#good night and remember you are the best

[kianaisspiraling]

Wish we could turn back time to when things were still okay.

Wish Techno was still here, and I wish Wilbur wasn't a shitty person.

I miss when there were four SBI. Permanently stuck at 2/4 now.

I'd rather say 2/3, actually. Wilbur doesn't deserve to be there.

Fuck Wilbur. I hope nothing else falls apart, I may not watch this side of mcyt anymore, but every time something happens, another piece of my inner child dies.

Condolences to everyone who grieves for Techno, to everyone that Wilbur hurt, and to everyone who feels like their world is crumbling because of all of this.

I miss when the dsmp was my comfort space. Sometimes, I wish I never got into the dsmp at all because of how all the recent incidents have affected me, but I ultimately don't think I regret it. The good memories are now tainted by bad, but that doesn't mean there's no good to be found. You're allowed to feel sad that it's over and a big mess now, but remember to be happy for the good it gave you then. Not all is bad, and you are not alone. I hope everyone, no matter who they are, remembers that.

You're allowed to feel sad about missing Wilbur, but remember that the person you are missing is who you thought he was, not really him. Wilbur Soot was a facade, and behind it was William Gold, who is a horrible person. This isn't about him, though. It is about Shelby and everyone else that he hurt and manipulated. To all of his ex-friends and family. He won't truly apologize for what he did, but I'm sorry he did it. I'm sorry for supporting a liar, I hope to never make that mistake again, but you can never know anymore who's real. I'm sorry that I still hear his songs in my head, I wish I could hear something else.

I still don't really know what to do with myself, and that's okay. I need to remember that one day I will. This isn't the end, and this is ultimately an enlightenment. I'd rather know about it than not, even if it makes me feel gross. This is only the end for Wilbur, which makes me glad. It's also a new beginning for everyone he hurt. It doesn't feel okay now, but recovery doesn't start off good, nor is it linear. It may not be okay right now, and it will never always be okay, but it will be okay again one day. I'm not ready to let go yet, but I will anyway, because that's the first step to learning to be okay. I'm sorry to Shubble, and everyone he lied to, including his fans. None of them deserved that. The people that he built his career off of didn't deserve that.

I don't know how to end this. I don't know how I started this. I just need to put this somewhere, or I'm going to lose my mind. I know logically I shouldn't've been this attached to him, but that doesn't change the fact that I was and that it hurts. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to do. All I know is fuck Wilbur and support Shelby and his other victims.

I hope you can have a good day/night despite all of this, but if not, that's okay. Remind yourself that you will have good days again. Just have to wait for them.

#support shubble #fuck wilbur soot #i hope everyone is doing okay #it will be better #i hope to one day be able to look back on the dsmp as the child i was then #not the worn down person I've been recently #remember to take care of yourself #don't feel bad if you need to step away from all of this #that's okay #no matter what you do after this #all i ask is that you DO NOT support wilbur soot #once again try your best to have a good day/ night #i'm tired of seemingly everyone and everything turning out to be horrible

[eyrieofsynapses]

good evening, all. it is May the 25th. our lilacs are blooming, just as the ones at the Watch House did. and I am thinking about remembrance of the fallen, and GNU, and the love in commemoration.

y'know, I read Night Watch… oh, maybe a year ago and some months ago. and the lilac symbolism, the remembrance of the Watch, has always struck me with the depth of the emotion of it, the tangibility of it in the flowers. but I wasn't aware that today was the day until I saw commemorative posts, all that gorgeous artwork and more, on my dash.

I was also not aware, until now, that fans commemorated the day not only because of the book reference, but in support of Terry Pratchett and of those with Alzheimer's. which knocked me over a bit because of course, of course the group that would use GNU to honor him would do that. and… I've been thinking about GNU a lot, lately, and this caught me again.

I read Going Postal a bit ago, and reread it recently. both times, the parts about GNU made me tear up. this idea of the names, the memories, the lives of the clacks workers who dedicated themselves to ensuring that people heard each other's voices—all those names spoken again and again and again by that which they poured their souls into, winging along in the air as they could not, an eternal reminder that they were loved—how could that not touch a person's heart?

when I found out that fans online used it to memorialize him, I damn well cried. hell, I still tear up just thinking about it. do you know, there's a code for an HTTP header "X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett" written by Reddit users to put in webpages, where it goes unseen by the average user? and in 2015, when Netcraft took a survey, there were eighty-four thousand websites using it? it's eight years later—how many thousands upon thousands of websites have this now, do you think? how many little cables of light has his name flown along, now? how many times?

that alone is absurdly and unimaginably lovely in its own right, but… there's something else to it. there's something about remembering with the lilac sprigs every year, just as Vimes and those who were there remembered their dead. something about how, when we take up our lilac sprigs, we carry a little piece of the characters in our hearts, too. I kept trying to put my finger on why that makes me tear up the way it does. the conclusion I came to is this:

what greater way to honor a writer is there, but to honor them the way they did the characters they poured their heart and soul into? what better way to say we know you and you are not forgotten and your work and words and gifts to the world are held in our hearts forever than to remember them by their own words, their own vision? how else could we say you embodied all the good you believed in and wished to see in the world, but to memorialize them after the little pieces of their soul they wrapped in ink and put upon the page?

it is a knowing of the writer, to remember them in their way. it is not a worn-out faceless platitude, but a reminder that their work has been read and will continue to be, that the characters and world they loved enough to bring to life last just as their name does. such remembrance is warm and loving and delights in their memory even as it grieves.

and now Pratchett's name has been written in his tradition, over and over and over, across the vast plane of the Internet, where it will—with any luck—continue to fly for generations to come.

there is no way to truly express the beauty of that… but perhaps we can catch a glimpse of it in the lilacs, both ours and the Watch's.

#the glorious 25th of may #night watch #gnu terry pratchett #discworld #I cannot express how much I love that our lilacs bloom at the same time as they do in the books #also I dearly wanted to include this little fact in my accidental monologue but it didn't fit. so in the tags it goes: #GNU Terry Pratchett is ALSO a Minecraft splash text #which is just. aaaaaaaaaaah of course a game with something like the End Poem would do that but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah #I have many feelings on this and a decent summary of a lot of them is about the beauty of how humanity remembers and loves our dead #and also just... the love. the love that can be held for someone you never met #but whose writing and words can pierce your heart in the best of ways #and the love for characters--for the best of them are these little shards of the writer's soul that they decided to share #because that's really the nature of writing. baring your soul and your self to others in those persons you breathe to life on the page #and then sharing it with others just in hopes that it might ring true and inspire them #give them insight #help them in ways no one else could because only YOU could write that character and share that part of yourself #and by gods if Pratchett isn't among the best at that then I don't know who is #anyway. I have feelings and I accidentally turned them into a monologue whoo #have a good evening all

[morningstargirl666]

FIC REC FRIDAY #4

ad aeternam. by darkness_shows_the_stars / @stars-and-darkness

His eyes are intent on her. They always are, but never so strong, never so scorching, as when he’s needling for information she’d rather not give.

“I want you to come and …” She sighs. This is more difficult than she had expected it to be, and that’s saying something. She’d expected it to be like pulling teeth, but the feeling is more akin to ripping off an arm. “I want you to come and pretendtodateme.”

There. Done. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

No, not at all.

Klaus’s face smooths over, washed of all emotion. “Would you mind repeating that?”

Guys. Listen. I don't go searching for fake dating AUs. Mostly because I'm not a fan of human AUs. When I'm reading klaroline fanfiction, I'm here for the fantasy element, the age old hybrid falling in love with the blonde baby vampire. Therefore, fake dating AUs just don't really blip up on my radar. But. Guys. Guys. THIS FIC ALRIGHT. THIS FIC HAS OVERHAULED MY ENTIRE BELIEF SYSTEM???? LIKE? IT'S POST-CANON DIVERGENCE???????? YET A FAKE DATING AU????????????? DO YOU SEE THE QUESTION MARKS HERE IT DIDN'T EVEN OCCUR TO ME THIS COULD BE A THING AND YET IT IS AND IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATION TO EVER EXIST?

Anyways. Yeah, go read it.

OR I AM DISOWNING ALL OF YOU

#klaroline fic rec friday #klaroline #klaroline fanfiction #i mean i am bias because it is a gift for me but #the fic wasn't even tailored to my tastes???? #and yet I swear to god #it has become one of my favourite kc fics of all time #like #h o w #ella how do you this to me every time #anyways go read it #you will laugh and cackle and scream and squeal #best shot of serotonin to the brain ever #caroline's relatives are absolutely awful and bringing a wolf to the dinner table was perhaps her greatest idea ever #klaus is utterly DELIGHTFUL in this #i've actually forgotten the key things i screamed over now that I try to think #my remembrance of it is just a haze of pure happiness #it's like when you got drunk last night and you KNOW it was a good night out because you can't remember a thing #yeah if you check the comments section my thoughts were pretty incoherent #ella i hope you're proud you broke me with this #fic rec

[daydadahlias]

I’m convinced the only reason Luke hasn’t dressed them is because he doesn’t want to go to jail for mass murder because none of us would survive if all four of them slayed as hard as him. The four horsemen of the apocalypse

I’m willing to die that way

#Luke put ur drummer bestie in one of ur little sheer shirts challenge #remember when Michael wore Luke’s clothes and he looked so insanely good #Luke pls just #for one night #impart ur fashion wisdom on ur besties #I do want to say that I do like 5sos individual styles a lot #I just think Luke has the best individual pieces in his wardrobe and I wanna see the rest of 5sos in them please and thank you #crop tops all around #pigeon #anon #I want to see Ashton Irwin in a crop top just once please please please please

[sysig]

See you everywhere, now that you’re gone (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Dexter Favin #Ft. Wally West and Xigbar again - they're good to him <3 #Hhhh ;; The sads :'0 #ZEX never got to fully show off his uniform ;; #I was so hoping for that! He deserves to show off and feel nice and be praised </3 #At least he'd surrounded himself with good people - the dynamics around which are also interesting #Wally lovely <3 He's so sweet honestly just wants to offer a shoulder if he's able any small bit of comfort #He's injured and he's still trying to hug ZEX weh ;; Any bit of solace ♥ #Xigbar's way of cheering him up is his own kind of misplaced sweetness haha I love the care put into everyone's quirks <3 #Ugh the whole thing of Nobodies trying to (and failing to! To varying degrees) convince themselves that they don't have emotions #Clearly Xig is unbothered by this so it's better to just flirt and not worry about it! It's a shame but it happens to everyone #I see you Xigbar #Really tho him being a bit flippant and silly and tactile with ZEX did seem to help haha #''Let me comfort you'' pfft - sad silliness hehe #And then Dexter showed up!! I was so unprepared for that!! #Honestly I only expected him to come visit The One Time so I was so not ready for him to be here after All This #He made ZEX cry last time and this time he came to it already crying ;; #Ughhughgh ZEX's unshakable trust for DAX - even just his voice - being the breaking point of his self control I jfdlksahfds #Someone he can be weak in front of since he doesn't want to be seen by anyone that way - only to DAX ;;;; #Offering any bit of familiarity as comfort weh I'm fine this is fine ;; #Poor ZEX :( Being so powerless and helpless in this situation is so sad!! At least when he was in the War he was in control to an extent #He only touched his cheek with his uniform later that night which I do honestly love the imagery of soft and tender <3 #I like drawing people holding things fully to their face more than I remembered haha #And then the fact that his roommate changed the same night and it was /Kirk/ of all people fjdslahfdsfd wehhhhh 😭 #Kirk is genuinely the sweetest to him he is absolutely best boy but to have a Captain after all that ;;;; #It cuts so deeply ironic oww <3 <3

[atsu-i]

.

#good morning :) #going to work the second day today lol and am still adjusting lol #still am here to wish everyone goodluck on their day? #like...if you are working #going to work or uni #or school #yeah goodluck today whatever is happening with your day ^^ #also always remember to stay safe and breathe when you get overwhelmed at some point~ #pretty sure am also gonna apply that to myself today bahaha #anyways take care loves! #I hope you all have a nice day/night :) #also i will still try to be active on here haha try lol #again goodluck to you today and wishing you all the best always ^^ #later~

[thebirdandhersong]

songbird's season of general sadness/first real grief/sorrow is coming to an end: (in chronological/journeying order) songs and poetry that helped my heart a lot these past few months :)

Always Good, Andrew Peterson / Marjorie, Andrew Osenga / Ask Polly article I read on a whim: 'My Boyfriend Refuses to Change' / You're On Your Own, Kid, Taylor Swift / One Foot in Front of the Other, Griff / Heavy, Mary Oliver / Monday by @madamescarlette / The Letter, Linda Gregg / Summer's Retrospective by @madamescarlette / Ode to Some Lyric Poets, Gregory Orr

(bonus--from the scraps of writing that came out of this chapter of life, which are slowly being assembled into a more coherent story:)

#yknow i felt so alone at so many points but i really really wasn't #i had such good friends (here and in my church community) who held my hand so gently #and God used the things i understood best to show me His incredible love at just the right moments #still an ongoing journey but i am so so grateful for the secondhand heart-strength given to me and the tenderness that was extended when i #when i was really at my lowest and saddest and most oversensitive and easily provoked to impatience or anger or depressive spirals #anyway i can't remember who sent me marjorie but thank you so much for that it was such a comfort. it continues to be #and thank you eden for sharing your beautiful poetry!!!! it continues to refresh and encourage my soul #mmmm it's hard to put into words what everything (and by everything i mean: the songs here and on my playlists #and the poetry here and the books i've read during the summer and into the autumn #from cyrano de bergerac to tolstoy to rilke's poems and dorothy sayers and dostoevsky and st therese & st teresa and madeleine l'engle #not to mention the night walks and morning prayers and the wonderful times i've had with the other dorm girls! #suddenly quite overwhelmed by the abundance of love and blessing #immensely immensely grateful for everything. i can be such a little wretch sometimes and wallow awfully for days #or act like a little human machine and try to Rid Myself of all emotional surges. or just focus on all the negative things with astonishing #tunnel vision (you wouldn't BELIEVE). but God has been so gracious despite songbird being a silly goose #and every once in a while having mental breakdowns and having to learn the same lesson (surrender and humility) a bajillion times #anyway!! my heart doesn't hurt anymore!! #and i am learning to take it one day at a time and to Rejoice in all circumstances #slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21 #which really is so much harder than i thought at times!!!! but that makes it even more important to do so i think

[severushed-toslytherin]

I suddenly remembered that if we get a season 2 + Ova we most definitely will see these mofos again:

To all future interruptions these triggering palm trees will bring… I say:

#to hell with you 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #🌴🖐🏼🔥 ya need to STOP interrupting the best parts #THIS MOFO THEME SONG POPPED UP IN MY HEAD THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE NIGHT #it’s #fucking 4 am #I’m trying to sleep! I have work in 2 hours and I can’t sleep #and I remembered this #someone knock me out #I tried sleeping at a normal time today but— NOO #and with this… I bid y’all a good night #or morning #or whatever lol #sk8 the infinity #reki kyan #reki #langa hasegawa #langa #sk8 infinity #sk8 ♾

[todayisafridaynight]

grabbing rainbow sherbet vodka for the stream because I know it's what ichi would want 🤞

bro grabbing that fucking super mario vodka what the shit 😭

#snap chats #i dont know what im gonna get...... i SHOULD get soju since i can get more for cheaper #and soju's more potent now innit... but i am a sake fan... sake my best friend.. #but i like my sake hot. unless its nigori then OF COURSE you have to have it chilled.... #gddammit i left my shot glass at my moms. i didnt think id need it </3 #maybe sake's the game then..... #just to make sure i dont ACTUALY black out NO DID I TELL THE TIME I BLAKCED OUT FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME #ILL TELL IT AGAIN SINCE ITS TOPICAL IT WAS THE NIGHT OF MY SISTER'S WEDDING #and i went out post-wedding drinking with my dad and my sis and her hubby yeah #and /im/ a master of acting like im fine when im not when i care to and since i never want to look A Fool in front of my father again #i acted fine after i reached the point where I Very Much Was Not Fine #LIKE THERE WERE DRINKS AT THE WEDDING OOFC BUT I ALSO GOT SOME WHISKEY AT A BAR WE WENT TO #AND SO EVENTUALLY MY DAD AND HIS WIFE AND I ALL GO BACK TO THE HOTEL WE'RE ALL STAYING AT #god theyre so embarrassing i was walking (read: wobbling) back to the room i shared with my bro #and theyre just :) 👋 Good Niiiight We're Gonna Watch You Go Until You're Safe :) 👋 <- im literally down the hall from them #and the fucking. SECOND i get into my room im just hhoUUGGHGHHH BROTHER OF MINE. WHAT IS HAPPENING #i dont remember what happened i know i started watching Why Dont You Play In Hell again and then i suddenly woke up in my bed #I WAS ON THE COUCH LIKE I CANNOT STRESS THE ABRUPTNESS OF ME WAKING UP IN BED #I SAT ON THE COUCH TO WATCH THE MOVIE I THINK I GOT 27 MINUTES IN AND I BLINKED AND I INSTATRANSMISSIONED #hilarious. anyway i refuse to let that happen ever again AFLKEFJKAJ #so sake's the call. i think. idk we'll see what my wallet thinks cause the sake is a lil pricier than the soju.. #it a special occasion live a little. is what ill tell myself ☠️

[claitea]

i played bw and bw2 a Decade ago so ofc i've forgotten a lot of details. one thing i forgot till last night was that n's encounter theme changes to something so much happier and whimsical in 2 and i am. dying about it

#clai speaks #someone made a remaster and i've just been listening to that on loop this morning #just!!!! augh its so DELIGHTFUL the original and the sequel's version so perfectly encapsulate n's arc #the sequel's makes me think of carnivals. wonder if that was intentional bc n likes ferris wheels so maybe he likes theme parks as a whole #it also sounds like it would be a good first town theme to me. or maybe second town? #also like. the first one sounds like a music box but creepy #n was not allowed to grow as a person and his childlike innocence was twisted for ghetsis's gain #while the second version is still rather light and childlike but in a much nicer way #that innocence is his best quality and despite it all he could keep that pure heart and move on with his life...... waugh #coupled with the fact that in his battle sprite he's smiling SO big in bw2. auaghagahgah he's so much happier and i'm happy for him!!!!! #this is not new i know 267357463 people have probably said this before but like. i did not remember this till last night #i cant keep putting my n rambles in my discord chat none of them have played pokemon except one #who only played sun sword and legends arceus HJWVRHVFHF #i should just replay black 2...... aughhhh i miss unova i miss it so much. talk to me about unova and n and everything i beg you

[sexynetra]

i found lots of symone pics as i searched for gettyimages gigi so !! here is a delivery of gettyimages symone straight to your door :)

This is so huge for me wowie wow wow what a day what a celebration!

Her face? Her legs? Her understanding of her body??? She’s everything to me and I never even expected to care about her when I started the season 😭

#I appreciate this so much #you single-handedly are saving my Covid experience #I watched all of s13 last night while fighting off an almost 103 degree fever just because symone was the only thing I could think about #that might pull me out of a panic #tmi but alas #she’s just so good #and so pretty #I remember when I started s13 I was like okay I know that symone wins so I’m gonna root for someone who isn’t symone bc she’s too obvious #and then like. two episodes in I went. damn. symone really is the only option actually. she’s SO good #symone my beloved I will write you into a story one day I promise #symone #ask #asks #thecollectionsof #house of Avalon #also I’m so glad that my best friend has good taste in drag queens like I knew I picked good friends when she gushed with me about symone #among all my other favorite queens of course #she knew I would never speak to her again if she didn’t fall in love with jaida #and she actually liked Anetra before I did isn’t that crazy #anyways tag rambles over I love u and ur asks

[liebelesbe]

listening to adventure time songs... I never actually watched it bc I didn't have a way to watch it as a 12 year old in germany which is when I somehow stumbled upon the songs on youtube and me and my one friend (crush before I realized I could get crushes on girls) were sooo into the songs and would write them on each others arms... I miss her :'(

#we're still kiiiiiiind of friends? like we didn't fight or anything and we'll still wave at each other and talk if we see each other #but we haven't really talked and/or hung out in years and I MISS HER we were such good friends #one of the best friends I've ever had tbh and I just never made new friends while she's constantly posting on ig #about her friend group that's constantly hanging out and doing cool things.. #and I'm just here like haha remember when we were 12 and besties... and I never moved on from then and wish nothing had ever changed? :^) #would it be weird to text her 'Listening to Oh Fiona from Adventure Time and thinking of you and missing you and feeling sad' #yes it would be so I'm not doing it </3 #doddie redet #ANYWAYS good night 🌃

[delusional-mishaps]

got struck by inspo for the soldier/poet/king au in form of poems the poet would write about the soldier and im

theyre basically writing fanfiction in poem format about their forbidden love why are they doing this... poet i hate you..

#soldier poet king au #spkau #IDONT EVEN LIKE PORMS #WHY AM I WRITING THEM #i got possessed by the poet #the longing is real #oh to be a silly poet/bard in love with the king's best soldier #forbidden to love you but doing it anyway #these probably arent even good i havent wrote a poem since 9th grade when we had to do it for an assignement in english class #i was knees feep in the marvel fandom at the time so all my poems revolved around that #i remember i die something with the infinity stomes and it was so bad #i think i got a 70 smth in the assignment tho idk #i remember staying up all night the night before outting it together LMFAO #jesters ramblings

[nowendil]

this year really kicked off with grief huh

#nowe talks #cw animal death #as some of you may remember my sweet old lady dog pulmu died last month #and yesterday our family's other dog Milli had to be put to sleep too. less than a month after Pulmu #i'm just so heartbroken. like it will be okay and i knew it was going to happen someday because Milli was old too (13) but it was so sudden #i wasnt prepared for her to go already #the house is so empty without them. #Milli's death was a bigger blow for my mother than me because she was her dog. like Her Dog. Milli loved her so so so much. #like they were best friends. and my mom had so many routines built around Milli (and Pulmu too) #i know she can tale care of herself but i still worry #and i grieve and i grieve and i grieve #it's 5 am and i have been awake flr like an hour crying about it. i habe had it up to here with grief #i just hope she's alright wherever she is. i hope both of them are #good night sweet angel <3 thank you for everything

[lunar-years]

Teardrops on My Guitar is seriously one of my all time favorite Taylor Swift songs except ONLY the red tour surprise version

No exaggeration this changed lives (mine). I come back to it all the time.

#it used to be kind of a meh song to me. then I heard THIS version. #not even joking I think this is in my top ten Taylor performances of all time #I can’t believe this is the best recording we have…. #need her to put this version on #red tour era was such a fun time to be a tumblr swiftie I remember coming on here every night to see what the surprise song was #and freaking out when it was a good one #cold as you night also changed lives #debut tv #Taylor Swift

[yardsards]

every couple of months i rediscover exactly how much i love tea and go through a period of almost a week wherein i drink multiple mugs a day of it, only to forget again after that

#eliot posts #i love Warm Beveridge #and i have a big stash of tasty flavoured teas and herbal teas/tisanes #but also sometimes just a big rich mug of black tea is the best #i tend to like my black tea quite bittersweet #like super duper strong and a bit oversteeped (and no milk. milk makes it bland and sad) #but with a good amount of sugar #like 3 or 4 cubes of it #in a big ole 16 ounce mug not a lil teacup mind you. i think that much in a teacup would kill me dead. but still quite sweet. #i liked it even sweeter than that as a child (but just as strong and bitter) #prolly should've suspected i had adhd when sometimes mugs of fully caffeinated black tea helped me sleep #i had like. chronic sore throats/tonsilitis for a few years as a child #and my mother's go-to home remedy for sore throats was tea with honey and some toast #which i found to be absolutely delicious #(i liked to sometimes dip my toast in my tea tho and looking back ew i do not think i would like doing that now) #sonetimes i'd complain abt my throat even when it wasn't bothering me much bc i wanted The Tasty Snack at night #tho when i was like halfway through elementary school she showed me how to make it myself so i would quit asking her #and on one hand it was nice that i could have it without having to ask #and making it gave me an excuse to go downstairs after my bed time instead of being trapped in my room w my insomnia #but also i remember missing the feeling of being taken care of (which. being taken care of was a rare commodity in that house)