he heard on tiktok exclusively

-eventually he’s down a rabbit hole, consuming music in mass quantities and he’s into Crystal Castles and Grimes. Then next week its Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. Then it’s Judas Priest and Guns N Rose.

-everyone just gives up trying to keep track

Shikamaru

-oh its male manipulator music ALLLL DAY

-tame impala, mac demarco, the front bottoms, arctic monkeys, modern baseball, the smiths

-you get the idea

-dont necessarily think he's the ‘male manipulator’ type but he’s def the edgy smoking cigs and listening for the lyrics type

-i don't have to go into detail here you know I'm right

Ino

-see, her and Sakura go down similar paths

-she started off with the y2k bubblegum pop phase but her progression is a little more understandable

-shes your typical indie (except they aren't really indie) pop darling. Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Marina and Diamonds, Melanie Martinez, the 1975.

-what I'm saying is she was definitely on tumblr in 2014 and just never moved past that phase (did any of us tbh)

-as time goes on though she starts to branch out a lil. loves the mainstream women of rap! Cardi B, Megan thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj, Doja Cat. constantly bopping

Choji

-i couldn't find any gifs of this cutie smiling and that's a crime i want addressed RIGHT NOW

-but music wise?? i mean he’s a sweetheart right?? genuinely likes pop music! Ed Sheeran, Maroon 5, Katy Perry. HUGE Bruno Mars fan surprisingly

-i can see him just bopping his head along to the radio, just vibing and not being picky. loves a good ballad. Sam Smith, John Legend.

-hes just having a good time

Hinata

-queen of yearning and pining

-girl in red, mitski, HOZIER

-i feel like her playlist just looks like someone let a closeted queer girl put it together

-ABBA, St. Vincent, Florence + the Machine

-also just soft pop vibes. she’s defo posting sunset videos with the Lumineer’s playing in the background. HEAVY cottage core inspo

Shino

-here is your true emo king

-the trinity of course. P!ATD, MCR, Fallout Boy

-then Twenty One Pilots, Paramore, GORRILAZ

-he gives me also like art kid vibes as he gets older? Weezer, Wallows, Cage the Elephant. you know the type

Kiba

-kinda smilar to Naruto tbh

-but it HAS to be FIRE. no sad music! bass turned up and LOUD always

-i feel like he even went through a dubstep phase.

-hes the guy in the mcdonalds drive thru ‘you know what I'm here for’ *blasts Sicko Mode*

-some stand out faves are Travis Scott, Tyler, the Creator, Kendrick Lamar, Freddie Dredd

-he’s actually pretty cool tbh

Rock Lee

-yall ever been to a football game and they play the same hype songs over and over? ever seen a workout montage in an 80s movie?

-thats this boy. he’s just constantly listening to workout playlists. Eye of the Tiger, Livin’ on a Prayer, Welcome to the Jungle

-outside of that, i would think some of his favorite artists would be things Gai would listen to. Billy Joel, Bon Jovi, the BEASTIE BOYS, Foreigner, Aerosmith

-what I'm trying to say is he listens to the same music ur dad listens to

Neji

-fucking music SNOB

-’you've probably never heard of them’ headass

-and then its like the strokes or vampire weekend or some shit jfc

-male manipulator music part two but 100% fits the stereotype. hes gonna leave you on read and then cry to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

-some standout favorites are the Pixies, Neutral Milk Hotel, alt-J.

-likes some other stuff too. The White Stripes, The Black Keys, some Beck.

-decent taste if he wasn't such an a-hole about it!

Tenten

-ya know what

-hyper pop. 100 gecs, Charli XCX, CMten, SOPHIE, Slayyyter, A.G. Cook.

-i would say she started off kinda like Ino, the 2014 tumblr pop stuff

-then that just got to be too boring. so now she's riding the wave of the super new age stuff.

-neji fucking HATES it and grumbles all the time about ‘its just noise, how can you stand that’ and it only makes her like it more.

194 notes · View notes