Sword Fight - Humans are Weird
(Not my Picture)
Humans are odd: Every alien of every species knows that- they have odd heads that seem to move 180 degrees, they can fold in half by bending something called knees, and on top of it all, they seem almost invulnerable to everything! The ISIP, or Inter-Species Inclusion Program, had officially agreed for a trial run of allowing a select amount of humans to join ships during flights and missions. The Yohgar was one of the selected ships to house a set of humans, four to be exact, Human Cross, Human Wilhelm, Human Sephara, and Human Reenee were the first to be allowed to join the entirely Eyexan crew, not because Eyexans were xenophobic, but their bodies and anatomy were difficult adapt to, their ships were designed in specific ways that made it hard for other species to survive- the humans though, were quick to adapt during the trial period of their stay.
Though the Eyexans were not opposed to having humans aboard, it was still a difficult time for them all- both human and Eyexans. They all tended to avoid each other when possible at first, before one human or another would join in on conversations, and eventually they all would start to join together, finding common ground, and working together during missions. Eyexans didn't celebrate their new Solar year, or "birthdays" as humans did, so they learned the custom of shoving good covered in burning sticks into other humans faces, and doing an odd humming sound in celebration, as well as the giving of gifts was customary. The Humans learn of the celebration of Jfias, the creation of the Eyexans' entire being, and the traditional dances and fights they have. The thing that sticks out most to the Eyexans, is the celebration of a baby born many centuries ago, called "Christmas".
The humans spend many weeks in Yhoun, decorating The Yohgar in shiny balls of light on strings, and putting up a "tree" in the mess hall, with more tiny balls of lights, strings of "popcorn" and false fruits of "cranberries", and even little "ornaments" of different materials, shapes, and sizes. They even offer to teach the crewmembers how to make some to add to the tree. Lots of times that strange humming sound, "singing" can be heard around this time, and wrapped gifts pile up under the tree. More than once a pair of humans, or Eyexans are stuck under this parasitic plant called Mistletoe, where the humans insist on kissing, or insist that the Eyexans must touch ridges, then tease them about it in good nature.
But perhaps the most strange thing of all, is when human Sephara runs into the mess with long tubes in her arms, and shouts "I have finished the wrapping paper!" causing the other humans to let out large hoots, jumping up from their table to snatch a tube from her. Then it seems, a war has broken out between the humans, tubes smacking against each other, grazing one another as the four humans move about the mess, shouting and jeering at each other as the Eyexans watch in surprise and confusion.
"What has happened?" One of the crewmembers asks.
"Has Human Sephara instigated a war?" Another asks, narrowly missing a swipe near their head as Human Cross jumps over them. Then suddenly there is an overexaggerated groan of defeat, making the Eyexans all turn to the sound. Human Wilhelm is on the deck, holding his stomach while Human Reenee stands above him, a bright smile on her face as the other crewmembers go silent. Did Human Reenee just kill Human Wilhelm with that strange tube? Another cry has them turning to see Human Cross had knocked Human Sephara's tube out of her hand, and he has her pinned to the wall. Was this what "Christmas" was? Battling to the death with these strange brown tubes, and the victor got all of those gifts under the "tree"? Would they be expected to take part as well?
As if expecting the results, Human Reenee and Human Cross turn to one another, then commence a duel with the strange tubes once more. They battle across the mess hall, climbing over chairs, dodging blows, avoiding the Eyexans with care, until Humsn Reenee over powers Human Cross, sending his tube flying, and he drops to his knees in defeat. The Eyexans watch with held breathes, until Humsn Reenee jabs Human Cross in the chest, and he falls over in an exaggerated fashion, groaning as he hits the deck.
The Eyexans watch in shock, unclear of what to do, or say, until, to their immense surprise, the other humans start laughing, all standing up while perfectly fine, and the Eyexans explode into confusion, demanding answers. Human Ctoss just laughs and says "it's a paper tube. We were pretending to fight." Stunninh the Eyexans to silence.
Yes, the saying is true: Humans are odd.
478 notes · View notes
WHEELY RACES - Humans are Weird
(NOT MY GIF)
You must take special care to make sure your humans are not bored, when not on duty. They will find someway to entertain themselves, and it is not always a good way. The Xiran Captain discovers this first hand, when the entirety of the ship's desk chairs go missing, along with a whole requisition of tape- such a handy thing that the humans have invented. Next the captain notices a distinct lack of shiny gold and silver objects, and any blue, red, or green materials around the ship, though they aren't quite sure why. Perhaps the human is fixing something, that requires these objects? Or building something again?
The Xirans start to come to them with mentions of their group of humans excluding them from something, drawing away from the crew, and that almost sends them into a tizzy. Their wings buzz at the speed they are flicking, anger and worry boiling within them. It can only be an uprising, they are going to mutany, and take over the ship, perhaps kill the Xirans. After all of their time together, their missions, learning so much about each other's cultures- Human John had even entered a relationship with one of the Xirans, and now he would betray them?
The Xirans are on edge, waiting for the mutany, the rebellion, the betrayal for days on end. Nothing more disappears to the Captain's notice, though they are aware of the human keeping to their own group in their species. Humans are strong, indestructible, the Captain knows that they would not win a battle on their ship, the humans- though a small group- would easily overpower them in a matter of minutes, and there is nothing they could do about it. It is like the first few months on the ship all over again, the humans sticking together, while the Xirans watch in fear and skepticism.
The day finally comes when something changes, during this time the Captain had requested a mission, perhaps landing on a hostile planet where they must work together again, will make the humans realize their error. Perhaps it will help them tell the Xirans what they have done to offend them. Perhaps they would change their minds, and not mutany. Human Felicity seems to been in charge, despite her lower rank and age to the others, having been the one that the Captain overhears telling the other humans that their plan was to be out into action before the mission started. The Xirans that learned of this became nervous, their crests of their heads fluttering up and down as they wander the ship, nervous for when the humans and their obviously makeshift weapons will appear.
The Captain nearly faints at the sound of the scream that comes from the hall, their seven legs scrambling a ross the metal floors as quickly as possible to reach a hall, only for something to zoom past it, nearly missing them. The sound of another scream has the Captain flattening itself down against the warm floor, something flying over them with a sharp speed, and then the Xiran recognizes something- a sound they covered in human train at basic, something that humans make when they are extremely happy sometimes- laughter. The humans are laughing.
Some of his fellow Xirans join him as the sound of laughter and cheering comes from around a large bend in the ship, and what they see there surprises them all. All of the office chairs are housing humans, who are on their knees on them, and they are all racing down the hall to their glee and delight. The captain sees the lines of tape down the walkway, a few inches from the walls, and another strip of tape has spread from one wall to another down at the very end. "They are "racing" I believe John called it." The Xiran that Human John is in a relationship informs the captain. "Human Felicity came up with it, when the humans were all bored." Human Kaid is the first to touch the tape at the very end, their eyes bright as Human Felicity steps up to drape a small token around his neck. The token is a mesh of gold items that have gone missing on the ship, and a green band is tied around Human Kaid's forehead. Human John has a red band around his forehead, while Human Felicity places the made of a mesh of missing silver items around his neck. He notices that Human Felicity is wearing a blue band, but around her wrists, perhaps to mark a different position than the other humans?
"Zigan!" Human Felicity calls as she waves them over, the familiarity of their name makes them happy, only the Humans don't call them Captain, just his name. Walking over skeptically, as if expecting a trap, the smaller human woman spreads her lips, pulling them back over the outcropping of her bones, a "grin" is directed at them. "Zigan, would you like to race next round?"
"Race?" Zigan asks.
"Yes, we sit on the chairs, and the first one through this tape," She points to the tape that human John and Human Kaid are putting up. "wins a shiny token." She points to the tokens around the other humans' necks. "It is fun."
"Fun? Fun? So, you being sneaky cause you wanted to do this?" Zigan blinks their beady orange eyes at this human.
"We wanted to surprise everyone, but we have a mission soon, so we put it together today. That was a test run." She holds up her strange pale limbs. "I am the judge, I wear these." The blue on her wrist makes sense to him now. "Racers wear these," She points to the bands that humans John and Kaid have on. "I made them, made some for Xirans too." She says.
"Fun?" Zigan asks once more as she nods. So, they weren't about to rebel, or kill the Xirans, they were planning a game for them all! Zigan's crest gives a large heave, equivalent to a human's large sigh, and she smiles once more at the Captain.
"Race?" She asks hopeful.
"Show one more time, then race?" Zigan asks carefully, and she nods, the sharp jerk of her neck startles them, never getting used to how much the humans can move as Humans John and Kaid push the office chairs away from the starting line, and Zigan moves to stand and watch the two of them race on the chairs down the hall towards them again. Zigan joins them next, then more Xirans, and more, until the entire crew is racing and having 'fun', the mission and worries quickly forgotten as the humans laugh, and the Xirans chitter in happiness.
So, don't leave your humans bored. Make sure they are properly entertained, or they will take matters into their own hands. And bring everyone else with them.
Zigan closes the document of what happened, chittering at the memory as it is sent off to HQ. The final sentence in the report reads:
Still don't know enough about the humans, will continue to study and be friends. - Zigan.
209 notes · View notes