#good excuse for more ot3s

[lunar-years]

Okay. Let's talk Jamie and Roy getting beers and being idiots.

I know we are all still processing that whirlwind of a finale. I'm understanding that a lot of people hate the Roy & Jamie scene because it is 1) backslide-y (true) 2) they treat Keeley like a prize to be won (true) and 3) it's OOC (I actually disagree with this one, but I can understand why it's complicated). I want to start off by saying I completely see where this opinion is coming from and I respect everyone who just hates the scene because it shows normally kind characters being very unkind to each other etc. This is less me arguing against that as it is me trying to articulate (at great length, sorry) why it not only worked for me, but I genuinely liked it.

I like to think I strike a balance between loving everything the show has done and hating overwhelmingly on a show I claim to enjoy, but sure, you could definitely argue that I'm just giving my favorite characters the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them, because they're my favorite characters. I'll admit I'm historically very forgiving of all the main characters' many fuck-ups on Ted Lasso, but that's because I think the show works best when it emphasizes how kindness, forgiveness, friendship and love can still operate between imperfect, flawed people. I like seeing them make realistic mistakes much more than I like everyone handling everything perfectly, I'll bite.

So, back to Jamie and Roy. I enjoyed their finale plot because despite them making a world of mistakes, the regression felt very, very human. I don't agree at all with the take that this somehow erased all the progress they've made this season or the friendship the show has lovingly crafted between them. In fact, I think this actively reiterated it! (Note: I am operating with my ot3 goggles on at all times, so I'm going to write this with that at least partially in mind, but I think the gist of it works even if you ignore the bits that get a little shippy.)

For both Jamie and Roy, Keeley and their love for her is a major beacon guiding them. I think that is the crisp, clear thing in both of their heads this episode: Keeley is the love of my life. And they both believe that wholeheartedly, and they both want to be with her. (and it's goofy to pretend this came out of nowhere for Jamie/since when is Jamie still in love with her/etc. because he literally told her and us this last season and nothing that has happened since has indicated otherwise, btw.) But there's also something else now, which is their relationship with each other, battling with their Keeley thoughts. It's like, in Roy's head, for instance, I imagine there are two wolves: on the one hand he loves Keeley, and wants to be with her, and plans to win back her heart. On the other hand, there's his love and care for Jamie Tartt, which is much less defined and inarticulate and maybe still a little repressed, but just as overpowering. His love for Keeley feels so simple and clear in comparison, while his love for Jamie is something complicated and unsure, and in this episode, he's leaning hard into the first to avoid unpacking the second.

So Roy starts off strong. He sees Jamie with Keeley in the hallway and he doesn't flip out!! Instead, he approaches Jamie calmly, and invites him out for beers. Think about how different this is from his reaction to Jamie's love confession to Keeley in season 2. This is Roy's growth in action, and it's a resounding sign of just how important Jamie is to Roy now. Even when he is feeling jealous of the woman he loves potentially leaving him behind for a man he loves (a completely natural reaction, let's be so real, if not a "good" one), he also knows that for as much as he wants to be with Keeley, he doesn't want to lose his friendship with Jamie.

As for Jamie, I know some people took his reaction and subsequent response to Nate's question as like, shock at the realization that he and Roy are actually friends now, which I agree is something that had to have come earlier in the timeline (what was Mom City if not that) and would seem very out of place at this point. What I saw it as instead was Jamie's brain more just. sort of short-circuiting? Because: holy shit isn't this the best day ever? First Keeley agreed to go to Brazil with me and now Roy is asking me on a date for beers? this is so sound. This invite is out of place behavior from Roy even within the parameters of their friendship, because they still have a match to win and Roy has banned Jamie from beers as part of his training and despite them being close now I find it hard to believe that Roy often comes up to him right there in dressing room to ask him to grab a beer with no pretense.

Therefore, they're already walking into that bar in completely different head-spaces. Jamie isn't planning to discuss Keeley, and for Roy that is his major intention behind the evening. Jamie is nervous and downing his beer, and Roy is internally panicking, I'm imagining, over when and how to bring Keeley up. I think Roy is thinking: Well, I don't intend to stop pursuing Keeley, I genuinely don't want Jamie's feelings to be hurt when I get back together with her (and yes, it is a huge presumption for him to assume Keeley's going to eventually take him back. But I think it's also an understandable one), so I've got to tell Jamie I care about him, and that I'm going to keep going after Keeley, and he needs to be okay with that so that this won't get in the way of our friendship, which I also desperately need and am unwilling to give up. In his mind, Jamie is of course going to accept all of this, because Roy and Keeley are soulmates, which Jamie will clearly recognize deep down because it is so obvious and right and anyway, Jamie always does what Roy tells him to do (again, this is all misguided thinking. But we can see how Roy's anxious little brain that's bad at processing feelings and holding space for emotions could get himself here, can't we?).

So again, we start off strong with Roy saying he's proud of Jamie and them both thanking one another. But then Roy's blurting out nonsense about how Jamie just needs to pull himself out of the running and just let Roy be with Keeley. Which is obviously not on. And Jamie responds, simply, with No. I'd argue this is also a huge step for Jamie. Jamie really doesn't tell Roy no anymore, he doesn't tell anyone no. Jamie has spent so much of his time since coming back to Richmond working to be the person everyone around him wants and expects him to be. This is him fighting for something he wants for once, doing what is best for him. It was a fabulous progression to see. In the moment, boy does it work Roy up, because why is Jamie not agreeing with me, Jamie always agrees with me? but obviously at this point, Jamie is in the right. His relationship with Keeley was no less meaningful than Roy's just because Roy says it was, Roy doesn't have any claim on her, and there's no real reason Jamie should not try and shoot his shot with Keeley if Roy is going to do the same.

Here's where things start to spiral. Established flaws we know about Roy: he's competitive. He's bad at voicing his feelings productively. And he is territorial about the people he loves, a category that safely includes both Jamie and Keeley at this point in time, for better and sometimes worse. Yes, his next actions are grossly possessive over Keeley, yes Roy has made a lot of effort over the past year to do and be better than that, to break free of that cycle. But look, it's not a linear process. He's going to still mess up, and he does here. In fact he's downright mean, weaponizing Keeley against Jamie and throwing having sex with Keeley a month ago into Jamie's face, bragging about it, boasting. Same old cycle, same old patterns of ego-driven, prideful mistakes.

Which promptly prompts Jamie to also fuck up by bringing up the leak. It's a concentrated response intended to get a suitable rise out of Roy, because Roy has really, genuinely hurt him here, and Jamie knows bringing up that video is the one thing that will hurt Roy just as much in turn. It's not the right thing to do, obviously, but again, it's such a human thing to do. Hurt the person who's hurt you right back, even if you're hurting someone else (Keeley) by extension. Mind you, Jamie came here expecting a hangout (/date) with Roy over a rare beer, and instead he got Roy being a complete asshole and lecturing nonsense at him out of seemingly nowhere. He reacts to this change-up, well, not greatly. There is something so messy and emotionally complicated happening here and it hinges on how very much Jamie and Roy care about each other, not negates it.

Keeley, queen that she is, rejects them both out of hand and kicks them out not the curb immediately because they're both being complete idiots, acting like they're so gracious in giving her the honor and privilege of choosing between them. Not to mention they've clearly got something going on between them they haven't worked through and that sure as shit isn't her problem, is it? Keeley (presumably, and I wish we had seen this) calls them out their shit and tosses them right back out the door.

Which leaves Jamie and Roy to lament how they've let their egos get away from them, they've been idiots (which they acknowledge immediately) and decide that now they should go for kebabs, presumably to actually hangout this time, not to interrupt themselves with inflated talk about who "deserves" Keeley more. They both screwed up, they acknowledge it, and all they can do is try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, go on that kebab date.

I guess....I can just see where both of them are coming from? it's not mature behavior, obviously, it's maybe not what we would have liked to have seen from them in the finale episode of the show. But it was regression that I didn't feel impeded their overall progress. Roy in particular was being a complete dick about it, but that's why the very next morning he's finally knocking on the Diamond Dogs' door. And honestly, that conversation was heartbreaking. When Roy admitted he'd expected, after a year of putting in the work, to be a whole new person...god. This is a man who still completely hates himself, to the point where he can't quite grasp that he can be better where he's at now, that he doesn't have to transform magically into someone new in order to do right by himself and others. And so he has to consciously determine, once again, to do better, be better.

The message is: change isn't linear, you're going to fuck-up, and fall back into old patterns. What matters is trying every day to do better together, and be better for one another, than you were the day before. That is the meeting point all three sides of the royjamiekeeley triangle were heading towards by the end of the episode.

So yes, it was rushed, because no one gets much screen time in a finale (and the overarching issue with this season anyway is god awful pacing. The last three episodes could've easily been the second half of the season, while the first half of the season was stretched out and largely extraneous). And yes, I would've liked a more thoughtful follow-up conversation between Roy and Keeley or all three of them. My biggest issue was that we didn't get to hear Keeley's voice hardly at all. I would at the very least have liked to have seen her setting them straight at her kitchen table, because turning both of them down signifies very important growth in her, too, and I would've liked exploring that more explicitly. So it wasn't perfect. But I still liked it, I really did.

#ted lasso #ted lasso meta #ted lasso spoilers #roy kent #jamie tartt #royjamie #royjamiekeeley

[taraljc]

More on why my OT3 is my OT3.

First of all it's very important to remember that the Loki we are watching on TV is from 2012. I know we know that with our heads but it's important to also know that with our hearts.

This is the Loki who desperately wanted to prove that he was worthy, and was in fact right that Thor was not ready because he was too immature and he was too hasty and he was too much driven by childish love of combat and violence for the sake of combat and violence to be a good king.

He also finds out in the worst way possible that not only is he adopted, he is a completely different species, was being kept most likely as a hostage, and it recontextualized his entire relationship with his parents in a single moment.

He is the butt of jokes from Thor and his friends, his skill set is not valued because it's not based in martial prowess, and the only person in his life who has ever loved him unconditionally was Frigga.

This is in no way excusing Loki's actions, mind you. He didn't care how many Asgardians died when he let Frost Giants into Asgard to disrupt Thor's coronation. He didn't care who he killed in Jötunheimr because they were Frost Giants and he had been raised to believe that it was completely justified to slaughter his enemies. And when pushed to his limits, when it became clear that gaslighting Thor to keep him on Midgard and from returning to Asgard was futile, Loki knowingly sent the Destroyer to stop his brother and their friends, Knowing that 'stop' might mean 'kill'.

But once you remove Loki and isolate him from Thor, Asgard, an audience to play to, or perceived underlings to manipulate, he is adrift. After viewing the brief, brief remainder of what would have been his life (and bear in mind, he was born in 965 CE) including the tragedy of his mother's death and the unexpected warmth of his father's love and his brother's regard, he experiences complete ego death.

And this is like seriously 1 hour into the show.

Mobius treats Loki as a person. He respects his skills, he's wise to his bullshit and calls him on it, and for all intents and purposes is the first real friend who likes Loki just as he is rather than for who he could be or should be.

The gentlemen's wager over research is possibly the first time Loki has been valued for his research abilities and his intellect. Mobius is the first person since Frigga to tell him that he can be anything he wants to be, including a good person. and that it's never too late to change.

There are a thousand moments Mobius could have chosen to trap Loki in in his time cell. But he chose the confrontation with Sif after Loki had cut her hair. It's a brief moment in a thousand year lifespan, but it clearly made a deep, deep impression on Loki because Sif said the quiet part out loud.

"I hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be."

Loki hears this over and over and over again, cycling through pretty much every emotion until there's nothing left but honesty. and so we see a rare moment of Loki expressing regret for his previous actions to someone whom he hurt. Even though it's not really Sif, that does not make his admission any less genuine.

"I'm a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it'd be funny. And it's not. I crave attention because I'm a narcissist. And I suppose it's [...] because I'm scared of being alone."

And then of course after completely baring his soul, confessing his weakness, admitting to shame and fear, Sif looks down at him and repeats his greatest fear.

"You are alone and you always will be."

Sylvie has lived with the reality of being completely and totally alone since she was 8 years old. While we have no idea how long she was actually on the run from the TVA, she is clearly older than Loki, and every other variant in the void. She was the first, and he was the last. and what connection they made on Lamentis was just the simple realisation that they're not alone. Even if it's only for a few moments before they are completely obliterated, they are happy and at peace because despite their fears and what others have said in anger and pity, so long as they have each other, they are not alone.

So long as they choose one another, they prove that neither deserve to be alone.

The reason Sylvie is different from all of the other Loki variants was because she was not shaped by the toxic sibling rivalry that poisoned Loki and prompted him to take extreme actions to try and prove to Odin that he was worthy.

She didn't grow up teased and bullied for being different from her peers. Instead, she grew up fighting every single day to survive. For over a thousand years, she experienced life in brief snatches in the hours or days before the destruction of everything and everyone around her.

She and Loki could not be more different, despite being variants of the same people. and yet Loki looks at her and sees someone he wants to selflessly protect, regardless of the cost to himself. It is completely foreign territory, and outside anything he has ever experienced and he is probably completely and totally terrified.

But I genuinely believe that it is because of his friendship with Mobius that he is willing and able to put aside his own agenda completely to care for someone else.

Mobius and Sylvie are likely the only people in the universe capable of provoking that kind of loyalty and steadfastness from a trickster who was never meant to change, only to act as a catalyst for change in others. Because they look at him and see him. And there is so much power in being seen and being known.

Sylvie doesn't know who she is yet. and I think she finds Loki's faith in her is a little intimidating, even as she smuggly accepts it because she is clearly the superior Loki. She has always been alone, but this might be the first time she's truly lonely. So I am curious to see what her reaction to Loki arriving in Broxton in 1982 will be.

#loki #mobius #sylvie #ot3

[marzipanandminutiae]

Who's Rosemary? I wanna hear about that OC!

I mean, hey, give me half an excuse...

Rosemary is the youngest child of Beatrice Sharpe's youngest sister (Beatrice being, canonically, the oldest of Several). She's eight years old in 1902, and her parents and three older brothers died tragically a few weeks ago when an unknown party poisoned their soup. Rosemary, having been sent to bed without supper, was spared- something the old aunt who looked after her during the inquiry proclaimed an absolute miracle.

("First poor Beatrice's youngest, and now you. That's a nephew and a niece I've seen through foul murder. If ever a family were marked for tragedy...") (Poor Beatrice's eldest does not rate a mention.)

But she must have a more permanent home, with someone younger and stronger who can care for a child. How kind of her grown-up cousins to take her into their grand country-house sight unseen! They wrote, you see. She's just misplaced the letter.

Upon her arrival at the front steps of Allerdale Hall, after barely a moment's pause, her cousin Lucille thanks the constable for seeing her here safely and ushers her inside. She doesn't yet know that no child with tattered clothes and fading bruises would have been turned away, even without the letter from their mother to hers that she's clutching like a protective talisman.

The tall man, she guesses must be cousin Thomas. An explanation of the little blonde lady will have to wait, as she's bustled upstairs for a hot bath and something more substantial to wear. Little girls can recieve proper introductions- and explain the murder they absolutely committed, no doubt in any of the Sharpes' minds -once they're wrapped in a warm dressing-gown with a nice bracing cup of tea.

other tidbits about her include:

Rosemary was not her name Before. she chose it herself. her three parents do not know or want to know what her birth family called her, and they picked a middle name for her at her request (Diana)

she falls in love with clockwork and Making Things, becoming Thomas' extremely eager workshop assistant. all her parents, of course, lavish her somewhat haphazard creations with praise. or, you know, as close as Lucille comes to any emotive display that could be called "lavishing"

Lucille is actually the best at the practical realities of child-rearing, of the three adults. after all, she's the only one with experience- even if she was a child herself at the time

left alone with a child, Thomas would be the babysitter kids love and parents hate, who lets them stay up until midnight and eat ice cream for dinner because saying "no" is hard and they're just so cute! Edith is very Oh God How Parent? at first- she expected children, but in the nebulous Future, not right now -but realizing kids are just Small Inexperienced People helps considerably

would the Sharpes be good parents to a normal child, beyond the basic Keep Kid Alive practicalities? probably not. but Rosemary wouldn't get on too well with normal parents, either. so while things aren't perfect, it evens out

Rosemary Loves Dante (the dog, who is NOT dead). Dante Loves Rosemary. this is adorable. you agree.

tl;dr- Crimson Peak OT3 kidfic, ft. the Sharpe siblings' distant cousin who pulled a Merricat on her abusive family. I may never formally write her into a story, but I love to Rotate her (as my friends can attest)

#ask #anon #OC #fanfic #kidfic #child abuse mention #people definitely don't come to this fandom for that sort of content which makes me less likely to write her for real #but I love her so much #I love that she represents a chance for characters to be the saviors they needed as children but never had #I love her for herself- tiny nerd murderess slowly learning how to be A Child and feel safe and loved

[collegeoflore]

OC meme!

tagged by @aliasknives!! thank you love :3

tagging @menzoberranzans @elminsters @tadpole-apocalypse @undead-potatoes and anyone else who wants to do it :3c

B A S I C S

Full name: xarrai. just xarrai lol. they’ve never once used their last name and so that gave me an excuse to never make one up for them :)

Gender: sure. whatever. (transfem flavor)

Sexuality: bi/pan/who cares

Pronouns: any

O T H E R

Family: they don’t remember if they ever met their father or not, and while their mother and at least two half siblings live in neverwinter, they don’t speak at all

Birthplace: the outer city, somewhere between wyrm’s crossing and the basilisk gate

Job: bard, courtesan, information broker, pickpocket, con artist, professional drunkard, etc etc etc. post-game, they add adventurer and (reluctantly) bard college instructor. (jury is still out on if the xarrastarion harper ending is canon in which case they add harper to the list even more reluctantly LOL)

Phobias: loss of autonomy, The Church Of Bane As A Whole lol

Guilty pleasures: if you asked, xarrai would tell you they’re a true hedonist and would never feel guilty for any pleasure. but if you dig deep enough into the trunk they had stashed at the elfsong you will find a collection of some of the worst romance novels in faerun buried under fancy dresses and thigh high boots that they would VEHEMENTLY deny is theirs. they don’t Like these books but they are obsessed with them the way people hate watch reality television LMAO

Hobbies: reading, leather working, writing (mostly music or poetry), stick n poke tattoos, drunkenly making out with strangers at the blushing mermaid, petty theft. obvs they sing and play their lyre but that’s part of their day job so i’m not sure if it counts under hobbies? lmao

M O R A L S

Alignment: chaotic neutral, leaning a littleeee chaotic good by the end of act 3. a little.

Sins: most of them if we’re being fully honest. lmao

Virtues: self-control, vigilance, freedom (is that a virtue? whatever.)

T H I S O R T H A T

Introvert / Extrovert

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Cautious / Reckless / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist

Traditional / Modern / In between

Hard-working / Lazy

this section was such a challenge for xar they r very much an Everything All At Once guy lol. take these answers with a grain of salt ig

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: astarion, unfortunately for everyone involved

Acceptable Ships: gale (but it never really works out for them,) technically they romance halsin in game as well but it’s not really romantic. tbh u could make an argument for them with most of the companions and it wouldn’t be That outlandish

OT3: i mean like astarion/xarrai/halsin is vaguely canon but they’re never Serious with halsin, though perhaps they get a little more romantically involved with him post-game? realistically i think xar just keeps a rotating cast of other partners coming in and out of their life until the end of time and i rly dont see astarion ever having an issue with it. they would get bored without hearts to break tbh. its enrichment.

Brotp: karlachhhh forever and ever. after she dies, they’re probably closest with gale (sorry gale lol)

Notp: it’s not technically a notp but i am obsessed with how badly xarrai wants jaheira and how she turns them down every time. ur never gonna get that milf honey but u can keep trying

#pls feel free to ignore this if i tagged u and u don’t feel like doing it #and if u weren’t tagged and wanted to be… um yes u were #i try to tag ppl who have tagged me before bc i know not everyone Wants to do these kinds of posts but if u want me to add u to my lil list #lmk :3 #also sorry it took me like a whole week to do this after u tagged me LOL #oc. xarrai #漫言

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter 3 episode 1: oh god everybody's fucked up

I'm here, I fell asleep and missed the start but I'm here

lmao the immediate note-taking

ur really committing to that voice huh liam

marisha made an older character and liam said hold my dentures

STEAMPUNK JAZZY

heyyyy someone else makes the joke I picked up from a stargate episode 20 years ago

liam what was that look

absolutely love ashly's wig

sam looking like he got hit with a cattle prod

what's a sam reigel

why are we getting oscar's CV

"are they hot"

listen I saw the trailer he 100% uses that chain to beat people with

"no one calls you carey, oscar"

oh no he's hot

oh he's kotallo, that's why

the flat cap does look good on sam, I can't lie

y'all that's gay

I like cordelia's little halo

eloise best character

(maybe that's the look liam was giving ashly, eloise vs elsie)

elsie's a werewolf calling it

yesss the old people guilt trip

liam

oscar: I'm gonna punch a ghost

"you're wearing a ball gown. it's the morning."

the maw??

haha it took me until literally this moment to remember ashly is aloy, my ship is reunited

"I'm using my bullshit detector" did you get that cleared with the gm

I like the term "blood and guts doctor"

I've been watching S1G play Slay the Princess and the more they describe her the more she sounds like a Princess variant

oh no lights

liam you did that on purpose

oh Aadtika (?) is a very pretty name

"lung, heart" liver, nerves

"you have an extra house?" "you don't?"

rajan

"you slick son of a bitch"

he IS a slick son of a bitch

oh sam's being THAT character

prepared to spend three episodes threatening to punch oscar in the head and throw him in the pool

("nochi nobody read your free! livetweets" well maybe they should have)

sam doesn't watch the product

liam always wants to roleplay fish and chips

[picks elsie and raj up and shakes them until backstory falls out]

"I'll be as subtle as I can be" smash cut to him beating someone to death with a chain

the docks seems like a terrible place to play baseball

sam

did they do a dndbeyond for candela?

they did!

sam forgot he was short

"high stakes not for harm" but bc it's funny

rajan: oh I am NOT involved, you made that VERY clear

"don't waste that on me" "I agree"

I'm being gaslit bc I've always pronounced "copse" like "cope" with an "s" in it

shades of the old man at my previous psych office yelling about obama's secret weather machine

"I help by SCREAMING"

grandpa's making a wheel for it

[mabel pines voice] grappling hook!

the way sam rolls dice STILL kills me

oh good, everyone else also thinks they should fuck

"why can't we just be friends? oh right, because I don't like you."

what the fuck's a flashlight

"yeah! temperature play! :D" aabria

"do you go down my little hole" "of course!" aren't y'all divorced

oh no an ot3

don't say degloved that means something else

oh I dig that

werewolf!

lights!

were….thing!

oh no aabria's doing the voice

everything goes black, and you die

l…lights?

breathing?

how could crcw not have prepared me for this

immortal asshole oscar grimm

EXCUSE

oh he's an asshole because he gave up the non-asshole bits to bargain with death

hey sam what the fuck

oh hey ashly. ow.

thump thumps? why?

loud??

imagine if oscar coming back just freaked elsie right back into beast mode

there's another hour left of this wtf happens

yessssss "I'd take a bullet for him but I wouldn't go drinking with him" my beloved

local woman realizing that everyone around her is an absolute freak

liam's startled old man noise

"ohhh I'm not good at that"

ACTION GLASSES

wait I don't understand what he just did

oh he did a drug

little bird ;-;

his WHAT

chairsword!

it glows blue when there are nuns nearby

where's that one digital devil saga monster

I desperately need an artist's rendition of this orca-mantis-thing

excuse me

I keep missing the spelling of his sister's name

"oh god everybody's fucked up"

A WHAT built in his WHAT

augh eye stuff no quiero

is noshir lefthanded?

I kind of half-called that

"that felt like twenty. that was a season."

BEEKEEPER

"do you know you're covered in bees?"

I like my women like I like my coffee

"because yours is super chill"

liam you can uncommit to the voice

(he will not)

"drop the skincare routine"

#candela obscura #critical role #spoilers #liveblog #reaction post #candelatag #crititag

[rallamajoop]

Twist my arm, why don’t you? XD Well, I did tell you guys to ask!

What the hell, let’s open this one by sharing a few pics from a Sims household created by a good friend of mine, made up of Heisenberg (mad scientist), Mia (secret agent) and Ethan (just really wants to be a dad). The three of them immediately became the most delightful sims-land trainwreck imaginable.

Their neighbourhood is full of werewolves, because you can do that in the Sims. Ethan’s apparently made friends with some of them. But because this is Sims-land, when he and Mia tried to have a romantic dinner together, it ended with Ethan passed out on the kitchen floor while Mia set herself on fire, with Heisenberg running in in his underwear with some passing hippie, and being no help whatsoever. Aren’t Sims wonderful?

Beyond the land of the Sims, though… I mean, let’s be honest, my desire for mithanberg comes from how I ship both Ethan/Heisenberg and Ethan/Mia, and refuse to choose between them. I could see it working either as a proper OT3, or a poly arrangement where Ethan’s involved with both of them, but Mia and Heisenberg aren’t involved with each other (on which note, I also ship the hell out of Mia/Zoe, so Mia is not missing out here).

For the few really mithanberg-ish things I’ve ever posted so far, Follow Me Home is headed for the former category, whereas that other one is more likely headed for the latter. Going for the proper-OT3 option does come with the extra hurdle of trying to figure out how Mia/Heisenberg would work when they’ve never even met in canon, but I am fully up for the challenge.

But there’s way more to this ship for me than just the convenience of ‘why not both’. Seriously, wintersberg fic is missing out on so much by writing Mia off so quickly.

For one, Ethan’s somewhat-complicated relationship with Mia is the best evidence you could ask for that Ethan might actually be up for getting involved with someone as fucked up as Heisenberg (or even Chris, if you’re more into winterfield). Mia has canonically lied to Ethan, (accidentally) drawn him into mortal danger, and (while possessed) sliced off his hand with a chainsaw. Ethan’s still with her in RE8, so clearly he’s willing to forgive.

Fig 1: Apparently not a dealbreaker!

Heisenberg, meanwhile, opens their relationship by stabbing Ethan with a fucking spear-headed fencepost, chains him up, drags him off be put on trial, and ‘rescues’ him only by throwing him into a gauntlet of lycans and spike traps. He later sends Ethan through the second gauntlet that is the Stronghold, before finally trying to make a deal with him. When Ethan refuses, Heisenberg throws him to a chainsaw-propeller-faced monstrosity made of engine parts sewed onto a corpse.

Fig 2: Also not a dealbreaker?

I will make some excuses for Heisenberg, given that he’s been trapped in a repressive cult for decades and seems to have internalised a lot of bullshit about the strong destroying the weak, but holy shit is this guy red flag city (and I love it). And that’s not even touching on all the violent bullshit Chris pulls in this game. You may also note that neither Heisenberg or Chris have Mia’s convenient mind-control or replaced-by-a-shapeshifter excuse for their worst behaviour.

Ethan asks for none of the madness all these maniacs have injected into his life, but goddamn, does he learn to roll with it and come back swinging. Whether or not you assume Ethan ever found out the truth about Mia’s past, she offers us some solid proof that Ethan’s ‘type’ does not exclude covert special agents with a talent for violence, who’ve spent years working full-time for evil bioweapons manufacturers. Ethan may not be ready to admit to himself that he’s got a thing for dangerous people, and Mia may be a lot better at pretending to be normal than Heisenberg, but the fact Ethan’s still with her could say a lot.

Basically, if you wanna ship Ethan with either of these other guys, Mia Winters is the best ally you could ask for!

There are other problems with writing off Mia too quickly so you can ship Ethan with someone else, one being that it makes Ethan look like, well, kind of a psychopath. Fic after fic presents him as the kind of guy who can witness the mother of his child being brutally murdered in front of him, and within a matter of hours, he’s apparently realised he was never that happy with her anyway, so it’s just fine if he’s fucking some other dude. The fact the ‘Mia’ people are so quick to dismiss as an abusive bitch wasn’t even the real Mia apparently doesn’t necessitate any sort or reexamination. It’s basically a meme at this point.

Thing is, even if his relationship with the real Mia was unhealthy, you just aren’t going to make a guy like Ethan process that within hours of watching her fucking assassination. Try and make him face it, and you’ll push him straight into defensiveness. Even at the best of times, Ethan’s just not the kind of guy who could leave the mother of his child without a fuckload of heartache and a few rounds of ‘what does this say about me’ at the very least (and Mia loves Ethan far too much to leave him, except in a misguided attempt to protect him). Even if you're writing an AU where Mia really does die (rather than just suffering the usual round of character assassination), at least let that poor boy ANGST about it! C’mon, people – that’s the juicy stuff!

Of course, the real problem fans are grappling with here is that in the current fandom climate, the idea that Ethan would willingly hook up with a guy who stabbed him in the gut that morning is still somehow more palatable than having to consider that Ethan might be capable of being (gasp!) less than completely faithful to a partner who doesn’t deserve it. So it’s not enough that he thinks Mia’s dead, she’s also got to be a horrible person and a complete non-entity who can be forgotten as quickly as we’ve brought her up, just to get her out of the way – as if that somehow makes Ethan look better.

People are so eager to get rid of Mia that I have legit read multiple different fics where, even after being mysteriously reborn post-game via horrific mould-magic, somehow one of the very first things Ethan wants to talk about afterwards is divorcing his wife. Can we not even give the poor guy a single scene to have a proper existential crisis over not being human anymore before finding a woman to blame for all his problems?

Fig 3: Ethan's actual thoughts on his wife right before his death

On the greater subject of that whole inconvenient marriage poor Ethan's saddled with, I can only say ‒ again ‒ c’mon, people, that’s the juicy stuff! A good story needs conflict, and Ethan having had this weird hook-up with/confusing attraction to an incredibly creepy guy in the middle of an incredibly confusing day and while he thought his wife was dead, only to later discover that she’s alive? GOLD.

You don’t even necessarily have to wrap it all back around to a happy OT3 scenario. An Ethan who's struggling with Mia’s (actual) death, or even the realisation that he truly can’t deal with all her lies, all while telling himself Heisenberg’s just a rebound fling that doesn’t mean anything – that’s all the angst and pathos and opportunities for filthy smut you could ever ask for! Lean into it! Heck, the Duke tells Ethan outright that he can’t go back to his old life anymore – you could have Ethan decide his own status as a mould-creature makes him too dangerous to go back to Mia and Rose. More angst, more drama, more actual material for narrative conflict!

tl;dr: Write Mia off in a sentence, and not only have you made Ethan look like an asshole, you’ve made your story boring. And thus (thank you for bearing with me) ends my tangent about The State of Wintersberg Fandom, and why Mia deserves more love (from Ethan at least, even if the author can't completely bring themselves to join in).

Getting back to the real topic here: if you are up for letting your resolution involve an OT3 scenario, you’ve got some great options to play with.

Mia bossing the other two around is certainly an angle you could go for, but I think I’d prefer watching Mia and Heisenberg working together to drive Ethan out of his mind (not that options like these are ever mutually exclusive, mind!) But I’m broadly more interested in how you get these three together than what it would look like once they get there. In other words, it’s time to talk Mia and Heisenberg.

As I touched on above, these two do have more in common than it might look at a glance. They’ve both been infected by the mould, they’ve both spent years (or even decades) trapped in dysfunctional, cult-like, mould-controlled families, and had to bottle themselves up and hide behind a persona while working for truly terrible people. They’ve both done some truly terrible stuff themselves, probably watched even worse happen to other innocent people, and presumably internalised some pretty awful excuses for themselves along the way. They’re also both madly in love with Ethan (what, is anyone into wintersberg going to argue with me on that one?) In short, there is no lack of stuff for these two to bond over and find common ground.

I can’t see Mia being too hard to convince if Ethan does want to try an open relationship either. Heck, the first thing we ever see from Mia involves sending Ethan a message where she tries to let him go, because she doesn’t think she’s making it back alive. Her guilt throughout RE7 is palpable, and how much she loves Ethan is the same. I don’t think it’s any stretch to say Mia would be willing to contemplate almost anything if it would make Ethan happy (and frankly, she’s pulled enough shit herself in this relationship that she doesn’t get to get judgy anyhow).

That said, I do think she’d have reasonable concerns about Ethan’s new boyfriend being someone like Heisenberg, but then, he’s hardly any more dangerous than what Mia’s brought to the table herself. If anything, your bigger obstacle would be convincing Ethan that he’s sure enough about whatever’s going on with Heisenberg to admit it at all. But then, I don’t think getting Mia and Heisenberg involved with each other too would be too difficult either.

It doesn’t hurt that Mia has a lot of the same characteristics that probably draw Heisenberg to Ethan: a badass survivor, tough and determined enough to be a little sassy even in the face of danger, but still very vulnerably human underneath. That vulnerable side of Mia is a very important part of her to me – it’s the main aspect in play in the longest thing I’ve (yet) posted with any Mia/Heisenberg interaction, where she’s locked up in Miranda’s lab, and has no good reason to trust him. There’s nothing openly shippy going on in that story, though Heisenberg makes no bones about what he wants with her husband. I’m not sure exactly where things are headed in that universe, but you know there’s drama coming on in that front.

The main point there is that Mia’s not too badass to be intimated by Heisenberg, especially when she’s got her back up against the wall. Take them out of the village, though, and I can see Mia being a much tougher nut to crack.

Which is mostly my way of leading into mentioning that the longest thing I’ve written between them that I haven’t posted yet basically flips the previous scenario: instead of Heisenberg coming to tell Mia he’s after her husband, now it’s Mia coming to tell him she knows what he’s after, and he's about to receive some serious grilling about his intentions. What I realised in writing it was that somewhere in the middle of this conversation, Heisenberg goes from seeing Mia as an obstacle between him and Ethan to seeing her as a potential bonus. He’s impressed with her gall and starting to look at her in a whole new light. This is one ficbit that's definitely going places ‒ only problem being the usual one: I’ve still got to write the rest of the damn fic to get to that scene. (I’m working on it! But you know how it goes.)

That isn’t the only way I can see you getting the three of them together, of course. One interesting alternate possibility might be to suggest that Mia and Heisenberg have met before. Mia seems to have met Miranda (they’ve been photographed together, at least), and it’s not completely beyond the realms of possibility that Miranda might have brought along an ‘assistant’ (slash-bodyguard-slash-whatever else she thinks he’s useful for). And if she’s going to bring any of her ‘children’, Heisenberg is by far the best qualified to pass as normal, hilarious as that should be.

I don’t imagine either Heisenberg of Mia would be eager to admit any of their personal reservations about their respective ‘bosses’ to each other, meeting under circumstances like that. But the possibilities are intriguing nonetheless.

For complete AU territory, however, I don’t think you could find a better start point for an Ethan/Mia/Heisenberg scenario than to introduce Heisenberg as Mia’s ex. He’d be back in her life for Reasons, and Ethan would naturally be more than a little threatened by this huge, hot guy with history with his wife, little realising that Heisenberg’s as interested in Ethan as he is in rekindling anything with her.

Or for doing the whole thing on easy-mode, suppose Mia and Ethan have always been in an open relationship from the start – or that they’ve already had that conversation because Mia’s also in love with Zoe (I meant it when I said I ship them too!) Doesn’t mean there’s no angst or drama potential for Ethan getting involved with Heisenberg: he’s still going to be questioning what’s wrong with him that this guy is turning his crank, or whether it’s remotely appropriate for him to be seeing someone new while he’s got a six-month-old daughter at home. But if nothing else, I can promise you that having a third person around to babysit while Ethan’s ‘busy’ could only do good things for his sex life at this point. ;D

So, yeah – those would be My Thoughts On Mithanberg in a nutshell (or possibly more of a nut bowl, I can never resist the urge turn out a full essay on this stuff). If you’ve got any interest in writing mithanberg yourself, please do consider all these ideas free to a good home! Treating Mia better makes Ethan/Heisenberg better for me, and all those possibilities are right there to explore.

But to finish, have some more random Sims!

There are many more of these if anyone wants to see them, though most are less G-rated ‒ the friend running this household has installed ALL of the porn mods to enhance this little trainwreck.

(Also, before I'm done, just throwing a quick tag at @macgyvertape, since I had to screenshot their ask rather than reply 'officially' so I could reply to the both of them at once.)

#mithanberg #wintersberg #mithan #Ethan Winters #Karl Heisenberg #Mia Winters #Resident Evil Village #asks #meta #LetThatBoyAngst! #Mia Winters week

[steph-is-asleep]

What Your Favorite Sollux Ship Says About You

I swear ive been working so hard on Space Solkat, but ive had this idea in my head for well over a year and just decided i might as well make a post about it

This is all in good fun and jokes, but if you dont want your fav ship being critisized pls dont read this, just click off lmao

AraSol: You’ve been in the fandom for a very long time and/or you love relationships that just seamlessly work together, ships that Make Sense and are right there with no subtext and you love both of these characters and want them to be happy. This is a very classic ship and they are literally perfect for each other whether you read it pale or flushed

SolTav: You love nerdy boys, you love ships with characters that have similar interests but near opposite personalities, and you also love crack shipping

Solkat: This is no hate to arasol truthers, but if you prefer mlm ships, this is the sollux ship that makes the most sense/is the best. it has the most feel good potential. You understand/love both the characters very well, but you also love the spice that their dynamic brings

SolNep: You like opposites attract and you also like ships that have a gimmick. She lays on his keyboard and chews his wires, and also brightens his day and cracks at his grumpy boy exterior. Maybe you like Nepkat but don’t like the canon baggage where he’s mean to her

SolKan: There’s a very high likelihood that you ship them pale (correct) and like ships that have really good banter potential. You also want Sollux to dress up fancy but need an logical excuse for it. If you don’t ship them pale, youre a lesbophobe

SolRezi: Very similar to solkan, you likely ship them pale and you likely love their chemistry with each other, the wit they both have bounces off each other seamlessly and they are excellent at creating bits with each other that go too far. The big difference here is that you like when shit goes CRAZY

SolVris: You’re either a contrarian/crack shipper just for the sake of, you like fixer-upper relationships with angst, or youre a lesbophobe

Solquius: You’ve been in this fandom for a long time, you really really like pitch ships. or youre an equius apologist, or all three. Either way, you love looking into things that are supposed to not be taken seriously and reading too deeply

SolGam: You like opposites attract, and you prefer mlm ships, you could not get more opposite than with this two, and you think it would be really funny if they loved each other actually

Erisol: You’re a veteran homestuck, you used to/still like yaoi or youre an eridan apologist (I say this as all three)

SolFef: You love the ships that the canon gives you, you love sunshine girl and grumpy boy pairings, and im willing to bet that either youre straight, or you think one of them is straight (wrong)

JuneSol: You love crack shipping, but also you love over-analzying canon text

DaveSol: You really really like dave and want him to date a version of himself from the mirror dimension, and im also willing to bet that you only really ship this to make an OT3 with karkat work

RoseSol: I’m willing to bet this is pale again, and im gonna be real, this is davesol but better, yall are sleeping on this ship

JadeSol: You love ships with potential, and also really really want the hc that Sollux likes girls with long hair to be true/believe wholeheartedly that it is true

SolRox: You love ships with gimmicks, they are tech buddies! (I do not know the first thing about roxy ill be honest)

DIrkSol: You like dirk, and don’t really like the other ships he’s in, Sollux skates by because, of the people to ship dirk with, Sollux is probably the meanest and wittiest in that roster. No one would fight with Dirk the way Sollux would, wake up

If you ship JaneSol or JakeSol, you like crackshipping, or you read really really deep into the dialogue jake has with erisolsprite

#homestuck #sollux captor #headcanons

[sam-glade]

Happy STS! :D What are the dynamics like between your main cast of characters?

Happy ST...M, Cilly💜

Ok. I was meaning to delve into it for a while, so thank you for the excuse. There are a couple more characters popping up in later books, but the main recurring cast looks something like this:

Description with additional details below the cut:

In the middle we have the main trio: Ianim, Gullin, Lissan. I labelled it as 'OT3 QPR', although their relationship evolves the most throughout the trilogy. Ianim and Gullin start of as close friends and exes through circumstances (difference in rank making a romantic/sexual relationship forbidden, and Ianim being too anxious to want the risk). Lissan meets them at the beginning of Gifts of Fate, and the three of them become very close friends, though I haven't yet decided where they end up, other than still inseparable. Currently thinking that Lissan and Gullin romantically court Ianim, while their own relationship is more like friends with benefits?

Marta is Lissan's younger sister, and they are on very good terms. Lineas is their father. Their mother isn't in the picture (divorced, left them some 14 years ago).

Anthea is Ianim's older sister, and their relationship is very strained. She's the source of most of his anxieties and unintentionally makes him feel not good enough, while in truth is trying to give him space and as much freedom as their roles allow. She's the First Prince, he's the Prince Successor. The White Dragon is their grandfather, and Ianim's primary parental figure. He's also the legendary prince and the oldest person alive in the setting (about... oh, 3 millennia old?).

Anthea and Erya are coworkers (the Chief Strategist and the Army's spymaster respectively), and meet weekly for a game of chess. Their relationship is explored in The Prince's Shadow.

Varré... Their role is a bit more complicated. Their vocation is to find street urchins Gifted by Fate and give them means of improving their lives. They found Erya over a century earlier and pretty much... housetrained the feisty little ferret. Now she's such an integral member of their family that she calls their mother 'Ma'. Gullin was found less than half a century ago, and thanks to their mentorship became known as the resident prodigy, the youngest Brigadier in history. That makes Gullin and Erya sort of... distant relatives in this (quite literally) found family?

Erya is the Captain General of Intelligence and Internal Security Corps, Varré her second, Gullin and Catnip Brigadiers serving under their command.

Gullin, Catnip, Artio, and Nikols are a bunch of drinking buddies who meet almost daily for a drink in a pub in the evening.

One thing that didn't fit on the graph was how far back Nikols, Ianim, and Gullin go. Ianim and Gullin shared a room at the military academy as cadets, while Nikols was an officer cadet. There's a tradition that an officer cadet takes care of a fresher, to show them around and offer them advice when they may not want to go to their instructors or administrative staff. The officer cadet in this role is referred to as 'stork'. Nikols was Ianim's stork, so of course he dragged the Princeling to a pub repeatedly, until Ianim loosened up. Gullin's stork wasn't very outgoing, so he tagged along with them.

Characters not listed on the picture include Mikkel and Claren, two brothers who are tutors and honour guards of Anthea and Ianim, respectively, and Renna of the Sixth Tree, who's a thorn in the First Prince's side.

I'm going to add Days of Dusk taglist, in hopes that this will clarify some of the vignettes I posted (please message me to +/-): @acertainmoshke @another-white-void @cee-grice @cljordan-imperium @elshells @goldxdarknesss @poetinprose @sparrow-orion-writes @tisiphonewolfe

#days of dusk #writeblr #ask and i shall answer #sts #oof

[muirmarie]

I started to do the thing I like to do where I write a couple rough sketches of a story I want to find the shape of but not actually write? And then it got too long????

Anyway the gist of it was (tw: consent issues/dub-cob) st:tos triumvirate (kirk/bones/spock)

due to a translation error and some ~scientific~ magic powers, bones gets a literal magical healing cock, simply because I cannot imagine a man less disposed to sexing up his friends on a whim, but who would probably fuck his ENEMY if it saved their life?? kirk purposefully hamming it up/leering to make bones feel more normal, uhura kissing his cheek afterwards and seriously asking him if she can brag about how good he is, scotty absolutely not asking for permission to brag and fully regaling the engineering dept with "doctor's hands are clever things" nonsense, chekov gets a puppy crush and decides bones must be part russian because only a russian could kiss like that, sulu treats it like the medicine it's intended as and takes it upon himself to bodily drag chekov away from the good doc until he gets over himself -

and of course: spock. spock, obviously fatally injured, and the inevitable dub-con inherent in that on BOTH their sides (and on kirk's because kirk is there in the moments before it happens, because he, too, is worried like bones is that spock'll refuse, but he, unlike bones, is not willing to accept that answer, so he forcefully talks them into it, even tho both feel like they're forcing the other - )

and then spock, hunting bones down in the aftermath to apologize, as if he's a burden, as if bones was somehow unwilling to do that and more, as if -

"I am well aware of your propensity to lay all blame at your own feet, doctor, but the idea of you blaming yourself for saving my life, at personal cost to you, is -"

"You cannot be that stupid, Spock, that you think I wouldn't do anything to - "

"Your martyr complex is hardly a secret, doctor. Rest assured that I know what lengths you'll go to save others-"

"To save /you/, Spock. As aggravating as you are, there's nothing I wouldn't do to save /you/, you green-blooded hobgoblin!"

Even the short version of this got too long lmao, anyway unestablished ot3 when kirk walks in like, "oh are we talking about the fact I forced you two to have sex to save spock's life?" and both of these known kirk apologists IMMEDIATELY have to defend him, like, excuse me, we are adults, we make our own choices, it was hardly a hardship, and kirk jumps in with both feet like NOT A HARDSHIP, HUH? BECAUSE IT WASN'T A HARDSHIP TO WATCH, EITHER, ALTHO NEXT TIME YOU TWO WANNA TANGO MAYBE DO IT WITH LESS DYING, SO I CAN ACTUALLY ENJOY IT, and anyway they all have sex, obviously, and the magical healing cock thing DOES fade, but the ship generally agrees that while they're very glad bones is better, and that all moral conundrums re: his healing powers are no longer on the table, it was kinda nice to have the long-running lore of bones being THEE best lover finally confirmed once and for all

Why do I have so much plot in my head for such a ridiculous idea. Why.

#star trek #st:tos #star trek the original series #leonard mccoy #james kirk #spock #triumvirate #writing ref

[glasshcvse]

i want to know more about the Glasshouse CEO, did Grace release any albums after the group disbanded? what are her thoughts on the other members hating her ass?

GRACE CHWE, or better known by just GRACE ( 그레이스 ), is a south korean-american soloist and the CEO of GLASSHOUSE INC. born in america, she first came into the music spotligh t in 2009 as the lead vocalist and maknae of the company's first-ever girl group, LILYPAD. after the group disbanded in 2014, GRACE was announced as the new CEO of GLASSHOUSE, by the founder of the company itself. despite focusing on the company's artists, GRACE would occasionally release an album every year or so. she was named THE CATWOMAN OF KOREA for her confident and sexy image after releasing her first solo album in 2016.

⸻⸻ ﹕ PLAY THE TRACKS ⠀ › ⠀ THE DISCOGRAPHY.

GRACE : WATCH ME › mini album ❪ 2016 ❫

BYE BYE : MIND YOUR BUSINESS › mini album ❪ 2017 ❫

SHADOW OF A LONELY WOMAN : CAMO › mini album ❪ 2018 ❫

WINGS OF AN ANGEL : BIRD › mini album ❪ 2019 ❫

GOOD TO BE : WOMAN › mini album ❪ 2020 ❫

WHO'S THERE? : KNOCK KNOCK › mini album ❪ 2021 ❫

WHO LIKES WHO? : EXCUSE THE B*TCH › mini album ❪ 2022 ❫

BRAND NEW : KILLIN' ME GOOD › mini album ❪ 2023 ❫

⸻⸻ ﹕ SUCH A TEASE ⠀ › ⠀ RUMORS.

it's not a secret that ex-LILYPAD members can't stand each other ( mostly ot3 lilypad vs grace ), and even fans can't help but watch the trainwreck get worse and worse. GRACE has been blasting her way through the music industry with double-meaning lyrics that even a blind man would see. there have been rumours that most of the title tracks ( especially MIND YOUR BUSINESS ) are about the ex-LILYPAD members, yet even with GRACE assuring people it's not, it's like no one bats an eye and loves shoving the poor woman under the bus with their accusations and crazy talks. after a while, GRACE stopped defending her songs, letting the public interpret them however they want, as she keeps releasing album after an album that kind of is shit-talking people who bring nothing but hate to the table.

⸻⸻ ﹕ QUESTION WORTH DYING FOR ⠀ › ⠀ GRACE'S THOUGHTS.

" honestly, i could care less about what other people think, " grace admits like it's second nature to her, " every shit they're spewing online has already been said to my face, so why should i spend my time worrying about children's opinion when i could be out there making money and a name for myself. " she looks up, sending a sarcastic smile before smirking, " besides, i don't see them anywhere in the music industry, yet they have the right to judge me and what-not. ridiculous. "

#⸻⸻ ⠀・。⠀▸ ﹕ GLASSHOUSE ⠀ › ⠀ CEO. #⸻⸻ ⠀・。⠀▸ ﹕ GLASSHOUSE ⠀ › ⠀ ASKS. #ficnetfairy #anon <3 #as soon as i got this ask i had to do it!! hope this shows a lil bit more of grace!

[thetarttfuldickhead]

A Jamie-centric pre-OT3 Christmas story told in 25 short chapters.

Masterpost / AO3

20.

Roy didn’t have a very high opinion of people in general. He didn’t expect much of humanity as a whole. He was aware that some people might call him a misanthrope (though that was fucking unfair, because it wasn’t that he didn’t like other people, it was that most other people persisted in being fucking idiots and why the fuck should he waste his time on fucking idiots of he didn’t have to?). Given that, it was something of a mystery to him how he still could be continually surprised by the utter absurdity of the things people got up to. Especially if the person in question was Jamie Tartt, because if something was stupid and/or pointless, Roy fully expected Jamie to be all for it. (Though perhaps, he allowed, there were depths to Tartt he hadn’t considered before. Sides he hadn’t seen, and mightn’t necessarily hate.)

Yet here he was, fucking perplexed by what he’d just been told, seemingly in all earnestness, by the little tosser still wrapped in Keeley’s arms.  

“You wanted to make me happy,” he said flatly. “Because the universe sent you a dream that that’s what you had to do if you wanted to see your mum.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Keeley interjected, shooting Roy a warning look. He rolled his eyes at her, because excuse him for being a tiny bit baffled by this batshit logic.

But he also subsided, because none of them needed this to turn into another shouting match.

“I think it’s sweet,” Keeley repeated firmly, turning her attention back to Jamie. “And I believe the universe does send us signs sometimes. But babe, do you think that maybe you got a little caught up in the doing good stuff bit, and forgot about what it really was you were trying to achieve?”

”Yeah,“ Roy agreed quickly, feeling that on this at least he had some relevant thoughts. “Jesus Christ, Tartt, if you want to make things right with your mum, you need to talk to your mum. Mucking around with other people – sending secret gifts and shit – is just putting it off and getting you nowhere.” He crossed his arms and gave Jamie a pointed look. “You need to stop making excuses about what the universe fucking wants you to do and go see your mum.”

“Yeah,” Jamie murmured, pulling at the hem of his hoodie. “I… I know that, all right? I know. But, I just thought… I mean, it’s… it’s fucking hard, okay? So I thought that maybe, if I, you know, if I could tell her that it was all okay now, that I’d made nice with everyone, then she’d… I thought it’d be easier, like.”

Something small and soft in his voice, causing Roy’s bemused irritation to melt away (and alarmingly quickly too, which was irritating all on its own). “And you thought getting me a bottle of whisky would make everything right between us, did you?” he asked drily, mostly to cover the entirely unreasonable surge of… not affection, but something a whole lot gentler than the active dislike he’d reserved for the other until today.

“Mate, that whisky cost more than your watch,” Jamie informed him haughtily, sounded for a moment rather like his usual self. “It was right hard to get hold of, too. Had to get the year of your birth, right, you even notice that? And besides,” he added before Roy had time to answer, in a far more plaintive voice, “You wouldn’t talk to me. I fucking tried, remember? Was dead polite about it and all, but you were a mean cunt just like always—“

“Oi! Don’t call me a mean cunt when you’re sat on my fucking couch and cuddling my girlfriend, you twat.”

“Uh, then don’t call me a twat—“

“Boys,” Keeley said sternly. “We were having a decent time here, yeah? Don’t go ruining it with your testosterone.”

“Sorry, Keeley,” Jamie immediately offered, the little suck-up. Roy gave him a sardonic look – since when did Jamie apologise for anything? – but kept quiet. Keeley did have a point, didn’t she?

His restraint was rewarded by a warm but knowing smile from Keeley and a mouthed thank you, even as she resumed running her hand through Jamie’s hair. Jamie hummed happily and snuggled even closer, his earlier concern about Roy’s reaction to Keeley holding him apparently forgotten.

And it was odd, because Roy should have thought he’d be jealous, given how worked up he’d been over Keeley’s past with Jamie back when he first started fancying her. And maybe he was, just a bit (because Keeley looked stunning and he hadn’t kissed her since this morning and it would be pretty fucking lovely to just hold her for a moment), but mostly the sight of them, with Jamie curled up against Keeley like a cat and looking unguardedly relaxed, made him feel… He didn’t quite know. Warm, maybe. Protective. Something in him ached, but not in a bad way.

”It never was about me, was it?” he mused aloud. “The gifts, the fucking plane and carollers, it was just something you had to do to make things right with your mum?” That ached too, unexpectedly; in a bad way.

Jamie scrunched up his face. “No. I mean, yeah, yeah, of course it was, in the beginning, but like… it was about you too, especially in the end? I liked knowing I did something nice for you, yeah? Like, I could make Roy Kent feel good and that made me feel good, you know?”

Oh. Yeah. Roy did know all about how sometimes making others feel good was the only way you could feel even remotely good about yourself. He just hadn’t thought that be something he’d ever have in common with Jamie Tartt of all people, or that Roy’s well-being would ever be of any concern to Jamie’s.

“And you did… “ Jamie sounded fucking shy, although he tried to mask it by pretending to inspect his nails very carefully. “I mean, you did, right? Like it? Some of it?”   

Roy’s first instinct was to say not, because… Well. Because. But looking at Jamie and seeing the way he was trying so hard to appear casual while sneaking little peeks at Roy while waiting for an answer, he found that he didn’t have the heart for it.

“The plane was a little over the top,” he finally allowed with a sigh. “But other than that, yeah, Jamie, I fucking liked it.”

#the cuddling continues! #that's it that's what happens #and a bunch of talking #royjamiekeeley #god the three of them together just makes me SO HAPPY #jamie's christmas carol #my stuff #fic

[lunar-years]

everyone has different interpretations of scenes, but for real that scene with jamie and roy was just plain sexist. roy seriously said "i don't know if we're getting back together because she's a woman and you never know". like what the absolute fuck was that line? they showed up to her house condescending, completely unapologetic about their behaviour, and treated her like a trophy prize. she deserved to beat them up. jamie and roy have always been troubled characters, but they were never (not even in season one) sexist assholes. the show went out of its way multiple times to establish that even when they made mistakes it was due to personal insecurity and not misogyny.

and whenever it was something misogynistic, it was heavily criticised as such, which, in this episode, it was not. a lot of people did seriously not catch the blatant sexism of it at all and went "that's how these men act" (again, what the fuck?). jamie spent season three being respectful of roy and keeley's breakup and not making a move on her, out of consideration of roy's feelings. roy, who knows how abusive jamie's father is, probably better than any other male character on the show, physically assaulted him. despite the fact that throughout the season roy has been approaching jamie with affection, realizing that's what he needs to feel secure (complete disrespect to 2x08 too, one of the best episodes of the series). and while we're on the topic of violence, roy and jamie were never this violent with each other, even when they hated each other's guts. jamie, who gave keeley a truly heartfelt apology about the leaked video, making a point to not victim-blame or engage in literally ANY other sexist behaviour, just brings it up to upset roy in a dick-measuring contest. and one episode ago, one fucking episode ago, they were all getting along, keeley and roy were obviously trying to get back together, and jamie wasn't one bit bothered by it. they were holding hands on his bed and he saw them and smiled! regardless of whether you think the roykeeley arc was rushed (i do), jamie might have been heartbroken or sad, but he wasn't, not once, established as jealous of them. and this entire season was devoted to roy and jamie becoming friends by slowly growing comfortable around each other and actually trusting each other. every single one of those things was thrown into the trash. and yeah, sure, progress isn't linear and perfection isn't possible for people, but that WAS NOT regression. roy and jamie were never sexist dicks. those were two completely different characters.

ALSO, this scene normalizes the idea that it's perfectly forgivable to revert back to sexism whenever emotionally distressed, even if you are generally not like that in your life. it's not. in reality, you're either sexist or you're not, and doing this in one scenario will absolutely mean that you will be sexist in different scenarios too. nobody in real life will be sexist in some areas of their life and feminist in others. implying that this isn't the case shows a very poor understanding of feminist theory and ted lasso has more or less done a good job at not being sexist. i feel like this really excuses unacceptable behaviour that the show itself tells us, with rupert particularly, has very real consequences that perpetuate violence against women. to me, the light-hearted resolution of that whole scene was terrible and poorly written at best. people in the writers' room typed that scene, read through it, and did not find it weird at all. though it's not the first time in the third season, see: forgiving jamie's dad and far-right bigots (???).

and lastly, when people were asking for a love triangle resolution, they meant something fitting for the year of our lord 2023. healthy communication and conversations, mutual respect and love between the charactets, maybe even polyamory (3x11 had a great ot3 set up, too). nobody meant we wanted something from the fucking 1950s. literally the only worse way this could have played out would have been if keeley ended up with the one that caused the other more damage. legit disgraceful ending for roy and jamie as characters, and for the show as well. considering everything it has stood for so far.

(i'm sorry if this reads like i'm calling people out, i'm not, really, i'm just very mad. and also really sad, because i did not go into the ted lasso finale expecting unaddressed sexism. like that was Really Very Bad. for this show especially).

woahhh there's a lot going on here, anon. For anyone wondering, I'm assuming this is a response to this post of mine. While I don't mind discussion or being called out... this does feel like something that could've very well been your own post or an open response to mine instead of an anon note. Because if you've read my meta, you'll probably already know I'm not going to agree with you on this.

Just gonna drop a few short thoughts because I don't have energy to write a think piece when my broader thoughts are already contained in my original post:

I'm not sure where you think I was trying to excuse their words or pretending they weren't being sexist or like they weren't treating Keeley as a weapon in their own games or a prize to be won. I think there's a difference between excusing someone's actions versus trying to understand where they were coming from for the characters and where they are at now.

"while we're on the topic of violence, roy and jamie were never this violent with each other, even when they hated each other's guts" Roy & Jamie were literally beating each other up in the locker room and brawling right out there on the pitch in season 1, anon.

"Keeley and Roy were obviously trying to get back together, and Jamie wasn't one bit bothered by it." this is just not true. Roy was trying to get back together with Keeley. Keeley wasn't shown to be reciprocal (beyond sleeping with him, which is a repeated pattern of behavior for her on the show, and something she in fact did with Jamie in season one), and Roy misinterprets it, as Jamie misinterpreted it. In fact, I'd argue Roy deciding it was a good idea to try and make him and Keeley happen right there in Jamie's bedroom with Jamie crying to his mum one room over, shows he wasn't thinking about Jamie, not when it comes to Keeley. Roy wants what Roy wants and he assumed he was going to get it. And Jamie went through a whole journey of expressions when he opened that bedroom door, so I don't think it's fair to say he "wasn't one bit bothered." I think we've established at this point Roy and Jamie both love Keeley and have always been weird and jealous about it with the other.

"this scene normalizes the idea that it's perfectly forgivable to revert back to sexism whenever emotionally distressed" this scene didn't normalize anything, because the show immediately acknowledged that Jamie and Roy were both in the wrong and had Keeley rightfully kick them to the curb for it. The narrative was not that this is okay or acceptable behavior. I definitely didn't see the scene as light-hearted

"nobody in real life will be sexist in some areas of their life and feminist in others." i am a woman who considers herself very much a feminist. That doesn't mean I've never had moments of internalized misogyny or made harmful comments that buy into a patriarchal narrative, despite myself. Well-intentioned people make mistakes. We are all works in prog-mess trying to get through life as the best people we can be. Jamie and Roy, in my opinion, are fictional iterations of the same principle. I don't think this comes even close to destroying their entire characters in the way you are implying.

All the best x

#asks #roy kent #jamie tartt #keeley jones #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers

[msfbgraves]

OT3

Kumiko's wee face!

Daniel isn't even here for ten minutes and she is like: awesome! Let's invite Chozen so they can make up and we can all get married after!

To me it really feels like: Chozen had a thing for Kumiko before Daniel showed up, but he was too much of an asshole. Kumiko and Daniel fall for each other. Chozen falls for Daniel while he is extremely jealous about Daniel having Kumiko. Short-circuits spectacularly.

Chozen still has a thing for Kumiko but threatened to kill her, which, awkward. Becomes the most courteous man Kumiko has ever met when she returns to Okinawa. Good enough of a friend for them to prank Daniel together. Hell, they bond over still having a thing for Daniel but not handling that well at the time. Or what they felt for each other. Kumiko suspects Daniel might also have a thing for Chozen. Puts it to the test. Sees that Chozen is still not over himself about everything after, though. Spends more time with Chozen. Chozen gets called to California. Excellent. All but proposes to her drunkenly at Daniel's prompting. Very excellent. Comes back raving about Daniel. Chozen you dork. Starts talking about how hurt he was when she fell for him because he had hoped... and would she consider...? Happiness all around. Strange feeling at their wedding that someone is missing at the ceremony. Spend half their honeymoon talking about Daniel. They have Yuna cook up a flimsy excuse for a business trip to Okinawa. Daniel is here on the next flight. They spend the week having several spectacular threesomes, Daniel and Kumiko cuddled at Chozen's side while holding each other's hand. Lots of dancing. Lots of sparring. Drinks with Yuna. Business trips at regular intervals. Very warm goodbyes and a certain "until next time."

They will absolutely visit the Sekai Taikai so Kumiko can meet everyone on neutral ground. Amanda and Kumiko come to an understanding: Daniel comes to visit them, she gets to spend quality time with Carmen. Which works out because Daniel also needs some quality time with Johnny. You know him. Kumiko is in stitches, Daniel you slut! Everyone gets stupidly drunk after.

#karatecule #danzen #damiko #my ot3 #chozen toguchi #kumiko #daniel larusso #amanda larusso #cobra kai

[mihrsuri]

Some things about Marian/Marianne Tudor-Dudley - Elizabeth Tudor and Robert Dudley’s youngest child in my Tudors OT3 verse. Because @theladyelizabeth sparked

The first thing to know about Marian is that her next sibling is 21 when she’s born (her next two brothers are 23 and her sister is 28) because she was born in 1580 and was, as they say A Surprise because her mother was 47 and thought that her pregnancy days were way way past. 

She was christened Mary after her oldest aunt but she’s been Marian/Marianne since her birth. 

The thing with Marian is that she always, always felt like she had so so much to live up to. Her sister is her cousin the kings spymaster/advisor, beautiful, charming and incredibly intelligent. Her brother Robbie is a brilliant sailor, her brother Harry a charming courtier and horseman. Even Thom(Thomas) the quieter brother is a renowned gardening expert. 

(And then her parents are also pretty damn legendary themselves obviously)

And like, Marian is not not brilliant herself - she’s an artist (I actually don’t know if they would have had watercolor as a medium so I need to look that up) - a painter but it was a bit of a ‘well my siblings and aunts and uncles have already done all this so I’m not news really’ 

She got a lot of reassurance - I think especially from the cousins/relatives much more around her age (Edmund and Pippa’s children in the main there) and from her cousin Turhan (King Thomas II) who knows about living up to legends, oh wow does he. 

Her first marriage was actually to the Duke of Ferrera (Alfonso) - she fell for him/married him in large part because he was a huge patron of artists - they lived in Italy after their marriage and had four children (Francesco, Giovanni, Contessina and Lorenzo) and Marian built a reputation as an artist herself as a well as a patron of artists - especially female artists who she studied and learned from. 

It was kind of a tumultuous marriage - Alfonso it turned out, didn’t approve of Marian’s artistic career, resented that she was revered more than he was and in the end Marian took her young children back to England and was granted an annulment. Her oldest child did eventually become Duke of Ferrera himself, though it took a long time but in the end Alfonso had no choice because he had no other heirs. 

Her second marriage was a happy one - she married Turhan, Earl of Surrey and had her twins Turhan and Mihrimah.  Her children from her first marriage always considered the Earl of Surrey their father. 

Marian lived through the English Civil War, The Restorationist Regime and then the monarchy returned under her relative Queen Charlotte Askala - she died in 1680. 

Told the Restorationist King in so many words that he was a fucking coward, an ass and a small excuse for a man. 

Also smuggled out refugees from the people the Restorationists were targeting (more on that here for background) and made sketches of events she observed. 

Straight up hid people’s goods for them. 

#tudors ot3 verse reference #ot3: political power trio #straight up her first husband turns into a dick

[jamiesfootball]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

So I wasn't going to do this because I don't even have five fics posted yet, but then I decided you know what? Fucking goals, man. So here's the two I've got and the (top) three that I'm working on that should see the light of day this year:

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. fic - Did you like the 2015 Man From UNCLE movie? Did you walk out of that theater going 'what a wild romp? I sure hope it gets a sequel.'

Well we're never getting a sequel, but here's a lovely OT3 fic that I was lucky enough to co-write with the very talented @thischapstickaddict (the bestie with the best outlines). She brings the romance, I bring the punchy action scenes, and together we crafted enough dramatic backstory to hopefully satisfy the 100 other people online who were obsessed with this movie in 2015.

The Garrison Reserve (aka the BBC's Musketeers Cooking AU fic) - Speaking of older fandoms. Are you hungry? Would you like to be hungry? Come be hungry what started as a crack idea but slowly became a thinly veiled excuse for me to talk about food for 64k words and make my case for why D'Artagnan is a manic pixie Florida man (until depression and life circumstances dragged me to a crushing halt at chapter 4/5 with half of chapter 5 written and never posted) (ngl I miss this fic and now that i've got brain waves again it's back on the menu) (as soon as i relearn every side character's name again it's back on the menu) (we also did, in fact, write a real menu for this. those are real recipes)

NOW ONTO THE NEW STUFF BABY!!!!!!!

[Redacted Title] Post Season Three Fic - MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN. It's gonna have all the hits for me: food! crying! backstories for people who didn't get backstories! food as a love language! shameless nerd culture quotes that no one but me will notice! shenanigans! fun group scenes with multiple people talking and being friends! friends who are your family now! If you, a blessed Ted Lasso fan reading this post have somehow stuck it out this far here's your reward - I'm feeling really good about the progress, and I maybe might don't want to jinx it but I might be able to start posting. Soon. Soonish. Like within the month. Previously aforementioned bestie has been getting snippets and I am tentatively excited that it will be up to snuff. This is good news that only you, the patient one who's read this far, now know. Yay for you!

Pavlov's Dog (the Jamie falling asleep 5+1 I've mentioned) - it is going to be a race to see if this one beats [Redacted Title] to the light of day. This one takes an episode coda / deleted scene approach and its fueled by punk and sadness and rage (so mainly The Wonder Years songs with the occasional Mountain Goats lyric thrown in). I was actually making really really good progress on it and then Mom City happened and [Redacted Title] was born.

Now I've got a handful more Ted Lasso fics half-started in the rafters, but the other fic that's likely to get posted this year, the one that I've been just dying to get out there, that one that i'm like a redbull and an ADHD fit away from posting even though no one but me has ever wanted it:

MY BATFAM / THE CONJURING AU - THAT'S RIGHT. ARE YOU A FAN OF BATMAN AND SPECIFICALLY HIS ADOPTED FAMILY? DID YOU LIKE THE MOVIE THE CONJURING? ARE YOU SCARED? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE SCARED? IT'S SCARY. I WROTE A THING AND IT'S SCARY.

This is my mid-year resolution! These things I have written - people will see them!

#ya'll i am so sorry but I think it's time for you to know i am in fact like this. all the time #I'm not even gonna tag this with any fandoms #it feels too spammy #ask box #ask box is always open #if anyone has any questions about any of these #i will not give spoilers but i love to be elusive and meta and talk about the thinky thoughts that are going on #mild fic update - [redacted title] now at 54k which is not a lot of progress but is at the same time #as i begin to replace the notes that were part of the outline with actual writing - the notes eventually must disappear #I will update this post when I post I will update this post when I post I will update this post when I post

[eternal-love-song]

The Lake House

After waking up from the killing game, the participants all go to Rantaro's family lake house to try and heal. Miu, Kokichi and Angie have some growing pains as they try to heal together.

[Kokichi/Miu/Angie]

[VR AU, Recovery, Domestic, OT3, Polyamory, Developing Relationship, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanism, Everyone Needs a Hug, Insecurity, Misunderstandings]

o The Morning Cigarettes tasted like shit. It was a special brand of torture that he'd begun to put himself through after a few weeks spending too much time with Ryoma and Shuichi. They'd been a bad influence and he'd caught their coping mechanism a month after waking up. Better than Miu who'd dragged Korekiyo and Maki into their habit of hard drinking, not as good as Rantaro who smoked much better things than cigarettes. Better still was Kaito, Tenko, and Gonta who had taken up running with a zeal that was probably worse than all the previous methods but technically better in the long run.

Kokichi watched the sunrise as he blew smoke rings into the air. He was keeping his mind focused on the little things. The way the cold, early morning air bit at his skin, the slight burn as he took a drag on his cigarette, the way the smoke looked as he exhaled in front of the sunrise, the feel of the wood underneath his thighs. He'd been up for hours, surviving on coffee, micro naps, and the prolonged noise of everyone around him blissfully preventing him from sleeping. It was better than he had expected. Better than being at that stupid "hospital" run by Danganronpa.

When team Danganronpa told them they were getting kinked out after only two weeks, Kokichi had thought he was going to lose it. As much as he had hated being there, they had no memories and a pinata full of trauma waiting to be cracked out at the lightest tap, setting them all loose was probably the stupidest thing they could do. Kokichi had yelled, Kaito had punched one of the orderlies in the face, and Tenko flipped every nurse that approached them all for a full day regardless of gender. Rantaro was the one that saved the day, telling them all that his parents had offered their lake house to him while he recovered and he wanted to take them all with him.

Korekiyo had tried to decline until Miu got him drunk enough to have a breakdown and the rest of them had swept in with their headpats and kind words, while Angie had given him a sharp enough rebuke to make him feel like he wasn't getting away with literal murder. (Which, really, they all were in a way. Not just the blackened, but Shuichi for solving the crimes and sending his friends to their deaths, Maki and Ryoma for having the memories of doing so many murders, Him and Miu and Kaede for planning one, there were very few of them that could be called innocent here.) Himiko had to be dragged here, since she'd woken up with a renewed lack of vigor, knowing that everything had been for nothing. It was all kind of depressing really. He was kind of depressing. The only fun thing he'd really done since waking up was setting Tsumugi's shoes on fire before he left the facility. While she was wearing them. He hopes she ends up with a weird scar that reminds her of him and how shitty she is, but he knows that people like that don't feel guilt so there's point in trying.

He could hear the runners causing a ruckus down by the lake. Gripping the wooden railing of the deck and leaning forward, he could just about see them. It looked like one of them had tripped, but he was too far to see who. He saw the three of them running more often than not. They got up early and he stayed up late, so it was almost inevitable. Well, if staying up late was the same as not sleeping, at least. He thought it was. The noise they made kept him more grounded than staying in the quiet house while everyone was sleeping and smoking gave him an excuse to sit around doing nothing without too many people deciding to bother him.

"Here the fuck you are."

Seems he spoke too soon. He looked over his shoulder to see Miu, bleary eyed and messy haired, wearing a large t-shirt and shorts to sleep in as she stumbled out onto the deck. His lips curled up in a sardonic smirk. "Here I am."

"Why the fuck are you up so early?" she asked as she stumbled over to him.

"None of your business, cunt."

Miu smacked her hand against his face tiredly before dropping next to him and putting her head in his lap. "Stupid fucking asshole, making me look for you when I'm already goddamn tired."

By tired, she meant hung over. He'd seen her pass out around three in the morning with a bottle of vodka still in her hand and Himiko curled up on the table next to her. Himiko was a surprisingly energetic drunk, but only between three and five drinks, then it was just a bell curve.

Kokichi brushed her hair down with one hand. "No one told you to come looking for me."

"Shut up," she mumbled, pressing her face into his thighs. "Dreamed that your dumbass drowned in the lake."

Miu had been having dreams about his death since waking up. He supposed it was guilt even though she hadn't actually lived to see her plan come to fruition. Some nights not even passing out was enough to stop her feeling like shit and then she woke up and came crawling around him as if he could make her pathetic ass feel better when he couldn't even help himself.

"How'd I get in the lake?" he asked idly, keeping his eyes on the last lines of the sunrise. The sky was almost fully blue by this point and he always missed the pinks and purples of the early morning.

"You walked."

"Oh." Kokichi lowered the cigarette from his lips and rest his arm on the deck railing above his head. He supposed he couldn't blame her for that. He hadn't been much like himself since waking up, not that anyone really was.

Miu grabbed hold of his shirt and he could feel wetness slowly dripping onto his thighs. He pretended not to notice. Kokichi never knew what to do when Miu cried and now was no different. He just continued stroking her head in lieu of having any else to offer her.

"I'm not going to walk into the lake," he told her. "Not my preferred method of death." He thought it was supposed to be comfort or a joke, but even Kokichi would admit that he wasn't really sure.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she told him. "You'll pick the worst fucking thing you can think of and I might not even find out."

Yeah, that sounded like him. He leaned his head against the railing and put out his cigarette on his thigh, quick and hard. He jerked at the burn but stayed silent, another bad habit he had picked up. He told himself that it was safer than putting it out against the deck and ignored that he might have done it for any other reason. He dropped the unlit cigarette beside him so that if it spontaneously relit itself, he'd be the first to burst into flames and he could push Miu away from him. She didn't deserve to die another stupid death.

"Not too many bad ways I could die out here," he told her. "Once you take out the lake."

"You'd find a way," she told him.

Nice that she thought so highly of him when it was too late to be helpful. Kokichi closed his eyes and tried to push that thought away. Miu was his friend or something, best not to have those kinds of thoughts cluttering him up. Best to think as little as possible, really, since thinking had only ever gone badly for him. Just keep his eyes closed, listen to the idiots down by the lake, and stroke Miu's hair until she stopped leaking on him. Small things. Easy things.

By the time Kokichi opened his eyes again, the sky was fully blue and the runners were opening the door behind him to go back into the house. Miu was asleep again and his hand ached for a cigarette.

o The Afternoon The lake house was huge. It had two floors and a basement, enough bedrooms that they could all have a room to themselves but none of them did. Himiko wasn't allowed to stay in a room by herself. The girl had regressed so far in her depression that no one felt comfortable leaving her alone and she bounced between sleeping with Kirumi, Maki, or Gonta. The former two were forceful enough to actually get the girl moving and taking care of herself again, while the latter was so gentle with her that it seemed to guilt her into taking care of herself a little on her own. Miu had chosen a room in the basement, but she usually passed out either drinking in the rec room or passed out in her makeshift lab, a space that she shared with Angie herself or sometimes Kiibo.

Kaede spent more nights on the couch in the living room and others would join her if they had trouble sleeping or just didn't want to be alone. Angie had spent quite a few nights herself squeezing onto the couch with Kaede, unable to sleep well until she had someone beside her. The rare nights Kaede did sleep in an actual bed though, she shared with Tenko. Everyone had agreed that the girl was too indulgent to be trusted with Himiko, not that Tenko had tried to get close to her anymore. A lot of people had drifted away from those they'd hung around in the killing game. Korekiyo couldn't look at any of the girls that he'd considered "respectable" without flinching, Maki avoiding Kaito whenever possible, and Kaede and Shuichi wouldn't sit alone together in the same room.

Angie thought that it would be good in the long run. If Rantaro inviting them all here didn't prove it, then everyone accepting did, they were all too tangled up in each other after what had happened to just break away and that meant they needed to learn how to grow around each other. Angie thought that it was a good sign and she was jumping into it without looking back.

"It's too early to be drinking, Miu," Angie said as she walked into the room that Miu had turned into a makeshift lab. Half the room was messy with tools and electronics and various devices that Miu had begun to half heartedly tear apart. The other half of the room was crowded with paints, canvases, stacks of paper, and pencils.

Kokichi sometimes came in here with them to scribble on the stacks of paper, make a blueprint of something for Miu to build, or even just draw with her. It was one of the things that made Angie smile the most, Kokichi pushing his way into this space with Miu and Angie. In return, Angie had slowly been trying to push her way into the space that Kokichi and Miu shared, since when either of them actually spent any time in one of the bedrooms, they did so together. Angie had been moving between the couch with Kaede and the revolving door of Rantaro's room, which was open to anyone and everyone, but she'd made a decision a week after being here and was still working toward making that a reality.

"Screw you, give that back!" Miu yelled, jumping out of her seat and trying to grab the bottle.

Angie danced away from her easily. "Nope, nope, nope! If you're going to be drinking anyway, you aren't going to do it this early in the day."

"You're not the damn boss of me!"

Angie smiled at her and leaned to one side. "Well someone has to be, right?" She leaned to the other side. "You want someone to take care of you, don't you?"

Miu shrank back from her, biting her lip and avoiding Angie's eyes. "You don't know anything."

"Angie thinks that she knows you pretty well. Miu isn't very subtle, after all."

Miu flinched for a moment before pulling her cloak of bravado around her once more. "No one asked you!" she yelled. "Even if I did want someone telling me what to do, I wouldn't want to listen to your dizzy ass."

"Don't say things that you don't mean, Miu." Angie smiled wider, leaning forward as she glared at the girl. "Or else god will punish you."

Miu jumped back. "Fuck! You and Kokichi both with that shit!"

Angie put the bottle on top of the bookshelf, out of Miu's immediate reach. Then she turned around and gave Miu her normal smile, ignoring the wary look that still lingered on Miu';s face. "If you want something to drink, why don't you come have a cup of tea with me?"

"I don't want any damn tea," Miu muttered. "I want to get drunk off my ass."

Angie skipped over to Miu, taking her hand and pulling her along. "Too bad!"

Angie was pretty sure that Miu hadn't had anything to eat today and would be sick to her stomach if Angie let her drink. She couldn't just bring Miu food though. The girl liked to be stubborn, so Angie had to work in stages and the first stage was to get Miu to the kitchen. Even though Miu groaned and dragged her feet, she still followed Angie into the kitchen.

The kitchen was empty. Angie had waited until after Kirumi had come and gone so that she wouldn't be in the maid's way. Kirumi had come a long way in her insistence of serving others, but it was clear that cooking and cleaning were things that she enjoyed doing even when she wasn't doing it for others, so no one felt like they needed to try and stop her. Kirumi had also gotten much better at accepting their help when it was offered and everyone considered that a success.

Angie pushed Miu into a chair, the girl grunting at the rough treatment. "What kind of tea do you want?" Angie asked.

"The Irish kind," Miu said with a pout.

"That's coffee," she replied. "And Angie's not giving you alcohol, so try again. "

"Ugghh," Miu groaned loudly. "Fine. Whatever. Something with caffeine, I guess."

Angie chose pomegranate tea and went to work making it, humming as she did so. She could hear Miu tapping restless on the table but Angie didn't pay any mind to it. The inventor was hungry for attention at all times, Angie had learned that if she waited long enough, Miu would talk to her and doing things that way usually made them easier.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Miu asked quietly.

"Angie's doing exactly what she wants to be doing." She brought two cups of tea to the table, along with milk, sugar, and honey.

Miu huffed as she pulled her tea cup toward her, squeezing a generous amount of honey into her tea. "Of course the god freak wants to be around me when the twerp I want to be around is ignoring me."

Angie stirred a few teaspoons of sugar into her own drink. "Did you and Kokichi have a fight?"

Miu frowned as she stared into her tea. "All we do is fight. If we were fighting, things would be normal. I don't know what's wrong with that damn brat, he's just been staring at nothing all damn day."

"Maybe he's upset."

Miu slammed her hands on the table, spilling some of her tea. "We're all fucking upset!"

"And you think that means he shouldn't have any reason to ignore you?" Angie asked. She watched as Miu's face crumpled and she pushed herself away from the table, stomping over to the counter to retrieve a rag. Angie sipped at her tea while she waited for Miu's response.

Miu began wiping the spilled liquid from the table, keeping her gaze down and avoiding Angie's eyes. "He does," Miu said softly. "He has plenty of reasons to ignore me. I tried to fucking..." She tossed the rag to the side and slumped back into her chair. "We're the only fucking friendship to survive the stupid killing game! Kiibo doesn't want me to so much as look at his paneling and Gonta never eve3n comess into the damn basement because he knows I'm always down there."

Angie nodded. It was nothing that she hadn't noticed. No one liked to talk about the killing game, some of them danced around the topic like it was taboo. While Angie didn't know everything, she hadn't even heard Kokichi mentioning the killing game since leaving the facility. It was difficult to look someone in the eye when they knew you at your worst, or when they caused you to be your worst self. Angie wasn't really like that. She wanted to seek the other out even more, be even closer to them. She recalled dying all alone, being isolated because she had pushed so many people away, and she reached out for people all the more furiously.

No, she wasn't trying to take care of Himiko, but that's because Himiko wouldn't benefit from Angie trying to get close to her right now. She didn't talk to Korekiyo because he looked like he might throw up when she stayed in the same room with her too long. Tenko and Kiibo and Gonta all acted awkward around her. they were the ones that weren't ready for her and she respected that. That was why she had ended up spending so much time with Miu and Kokichi. Miu needed someone to take care of her and even though she and Kokichi had tangled themselves up together, they weren't helping each other, just holding on. Kokichi wasn't reaching out to anyone or pushing anyone away, he was just standing still. That made it easy for Angie to stand with him, to weave her way between him and Miu.

"Are you worried that he'll start to push you away?" Angie asked.

"He always is! He's... if everyone else has already... What makes us so damn different?" Miu demanded, tears in her eyes. "Why did I think that we would be able to hold on when everyone else..." Miu swiped her hand over the table, flinging the tea cup to the floor and causing it to shatter on the ground. "I hate this! I hate this so much. All I do is drink, have nightmares, and fucking cry."

Angie got up from the table and went to Miu's side, wrapping the girl up in a hug. It wasn't like the divine embraces that she had offered to her student council. It wasn't pretty and comforting, it was tight and desperate and more than a little clingy. Angie wanted to comfort Miu, but she knew that she was the one that really needed this hug, that was desperate to have someone to hold onto to.

Miu didn't hug her back, but she didn't push Angie away either. Just beat her fist on the table as she cried. "Why did I try to kill someone that I lo--" Miu cut herself off with a sob and Angie held her tighter. She hoped that she was helping. Wanted so much to be helpful enough that the girl would stop pushing her away, enough that she would be able to weave herself around her, around someone, anyone, and maybe they would hold on to her back.

o The Night The basement was kind of crowded. While a lot of people either avoided the basement or had better things to do during the day, the night was different. During the night Korekiyo would come to sit and drink with her, lamenting over the things he thought in the game and trying to drink enough to drown the voice of his "sister" out of his head. Himiko would come down to either drink or find a secluded corner to hide in until one of the people that had chosen to watch her came to collect her. Rantaro would sometimes come down there to smoke, wanting to get everyone out of the bottle for a night with a different offer of to calm everyone down, and it was fifty fifty whether or not she'd actually put the bottle down. Sometimes one or two others would drift down but those were the usual suspects.

It was late now. She'd seen Angie upstairs curled around Kaede on the couch when Miu refused to turn in around midnight. Kokichi had been in some depressing talk on the deck with Shuichi and Ryoma around one. Maki had scooped up Himiko before two.

It was close to or after three in the morning now. Rantaro had followed Korekiyo to his room more than ten minutes ago and she was just... sitting here. She felt too sick to keep drinking. If even thought too hard about the bottle in her hand she'd probably puke, but that didn't mean that she wasn't tempted. At least if she was busy bending over a toilet she'd be too busy to think about how quiet it was now, how restless she felt, how lonely... It seemed like Angie was only ever around when she didn't want to deal with the bitch, but the moment Miu actually wanted some company the ditzy bitch was shaking up with someone else. Typical. Fucking typical.

Miu punched a wall. She took a shot that had her throwing up ten minutes later, then she broke the mirror on her way out of the bathroom.

"Wow Miu, I didn't think you were ugly enough to break a mirror just by looking at them."

Miu instinctively hid her hand before she turned around to look at the little gremlin. "Thought you were busy taking it up the ass with Ryoma or whatever."

Kokichi smirked at her, but his heart wasn't in it. It almost never was nowadays. "Oh yeah, you know I can't sleep right unless I'm full up on both ends."

"You never fucking sleep," she spat.

Kokichi smiled as if she'd proven his point. She guessed she'd had.

Miu tried to brush past him. "Outta my way, you damn abortion."

Kokichi slammed his hand against the wall, blocking the doorway and glaring at her. "Show me your hand, you cow. You think I'm stupid?"

Miu thought about arguing. She thought about trying to kick Kokichi to the curb like he did to her. But... he didn't kick her to the curb. He was here. Even though he could be sucking dick upstairs, he still came to check on her, and damn if she didn't want to cry in pure relieve over that fact alone. She huffed as she held out her hand. The light caught on a few small pieces of glass that had embedded themselves in her skin.

Kokichi grabbed her wrist and pulled her over to the counter. "The fuck did you think you were going to do? Go to bed and roll in glass shards?"

"I didn't see them," she muttered.

Kokichi rolled his eyes as he bent over her hand, pulling out tweezers from someone and picking out the tiny shards of glass. "Surprised you can see anything with how fucking bloodshot your eyes are. Drinking, crying, sleep deprivation, whatever the hell Rantaro probably gave you."

"You're one to talk. You avoid the bed like you owe it money."

"Yeah, it mugged me last Tuesday, I've never been the same."

Miu was quiet for a moment, just listening to the soft plink of glass hitting the sink. "You could talk to me, you know," she said quietly.

"Oh, like how you talk to me?"

"Fuck you, I talk!"

"You walk around the subject just like every damn body else," he said, slamming the tweezers down on the sink. "And you think if you get to the bottom of enough bottles you'll stop feeling guilty, but you fucking won't. You tried to kill me, Miu! And you failed. Get the fuck over it."

Miu inhaled sharply, feeling tears stinging at her eyes the way his words stung at her heart. Rather than recoil though, she felt herself picking up her own weapons to fight back. "Like you're so much better? You smoke half a damn pack a day and think that's going to help anyone. Learn anything staring at the fucking sky all day? You're even more of a damn load than you were in the killing game."

"Good thing someone finally had the guts to squish me flat," Kokichi hissed. "Maybe if you're lucky someone will do the job right this time and put us both out of our misery!"

"Stop it!" They both turned to see Angie standing in the doorway. She looked angry like Miu had never seen her before as she took in the situation before her. "Why are you doing this?"

Miu avoided her eyes. "It's not your damn business."

Angie ignored her, stomping over to Kokichi and pulling him into a hug, much like she had done to Miu earlier. "Angie isn't going to let you die. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

"You think you get a say?" Kokichi asked. He didn't return the hug. Neither did Miu. God, it was so stupidly painful to watch the way she tried to pull them close to her. She should know they didn't have anything to give her. They didn't even have anything to give each other. All they were good for breaking. Objects, each other, all they ever did was break and shatter and ruin whatever the hell they touched. It made her sick. It was no wonder Kokichi would rather fucking die than be with her.

Without thinking, she slammed her hand against the wall again. It hurt and left a smear of blood on the light blue paint, but she didn't care. She did it again. And again. She kept doing it until she felt two sets of arms wrapping around her.

"What the fuck are you doing, you stupid whore?" Kokichi yelled. His voice sounded more panicked than angry, but Miu didn't care.

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up!" Miu yelled. "If you hate me so much then stop fucking--"

"I don't hate you, you dumb bitch!"

"You do!" She pulled away from them both to whirl around on Kokichi. "You avoid me. You leave in the middle of the night. You don't trust me enough to sleep with me because you think I'll--"

"That's not on you!" Kokichi yelled. "My problems are my own damn problems."

"I gave you those problems!"

Kokichi tackled her hard enough to knock the breath out of her and she found herself pinned against the wall, wrapped in his arms. "I love you, you fucking bitch! Alright? Are you fucking happy now?" Miu felt stunned. Kokichi was gripping her like he thought she'd crumble to dust in his arms. She guessed that between the two of them, only one of them had lived through the other's death. "You're such a headache, Miu. Making me say this stupid shit out loud when you should fucking know it already."

"How am I supposed to know it?" she asked, wrapping her arms around him and clinging tightly. "How I supposed to know how the fuck you feel, huh?"

"Shut up!"

They stayed that way for a long time, helplessly clinging to each other. When she finally looked up, she was surprised to see that Angie was still. She'd retreated to the doorway, but she was watching them with dull, glassy eyes. The look was... Miu could admit that it scared her a little. She didn't know how to describe it.

"A-Angie?"

Kokichi squeezed her tighter for a moment before he pulled away and looked over his shoulder to see Angie. He marched over to her, grabbed Angie arm and yanked her over to the toilet. He put down the lid, pushed Angie onto it, and then pushed Miu onto her lap.

"Hey!" Miu objected.

Angie's arms went around her and she could feel the girl crying behind her. It made her stiffen and she shot Kokichi a panicked look.

Kokichi just shook his head. He reached into the cabinet for the disinfectant and bandages, holding his hand out for hers. Miu gave it to him without complaint.

"I don't sleep," he said quietly, "Because if I sleep, I'll have nightmares. I'll remember the press coming down on me or the sharpness of the arrows, or the poison, or being fucking choked all the goddamn time. I'll wake up wanting to wrap a cord around someone's neck so they know what it's like or wanting to crush them. I'll wake up kicking and screaming because feeling any pressure remind me of being fucking crushed."

"You never told me that," she said softly.

"Yeah, well you never asked," he said sharply. She winced, both from his words and the sting of the disinfectant he sprayed on her knuckles. "And I haven't slept properly since we left the facility, so..." He let out a harsh breath. "I don't know, maybe it would be fucking different now. Maybe not. I thought Angie sleeping with you would be enough."

Miu squirmed a bit, being reminded that she was in the girl's arms. She was so quiet and still, it was freaking Miu out a bit. "She's not even with me all the time," Miu mumbled.

"Do you want her to be?" Kokichi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"H-huh?" she squeaked.

"Do you want Angie to be with you more?" he asked.

Miu began wringing her hands. "W-well, I..."

Kokichi rolled his eyes and went back to wrapping her hand. "That's your fucking problem, you never say what the hell you want. You make us fucking guess and then Angie feels left out and I... and I have to say stupid shit that I don't want to say."

"Angie doesn't want to be alone," the girl said quietly from behind Miu. "She just... wants to help."

"You were upstairs with that piano bitch," Miu argued.

"You pushed Angie away when she tried to get you to bed earlier," she said. "But Angie came back."

Miu sighed and leaned back in Angie's arms. She did come back. Kokichi came back, too. No one else really gave a damn about her and even those that did... Rantaro chose Korekiyo over her every time and Kirumi chose Himiko.

"I'm an asshole," Miu sighed.

"Yeah," Kokichi agreed. "Wanna state the obvious some more?"

"Fuck you," she said, though her heart wasn't in it anymore. Miu was tired. She was tired and it felt good to be held and it was probably four in the morning by now and she wanted to sleep. She grabbed Kokichi's hand. "Stay with me?"

"That's not a good idea."

Angie reached out to take Kokichi's other hand. "You listened to Angie when she had her breakdown," the girl said softly. Miu wondered when the hell this had happened, but she did know that the two of them spent a lot of time in the lab together. A lot could have happened while she was chasing her way through bottles. "Angie doesn't mind if you kick her out of bed or scream."

"You're completely batty," Kokichi said.

Miu looked over her shoulder in time to see Angie smile. "She knows."

Kokichi sighed. "Well clearly the two of us are too fucked up to be on our own."

"Everyone here is fucked up," Miu said. Not even Kirumi was immune to nightmares and bad blood. Everyone knew that guilt was the reason she was taking care of Himiko, because she was the only one that wouldn't complain about her help on some level. Kaede couldn't stand to look at Rantaro or Shuichi too long without crying. She'd caught Kaito staring at Kokichi and looking sick more times than she could count. None of them were okay. Maybe they never would be. But they could try. Miu wanted to fucking try!

Kokichi sighed again. "Yeah," he said, taking a deep breath. "Let's go to bed."

Miu stood up, Angie keeping an arm around her as she followed. They all retreated into the room that Miu had claimed. The room that she had been thinking of as hers and Kokichi's, even though he rarely slept in there with her. She was surprised to realize that Angie's things were just as equally scattered around as Kokichi's. There were canvases that Angie painted on the walls, paintbrushes on the night stands, her yellow coat thrown over a chair. Miu felt like such an asshole for trying to push her away so often.

"Angie likes to be squished," she said, looking directly at Kokichi as she said so.

"Then you get to go on the bottom," he replied.

"The fuck does that mean?" Miu asked. "What are we stacking on top of each other in a damn line?"

"Is that not how you sleep?" Kokichi asked.

Angie laughed, falling onto the bed and tugging Miu with her. She pulled Miu's head onto her chest and wrapped one leg around Miu's waist. Miu blushed. "The fuck!"

Angie just laughed at her and stroked her hair. "Just relax Miu, everything is fine."

Kokichi perched on the edge of the bed behind Angie, propping himself up against the wall. He placed a hand on Angie's shoulder and smiled at them both. "If I fall asleep, I'll either fall on you both and crush you or I'll fall out the bed and die."

Angie pulled on one of his arms until she had him in a death drip. "There. Now you'll definitely crush us."

Kokichi laughed and Miu found herself relaxing more and more. She wasn't losing anything. She wouldn't.

"I love you too," she said quietly.

Kokichi pretended not to hear her, but she met his eyes and he looked away too quietly. He heard her.

Angie nuzzled her. "Angie may not love you both yet, but she wants to."

Miu burrowed closer at those words. She didn't think anyone had ever wanted to love her. Kokichi did, but she knew that both of them had wound up with their feelings after kicking and screaming the whole way down. It was a different feeling to have someone choose you. Choose you at your worst, too.

"Yeah, well, I'm not saying that again," Kokichi told her. "So you'd better get good at picking up context clues."

Angie giggles. "Angie thinks she'll manage."

Miu closed her eyes. This was good. This could be really good.

#ELS Writing #Ounaga #Irouma #Irunaga #Kokichi Ouma #Miu Iruma #Angie Yonaga #Danganronpa V3 #Fanfiction #OT3s Are My Heart #polyamory #Angiemiu