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hymn2000 · 5 years

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Hope I’ve Got Something To Lose - MCU AU fanfic - C20

Story overview: Peter has an accident, and Tony makes a drastic decision. In the midst of everything, a face from the past reappears - but Peter isn’t too sure about reconnecting after everything that’s happened.

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

Part of my irondad and spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: injury, hospital stuff, hurt/comfort, mental health stuff, family stuff, corporal punishment, friendship

You can also find me on AO3

Random add-on: By some mad coincidence by way of my mix on youtube, I ending up listening to There’s A Kind Of Hush by The Carpenters while I wrote the Liz+Peter scene, so if you want a soundtrack for the end, there you have it

Chapter 20 - Me and You

Peter slept peacefully. He woke up in the morning feeling rested and content.

“So, was an argument all you needed to get all the nightmare stuff out of your system?” Liz asked at breakfast.

“Uhhh, I don’t really think that’s how it works” Peter said.

“You did sleep better last night though, didn’t you? Something must have helped”

“Yeah...” Peter looked over at Flo, who was talking to Tony over by the fridge. “I- uh... I slept in my parents bed last night”

He could feel himself turning red. Liz blinked a bit.

“Oh” she said.

“You think I’m a big baby, don’t you?”

“Oh yes, definitely” she smiled at him. “Well, if it helps, there’s nothing wrong with that. I just can’t imagine crawling in with mine”

“Mm. I never usually have nightmares if I’m next to people”

“When did you realise that one?”

“...Some time after the accident. I used to be able to sleep better during the day, too. Without the nightmares” Peter shook his head. “So, what do you want to do today?”

“Relax. Let’s spend the day by the sea. Didn’t your parents say we’re here for sea air? Let’s make the most of it while we can”

Somehow, they managed to while a full day away on the beach. It was hot, and they were happy enough splashing about in the sea and then lounging about reading afterwards. They had a few little breaks to go and get ice creams, and then up to the chippy for lunch later on.

Tony joined them some time in the afternoon, and they had a mad game of tag (Tony wisely spurned Flo’s suggestion of Stuck In The Mud). While they were running about, Tony couldn’t help imagining having a little toddler tottering about with them, and Loki joining in and giving the little kid the upper hand in every game. It was a dream that was starting to feel like a reality already. Tony was happy. He caught hold of Peter and kissed his neck and tickled his tummy, making the boy squeak and laugh and wriggle. Tony loved hearing him laugh, seeing him smile. Seeing him happy. That was the way he should always be.

“Can you believe this our fifth night here?” Peter said, sitting cross-legged on the bed while Tony got ready for bed.

“It’s gone so quickly” Tony said. “It’ll be sad to go home”

“Yeah, it will. I like it here. I’m getting used to it. I think the salty taste on my lips is permanent now. I like being by the sea”

“Me too, kiddo” he paused, looking at Loki and sighing sadly. “Poor daddy. He loves the sea too, and he’s basically missed out on half the holiday”

“He’ll be better tomorrow. He’ll be up and about, you’ll see”

“I hope so” Tony said, climbing into bed and pulling Peter close, tucking the covers round them. “You wore yourself out today”

“It was a pretty active day” Peter said. “It was good though”

“You’ve been fighting sleep since about half five. Time to settle down now, pet”

“Ok” Peter nodded, cuddling close. “Goodnight, dad”

“Goodnight, son”

Peter was right, to an extent. When he and the girls got back to the house the next evening, they found Loki sat in the kitchen with Tony, nursing a mug of tea.

“Daddy! You’re up!”

Loki put his mug down so his drink wouldn’t spill when Peter bounded over and jumped into his lap.

“Are you getting better now?” Peter asked, hugging him tight.

“I think so” Loki said, giving Peter a hug and kissing his cheek. “I’m getting there”

“Good” Peter said. “I want you to come out with us”

“Not today, pet. Maybe tomorrow, if I’m up to it”

Peter pouted, but didn’t push him. Loki picked his mug back up, taking a drink.

“What did you get up to today?”

“We’ve just been messing about on the beach, mostly, and looking in the shops again” Peter said, omitting the fact they’d also been climbing on the rocks.

“Ah, how lovely. You’ve been swimming, haven’t you?”

“Well. Paddling” Peter said. “But the waves were pretty big, so we got wet”

“I thought as much: I could taste the salt on you, and I can smell it, too”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It’s not a bad thing” Loki said, tipping the boy off his lap. “Go and spend some time with your friends”

“We’ve been together all day!” Peter protested. “Can’t I stay with you for a bit?”

“I love you, darling, but you’re too energetic for me right now. Run along”

Peter looked at Tony for help. Tony shrugged.

“Better do as you’re told, pet”

Flo pushed a postcard at Peter, and another one at Liz.

“Can you write on these?” she asked.

“What do you want us to write?” Peter asked.

“Anything. Just anything” Flo said. “Maybe... Write it as though I’m not here, and you’re sending it to me. Or something. I don’t know”

Peter and Liz looked at each other, and shrugged.

“Have you got a pen?”

They both had a think, and then set to writing. Liz looked at the picture of seals on her postcard.

Dear Flo,

It’s a shame we didn’t get to see any seals, considering all the signs saying to look out for them! Maybe it’s the wrong time of year - or maybe we’re just unlucky! It’s been fun hanging out with you this week. I can see why Peter likes you.. and Loki and Tony. I think I’ll miss you when I go back home. We’ll have to stay in touch!

Love from Liz xx

Peter looked at the picture of the seafront on his postcard.

Dear Flo,

Remember that text you sent me, promising salty kisses? Liar.

I’m joking; I don’t mind. Thanks for being here. It’s good being able to hang out with you in a completely different setting. I can’t believe that you’d never been to England before, when you grew up in so much money and went on holidays so often. Still, you’ve been now, so you can tick it off the list. Millie knows, but Macy’ll probably go mad when she finds out. You know what she’s like.

Lots of love, Peter xxx <3

Flo looked at Liz and Peter, talking quietly beside her, and Tony, scrolling on his tablet on the armchair.

“I’m tired” she said. “Is it ok if I have an early night?”

Tony looked up. “Sure. You don’t have to ask”

“Thank you” she gave Peter and Liz a hug, and then got up.

“Goodnight, Flo”

“Night, Peter” she paused by Tony’s chair, and then hugged him too.

Tony hugged her back. “Goodnight, Flopsy. See you in the morning”

Flo knocked on the master bedroom door, and pushed it open. Loki was just in his towel, having only just gotten out of the bath.

“Oh, it’s you” he said, sitting down on the bed. “Everything ok?”

“I was wondering if you’d do something for me”

Loki gestured to the space beside him on the bed, and she sat down obediently.

“What have you got there?”

Flo showed him the postcard and pen in her hands. “I’ve always bought lots of postcards on holiday, ever since I was a tiny girl”

“I’m a bit of a one for postcards, too” Loki said. “Back when Tony and I first got together, and I was still living with my brother, he used to send me postcards every time he went away, even if he was only gone for one night. I’ve still got them all in a shoe box somewhere. I buy my own everywhere I go now, too”

“That’s so cute” she looked at her hands, and the postcard. “Ever since I was tiny, whenever I went on holiday with my dad, he’d always take one of my postcards and write on it, even though we were both there together. He always put how old I was at the time on them. I’ve got them all in a photo album, and I like looking through them, seeing how the way he talked changed through the years. I like looking at them when I’m sad, because then I can remember all those good moments. Do you understand?”

“I do” Loki said. “I’ve never met your father. Is he nice?”

Flo nodded. “He’s lovely. You might like him. I think Tony definitely would. He’s an architect, and he loves the Stark Industry stuff, even though it’s outside of his remit”

“What about your mother?”

Flo was quiet for a moment. “She doesn’t like me much”

“What? Now, I’m sure that’s not true” Loki said. “Everyone likes you. Why wouldn’t she?”

“I’m not like her. I think that’s always annoyed her a bit. Dad said we never really got time to bond. She went away when I was little”

“I see”

“No you don’t” Flo looked at him. “She got cancer, when I was small. Too small to remember. She went away and lived with her parents. She took my sister, but left me with dad. It took her a long time to fight it. She didn’t come home until I was nearly five, but we used to visit. I was different from her even back then. She blamed my dad”

“Different how?”

“Well. I know it sounds silly, but different in how I dress, and the things I like. She didn’t like it when I showed up in frilly dresses and pink. She was always trying to put me in dungarees and little jeans and stuff, but I never liked it. It still annoys her now that I don’t wear that kind of thing. She’s always been a tomboy, as long as I can remember, and definitely before. She likes that, she wants me to be the same. But I like dresses... She doesn’t like my personality either”

“What’s not to like? You’re a lovely girl. And you certainly know how to keep people in order”

“I don’t think so” Flo said. “She says I’m too polite and timid. I think she always wanted feisty kids”

“What’s your sister like?”

“Well, she’s like my mothers mini-me. She’s older, she’s nearly thirty, so she doesn’t live with us anymore. I don’t see her very often, but we Skype. But she’s definitely way more like mother. I think she was my mothers vision, her dream child, and then I was... me”

Loki put an arm round her shoulders.

“I love my sister, but it’s annoying sometimes, because she can do no wrong, and I can do no right”

“Believe me, Flo, I know exactly what it’s like to live in someone’s shadow. Just count yourself lucky you’re not closer in age. My brother and I were constantly compared. In that mans eyes, I can still do no right. You learn not to care. Or at least, you learn not to care so much. You can’t really change what you like, and you can only change yourself to a certain extent. If I were you, I wouldn’t bother. Your father loves you, and sometimes one parent is enough”

“Are you and your mother close?”

“Well, we were. A long time ago. I haven’t seen her for years”

“Do you mind?”

“...Sometimes” he moved his arm and carefully took the postcard and pen from her. “Right, let’s see...”

Flo,

You’ve always been the best of the bunnies. It’s been good having you around. It’s been good seeing Peter with his friends. It’s endearing. You’ll understand that if you ever have children in your life in the future.

Sorry I haven’t been around much, but my flare-ups always chose their moments (always the bad ones), and there’s not much I can do about it. I hope you’ve enjoyed your little trip anyway.

As I always tell Peter; ‘Chin up. Stiff upper lip’

Loki x

Tony watched Peter and Liz over the top of his tablet. Their heads were resting against each other, and they were holding hands. Peter had his eyes on the screen, but Liz seemed a little distracted. Quietly, he stood up and left the room.

Loki wasn’t very happy about being woken up.

“What?!” he snapped.

“I want to talk to you”

Loki scowled and sat up reluctantly, reaching for his Lucozade. “What is it?”

“I want to talk about Peter... And about Flo and Liz. And Malaki”

Loki lowered the bottle. “What about them?”

“Well... I’m not sure how to say it”

“Just spit it out, Tony: I’m too tired for your riddles”

Tony sat next to him, taking his hand. “Should we put a stop to it?”

Despite his fatigue, Loki knew what he was getting at straight away. He sighed heavily.

“Tony, you were a rich slut once too”

“Uhh, rude. I was a playboy”

“Same thing, isn’t it?”

Tony scowled, and nodded reluctantly. “Peter’s not like me. Look, I think him and Liz are getting close. I see the way she looks at him. So that might happen. But then there’s Flo, and we both know that little thing. And then there’s... Malaki”

“You really don’t like Malaki, do you?” Loki said, unable to help noticing how Tony had spat the boys name.

“No, but I can’t really stop them from being friends, can I?”

“What is it about him that’s so bad?”

“You haven’t met him properly, and you haven’t heard the things I have” Tony said. “Let’s just say, there’s a specific reason you make a kid board when you live a twenty minute drive away from their school”

“You don’t think he’s good enough for our baby, do you?”

Tony gave him a look, which confirmed his assumption. “Anyway, that’s like, nearly three people that Peter’s letting lift his shirt, and-”

“Tony, that kid is not ready for sex. Take it from me, the man of experience in frigidity. Plus, you’ve seen him with Flo: that girl’s not likely to so much as bite his neck, let alone anything else”

“What about Liz?”

“I don’t know! I barely know the girl”

“I’m just a little worried. What if someone gets hurt?”

“What if no one does? Look, it’s just kissing. Each person knows he’s kissing other people, and if they had a problem with it, they’d back out, or at least say something about it”

“I’m still not sure”

“Tony, he’s not doing any harm. He’s just - I don’t know, exploring. Just back off and leave him to it. If he needs us, he’ll make it known”

Tony sighed. “Maybe you’re right”

“Just turn a blind eye”

“I’ve got another concern”

“About?”

“Malaki”

“I see. What is it?”

“Peter doesn’t speak to him”

Loki paused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, as in the selective mutism thing? He can talk to the bunnies a bit, and he can talk to Flo completely, and Liz, for whatever reason. But Malaki? He’s never spoken a word to him, and I know that for a fact. What does that tell you?”

“Tony” Loki sighed. “We both know his mutism doesn’t make sense. There was a time he couldn’t even talk to Happy and Pepper, but he’s always been able to talk to some of your Avenger friends”

“Nat and Bruce and Thor, and Clint. He’s not met Wanda yet...” Tony sighed. “Ok, so he can usually talk on the home front nowadays, and he’s better in most situations. It’s just school and parties really, isn’t it?”

“Mostly. He’s come a long way. Maybe it’s just the school thing”

“But he sees Malaki outside of school too, and-”

“Tony, what exactly is it that you want me to do?” Loki interrupted. “Peter doesn’t understand what makes him mute, so how are we supposed to? Just leave it. We can’t wrap him in cotton wool all the time”

“You’re talking about the kid who slept in our bed last night because he was scared of having another nightmare”

Loki gave him a look, looked at the wall, and then back to Tony. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

Tony sighed and gave him a quick kiss. “Sure”

Once Peter was fast asleep, Tony carefully lifted him up and took him to his own room. He tucked him in carefully, and left him to rest.

Peter awoke with a gasp, his heart thudding. Tears sprung to his eyes, and he rolled over to go to his dad for comfort, only to find him gone. He sat up quickly, and realised where he was. He took a few deep breaths, and slipped off the bed, heading for his parents room. He tripped over a pair of shoes someone had left on the landing, and landed heavily on his hands and knees. While he was still getting over the shock of the fall, there was a creaking sound, and he froze.

“Peter?”

It was just Tony, awoken by the thud, coming to check. Peter looked up at him, and started crying properly.

“I had a bad dream-!”

Tony sighed, going over to the boy and lifting him into his arms.

“Come here, chonk” he said, holding him tight and carrying him back to the master bedroom.

“I woke up and you weren’t there”

“Shh, sh, I know. I’m sorry, chick. I thought you’d be ok in your own bed once you were asleep”

He set him down on the bed and climbed in beside him. Peter cuddled close, and Tony rubbed his back until he’d stopped crying.

“There now” Tony said once he’d gone quiet. “You’re ok. I’ve got you”

“I’m sorry..”

“I told you you shouldn’t’ve left him” Loki mumbled, making them both jump a bit.

“You’re awake!” Tony said.

“Cleverly observed” Loki held an arm out to Peter. “Come here, chick”

Peter moved over and let Loki pull him close against his chest. Tony sighed, and cuddled up with them. Loki opened one eye to look at him. He wrinkled his nose as Tony kissed him on it.

“Love you”

Loki sighed, resting a hand on Tony’s arm. “Love you too”

After another full day, incorporating another train trip and another look round all the shops, Peter, Liz, and Flo sat on a wooden landing stage, watching the water bubble through the cracks of the wood as the waves receded into the ocean.

“I don’t want to go home” Peter said, breaking the silence.

“This week has gone so quickly” Liz said.

“Tony did say it was only going to be a little trip” Flo said. She sighed. “I don’t want to go home either”

“Can’t you convince your dad to extend the trip?” Flo tried.

Peter shook his head. “He has to get back: he’s got a big press conference in a few days”

“What time are we leaving tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll ask dad later”

“We’ll arrive earlier” Flo said. “New York is five hours ahead of here. So maybe we won’t have to leave too early”

Peter looked out at the sea, watching a cargo ship in the distance making its way across the horizon. He always hated the last evening of a trip: it was always so melancholy. He jumped as someone suddenly had their hands over his eyes.

“Guess who?” A familiar voice said.

Peter wriggled away and twisted round to see. “Dad! You made it!”

Loki sat down, pulling the boy onto his lap. “I said I would”

“Where’s other dad?”

“Buying me an ice cream. He’ll be here in a minute”

Peter relaxed against Loki’s chest. “Do you know what time we’re leaving tomorrow?”

“Well, Tony said our flight isn’t until midday, but it’s a few hours drive to the airport, so probably around eight, half-eight”

“Ok, let me work this out” Peter said. “So, leave at eight, flight at twelve, nine hour flight...So we’ll get back at nine in the evening English time, so... four in the afternoon in New York time?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, that way we can drop you girls off at your respective residences before we go home”

“Can’t we leave later and have them stay the night at ours?”

Loki laughed slightly. “No, darling. You know what your dad’s like the first night back after a trip. Besides, I’m not one hundred per cent myself. It’s been a fight enough getting out here”

Peter sighed, resting his head back against Loki’s shoulder.

“That was a tragic little sound, chick”

“He doesn’t want to go home” Liz said, taking Peter’s hand. “None of us do”

“I take it you’ve enjoyed yourselves this week, then?” Tony said, appearing behind them.

“Oh yes, definitely” Flo said.

“Good” Tony said, squeezing in between her and Loki and handing Loki the Mr Whippy he held.

“Thanks, chick” Loki said, moving Peter a little so he could eat.

Peter peered up at him. “Two flakes?! No fair!”

“Hey, this is only my third ice cream of the week. I was expecting lots more, so I think I deserve two flakes as compensation”

Peter pouted, but nodded. “Yeah, ok, I’ll give you that”

“So, what happens tomorrow?” Liz said.

“Well, I want you to get the vast majority of your packing done tonight” Tony said. “That way we can get ready to go quickly in the morning. Get up, have breakfast, tidy and pack up the house, drive to the airport, get on the plane, probably sleep for most of the flight. Land, drop you girls off, go home, sleep. Or something like that”

“I want to stay” Flo said.

“I know, pet. I do too” Tony said. He noticed Liz. “Liz? What’s the matter?”

“I don’t want to go back. I’ll be going back to Oregon not long after we get back”

“I thought you were staying for ages!” Peter said.

“Well, we’ve been in New York for a while now. Mum texted me the other day saying we’ll be going back sooner than planned”

Despite himself, Peter’s eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t want you to go. Not now we’re friends”

“I’ll miss you too” Liz said. “We can stay in touch, though. I’ll make sure to give you my address, then we can write to each other too”

“Like those pen pals you see on Instagram?”

Liz smiled. “Definitely”

Flo, ever the organised one, finished packing first. She helped Liz finish, and then decided on an early night. Liz wasn’t ready to call it a night yet. She went downstairs first, where Tony was sorting out the kitchen while Loki sat on the unit drinking tea. They both looked up when she came into the kitchen.

“Hey Liz” Tony said. “You on your own?”

“Yeah, Flo’s gone to bed. She’s tired”

“Bless. Well, an early night is probably a good idea, even though we’re not leaving stupidly early, and we’ll have loads of time to sleep on the plane”

“I think she’s just ready to say goodbye to the holiday” Loki said.

“Where’s Peter?” Liz asked. “I thought he was down here”

“He’s in his room, pet” Tony said. “I think he’s feeling a bit sad. He might appreciate a bit of company”

Peter was packing halfheartedly, feeling very glum indeed. He managed to offer Liz a slight smile when she came into the room. She sat down shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m sad”

“About leaving?”

Peter nodded. “And about you”

“You’ve still got Flo, and that boy. And those other girls. And probably a whole lot more besides” Liz said. “You’ll still have me, too. You’ve got my number, and I’ll write, like I said. All old-fashioned, like. We’ll see each other again some time”

“I hate it when good things end”

Liz put her arms round him, rubbing his arm firmly. Peter leant into her.

“I bet this isn’t what you expected when we bumped into each other on the street”

“No” Liz said. “It’s better”

Peter looked at her. Liz kissed him on the cheek. Peter stayed where he was. Liz slowly moved her hand, slipping it under his shirt and resting it on his tummy.

“Do these scars still hurt?”

“No. They’ve been healed for a while now...”

He could feel his face flushing. He liked the feel of her. He liked being close to her. She was looking into his eyes. They were close again. Very close. Peter’s heart was thudding. He knew this feeling. He knew what was going to happen. Liz kissed his cheek again, ever so gently. Peter put a hand on her arm, holding her tight, trying to calm his nerves. She kissed him again, just at the corner of his mouth. There was a pause, and she did it again. Peter let his eyes close. He wanted this. He could feel the heat of her, and he took a deep breath. This was it, finally. One more kiss to the corner of his mouth, and-

“Peter! Do you want a drink?”

Liz and Peter sprung apart at the voice, jumping when the door opened. Loki took one look at their flushed faces, and turned his head slightly, looking at them incredulously.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Liz and Peter shook their heads. Loki gave them a look which clearly said he didn’t believe them.

“Tea?” he said.

Peter nodded. “Sure...”

“Liz?”

Liz nodded. “Thanks...”

“Ok. Pop down in a minute or two”

He left, and Liz and Peter slowly looked at each other. They sighed and exchanged little sad smiles. It was the beach with Flo all over again. The moment had gone.

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson #*does your mother know by abba starts playing*#three chapters in three days!! incredible!#I'm so proud

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