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jbuffyangel · 5 years

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Y'all are going to look really dumb when it's revealed that Maya is black siren's kid. Black Siren & Blackstar. Both have green eyes and blonde hair. & in the audition piece her character asked Dinah about Black Siren. Honestly this the marriage thing all over again. I'm going to laugh my ass off. You get what you deserve!

What marriage thing? When I said Olicity was going to getmarried and then they got married? Was that the thing?

Because that’s whathappened.

I know it can be confusing since there were four proposals,one fake wedding and two real ceremonies. I definitely got what I deserved.No arguments there!

Maybe I’m thinking too specifically about this “marriedthing” because I agree there were some really funny moments on the way to thealtar:

Oliver proposing to Felicity in front of L*urel and sheapplauded.

Oliver leaving L*urel on their wedding day because herealized their fake relationship in the dream world was based off his realmemories from his relationship with Felicity – down to the damn wedding dress L*urelwas wearing.

And then Oliver decided he’d rather live in a world where he had asnowball’s chance in hell of getting back together with Felicity rather thanstay in a dream world with L*urel living their white picket fence existence.

L*urel telling Oliver ON HER DEATH BED he was the love ofher life and he responded with silence.

Of course, Oliver didn’t really have tosay anything. L*urel already wished for him to get back together with Felicity

and acknowledged she knew she wasn’t the love of Oliver’s life.

Oliver telling Felicity, HIS WIFE, that no matter who shebecomes she will always be the love of his life.

That shit was hysterical.

You could be simply referring to general commitment too. Rememberthe time Oliver cheated on L*urel with her sister?

Or when he cheated on L*urelAGAIN with Samantha (who was also her friend), got her pregnant and never told L*urel until Samanthashowed up in the damn bunker?

Comedy at its best.

Or when Oliver ran for the hills every time L*urel mentionedany kind of cohabitation and/or long term future together?

I laughed my ass offboth times he did it.

The North China Sea and an island from hell were preferablethan a lifetime with L*urel L*nce. HILARIOUS.

Maybe the “wedding thing” isn’t the show at all. You couldbe referring to comments from the cast and crew in relation to Oliver’sromantic endgame like:

Stephen saying it didn’t matter if L*urel had lived. Oliverwould never be with her and it was always going to be Felicity on their show.

The showrunner confirming Bl*ck S*ren and Oliver would neverbe together romantically.

The showrunner saying Oliver would NEVER cheat on Felicity.

The showrunner discussing Emily and Stephen’s chemistry andhow it was lightning in a bottle, while acknowledging Stephen and KC’schemistry is a hot mess. (Friendly reminder you can’t fix chemistry issuesbetween actors no matter how many different versions of the character theyplay.)

ALL KNEE SLAPPERS!!!!! Completely agree Anon.

If you’re going to laugh your ass off about something itshould at least be what happened in the show. There’s plenty of stuff I gotwrong.

I’ll help you out. Let’s see… I said Tommy was Prometheus. That was a goodone.

I also said there was absolutely no way Arrow would marry Oliver to theonly lesbian on the show. Boy did I miss the mark that time.

Or how about whenI said that L*urel L*nce was going to die.

Oh wait. Nope. That happened.

Then I said the writers would never bring our L*urel back to lifeagain.

Shit. That happened too. Well, I gotta get a few of them right once andawhile.

But why talk about the past? This is about the future as you say Anon and of course you’re right. Mia is clearlyBl*ck S*ren’s daughter. BECAUSE GREEN EYES AND BLONDE HAIR.

Of course Hollywood’snumber one concern when casting a role is matching hair and eye color rather than finding the right actor for the role. Just ask Dakota Fanning.She played everyone’s kid. I’m sure she couldn’t even get in the door beforedocumenting her eye and hair color.

She probably needed a DNA sample too because we know the actors areactually producing real children to play their fictional children and thenmagically aging them 20 years. Someone should tell Kat McNamara that Katie isreally her mom. What a hell of an episode that’ll make. SO META.

It’s so sad we have yet to invent hair dye or coloredcontacts if this kind of detail is really important to a director. DAMN YOUSCIENCE.

I mean of course Felicity can’t be the mother because she’sa bottle blonde. Whereas Bl*ck S*ren, who you love to remind us is anexact replica of E1 L*urel L*nce, is clearly a natural blonde. Just like ourL*urel was.

Oh. Nevermind.

It’s a real mystery where that blonde hair comes from withMia because everybody knows children are sprouted from the heads of motherslike Zeus and Athena. Women are asexual after all. The mother’s DNA is the onlything that matters in the creation of the baby.

You know what’s weird? I have brownhair and brown eyes. So how did my daughter get the most beautiful blonde hairand blue eyes the world has ever seen? OH MY GOD!!! IS SHE NOT MY BABY? AM ILIVING SWITCHED AT BIRTH? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *picks up phone to call police*

Hang on.

I’m trying to remember my sex education. I assureyou it’s been awhile. I feel like at some point someone told me the father alsoplays a fairly significant role in the creation of a human being. Somethingabout sperm.

My husband has blonde hair and blue eyes. So maybe it’s possiblethe man I’ve been sleeping with for 13 years impregnated me with thischild (if we’re to believe the junk science of sex education) and passed on hisblonde hair and blue eyes to her. THE MIND REELS. *putting down the phone*

So if Mia wasn’t sprouted from the head of her mother andArrow has embraced the insanity of actual science, I guess it’s possible that Miagot her blonde hair from OLIVER.

Wow.

But what about those eyes? It’s IMPOSSIBLE for two blue eyedpeople like Oliver and Felicity to produce a green eyed baby. Although, Iseem to remember my 10th grade science teacher saying somethingabout two blue eyes making green in our genetics unit. I also did a 5 secondGoogle search and some guys from the Stanford Genetic labs also confirm it’spossible, but there’s no way they know more than you Anon. I definitely think your dunk-a-person-in-water-and-if-they-don’t-drown-it-means-they-aren’t-a-witch kind of science makes a hell of a lot more sense than Stanford geneticists. If there’sone thing history taught us it’s to follow the science of 1600s Salem,Massachusetts.

But maybe I misunderstood again. Your word gymnastics is sotricky and smart. It’s hard to keep up!

Maybe you just meant Bl*ck S*ren getspregnant by Mr. Rando. I’m sure we’ll see her love story develop any day now,since she has to get pregnant really soon for Mia’s age to make a damn bit ofsense. Certainly Bl*ck S*ren’s relationship with Mr. Rando will take precedenceover Oliver and Felicity’s love story. It’s not like the show is centered onOlicity, so I’ll be on the lookout for this impending great romance.

Genetics aside, you also alerted me to the iron clad proofof the audition scene!!! What would I do without you anon? I haven’t seen Mia’saudition scene, but if she mentions Bl*ck S*ren then of course it means she’sher daughter. DUH. Everything from the audition scenes ends up in the show. Question – was her name Maya in the audition?

I did see the audition tapes for nearly every actress whoauditioned for “Tina” aka Dinah Drake. Those leaked everywhere. I bet theshowrunners were pretty ticked. I’m still waiting for the writers to introduceCarlos or dive into Dinah’s service with the Marine Corps. It’s almost like theyput things in the audition scene that don’t end up on the show to throw peopleoff. Ya know, in case the scene leaks.

I remember when people thought there was a chemistry testbetween Stephen (Oliver) and the actress playing Tina (Dinah) in her audition.Everyone freaked out. Olicity was over! Oliver Queen was going to end up withthe new Bl*ck C*nary, which of course is exactly what happened in the show.

Damn it! I’m wrong again!

I really need to rewatch seasons.

Funny enough the snip it of dialogue from the audition scene for Tina did end up in an episode of Arrow. But the scene was betweenDinah and Diggle.

So weird. It’s almost like they screen tested chemistry withanother actor. But God knows that wouldn’t happen because obviously Oliver isending up with some kind of C*nary.

I know what I’m about to say is insanity, but maybe Bl*ckS*ren was mentioned in the audition scene as a diversion. It could actually beproof Mia’s character has nothing to do with Bl*ck S*ren at all. I’ll be sureto ask the writers once Carlos shows up. It’ll be any day now.

And last, but certainly not least, Bl*ck Siren and Blackstar both have the name BLACK. Does this also mean she’s Dinah and Zoe’s baby? Because they have black in their code names too . Oooh maybe Dinah and Bl*ck Siren get married!!! I do love a good wedding theory. If William ever gets a code name he better make sure it has GREEN in it so people know who the hell he is. That’s the point of a code name right? Damn. Bl*ck S*ren is CIA level. She’s so sneaky. I’m sooo impressed.

Thanks for reaching out and showing me the light Anon. Truly, I am grateful. I can’t wait to see how this response ages on Monday.

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discostozier · 7 years

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Courageous

Use a mathematical formula in your writing.

Characters: Bill Denbrough, Stan Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier

Bill stared, aghast, at the paper in front of him.

Three hours had already passed since he started trying to make his math homework, and until now, the only thing he could gather from the experience was that his teacher hated them all with passion. Bill didn’t blame him for hating them, after spending at least one hour a day every day with them, but it was just unfair to do this kind of abuse.

For the record, Bill was not a guy with school problems, with only oral presentations as an exception on days he was especially nervous and forgot about the topic. But overall, he never complained about his grades nor his school performance. He even had time to attend to football practice.

Until Integral Calculus happened (aka, hard math) with the most strict teacher in high school. And he wasn’t a bad teacher, he just… had really big expectations that students couldn’t reach most of the time.

So, after 3 hours and 1 minute, he decided to get help.

-----------

First, he went with whom he shared the class with.

“Did y-you f-finished the homewu-work from mister Harkavay’s class?” Bill asked, sitting in front of Richie at the cafeteria. However, his hopes went crashing down when Richie raised his head, and he saw that his chin was covered with peanut butter.

“Having a math problem, Big Bill?” Richie cleaned the peanut butter with the back of his hand when Bill pointed it. “But, yeah. We’ve got a study hour with the hot blonde teacher that always checks what you are doing. Apparently, doodling in your notebook doesn’t count as “productive”, can you believe it?”

Bill could believe it. Richie’s notebook was full of explicit doodles.

“Wuh-wait, did you say ‘yes’?”

“Yup”

“H-how?”

Richie shrugged while eating the last piece of his peanut butter and jelly sándwich. Then, he said with his mouth full: “I just followed his instructions.”

For a moment, Bill’s mind short-circuited. It was weird to listen to Richie saying that he “followed his instructions”. Then, he remembered that the bastard got A’s and B’s on his grades in an almost mysterious way. Eddie, Stan and he once theorized that Richie blackmailed the teachers with bad jokes until they gave up, but then in his first year of high school he was the only one that aced a physics test, while everyone else got C’s and D’s. So he was smarter than he looked.

Possibly.

“Want help, Big Bill?” Richie asked while trying to open his chocolate milk, and Bill nodded several times.

And Bill appreciated the good intentions, really, but even if Richie was a very good student, he was a very bad teacher.

“For the fifth time,” Richie pointed at the formula needed for the problem with the tip of his pencil. Bill felt like a scolded little kid. “The big S means that we need to integrate, so you send the S to fuck itself after the equal sign, and then you put the U where it belongs.”

“Y-yes, b-b-but—“

“Then, you do what the formula tells you to. This times this, you say goodbye to the big ol’ parenthesis and you send it to fuck itself with the S. And finally, you just do what’s left.”

Bill frowned.

“Yes, bu-but,” Richie sighed audibly, but Bill just ignored him. “How c-can you kno-now whe-wu-where all the inf-f-formation came from? I mean, the po-problem doesn’t t-tell you what is w-what.”

Richie shrugged, and Bill wanted to strangle him.

---------

After a failed study session with Richie, Bill considered not doing anything and to just be led by fate. Fortunately, Eddie was sent his way by fate.

“I’m sorry, Bill, but I don’t think I can help you,” Eddie said, visibly embarrassed. He looked resigned, like Bill. He shivered a little since the yard was starting to get cold and they had just started stretching. “I don’t understand, either. I think my teacher isn’t explaining it how it’s supposed to be. “

Bill frowned while stretching.

“We-well, thanks anywu-way, Eddie.”

“Why don’t you ask Stan?” Eddie asked while focusing on touching the tip of his toes. He almost touched them. “He is also good at math. In fact, I was thinking about asking him for help after classes.”

“Stan shares ma-math class with you?”

“No, but since when Stan is not good at math?”

Bill thought he was right.

--------

Every day, Bill saw Stan at least once a day. Some days they just saw each other for 5 minutes, sometimes they just waved at each other in the hallway, but they always saw each other. Except for today. Today, apparently, the universe seemed to hate him (maybe the one hating him was his teacher though), and Bill had to look under every rock possible in school to find him.

“Why did you looked under the rocks? Obviously, you are not going to find me there.” Stan said in a humorous way. He had two books under his arm and was smiling, almost laughing. He looked impeccable, while Bill looked messy and sweaty for running around in school looking for him. “Maybe Eddie, but not me.”

“What w-wu-would Eddie say ab-about that?”

Stan laughed.

“’Stan’s last period is History, maybe you should start looking there.’”

“You finished?” Bill asked while denying with his head. Stan made an exaggerated look of thinking it over, and after a few seconds he nodded.

“Go-good, because I ne-n-need your help.”

Stan arched an eyebrow, with a more serious look on his face than before. When Bill got his calculus homework out, though, he frowned. He took the already dirty and mistreated paper from his study session with Richie and looked at him over the sheet.

“Math problems?” He asked, looking at the paper with clear distaste. Bill nodded. “Sure, fine, I can help you. Is my house okay?

---------

Stan smiled over his calculus book, but quickly hid his face with the book pages when Bill raised his head.

The room’s silence was only broken by the sound of Bill’s pencil against his notebook, and with that kind of intimacy, Stan felt a little embarrassed. It was kind of overwhelming, like someone was watching them and judging him, even though there was no one else in that room.

He grabbed a cookie from the plate that was at the center of the table, not being ready for his mind to go that kind of places just yet. He chewed slowly, letting his mind go over and over the same paragraph in his book until Bill coughed and interrupted his misery.

“Is this okay?” Bill asked slowly. He passed his notebook to him and Stan shook cookie crumbs off of his hand before grabbing the notebook. While he was checking the exercises, he almost chewed the eraser at the top of the pencil, but quickly caught himself before doing it and just hit his cupid’s bow. Bill stifled a laugh.

“It seems everything’s fine” Was Stan’s verdict once he finished. Bill lighted up like a lamp.

“Thank you, Stan!” He exclaimed and Stan smiled.

“Next time, don’t ask Richie for help. He is as good at teaching as I’m at swallowing fire.”

Bill barked a laugh and Stan tightened his hold on Bill’s notebook. He kept a sigh on his chest and saved it for when Bill hugged him just outside his door, when he was leaving. Fortunately, Bill didn’t notice, or he did but decided not to say a thing, and just let Stan hug him back for a little longer that night.

#stephen king's it #the losers club #stanley uris #stan uris #bill denbrough #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #stenbrough #a little pinning stan #he is just starting oh boi #writing thing #drabble #english #it movie 2017

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klainelynch · 6 years

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2017 in review

I always say that I’m going to post a “how my year was” at the end of the year, but I have an awful memory so I never remember what happened in each month. This year, I tried to post about each month as it finished- the good and the bad. Under a cut because of course it got long, and I never seem to post about my real life, so this may be boring if you don’t actually know me.

January

Got a snow day after having students for just one day

Accidentially read a book in one night (Perfect) because of aforementioned snow day/borrowing it electronically from the library/not knowing how many pages there were (not that many since it’s YA)

Got two more snow/ice days because my county has mountains in it and we’re in the South, so we’re not prepared for winter

Saw Hidden Figures and cried about how good humanity can be when we actually allow and encourage all people to be their best (black women!!!! they did that!!!!!!!)

Helped my students navigate our county’s program of going one-to-one with Chromebooks (there were many good things, such as getting my kids to play freerice for extra credit; there were many bad things, such as a quiz getting screwed up because I shuffled the questions but had asked my co-teacher to help me by reading the quiz [as she normally does] to a half dozen students...who all had a different order of questions...).

Went to a conference for new teachers and while a lot of the information was repetitive, there were a few things I got from it (such as 6.5 professional development hours aw yis).

Got to see lots of family I don’t usually see on this weekend!

Started reading The Diary of Anne Frank with my students because this country allowed fascism to be A Thing™ and I’m going to resist however I can.

Got two (!!!!!!) days off at the end of January for sick days (apparently other students in the county? not us but we benefitted!!!!)

February

Finally had an entire 5-day week of school

Then got another two days off for sickness (8th grade was doing our part by asking ENTIRE classes “Hey! Anyone feel sick? Anyone want to go get their temp checked???”)

Went to an open house at a local mosque, and y’all, I live in The South™ but their parking lot filled up a good 15 minutes before the event even started and there was an overflow room and so much support for this community during the Muslim Ban and it just filled my heart with joy

Got a haircut (it was literally down to my butt y’all!!!!) and now it’s right below my shoulders

Had pedal extensions installed in my car because I’m 4′9 and would have literally died if the airbags went off.

March

Got my professional teaching license! I’m no longer an apprentice! I don’t have to have 4 observations a year!!! Only 2! And while I’m REALLY good at playing the observation game (and am MUCH better at this than the testing game), it will be nice to not think about it so much.

My mom came to stay for a few days because it was her and my sister’s spring break.

During that week, I had a LONG 4 day week, which included staying at my school until 7:30 for a town hall meeting/carnival/extravaganza. F U N.

My spring break was purposefully low-key. I rested a lot, read books, caught up on Netflix, shopped at Old Navy, and went to the local art museum for the first time (I’ve only been in this city for 8 years...)

April

I found that I actually enjoy teaching how to write an essay. The 5 paragraph essay, while it has many faults, is a really good place for beginning writers (which 8th graders are) to begin. I had a student tell me that she liked how I made each sentence have a specific purpose because she was able to plug in her evidence and thoughts more easily- this honestly made my whole day.

That being said, I HATE teaching essays when students are absent. Trying to get them caught up and keep everyone else on track is SO MUCH WORK. Especially when the absent students don’t come to me during my plan to make up their work...

For two whole days, my last period class was not allowed to use erasers because some people (two boys, as it turned out) were shredding and throwing them at each other.

I turned 26

The Welcome to Night Vale Live Show FINALLY TRAVELED TO TENNESSEE AND Y’ALL CECIL (REAL CECIL NOT THE CHARACTER) IS FROM KNOXVILLE!!!! The weather singer was super fun (she played Rocky Top and we ate that shit up like biscuits and gravy with no shame whatsoever) and the show itself was just so much fun even though I went alone. It was almost an hour of normal segments with the plot of the glow cloud, but they also brought in Steve Carlsburg and Tamika Flynn (I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied when she walked on stage because I majorly crush on that actress whoops) and watching those actors interact on stage was so much fun.

May

End of the school year is always chaotic and better left forgotten tbh

We took the 8th graders to the local theme park, and it was really good (though my expectations were super low because last year’s trip SUCKED). The weather looked like it might rain, but it was nice all day, the kids were pretty good, and the rides were fun.

There were some really sad community deaths around this time :(

The teacher who normally MCs the 8th grade commencement is now an administrator, so while we still had him open the ceremony, I gave out several of the awards, and I don’t think I did a bad job (two of the other teachers hate public speaking and the last one was new to the team this year, so I was really the only choice).

June

Worked my church’s festival, which is always fun. The crowds are never what they ought to be (due to a combination of rain threats and poor marketing), so a lot of people missed out on some really great food and music.

Great music included a new band- Southern Avenue- that I got to see again later in the year.

I had to miss the third day of the festival because of a friend’s baby shower. I knew a few people (besides the couple), but they left early; luckily, the people throwing it were a lot of fun. We played games (don’t get caught saying “baby”; pin the sperm on the egg; etc) and decorated diapers/onesies/bibs for the baby). The next day, we went to church (IN A MOTHERFUCKING MONSOON) and for Mexican food.

Started my reread of Harry Potter (it had been about 5 years since I’d last read the series). I cried in almost every book, and not always at sad parts. I’ve become very protective of Harry as I’ve gotten older.

My younger brother found an NES, which was the console I grew up with and my parents gave away years ago. They really loved to play on it, so this was a wedding anniversary present for them. The Legend of Zelda is the shit.

July

I finally got a new phone (I’d had mine about 3 years, and it died in May) and I know it’s fun for iphone users to shit on Android users, but I really do love the camera quality on my Samsung.

Rachel came to visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We drank wine and went to the zoo and got real bbq and the best donuts in the world

Had a Treat Yo Self Day which included:

WAFFLE HOUSE

BITCH!!!! B I T C H

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN GET AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE

YOU

KNOW

COUNTRY HASHBROWNS!!!!!

aka

biscuits and gravy minus the biscuits plus the hashbrowns

I just had regular biscuits and gravy BUT ALLI HAD THE GLORY

I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

McKay’s

I bought Pokemon yellow because I never played/watched it as a kid, and while at my house for the summer, I found the old black & white gameboy an older cousin gave me, so naturally I had to do it.

Pokemon Go

yes still

You know what once I was back in town I went to my favorite library almost every day for an hour or two and read while opening Pokemon Go every few minutes so there

Went with some of my best friends to visit another one of our best friends who lives in the middle of fucking nowhere and had adventures including, but not limited to: getting pizza because we were too weak to change out the gas’s grill, waiting 5ever for food at dinner, and watching the entire Flowers in the Attic series.

August

School started back up, and at the kick-off for all the teachers, I won $500 in a drawing of all the people who hadn’t used a sick day last year!!!!!

And I didn’t even realize that I’d won $200 at the previous school board meeting in the same type drawing!!!!

New class started off with 85 students. It was a DREAM to be able to focus on individuals and not just herd cats.

I actually felt more confident in the classroom with my early units (poetry & our whole class novel).

September

Still felt confident in the classroom!

I got my testing scores back from the previous year (this shit takes 5ever and it’s dumb) and did better in about the only way I could have, so that was good to see.

I had about 10 county people in my classroom (principals, academic coaches, etc) to see a certain style of teaching ELA that the county is working on. It’s basically making sure that teachers keep students engaged in complex text (which is what I do almost every day anyway) and I had been to two of these trainings already, so I knew what sort of lesson worked. Well...they LOVED it!!! The kids were in small groups and did SO GOOD discussing evidence/answering questions (they all got candy afterwards) and I got some good feedback about how I talk to my students. Then that same day the superintendent came in my room (one of several rooms he visited while doing his yearly observation on the principal). That visit was super unannounced, but still fine.

The academic coach got rid of my classroom’s desks and found tables and chairs instead!!!! My classroom is tiny and weird shaped, so this works SO MUCH BETTER.

I help coach volleyball (aka I keep the books) and the girls won district (beating out a team with a redneck grandma in the stands who literally came up to our girls and yelled at them for cheering on their own damn team in the previous game). They didn’t do so well at sectionals, but that’s ok.

October

Holy shit I won another $200 in that drawing!!! And this time my parents let me buy them plane tickets so we could see family over Christmas.

LESLIE ODOM JR CAME TO MY CITY AND HE PERFORMED BEAUTIFUL MUSIC AND I WAS THERE AND I DIED

Got to see a lot of family at my cousin’s ‘wedding party’ (he got married last year in Europe since he met his now wife over there, and wanted to have a family party here). I learned that my uncle and his son dance exactly the same at the same level of alcohol.

November

I should have known something was up when my first 9 weeks went so well. Apparently my county is in the bottom tier for the state, and now everyone is freaking out (never mind that the data to support this was mONTHS LATE AND BASED ON STANDARDIZED TESTS WHICH WERE A CLUSTERFUCK TO BEGIN WITH) so there was a lot of school stress during this time.

Nice things though- got to see friends when their baby was baptized and went home for Thanksgiving, where my dad came into the Catholic Church.

I organized most of the 8th grade field trip for the semester- going to see “A Christmas Carol” put on by my old college’s theatre. I was stressed the entire time because if something went wrong it would be on ME, but it was absolutely wonderful and I cried which honestly surprised me. We went to the local mall for our lunch and it was good to see the kids just relax. It was a great field trip and several people including the principal thanked me for my hard work which felt great after a hard month.

December

School was nothing but survival mode per usual.

Hosted the Christmas party for my friend group at church and it was a lot of fun.

The actual break was fast- we flew to Texas with one of my mom’s sisters and her family to visit their brother and his family. I hadn’t been to Texas since high school, so it was fun to explore and eat good food.

My final count for books was 93 (67 new and 26 reread) (I’m trying to finish an audiobook I’m borrowing from the library but I still have 80 minutes left and literally 4 hours to finish it so we’ll see!!!).

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #2017

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thetwistofmelancholy · 7 years

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Rant time

Ok, disclaimer: I’ve been away for a while. I haven’t worked in public schools since 2010... And maybe all public schools are not like the place I am currently working. However, I am now at an afterschool program for at-risk kids. They told me that the kids in this program are under-performing in school (although some of them are very smart and I’ve seen their EXCELLENT report cards) and that they need extra instruction after school. This program is free for these kids because of a grant. In order for the grant to be given for another year, the kids are going to be tested in a few weeks to see if they have improved since their mid-year test. We have to prove that the program is working, essentially.

Now, for the rant.

1. These kids come in at 4:15 after being in school all day. They are given a snack, and then they are supposed to do homework or do a math program on an iPad. This lasts until 4:45. From 4:45-5pm I WAS doing yoga, and then from 5- 5:30 I was doing a lesson from a workbook. I even got mats donated from O2 Fitness, so all my students had a mat. From 5:30-6 they would just do fun stuff as their parents came to pick them up. They usually played Silent Ball or a game where they hid something and the other kids tried to find it.

2. Because the end of the year testing is coming up soon, the powers that be (the two women who run the program) have determined that there is no time for yoga and that the lesson needs to be one hour instead of 30 minutes. Important note: the LESSON is from a workbook, and it’s basically reading a story and answering multiple choice questions based on the story. AKA.... BORING.

3. These kids are 7-8 years old. I just looked up the average attention span for this age group: 2-5 minutes. But in this program, they are supposed to read and answer questions in a book for ONE HOUR. I can SEE how frustrated they get, and how distracted they are after 30 minutes. It’s like there is absolutely no point in going further, but the people who run the program think I am supposed to keep yelling at them to sit still and be quiet until we are done with the hour long lesson. I can see how sad they look, and it breaks my heart. I just watched a video about kids in Finland who speak multiple languages and go to school for just four hours a day because the education-decision-makers want their kids to play and BE HAPPY.

4. Let’s talk about this workbook for a minute. Yesterday, I got two out of six questions wrong. Today, the same thing. ME. A high school English teacher with two degrees, pursing a masters in English. Here were the questions:

The story we read was about how birds got their colors. Basically, there was a Big Bird (like a god) who looked around, saw that all of the birds were gray, and decided to give them colors. So the jay asked to be blue, the oriole asked to be orange, and after all of the colors were given out, the finch was sad because he didn’t get a color. So Big Bird gave him a little bit of all of the leftover colors.

Question 1: The author’s purpose was

a. to describe

b. to explain

c. to persuade

d. to entertain

Ok, so I chose D. I mean, this is not a true story, so it’s clearly for entertainment, right? No. The answer was B.

Question 2: What does this author want the reader to know?

a. how the birds got their colors

b. how the finch became multi-colored

c. that birds are greedy

d. that Big Bird was generous

Ok, I was a little confused because it seemed that A and B were both true, but I chose A. Wrong. The answer was B.

What. the. f*&(*^*%&(*&????

This test is supposed to be for 2nd graders and is supposed to determine if their reading skills are improving!!!!????? This is crap. I don’t care if they can’t answer these questions - this is not a good test of reading skills. This is a STUPID test.

Also, the kids (because they are just in 2nd grade) still have that beautiful desire to try hard and get all of the answers right. When they get them wrong, they get SO SAD. And I want so badly to tell them that the workbook is stupid, not them.

One of the smartest kids got three out of six wrong today and he came to the conclusion that he was bad at reading. Great. THIS is what he’s learning. That he’s bad at reading.

5. I was getting really frustrated with the two ladies who run the program coming in and constantly making changes. One change (about a month ago) was that the 2nd graders were told they were not allowed to go outside for recess. That this program was educational, not play time. They were told that the younger kids can go out because they have more energy, but they were older and needed to study. So I went out and bought the book The Boxcar Children, and I decided that after we were done with the lesson, I would take them outside (for fresh air) and I would read to them, because I LOVED that book when I was little. Well, that only lasted two days.

They then made another change and told us that after the one hour lesson, the students needed to read alone, in silence. I was not allowed to read to them. This is AFTER they have just read and answered questions for AN HOUR. They are then supposed to READ IN SILENCE. So we only got through two chapters of The Boxcar Children.

Oh, one thing that they LOVED to do from 5:30-6 was math problems on the board. (They love writing on the whiteboard - I guess it makes them feel like a teacher. But that was fine, because they were doing math.) Nope, can’t do that anymore.

6. I neglected to mention that these kids come in wanting so badly just to TALK to someone. One of my students always wants to tell me about her day. But there is NEVER time for me to talk to them. She was really upset one day, so I told her to sit down and write out all of the things she was feeling. She wrote me a note about how she didn’t think anyone at school liked her. I wrote her a note back when I went home that night and gave it to her the next day. This is the only way I get to have meaningful conversations with them, although I know that is what they need -so much more than a stupid workbook. This is the same girl who told me that she never gets to see her mom because her mom lives in Virginia and that she, her brother and her dad got kicked out of their apartment because her dad yelled at them too much.

7. I was told today that I was “too nurturing”, and that the kids sensed that so they tried to take advantage of me. Her examples were:

-M (I am not going to write his full name) always wants to put his head down in your lap.

-S wanted to sit beside you today because her leg was hurting, and you were rubbing her back.

Ok, so M (EVERY SINGLE DAY) comes to me and asks me to read him a book. I’m not kidding. The child is in kindergarten and not only can he NOT READ, but he doesn’t even know all of his letters. He WANTS to learn, so badly. The first thing he says to me everyday is, “Can we read a book?” Oh yeah, he’s really taking advantage of me.

At 6:00, when they are supposed to be reading silently on their own, and M asks me to read a book to him, I’m supposed to say no. I’m supposed to tell him to read alone. First of all, like I have already said, HE CANNOT READ. And if I told him to go read by himself he would be rolling all over the floor, looking at the ceiling, because he is the worst case of ADD I have ever seen. The child needs to be read to. He needs someone to read him a book while pointing at the words and then asking him to sound out some of the easy words. But no, I cannot do that. I am not allowed. I feel like a CHILD in the program rather than a TEACHER.

These kids come to me for help with their homework and to get me to read to them. And because I actually do it, I am too nurturing and I am not authoritarian enough....

I’m so furious that I want to cry every day those ladies come in. One day, one of them came and yelled at my 2nd graders because one of them threw a paper towel on the bathroom floor. She told them that they would never get to go outside if they kept acting like that.

I want to quit so badly, but I love those kids dearly. I know that they would be SO SAD if I left, so I can’t. I am staying to finish the school year, but I am counting down the days.

If this is what American education is like, I don’t want to raise my future children here.

Mature reflection that comes after my anger subsides: Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe these kids DO need to read and answer questions to get better at reading/writing. Maybe talking to me or having a counseling session or a yoga class wouldn’t help as much as I think. I am not an expert in elementary education after all... Maybe these women do know best and I should stop acting like I’m the master of all things education.

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