#good evening i simply cannot fathom the emotions

[lundenloves]

fatherhood II

*Standing on a soap box, pointing at every one of you.* I will not be responsible for the tears passed in this piece of written emotional catastrophe. It simply had to be done. Simon meeting his daughter for the first time. It's canon. Leave me alone! *Runs away*

↳ no warnings | f!reader | 1.2k

part one | dad!simon masterlist

i may as well be running from lions at this rate, i cannot believe this. yes i can. no one talk to me or ask me the colour of anything for at least twelve days. sigh.

Having a baby sleeping on his chest was not on Simon Riley’s bingo cards for this year. His own baby at that.

Ironically, it was like learning to walk all over again. Having a little person who was completely dependent on you was something he couldn’t fathom at all until the time came. And boy, did it come, straight to the deep end he was.

It started when he was stood on the doorstep to his own home, two days late, taking deep breaths and roughing his hair in attempts to alleviate the bubbling anxiety. He was mentally beating himself up for the fucking career he’d chosen, and the hardships that came with time. Time he wouldn’t get back.

“Fuck sake, Simon.” Came a mutter to himself, slapping one hand of motivation to his cheek before reaching to turn the handle. Baby cries were audible from outside, his jaw tightening at the sound. He hadn’t been home in two weeks. Many an argument had passed to get time off although it just simply wasn’t an option. Forcing his wife to give birth alone bar her family. Christ.

He stepped into the house quietly, as if subconsciously on a fucking stakeout. A shaky sigh came when he’d leant against the wall, dropping his bag and shutting the door behind him.

It was a lot and he hadn’t even met her yet.

His daughter.

A rush of guilt panged in his chest and forced the steps he took toward the living-room. His broad shoulders filled the doorframe, in complete contrast to the tiny baby who lay in your arms.

His cold heart attempted to ignite a spark at the sight, kickstarting a warmth that didn’t quite come. Not until you had caught sight of him and instantaneously teared up. It was like all hell had broken loose in his chest, experiencing emotions he hadn’t felt in years. Still, he couldn’t speak, nor move.

You brought her to him, standing up and pressing your forehead against his chest. “You don’t need to say anything.” He nodded quietly, looking down at the baby in your arms. The inner corners of his eyebrows had raised, jaw tensing and loosening between seconds.

You could practically see the thoughts race through his mind. Good and bad.

“Stop worrying, you’re home now.” His shirt had a central wet patch from your silent tears.

You weren’t going to tell him how it was hell, how awful it was that he wasn’t around, and just how much you cried the night you got home with her. Welcomed by an empty house and darkness.

“Simon.” You said weakly, looking up at him and catching the gloss of his dark eyes. He was just as devastated about the whole thing. “Don’t think about it. It’s over. We have her, she’s safe, I'm safe.”

He nodded slowly, eyes unmoved from the baby below him. “Do you want to hold her?” Your voice came as a whisper, aware of his anxieties.

“I don’t know how.” He cleared his throat, looking back up to you. The hardness in his eyes was still there, although exposed by the sheen of upset that threatened to spill. You’d never seen him cry. Not once in the seven years of being together.

You smiled a little at him, a quivering one at best. “You just have to support her head.” Your arms lifted toward his, lightly adjusting his positions before handing your daughter toward her father.

And fuck, did it hit you then.

Stepping back, you made an effort to mentally photograph the scene in front of you. His eyes cast down to the baby in his arms, holding her as if she could break any second. The large palm of his hand was bigger than her whole body, supporting her with his arm although she barely used a forearm's worth of space. Her little hands raised upward, entirely relaxed in his arms as opposed to the crying he had walked in on.

His energy had entirely calmed her down.

“How do you feel?” You sucked your lips inward, both hands on your head to calm the maddening amount of emotion running through your stomach.

His eyes remained fixed on his daughter, still frozen in the position you had put him in. “I don’t know.” He admitted, voice as deep as ever although it had a strain to it.

You nodded. “That’s okay.”

The two of you shared a silence for a minute or two, just entirely in the moment for your daughter and the small babbles she made every now and then. The only consistent sound was her breathing, only audible for the dead silence in the house.

He shifted, “Are you alright?”

You rubbed your arm, looking up at him to find his eyes already on yours. “Mhm.” It was the truth, although he was evidently searching for a different answer. “Just glad you’re home.”

“Have you slept much?”

“Not really. But that’s okay.” The sweet tone of your voice made his shoulders drop, arms relax and his eyes soften. Well, until the baby began to cry and he tensed up all over again, silently panicking while looking to you. “Relax, Si.”

He screwed his face, letting her small hand curl weakly around his finger in hopes she would stop crying. “She’s fine. You’re fine.” A warm laugh escapes you and a slight smile plays on his lips at the sound. “She’s just tired.”

He pushed his arms toward you, gesturing you take her back. He was tired. You could see it in his eyes, “She’s still crying.”

“I couldn’t hear that.” You quip and he tsks, holding his arms out a little further. “Sit with her, it’ll be easier on your arms.” It was a thing for you, wanting him to have her in his arms as often as he could and not scare himself away.

He gave you a predictably unsure look before moving to the sofa. Each step he took was cautious to not stir her even further, sitting down slowly. You leant against the dining table, looking at him from across the room as he mumbled words you couldn’t hear to the baby in his arms.

When he had relaxed, she too calmed down. The steady breathing of his chest created a rise and fall that drifted her to sleep, small fingers still wrapped around his the best they could.

“Are you alright if I shower?”

He looked up in your direction, a flash of a panic appeared across his features. “What do I do if she wakes up?” His glance directed back down to the unthreatening baby in his arms.

“Just talk to her, like you just did.” You walked over, leaning down over the back of the sofa to press a kiss to his cheek. “I know it’s hard, but don’t think about it too much.” Hands placed on his shoulders, massaging into his collarbones.

He hummed in response.

“I’ll be ten minutes.”

Simon only lasted three. Three minutes of staring down at his daughter, alone and full of emotion for her but it wasn’t willing to come out just yet. Fatigue had taken over and by the time you had gotten back, ready to put her down for the night, she was already deep in sleep along with her father.

She was on his chest, arm raised upward to his neck where her tiny fingers touched his skin. His head tilted to the back of the sofa, two hands supporting her while soft snores left him.

Fatherhood.

reblogs and comments are very much appreciated! i’ll sit in a hole if no one pats me on the head every now and then.

taglist? fill out this form.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x f!reader #ghost mw2 #mw2 fanfic #mw2 x reader #call of duty mwii #cod mwii #cod mw2 x reader #cod mw fanfiction #cod mw2 #cod imagine

[iheartuwu]

₊˚ ♡ random relationship hc’s ◞ leon s. kennedy

fem!reader, fluff, angst, established relationship, implied age gap for like one or two hc’s, wrote these in an id leon brainrot fueled spur lmfao so mostly for an older leon ig !? would love to expand on some of these in a fic, wc 0.6k ╮

gift giving is definitely one of his strongest love languages, however he’s not one for grand gestures or overtly romantic gifts. his gifts are practical, thoughtful, consistent reminders that he’s always thinking of you because he’s never been good with words. he prefers to not be present when you receive them and he’s SO deliberately discreet about it too. subtly replacing your skincare or fav products that are running out with brand new ones, delving into his mental notes of what you’re running low on when he’s at a shop. scheduling food or flower deliveries for when he’s away on a mission or work related tasks. any praise would probably make his skin crawl because he just can’t handle it

terms of endearment feel unnatural to him and rarely fall past his lips unless you seem to react positively to them. i don’t see him as someone who’s that experienced in committed long term relationships ( or relationships in general ) due to the nature of his work and lifestyle. he defaults to ‘babe’ until he learns which terms you prefer / dislike

leon would never accept your offers or attempts to pay for a thing ( i swear by this ). this doesn’t come from a place of arrogance or urge to fulfill some ‘traditionally’ masculine role. his disposable income is plentiful, and he’s happy to pay when the opportunity arises, he honestly doesn’t even think about it and merely hands over his credit card. receiving gifts can often be hard for him but he’ll never purposely display his discomfort or refuse

extremely dry texter and doesn’t really use his phone despite being tech savvy, all of his texts end with periods. rarely ever uses emojis ( his personal favs are 👍👎 and the occasional ❤️ ). typically one word responses. doesn’t understand half of the abbreviations you use. send him a keyboard smash and he’ll think you’re having a stroke. prefers to call you instead

always the driver ( he insists on it ). always has the seat warmer on for you. if you do drive he becomes a backseat driver which can be mildly frustrating. comments on your song choices when you play music in his car but would never tell you to stop no matter how grating it is on his ears and simply endures. sometimes opts for his motorcycle over his car solely because he gets to be held onto by you. would literally never let you even fathom the idea of driving his motorcycle

frequent date nights at borderline obnoxiously ritzy restaurants to compensate for his time spent away from you due to his job. also bc this man cannot cook. does not let you know in advance. he simply says “we have a reservation tonight” like an hour before which often results in you scrambling to get ready

he struggles with sharing his ( darker ) emotions, accompanied by a habit of opting to brush your concerns off. vulnerability is a foreign language to him. he’s scarily good at pretending he is fine, but you manage to see glimpses of his deteriorating wellbeing in his body language. the heavy sighs upon waking up, his slight recoil from your touch, his posture stiffening after you ask him what’s on his mind. this doesn’t come from a place of distrust in any way, he truly just doesn’t want to ‘burden’ you and convinces himself that his struggles aren’t important in the grand scheme of things. he also knows the source of his stress and trauma is for the most part confidential and he tells himself he’s doing it for your own safety and protection. when he does open up by his own volition, he keeps it brief, spares most of the details, his composure rarely falters and he’s itching to move on from the subject. you’ve never seen him cry :(

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy headcanons #leon kennedy drabble #leon kennedy #resident evil x reader #i could go on and on about him fr

[notelcol]

Wriothesly enemies to lovers (more like annoyance to denial💀)

You were always in the fighting rings. That would be fine if you knew how to fight. It made him angry to watch you, every day since you arrived two weeks ago you had walked in that ring and made an utter fool of yourself. The first week he found it a little funny, but by the start of the second it became painful to watch. He could not fathom why you kept going back in. By the end of the second week he decided to call you into his office, you were starting to bring shame upon the fighting rings.

You were a bit confused as to why you had been corralled to the Dukes office during your lunch.

“Save my food!” You called over your shoulder to Julienne, the woman you were talking with before you were interrupted. She simply laughed in reply. Your food was definitely going to be gone when you came back.

You started to become nervous as the looming doors grew larger with each step. What could he want? Has something happened to your family on land? Your mind raced with possibilities. You even considered the idea that someone had gotten you in trouble somehow. The echoing creak of the doors opening broke your questioning thoughts.

You looked around the round room, black shiny decor with gold accents seemed to be its theme. You found it rather pretty, which surprised you. The decor in the dorms were no where near pretty.

“Ahem.” You were reminded of the Dukes presence. “I assume you’re wondering why you are here?” You nodded in reply, allowing him to continue. “I ordered you here today in the hopes that you would shed some light on something that has been bothering me since you arrived.” His statement caused you to swallow nervously, you couldn’t think of what he was referring to. You hadn’t put a toe out of line.

“I don’t understand.” You said, making him sigh.

“Neither do I.” His answer confused you more. “I don’t understand why you let Julienne pummel you every day.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “You made me miss my lunch to ask me that? You must be drunk on your title, I guess the rumours are true.” You smirked when his eyebrow twitched.

“I think you will find it is well within my duties to put a stop to someone making my fighting ring look like a flawed system.” His self righteousness was irritating you already. Much to your dismay, he continued. “Give me a good reason not to ban you from the ring.” He should have outright banned you for the sake of the system he created, but he was compelled to know why you were doing this to yourself. Luckily for him, you were amused by the situation and decided to explain.

“Julienne is my friend. She’s teaching me to fight. We thought it would be fun to make a show of it. Not much entertainment round here.” The answer was simple and made him snort, very uncharacteristic of the image you had painted of the Duke.

“She’s obviously not doing a very good job.” He snickered. Was he teasing you? How insufferable. You jumped to defend your friend.

“She told me that the best way to become a good fighter is to get your ass beat and learn from it.” Julienne was trying her best, it wasn’t her fault you weren’t strong yet. His smirk dropped into something more sincere, eyes meeting yours intensely.

“That works for natural fighters, but for people like you….you will never learn that way.” He shattered your hopes. Now you really didn’t like this guy. “There are two kinds of fighters. Ones foundation is instinct and emotion, while the others is foresight and precision.” You tried to take in his words. “You are clearly not an instinctive fighter and quite frankly, your emotions are all over that ring and not in a useful way.” He explained and you did not know whether to be offended or not. “If you wish to fight in that ring again, it’s on you to learn the foresight and precision needed in battle. Until then, you are banned. You cannot continue using Julienne’s technique, it’s not for you.” You sort of understood him, but it still annoyed you. How can you learn to fight when you’re banned from the fighting ring?

He stood from his seat and rolled up his sleeves.

“Get up.” He ordered. You furrowed your brows but complied anyway. You realised his intentions when he held his fists up, bare arms flexed and ready to fight. He was going to teach you. You copied his stance, barely in position before he swung. You swerved left, his fist just missing your shoulder. Your leg stretched out while you dodged so you decided to use it to kick his ankles, earning a grunt and an impressed nod.

You landed a few well placed and timed hits while avoiding most of his. You were doing your best to be precise and keep your mind steady. He decided to test your foresight, sending a punch he knew you could dodge. When you ducked, he spun around and kicked you to the ground. You fell ungracefully. As always you got back up, impressing the Duke once again, your determination was shining through. You however, thought you needed to up your game. You refused to show any weakness. You threw your punches harder and faster, but every single one missed as he weaved from side to side.

Rage erupted from your throat as the Duke grabbed your hand mid punch, stopping its course to his face. “Slow down.” He chuckled. “Let’s do that sequence again but slowly.” He leaned to the side and pulled your fist in the same direction, leading you into the pace. Just as you registered the fluttering in your heart, he dropped his hand and leaned to the other side. You blinked hard before throwing a slow punch with your opposite hand. You went back and forth like this a few times, finding a rhythm reminding you of clock pendulums. You could tell he wanted you to find a way to break the rhythm. So you threw another punch the same way, then stole his trick. You twirled when your punch went past his head, then hit his neck with your other hand.

He wheezed loudly, the noise bouncing off the walls. He was actually taken by surprise by your choice, he was expecting you to go for the ankles again. You had to stifle your laugh, though it didn’t work too well.

“Well done. You picked that up quick.” He spoke, voice a little raspy. “A few more sessions and you will be allowed to return to the ring.” His statement made you grin. The breath in his lungs got caught as he saw your eyes light up. He did not know if it was you or his throat at fault so he coughed, but it was clear.

“That will be all for today. Go have lunch. I’ll send a message out to explain why you’re late back to work.” You were confused why he ushered you out so fast, but assumed it was busyness. You were surprised he even had time to train someone in the first place.

You walked back to the canteen, stomach rumbling loudly. You hoped Julienne didn’t eat your food. Lunch was probably over by now though, so even if she didn’t, it was likely gone. You finally turned the corner, pleasantly surprised to see your friend sitting next to your untouched food.

“You waited!” Julienne was a true gem.

“Lucky for you I skipped work today, had the extra time to wait around.” She punched your shoulder. “I got to go now! I have a bet on some guy in the ring, gunna try catch the end.” Julienne grabbed her drink and stood from bench. “You can tell me later why you’ve come back from the Dukes office all hot and sweaty.” She winked before dashing away, leaving you to smile to yourself at her antics.

While you ate your cold lunch, your mind found itself on the Duke. He was annoying and self righteous, but also kind enough to teach you how to fight properly. His curiosity intrigued you, but you hated how he teased you. Most of all you hated how he made your heart skip a beat when he stood too close. Fighting with him felt like an intimate dance. You cursed when caught yourself looking forward to your next session with him. Yet you prayed to the archons that he shared your sentiments.

Ty for reading this❤️

Requests are open ✨

#genshin x reader #x reader #genshin impact #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley #fortress of meropide #genshin fluff #light angst #writing #anime and manga #fight scene #enemies to lovers #genshin fanfic #genshin x you #wriothesley x you #teyvat #gaming

[animusxy]

Aemond Targaryen x Blind! Reader Pt.4

Summary: You and Aemond getting protective of one another when others in the Red Keep make snide remarks about the other.

Requested: I thought this was a great idea that was brought to my attention by @ateliefloresdaprimavera. I love this idea so much so thank you for coming up with it!

Warnings: Near decapitation?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 3.5 / Part 4 / Part 4.5 / Part 5

I wrote a bit too much again so there will be a 4.5 showing how you get protective of him.

There is no specific age for this one, it's applicable over all their years

When Aemond gets protective, he also gets aggressive.

But the aggression is never once focussed on the person he's trying to protect.

Perhaps only if he thought they were being reckless or stupid about it.

He wouldn't get annoyed at you for it though. More so because there was no way that you could know if someone was trying to pull something on you.

You only had their voice to rely on and that was simple enough to control.

It's part of the reason why Aemond was with you when he could be at gatherings.

If he was there then that deterred essentially everyone, especially those with bad intentions.

This became more prominent in the later years after his mutilation and he often spoke with you over the contempt he had for his nephew, Lucerys, who was let off with no more than a slap on the wrist.

Even if it had been an accident, and deep down Aemond knows it was, you couldn't fathom how he could not have been at least had a stern talking to afterwards.

Yes, Aemond had broken his nose and called him and his brothers bastards but was that really as bad as losing an eye permanently. Especially for a dragon-riding prince and sword prodigy.

You told him he deserved the punch for what he said to Baela and Rhaena.

He eventually came to agree with you, it was their mother's funeral after all, and they were just children.

It had taken around two moons though.

So, I personally imagine that when Aemond is feeling protective, or as though someone may be approaching you for no good reason, he would actively stare them down.

Well, to him, he's simply observing. But after the loss of an eye, he grew into the habit of not having to blink as much, so it comes across as staring.

Or glaring as Helaena would put it.

He knew that while people treated you kindly to your face, they would often exchange crude remarks about you and little accidents that happened due to your condition which you had no control of.

While you often joked about Aemond being a force of nature, you could deny how the air seemed to still and freeze when his anger came to the surface.

Perhaps it was because he rarely ever let his emotions come to the surface.

He stuffed it deep inside of him until the emotions began to simmer just beneath the surface.

Then all it took was one little comment to set him off and have these emotions bursting from him like a ferocious dragon would with fire.

Yes, Aemond reminded you off a dragon in everything but species.

You'd heard him have one of these outbursts at lords for their remarks towards himself. He never did it with the servants or women.

The respect he had for them didn't allow it.

He would often say 'Imagine being raised to believe that your place was only beneath another on the basis of something you cannot control.'

If women said something to make him rage, he would not let it show on his face, which was arguably much scarier. He would say the same things he would've had he been talking to a male but it lacked the fire per say.

Instead, he spoke in low monotone while his eyes displayed the fire he held within.

It was safe to say that Aemond was known as it bit of a feminist. Made sense considering he was raised to protect his mother and his sister and the closest males he had were his brother (a twat), his father (absent) and Criston Cole.

The latter also being a bit of a feminist himself, though he always held hatred for Rhaenyra.

Anyways, getting back on track.

When Aemond was angry, everyone could tell. Without even being able to see him they could tell.

It was even more terrifying to be on the receiving end.

Aemond was highly tolerant to many things but not to slander towards his family (that includes you as well).

In one instance, he hears your name being whispered amidst the courtyard dedicated for training as he passes by.

This causes him to pause and look over the side of the wall where he saw two guests, low lords.

He listens in with a calm expression but his anger flares more with each passing word.

They were conversing about the likely hood that you would be betrothed and wed. And who to.

His fingers cut into his palms with increasing pressure as he wonders if he should grab a sword and kill them both.

He's certainly tempted to.

He looks at the sword rack just to see how long it would take to get there and back but refocuses on the lords beneath him.

'There doesn't look to anything wrong with her when I look at her.'

'No, there are no visible defects but it's all the same, isn't it? No one wants to wed a blind woman. I mean, what can they do for their husband?'

'Well wouldn't that make it easier to form an alliance with her house if that is the case?'

'Yes, I imagine so. Are you thinking of asking for her to consider wedding one of yours? Then again, she doesn't have much say in the matter.'

'No, but she's close to the Prince Aemond. People say that he holds an uncanny resemblance to Prince Daemon in both looks and personality. While he's with her, few would dare try.'

His fury can barely be contained and he can tell that it shows from how the servants have swerved around him and no one is walking down the hall he resides in.

No one dares come close to him when he's like this.

For good reason.

Although he must admit the final statement makes his insides swell with emotions, he can't yet name.

'Well yes, but Aemond wouldn't be able to stop betrothal, wedding or the consummation. She would never be able to stop it if it was her parent’s wish and the Queen would never allow him to do so anyway.'

'Yes, and I imagine that it would be easy to get her to comply at the wedding and the consummation if needed.'

What little composure he had is blown away as he turns to march down the stairs. Grabbing a sword on his way.

It's a vague statement but the implication is clear.

Aemond wouldn't allow you to go through such hardships if something could be done about it.

It would seem that the lords had realised their mistake before he had even turned back around to swing at the closest scumbag with all his strength.

Had the lord not lunged backwards Aemond's blade would've cut cleaner than Valyrian steel (Heh, Daemon would be amused and impressed if he heard about it).

It did create a clean groove in the stone wall perhaps an inch deep.

'One more word and I'll feed you to Vhagar myself!'

He takes a couple more swings but this time he's not trying to kill them, just scare them a little.

He continues to stare them down until Helaena comes to grab him so that they could go find you together for her lessons.

Seeing you in person definitely calms him down more.

Helaena all but pushes him to sit directly next to you. Shoulders brushing together slightly.

He smiles at your eagerness to learn (and speak to him but he doesn't need to know that yet) and Helaena grins at the two most important people in her life, knowing what is to come next for them.

I thought I was going to go over again so I need to write 4.5 on another piece. But I think that will come up tomorrow or the day after, I've got a lot of stuff going on but writing these is more like a reprieve. I've mostly been focussing on this thread because it's the easiest to write but I have seen other requests and I've been planning how to write those too. So they'll come when my schedule lightens up some. BUT I'M STILL TAKING THEM!

I have about 3/4 more scenarios lined up for this thread including:

Fights breaking out at Aegon's and Helaena's wedding, in typical Westerosi fashion. You two worrying for each other's safety.

Her family reacting to how she's so clearly cared for at the Red Keep and Aemond snapping at them for their treatment of her (REQUESTED, I love this idea by the way. Thanks so much for it!)

Her worried about her looks and she asks Aemond if she's pretty or not. (REQUESTED, also an amazing idea that I'm looking forwards to doing).

Aegon trying to make advances on her only to be intercepted by Helaena or Aemond (or both). Would likely involve Aegon getting slapped if you're interested cause Helaena ain't letting that happen to her best friend.

I am also taking requests for this particular thread if you wanna see something that it's listed above. I've also been gifted ideas for a part 2 for the Daemon fic I posted a while ago which I'm gonna continue soon.

Tag List:

@daddysfavoritesexkitten

@ateliefloresdaprimavera

@tachibubu

@discowizard88

@claudiajacobs

@ephemeralninon

@microwaved-timmies

@sagittariuswritings

@are-y0u-sirius

@icarusignite

@grippleback-galaxy

@random-human02

@liathelioness

@mingiholic

@poohkie90

@tea-effect

@bb-swift

@psychomanias

#aemond #aemond imagine #aemond one eye #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #hotd #aemond targaryen x reader #helaena targaryen #hotd season 1 #prince aemond

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Silver Platters (Les Gold)

Visceral emotions/Testing your devotion/My how it can change when you stop going through the motions

"I swear every line hits me with a ton of bricks. Like I cannot fathom the impact of the whole song right now but as for some examples: 'Thinking about god and all the dreams you didn't follow' just makes me think about the complexity that not only my blorbos, but I myself have with religion and how I feel people have missed out on dreams simply because we were trying to get by instead of really truly living. 'Now you're dressing formal, I've seen this before, as you try to mitigate your fear of being normal' THE IDEA THAT WE ARE AFRAID TO BE NORMAL AND THE FACT THAT IT IS TRUE FR!!!! We dress up in order to feel better about ourselves and to feel just a little more special than we usually do and I just scream because it holds a candle to a truth I don't like to admit (and neither does my OC and some of my blorbos). 'Sleeping on a bed of thorns, yet still you call them roses' Lyrical genius. Oh how we suffer through painful situations, because we convince ourselves that they're good for us or even worse convince ourselves that we actually enjoy them ToT. 'My how it can change when you stop going through the motions' I'm tired of analyzing, but I wanted to point out this line too which I think speaks for itself!"

Good 4 You (Olivia Rodrigo)

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy/Not me, if you ever cared to ask/Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me/Baby, God, I wish that I could do that/I've lost my mind, I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom/But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it/But I guess good for you

"Oh who doesn't love a messy break up song? Drama? Angst? Betrayal? Romance? Lasting Bitterness? Hits so many fandom itches"

Silver Platters submitted by @ghostlystrangers

#fuck you up bracket #tournament #polls #les gold #olivia rodrigo

[cuppierre]

no more Clint hate. we are RETIRING Clint hate. Stardew Valley characters are written so superficially (albeit very fun, memorable and sweet) that i simply cannot fathom a deeper allegory of sexism into this game in one of its characters. NO MORE !!!

transferring examples a bit: like ok anti capitalism but the anti capitalism is written very lightly that the most anti socialist communist mf out there would automatically go against Joja out of intuition. because frankly speaking Stardew isnt that kind of game and it doesnt need to of course but more importantly its just completely inoffensive

i mean i guess i could sum it up as me not understanding any hate for any character in this game just due to how inoffensive the flaws of any characters are

"Clint is an incel and a creep" you are very bad at extending the tone of the game to the character dialogue. why must we interpret his "I'm a nice guy!" and "You won..." dialogues as anything other than middle school understanding of romance (very appropriate for the tone of the game). i mean, even Shanes arc was handled on the level of a middle schooler - what kind of fucking depressed alcoholic gets better with marriage and some chickens LMFAOOO but people dont extend that same level of concern towards the impact of his arc because... yeah i have no idea why actually 💀

i think i can somewhat reverse engineer why those dialogues are picked. the nice guy line being merely a reference to his loserness minus anything genuinely dangerous (no one is dangerous in Stardew Valley there are no high stakes lol), and the you win line as a play on the "good guy winning the girl" trope

i mean i know people are passionate about this game and the hate isnt serious either - like, this is all make believe and were all having fun because were exploring a wide range of emotions. but, sometimes, i wonder how much people cannot differentiate between canon tone vs their own perception of it. its not anything unethical to misinterpret the tone but it sure is annoying having some mf yapping how "creepy" a very harmless, middle schooler written character is

side note: dialogues of Clint wanting to rizz Emily even post Emily marriage is merely a coding problem and not intentional narration. the part where he "stalks" her, he wasnt even stalking. he was just garnering courage to confront her but chickened out so hid in a bush, only to come out after the coast is clear. hes less of a creep and just someone whos really cowardly

i think some people like to intentionally make casual stories deeper, and i think thats fine, though i guess its just not my cup of tea. i think the only genuine concern i would have against Stardew is the racism in regards to Ginger Island. no, not like direct racism - nothing that is explicit, but it carries the biases based on race discrimination against natives (but... thats a whole other story. no no not here yet). in narrative Clint doesnt even actually do anything rude so theres no way for the narrative to justify him towards us, the audience. i mean, the narrative literally gives him a bad ending lmfao all he did was be pathetic

#very spontaneous rant #i keep thinking abt him even though hes literally not really a fave at all #my annoyance stems from misinterpretation of the games tone i guess #im not annoyed by Diliberate misinterpretation/transformation of the game #mostly boils down to personal tastes... #and maybe trauma from the constant exposure of horrible Twitter takes that strive to interpret the canon in the most nonsensical way #text #stardew valley #stardew clint #clint #cuppspost #cuppstalks #rant

[maikingsenseofit]

In Defense of Mai and Maiko: Part 1

Time to begin the long overdue meta I’ve been planning to write for a looonnggg time. After being exposed to various anti-Maiko arguments online, I decided to rewatch the series to see if I could understand where they were coming from.

The truth is the rewatch made my belief in Maiko even stronger. It made me empathize with Mai even more. This essay will cite several brilliant points made by @thethiefandtheairbender in their essay “Why Maiko works” and will refute many of the points made by @araeph in their essay “Zuko, Mai, and The Nature of True Intimacy.” Please let me know if I misquoted anything or if I failed to cite someone. With that, let’s start.

Mai is first introduced in the episode “Return to Omashu.” She begins by expressing her utter contempt at the city where her family is stationed. This is the first time she did not shy away from expressing herself, her opinion, and her feelings. She clearly states

“There really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this place.”

We then see her mom chastise Mai for expressing herself with a “thinly veiled order” as @thethiefandtheairbender puts it, disguised with a patronizing smile, when she says the following:

“Mai, your father was appointed governor. We're like royalty here. Be happy and enjoy it.”

The first argument I’ve seen, I think from @araeph, is that Michi (Mai’s mom) is encouraging Mai to find comfort and solace and that she is encouraging Mai to express herself.

But when we actually see Mαi’s mother in “Return to Omashu,” she is encouraging Mαi to show emotion:

That cannot be more wrong. What Michi says is that Mai is allowed to express herself, under the condition that it conforms to the right form of expression.

Like @thethiefandtheairbender says, discomfort and unhappiness are not welcome. Silence, and therefore apathy, is the appropriate way to express oneself.

Michi isn’t even curious about why Mai is feeling so much contempt about Omashu. She’s not even in the slightest bit willing to remediate her boredom, or suggest a solution that would genuinely help Mai overcome her feelings. Any other mother, upon hearing that their child genuinely hates the place they just moved to, would do either of those things. But Michi frowns and shuts Mai down. She would rather deal with a quiet and unhappy Mai than an expressive and unhappy Mai.

I point this out because this is a trait Mai learns from her own family under the pretense of “love.” Think about the striking parallel to Mai and Zuko on the ship. Mai asks Zuko if he is cold. She does not ask him if he is doing okay, or if he’s alright, or if he needs someone to talk to. Her question is quite simply put. When Zuko launches into a preamble about how he is rightfully upset and confused about returning home, Mai listens to him, she does not cut him off. Zuko opens up to Mai the way Mai opened up to her mother. Mai, using the traits she adopted from her mother when she attempted to console her, tells Zuko to stop worrying. Since she learned to simply will away her emotion in favor of apathy and silence, she assumes that Zuko, or ANYONE at that matter, is equipped to do the same. That’s how she learned to interact with the people she loves, especially her mom and dad. Since this 14/15 year old girl hasn’t embarked on a life changing journey that challenges her perspectives and her notions of right and wrong, she does the same with Zuko. Because that is what she was taught all along.

TW: contents of abuse

I’ve seen many anti-Maiko arguments, from now deactivated accounts like @honxrable, claim that Mai was being abusive to Zuko here. But what’s so ridiculous to me is that in the same breath they fail to acknowledge that Michi was abusive to Mai. They argue that Mai had a good, comfortable upbringing and that she was exaggerating the extent of just how unhappy her childhood was and that Michi a great mom to Mai, thereby downplaying her character development or just how hard it was for Mai to finally speak up and express herself. What Michi did to Mai is the same thing that Mai did to Zuko. So what is the narrative here? Is it that Mai was being abusive to Zuko and Michi is absolved of any accusations of her being a bad/emotionally abusive mother? That Mai actually isn’t a caring girlfriend for attempting to offer solace in her own way by shutting down Zuko, but Michi is for doing the exact same thing? I mean look at how Michi is justified here, for doing the exact same thing Mai did.

This isn’t even said sternly, or with the threat of punishment; it’s gentle chiding, trying to get her daughter to cheer up out of concern.

Mai is criminally misunderstood by select portions of the fandom. She was brought up in an unhappy, repressive childhood and was conditioned to love and express herself the way her parents taught her to. Yet she’s held to unfair standards and her entire relationship is characterized by her actions before she learned to change and grow. She learns to overcome this through her relationship with Zuko. She learns to understand why and how a person expresses emotions and eventually does the same herself. I will talk about that more in part 2.

#mai #Zuko #atla maiko #pro maiko #avatar the last airbender #zuko mai #ATLA #indefenseofmaiandmaiko #anti zutara #causeitwillbeinthenextparts 

[ramoth13]

Contrasts in Live-Action Adaptions:

Jackson's Legacy and Those That Come After

Mae g'ovannen!

As time has progressed, we are well into the new series and I have yet to see a proper examination of these adaptations that discusses how they have approached the source material (outside of using either as an excuse to justify why you should or should not hate the other).

So with that said, I shall refrain from comparing them in terms of "faithfulness" or "accuracy" and instead look at what changes were made and how they compare to the stories we know. Before we begin, it is fair to point out that six movies, while extensive, simply cannot maintain the weight of story that a TV show provides. Nor can a TV show be as concise and move as quickly as a film/series. Though these comparisons are interesting, we should remember that these really are in two related, but separate, genres.

I have mentioned in another post that the orcs are truly different for many reasons, not least of which because we can actually take the time to get to know them. This is all at once, beautiful to see, terrifying to witness, and disheartening to understand. But since I have already dedicated a post to the differences between Jackson's vision and those of McKay and Payne's regarding orcs, I will move on. Suffice to say, it is fascinating to see more of orcish culture.

People tend to focus on the differences between Jackson and M&P, but I would also like to point out their similarities. First of which is the portrayal of Elven femininity.

Contrary to popular belief, it was Jackson's depiction of Arwen (the all but non-existent character in the books whose entire story was relegated to an appendix in RotK) that first popularized the sword weilding elf-maiden visual that challenged the concept of elvish passivity (at least in terms of female elves) which has had a lovely, albeit confusing effect upon viewers. It is interesting that while M&P's version of this trope featuring Galadriel is the only canon example of this (other posts go into more detail but Galadriel was canonically not only a great warrior and athlete but in many versions fights and slays Elves), theirs is the most critiqued. But in any case, this "new" trend of elven warrior maidens started (though a few others had done it first, none had popularized it to the same degree) by Jackson has become an endearing element across genre's and Elvish portrayals.

(Note on the picture choices: finding a picture of Vex from the Vox Machina show proved absurdly difficult for some reason which I cannot fathom, and the anime shown is older than Jackson's movies, but is a good illustration of female elves as passive magical powers as opposed to modern takes of physical prowess)

The female Elvish warrior is a staple in the fantasy genre, and while elvish maidens have often been central to conflict, they were, until Jackson's bold replacement of Glorfindel with Arwen, primarily reserved as magic users in battle. The interesting factor here is how these portrayals have been reintegrated into fantasy as a trope. I'm not complaining in the least. I honestly quite like it, but none the less, his legacy in this has had far reaching effects.

Another fascinating comparison to consider is the display of Elves, and here I do not mean the changes in hair length or the use of models (Jackson) as opposed to actors (M&P). Rather, their emotions. One of the reasons I believe that so many movie viewers have had such a hard time with the show is that the elves express far more emotion than in the movies. In the books, elves swing from trees, sing la-di-da songs, and annoy Gandalf to no end, to say nothing of the furious and murderous rages of the Feanorians or the countless acts of jealousy, pettiness, and cruelty. Yet, with the singular example of Thranduil in the Hobbit trilogy, Jackson's elves are almost always stoic. Some might even say, uncaring or disinterested.

M&Ps elves are far more given to emotion, displaying all of the elven pride and arrogance that we have come to associate with the Elves of the first and second age in the books. Even still, no adaptation has come close to the vine-swinging, Gandalf annoying, la-di-do singing Elves of the Hobbit. This is not shocking of course, imagine how well people would take any adaptation when some of fiercest warriors around were dancing around and singing like children. No matter how beautiful the palace, such elves would be seen as absurd by the average viewer.

Which brings another point up about these adaptations, the architecture. Notice that there are subtle differences in the vast displays of Khazad-dûm and Elvendom as a whole, but for the most part, they both utilized the same art designs that Jackson did to evoke the same awe and wonder. Yet, for Numenor, they went full on grecian/roman. I am not upset by this, but it does a lovely job of illustrating the changes in time. Jackson's Gondorian soldiers/architecture had elements of ancient Greece (think of the marble statues in Gondor's throne room) but for the most part it was very medieval and byzantine.

Armor was worn underneath draped cloaks to display sigils or else they were simply fully plated. Yet in M&Ps Numenor, they wear robes and the armor is worn in full display over the clothes, wearing armors in more of a Greco/Roman inspired look.

These are minor changes, but fit the narrative of illustrating the shifting of time and I think work very well to show two related but distant societies.

Shifting again, I briefly mentioned this before but I feel it is so incredibly cool not to bring up and make a big deal about, but notice that the Harfoots have a tradition of naming their fallen? On the outside, this makes sense. Memorizing those that were lost or left behind would only be natural, especially as a nomadic peoples. They obviously keep records of who was lost and when. But this leads into something for more meaningful when you consider that these records of people lost, are also acting as geneologies. The records of the fallen, which are sacred texts, become the very same important documents by which hobbits keep track of their family. What started off as a way to pay respect to the dead, in the show, is exactly the element of Hobbit culture that all Hobbits obsess over, including Bilbo. In portraying Harfoots as they have, M&Ps adaptations have set the stage for Jackson's Hobbits, which is just such a clever little thing.

A final little thing I've noticed is in regards to the weapons. In Jackson's films, all elven weapons are curved and one sided with the exception of one, Glamdring, which is wielded by Gandalf. Glamdring was King Turgon's personal sword in the first age. When I first saw RoP, I was shocked to see so many cross-guards on the Elvish swords, expecting the Jackson look to be continued. Yet, interestingly, we see Númenorians wield curved swords. I love this little change, and were I to comment upon it I might wonder if this was an intentional hint as to the mingling of the last alliance. Perhaps, in M&Ps story, as elves and humans reintegrate into a society together, their weapons reflect those changes of perspective. Elves come to appreciate human ingenuity and rework the design to facilitate more graceful and fluidic slashes, and humans relearn the wisdom of ageless elven forging techniques, making swords that were more sturdy and powerful. Whatever the answer is, it was a fascinating choice (I would have added pictures to illustrate, but there is a 10 picture limit).

I might make a further comparison once the season ends, til then I wish you blessed day in the descended lights of the great trees.

Êl síla erin lû e-govaded 'wîn.

~ Ramoth13

#ramoth13 #silmarillion #film #the hobbit #fandom #jrr tolkien #lord of the rings #tolkien #rings of power #peter jackson #McKay and Payne #lotr orcs #dwarves #sindar elves #noldor elves #tolkien elves #silvan elves #harfoots #hobbits #gondor #numenor #arwen evenstar #galadriel #sauron #histories of middle earth #middle earth #arda #glamdring #gandalf

[awellboiledicicle]

Me: “so i zoned out and made an au that’s Tarnished x Morgott and i keep imagining her doing a bunch of audacity fueled sidequests to earn his respect followed by actually just... speaking with her? And Emotions happen because she met him first as Margit the Fell, and didn’t really flinch at him being an omen. And she doesn’t shy away from speaking to him when he’s not wearing his mimic veil to appear more humanlike. So he’s both comforted that someone exists that doesn’t think an omen king is a terrible horrible thing, but also his self esteem is shit because he still has all the baggage of being Cursed, regardless of if he renounced his cursed blood or not. So once they start getting close to one another he starts wondering if she’s just after his position or just trying to get through him to the Erdtree-- since she’s been brainstorming ways to open the way without harming the tree itself--or if she’s just taken with the form he takes when he wears the veil. So its a whole Thing, and even when they get together and she’s looking for runes with the idea that the Erdtree simply won’t open until the proper level of runes are presented, he’s spending a lot of time doubting things because of his whole deal. And i kept imagining a series of scenes where she comes back from fighting Radahn and finds him trying to file off one of his more prominent facial horns to look ‘less like himself’ for her and she’s pissed because she loves him and hates to see him doubt himself. And they end up having a whole discussion about things, even though he balks a few times about talking about his feelings. Oh and everyone in the palace--because i refuse to believe that there’s NO normal people still just doing their fucking best out here-- thinks the tarnished is a social climber that managed to catch the eye of the veiled monarch, but she manages to have a bit more grace [ha] in relation to speaking to people, since Morgott is terse even on good days and while the veil makes it so he’s not like. sitting on his tail for 5 hours a day hearing petitions or doing the business of ruling, he still has chronic pain from his growths and people can be Trying. Not that the tarnished has infinite patience, she’s just more willing to let someone talk their way to their point while she listens. Mostly because its the only way you get little details about people and how things are going out and about. No, but like, i keep imagining them talking about how the Lands Between can be slowly rehabilitated once the Erd tree lets someone in-- be it his tarnished or another, but he feels it’s probably going to be her--and like. He keeps imagining she’ll take the throne and have to find someone worthy of being her consort because he highly doubts that he’ll be allowed to stay by her side. And if he is, he certainly would be replaced as king. If nothing else, then in the event of his true nature coming out-- the public would never accept an omen as a ruler. Even if elevated by an Elden Lord. Basically i keep imagining all the things and the MASSIVE blow out of a fight they’d have if the Tarnished and Melina talked and realized just what would need to happen to get through the brambles on the tree. I also considered her asking him to use the ‘curse’ in his blood to rot away the thorns without burning the whole tree and him being a hard no on it, even if he knows her response is going to be “fire it is then” because he cannot fathom defacing the Erd tree with his blood. Even though its the blood of Merika and Godfrey, changed as it is. I also keep imagining the fight between Godfrey and the tarnished and Morgott not being terribly pleased his father is there but also kinda surprised the tree didn’t allow him in. I keep thinking of all the things and also because i’m me i keep thinking about the tarnished helping people and somehow this = her infiltrating Moghwyn palace to gain their trust enough that when she goes to fight Melania she incapacitates her using the unalloyed needle [i know i’m playing fast and loose with this here but still] and sneaks her into the palace without raising eyebrows because “well the tarnished is being weird again” isn’t new. And then Miquella and Melania return to the Haligtree to recoup, not that Miquella is in any state to like. react to anything. I keep imagining Varre confronting her once the fighting starts between Mohg and Melania and that his bouquet mace scars her face and it looks really cool--”

my cats, who understand nothing: meow

#why am i like this

[singofsolace]

Thoughts on CZJ in Feud: Bette and Joan

I’m making my way through Feud and I can’t for the life of me understand why Olivia de Havilland sued over the writing of it and Catherine Zeta-Jones’ portrayal of her.

After all, apart from episode 5 and a small bit of 7, she’s no more than a narrator in this story…? Or is that what Olivia was really upset about, if she were honest with herself? Because there’s nothing controversial about the role or the portrayal at all, in my opinion, except that it’s a bit...I don't know...safe? Boxed in? Repressed, like the woman herself?

Don’t get me wrong—Catherine Zeta-Jones as Olivia is beautiful and graceful and calm and all the rest, but CZJ does so little to expand on Olivia's character, it becomes a bit one-note (which, when playing a real person, I can completely understand erring on the side of caution, even though that didn't keep her from being sued in the end anyway!). Objectively, I think, CZJ wasn't playing the role in a flashy or exciting way... so what on earth is so objectionable about CZJ portraying Olivia as a good friend to Bette and a calm, glamorous pillar of strength, who sweeps in either to offer support or to save a production in the midst of high drama...?

What alternative did Olivia have in mind? Did she want CZJ to wild out? No, obviously not, since she apparently sued over the use of the word “bitch” and being portrayed as a “petty gossip.” But in my mind, they wrote Olivia in the most neutral and inconsequential way possible, and I’m frankly shocked that she tried to take this case all the way to the Supreme Court…? And not for nothing, I didn't see Olivia as a "petty gossip" in this show at all; I saw her simply as a narrator (perhaps an unreliable one, as we know she was firmly in Bette's corner, but a narrator nonetheless).

If Olivia wanted to claim damage to her reputation, at the ripe old age of 100, she would need to prove that CZJ's portrayal of her did actually cause her significant financial or emotional harm, and I don’t see how she could possibly be harmed by one of the most beautiful women on the planet—an Oscar-winning actress herself, no less—portraying the role of Olivia de Havilland as a good, loyal friend, who understands the feud between Bette and Joan because she has her own going on with her sister. Which is factual…?! Like, the part that dances around a darker part of Olivia's character is true, and is only touched upon occasionally in the show. It's also always told from Olivia's perspective, so of course the audience is on her side, and we never get too deeply into any perceived unkindness she may or may not have visited upon her sister...? Like when she claims to have never broken her sister's collarbone, we trust that she's telling the truth, because it's framed as one of the many lies her sister has told about her in their own feud.

(For the record, I looked that part up later, because I was shocked by the accusation that Olivia would break her sister's collarbone, and wanted to know if there was any truth to it, and subsequently discovered that at the time Joan Fontaine's collarbone got broken, it was, by Joan's own admission, because she was trying to drag her sister into the water by the ankle, and Olivia fought back against her, and that was how her collarbone broke, in the struggle.)

Anyway, I thought I was going to eventually understand what all of the fuss was about, but I’m on the last episode and I really can’t fathom why Olivia de Havilland would sue when far worse defamation of character happens weekly to celebrities on SNL, and as far as I know, the writers and actors on that show rarely get sued for it, because there are measures in place to protect the right to free speech, which includes parody/performance.

And I cannot stress enough that Catherine Zeta-Jones wasn't doing a parody; at no point did I ever get the feeling, as a viewer, that CZJ was telegraphing disdain for the woman she was playing, or that the audience wasn't supposed to be on Olivia's side, or wasn't supposed to trust her word or motives. The only thing I think bears any weight is Olivia objecting to the documentary/interview style of her "character's" scenes, because that presents those scenes as if they were factual, when they're not. But anyone with half a brain would be able to tell this is a fictionalized account of what happened...?

What if the Queen had sued the writers of The Crown for misrepresenting the show as a factual retelling of her life? Of course it's not factual. We all know that the show is historical fiction, and the private conversations we see between the King and Queen never happened, or if they did, we certainly wouldn't know everything that was said behind closed doors...? The audience accepts that there are parts of the show that are true and can be fact-checked, and other parts that are there to drive the story forward and heighten the drama. That's why it's clearly acting, and not defamation...?

In the end, I just think it's silly for Olivia de Havilland to have made such a fuss over CZJ's portrayal, when it was clearly never intended to be disrespectful or controversial...? If anything, her character on the show was meant to be a foil to Bette and Joan, showing a woman who remained classy and respectable in the midst of her own feud with her sister, rather than hateful and destructive...?

#feud: bette and joan #olivia de havilland #catherine zeta jones #czj filmography

[felikatze]

harriet is to me very interesting as the obligatory tsundere because she breaks tradition in that regard

yes she has the short temper and is easily flustered, but a tendency with tsunderes (especially in more low-brow anime) is that she will be in some way superior to the protagonist and lord that over him. also slapstick violence! because, you know, violence is funny if its against men /s

initially harriet is a classist ass because she's born with a silver spoon in her mouth and she is completely used to everyone bowing to her talent and status. she gets to have this haughty persona because she's never been challenged before.

thus, she is easily flustered when she is challenged. reinhardt can get through her defenses so easily because he simply does not give a shit. he does not care about her status at all. (at least, he pretends not to care outwardly, but that's another can of worms).

Harriet is flustered because he is so far below her standards that she cannot fathom how he could do this. so she walls off and calls him an idiot which he also does not care about because he just throws it right back.

rich noble talented harriet is called an idiot by a beggar. of course she's angry.

(he just likes metaphorically pulling on her pigtails cuz her pouting face is cute. she is a wet kitten in a cardboard box.)

harriet learns that sometimes, there will be people she can't plead status to (like her father, or bertus) and people who will ignore her status (reinhardt, and basically all temple staff)

he forces her to interact like an equal for the first time in her life. she's all bluster. so she only manages to change their dynamic and gain his respect when she starts showing actual skills. ykno. accomplishments by her own merits.

i feel like this is first really seen in the fuckin. what's it called. king of the jungle arc. where she started learning useful small magic instead of just spell of huge explosion, which ends up having way more utility for the whole thing. like underwater breathing. or spell of flashlight. and then she does end up being one of the last people still in the game!

and even later then that. after the darklands arc she grows closer to her class bcuz reinhardt is too busy trying to cope with ptsd. and there we already see character development from her because in this situation where reinhardt is obviously struggling mentally she forgoes her usual banter and instead just has an emotionally honest conversation with him. and they do bond! as equals!

i do actually understand how her embarrassment from reinhardt's teasing would evolve into a crush? because again he's the first person to challenge her. it's not just love at first sight. he challenges her to be better.

again, he's the person who needles her into learning magic based on its utility and not the prestige of the spell. he's the one who shows off her skills to her classmates in the jungle arc. he's good at making other people better themselves. it's vry understandable for someone to want recognition from a person who does that.

and after the beach arc, where again, they have an emotional conversation and actually bond and show each other respect, their dynamic takes a definite shift.

harriet starts teasing him back. and he hates it. instead of attacking his own lack of status, she starts firing back his variety of insults, namely questioning his actions and motivations whenever she can, and now he's on the backfoot in conversation.

after a moment without teasing, its now full force from both sides, and shows off the utter truth;

they're both tsunderes. and always have been.

#feli speaks #the demon prince goes to the academy #i got. off track from the initial point but i think its still fair #i like harriet. she is a wet kitten in a cardboard box to mw #and the tldr of the difference from other tsunderes is that #she doesnt actually have anything to leverage against the protagonist #whereas the typical tsundere will jsut so whatever the fuck she wants #or like. a BAD tsundere will. #typical harem tsundere would've punched reinhardt to next week but unlike a typical harem protag #reinhardt would've just punched back and it would've devolved into a brawl #until someone called the authorities #i dont read my long posts back to order them or whatever do you think i have the focus for that. no.

[archived-and-moving]

Well so... did you like Arcane? Favorite character, moment, etc? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Anon. Oh sweet anon I'm so very sorry you asked this (no im not >:))

Anyway, I loved Arcane. I'd just kind of...decided not to watch it for a few months now, so I missed a lot of the hype when it first came out. (Which, I'm pretty sure will be around 11-ish months while writing this. So uhm. It's been a little bit.) I'm not quite sure why, it's just kind of hard for my brain sometimes, even when my friends really like a piece of media and recommend it to me.

I was actually going on a quick trip, and needed entertainment, so I frantically texted one of my closest friends and boom!!! She recommended I watched Arcane! So finally a downloaded the fourth episode (blaming my phone's funky storage on this one) and watched Happy Progress Day in a good bit of confusion before going back and watching the first three when I got home.

So! Some thoughts: (Spoilers for anyone who's thinking about watching Arcane. It's really good and I truly recommend it, but you will be seriously spoiled if you read any further. You've been warned.)

Favorite Character: Oh!! That's so very hard because I don't think there's a character's writing that I specifically dislike! I enjoy how each and every character is so incredibly interwoven into the plot. However, I think I'm going to have to narrow it down to 3.

First is: Jinx!

Everyone and their mother I feel like has made art about Jinx, and also talked about her, from what little I've seen of the fandom. But goddamn does she deserve it.

She's so incredibly fucked up, but the narrative really makes you understand her actions and why they happen. It almost makes you root for her in a way. The way that her backstory is set up, from start to end is simply incredible.

Each and every path that she faces is another nail in the coffin for what she used to be. Her narrative arc is one of corruption, and her struggle with mental illness is one that is so compelling that whenever the show switches to her POV, I can't help but fist pump and also whisper a horrified "No" at the same time.

Because she's descending into a path of madness driven on by some serious abandonment, a rough life from the get-go, and the urge to convince someone that she's worth the trouble. She's worth it so please please please don't let her go. Don't leave her.

It's such a heartbreaking cycle that truly gets into my emotions and makes me feel. I'm obsessed with the way that the narrative does not throw her away like many of the characters coinciding with her arc are portrayed as doing, but also the way that it balances out her tragic past elements with some absolute badass scenes with such dope action and visuals that the screen she's on is only slightly tinged with sadness.

I wish I could put it into better words, but Jinx is simply off-the-walls in a way that is so unnervingly fun, but also devastating to watch as she scrambles to keep the people she loves close when she feels them drift away.

2. Heimerdinger

You don't understand my love for this eccentric ex-councillor. If I could go out and get lunch with any of these characters it'd be him. I want him to sloppily write all of his ideas on a napkin that I try to decipher for hours, only to fall back onto my bed in defeat.

I want to hear him talk about issues he think are important, and what he finds to be integral to his life. I would literally listen to this dude talk for hours and hours upon end, and watch with childlike wonder at his glorious inventions.

He's literally soooooooo amazing and I love him. I love the way that he was first introduced too!! He's just a goofball who really doesn't try to be funny. And omg when he's wandering the streets and shows the girl the top?? When he finds Ekko???

You literally cannot fathom how wiggily this man makes me feel.

Also I think it's something about his history.

He's seen dangerous devices before. He's seen the rise and the fall of entire planets and populations. He's built a city from the ground up, only upon the idea of progress and the scientific method. He wishes for those around him to let their curiosity take hold and lead them to projects and places all around them.

He truly wishes that everyone has the chance to be a scientist, and he's such an oxymoron. He's a scientist who gets stuck in the ways of his past, and it's a battle that he fights throughout all of his screen-time during the show.

I love Heimerdinger so much <33

Also have you seen his mustache?

[ID: Heimerdinger looking just off to the right, his face contorted in anger with his two fists on a table that reaches up to his waist. END ID]

And finally, last but not least:

Caitlyn Kiramman

This one isn't as rooted in narrative drive as it is for how amazingly Caitlyn fits into the show as a main character simply through her dynamics with other characters alone.

I'm head over heels for her friendship with Jayce. I love the scene that they share in Happy Progress Day, I'm over the moon with the fact that for her investigation she lets Vi go, only to grow to love her as their narrative throws shit at them that they have to face together.

I love that through Caitlyn, we get to see the soft side of Vi come back, the protectivness, the love, and the bickering that comes with it is absolutely a delight. I swear the two of them could have a spin-off Nancy Drew-esc story and I would read it.

And the way that Jinx sees her as a threat? The way that when she sees Vi finding love and being able to cope with her trauma by moving forward, she thinks that there is only one place at Vi's side. That she thinks that Vi is betraying her?

You don't understand. I'm going feral.

I also think that Caitlyn's ambition to do what she loves no matter who tells her otherwise is simply proven wrong. For the girl will be an enforcer, she knows that she will. No one can stop her.

Also she and Vi may or may not be in love and I simply think that that is absolutely a relationship that I need in my life as sapphic (?) myself.

(Honorable mentions go to Viktor and Mel. You both deserve the world and I adore them to bits.)

My favorite things about the show:

Dude. Dude this show is so incredible writing-wise. It tells a compelling story, grappling with so many issues at once and somehow managing to do it all in a clear way. The representation is at it's peak, because these characters are not gay for extra points, they are not black to check off a box. They are deeply thought out characters with narrative arcs that bounce off their traits. They are not simply marketing ploys and it's refreshing. (godDAMN my standards are low)

Anyway the storytelling capabilities that this show pulls off with the dynamic characters bouncing off one another, a seamless timeskip, lore that pulls me in and fascinates me as a consumer, and themes that pique my interest makes it one of my favorite shows of all time.

The art style too. Gah!! I'm in love with the way that the characters' designs work, the way that the lighting is handled in different scenes, the painting look that the models take. It's such an amazing and most likely time-consuming animation style, but it turned into one of the most gorgeous-looking shows that I've ever seen.

And dude. dude. The. The the the. The soundtrack. The incredibly differing soundtrack that varies from song to song, depending on the mood that the show is trying to capture is OUGh. Snakes, Enemy? Such bops, would sprint to them anytime, 11/10.

Favorite scene?

*shaking uncontrollably* The fucking ending one. The last scene takes into account all of the factors that make Arcane such a special show as a whole, and it wraps 'em up in this nice little present for the show to end off on.

The way that Silco is killed like any other man, the way that betrayal bleeds into his eyes as he dies, acceptance in his words as Jinx cradles his head in her hands, apologizing profusely for what she's done.

The narrative parallel to the line "She's a loose canon" so much earlier in the show is a stab to the heart as you watch the light fade from his eyes.

The way that What Could Have Been plays hauntingly through the entire scene, the viewer's eyes dreading the way that it's about to end. And the way that the characters' expressions twist in different ways as the final missile blows into the council window, the way that Mel's figure is highlighted before it's hit.

There are many scenes that are incredible, but this one might be my up at one of my favorites of all time.

To get even more specific, the way that Caitlyn's slow motion sob turns into her mother's resigned face as she makes her vote--that part literally broke me.

I think that literally might be my favorite shot in the entire show.

Anyway, to summarize my incredibly long post of thoughts, Arcane is a cinematic masterpiece, and I wish I could go into more detail, but it's like 12am and my brain isn't really up to the task. Thank you so much for the ask, needless to say, I loved the show to bits <33

#tobi goes batshit over arcane #tobi talks too much #long post #asks #nameless traveler

[swamplatibule]

🙉 Hollister, 🌋 23, 💥 Iara, 🖍️ Maggie , 🕷️ Alastor , 💧 Wilson, ☄️ Rosalind. Content for some of the classic favs as well as information about some of the ones I'm less familiar with, that was my goal here. <:

WOOO HELL YEAH :DDD HELLO FRIEND

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

The best answer here is the most obvious one - hearing someone say she isn’t good enough. She’s been told that her whole life, and it never really stops stinging. She acts like it doesn’t bother her, or like she’s above it, but every time she hears it just cuts a little deeper, and her need to always impress people has a heavy affect on the way she acts, whether she knows it or not. Everything has to be a competition so she can win it and prove herself and maybe then someone will decide she’s worth caring about. Even when people do care about her, unconditionally, she’s still running that little imaginary countdown in the back of her mind until they get fed up and abandon her. My traumatized little scrunkly <3

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

23 is very easily angered, but she’s been trained not to let that show, so when things do irritate her, she’s forced to just bottle it up and smile her little Cheshire-cat smile through it. With the way it builds up, though, there’s always bound to be a point where it explodes, and when it does, she is an absolute nightmare to be around. 23 gets very violent when she’s angry, and while she usually winds up taking it out on some punching bag in the gym, that doesn’t do much to satisfy the bloodlust. It’s part of the reason why she loves being on the job so much - beating up a person is much more fun than a punching bag. Fun fact! When she’s just frustrated but not too angry, she paces a lot and does this weird little clawing motion with her hands, which if you look closely enough is just her strangling a little imaginary person.

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Adams is usually very good at dealing with their emotions, but there’s one that always gets the best of them no matter how hard they try. Guilt. And they have a lot they feel guilty for, a lot of lives they weren’t able to save. Adams feels personally responsible for the safety of every one of their agents and everyone they’re supposed to protect. Every life lost feels like a failure on their own part, even if they had nothing to do with them. They can push down almost any other emotion to wait for later, but every time guilt hits, it always gets to them.

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

Honestly, I almost wish she would give me some advice, but that’s irrelevant. Uhhhh. I think the best advice I could give her is that her self-sacrificial tendencies hurt the people around her more than help them. She faked her own death to keep Wilson safe, which affected him for the rest of his life. Plus, he got those tendencies from her, and we’ve seen how well that went. Her constant need to take the bullet for someone else more often than not winds up causing more pain than the original situation would have, and it screams “trauma” that her first instinct in a life-or-death scenario is to throw herself in front of someone rather than just. yknow. Using her shield, maybe??

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

HOHOHO my guy. Alastor’s worst fear is simply being forgotten. Everything he does is an attempt to make a mark on the world - he just doesn’t care whether than mark is good or bad. He cannot fathom the idea of his own existence being entirely unimportant in the grand scheme of things, and all his scheming shit and assholery can really be chalked up to him trying to claw his way into some kind of significance before he dies. A high-ranking member of the IBW, maybe someday it’s leader. One of the Society’s greatest enemies. The man who created his own human superweapon from nothing. He thinks he deserves to be remembered long after his death, and he has no problem being remembered for all the awful things he’s done, so long as he makes an impact. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t get that :)

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Wilson has awful night terrors. Horrifying. They’re mostly relived memories from his childhood or nightmares about losing people, but either way, they cause him an insane amount of stress, but he plays it off like it’s not a big deal. Like. Buddy don’t try to be slick with me I know you’ve been avoiding going to sleep for days on end we can all see the bags under your eyes. Lying next to Fox helps most nights after they move in together, letting Wilson focus on that warmth rather than his intrusive thoughts and memories, and Fox is always there to comfort him on the occasions that the nightmares come back, but you know those few weeks where everyone thought Fox was dead? Haha! Those were not fun.

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

It’s Rosie time baybeeee~ When out in public, Rosalind likes to fake the whole “dumb blonde” thing. Then, people severely underestimate her, making it much easier to manipulate them, and by the time they figure out what she’s doing she’s already got a gun pointed at their head. She doesn’t get to do this much anymore - she was one of the DoA’s assassins before she took over as it’s leader, and she doesn’t get the chance to interact with outsiders too much - which is a shame, since she always found it very funny when people figured her out. She does still pull that trick every time she meets someone from outside, though. She’s probably the smartest person in the whole paracosm, and she knows it.

Ask game

#para: wilson #para: hollister #para: adams #para: alastor #para: agent 23 #para: mags #paracosm: the starwritten society #I am hugging you very aggressively right now sugar #I love talking about these guys #if you can’t tell I really like Rosalie actually #she’s the fun of Alastor but a girlboss and also not based on someone who manipulated me #ty for the ask <3 #para: rosalind

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Silver Platters (Les Gold)

Visceral emotions/Testing your devotion/My how it can change when you stop going through the motions

"I swear every line hits me with a ton of bricks. Like I cannot fathom the impact of the whole song right now but as for some examples: 'Thinking about god and all the dreams you didn't follow' just makes me think about the complexity that not only my blorbos, but I myself have with religion and how I feel people have missed out on dreams simply because we were trying to get by instead of really truly living. 'Now you're dressing formal, I've seen this before, as you try to mitigate your fear of being normal' THE IDEA THAT WE ARE AFRAID TO BE NORMAL AND THE FACT THAT IT IS TRUE FR!!!! We dress up in order to feel better about ourselves and to feel just a little more special than we usually do and I just scream because it holds a candle to a truth I don't like to admit (and neither does my OC and some of my blorbos). 'Sleeping on a bed of thorns, yet still you call them roses' Lyrical genius. Oh how we suffer through painful situations, because we convince ourselves that they're good for us or even worse convince ourselves that we actually enjoy them ToT. 'My how it can change when you stop going through the motions' I'm tired of analyzing, but I wanted to point out this line too which I think speaks for itself!"

Weird Goodbyes (The National)

It finally hits me, a mile's drive/The sky is leaking, my windshield's crying/I'm feeling sacred, my soul is stripped/Radio's painful, the words are clipped/The grief it gets me, the weird goodbyes/My car is creeping, I think it's dying/I'm pulling over, until it heals/I'm on a shoulder, of lemon fields

"One minute you're remembering a detail about the past in a detached way, like isn't it strange how my brain held onto that image or moment when so much has changed since then and so many of those people have left my life? and then next minute you're pulling over to sob about everyone and everything you've ever loved and mourned on the side of the highway while the sun hits every individual raindrop and oil puddle like a prism and being alive is the most miraculous and also the most painful thing possible and you know this is going to be a part of you forever"

#fuck you up bracket #tournament #polls #les gold #the national

[oakfathers-embrace]

"Forgive me for the intrusion, Halsin," Tahl'a said softly as she sat down beside the druid, where he rested on the bank of a stream. "I was hoping to ask you a question. You are the wisest man I have ever met and I rather think I may need some wisdom,"

The orc stuck her bare feet into the water and hissed as the snow-melt bit at her skin. "First: how are you healing? Your injury is not troubling you I hope? And secondly, an apology: You would not have been so injured had I not picked that fight. I have never struggled with my temper so much, before. Of course, I've spent these last six years in isolation—it is difficult to be angry at people when there are no people around you. But before that, I was a soldier. I was calm and levelheaded—or... I like to think I was. I thought we were meant to mellow out in our old age and yet, here I am, nearly forty and as angry and petulant as a teenager. Bah," she picked up a pebble and threw it into the stream.

"You have suffered a great many things, things I cannot even fathom. And yet, you remain calm. You have achieved a mastery over your emotions. How?"

@tahla-of-the-tempest

Halsin turns to look at the woman, smiling softly at her concern. "Ah, no need to worry yourself, my friend. I've a great many years behind me, it will take more than that to put me out of commission." He says, nodding as he listens intently to Tah'la.

"I suspect the source of your rage may be due to the orcish side of you. We have been facing plenty of battles recently, a fair amount have been ones that I suspect the average person wouldn't survive, even with adequate training." He starts, trying to find the right words.

"Orcs are well known for their rage in battle, some say that's what keeps them from death- that they're just so angry at the opponent that it gives them further drive to live. Perhaps the events of the last while have simply...reawoken, those latent instincts." He says, watching the pebble skip across the stream.

"Truthfully, I do not have much control over my emotions. To do so would be to deny one of the things that make living so enjoyable. It is how you use those emotions that you can control. For years I have had a festering rage within me, the shadow-curse weighed heavy on my heart, and I was angry with both Thorm, and with myself for failing to do anything." He pauses, taking a steadying breath- its clear that it bothers him, even now.

"But I found a use for that anger. I threw myself into my study, used it to fuel me as I researched, and then I used it within the shadowlands to finally defeat the source." He says, wincing once he realises his words.

"Obviously being so consumed with something is a detriment but...what I'm saying is, if you cannot control the anger, then use it for something good. Put that ferocity and rage towards doing something which helps people, call upon it in your time of need."

#tav: how are you so calm? Halsin: Oh I've been silently fuming for over a century. i just find better things to do with that anger.

[dilutedapplejuice]

Tw: descriptions of depression and suicidality, and mild ableism

Autism and trying to fit in

*this is my own personal experience- no two autistic people are alike*

So. I’ve always been a little isolated. From my peers and other people in general. I was called weird or just not included for whatever reason- because I wanted to play with the BOYS as a girl*, or I was a tomboy*, or it’s a bit strange how I spend all day reading warrior cats or watching anime.

At a young age I claimed the label of weird for myself. I look back at that formative period of my life and wonder if I had met people who loved me in the right way then. If maybe my own validation would not be inexplicably and inextricably connected to being an other now, if it had been different.

I never totally related to real people. It’s mostly fictional animated characters. I learned how to interact with the world through anime, then through therapy in a controlled setting, then on tumblr. I have never met anyone with the same views as me (though people have gotten close I suppose) on queerness and physical/mental disability (or race, although I don’t have much to add as a white person with literally only white friends)

Maybe my bar is too high. There’s no such thing as a soulmate. Maybe our society is just so much different from me that I can only find similar people in niche online spaces. Maybe it’s my own fault for needing so much time to myself.

It’s because I’m autistic. That much is very clear to me. I could never fathom all the ways in which I am different. It’s like trying to conceive another dimension, a 6th sense. I am simply different: Im straightforward and can’t understand why people lie or say anything mean on purpose (at least on an intuitive level, or in any applicable way).

I am absolutely abysmal at understanding nuance in relationships. You are either good or bad. It applies to me as well; it’s part of why I have anxiety and self isolate haha.

I am constantly lost in my own head and other people have to fit into MY schedule. I’ve tried workarounds but I cannot turn on my people mode just like that.

I’ve made neurodivergent and queer friends who think like me. It helps that they don’t expect as much, but I still don’t know anyone like me- a genderqueer aroace atheist nihilist who cares way too much but just can’t feel it anymore. We’re more rare than you think, lol.

I think I spend too much time online and in my own head. I think I’ve given myself depression. I don’t know why I’m so happy to be mentally ill in this way; maybe it makes everything I went through real again.

But all of my meaning comes from what I interact with online. Maybe I’m stuck, and my own mental health issues don’t want me to get better; I want to wallow for once. Maybe it’s telling me to slow down and breathe so I can make effective change, instead of wishing I was dead so I didn’t have to live in this reality. I’m tired and I haven’t even done anything yet.

I know it’s not too late to change myself. I’m 18 for crying out loud. I want to make a plan and follow it. I want to do it in a way that feels okay and like progress. I’m working to find that I suppose.

I’ve never really tried to fit in, or felt an emotional need to be liked. But I’ve still suffered from the pressure to do so. It’s hard to explain.

*my gender is much more complicated and hard to explain than “girl” or “tomboy”

#autism rambles #forreal #depression #suicidality #yeah I don’t know the depression is pretty recent #maybe I need to spend more time like this #I don’t have to learn everything at once #maybe I do need to slow down #yeah maybe that’s the start of the plan #get offline more and become more involved in my life #okay. goals: #talk to friends more about my own interests #and stim more #and volunteer more! #boom #let’s try that lol #idek lol