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“That sort of thing doesn’t happen any more,” reiterated Wensleydale, the rational thinking person. “‘Cos we invented Science and all the vicars set fire to the witches for their own good. It was called the Spanish Inquisition.”

“Then I reckon we should find out if her at Jasmine Cottage is a witch and if she is we should tell Mr. Pickersgill,” said Brian. Mr. Pickersgill was the vicar. Currently he was in dispute with the Them over subjects ranging from climbing the yew tree in the churchyard to ringing the bells and running away.

“I don’t reckon it’s allowed, going round setting fire to people,” said Adam. “Otherwise peopled be doin’ it all the time.”

“It’s all right if you’re religious,” said Brian reassuringly. “And it stops the witches from goin’ to Hell, so I expect they’d be quite grateful if they understood it properly.”

“Can’t see Picky setting fire to anyone,” said Pepper.

“Oh, I dunno,” said Brian, meaningfully.

“Not actually setting them on actual fire,” sniffed Pepper. “He’s more likely to tell their parents, and leave it up to them if anyone’s goin’ to be set on fire or not.”

The Them shook their heads in disgust at the current low standards of ecclesiastical responsibility.

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