Tumgik
#goopy mage boy <3
bugsontoastt · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
penumbra, my beloved
7 notes · View notes
itssuppertim3 · 3 years
Note
How would the husbands react if the LDB wanted to introduce them to their parents?
Skyrim Husbandos Meeting the Folks:
Just to clarify! Usually all of my fics are written with a female reader unless requested otherwise! I apologize if you meant for it to be a gender neutral headcanon ;-;
--------------------------------------------
Ulfric Stormcloak: Preps his hair a few too many times. You're the Dragonborn. Such a gorgeous and powerful woman must have parents kin to deities! He'll have to make sure the meeting goes without a single flaw if he wishes to impress them.
He'll be even more anxious if they're supporters of the Empire. Gods, they'll despise him! You know that dinner scene in Shrek 2? That's pretty much how he'll expect it to go. But don't worry. In reality, he learns that your parents happily accept him as their son-to-be. (Forgive him if he gets political)
Veezara: He's a bit surprised by your invitation. If anything, he didn't expect you to even be in contact with your family due to your, ahem, unflattering occupation. Nevertheless, he feels more than honored to meet them.
His outfit choice will be his usual Brotherhood armor, to which you hastily advice him to think a bit longer on the matter. The next issue will be whether or not he should strap a dagger in his boot. "Just in case," he says. Veezara is actually very charismatic with your parents, despite the fact that he's never really had any. But soon enough, he'll come to treasue them as if they were.
Argis the Bulwark: Gods above, he'll love your folks more than a child loves sweetrolls. If the two of you aren't busy, he'll make a request to go visit them. It takes no time at all for your housecarl to immediately feel a part of the family, and he will brag frequently about you, as will they. In the end, the three of them are just sitting in front of the hearth, speaking nothing but pure love and adoration for you.
If Argis had to take a survey concerning his favorite things, it would most likely be structured like this:
My Favorite Things: -Y/n -Y/n's parents -everything Y/n likes -beef roast
Teldryn Sero: Much like Ulfric, he's also very nervous believe it or not. Teldryn is convinced that he's lacking in the career department, and he expects your parents to be underwhelmed once meeting him. The last thing he wants is to disappoint your family by admitting that he's just your average mercenary who used to drink himself sour in a sleezy inn every day.
He's a bit, I dare say, timid upon first greetings. For the most part, he'll let you do all of the talking until the conversation finally steers in his direction. He swears he can feel his heart rest at ease when your parents take a huge liking to his work. He deeply respects your father, and your father respects him all the same. Meanwhile, your mother is busy flashing you giddy looks as she whispers, "such a handsome man, he is!"
Ancano: He's very curious to say the least. He's well aware of the existence of your parents, for you speak about them quite often to him. In reality, he can't help but feel a bit of jealousy stirring in his stomach. To have people that cherish him deeply has been a secret desire of his since childhood.
Your parents are a bit astounded by your taste in men. They might exchange a few worried glances at first, murmuring to one another if letting a Thalmor into their home is the best choice. This causes Ancano to feel disheartened, but that doubt is quickly erased after sharing a chat with them. Your parents will then apologize for their caution, and surprisingly the three of them will get along very well! On your way back to the College, he'll have a pleased smile accenting his lips.
Miraak: He's skilled at maintaining his poker face, but the anticipation is definitely eminent. In his eyes, meeting your parents is the greatest privilege he's ever been bestowed. He already has a deeply profound and complex respect for you, and now he gets to meet the very people who birthed you?! He's screaming. Inwardly, I mean.
Disclosing the topic on how you both met will certainly be interesting. He'll make it elaborate, dramatic, and overall heart-wrenching. "It all started during the era of my rebellion against the Dragon Cult..." "Do you favor the color green, Mrs. L/n? I onced favored green. And then I spent 3000 years imprisoned in a green and goopy dimension, consumed by an endless abyss of vengeance and rage." "Y/n was so beautiful upon first laying my eyes on her. She was on the floor, of course. But even still, her eyes shimmered like jewels (probably from tears of agony :3)" "Ah yes... then she beat the daylights of me and commanded me to be her pissbaby servant. Such a strong and charming woman!"
Savos Aren: Will over apply cologne for the sake of masking his natural herbal scent. He knows well how much you love the way he smells, however he kind of wants to prevent your folks from realizing just how often he spends in his garden.
He's enchanted by your parents from the start, and he simply loves them to death. Savos doesn't categorize in the "young people" flock, so it's only safe to invision three seniors chatting away over a hot brew of tea and rocking chairs. He'll mainly discuss his role as Arch Mage, along with how amazingly talented you are as both apprentice and Dragonborn. Ah, but they obviously knew that already.
Romlyn Dreth: He isn't going to charm your parents, oh no. He's going to dazzle them. He'll wear his best clothing, have his hair combed back, conjure up the best manners known to man and mer, etcetera. And when they ask what he does for a living, Romlyn with flutter out a confident chuckle before saying, "I sell good mead for cheap."
In truth, he's never been so intrigued by your personal life. He didn't even know you had parents! Boy, was he ecstatic to hear that you wanted him to meet them. He was a tad intimidated by the thought, but he became comfortable rather quickly. Sometimes, it feels as if he literally stole them from you, for he speaks with them as if he's their most treasured son!
---------------------------------------
I'll be thinking about this all night, holy shit. Thanks for a awesome request, Anon!
313 notes · View notes
clr-flr · 6 years
Text
bubbuh lol
PART 1: THE BASICS
What is your full name? Maestro Bubbuh T. Guhm PHD of Rubbishry III
Where and when were you born? I was born in a fairy circle before things got STANKY MY BOY
Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) They were hawkers. Not much to say about graves.
Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? I’m the sole special one child.
Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. I live in my machine shop, a very respectable business. I host my little robo-mate Castor in various spaces there.
What is your occupation? I’m a master-of-all trades, but I’m a specialist in weapons engineering. I can be swayed into most jobs for the right price.
Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. I’m very tall, taller in my power heels, strong and efficiently built, dirt with a bit of dried blood colored - clay maybe? I like my pauldrons sharp, my sunglasses sharp, my stilettos sharper. I’m a fan of feathering scarification. Got my hair in my top knot like the warriors in those old VHS things I’ve found. It’s hot.
To which social class do you belong? Same as everyone else in the age. Surviving.
Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? Monthly bleeding, that fucking sucks. Good for war paint, though.
Are you right- or left-handed? Left handed. Or right handed. Versatility!
What does your voice sound like? Saucy. With a hint of spice.
What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? New ways to string curses together.
What do you have in your pockets? Nutz.
Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? No, of course not. ;^m
PART 2: GROWING UP
How would you describe your childhood in general? Birds.
What is your earliest memory? Birds, big gloves, then the Big Stink.
How much schooling have you had? Not much, Big Stink happened too fast.
Did you enjoy school? I probably might’ve IF I HAD GONE.
Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? On my own, tinkering, a few mentors here and there. Pulling things apart and putting them together - experimenting - experience.
While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. Me, me and uhhhh……maybe my good old jizz lump boy.
While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Who knows? Been a while.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Fuck if I know.
As a child, what were your favorite activities? Whatever.
As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I don’t fucking remember!!
As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? Dude…Probably.
When and with whom was your first kiss? Shit…Doesn’t matter.
Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? I don’t remember that shit either. Shit don’t matter.
If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. Hah - I’m just a human. We have aliens and robots and cyborgs and radiation fuckers roaming around these days, but I’m not one of them. I’m this way because of my situation. That’s all.
PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES
What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? The end of civilization. Fuck yeah.
Who has had the most influence on you? Fuck you, me.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? Being alive.
What is your greatest regret? Pass.
What is the most evil thing you have ever done? That’s a matter of opinion…
Do you have a criminal record of any kind? In reference to what?????
When was the time you were the most frightened? When I thought I didn’t get my wings perfect on my eyeliner.
What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? Associates’ failures that make me look bad, of course.
If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I can change things now in the present, so why linger on things I can’t change??
What is your best memory? The ones I’m having now.
What is your worst memory? Worrying about potential futures.
PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS
Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? I don’t think either is necessary, or even useful. I work on a reactionary basis.
What is your greatest fear? I’d rather not divulge that. So in a way, that gives you some insight.
What are your religious views? There’s lots of spiritual uprisings these days that are pretty...interesting. But I don’t follow any.
What are your political views? Politics don’t survive here. If you mean in lawful morals - I guess I could go that oldies tabletop alignment route and say maybe a chaotic neutral.
What are your views on sex? It’s sassy.
Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? It’s always acceptable and required in a majority of cases. I won’t do in in rare exceptions when people give me a reason not to.
In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Brainwash them into false hope to drain them of their ability to fend for themselves - especially to sustain their own survival at the expense of dumbasses. I get it to an extent, but save some dumbasses for the rest of us, asshole.
Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? That survive long enough to get to that point?? Hardly.
What do you believe makes a successful life? Living.
How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? I’d like to think I’m genuine enough.
Do you have any biases or prejudices? Who has time for that, really?? It doesn’t really matter anyways. We’re all equally fucked.
Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? I refuse to be a savior or a hero to mankind. I probably could, but fuck that shit. Not my job.
Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? I dunno, a spaceship to planet of sexy aliens made to worship and bang me?? That’d be nice.
PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS
In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? I shoot first and ask questions later. If they make it past that point, they’re probably a fairly good resource of something or another. I generally treat everyone at that level the same. I guess Castor’s more like my personal butt-boy though.
Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Me, because, well, look at me.
Who is the person you respect the most, and why? Fucking look at me.
Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. Blobulon the jizz parasite is a pretty cool dude. I always forget his real name. But he’s one of the goopy parasitic aliens that helped cause the Big Stink, what a guy. We’ve known each other a while. Cactus I run into off and on. Loves drugs. Pretty reliable chemist. Castor has a nice butt and a lazy eye, other than that I can kill him with a push of a button so I have him under my heel so there’s that.
Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. Does my right hand count? Dildos. Castor’s weener and butt? If not, nope.
Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. It was a misty summer morning, I groggily rose from my bed, half nude. I stumbled into my bathroom - head pounding from the night before. Then I saw him. My reflection.
What do you look for in a potential lover? Didn’t I already describe my physical build??
How close are you to your family? I don’t remember where their bodies are dude.
Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? No because fuck that shit.
Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? My ass, it’s very wise.
Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? My vagina, it’s super flexible and strong. Kegals, bro.
If you died or went missing, who would miss you? The universe would be missing a star.
Who is the person you despise the most, and why? I don’t have time to waste thoughts and energy on useless fools.
Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? I tend to fuck them up and move on.
Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? I usually have to, but not by choice.
Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? No because of mob mentality. That shit’s rough.
Do you care what others think of you? I care about what the most important person thinks of me: my ass. He has opinions. Strong ones.
PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES
What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? I enjoy a good tinker, a good shit, sleeping upside down, anal beads, sharpening heels to a deadly point, and smacking Castor’s head so his eye falls out of place.
What is your most treasured possession? My antique hall. I collect pre-stink artifacts and refurbish them to working condition. I guess that’s my all time favorite pastime.
What is your favorite color? Who cares.
What is your favorite food? Crickets.
What, if anything, do you like to read? Anything with tanks or monkeys.
What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? I love those uh...I guess genre?? Of media...Kaiju stuff. Big monsters or robots wrecking shit or saving things. In video games, comics, movies, shows - any of it. Love it.
Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? I smoke and drink. I don’t use drugs regularly, but I use them casually. Why not?
How do you spend a typical Saturday night? When’s Saturday?
What makes you laugh? Other people’s misfortune or clumsiness.
What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Disrespect towards me specifically. Expect violence.
What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Have sex until I pass out probably.
How do you deal with stress? Just busy myself with work or go scavenge - do something productive.
Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? A little of both.
What are your pet peeves? People fucking things up for me by being idiots or directly putting my life in danger through incompetence.
PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER
Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? There’s no routine, so it’s fine.
What is your greatest strength as a person? Just one??
What is your greatest weakness? I’d say it’s actually the inability to form strong alliances. I keep people away which keeps my net from growing and it only holds me back. Oh well.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Having a dick would be nice.
Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Introverted I guess. 
Are you generally organized or messy? I’d say a weird version of organized. I like restrained clutter - it looks confusing to keep others at bay but everything does have a place.
Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. Living, being hot, and business. People, riding horses, singing.
Do you like yourself? Oh, I don’t know, take a wild guess-a-roonie.
What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…) Because if I don’t I’ll die. That’s pretty much all there is to it, I’m surviving after a huge apocalypse, if that wasn’t clear.
What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Nothing big really. Make a giant mecha I can pilot.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Even sexier than now and with bigger delts.
If you could choose, how would you want to die? Burning to death in radiation or acid.
If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Just one thing. Have sex with a man for the entire 24 hours, so long that he dies in the process. Taking you down with me baby.
What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? I climbed these garbage mountains in 7 inch heels, fuckers.
What three words best describe your personality? Bitch, Ass, Fuck.
What three words would others probably use to describe you? Prick, Dick, Dong.
If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…) Stop.
3 notes · View notes
themysterioust · 5 years
Text
Failed Strat: Infernal Garon 2
I FINALLY BEAT GARON WITH XANDER. But I didn’t get there right off the bat- this strat failed but the commentary was worth keeping imho.
Xander (+8 THIS TIME YOU ARE FUCKING GOING DOWN GOOPY) - Siegfried/Repo/Astra/TA3 + Vantage 3 + Fortify Cavalry/QR3 Seal Quan (Neutral) - Vanilla + Guard 3/Deflect Missile 3 Seal Green!Olwen (-HP/+ATK) - Vanilla except w/ Repo/Fury 3/Hone Cavalry/Threaten Res 3 Seal Veronica (Neutral) - Vanilla + atkspd1 Seal
Pos: Xander|Quan Olwen|Veronica
T1: Xander: yeah panic ploy sucks i'm gonna move -> F1 L3 -> Standby Quan: Stack up on Veronica -> Standby Veronica: Hold Position Olwen: dammit i can't 1hko that armor -> F1 R1 -> Standby
T2: Green Mage: Die to Xander Cleric: Die to Olwen Sword Inf, Lance Armor, Axe Inf: prepare for triangle attack in front of Olwen?? Garon: fucking picking his nose or someshit idk he ain't move Red Mage Cav and Bowcav: Hi we exist
T3: Quan: Kill Red Mage Veronica: Kill Bowcav Olwen: UH GUYS I'M KIND OF IN A BAD PLACE HERE I'D LIKE TO NOT DIE, PLEASE -> wait that sword inf has swordbreaker? -> /YOU/ -> remember Olwen is gravity'd and move her down 1 -> Standby Xander: okay let's try to lure swordbreaking bastard to Quan ->  D3 to Quan's left -> Standby
T4: Triangle Shit Trio: WE GON CLOBBER DAT OLWHEN Garon: apparently done fucking around now -> F2 -> Standby Red Mage, Lance Flier: c:
T5: why did i never notice that red mage had a wolftome before Olwen: time to hightail it outta the danger zone -> L1 D2 -> Standby Xander: oh boy here comes dad -> hop in front of Olwen -> Standby Veronica: Hold Position, again Quan: at last, a worthy opponent! OUR BATTLE SHALL BE LEGENDARY! -> get in range of lance flier -> remember Gae Bolg does not do shit against fliers -> pretend really really hard that flier is Travant and hope Quan's anger about that whole Yied Desert thing saves him?
T6: Lance Flier: skiddaddle skidoodle your memory of the yied massacre has made gae bolg a noodle Garon: stand there menacingly Triangle Shit Trio: UM GUYS WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOUR SQUISHIES??? HELLO??
T7: PROTECT THE SQUISHIES OH GOD OH FUCK AAAAA Olwen: oi leave my liege's dad alone you dick! -> kill lance flier -> realize now Veronica's gonna have to tank a VERY nasty hit from  a wolftome -> fuck Quan: oh hey my special's up -> if we get through this turn somehow that'll be fun! -> F1 -> Standby Veronica: lol, fuck that axe fighter -> xander gl but i think we might need to start over Xander: me? tank a WOLFTOME? with SIXTEEN RES? -> sorry ronnie hopefully your buff + a fort will keep you safe -> D2 R2 -> Repo Veronica and pray
T8: nope. k plan b time
0 notes