#good night to ethanvic bisexuals beardiano whores and people who want to share a blunt with thomas <3

[vicsdeangelis]

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#that post i reblogged earlier about fat people who read self insert fics and having to read stuff about stealing your s/o's clothes #and all that when you know that just. it just wouldn't happen to you. like we could have a conversation about how the 'reader' is pretty #much always imagined and written as a white skinny girl but that's not the point i'm trying to make here #i'm actually not trying to make any point at all. it's just. that post came to mind again now and i thought if i should maybe try writing #out my current personal daydream storyline. it's just very self indulgent and full of self loathing so idk. idk #i just don't feel like writing anything right now. specially not smut because i've been feeling idk too ugly for it #i know it makes no damn sense but that's how my stupid brain works. i cringe at myself writing smut when i don't feel good about #my appearance. go figure. anyways i don't know. i want to write SOMETHING but nothing comes to me #i open all of my wips and i just stare at then and do nothing because my brain is empty #i don't even know what the plot would be. like i've said before my brain is all vibes no words. i hate it here #and part of the reason i want to write something so bad is because it feels like i've run out of ethan fics to read and #i'm always craving more and more of it. so like. create what you want to see and shit #but ugh i hate my brain #and i hate my former psychiatrist and my current neuropsychologist cuz now idk wtf is wrong with my brain and i'm not being medicated #for add anymore which. i AM feeling a difference. it was way easier to at least try to write then. but now there's just nothing #or when there is something it's just the absolute worse thing i've ever read and i feel stupid #this went way off the rails so i'm gonna stop bere #good night to ethanvic bisexuals beardiano whores and people who want to share a blunt with thomas <3