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#gordon in wonderland
qwakque · 6 months
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CULINARY CRUUCIBLEEE
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From One Master to Another
Part 1 (ft. Riddle and Silver) I Part 2 (ft. Trey and Kalim) I Part 3 (ft. Jade and Lilia) I Part 4 (ft. Deuce and Jamil) I Part 5 (ft. Malleus and Ruggie) | Part 6 (ft. Cater and Rook) | Part 7 (ft. Sebek and Floyd) | Part 8 (ft. Ace and Idia) | Part 9 (ft. Leona and Epel)
In which Gordon Ramsay-kun is isekai’d into Twisted Wonderland. Part Food Wars, part Hell’s Kitchen, all Master Chef—Night Raven College isn’t ready to take on this Michelin Star celebrity!!
Gordon Ramsay isn't a classically trained pastry chef; he knows the savory, not the sweet. This time, the coursework involves instruction in desserts--and he'll find that he has just as much to learn as his students, Vil and Jack, do. I conducted a lot of research for this installment (reading articles on how to ice cakes + the science behind macarons, and, of course, watching videos where GR gets humbled and learns from fellow culinary masters). It provided me with a fresh perspective to write from~
Imagine this...
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"... Jack."
"Yes, Vil-senpai?"
"What exactly am I looking at?"
Several countertops were covered in baking trays. Sugar circles sat upon waxy sheets, some collapsed and thinned out like wafers, others risen then caved in and cracked. It was an array of imperfections spanning the muted colors of the rainbow.
Jack clasped his hands behind his back, and tried to ignore the uncomfortable urge to itch the ears tucked under his hat, or to tear away the tangle of hair net containing his tail. His chef's jacket seemed to be straining to contain the entire bulk of him.
"Macarons," Jack reported.
Vil lifted a brow.
"... Er, at least they're supposed to be macarons," his underclassman awkwardly clarified.
Vil granted him a look of sympathy. "The poor things."
"W-Well, how did you do with your assignment?!" Jack stammered, eager to shift the subject. He glanced to Vil's table.
Lips pursed.
The model had gone with a light wash of makeup, simply a neutral brown gradient on his lids. His hair was arranged in a tight, tidy bun, flaxen bangs pinned back. Vil presented almost as flawless as a mirror's face—but certainly his cake didn't.
It was two layers tall (Jack had watched him saw and shape them earlier), stacked upon each other with a layer of buttercream sandwiched between them. The cake was starting to slope, as if in a desperate attempt to crawl to the exit. A coat of uneven chocolate frosting had hardened, forming odd peaks and lumps in a crust.
“That’s pretty rough.” Vil bristled at the words—sparse, yet biting. Jack continued. “How many cakes does this make, four?”
The question, unintentional needling.
“Seven,” Vil begrudgingly corrected him. Then, a small smirk formed. “And yourself? How many batches of macarons does this make?”
“Urk…!” Jack’s ears flattened, his bushy tail limp. “I guess we could both use more practice…”
“Jesus.”
The curse was spoken in a hissing whisper, emerging from neither from Vil nor Jack. It came from their teacher, an older man with weathered features—the result of wisdom and stress. He had been perched off to the side, observing his students’ skills in action, his frown seemingly ever extending as the mistakes piled up.
“Right then, maybe this isn’t working out,” Gordon Ramsay muttered, his eyes passing over a macaron graveyard and the crumbling cake mountains.
Not for lack of trying.
“Chef!” Jack immediately stood at attention. “We did our best to follow your instructions.”
“As you can see, the results were not particularly fruitful,” Vil chimed in. “We could do with additional instruction.”
Gordon startled, gaping at them. “Wait, you two want me to teach you more? You’re willing to listen?”
“Yessir!! Please guide us.”
“It’s as Jack says. We are here to learn and to enhance our culinary skillsets. We shouldn’t dawdle.” Vil narrowed his eyes. “Why do you act so surprised?”
“Can’t say this has happened very often.” Gordon stroked his chin thoughtfully. “The last time I had a pair of students this cooperative was months ago.”
“Just what exactly have the other Culinary Crucibles students put you through?” Vil angrily planted his hands on his hips. “Were Epel and Rook being disrespectful?"
Jack hesitated not wishing to speak ill of his Savanaclaw seniors. Still, it was easy for his mind to conjure the image of Ruggie swiping leftovers when no one was looking—“Free food is free food!”—and Leona yawning, mentally checked out of the situation.
"It's not hard to imagine," Jack confessed.
"They'll be getting an earful from me later!"
"Hmph, kids will be kids. I've dealt with cocky adults double their age or older acting like bigger babies. What's important is that they walked out of my kitchen better than when they first walked in."
Gordon leaned against a counter and folded his arms. Air escaped through his teeth. “Boys, I’ll be straight with you. Sweets, baking—it isn’t my specialty. I could try and teach you all bloody day and we'd still get nowhere."
“Are you serious?” Jack frowned. “So that means…”
"What I've already shown you is all I've picked up from experts back home. We've hit the ceiling."
“This can’t be!” Vil reeled, looking vaguely appalled. “If it’s come to this, then how will we possibly improve our craft?"
"I don't know."
I've never been in a kitchen where I haven't been in control.
"This is a fucking mess," Gordon groaned. I've failed my students.
“What’s with all the doom and gloom?”
Gordon bolted upright at the sudden voice.
A plump ghost manifested, suited up in a chef's jacket and hat. His face was as puffy as a marshmallows, and his belly shaking like a bowl full of jelly.
The head chef at Night Raven College.
"You fellas look like you've seen a ghost," he joked. "But never mind that. I noticed you’ve been standing around and being sad for a while now.”
“Right, that—” Gordon exchanged an anxious look with his students. He fumbled for an explanation, but didn’t have to.
“Oh my! Did you make these?” the ghost chef indicated the macarons and cakes. They were hard to miss. “Brave of you to start off with such finicky things. All in all, they’re not bad attempts."
"They're not?"
The ghost chuckled. “Of course not. How many times do you think a pastry chef muddles macarons or ices a cake incorrectly before it’s passable? It’s one part skill, one part practice, and one part learning as you go. Here, let me show you some tips and tricks I picked up myself.”
Vil, Jack—and even Gordon himself—watched in silent awe as the ghost chef went about his work.
Ingredients were effortlessly measured and sifter into a bowl (“Keeps it free of lumps!”), then whipped egg whites carefully folded into the batter. “You want stiff peaks for the whites, and minimum folding to get it incorporated!” Once the macarons were piped onto a sheet, the chef picked up the tray and slammed it down several times—“To scare off the air bubbles.”
The batch of macarons was slid into a waiting oven, and he started on his next task.
Into a stand mixer went several sticks of butter. The machine came to life, whipping the fats well.
“Traditional buttercream forms a crust over time,” the ghost chef explained. “That gets gritty and unpleasant! So here’s an alternate version that doesn’t crust. It’s less sweet, but still stable, easy to work with.“
He lifted a bottle and tipped its contents into the aerated butter. Transparent syrup fell in thick rivulets, and he grinned. Powdered sugar followed, visible only for seconds before it disappeared into the gathering frosting.
“The secret is light corn syrup. Using dissolved sugar instead of powdered makes the frosting smooth and stops it from hardening. Adds a fine luster to the frosting too!”
Using a spatula, he spooned the fresh buttercream into a piping bag and handed it off to Vil. “Scrape the stuff that’s on your cakes off and try again with this,” the ghost encouraged. “Should work like a dream!”
“Thank you,” Vil said, a little bewildered by the heft of the piping bag. “I will show you a beautiful dessert by yours truly.”
“Looking forward to it.”
DING!
The oven’s timer went off.
“That’s 13 minutes! Howl-kun, can you get the macarons?” called the ghost.
“Yes, Chef! I’m on it!” Jack, in a pair of heat-resistant mitts, marched to the oven and reached inside. He produced a tray of perfect pink domes, a cloud of ruffles—the macaron’s feet—at their bases. “Whoa.”
“A nice filling and they’ll be good to go. You’ve got it covered?”
“I’ll try my best.”
“Good, good. Let us know if you need any help though, alright? That’s what your teachers are here for.”
Jack nodded, then retreated to his station. While the macarons cooled, he chopped white chocolate and tossed it into a pan with heavy cream. Moments later, they had melded into a rich ganache, sweetness hanging in a heavy cloud about it. One scoop was enough for a pair of shells, lightly pressed together.
Beside his junior, Vil was hard at work redoing a cake. His stand was set spinning, a bench scraper aligned to comb and smooth out the dollops of frosting he had painted along the sides. The cake was a blank white canvas, and Vil, the artist.
Sparks in their eyes, faces bright with the glow of determination.
“Incredible,” Gordon breathed, staring after the duo. He turned back to the head chef. “You made it look so easy.”
The ghost chef laughed and contentedly patted his stomach. “I’ve had my whole life and afterlife to master the skills!”
“No kidding. You saved my ass back there.”
And more importantly, he’s actually got the kids motivated again.
“You’re the one that’s helped us out a lot, Ramsay-kun. The kitchen is so short-staffed with so many students wanting to take the Culinary Crucibles elective this year. You took some of the instruction off of our hands. This is the very least I can do to return the favor.”
The head chef smiled. “Don’t forget, you can always call on us if you ever need help.”
“That right? Then I guess you wouldn’t mind helping me out with one more thing today.”
“Mm, what’s that?”
Gordon rolled up his sleeves, a newfound fire in his expression. “Please teach me too.”
“Huh?! You want me to teach you?”
“I’m as much of a student as they are—and I’d be honored to learn from a chef of your caliber.”
“Ramsay-kun…” The ghost teared up. “Oh, how could I refuse? I’d be happy to!! Go on now, get your own station set up and we can get started immediately.”
The creases in Gordon’s face lifted. His response, hearty and joyful.
“Yes, Chef!”
Vil glanced up from his cake. “… Are my eyes and ears deceiving me?”
“They aren’t.” Jack’s brows lifted. “I’m seeing and hearing it too.”
“It’s not so shocking,” Gordon grunted. “This is a school. We’re here to learn new skills and techniques—doesn’t matter if we’re student or teacher.“
“Fufufu,” Vil chuckled to himself. “Well, aren’t you humble?”
“Heh.” Jack found himself fighting to keep down a small smile. “I can respect that. Nothing wrong with a guy lookin’ to improve himself.”
“That makes three of us.”
We’re not that different at our very cores. Stubborn fools with dreams and aspirations of achieving something greater. For ourselves, for the ones around us.
The ghost chef clapped his doughy hands. “Isn’t this so exciting, class? We’re embarking on a culinary journey together! I hope you’re ready, because I sure am!”
They replied in unison, hearts united:
“Ready when you are, Chef!”
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martyrbat · 9 months
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alfred in wonderland – batman tales: once upon a crime
[ID: a watercolour of Batman and several of his associated allies about to spring into an attack to save Alfred! All the characters are in their superhero costumes. Damian al Ghul is on top of a giant green dinosaur while holding a sword. Zatanna has her magic wand held up and ready to charge! Dick Grayson and Jason Todd are just standing there, next to Bruce in the centre. Jon Kent, still as a child, is floating in the air and has his fist outstretched in front of him! Barbara Gordon and Selina Kyle are on the front lines and are nearly blocking the others behind them in their eagerness to fight. END ID]
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blueeyeddarkknight · 1 year
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Val singing "if you could read my mind" on the set of wonderland🤣🎶🥰
Source : wonderland bts on youtube
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The usual thirst bonus 😉: Val serving cake 😏😋
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Here's the full song by Val and Kate .. It's my favorite cover alongside the Johnny Cash version and the og by Gordon Lightfoot. Enjoy!
youtube
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ithseem · 3 months
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Vil Schoenheit is not one to give backhanded compliments
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Round 1
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Gordon Freeman (Half Life) vs The Janitor (Willy's Wonderland)
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raesreadingcorner · 1 year
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Alice By Heart Should have come back to stage and yes I'm still salty about it.
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My infatuation with Alice by Heart is almost dangerous.
I wish it went to go onto broadway or even that we just had more videos of it because I'm obsessed and forever will be. There are only so many times that I can watch the same compilations and listen to the soundtrack without being sad that it didn't take off (thanks covid)
Sick to Death by Alice-ness is one of my favourite songs/scenes, the emotion and power is fucking outstanding. The first time I saw it, not so legally, I was in awe. Every single actor gave it their all (as they do in the whole show).
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The book doesn't do the musical the justice it deserves. I just want to see this musical live 😭😭😭
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The choreography, the harmonies, the chemistry is all so beautiful and then this heart breaking story that it's portraying with slices of fantasies from the world of Wonderland.
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I'm just saying, if you have not yet heard or even listened to at least one song from this musical please do.
It is perfection (at least in my eyes)
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Also Noah Galvin is in the og cast and his performance for all of his characters is top tier
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italoniponic · 2 years
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Silver when Riddle messes up a recipe: Oh, dear. It’s okay *hugs him*
Jamil when Deuce or Kalim messes up: YOU FUCKING DONKEY
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songbeyondthought · 2 years
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“nothing comes or goes without a shadow”
i never fully thought about this lyric until now. it shows how everyone we meet leaves a lasting impression on our lives, even if they don’t stay in our lives forever. alice has to live her life without alfred, but their love has changed alice and she’ll never be the same person she was before she fell in love with him. and that’s such a bittersweet concept.
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house-of-slayterr · 1 year
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Mad Tea Party:
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Tag: @keffirinne @howl-fantasies @flaysthings @myers-meadow
Tw: Suicide fake out.
Today was boring. That’s saying something when it comes to Gotham. It was quiet… a little too quiet. Y/N and Victor were off doing god knows what, Basil was back in National City visiting his sister. And Little V was probably following Selena around like a lost puppy. Her little crush was cute, I had to admit. But I was a little worried, there’s more of her father in her than she lets on. Thank god I’m here to be the only voice of reason.
I sighed heavily as I got up from the couch, leaving to get a glass of water. Fuck it, perhaps even some wine. Who cares that it’s three pm in the middle of the week? Just as I debated pouring myself a glass, there was a knock at the door. I was quick to answer, people in Gotham get snippy if you leave them waiting too long.
“Hello?”
“Package for one Miss Blossom.” The post man said.
I raised a brow. I wasn’t expecting any packages from anyone. Unless this was Oliver’s lame excuse to say he was sorry. I wouldn’t put it past him to think gifts could change how I feel.
“Does it say who it’s from?” I asked.
The mail man shrugged.
“Was just told to deliver it ma’am, sign here please.”
I took the pen from his hand and signed off on his pad of paper. I took the box from him and politely closed the door. I placed the box down on the coffee table. It wasn’t all that heavy. And it didn’t smell of anything in particular. I scrunched my brows, glaring at the box as if it would sprout legs and leave from the discomfort.
“This is a stupid idea.” I said out loud, despite no one being around to hear.
You never open mystery packages with no return address. Let alone in a city like this. But the longer I sat there, the more my curiosity took over. I grabbed the blade I kept hidden in my boot, and cut open the tape. On the top of the box sat a bouquet of white roses, with red speckled here and there. This certainly wasn’t one of my works, and I didn’t want to know where the red came from.
I gently picked them up, avoiding the thorns that were still protruding wildly from the plant. Who on earth would send me flowers? There was fabric in the box… a dress. I picked it up to inspect it, and it wasn’t hard to piece together who this gift came from now. The pocket watch that feel from the dress pocket was a dead giveaway. I couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto my face. Nobody had ever sent me flowers before. I picked up the bouquet again, breathing in the sweet scent. My second mistake today.
Jervis’s POV:
I watched from the building across the street, a perfect view. My sweet little Alice looked different from the last time I saw her. She must have gotten a new hair cut, I was certain of it. And she looked just as lovely as ever, even from this far away.
My heart hammered in my chest as I saw her hesitate to open my gift. What was she waiting for? I was getting antsy. Would she even open it? But my prayers were answered when she finally took out a knife to open the box. Even front his far away I could see her eyes light up. She looked around the apartment as if to ask if the gifts were really meant to her. My eyes widened as I watched her pull the dress out of the box. She would look oh so pretty in her dress.
I knew my little florist well, she could never resist the temptation that were roses. I smiled as she took a deep breath from the bouquet. Everything was going according to plan. I excitedly sprinted to the stair case, getting off the room as quickly as I could. It wouldn’t be hard to get into her apartment. I fiddled with the lock for a second, using a Bobby pin to try and manurer around the pins the lock. A soft click sounded and I knew I was in. I quietly made my way across the room, admiring her sleeping form. She was so pretty when she slept, almost like an Angel.
I gently brushed a hair out of her face, and smiled down at her. My sweet little Alice. The world was too dangerous for someone like her. The sedative should last for a few hours, which gave me more than enough time to get everything ready. I picked her up, cradling her in my arms. I swore my heart almost stopped when she sleepily leaned her head against my chest. I was sure it was hammering by now.
I made it back to my warehouse no problem. The citizens of Gotham never even bat an eye. Everything was going perfect, for my tea party. And the other guests would be brought in soon. I giggled joyously, excitement shivering through every muscle in my body. I watched as my henchmen brought in the other three party guests. I frowned when it seemed the detective was very much away, and struggling against his fate.
His eyes landed on the chair Maggie was currently tied down too. I didn’t want her falling by accident. I couldn’t stand to ruin her sweet face. I found myself zoning out and daydreaming again, but Jim’s sickening voice brought me back down to Earth.
“What do you want from us Tetch?” He gritted.
“We’ll I can’t possibly go and spoil the surprise, patients is a key Detective. Something you think you would have learned by now.”
Jim scoffed as one of the guards sat him forcefully down in his chair. They were quick to arrange Miss Tompkins and Mr Pepper in their seats at the table. Both still very much unconscious, but it seemed the man was only the brink of waking up.
“Jervis, your problem is with me, let them go.” Jim suggested.
“No can do Jimbo, we don’t want to go spoiling our fun now.” I gave him a tight lipped smile.
I watched as Miss Tompkins began to stir as well.
“Greeting and welcome!” I greeted the two.
The look on her face when she realises where she was, was priceless. I wish Maggie was awake to see it. I watched as her eyes moved between her ex and her new lover.
“Love, are you alright? Are you hurt?” The man asked in an overly sweet tone.
It nearly made me nauseous.
“I’m alright,” she assured him, “are you ok?”
He gave her a curt nod. Her attention finally was back on me.
“What’s this about Jervis?” She asked.
Her tone was demanding and I didn’t appreciate it. They were all lucky I gave the order to get them to me in one piece. It would be no fun if someone got hurt before afternoon tea even started. I chose to ignore her, a few more minutes passed as I prepared tea and began to set the table. I could see Jim’s eyes trained on Maggie, from the side of my own. I hated the way he looked at her. He wasn’t good enough for someone like my Alice.
I placed a cup in front of her sleeping form.
“Perhaps I gave you too much.” I pondered out loud.
I didn’t want her to wake up before her surprise, but perhaps I went a little overboard.
“What did you give us?” Lee asked again.
“Sevoflurane, my dear. It’s a fast acting anaesthetic.”
I watched a look of distress flood her features. Before the others had gotten here, I changed Maggie into her costume. She looked better than I could have ever imagined.
I couldn’t hide the smile on my face as she finally decided to join us. I watched as her sleepy eyes scanned the room, taking in her surroundings. I expected to see fear, but that wasn’t it. There was a glint of something different in her eyes, and I wanted to know what it was.
“Ah, Sleeping Beauty is finally awake!” I announced cheerfully.
The first words out of her mouth nearly startled me.
“Where the hell have you been?” She asked incredulously.
How quaint, she noticed my absence. Jim raised a brow at the young woman. I blinked at her for a moment. Not so certain I was comfortable with her sweating. Ladies should never cuss.
“Really Maggie, that’s your question?” Jim asked.
She shrugged the best she could with the restraints tying her down.
“Don’t worry my little Dove, I’ve been around. I’ve been quite busy recently.”
She looked around at her fellow tea mates.
“Yeah, I can see that.”
She let out a heavy sigh.
“Well, now that we’re all here, the show can begin.” I announced.
“What show?” Jim asked.
“We’ll the tea party of course! And now we shall commence. You see Jimbo, a little birdie told me you were having girl problems. And I feel for you, truly, it’s hard to find a good women out there.”
“That doenst make any sense.” Jim quipped back.
“We’ll of course it does Silly. Here’s how this is going to work. You, dear Detective, have to choose. You have the evening,” I placed a gun on the table, sliding it to Jim. “There’s no way out of this building that I won’t be watching. So no cheating. Either you shoot him, and take Dr Tompkins for yourself, or, you shoot her, and choose Maggie.”
I gave a pleased smirk at the end of my little speech.
“I’ll have them untie you all, and remember, there’s no way out.”
I turned my attention to Maggie, her expression was practically unreadable. Of course, I knew I would never let her get hurt. Not truly anyway. She was certainly not as timid as when we first met. But I suppose you can’t expect innocence in Gotham.
My goons moved forward to remove the shackles from the others. But not Maggie, none of them had permission to touch her. I made my way around the table, squatting down next to her as I fiddled with the restraints. Her eyes were practically trained on my fingers. It made me blush slightly, a little tremor in my hand from the way my heart skipped a beat. Her now free hand reached out to mine as she had my complete and total attention. I swore I stopped breath.
“Mi Corazon, you look lovely in your party dress,” I completed. Lovely wasn’t even the right word, it didn’t capture enough of her beauty. “Te ves positivamente radiante.”
I was close enough to see the flush of her cheeks.
“Flattery isn’t going to work this time, Quierdo. Fair warning, Y/N not going to be very happy when she finds out I skipped family spa day for this.”
I took no interest in her threat, my brain simply replaying that pet name over and over again.
“Puedes hablarme español todos los días, mi amor.” A purr rose in the back of my throat.
She rolled her eyes. Jim reached for the gun as expected, and trained it on me.
“Let is go Tetch.” He demanded.
I laughed, not bother to get up from my spot beside her.
“Go ahead, shoot me Gordon.” I taunted.
I heard the soft click of the gun… it was empty. The look on his face was priceless. It’s what he deserved for being a dick to my sweet little Alice.
“Did you honestly think I’d give you a loaded weapon?” I mused. “No, if you want your bullets, you’ll just have to beg little Alice here nicely.”
I pet her head, and she looked up at me with confusion in her eyes. I could easily get lost in them forever. They were far my hypnotic than any of my little trinkets. I wondered if I could harvest it, the way she could make anyone do anything for her with just a bat of her eyelashes. It was captivating.
“Las balas están en tu bolsillo, palomita.” I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, right where her hairline started.
She smelled strongly of peaches and lemon grass. It was heavenly.
“Si elige mal, dispárale, nos duele.”
I instructed before departing the scene. Truth be told, I didn’t want Jim to have her. But I didn’t want him to choose Lee either, that would just break Maggie’s fragile heart.
Maggie’s POV:
My face flushed when Jervis leaned in to kiss my forehead. It was such a simple gesture, but it made me melt. I knew it shouldn’t, that it was wrong, the man just kidnapped me for fucks sake. But Jervis had never given me any reason to believe he’d hurt me. I watched as he left the room, presumably dead bolting us inside.
“Did he just call you Alice?” Jim was the first to break the silence.
“Don’t read too much into Jim, this is Gotham, you’ve seen worse.” I dismissed him.
“Do you have any idea what happened to his last Alice?” His tone seemed angry now.
“She would have been fine if you didn’t have an incessant urge to stick your nose into everyone business.” I snapped.
“You’re hanging out with too many villains Maggie, that’s the problem.”
“Ha!” I spat out a laugh, throwing my head back. “You want to tell me what my problem is, that’s rich coming from you. Mr I’m afraid of commitment! We wouldn’t even be here right now if it wasn’t for you, so shut it!”
Lee cleared her throat to try to break the tension, but it just made me more agitated.
“Fighting amonsut each other isn’t going to help anything, we have to find a way out of here.” She said.
Mario was already up on his feet, pacing the drab concrete room. I smoothed out my dress with my hands, adjusting my apron. I reached across the table and poured myself a cup of tea. This was going to be a long day, but hey, at least I wasn’t bored anymore. And I was right about what I said earlier, Oswald would probably freak out with me being missing, and send her to come fetch me.
“Me my guest.” I suggested, pointing at the door Jervis left out of. “If you get shot, don’t blame me pretty boy.”
I brought the beautifully decorated tea cup to my mouth. We were drinking from a red glass set, my favourite colour. Jervis had planned an entire tea party for me, and in his own fucked up way it was sort of cute. Suddenly my hand was slapped away from my face.
“What is your damage Jim?!” I exclaimed!
“Don’t drink that, it could be poisoned.” He said.
“Cet idiot ne peut pas être sérieux.” I mumbled under my breath. “You don’t get it, Jervis is not going to poison me.” I said flatly.
“He did use an illegal anesthetiser to knock you out and kidnap you, or did that part just get lost on you?” Mario spoke directly to me for the first time.
“Yet I don’t have a single scratch on me.” I held my arms out for proof. “If Jervis wanted me dead, my brains would be splattered on the concrete by now. But they aren’t, wanna know why? Cause he’s not going to hurt me. He’s already lost one Alice, I don’t think he could handle another.”
“And you’re just ok with that?” Lee asked bewildered.
“You learn to be ok with a lot of things real quick when you don’t have many other options. Why do you think so many people stranded on islands convert to cannibalism? Life goes a lot easier when you stop trying to change things outside of your control. This, is not my tea party, I’m just playing the game.”
I glared down at the broken glass now on the floor. I reached across and stole Jim’s cup, pouring myself yet another cup of tea. This time he didn’t try to stop me. The only smart thing he’d done all night. How could you love someone so much that you hated them? I wish my heart would stop competing with my brain for two seconds so I could think. Lee sighed.
“We’ll it’s clear to me Jim, that this Jervis guy seems to think you’re still in love with my fiancé.” Mario stated.
Jim immediately got defensive. And I had to say, it hurt. I mean I knew he still had feelings for Lee, she was pretty and smart, a dangerous combo in Gotham. I balled my hand into a fist under the table, squeezing the bullets in my pocket. I zoned out most of the conversation, I didn’t want to hear his lame excuses as he tries to deny it. As much as I hated her, if Lee made Jim genuinely happy, then he could have her. Who am I to stand in the way of that?
“Wait, are you related to Sofia?” I asked out of the blue.
Everyone had been up and around, trying to find any week-spot in this fortress. I lazily sap at the table, enjoying my tea.
“Yes, why?” Mario asked.
“No reason.” I quickly countered.
What was I supposed to tell the man, that his sister didn’t die how he thinks she did? That I shot her point blank in the head because she kissed Jim. Well she did a lot more than that, but the point still stands. It wouldn’t vote in my favour if I made an enemy of him at this moment. I didn’t need a Falcone hating me. He glared at me questionably but decided to drop it.
“This really doesn’t concern you in the slightest does it?” He asked.
“We’re not in any immediate danger, I’m actually quite enjoying the quiet.”
“Not in immediate danger?” Jim scoffed. “Wow, they really did a number on you.”
My glare was trained on him within seconds.
“Good strategy, keep shit talking my family Jim, see where that gets you.”
“Was that a theart?” He narrowed his eyes at me.
“Trust me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now if that was supposed to be a threat.”
“Are you really just going to sit there and pout all night?”
“What do you think?”
After a few hours I could tell they were all going stir crazy. There was not an ounce of sunlight in this drab little box. I’d taken note of the various cameras littered around the place. Jervis was watching, that much was clear. He wouldn’t let us get away without making a choice. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bullets, lazily tossing them in the air and then catching them again.
“Give up yet?” I asked, shaking a bullet for emphasis.
“What do you think?” He spit out my earlier comment with equally as much venom.
Funny how I should hate him, but seeing him angry like this just made me want to take him right here, right now. Make Lee watch so she’d understand his choice completely. But that was cruel, a thought I would never entertain.
I finally stood up from my seat, frustration making it too hard to sit still.
“Christ Jim, everyone with eyes can see your still in love with her! Stop being such a fucking pussy and just say it already!” I snipped. “I want to go home.” I said a little softer.
“Of course, cause you have no stake in this, either way you win. Right, Maggie?”
I starred at him with eyes wide. The audacity of this bitch.
“Oh for fucks sake, you think I want to be here right now Jim? Stuck in this room with you and her? Is quite literally rather you just shoot me and get this over with! Because if I have to listen to your agitating sexy, grating angelic voice for one more second, I’m going to pull a Van Gogh and cut off my fucking ears! You know I’m supposed to be at the airport in a few hours to welcome Basil home right? And I promised little V I’d take her, Selena and Bruce out for Ice cream to give Alfred a break. I’m already going to get my ass beat when I go home for fucking up Y/N pristine schedule, and Oswald is going to scream his head off and not let me leave that dreaded mansion for a whole month! So if you could kindly just make a god damn choice for once in your miserable life, now is the time!” I ranted.
I threw the bullets down at his feet.
“Do you what you fucking want with them, I don’t care. But don’t you dare try to blame all this on me. Loves a two way street Gordon, and you seem to always place yourself smack dab in the middle of traffic.”
“My apologises for not being enthused that some psycho is trying to force my hand and make me kill someone.”
I froze. By the gods is he dumb. What is it about Himbos that just makes my heart swell?
“Les dieux me donnent la force!” I turned my attention back to him “Shoot someone!”
“What?” Mario asked.
“Jervis said you had to shoot someone, not that you had to kill them. Did Dent never explain loopholes to you Jim?” I sighed.
“Just shoot someone in the foot or something so we can leave?”
He seemed to contemplate my words for second. I could tell he was still hesitant about it, any other moment I would have found it endearing. But right now it was getting on my last nerve.
“Jim, listen to me, Y/N is probably already on her way here now. If she makes it here before we get out, she’s going to shoot all of us, for fun. She tolerates you but she has no qualms with killing those two. So if you want to play hero, fine, just give me the damn gun.”
“No.” He said after a long pause.
“No?” I asked.
“Nobody’s getting shot, I’ll find us another way out of this.”
I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.
“It’s not his fault he’s not like you.” Lee commented.
“Yeah and what do you know about me little miss perfect? Hmmm? You get to walk out of here and get married, and have Jim follow you around like a love sock puppy. So what are you complaining about? You win Tompkins! You don’t need to rub it in my face.” I said.
She cringed a bit at that. It was comforting to know she felt the least bit guilty. I sat back down, sipping my now cold tea.
“Maggie-“ Jim started, but I was quick to cut him off.
“Don’t!” I warned. “Don’t you dare talk right now, cause I know every word about to come out of that pretty little mouth of yours is going to be a lie. I’m always going to love you like you’re going to love her. Don’t make this any more painful that it already is.”
My voice lost any bitterness and spite. Frankly I was exhausted. He sighed. I did my best to bite back any tears that were threading to fall. I wasn’t going to cry in front of her of all people.
“What if I give Jervis the ending he actually wants?” Jim tired.
This piqued my interest.
“Jim you don’t have to do this, we can find another way out.” Lee begged.
One thing I appreciated about Mario was he didn’t talk much. He knew when to keep quiet, and honestly, he seemed too good for Leslie. He was a hell of a lot better than his sister, that’s for sure. It seemed I’d gotten lost because before I knew it Jim was standing in front of me. He held the gun out to me. I raised a brow, but took it none the less.
“Do what you have to do.” He said.
“Are you insane Jim?” Lee asked. “Sure, give the mentally unstable girl a gun!”
Even Mario seemed taken aback by her statement. All this time I thought my hatred for her was one sided, but it seemed to be mutual. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. Jim stood there, not attempting to be a moving target. It seems some part of him still trusted me, and that was refreshing. There was one bullet left in my pocket. I pulled it out, examining it for a second. I popped it in the chamber of the revolver and spun the clip.
I stood up and walked to the centre of the room, glaring at the camera.
“I know you can here me J,” I challenged, “let them go, or I swear to god I will splatter my brains all of this costume!”
I held the gun to my temple, looking right down the barrel of the security camera. Jim looked at me like I was insane. He meant for me to shoot him. Mario shuffled on his feet awkwardly, and Leslie just stood there dumbfounded.
“Jervis.” I warned.
When he didn’t respond I pulled the trigger. I heard the familiar click of the empty chamber and flinched slightly. I pulled back the hammer, spinning the clip.
“Stop ignoring me Jervis.” I tried once more.
Still… nothing. I put my faith into that shot and pulled the trigger once more. Again met with a deafening silence.
“Hatter!” I finally tested.
Ready to go one more time, when I heard the screech of the PA system roaring to life.
“No aprietes ese gatillo, mi princesa!” He pled.
“Then open the fucking door!”
My finger ghosted over the trigger once more.
“Ok, ok. Just put the gun down.”
I smiled, satisfied that it had worked. Not my brightest moment, it certainly was a risky plan. But if living with Oswald has taught me anything, is that it dangerous to mess with someone’s illusion of you. And I just sent Jervis’s crashing down. My head snapped to the door when I heard the creak of the steel lock. I held the gun down by my side and made eye contact with Jim. I nodded my head to the door.
“Go.” I said. “You can try to catch him another time. But you won’t find him Jim.”
I knew what he was thinking. When it came to crime at least, he was pretty cut and dry. The only thing he loved more than Leslie Tompkins, was his job. She’s smart to get out while she can. Marry someone reasonable like Mario Falcone. He looked hesitant but left none the less, escorting the two “civilians” out of the building.
“Oh, and for what it’s worth Leslie, I hope the two of you have a good wedding.” I said.
The room was early silent now. I placed the gun down on the table and sat back in my chair. After a few minuets the door cheeked open again with a guilty looking Mad Hatter peeking his head through.
“You can come in Jervis.” I sighed.
He was quick to cross the room and kneel down before me. His eyes looked red, almost as if he’d be crying. Had he?
“I’m sorry Princesa,” he said, grabbing my hand in his. “I was just trying to help, please forgive me?” He begged.
I let out a groan, rolling my shoulders to release any previous tension they were holding. He looked like a child who’d just gotten yelled to by his mother.
“I’m not mad at you J.”
His eyes lit up at that.
“Really?”
“Yes, now get off the floor.”
He quickly scrambled to his feet, sitting in the chair that Jim had been previously sat in.
“I really just wanted to help. He’s your- he’s your Alice.” He said sheepishly.
Most people never got to see this side of Jervis Tetch, the furious Mad Hatter. But I enjoyed this side of him. This was the Jervis I’d first met that day in the cemetery. No villains, no hero’s, no bullshit. But I’d be delusional to ever wish for those times back. I wasn’t the same girl I was that day, and she would be horrified to see what Gotham turned us into. But that Girl wouldn’t have survived Gotham, so perhaps she’d give me leniency. It was survival of the fittest. I cracked a small smile at Jervis’s words.
“He is my Alice, huh.” I laughed. “But more importantly, I am yours. Alice and Hatter, friends forever.” I said.
He looked positively giddy, and I would be a liar if I said it wasn’t adorable.
“Where were you?” I asked again.
“I had to deal with some stuff about my Sister. I couldn’t stand to look at Gotham anymore. The only thing that drew me back was you.”
“Well, I still have a few hours before I have to go pick up B and little V. Would you, Jervis Tetch like to accompany me to the airport? I have Through the Looking Glass on audio book in my car.”
He grinned like the Cheshire Cat.
“I couldn’t think of a more perfect way to spend my evening, Mi Princesa.”
He held out his hand to help me up from my chair. Always the gentlemen.
“Do me a favour and lay low for a while yeah? Jim’s not going to stop looking for you. Not after you made him confront his emotions. That man is emotionally constipated, I swear.” I joked.
“Y eres un tonto por amarlo.” He cracked.
I rolled my eyes.
“Alice didn’t need a man, maybe I can learn to live without on too. I like my friends better anyway.”
I winked at him, before running out the door.
“Whoever makes it to the car last has to steal Victors favourite knife!” I called back to him, laughing and giggling all the way to the car as he chased me.
An: I went with Madness Returns Alice for this one, because it makes more sense for Maggie’s character. I headcannon that Jervis can speak Spanish. The vibe just seems right. Is Maggie totally just rage flirting with Jim at this point, yes, yes she is. Being nice didn’t get her anywhere 😂 also my apologises if I accidentally called him Mario Pepper instead of Falcone, my brain was being dumb. I tried to fix all the ones I could find.
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“He could’ve sworn that the Bicker-Owl sounded too much like a nature-loving engine he knew too well.”
Hi everyone! Have a Henry from this fic called Gordon In Wonderland . I think it's really nice :)
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heh
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THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY ABOUT THE IDEA OF ORTHO (who doesn't even eat) DUNKING ON IDIA'S FOOD
Ortho voice) With all due respect, Nii-san... Your cooking is sh*t 🤢
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thewolveswithin · 2 years
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If You Could Read My Mind · Gordon Lightfoot
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happilyasimp · 2 years
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Ruggie: Don't ever get lessons on singing from Eclipse.
Ace: Why?
Eclipse: *snacking Flyod across the head cussing him out for messing up* (Gordon Ramsay ass mf)
Flyod: *runs for his life*
Kalim: I don't get it, he gets mad at everyone else for messing up but me.
Jade: That's because he fell for you.
Ace: Aren't you supposed to be helping Flyod?
Jade: And suffer the pale one's wrath? *Shudders* No thanks.
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arcadicapalsblog · 6 months
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TAF: Nights of Terror Day 3
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Y/N: "It's dark in here."(Y/N turns on his/her flashlight and suddenly, its light starts flickering)
Y/N: "Well... (starts moving his/her flashlight everywhere) At least I'm all alone."
Henry: "Or not."
Y/N: "Huh?"
Gordon: "You're finally next!"
(Y/N shines his/her flashlight in front of him/her and sees Henry and Gordon)
Y/N: "Uh oh."
(Henry and Gordon lunge at Y/N, knocking his/her flashlight down and start eating him/her alive)
Y/N: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Day 3 of TAF: Nights of Terror, a Goretober/Inktober 2023 challenge featuring Thomas and Friends characters (from my anthropomorphic animal AU) as killer animatronics in scary situations and experiences featuring Y/N, a.k.a. you who are seeing this. Inspired by Five Nights at Freddy's, The Banana Splits Movie, and Willy's Wonderland.
In this picture, Y/N accidentally shines his/her flashlight on Henry the Horse and Gordon the Polar Bear, who are missing pieces of themselves.
Thomas & Friends (C) The Rev. W. Awdry, Britt Allcroft, and Mattel
Idea and artwork (C) Me
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bobowhipsblog · 4 months
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瞑想感覚 (Meditative Feeling) 三村寛子
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