a whole vlog as well :((((
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god the announcement of hnk (houseki no kuni/land of the lustrous) has got me in shambles,,, i haven't read the chapters after the 10 000 years hiatus so i gotta catch up (actually I'll probably re-read the whole thing)
‼️rambling incoming‼️
imo, hnk is one of the best series for deep psychological analysis,,, it had such a deep impact on me when i first read it (like 3 years ago) and still remains in my top best/favorites series 🥹🥹 i could ramble abt it for so long,,, the process of one losing bit by bit the parts of themselves and replacing it with something else (both physically and metaphorically) in an endless need to help others, but also as an own selfish wish to become better than who they used to be. Then looking back, and realizing things were so much simpler back then, and mourning that past self. (The fact that all of this revolves around their self-hatred and the belief that they're worthless is just. It's so heartbreaking to me. They've become so desperate for affirmation and yet still keeps getting hurt, by others and by themself too.)
i have too many feelings about the manga 😭😭 im losing myself to the brainrot, help-
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okay no but thinking about ritsu with tourette’s, right? and this boy is like… the king of suppression because he feels like he needs to be the perfect student and son and all that jazz and he’s also so embarrassed by the fact that he can’t control his body. so he suppresses like there’s no tomorrow and it hurts so much but he does it anyways. he lets himself tic at home, but even then he’s so used to suppression he forces it to be mild so his family thinks it’s better than it is. he lets loose more in his room by himself, but even then he sometimes has trouble doing it. he frequently has tic attacks in his room:/
anyways so let’s say one day mob and reigen and serizawa and teru and tome and shou and dimple are all at spirits and such, right? and like ritsu has student council stuff or something idk anyways and serizawa asks reigen where he gets his fidget toys because one of his classmates has ts and has been searching but can’t find any they like. and before reigen can respond, mob speaks up and is like “oh you should ask ritsu” and everyone just. stares at him because reigen has like a box of fidget toys in his office and an individual stress ball for each person and ritsu has quite literally never used them. and they’re like “why?” so mob is like “he has some fidget toys in his room—he doesn’t really take them places. i don’t know why he doesn’t. they really help his ts”. and everyone just stares x2
so eventually, reigen is like “ritsu has ts???” and mob just cocks his head and says “yes??? did you guys not know this?” and absolutely NONE of them knew he had ts because ritsu is THAT good at suppressing and if he’s in a position where he can’t suppress, he finds a way to leave so he’s alone. and like mob didn’t fully realize that ritsu was suppressing because he lives with ritsu and sometimes hears it from his room and sees it at dinner and he notices the little signs that other people don’t see unless they know and he’s like “you… really didn’t know??? does he not tic around you guys?” and then everyone comes to the realization that ritsu is HARDCORE suppressing
anyways i think it’d be sweet if reigen sat down and talked with him and ritsu is super stand-offish at first and snappy and then reigen says something like “we’d rather have you as you are—you don’t need to try to be the perfect ritsu because you’re already the perfect ritsu” or something along those lines. and ritsu starts having a breakdown and like it takes awhile for him to be comfortable ticcing in public. he starts small with the spirits and such gang and then slowly lets it happen during school and stuff and everyone is just. so proud of him. he’s less tense all the time and it helps him be more vocal about when he’s in pain and needs help and he starts to actually use his fidget toys and. yeah. feelings.
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God, I love Charlie so much. We’re meant to be together I think… Like, we just both make each other so happy. And I’ve hit a point now where I can’t imagine myself without him… he’s become too ingrained in me. Things about myself that were totally separate from anyone else are associated with him now. The parts of myself that I kept to myself and kept hidden bc I worried they were too silly or childish or bad. He’s seen them and held them gently. And now they’re his. I… I never want to be without him again. I never want to go back to the life I had before him. I just wanna spend forever with Charlie. Forever and ever 🥺❤️
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We literally switched places lol catie 😭😭😭 like you've been drawing a lot lately(WHICH ISNSO AWESOME IBLOVE YOUR ART AND SKETCHES SOSOSO MUCH!!!>333) and I've been drawing so rarely like the a r t has been sucked out of me 😭😭😭😭
This message is just me admiring you arts and wishing you neverrr stop drawing !!!<33 not really a vettonso fan,didn't really know this ship existed until.well japan💀, but i can't stop looking at your art they are soosoososos cute ESPECIALLY THE BEE NANDO AND SEB FLOWERR HHJDHSH THAT WAS CUTTTE 🥺🥺🥺🥺
drawww >:3333 👍
Art block is the absolute worst isn't it, Elle???? 😭😭😭😭 I totally empathize with you because for a while I feel like I could only really finish drawings once a month or, most times, even less than that. I guess inspiration runs out and you need to revitalize yourself!! It's always good to take a break imo bcs forcing it just makes you frustrated. So I really hope you can get your motivation back 🥺🥺 it might take a while but god it's so good when it hits you again 💕💕
But yes Vettonso!!!! Such a sleeper ship imo!! I kinda kept it in the back of my mind for a while and didn't really do much with it bcs its such a small ship. But then suddenly got hit with it very deep right after Monza I think? Its very very very fun to draw for a small ship bcs I feel so connected with everyone 🥺 it's our little gang y'know!!!! The bee/flower art...soooooo funny to me oh my god, I was dying while drawing it. Like I said to Athy I mostly just like drawing my AU stuff but my god it was so fun to draw super relevant stuff this weekend!!! Also so fun to ensnare people in the vettonso brainrot 🤭🤭 yes yes look at them, look upon my boys >:)
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After spending most of the summer actively trying NOT to listen to Turnabout: an Ace Attorney Musical (so as to let some other musicals have a chance to exist in my brain lmAO), listening to all my favorite songs from it in a row has been a vaguely religious experience
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okay so like the thing is. Nothing in this world is going 2 stop me from being silly and needlessly dramatic at all times nothing. it is simply how i am. i will not change this for anyone. However. whenever ppl r like openly kind and/or supportive of me being a silly little guy it makes me want 2 bawl my fucking eyes out LIKEEEEEE idk what it is idk!!!! just kidding i do know what it is but thats a little Too personal for tumblr dot com. i am not used 2 ppl actually genuinely liking and or supporting me being silly so just know that if u have ever done that (the vast majority of u have) it means the World to me. and yes it meaning the world to me is silly in of itself but what can i say im a silly little guy
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