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#got some not so great news today so i once again wrote something to comfort myself
changbinsboiledegg · 6 months
Note
awh i really love your comfort fics! is it okay if i request where skz s/o is deaf? sorry if that's weird but you don't have to do this if you don't want too :)
also please remember to take care of yourself before i find you and eat you
Nooo it’s not weird at all. I have a deaf relative so I don’t find it weird. Also thank youuuu! Feedback means a lot to me! :,) I WILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, I don’t wanna get eaten yet. You do the same though!!!! 🫶☺️
GN Deaf! Reader X SKZ
Warnings: reader is deaf. Some have hearing aid mentions, others the reader is just rawdogging it bc… well, idk. Variety?, two members get confrontational to defend reader. Mostly just fluffy moments skz would have with a deaf s/o.
Note: I’m not deaf myself, I’m just basing this off of my relatives experience and what I’ve researched so please let me know of any inaccuracies! I want to be as respectful as possible. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy and as always, if no one’s told you today, ily! 🫶
Bold = words said in sign language.
Italics = notes app, written notes, or text messages.
♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎
Chan
“You look great.” Chan carefully signed, making sure you saw.
You smiled at his compliment and signed back, “thank you. You too.”
Chan reached for your hand, taking it in his and leading you over to a bench in the park you two met up at.
He sat down after you did and shifted to face you, raising his hands as he prepared to sign again.
“What do you want to do today?” You could tell all he wanted to do was make sure you’re happy and having fun.
You started to sign back, but wasn’t sure just how much sign language he knew, so you pulled out your phone and typed your response in the notes app.
‘There’s that amusement park that I’ve been wanting to check out?’
Passing your phone to Chan, he read it and smiled, nodding when he saw you were looking at him.
“Me too.”
Lee Know
You and Minho were in a busy café when someone had bumped into you and immediately got annoyed and started to yell at you, “get out of the way!”
You were unaware, already having had gotten over being bumped into but this person harshly grabbed your shoulder to make you look at them.
You read their lips, feeling frightened that someone was this upset when they were the ones who bumped into you.
Minho immediately stepped in between you and this angry person and calmly but sternly glared down at them, crossing his arms.
“You’re seriously yelling at a deaf person for something you did? You look stupid and you sound stupid.” Minho spoke, but you were of course unaware of what was being said.
You looked back at the line, seeing you and Minho were about to be next to order and tugged his sleeve. He looked back at you, giving you a small smile as the angry person quickly left.
“We are next.” You signed, then nodded towards the counter. Minho put his arm around your shoulders as you two walked up to the counter once the person in front of you had finished ordering.
Changbin
You read the lyrics Changbin wrote, trying to imagine the melody, while also feeling his feelings in his words.
You were always the first one to read any lyrics Changbin wrote— even if you weren’t near. He’d wait for you.
Changbin had his body facing you, watching your fascinated expressions before handing back the page he wrote the lyrics on.
“I just read song of the year.” You texted him with a grin. Changbin opened the message and immediately grinned with you.
“Thank you.” He said out loud before realizing his mistake. He quickly started to text an apology, as well as the ‘thank you’ he meant for you.
But you put your hand on his and stopped his typing. You began to type a new message.
“I understood you.”
Changbin felt silly for panicking at a simple mistake. Of course you understood. If it wasn’t a complex sentence and as long as he enunciated his words, you could read his— or anyone’s lips when talking.
“Sorry.” He signed, to which you shook your head with a smile.
Hyunjin
Hyunjin had his head in your lap, enjoying the quiet as he read a book while you played with his hair, on your phone.
He occasionally hummed out a tune, flipping the pages and glancing up at you every now and then to see if you were still doing alright with his head on your lap.
You scrolled through social media, still absentmindedly playing with his hair. Hyunjin paused his reading just to admire you and it took you a second to realize he was looking directly at you, a fond smile on his face.
“What?” You asked, slowly so he’d understand.
Hyunjin gently grabbed your hand that was in his hair and placed a kiss on the palm of your hand.
“Nothing.” He mouthed slowly, enunciating the word and waiting a few seconds before returning to his book.
You placed your hand back in his hair before leaning down to kiss his forehead.
Han
“You would not believe the day I just had!” Jisung started off, rambling about his day and pacing back and forth, occasionally throwing his hands up as he vented.
You watched on, not saying a word as you read his lips here and there but nothing made sense as you couldn’t hear a thing he said nor could you grasp the context of what it was he was rambling about.
“I went to the exit but they still wouldn’t let me in because I didn’t have clearance even though I’m— oh shit, I’m so sorry, I totally forgot!” Jisung abruptly stopped when he saw you in your confusion.
He fumbled for his phone and quickly typed up everything he just vented to you about, handing you the phone.
He sat beside you as you read the entire rant about his day for a solid ten minutes before finally handing the phone back to him.
“I’m sorry.” He signed an apology, mortified that he momentarily forgot you were deaf in the midst of his frustrations.
You pulled out your phone to type a message, laughing a little.
“It’s okay, it happens.” Once he read that, you typed another message, “I love you, dork.”
Felix
“Hello, love. I made you lunch. It’s in the container in the fridge, just remember to heat it up first! - Lix”.
It was the first sticky note— of many, that you’d see during the day. Felix usually left sticky notes before he left with different messages on each.
You got up and got ready for the day, adding that note to a secret box where you kept every note he’s ever left you, unbeknownst to him.
You saw his next note on the bathroom mirror, immediately smiling when you read the words.
“I don’t have to see you to know you look breathtaking ;) - Lix”.
You took it off the mirror and continued getting ready, walking to your closet door and seeing another note.
“You look amazing in anything you wear. Don’t overthink your outfit. <3 - Lix”.
You felt your heart flutter, choosing an outfit and adding the sticky notes to your box.
You were ready to head out, making sure your hearing aids were on properly and saw another note on your front door.
“Have a great day, love. I’ll see you tonight. You look so amazing right now and I’m so proud of you. - Lix”.
This note, you placed in your wallet to help you get through the day.
Seungmin
Seungmin always had his notes app open when you were with him, just in case there was something he wanted to say that he hadn’t learned to sign yet.
One hand around his phone and one around your shoulders as he held the door open for you, entering the restaurant you were eating at.
Once you two were seated, the waiter came to your table, asking, “what would you both like to drink?”
“Water for me and,” Seungmin looked at you as you pointed to the drink you wanted. The waiter wondered why you weren’t being verbal and asked you again.
Seungmin sighed, wondering if he should tell the waiter you were deaf or let him figure it out on his own.
“And for you?” The waiter asked, clearly trying to get you to talk. You didn’t hear him, having moved on to what meal you were going to order.
Seungmin tapped your hand, catching both yours and the waiter’s attention and signed, “He’s being pretty rude, don’t you think?”
The waiter didn’t understand what Seungmin had signed, but it was then he knew now why you pointed at what you wanted, rather than being verbal. You nodded slowly at Seungmin, a bit confused since you hadn’t realized the situation.
“I would like to request a new waiter, please.” Seungmin politely told the waiter after.
I.N
You had originally wanted to surprise Jeongin with his favorite takeout and was excited to bring it to him and ear with him.
The problem was, your hearing aids batteries died in the middle of ordering, leaving the world around you silent.
The cashier was getting impatient, repeating the same question as you were panicking.
“One second…” you spoke out loud, hoping it came out right. You texted Jeongin the situation, your surprise now spoiled, and within a matter of a few seconds, he called you.
“Wait, I’m going to text you.” You spoke again, shaking and typing the words, “I’m putting you on speaker phone. Please order and answer the questions she asks.”
The cashier tried her best to keep her irritation in check, repeating what you had ordered prior to him calling you.
Jeongin listened carefully, his mouth watering when he heard the names of the food being listed.
“That sounds right.” Jeongin smiled, hearing the register ringing up. He stayed on the phone as he heard you pay and move out of line to wait for your order.
“Thank you.” You frowned, wishing it could still be a surprise for him. Jeongin hung up and immediately texted you.
“No, thank you. I know you meant it as a surprise, but I’m happy either way.”
You smiled a little, feeling a bit more cheered up. Jeongin started to type again, a new message appearing,
“Even without food, I’m still grateful to just be with you.”
♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎
Note 2: Y’all, I firmly believe if skz had a deaf s/o, they’d for sure learn sign language. You can’t tell me they wouldn’t.
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader
Prompt: Ice skating for the first time ❄️⛸️
Warning: Fluff, friends in love
A/N: As a person who can’t ice skate, I would love for Eddie to teach me. So I wrote this little fic about it. I hope y’all like it 🖤
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Knock. Knock. Knock.
You jumped in your seat from your place on your small couch as you heard the loud banging coming from your front door. A small, bright, smile pulled at your lips as you jumped up and bounded towards the sound, knowing it could only be one person. And there, bouncing on his toes on your front steps as he hummed a Dio song to himself, stood Eddie Munson, your new- and only- friend here in Hawkins.
You had just moved into the trailer park(and Hawkins) about two months ago for a fresh start with your mom after a nasty divorce with your dad and Wayne and Eddie came over when the two of you were bringing in your furniture to offer their help. As Eddie helped you move your belongings into your small new room the two of you chatted and found you had a lot in common. Conversation came easily between you and you both soon found yourselves laughing and joking together as you worked. Ever since that day you became practically inseparable, wanting to spend as much time together as you could.
You had friends from your old school, but you had never felt quite as connected to them as you now found yourself with Eddie. It felt like a perfect friendship. Well, it would except that it was now becoming painfully obvious to you that you were falling for him.
You fought those feelings constantly, just wanting your friendship to stay the same so you could keep Eddie in your life as you were afraid that he would reject you and you’d lose him if you gave into your feelings. But it became harder every day as the two of you grew closer and you felt yourself tipping over the edge of the precipice of falling in love with the metalhead. He was so sweet, and kind, and no one had ever made you laugh as much as him. Eddie Munson was easy to fall for and you didn’t have a parachute to catch yourself if you slipped and that scared you more than anything.
“Hey sweetheart!” He chirped, a dimpled smile appearing on his face once he saw you. “What are you up to today?” He asked as you ushered him in so he wouldn’t have to stay out in the cold afternoon air.
You tried to disregard the little somersault your stomach did at the pet name as you led him back to the couch, “I was just rewatching some holiday movies mom and I rented. Did you want to watch some with me? I can order us a pizza or something.” You suggested as Eddie plopped down next to you.
“While that sounds like a blast doll, I actually came over because I wanted to see if you wanted to go ice skating with me?” He asked, fidgeting with the rings on his left hand as he sent you a soft smile.
You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as you flushed, “I’ve actually never been ice skating.” You said, chewing on your lip bashfully.
“That’s okay, sweetheart!” He said quickly, placing his hand comfortingly on your bare arm. “I’ll help you, it’s easy, I promise!”
You felt your heart thunder in your chest at the contact, failing to ignore the way the comforting warmth of his calloused hands and the opposing ice cold sting of his rings made a bolt like electricity shoot down your spine. “I-I would love to Eddie.” You said, looking away and flushing again as you stuttered. Not seeing the way Eddie bit back a small grin as you did, loving the effect he had on you.
“Great! You should get changed, it’s cold out there. Don’t want you to getting sick, gorgeous.” He said as he squeezed your arm lightly.
“Right, right. I’ll be right back.” You said, quickly jumping up and shuffling out of the room, painfully aware of the way your heart ached at the loss of his touch and the compliment he gave you. You shook your head once you got into your room and closed your door, annoyed at the way your body was reacting to being around your friend. This was going to be harder to ignore than you thought.
Meanwhile, the metalhead in your living room couldn’t help from smiling like an idiot to himself as he waited for you on the couch. Eddie Munson was smitten. Smitten with you and the way being around you made his heart race and stomach flip. Eddie wasn’t fighting the way he was falling for you like you were, he was diving off the cliff. Fully ready to be everything he can for you. But preferably as your boyfriend. And this was the first step in that mission.
~
The two of you found yourselves sometime later at a small outdoor winter festival at the Hawkins fairgrounds. A large temporary ice rink was in the center, full of parents with their children, friends hanging out on winter break, and couples skating hand in hand around the rink. You beamed as you looked around the bustling grounds, surprised to find that something like this happened in Hawkins, and completely unaware of the way Eddie was watching you with a large smile of his own, wishing he had his camera right now so he could remember the look on your face and the way your eyes were shining in the twinkling lights. God, you were beautiful.
Eddie led you to a little stall next to the rink where a bored looking teen was renting out the skates for visitors. “Two sets of skates please.” He said, placing a crumpled up bill on the counter and shooting you a soft smile.
After getting the right sized skates and putting them on at a bench nearby, you found yourself standing at the entrance to the ice fidgeting with your cold hands. You felt wobbly on the blades already and your anxiety was rising at the thought of falling in front of Eddie and all these people.
As if feeling your anxiety, Eddie nudged you with his shoulder, a dazzling smile greeting you as you turned to face him, “It’ll be alright, sweetheart. I’m right here. I won’t let you fall. Ever.” He promised, holding out his hand for you to hold.
You felt your stomach somersault again as you reached for his hand, his fingers automatically lacing with yours comfortingly. That jolt ran through your again as you felt the sting of his cold rings against your skin causing goosebumps to raise along your body as he helped you carefully on to the ice.
You were even more wobbly on the ice, barely able to move forward without Eddie pulling you along. If Eddie wanted a camera before, he wanted one even more now. He had never seen something as cute as the way you looked trying to skate for the first time and knew this would be a favorite memory of his for a long time.
“Here, let me help you.” He chuckled, letting go of your hand and moving so he was behind you before gingerly placing his hands on your sides. Thankfully missing the way your breath hitched in your throat when he touched you. “This okay doll?” He asked, his face momentarily popping into your view from the side.
You flushed again with a goofy little smile, “Yeah- yeah, totally fine Eds.”
“Great. Okay, hold on to the railing over here. And bend your knees just a little for me okay sweetheart?” He said. You followed his instructions as he pushed you along the ice. “Now push one foot out-” you did. “Now the next.” You did again, repeating the action back and forth as you picked up a little more speed. “Good job, great job.” He praised you excitedly.
“Eddie! I’m actually doing it!” You gasped out happily, smiling brightly as Eddie chuckled near your ear. You didn’t want this moment to end, you knew you shouldn’t let yourself sink into this feeling, how safe and right it felt in Eddie’s arms, it’s like you belonged there. But it felt so right.
“You’re doing amazing, sweet thing. Amazing.” He cooed. His breath ghosted along your neck from his proximity and another jolt ran through your body when suddenly a fearful gasp was pulled from your lungs as your leg slipped from under you and you started falling backwards.
“Woah, woah there.” Eddie said as he quickly caught you around your waist and pulled you flush with him, saving you from your fall.
Your hands landed on his as he held you close and you craned your neck to look at him. His eyebrows were slightly pulled together in concern but he had a gentle smile on his face as your eyes locked. The world felt like it could fall away around you as you looked at him, “Don’t worry sweetness, I got you. Remember, I wont let you fall.” He said, his eyes shining with affection as a gooey smile appeared on your face. It was too late for you though.
You already fell.
Taglist: @srapalestina @yvonneeeee @cityofidek @anaisweird @mrslovesmayahawke @harrys-tittie @becca-alexa @catacina
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Klopp’s Journal
Short blurb I wrote as LFC therapy. Hurt no comfort
Tags: @millythegoat, @alissonbecksfan234, @moomin279, @rubybecker-rb2
Milner sighed as he rummaged through the piles of files in the away office. It was another frustrating result; and it felt worse, too, since it came directly after that huge rout of United.
He reached for a stack of papers when his hand hit something leathery. Curious as to what it could be, he dug through the stack until he revealed a black, leather-bound book.
Milner regarded the book with suspicion; he didn’t remember seeing this with the plans. He could only assume it was Klopp’s plan book, since he’d seen him writing in it sometimes.
August 6, Jahr 2022
Drew v. Fulham. Disappointing start, we conceded too many chances. Plans aren’t working. Bad omen, maybe?
August 15, Jahr 2022
Another draw. Darwin received stupid red card. I don’t care WHAT somebody says to you, going all Zinedine Zidane on him isn’t the answer Darwin! I like you, but you didn’t need to do that.
Lucho and Ali rescued us again. I don’t know what we’d do without them.
August 22, Jahr 2022
A loss today. I don’t want to talk about it, but hint: it involves manure with a capital M.
By the third entry, Milner was pretty sure this was a journal of some sort. He started to put it down, but part of him urged him to keep turning the pages. His curiosity won the day, and he continued reading, skipping a few pages ahead to save time.
Oktober 9, Jahr 2022
Arsenal BEAT us. Lucho’s injured, Trentski’s injured and the refs totally cheated. And I hurt Milly’s feelings, could today get any worse?
We beat this guy before by four goals to nil. Now we lost. Ugh, I never should’ve sold Sadio.
“It’s not your fault. I’m just being a grumpy curmudgeon as always,” Milner chuckled wryly, thinking back to the Arsenal game. He’d been feeling insecure about his place, and as usual Klopp had reassured him that he wasn’t just a surplus. 
Oktober 12, Jahr 2022
We beat the Rangers 1-7 away. Harvey got his first goal and I’m really happy for him. However, I can’t celebrate yet. Every time I celebrate a win it turns out feeling like a fluke. I go in with the same tactics and the boys save me. They did a great job, not me.
“That’s not what we think,” Milner muttered to himself. “You do so much for us.”
Once again, he flipped a few pages forward in time. A draft blew in from the open window, flipping the pages further forward.
November 12, Jahr 2022
The boys were pretty stable and played well today. Pep did such a good job down there, he had all that energy. Still…he’ll be surprised when I take him out to dinner tonight! I’m excited like I’m still in high school, this is weird.
Milner fondly rolled his eyes at the entry. “Our loveable idiot of a manager in a nutshell.”
Milner turned the page again, and he realized that the next entries would be talking about the World Cup. He’d learned that Klopp had been pretty depressed by the team leaving, both for friendlies and the international tournament. So he skipped a large chunk of the diary and ended up in the New Year, on a page with sporadic dots in the paper.
Februar 4, Jahr 2022
I led the boys down the tunnel again and to a loss versus Wolves. It was limp, energyless and against the philosophy I tried to install.
They say the fish rots from the head, and this is solely my fault. I didn’t do anything, I just stood utterly by.
My boys, I’m so sorry. You never disappointed me—only some of your actions. If you want me to leave, I will. I’ll leave for the greater good, I promise you. I can’t take much more of this. The anxiety is killing me.
Milner gasped as he realized what Klopp had been thinking. Of course their manager wasn’t entirely guilt free, but he wasn’t the whole guilty party, too. Nearly every player on the squad had been involved in a bad game or individual error at one point in the season, and the referees hadn’t been completely fair either. It was a perfect storm that year for Liverwool: bad decisions, sloppiness, injuries, bad luck and bias had all cost them dearly during the season.
With a sigh, Milner flipped to the most recent entry. It had been after their 7-0 win vs. United—which now seemed like a fortnight ago.
März 05 (haha), Jahr 2022
I love my boys SO much, I can’t find words. I always loved them, but right now I feel a surging outpour of love that I haven’t felt in a while. Adoration can’t get enough of them relief thankfulness Love. Just like that.
If I had to choose between my boys and the job, I would all have us live together in Kirkby for the rest of history! Here’s hoping for beautiful days ahead.
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loquaciousquark · 1 year
Note
34.what do they get each other for gifts? (I would never pass up the opportunity to read you talk about fenhawke! hope your day gets better)
Hawke's gifts to Fenris are ruthlessly practical. Especially in the beginning of their relationship, I don't think his discomfort at sentimentality would be outweighed by...well, the sentimentality itself. I just read him as so private with his feelings, even to himself/Hawke a lot of the time, and anything that forces him to confront those feelings straight out in the open is going to be super hard for him at first. If it's known, it can be harmed, you know? If someone realizes a slave loves something, what better way to hurt them than to take that thing and shatter it? He doesn't want Hawke to be hurt, sure, but he's also deathly afraid to open himself up that kind of pain.
But hey, no one's going to look twice at a new penknife. No one's going to wonder why he got the Champion a new blade for the end of her staff. But flowers? Jewelry? Books of poetry? Oh dear, what a lovely exposed heart ripe for bursting. No one could look at that kind of gift and think he'd be anything but vulnerable there.
(I wrote a little about this here.)
Eventually, she coaxes him to accept the finer things--not just sentimental things, but gifts worth a great deal of money too. She's such a generous person by nature and finds joy and fulfillment in meeting the needs of her friends (emotionally, mentally, and physically, and occasionally when she's not even wanted in the first place), and if she's given half a chance she'd spoil Fenris rotten. It takes a long time for them both to get there, though, and he's not a very materialistic person, so when she does buy things for him (cloaks, weapons, books) it's often expected to be used for years and years, and the initial quality would reflect that.
Fenris's gifts to Hawke are practical as well in the start, but that's for lack of inspiration rather than outright unwillingness to experiment. For as reticent as he can be, once he starts really feeling safe/secure, I think he would be willing to pursue softer gifts sooner than Hawke expects. Again, he has so little experience with this, and there's probably some panic at the start for occasions where ceremonial gifts are expected (holidays, birthdays--women like...what, perfume? does Hawke want perfume? Is that a thing she'd use? I've never seen her wear perfume in her life, why would that occur to me), but small spontaneous gifts of the was-thinking-about-you-today sort I think he'd be quite fine with quite quickly.
I wrote about this over here in a response to Jade (second fill).
I don't think he'd ever be comfortable with public gift-giving or public adulation--he ain't the one suggesting all the Applebee's waiters come out with cake and sparklers on Hawke's birthday, is what I'm saying. Hawke loves things like fresh flowers, edible treats, going on a trip together--for her the gift is as much the experience of receiving and enjoying the thing as it is the fact that she now owns some item--maybe even more so. I think she'd really value the sentimentality of the gifts over their functionality, unless she had some very specific need.
This also, belatedly, makes sense with the wealth disparities; she would value the thought and affection more because post-Act-One she can buy anything she needs without thought. Plus, knowing someone spent a lot of money on her, who by every measurable metric has more than they do, would make her hideously uncomfortable.
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faithisthekey-23 · 10 months
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Hi brothers and sisters, I would love to share with you a poem that I wrote today (on 27th June 2023).
My Source Of Hope
Oh God, I really need some hope
Now, when everything tells me that it will not
Be at least fine, not at all
But it will stay the same as it was
I feel like these problems will never stop
So please, remind me in Whom I put my hope
You are God Almighty, You can do all things
You have helped a lot of people, including me
I am still here on earth only thanks to Your mercy and love
You have proven me that it's good as long as You're in control
You always take care of everything for You're the Creator of the whole world
So I will continue to trust in You and show You my love
For You are worthy of it, my Savior
When I was at my lowest and had scary images in my mind
You were The One Who tole me that it's not where my story of life stops
It's not where my testimony ends, but it's only the beginning
For greater things will come, there will still be a lot of blessings
You put Your hope deep inside of my heart
And You kept reminding me of it when something in me wanted to give up
You were always there
And reminded me that it will be okay
So why shouldn't I trust in what You say
Even after You took my hurt away
And made me see sense in living again?
When I wanted to hurt myself, You didn't let me do that
You were my Protector and let me feel Your love that Is surely great
You constantly gave me sings that it will be okay
For it's not the end, I will be never forsaken
I will never be left, never left heartbroken, on my own
There will always be You — my Living Water and Hope
You will never disappear, will always be close to me
For You are my my Living Source of Comfort, You always love me
Even when I keep on making mistakes over and over again
You don't judge me and hate me, but get rid of my pain
Then You make sure that I will come back to the right path
And simply not forget that it's only thanks to You, that I got through the day
When people mocked me for who I am
When they were taking photos to laugh at my appearance
You were constantly there by my side
You always knew how hurt and anxious I was most of the time
There was no one who stood up for me, people were leaving me
But You never left even though You knew every sin of mine and every symptom of my disease
You knew about it all but it didn't push You away from me
Moreover, You helped me to get to know You more through this storm, for You do not see
The way the world sees, but You see the heart of a human
Once anyone asks You for forgiveness and repents with Your help, the old version of this person dies
And You forgot of how impure and sinfull this person was
The new creature — that's what is important in Your Holy Eyes
Just like You never push anyone away
You also hear all of my prayers
You know what's the best for me
And You take care of me
You never let the enemy steal from me
What You wanted me to have
The door that You left open, are always open
The door that You close are never opened
And forever I will be greatful for Your kindess
And the fact that You never stopped giving me Your Guidence
That's why I will always give You praise
For You are and will always be there, You never left
Even at my hardest times, the times of the tests
To see if I truly repented or not, You were there
No matter if I passed them or not, Your Presence never left me
But You continued to show me Your grace
And moreover, You still save
Me from the enemy's weapons and You say
That none of them will prosper, there is no way
That it will
For You have control over every single thing
You will never let satan hurt me
But You will send an angel to protect me
On Your behalf and You will guide me
Tell me wherever I should go to not let him hurt me
Nor open the door for him in my life, but always have the place for You in my heart
For my Lord, You are so Faithful
You are so Good, simply Wonderful
I keep on thinking whether there is a word
That can exactly describe that You're so Incredible
You are Awesome, Amazing, Fantastic
And there is nothing nor no one that is Greater
If someone says otherwise, that's just the enemy lying
He tries to make me run from You all the time, but You're a Better Fighter
You fight for me and win my battles, and You keep on looking for me when I get lost
You search for me, oh my Wonderful and Awesome, Good Shepherd
Oh, tell me, can there exist a love that is greater
Than Your love? I highly doubt it
For You even died on the cross to save me
You gave me eternal life and what do You want from me because of that?
Nothing more than just our friendship
You want me to tell You how my day goes, thank You and ask You for forgiveness if I sin
And You tell me to treat others the way I would love to be treated, love my human enemies
You want me to repent from all of my wicked ways
But You never disappear in this process
You keep on helping me all the time no matter what happens
Even when I fall short of the glory of Yours, oh God
Our sin crucified You, but You still show us Your Great love
Is there anything that I shouldn't be greatful for?
You have provided me food, home, family and people that I can talk to
Not forgetting about the fact that You're The One That I can always go to
When something seems fine, when something makes me feel hurt
I can always rely on You, for I am in Your Mighty Heart and You Are in mine
I could talk to You about how Wonderful You Are during the day and all night
But I still wouln't be able to thank You for the blessings that You've given me in my life
For is there a way that I could thank You for Your Presence and work on my heart
In every single year, month, week, day, hour, minute or second in my life, hearing every cry of mine
And comforting me when something didn't seem to end up fine, be alright?
I will never be able to thank You for the times in which You made me feel happiness
For all the times in which I felt anxious but You took it all away
I still remember when the demons were attacking me, when I got anxiety pannics
And kept on being afraid everywhere I went, sometimes prefered
To be anywhere else than home, for I was scared to be there in such a darkness
Only You know the full story of my life and only You know how You always kept helping me
Even when I wasn't obedient to You and ignored Your Word, even when I tried to
Run away from Your Presence at times when I felt too guilty to stand before You
You kept on drawing closer and closer to me, even though I rejected You and hardened my heart
You didn't give up on me, Were The One Who understood what I was going through and saw my hurt
When my family were telling others how lazy I am
That the only thing that I keep on doing is just laying
In my bed, You Were The One Who knew about every single tear that I shed
You Were The Only One Who knew what truly is behind this so called laziness
And You knew that it actually is the enemy making me depressed
You exactly knew what kind of thoughts were racing in my head
You knew how sometimes I didn't know what is waiting for me today
I was afraid that one day I will simply give up
But You were The Only One Who stayed and helped me to just get up
No one talked to me how to overcome it
I tried to do it my way, learning psychology — that's where I tried to seek help
It didn't worked, I only wasted my time
Wordly music, looking for ideal people and trying to make their own interests mine
Insecurities about my body, getting hurt by the opinions of other people, having traumas that were replying over and over
And activated by everything that could remind me of them
I was crying while spending time with my family being afraid that I will lose them
I used to have some crazy flashbacks that made me think that I am at the times when it all happened
I thought that I am in the past, right in the middle of this traumatic event even though I was safely laying in my bed
I kept on crying, still unsure if anyone from my family heard me
Family and friends — even though they tried to help me
Nothing could be done for me — that's what I had in my mind
Well, untill You found me again
I slowly learned what means to have hope for the better tommorow
With You I learned that not all of my days have to be filled with sorrow
Even though I got so used to crying inside every single day and sometimes at night
That it actually messed up my mind and made me think that it should stay like that
You were there to help me reach out for Your help
And You Became The One Who taught me how to do this step by step
It's still hard for me to know when You did it, but You took away all of my traumas
After more than two years of being lost, You found me and fixed my wounded heart
After all of this time, I finally didn't have to fake my smile
But was able to actually feel the happiness in the bottom of my heart
My low self-esteem — You took care of it too —
You actually made me see myself in the way I look from Your point of view
You revealed to me that I am a child of Yours
And I shouldn't be ashamed of the way I look
For You created me in a wonderful and fearful way
And You keep showing me Your Great love every single day
With You by my side, I finally realized
That it's not the problem in me, it's the darkness that I should fight
In the Mighty Name of Yours, for You Are The Way, Light and The Truth
You will free me from what steals the peace from my heart
And You will Be the Only True Source of My Light
Untill the very end of my whole life
And that's why Lord I want to give You praise forever
You are The Only One Who Were always there to save my day
When I had no hope, You Became my True Hope
When I kept on writing in poems that I have no place to call home, You said that there's someone to Whom I belong
When I was feeling miserable and had suicidal thoughts, kept on apologizing for my existence in my mind
You were there to slowly teach me that You have given me purpose in my life and that's why I shouldn't give up
When I felt lonely and thought that I'm only a burden, You kept reminding me that I am still loved by You
And when I felt worthless, You revealed to me that in You there is my worth
For how can I not feel loved when You actually died for me
So that I can be saved, feel the actual happiness
And have the chance to go to Heaven when there is eternal love, hope and peace?
Well, when I tell You and sing for You that I love You, You Are The One Who knows what I mean —
There is a story behind every day of my life and You know every single one of them
There is only One Reason of the smile that can be visible on my face
And that Is only You, my Holy Trinity Who gave me Your saving grace
I will never be able to give You the praise that You deserve
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shareyourkindness · 10 months
Text
Hi brothers and sisters, I would love to share with you a poem of mine. I wrote it today (on 27th June 2023).
My Source Of Hope
Oh God, I really need some hope
Now, when everything tells me that it will not
Be at least fine, not at all
But it will stay the same as it was
I feel like these problems will never stop
So please, remind me in Whom I put my hope
You are God Almighty, You can do all things
You have helped a lot of people, including me
I am still here on earth only thanks to Your mercy and love
You have proven me that it's good as long as You're in control
You always take care of everything for You're the Creator of the whole world
So I will continue to trust in You and show You my love
For You are worthy of it, my Savior
When I was at my lowest and had scary images in my mind
You were The One Who tole me that it's not where my story of life stops
It's not where my testimony ends, but it's only the beginning
For greater things will come, there will still be a lot of blessings
You put Your hope deep inside of my heart
And You kept reminding me of it when something in me wanted to give up
You were always there
And reminded me that it will be okay
So why shouldn't I trust in what You say
Even after You took my hurt away
And made me see sense in living again?
When I wanted to hurt myself, You didn't let me do that
You were my Protector and let me feel Your love that Is surely great
You constantly gave me sings that it will be okay
For it's not the end, I will be never forsaken
I will never be left, never left heartbroken, on my own
There will always be You — my Living Water and Hope
You will never disappear, will always be close to me
For You are my my Living Source of Comfort, You always love me
Even when I keep on making mistakes over and over again
You don't judge me and hate me, but get rid of my pain
Then You make sure that I will come back to the right path
And simply not forget that it's only thanks to You, that I got through the day
When people mocked me for who I am
When they were taking photos to laugh at my appearance
You were constantly there by my side
You always knew how hurt and anxious I was most of the time
There was no one who stood up for me, people were leaving me
But You never left even though You knew every sin of mine and every symptom of my disease
You knew about it all but it didn't push You away from me
Moreover, You helped me to get to know You more through this storm, for You do not see
The way the world sees, but You see the heart of a human
Once anyone asks You for forgiveness and repents with Your help, the old version of this person dies
And You forgot of how impure and sinfull this person was
The new creature — that's what is important in Your Holy Eyes
Just like You never push anyone away
You also hear all of my prayers
You know what's the best for me
And You take care of me
You never let the enemy steal from me
What You wanted me to have
The door that You left open, are always open
The door that You close are never opened
And forever I will be greatful for Your kindess
And the fact that You never stopped giving me Your Guidence
That's why I will always give You praise
For You are and will always be there, You never left
Even at my hardest times, the times of the tests
To see if I truly repented or not, You were there
No matter if I passed them or not, Your Presence never left me
But You continued to show me Your grace
And moreover, You still save
Me from the enemy's weapons and You say
That none of them will prosper, there is no way
That it will
For You have control over every single thing
You will never let satan hurt me
But You will send an angel to protect me
On Your behalf and You will guide me
Tell me wherever I should go to not let him hurt me
Nor open the door for him in my life, but always have the place for You in my heart
For my Lord, You are so Faithful
You are so Good, simply Wonderful
I keep on thinking whether there is a word
That can exactly describe that You're so Incredible
You are Awesome, Amazing, Fantastic
And there is nothing nor no one that is Greater
If someone says otherwise, that's just the enemy lying
He tries to make me run from You all the time, but You're a Better Fighter
You fight for me and win my battles, and You keep on looking for me when I get lost
You search for me, oh my Wonderful and Awesome, Good Shepherd
Oh, tell me, can there exist a love that is greater
Than Your love? I highly doubt it
For You even died on the cross to save me
You gave me eternal life and what do You want from me because of that?
Nothing more than just our friendship
You want me to tell You how my day goes, thank You and ask You for forgiveness if I sin
And You tell me to treat others the way I would love to be treated, love my human enemies
You want me to repent from all of my wicked ways
But You never disappear in this process
You keep on helping me all the time no matter what happens
Even when I fall short of the glory of Yours, oh God
Our sin crucified You, but You still show us Your Great love
Is there anything that I shouldn't be greatful for?
You have provided me food, home, family and people that I can talk to
Not forgetting about the fact that You're The One That I can always go to
When something seems fine, when something makes me feel hurt
I can always rely on You, for I am in Your Mighty Heart and You Are in mine
I could talk to You about how Wonderful You Are during the day and all night
But I still wouln't be able to thank You for the blessings that You've given me in my life
For is there a way that I could thank You for Your Presence and work on my heart
In every single year, month, week, day, hour, minute or second in my life, hearing every cry of mine
And comforting me when something didn't seem to end up fine, be alright?
I will never be able to thank You for the times in which You made me feel happiness
For all the times in which I felt anxious but You took it all away
I still remember when the demons were attacking me, when I got anxiety pannics
And kept on being afraid everywhere I went, sometimes prefered
To be anywhere else than home, for I was scared to be there in such a darkness
Only You know the full story of my life and only You know how You always kept helping me
Even when I wasn't obedient to You and ignored Your Word, even when I tried to
Run away from Your Presence at times when I felt too guilty to stand before You
You kept on drawing closer and closer to me, even though I rejected You and hardened my heart
You didn't give up on me, Were The One Who understood what I was going through and saw my hurt
When my family were telling others how lazy I am
That the only thing that I keep on doing is just laying
In my bed, You Were The One Who knew about every single tear that I shed
You Were The Only One Who knew what truly is behind this so called laziness
And You knew that it actually is the enemy making me depressed
You exactly knew what kind of thoughts were racing in my head
You knew how sometimes I didn't know what is waiting for me today
I was afraid that one day I will simply give up
But You were The Only One Who stayed and helped me to just get up
No one talked to me how to overcome it
I tried to do it my way, learning psychology — that's where I tried to seek help
It didn't worked, I only wasted my time
Wordly music, looking for ideal people and trying to make their own interests mine
Insecurities about my body, getting hurt by the opinions of other people, having traumas that were replying over and over
And activated by everything that could remind me of them
I was crying while spending time with my family being afraid that I will lose them
I used to have some crazy flashbacks that made me think that I am at the times when it all happened
I thought that I am in the past, right in the middle of this traumatic event even though I was safely laying in my bed
I kept on crying, still unsure if anyone from my family heard me
Family and friends — even though they tried to help me
Nothing could be done for me — that's what I had in my mind
Well, untill You found me again
I slowly learned what means to have hope for the better tommorow
With You I learned that not all of my days have to be filled with sorrow
Even though I got so used to crying inside every single day and sometimes at night
That it actually messed up my mind and made me think that it should stay like that
You were there to help me reach out for Your help
And You Became The One Who taught me how to do this step by step
It's still hard for me to know when You did it, but You took away all of my traumas
After more than two years of being lost, You found me and fixed my wounded heart
After all of this time, I finally didn't have to fake my smile
But was able to actually feel the happiness in the bottom of my heart
My low self-esteem — You took care of it too —
You actually made me see myself in the way I look from Your point of view
You revealed to me that I am a child of Yours
And I shouldn't be ashamed of the way I look
For You created me in a wonderful and fearful way
And You keep showing me Your Great love every single day
With You by my side, I finally realized
That it's not the problem in me, it's the darkness that I should fight
In the Mighty Name of Yours, for You Are The Way, Light and The Truth
You will free me from what steals the peace from my heart
And You will Be the Only True Source of My Light
Untill the very end of my whole life
And that's why Lord I want to give You praise forever
You are The Only One Who Were always there to save my day
When I had no hope, You Became my True Hope
When I kept on writing in poems that I have no place to call home, You said that there's someone to Whom I belong
When I was feeling miserable and had suicidal thoughts, kept on apologizing for my existence in my mind
You were there to slowly teach me that You have given me purpose in my life and that's why I shouldn't give up
When I felt lonely and thought that I'm only a burden, You kept reminding me that I am still loved by You
And when I felt worthless, You revealed to me that in You there is my worth
For how can I not feel loved when You actually died for me
So that I can be saved, feel the actual happiness
And have the chance to go to Heaven when there is eternal love, hope and peace?
Well, when I tell You and sing for You that I love You, You Are The One Who knows what I mean —
There is a story behind every day of my life and You know every single one of them
There is only One Reason of the smile that can be visible on my face
And that Is only You, my Holy Trinity Who gave me Your saving grace
I will never be able to give You the praise that You deserve
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miladyufo · 1 year
Text
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My reflection on 2022 and my goals for the new year, for me to read again next December:
Art-wise I don't see a dramatic improvement like I did last year. Maybe it's because I was still learning the basics in 2021, or because I was trapped in a room alone with nothing to do but draw. That was certainly a mixed blessing and I'm glad I got to devote so much time to learning a skill. Although I wasn't unhappy, long-term it's not good for me mentally; I'm feeling so much better now that I can see my loved ones and go exist in physical spaces again. It's funny to still be drawing out the story I wrote in 2020 while I was very paranoid and discontent. Actually I don't think 2020 me was wrong about things at all but being able to sit outside with my friends and have a meal together makes everything more bearable.
Working on that comic forces me to go outside my comfort zone frequently. But it also leaves me with no time to do studies or practice other things. I think it would be a good idea to take a small hiatus (1-3 months) to build my buffer back up and then resume regular uploads with smaller chapters. For 2023 you — me, using second-person for a minute because I need to tell myself this— should aim to finish up to the night beach scene (future you/me knows what we're referring to). If you go beyond that, great, but you have permission to take a slower pace and leave the climax, denouement and special chapters for 2024 if you want. After the epilogue you can decide if you feel like going further. Hidden Facers has a cool ending (imo) so it's fine to stop there, but if you start the second part you probably want to do the third part too.
Anyway, I did a short NSFW comic about a werewolf this year. I'm happy with the results and it was refreshing and fun to make. Although I have no idea where it should be uploaded or shared. For 2023 I'm planning to make a comic of similar length about an orc.
My (failed) goal for 2022 was to be more active on social media. I made accounts here and there and found lots of great people to follow but I can't be moved to post much myself. Insta feels like it's full of bots and twitter makes me dizzy. Tumblr might be my favorite (I like reading long-form rants) but I haven't used it much. Tiktok would probably shred what's left of my brain but maybe that would be fun?
With regards to my career, living situation, relationship etc. things are no different than they were at the beginning of the year. I am grateful to have had a steady and peaceful year, even if not much happened. I know my own life will be very different by next year's end and I hope that it's for the better. Conditions in my country are getting worse and in some cases collapsing. I hope at least to be able to take care of myself and the ones around me.
Writing out these paragraphs took a while. My thoughts must be more disorganized than I realized. It's mostly just elevator music up here right now. I used to write all the time— maybe I should try to write something like this at least once a month or so for my own sake. Actually, it could just be that I skipped breakfast and lunch today and it's my third coffee on an empty stomach. Over the holidays it's been all chocolate and coffee. Even so, you should try writing more anyway. I mean, I should try.
2022 personal review: A-
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Text
06/23/2022 (II)
Just this morning I was complaining about how my job has seemingly sucked away all of my time and prevented me from using what little of it that's left in the day to pursue anything constructive or fulfilling – leaving me feeling as if I’m wasting all of the days, weeks, and months that have been passing me by without taking me anywhere new.
Maybe I should have been more careful with what I wished for.
Because due to a scheduling error I got to finish work early and now have the rest of the day off… but I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know how to pass the time. I want something to do, anything to distract me from the emptiness of my own life... so why not continue to write that emptiness? I mean, just this morning I was bitching about how hard it is for me to make sense of my own mind when I have so little time to write anything. So I may as well make the most of this time now while I still can. I’ll never make figure out how I’m feeling if I don’t.
All day I’ve been thinking about what I wrote this morning – specifically when I offhandedly said something about how I don’t think I’ll ever be as happy as I was last summer. That statement doesn’t sit right with me. Because it’s not like the entirety of that summer was a happy one for me. The best days of my life all happened during that summer, granted. But they weren’t all happy. If that makes any sense. Like, there were a lot of days back then when I genuinely was as happy and care free as an adult can be… but I still have days like that, even now that everything that I loved so much about that summer has fallen apart. In fact I had a day like that just this past weekend, now that I think about it. But these moments of happiness & joy never last. They’re always nothing more than fleeting moments. And I always hope that in them I’ll discover some sort of epiphany that will lead me to the type of life that everyone around me seems to enjoy… but that never happens. Instead I just return to my regular bassline once the moment has come & gone. Moments that become nothing more than life-preservers that get tossed to me as I’m being swept down the river of my life so that I can have something to cling onto and pull myself out of the water long enough that I can catch enough breath before I'm once again pulled under.
Like, there was such much anxiety, fear & stress last summer. Yet I still look back at with such fond memories – even though some of the most heartbreaking days of my life occurred that summer. Like, I’ll never forget the day my best friend’s dog had to be put down. He was such a sweet and unique little soul, and in my own small way I loved him despite never having spent a great deal of time with him. And I loved him because I knew how much my friend loved him, and I saw how much joy & comfort he brought into their life. So it was an honor to have my friend bring me along on that awful final trip to the vet that day in August – but in all honesty there’s some part of me that wishes they hadn’t. Because not only was it incredibly distressing for me, but it’s also something that I’ll never be able to forget. It was a day just like today: warm and humid but overcast with light rain. So whenever we have a day like today that’s all I can think about – the fact that I once spent what felt like an eternity sitting in my friend’s car doing my absolute best to hold back tears so that I could remain strong for them. I’ll never forget how afterwards my friend asked what time it had been exactly that their best friend departed this world – 4:20pm. I’ll never forget that. I’ll never forget how my friend managed to see the humor in that and laugh about it. Even in the depths of grief they were able to laugh through the tears and say “of course he would.”  
It would be a lot less painful to hold onto these memories if my friend was still here with me, too. And that’s why that small part of wishes I hadn’t been there – because for the rest of my life days like today are going to make me think of them just like I do every time I see that it’s 4:20pm. And thinking of them hurts so much now that they’re no longer a part of my life.
Idk.
I think what I’m trying to say is that despite the fact that last summer wasn’t as perfect or dreamlike as I make it out to be, I still had something back then that I no longer have at all: hope. Because when you look at all the circumstances of my life back then and compare that to the circumstances I find myself in now then you’d think that I’m doing far better off today then I was back then… but that couldn’t be further than the truth. In the lead up to last summer I was just as miserable as I am now, but I still had hope that things would get better. I still had hope that the dream that I had clung onto for so long would someday come true. And by this time last year enough had happened that I knew my hopes were more than just a pipedream. I knew that good things were coming, and I knew that all I had to do was wait and be patient until they arrived.
That hope was all that kept me going until those good things finally arrived – and once they did my hopes got replaced with new ones. I began to dream bigger, I began to envision a sort of life that I had never before been able to imagine for myself. And it was that vision of the future that became my new motivation. Even after everything had fallen apart last year, I still clung to that newfound hope that I had for the future. I clung to it for so long and it got me through so much (I never would have been able to stop drinking without it) but ultimately my hopes were dashed last March when I was given the most devastating news of my life. All my dreams went up in smoke and suddenly I was completely lost and directionless. But even then, I knew that I had one month to try and resuscitate those dreams before it was too late. Because I knew that May 1st would be the point of no return. I had the entirety of April to try and rekindle that aforementioned hope instead of just accepting my fate. But in the end that’s preciously what I did: roll over and accept defeat. Because something happened in April that entirely sucked the life out of me and plunged me into an incredibly dark, bitter place where all I could think about was my inadequacies & jealously. And in the end I just let April slip right on by, having wasted all of that time.
May 1st came and went, and I thought that all of my hopes & dreams had gone with it. But that’s not what happened. Instead things started happening in May that gave me back what I had lost. I suddenly had reasons to believe that my dreams weren’t actually dead. And I started to believe that it was once again ok to let myself have hope again. But at the same time I was incredibly confused about it all, because I knew that what had happened on May 1st was something that should have been the final deathblow to that hope. But if what I thought had happened on that date had actually happened then why did all of these thing keep happening that seemed to indicate that my dreams were moving closer and closer to becoming a reality? It didn’t make any sense to me, and it confused the hell out of me. I started to wonder if I was just reading too much into things, or if the things I was placing such significance on were in reality just meaningless coincidences. Yet still I chose to believe that things weren’t over. I chose to believe that the things I was noticing really were indicators that what I had long since imagined would happen was actually beginning to happen. Because I knew that the same things had started to happen last May, also. And I knew that I had dismissed it at the time as me being crazy. But I wasn't, the things that happened had meant what I thought they meant. And I thought that they meant the same thing this year, too.
Big mistake.
Because all I did was break my own heart when I realized that all of the stuff that I had interpreted as being related to me were in instead just meaningless coincidences.. or worse - about someone else, instead. And suddenly nothing made sense anymore. Suddenly I began to question everything that I thought to be true. And suddenly I became desperate for answers - answers that I never should have expected to get. Answers to questions I never should have even tried to ask. Because it ultimately did more harm than good. And I know this sounds schizophrenic as fuck, but I can’t explain it in a sane way at all without getting into details that I really don’t want to discuss here. So trust me when I say that I wasn’t just interpreting random things throughout the day as messages someone/something was sending me lol. God knows I’d love nothing more than to finally be able to talk about all of this in detail. But this isn’t the time… and this ain’t the place.
Point being that for the first time in my life I’m now genuinely afraid of the future because I don't know what I have to look forward to anymore. And I don’t have any hope that things will get any better. Just worse. Which is something I’ll have to flesh out more at a later date, because there’s a lot to be said about just how severely depressed I’ve been since April. I haven’t been able to completely shake myself free of it yet. And I don’t think I ever will until I finally talk about it. But there’s just so freaking much I want to talk about. And so little time… time is such a precious thing, and I’ve been so careless with it. That’s another thing that I can’t stop thinking about – the fact that I never truly appreciated the value of time until fairly recently when I realized just how much of it I’ve wasted.
But I like to think that the time I spend discovering myself through writing like this is time well spent. It certainly beats just thinking about everything, that’s for sure. And if I don’t keep writing like this then soon enough I’m not going to have any fingernails left at all because I start biting them like a mf when I get lost in thought. It’s not something that I do consciously, but rather something I’m not even aware that I’m doing until well after I’ve started doing it. Like, even just today I was sitting in my car at a red light thinking about everything that I wrote here this morning when I realized I was biting my nails and instantly thought of the same thing that I think of every time I catch myself biting them: my best friend. Whenever I was with them I never even needed to catch myself doing it because they always did that for me. Stop biting your nails, they’d say. Albeit in a loving rather than bossy or demanding sort of way. Eventually I tried to explain to them that it’s not just a bad habit of mine but also some sort of coping mechanism – something that I do subconsciously whenever I begin to overthink and become lost in my own head as a result of it. So after that their stop biting your nails became stop thinking!  
I miss that. I miss that so much.
I had never felt an intimacy like that before. They’re the only person who’s ever been able to know what’s going on inside my head without me even having to say a word. Not only had that, but they frequently knew what was going on inside my head even better than I did. And they knew how to snap me out of it. They knew how to snap me out of it long before I would even realize that there was anything that I needed to snap out of.
I’m not too good at doing that for myself.
My way of snapping out of it used to be having a cigarette. And my way to stop thinking was to start drinking. With the two of those removed from my life I’m left without any means of escape from my thoughts… unless I start writing them here, of course. But my mind keeps fucking with me, telling me that I was indeed self-medicating but maybe that’s the only thing that was keeping me alive… maybe that was the only thing keeping me sane. Or, at least, that’s what my mind keeps telling me regarding cigarettes. I used to tell myself the same thing about alcohol, but it’s been so long now that that’s become more of an afterthought than anything else. If that makes any sense. Idk. I really struggle to concentrate without nicotine. And I often wonder if it shows in these posts…
But at least I’m making them again. Things were much worse when I wasn’t. Like, if I can write this much in the span of 5 – 10 minutes then just imagine what it’s like inside of my head for every single moment of every single day.
I hope you can appreciate why I spent so much of my life trying to escape it.
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luveline · 3 years
Text
in the morning, afternoon and night [Fred Weasley x Reader]
tags: reader-insert, hurt/comfort, self esteem issues, low self esteem, reader has acne, sad reader, insecure reader
pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader
word count: 1.8k
You glared at your reflection.
You'd think with such amazing magical medicine available, some witch or wizard would've invented a cure for acne, or at least a spell that covered it up.
You'd struggled with it since your third year. The muggle doctor you'd seen with your mother had suggested it was hormonal, and would calm down as you got older.
That was years ago.
It shouldn't have been a big deal. It wasn't, really. It wasn't usually very painful, though it was itchy as a stinging nettle and twice as unsightly. A large part of you knew it wasn't your fault, that acne was something that simply affected people at different times in their lives. You'd tried topicals and changing your diet, you'd tried losing weight and exercising and dermaplaning and everything they suggested in your mams fashion magazines.
Nothing worked.
Tears welled in your eyes and you sniffed them back, blinking rapidly.
It might've been silly, but it honestly made you want to hide away. You'd skipped dinner without really thinking, finding your way into the girls bathroom you inhabited now. You straightened your tie and robes, dusting down the sides. You leaned forward again, dabbing under your eyes with your sleeve.
The last thing you wanted was for anyone to know you'd been crying, because then someone might ask why. You didn't want to talk about it, ever.
If Fred saw you like this...
You and Fred Weasley had been almost dating for a few weeks now. Almost, because you hadn't talked about the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing yet.
It had been years of thinking he was the fittest boy in Gryffindor (besides George) and months of meeting his gaze in the corridors and catching his eye over dinner. Gradually it had become something more; he started carrying your books between classes and opening doors, touching your arms and your hair and your face.
You cringed at the memory. He had been so caring, moving to wipe an eyelash from the skin under your eye. You'd violently flinched from his hand, afraid he might feel the bumpy texture of your skin, feel the acne beneath your makeup. He'd been apologetic and a little confused, filling you with guilt. You hadn't been able to find a way to tell him it wasn't him, it was you. Of course you wanted him to touch you, the thought of him cradling your face had been the subject of many dizzy daydreams, but you just couldn't tell him this one thing.
It was your deepest insecurity.
The stress had only made it worse. Redness was easy to cover with muggle make up and even some wizarding tricks you'd learned over the years, but there wasn't a way to smooth your skin, and the acne was textured.
It was depressing. You didn't want to use that word, it felt ungrateful to compare your skin issues to something so severe, but it made you miserable.
You but down on your quivering lip, pushing away from the mirror unhappily and opening the bathroom door, a frown on your face.
"Y/N!" a familiar voice said.
You jumped, startled but unsurprised. Fred had a talent of always knowing where you were. You'd find it creepy if he wasn't so endearing.
"Fred," you said, plastering a smile over your frown. "I was just coming to find you."
"What a coincidence, ma chérie, I was doing the same."
"Well," you began, easily sidling into his space, "you found me."
"Yes, I did," Fred hummed, wrapping his arms behind your neck, grinning.
He took a long look at your face, his forehead creased. "What's wrong?"
"Nothings wrong, Fred."
He moved his hands to your shoulders, looking down into your face searchingly. "Have you been crying?" he asked.
You shook your head, lying without thinking. "Something in my eye,"
"Both of them?"
You stepped backwards. He let go of your shoulders accordingly.
"Y/N?"
"It's really nothing," you said through a forced laugh.
He frowned at you for a few seconds more and his face cleared. "Alright," he said slowly, rolling the words in his mouth, "if you say so, doll."
You opened like a blooming flower at the pet name, your whole face softening. You smiled, hoping he understood that the smile meant, oh I just so adore you, Fred Weasley.
He threaded his fingers through yours, dragging you down the corridor beside him and waxing poetic about their newest lot of Peruvian darkness powder as you went.
-
It got so bad you couldn't go to class.
Okay, so you definitely could've gone to class, but the thought of leaving your curtained bed was enough to make you sick with anxiety, so worried that everyone would see you - see your face.
NEWTs were coming fast and hard. Everyone who wanted to be anyone was working hard studying their asses of, on top of Professor Umbridge's million new rules you had to abide by, including her newest life-ruining rule: Boys and girl are not to be within 5 inches of each other.
What a joke. You struggled through classes, wrote essays so long your hand burned at night and now you weren't allowed to sit next to your almost boyfriend at lunch? It was miserable. It was making you miserable, and now you may as well have sharpied on your forehead how equipped your body was to deal with it.
Fucking badly.
You groaned to yourself, rolling on your side to face the wall. You were at your wits end. It felt endlessly unfair that the thing that was stressing you out most was getting worse from stress.
Your stomach growled hungrily.
You threw your arm over your eyes in defeat, eyes finally filling with tears. You felt so hopeless. There was nothing to be done except keep up your routine until the flare up was over, or until your mothers next 'miracle cure' popped into existence.
The tears felt too hot against your sore skin. You couldn't help but sob quietly to yourself in self-pity.
A knock sounded at the door. You gasped, wiping the tears away in panic.
"Y/N?" It was Alicia. "Are you alright? Can I come in?"
"Yes," you managed. "Yes, of course. It's your room too, after all."
The door clicked open. Alicia appeared, tanned skin completely clear and glowing, though each perfect feature was marred with empathy. "Fred's been begging every girl in the common room to come fetch you, but I told him to leave you be."
"Thank you," you said.
You cleared your throat. Alicia moved her weight from foot to foot, twisting her hands.
"I- Y/N. I won't pretend to know how it feels, but I promise you, Fred won't care. He's beside himself worrying that you're bedridden and dying or-" she laughed to herself, "or that you're still mad at him for the itching powder. What I mean is... he's a good guy, and you're upset. Maybe you should tell him what's wrong. He won't care."
You sniffed. "I know," you admitted, feeling the weight of her shifting the bed. "I know he's a great guy. I just wouldn't blame him if he, if he didn't like me anymore. If he found it ugly. I would understand it, and I think that makes it worse," you choked on your words, heat building behind your eyes.
"Oh, Y/N," Alicia said, placing a tentative but comforting hand on your shoulder.
You lay in quiet, listening to your own ragged breathing.
"I'll go talk to him," Alicia said.
"No! I mean, no. Thank you, but no. I... I'll speak to him myself."
Alicia nodded, rubbing your arm kindly.
The sound of the door clicking shut behind her finally spurred you into sitting up. You dressed in a hurry, chucking a wool jumper over last nights pyjamas.
He wouldn't care, would he? You cringed. Yes, he definitely would. Whatever was between you would stop. He'd have the grace to let you down slowly, drawing away his affections. He was a polite guy, he'd probably even say the whole spiel of "it's not you, it's me". But he would, eventually.
Well, you figured. Let it be quick. Like ripping off a bandaid.
You tread lightly down the steps, hoping to see him before he saw you.
Of course, when the slightest groan on the bottom step sounded, his lovely face whipped to meet yours. He smiled in relief, but it was mixed with something else. Disgust, your brain supplied nastily. He was disgusted. He rose to his feet, smiling smiling smiling. But something in his eyes was different, now.
"Y/N," he said.
"Hi," you said.
"Hi yourself, beautiful. Where've you been all day?"
"I'm... sick. Bad cold," you settled on.
He raised an eyebrow. "You sound okay," he said, not unkindly.
"I..." you looked down at your hands.
A siren was sounding in your head. You didn't think Fred had seen you without make up for the last 3 years. Fight or flight was leaning heavily towards flight.
"Well, are you hungry?"
You shook your head.
"Are you sure? You haven't eaten all day. You need something in your system if you're gonna fight this cold."
"I'm not actually sick, Fred," you admitted under your breath.
"I know."
You looked up. He was still smiling kindly. It was infuriating.
"Look," you said finally, rushed and all at once, "if you don't want to- if you're grossed out. Then it's fine, I'll understand if you don't want to see me anymore."
Fred was stricken.
"I know it's - ugly."
"Ugly? Nothing about you is ugly."
"Fred, my face-"
"No, listen to me, Y/N. It's not ugly. It's not gross. You're not any of those things, are you kidding?" he said, grabbing your hands. "You're beautiful. All the time, in the morning, afternoon and night. You're beautiful in charms and transfiguration and care of magical creatures. You were beautiful yesterday and you're beautiful today and you'll be even more so tomorrow." He stopped suddenly, looking down at your joined hands. His cheeks had turned bright red.
"Smooth, Freddie," came George's voice, from the sofa behind them.
"Shove OFF," exclaimed Fred, growing more red by the second. Heat filled your own cheeks.
"It's skin, Y/N. That's all it is."
"Okay," you said tightly, trying not to cry.
Fred breathed out, his hair shifting in response. His corded arms pulled you tight to his chest. You breathed him in. He smelled sweet and rough, like burning caramel.
He thought you were beautiful.
You smiled into his shirt.
<3<3<3
tag list: @msmimimerton
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venusiangguk · 3 years
Text
gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)
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>>pairing: jungkook x reader
>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship
>>word count: 9.9k um?
>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists
>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 
>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!
pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3
The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.
Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”
When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.
“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”
Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”
Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”
“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”
“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.
Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.
A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.
His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”
“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.
Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”
“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”
Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”
Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”
“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.
“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 
Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.
“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.
baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:
okie
wanna have sex instead of helping me study 
me:
yeah but im not gonna 
just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 
baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:
🙄
When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.
“You think she’ll be down?”
Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”
Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.
“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”
Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.
“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”
Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.
“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”
As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”
Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?
“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.
~~~
Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.
“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.
His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.
“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.
He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”
“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.
The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 
He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 
Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”
You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”
Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.
You pout. “What?”
Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.
With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.
“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.
“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 
“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 
You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.
He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.
You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”
He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.
He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”
Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.
“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 
He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.
“When did you want to? Tonight?”
He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.
You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 
“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.
Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 
His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”
He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.
“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.
He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”
~~~
A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.
Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 
You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.
“Which one do you want?” You ask.
“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.
Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 
“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 
“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.
Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.
Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”
The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.
“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”
He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.
You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”
A side glance. “Not yet…”
You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.
“Uh, not that one.”
You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.
“No.”
You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.
“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.
He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”
He pauses.
“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 
Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.
You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”
He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”
“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”
You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 
“We need the harness now.”
You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 
“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.
“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 
“Let’s not.”
“Koo.” You say giving him a look.
He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.
He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”
You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.
The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.
You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”
Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”
You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”
He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”
You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.
“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.
Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”
Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 
With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  
Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.
“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.
It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.
“He’s cute.”
You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”
Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”
You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”
He shrugs. “Don’t care.”
“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”
He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.
There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.
“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”
He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”
“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.
“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”
He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.
“Baby, we have lube at home.”
“But do we have enough?”
“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”
He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”
Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.
After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”
“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”
You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”
~~~
As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.
You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 
“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.
Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.
When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.
“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.
“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.
You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”
He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.
You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.
“I love you.” You smile.
He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.
It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 
You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.
“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.
You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”
He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 
Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.
“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.
He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”
He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.
You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 
“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.
“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.
When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”
You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.
“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.
You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.
“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.
You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.
You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.
“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 
“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”
“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 
He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.
He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”
“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 
Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”
He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.
You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.
“Want some?” 
He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!
He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?
“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.
You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 
“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”
You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.
“More,” He begs. 
You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.
When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.
“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.
You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.
“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”
With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.
“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 
You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”
Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”
Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 
Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”
“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.
“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.
Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 
“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 
He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.
When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.
It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.
You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.
While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.
Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.
“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.
Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”
You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.
You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.
“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.
You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 
He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”
Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.
You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.
“Cold.” He says.
“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.
“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.
“Tell me to stop if you need to.”
He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.
He lets out a shaky breath.
“You okay, baby?” You check in.
“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”
You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.
“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.
He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.
He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.
“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.
“You c-” 
“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.
When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.
“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.
He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.
“Well, your butthole is pretty.”
He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 
He sounds so wistful and just ready.
But you’re not.
You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.
“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.
He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.
“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”
You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.
Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 
He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 
“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.
He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.
He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.
“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.
He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.
You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”
He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.
You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.
“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.
Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.
Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.
You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 
You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.
“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.
“Yeah.” He says softly.
He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 
“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.
You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.
“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”
You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 
“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.
“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.
“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.
You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.
You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 
“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.
With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.
“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 
“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.
Point taken. 
Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.
A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.
You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.
“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.
He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.
“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 
He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.
You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 
He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.
You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 
He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.
You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”
He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”
The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.
He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.
He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.
“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.
He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.
“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 
He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 
The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.
“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”
You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”
He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 
It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.
He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.
“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 
He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.
You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”
Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.
“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 
“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”
He grunts in response.
Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.
When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 
“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.
Another grunt.
Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.
“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”
His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.
You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.
“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”
He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.
“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.
He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”
You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 
You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.
“How bad is it?” He mumbles.
You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.
He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”
You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.
“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.
You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.
“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.
“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.
You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.
“I’m so tired man.”
“I bet man.” You tease.
He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.
“Yeah roll over.”
It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.
~~~~
you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :* 
2K notes · View notes
jiminzfilter · 3 years
Text
slow dancing in the night
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→ Pairing. Taehyung x reader
→ Genre. established relationship, fluff, slice of life, model!taehyung, model!reader, taehyung missed you a lot, he is starving (his words not mine), gets a bit hot by the last 40 lines, mentions of oral (f) so I guess this counts as mature content, implied smut, making out (kinda), there is a bit of swearing
→ Summary. what could possibly be better than coming home after a long day of work to someone you love and missed a lot ?
→ Word count. 3.2k (!!!)
→ because I wrote this over a year ago when I still didn't know what I was doing with my writing, I had to go through a deep process of editing and re-writing before posting it. This might not be my best work but it's still a fic that I really really like :,)
→ song rec. slow dancing in the dark, Joji// still with you, Jungkook
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Fridays have always been exhausting days for both you and your boyfriend, especially on runways weeks. As models, you were put under a lot of pressure.
Pressure to be perfect, to smile but never smile too much, to look good, to not fall on stage.
Falling has to be the most tragic thing that can happen to your carreer as a model, the hungry stares of thousands of photographers and reporters ready to share the latest news to the press.
Yeah, it was exhausting.
This week was no exception... or maybe it was since, this time, you were the only one working until late.
It’s four in the morning and you’re already on your way out - kind of running late, oBviOusLy - quietly wishing your boyfriend a good day.
He is not working today.
That lucky bastard.
He gets to enjoy his free day in bed, lazing around, while you work your ass off all day. He mumbles something that you assume is a sort of goodbye. He is still asleep.
You look at him one last time before leaving the room and smile. He looks so peaceful.
You still remember the day you met, by pure luck even though you both call that fate. That was 5 years ago, when you just debuted your career as a model and were not that comfortable around high heels.
Okay no. Let’s be real.
You hated wearing them because you couldn’t walk in heels higher than 5 cm.
It’s still a wonder how you managed to make it in the first place.
Were you wearing flat shoes for the audition ? Damn you really must’ve done an impression on the judges if they made you pass without the heels try-on.
Your first day at the agency was chaotic to say the least. Your manager made you walk around the building, to visit she said. She made you wear heels. HEELS. That devilish person.
But, thank to that, you got to meet Taehyung. Your eyes landed on him as you were visiting the lounge and couldn’t tear them away from his figure. The poor man had to witness you fall down because you weren’t watching your steps anymore.
I mean.
Who could blame you ??
That was Kim frEaking Taehyung
!!!
He even came to help you get back on your feet and asked if you were alright, kind of amused.
It’s not everyday you see someone falling down in here, let alone a newbie
Let’s be honest, you were so embarrassed.
First day of work and you’re already failing falling.
That night when you came home, you spent the night wearing heels and prayed really hard you’d never have to face him again. After all, the building was big enough and there were enough workers that you could avoid Taehyung easily
If only
The NeXt day, you were told that you had a couple shooting, with none other that Kim Taehyung.
GreaT
He would occasionally tease you about your fall and check on you to see if everything was alright. He watched you carefully as you were walking around with heels.
From up close he looked even more handsome.... :)
After this day, you started talking with Taehyung more and more. He introduced you to everyone around the agency. You met outside of work, got to know each other. You both became regally good friends but there was something lingering in the air, in the way you’d look at each other or stood so close to him after a couple glasses of wine that you could breathe his air.
So what was bound to happen happened and you went from friends a to lovers without really noticing it.
He was still your best friend...somehow
Eventually, you took things to the next level and moved in together... maybe a half and a year ago or so ? You’ve never been happier in your life
And, well, you’d actually be happier if you could spend the day with boyfriend instead of running around trying to find god knows which accessories you need for the rehearsal.
8 in the morning is noT a time to be doing cardio.
Especially while wearing heels
Become a model they said, it’ll be fun they said
“Y/n! Come here please I need you to try on this dress before you go!” Your personal stylist calls “I made sure to fix it yesterday so it’d be a perfect fit for the show”
You stop your tracks and go to her “make this quick i have to go get changed before 9 otherwise I’m screwed. Why did they even decide to do the rehearsals so early today ?” You sigh, frustrated, and put on the dress she’s handing you “thank you”
“Okayyy...it looks great. Gold looks amazing on you.” She smoothes the dress and gives an approving nod, visibly satisfied ; “You’ll look perfect for the Grand Finale. Oh god it’s already 8:30 you better go before Mr.Kim throws a fit because you’re late”
You both giggle ; “thank you for fixing the dress Naeun, see you later today. Well, probably tonight. Byeeee”
The rehearsal seems to never end. You’re squeezed in dozens of different outfits, gorgeous for sure but sO tight. Mr. Kim, the one who organised the runway, is such a perfectionist that you have to re-do some things multiple times before he’s satisfied. One time the lighting isn’t right, the other the models are walking too fast, not on beat and so on.
Everyone hates him for that but he always makes the best shows so you just follow.
After multiple tries, the rehearsal finally comes to an end. It’s already 4PM. You barely get time to breathe and go pee before you’re back into the ‘running-around-to-find-my-dress-and-fix-my-makeup-oh-god-i-gotta-be-on-stage’ crazy mess.
Walking on the runway feels amazing, running backstage is terrible.
It’s so hot and small back there you can hardly move around well.
It takes 2 hours for the whole fashion show to be over, one more for pictures outside the catwalk and chat with reporters. Since you’re kind of a famous model now, you get invited to the afterparty and spend few extra hours interacting with some celebrities that attended the show. Other models were invited and you’re happy to see familiar faces amongst them. Jimin, an old colleague and friend of yours, comes your way and compliments you. You chat with him for a while before deciding you’ve had enough for the day and leave the party. A few more people greet you on your way out.
A taxi takes you back to you company, where you left your stuff in the morning. You spend an extra thirty minutes getting rid of your heavy makeup and striping off that gorgeous but awfully tight golden dress you’ve been wearing ever since the end of the runway.
Now, you can FinaLLy go home. yassssss
It’s almost 12am when you leave the agency and climb into yet another taxi. The ride is quiet, background music playing over the car’s radio, and you take some time to look at what you were gifted for your performance : fancy makeup products, accessories, pieces of clothing-but not those from the runway, you sadly never get to keep those. Being kinda famous has its perks :,)
You then decide it’s time to warn Taehyung you’ll arrive soon and send him a few texts. As if he was waiting for them, he instantly replies saying he’ll be waiting for you and proceeds to spam you with heart emojis. Sometimes, it looks like this man just discovered what emojis were and is trying to use them as much as possible. What a child…
It’s way past midnight when you finally step into your duplex and the first thing you notice is that the place is way too quiet.
Maybe Tae went back to sleep, who knows, it’s super late after all…
:(
You remove shoes and jacket and drop your bags in the entrance before going further and you call out quietly “anyone here? Tae, you sleeping?”
There is a faint glow from the tv on your right but the sound has been muted.
Weird…
“Taehyung ?" You call one last time
Suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and you’re pulled into someone’s chest. You gasp, almost scream, but soften up when you feel the warmth on your back
“Hi baby” a deep voice says in your ear, sending chills down your spine “I missed you”
You turn around and are very pleased to see a handsome face and a warm exposed chest your boyfriend smiling at you.
“Mhm, missed you too” You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, happy to hear his heartbeat. Taehyung places his head atop of yours and gently strokes your hair. You tighten your grasp around him and hum.
Few seconds later, he lifts your chin up and gently lays a kiss on your lips.
“How are you doing?” He asks, his right hand cupping your cheek. The warmth of it is comforting.
“Exhausted, but you know how it goes” You shrug and he smiles
“Not too tired for dinner ? I could cook something if you want”
“Mhm... let me just go shower and put something else on” You sadly let go of him
“Sure, go ahead” he whispers and you give him a kiss before regretfully tearing yourself away from him.
You walk up the stairs to your bedroom, where you find the bed undone. You smile, Taehyung never really liked making the bed and, very honestly, neither did you. You slump onto the mattress and bury your face into the pillows, inhaling his scent. Lavender. Relaxing. Just like he is.
After a warm shower, you find a t-shirt Taehyung left on a chair in the room and wear it. It’s big enough to reach your thighs and, if you were more energised, you’d probably stay like this. You grab large pants and put them on.
Once again, you smell lavender all around you.
When you’re back in the living area, you see Taehyung busying himself in the kitchen. He hears your steps and his eyes find yours as a smile appears on his face when he notices that you’re wearing his shirt
“My shirt looks better on you than it’d ever do on me” He teases, his gaze longing on your frame.
“maybe I should keep it then” you smile and ask ; ”Do you need any help?”
“no no no no no, you’ve worked enough already. Go and have some rest. I'll call you when everything’s ready okay?”
Too tired to argue on this anyways -and thankful for the given rest-, you go lay down on the couch, your body oriented to let you look at Taehyung.
As he hums and moves to the chill music that was playing in the background, you start to detail his beautiful figure. From the curl of his dark hair (which you knoW are so so soft to the touch) to his beautiful profile and his nose you love so much down to his broad shoulder and then his tanned abs you see from time to time when the opened shirt of his pyjama moves according to his steps.
oH! Let’s not forget his perfect hands gripping at the pan’s handle while he cooks… vegetables? Something like that yeah.
Taehyung is giving his best into what he’s cooking. Vegetables with rice, that’s the only thing he could do quickly.
Quickly as in less than half an hour, unlike his friend Namjoon who’d take this time just to cook the rice.
The music he put earlier is slowly starting to bore him. After washing his hands, he reaches out for his phone and plays a different playlist. It’s one you name yourself when the two of you were still friends (aka not dating yet). “Taetae fm” because you once joked he should have his own broadcasting channel on the radio. He’d always criticise the music playing so why not have his own channel 👀
“You know Y/n, I actually watched the fashion show live this afternoon. I mean, of course you know because I always do that haha. Anyways, you really were the highlight of the runway tonight. And I’m not saying this in a biased point of view. Okay I might be a bit biased as your boyfriend but I swear that it’s true!! You literally shone back there, especially in that gold dress you were wearing and even the audience was impressed by your looks maybe you didn’t see it on stage but some cameras filmed their reactions and everyone was looking at you. Really, you were so gorge-oh” Taehyung looks at you and smile fondly “Of course you’re asleep, baby”
He lets his phone aside and checks the now cooked food before making his way to the couch. There’s a blanket on the sofa, he covers you with it, scared you might get cold. Taehyung put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and places a kiss on your chin.
You slowly open your eyes and find yourself face to face with him. You both smile.
“Hi there beautiful” He whispers
“what time is it? Did I sleep until the morning?” You’re scared of having slept through the entire nap without realising
“almost 1:20am, I just finished cooking. I thought you might be cold so I went to cover you with the blanket. You should go enjoy the food while it’s still hot, imma go to the toilet”
You nod as an answer and watch him leave upstairs. Getting up from the warmth of the couch is the hardest part so you keep the soft blanket draped around your shoulders and walk towards the kitchen. You grab two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks that you place on the counter along with glasses and a bottle of water.
You then go take care of the rice and the vegetables, which you mix in the pan. The song playing changes and your favourite nighttime tune starts.
“I don’t want a friend, I want my life in two” you sing along
“Waiting to get there, waiting for you” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he grabs your wrists and pulls your back close to him. You smile as he makes the both of you dance slowly. You put his arms around you so it’s like he’s hugging you from the back. You swing around for a little while, enjoying the close proximity as you both softly hum the song, making your body vibrate against each other, moving in perfect coordination.
“I love you” he whispers in your ear and then kisses it, sending chills down your spine, before lifting one of your arm up to make you turn so that you’re now facing him “did my baby sleep well?” You nod as you place your arms around his waist, paying attention to go under the shirt so you’re touching as much skin as possible.
Taehyung chuckles before asking you in that same, chill-sending, low deep voice ; “Still hungry? Because I’m starving”
If you didn’t just wake up, you would’ve definitely caught that lust in his eyes and also the fact that this wasn’t as innocent as it seemed.
As an answer, your stomach growls pretty loudly, making Taehyung laugh . “I’ll take that as a yes. Sit down, princess. Let me take care of you”
You do as he says, jumping on a stool, detailing all of his moves. You only realise how hungry you actually were when you start eating. Rice with vegetables has never tastes better. You eat everything in less than 5 minutes when you’d usually take your time to finish your plate.
“Damn, that was a well needed dinner! Thank you Tae” you mess a bit with his soft locks
“Imagine me who was waiting for you all evening!! I was hungry too” He pouts.
“Oh come on, I was working today. Cardio in heels isn’t the best way to wake up, let alone spend the whole day standing in tight clothes. When I think you has a day off… pfff. I saw the bed, I’m sure you stayed there all day, you lazyyyyyyyyy ass.”
He mumbles some gibberish and you giggle, knowing that you're right. He looks away, crossing his arms and obviously sulking. You leave your stool and stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a few kisses on his cheek and neck
“- Don’t be such a babyy. You know I love you.
- You do?
- of course, you dummy” you bop his nose "Sooo, what do we have for desert?
- You. Uh I mean!! Yoghurt, fruits, cakes, fruits…anything” he clears his throat
“Great! What do you prefer?” You open the fridge
“ I’d very happily eat you out honestly but an apple sounds good”
“Oh sur- wait whaT!?” You snap your head to him, eyes wide open
what did he sayyyyyyyy?????
whaT am I even supposed to say noW oh my goddddd
You close the fridge’s door, suddenly not so yogurt-hungry.
There’s a sudden silence between the two of you, only disturbed by the music still playing in the background.
“Mhm? What is it?” He turns around to face you, asking so innocently “did I say something wrong ?”
This man knows what he is doing for sure. Has he ever been that straightforward before ?
Taehyung stands and closes the distance between your bodies, now towering over you.
He lowers himself slightly to speak in your ear “what is it baby? Mhm?” You feel his smile on your cheek when he lays a kiss on it “what happened to my all proud and fierce y/n who was so confident telling me I was being lazy all day, huh? Tell me” He lays another kiss on your temple
OkaY
now he’s being a tease
Great
1 A.M. fluffy and bare chested teaser Taehyung
gReAT
Anyhow, it’s a good turn on.
Really.good.freaking.turn.on
Being tired and turned on was definitely not a good mix for you. You could feel the heat rising in your body and hear your heart pounding in your ears.
“Tae…”
He laughs gently seeing you silently begging for more, brushing your face with his lips, teasing another kiss.
“Tsk tsk, you gotta speak darling, I cannot guess”
You should calm down and go to sleep, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow you should definitely-
“Fuck-“ You sigh and grab his face, sealing your lips together while closing your eyes.
It doesn’t take long for that kiss to turn into a heated make out session.
You grab and pull some of his dark curls while his hands travels under his your shirt.
You break the kiss just a second to catch your breath.
“Have i ever told you you have the perfect body?” Taehyung asks
“Did I ever tell you how perfect you are??” You reply
He laughs, deep raspy laugh.
You’re too tired for this
And because you’re tired, you’re even more horny :D
Taehyung puts his hands behind your thighs and you jump, locking your legs around his waist, hands still in his hair, lips against his while carries you to the bedroom.
He leaves your lips to travel down your jaw and then collarbone. You throw your head back.
Taehyung gently lays you on the mattress of your king sized bed and makes it his personal mission to pleasure you tonight.
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littlepadika · 3 years
Text
Calling Home (5) | Frankie Morales x Reader
Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues…
Rating: E (18+ only)
Warnings: age gap (legal), dilf!frankie, praise kink, voice kink, size kink, low self esteem, discussion of addiction/ptsd/trauma/triggers, divorce drama, no use of y/n, no beta reader, DDLG🎀, unprotected piv sex, oral m and oral f, hickies galore👅, mild BDSM (cuffs⛓, choking).
Masterlist here
AN: Whatta ride... but all things come to an end🥺. i'm blown away by the support for this fic. Thank you all 💕.
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Chapter Five
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frankie had his own mental list of stuff he needed to do before you would arrive. He dunged out his closet to make room for your clothes. It was long overdue. He had a lot of things he didn’t wear anymore that needed to go. He went out and bought some more plates and silverware since his two plates and Rosie’s plastic plates would not do. He no longer looked around his home with a sense of loneliness, now he pictured all the places you could fit in. He could see you reading by the window in the living room so he bought a comfy new chair to put there. He noticed your small plant collection in your apartment and thought you’d maybe like a bigger one in the back yard so he bought a planter box.
He was reading your novel, titled Our Little Kingdom, while your candle burned. You didn't give it to him at first. While you were in the bathroom and Frankie washed your dishes, he noticed a stack of papers poking out in the trash. It was your manuscript. When you came back and saw him reading it you tried to take it back but Frankie insisted and you caved. It was good. Frankie wasn't just saying that because he loved you. He could see how great writers had influenced you and still it was uniquely your voice. The story, too, was compelling. He couldn't help but imagine you as the protagonist as she was just as sweet and clever.
You were making good progress on your list. You had put in your two weeks notice and started to applying to jobs in Miami. You enjoyed working with veterans so you hoped you could do something similar again. As two weeks went by you were disappointed you still hadn't heard back from job interviews. Packing was a little more difficult. You didn’t know what was worth taking and what was worth leaving. You knew Frankie had most everything already so it was a matter of picking your most special things. The rest you were slowing taking to Goodwill in batches.
You had completely forgotten you sent your book in to publishers until a flurry of emails came in on the same day.
Frankie woke up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing. He sat up pulling the phone towards him. It was you. Why would you be calling so late? Maybe something was wrong?
“Frankie?” You sounded congested. He heard a sniffle. Frankie furrowed his brow at that.
“Hey. Is everything all right?”
“ They-they-“ you could barely get it out “they rejected me.”
“Who?”
“All of them. All of the book agencies.” You threw yourself onto your bed, hot tears running down your face.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, sweet pea.” Frankie didn’t know whether to be sad or angry. He thought your book was amazing. He sat up and flicked on the bedside lamp. “They’re idiots. Every one of them.”
“They’re experts, Frankie.” You felt more tears leak from your eyes. “Maybe I’m just not a good writer. Maybe-Maybe-" You hiccuped and low cry slipped from your mouth. You covered your mouth, taking in raking breaths. It was agony to admit this to him when he believed in you most. You felt like you had let him down. Frankie's heart literally ached in his chest as he listened to your quiet weeping over the phone. He waited for you to continue, feeling his own eyes grow misty.
“Don’t disappear on me, little pea. Let me hear that voice of yours.”
You were unable to speak. Scared of what may come out. You felt like your walls were closing in around you and mocking you. How did you ever think you could be a writer like all your favorite authors? You were so stupid, you thought.
“I let you down.” You said shakily.
“No no no, little pea.” Frankie said quickly. “You could never let me down. I don’t need to a book agent to tell me you’re a good writer. I know you’re writing is beautiful and perfect. Just like you.”
His praise caused another wave of tears from you.
“Daddy…” You bawled.
“I hear you, baby.” Frankie heard his own voice shake with emotion. He never hated the distance more than he did in this moment. He needed to wrap you up in his arms. “Close your eyes, sweet pea. Use that big imagination of yours. Pretend I’m there with you.”
“Imagination isn’t good enough, daddy.” You blubbered, fat tears slipping from your eyes.
“I know, baby.” Frankie’s heart was breaking. “But try for me okay?”
You clamped your eyes shut and tried to focus in on his breathing on the other end of the phone. Frankie did the same, closing his eyes.
“Good, sweet pea. Focus on daddy.” He wished he was there to comfort you, wrap you up in his arms and shield you from the cruel cruel world. “I’m next to you. I’m holding you so tight.”
“Hold me tighter!” You begged holding your pillow pet to your chest.
“Okay. I just did.” Frankie whispered closing his eyes as if it would be more real. “Feel that?”
“Yeah…” A moment went by as you steadied your breathing. Tears eventually stopped falling, drying against your cheeks. Frankie’s steady breathing anchored you.
“I loved your book. It was really really good. And fuck it, I’ll publish it myself.” Frankie couldn't help but raise his voice.
“Silly.” You sniffled.
“I’m serious, sweet pea. Who needs those stuck up assholes.”
“Hmm yeah, you’re right.” You agreed, voice softening with sleepiness. You pushed your face into your pillow. You could still smell Frankie if you really focused. "I miss you, Frankie."
"I miss you, too."
"I still haven't heard from any jobs. And- maybe I'm just not good enough and-" You felt more tears fill your eyes.
"Shhh shhh" Frankie interrupted "Listen to me. You are the best. The right thing will turn up i'm sure of it."
"But it's the only thing left on the list!"
"I know..." Frankie pulled over your copy of the list that you wrote for him. He had crossed things off as you reported to him. "Let's see if they get back to you tomorrow." Maybe he was being too hard on you, making you get a job first. He only wanted to put it on there to give you some independence over the move. He didn't want you to feel like you had nothing to do once you got here.
Frankie waited until your breathing evened out. He called your name quietly. When he got no response he assumed you fell asleep. He didn’t want to hang up. He missed you so fucking much and he felt helpless.
When he woke up the next morning, he said goodbye to Rosalia as usual, called in sick, and started driving north. Fuck the list. You were coming home with him now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of course Frankie called you telling you he was on his way. You felt bad for making him miss work but your excitement overpowered any guilt. You set a timer for 14 hours and started packing with new energy. Your eyes were still puffy from your tears last night. But you repeated what Frankie said like a mantra. Who needs those stuck up assholes. There were tons of ways to self publish nowadays. It didn’t have to be through a publishing house.
When you ran out of things to clean up and pack, you watched out the window waiting to see Frankie’s blue pick up. You had changed into sleep shorts and a t shirt. While you had a plan to dress more sexy you ended up accidentally packing that surprise in one of the boxes earlier today. It was getting dark when Frankie finally pulled up. He looked exhausted but still… Frankie. He was wearing his favorite hat and grey t shirt. You ran down to the street to meet him. He’s pulling empty boxes from the bed of the truck when he sees you sprinting towards him.
“Sweet pea!” He smiled as you launched yourself into his arms. “Oof.” You buried you face in his shirt inhaling his scent. He rubbed your back affectionately enjoying having you back in his arms. “Aw… it’s okay. It’s okay now.” He murmured when he heard you sniffle. He oddly felt his chest swell with pride at how much you missed him. He never had to worry about how you felt about him. He peeled your head off him by stroking your head. You looked up at him with a watery smile. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”
You snickered at his dad phases. “I’m ready. Well… I still have some stuff I need to pack up. Too heavy.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” Frankie kissed you chastely. You pulled him in for more though, fisting his shirt in your hands. “Mmm no no. Work first. Play later.” Frankie pulled back. You pouted but have to agree with his logic. The faster you packed the faster you could leave.
Back in your apartment Frankie got to work taking apart your bed and dresser. You finished packing your clothes and dusting.
“Hey what’s this? It was under the bed.” Frankie walked over holding a gift bag with pink tissue paper sticking up.
“Oh…” You quickly grabbed it away. “That’s supposed to be a surprise. For Rosie.”
“You got her a present?” Frankie was touched by your thoughtfulness.
“Yeah I mean… I figured it might make her like me more.”
“She already likes you, but she can never have too many toys.” Frankie stepped further into your space. You realize at that moment how sweaty he was from moving all the furniture. It was so late at night and you were both exhausted but the sudden rush of his thicker smell made you feel wide awake. “Can I see what you got her?”
You handed the package back over, watching him gingerly move the tissue paper to the side. His eyes softened when he saw the pink unicorn pillow pet sitting in the bag. A mini version of yours.
“Am I too presumptuous making us matching? I don’t know if she likes unicorns and-" Frankie cut you off, dropping the bag and kissing you up against the wall. He wasn't even sure what part of that turned him on, just your sweetness and wanting to be a part of his family. He held your face in his hands, his grip forcing your mouth open. You felt yourself start to grow wet. You loved when he just went caveman on you. Sometimes he didn’t have the words to express how much he loved you so he reverted to touch; to deep kisses and deep thrusts. His hands trailed down your exposed legs so he could lift you up on his hips. You held onto his shoulders as he swung you around. The bed was gone, the couch was gone.
"Fuck. Hang on."
You laughed as he ran you out to the kitchen to set you down on the counter. You pawed at his pants trying to undo his belt, but Frankie was faster, unhooking your bra from under your shirt and then pulling your shirt over your head. He took your hand and placed it over his large bulge between his legs.
“Feel what you do to me…” He gritted through his teeth his chest rising and falling sharply.

“Frankie- oh my god-please let me” You pulled he belt loose. At first he stops you. “I didn’t get to last time. Please?” He bit his lip considering your plea. He really just wanted to give and give and give to you. But he had been mean last time, not letting you touch his cock. So this time he doesn’t stop you as you unbutton his pants and pull him out of his boxers. You licked your lips as his cock fell into your hand, curving up towards you.
You hopped off the counter, getting onto your knees before him. “Take off your shirt… please?” He obliged. You kissed down his belly feeling it tighten against your lips. He watched you with fire in his eyes, his mouth slightly parted. You pushed the rest of his pants and boxers down. You stroked him slowly with both hands.
“You have to tell me what you like…” You held his cock and licked a long stripe from the base to the head making him moan weakly. You repeat the motion adding a few kitten licks at the end, lapping up the stray drops of salty precum. Frankie was struggling to think let alone speak. He gripped the countertop above you, his other hand going to the back of your head.
“Just- go slow.” You followed his instructions, slowly taking his length in your mouth. “Good-good girl.” He clenched his jaw staring down at the sight. Your hot mouth felt like heaven and your innocent eyes staring up at him was just the cherry on top. You took his dick as far as you could before you choked lightly. You were by no means an expert at giving blowjobs but you were frustrated you couldn't go further. Your jaw was already aching from his girth.
“Mm don’t hurt yourself, baby.” He hissed unable to hold his hips still, he jerked a little against you making you whine. “Come back up, remember to breathe.”
You slowly pulled off his cock before going down again. Frankie’s hand on your head gently guided you so you didn’t hurt your throat. You added suction, applying pressure on the underside of his cock. You started to find what he liked based on his sounds. You still couldn’t take him all the way in your mouth, tears gathered in corner of your eyes from the effort. Your hand pumped the rest that wouldn’t fit.
“Oh fuck.” Frankie gasped his hips jerking again making his cock slide back into your mouth. You moved one of your hands to his hips looking up at him to say it was okay. “Are you-you want me to fuck your mouth, sweet pea?” You nodded eagerly. You put one of you hands on his length where he wouldn’t fit. He gathered up some of your hair in a makeshift ponytail and slowly thrust into your mouth. Like he always did, he waited for you to nod and give him the okay. When you did, he couldn’t help the growl that left his throat. Drool leaked from your mouth onto your chest as he sped up using your head more forcefully. You were sure you had soaked through your panties. It turned you on so much to see him take control, use you for his pleasure, but still his grip on you was firm and gentle. Every grunt went straight to your pussy. “Such a good girl letting me use this hole, too.” He rasped. “You’re crying around my cock.”
“Mmhm” You hummed around his dick making him groan. He was close. He was battering the back of your throat. You could recognize the furrowed brow and the tightening of his balls. You intensified your ministrations.
“Good girl, good-I’m gonna cum in your little mouth.” He pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop. “Stick out your tongue, sweet pea.” He ordered. You obeyed, watching greedily as he fisted himself harshly the tip of his cock hitting your tongue. You placed your hands on either side of his tummy, anticipating his load. His chest was flush and his eyes were fluttering shut. When he came he yanked your head up harshly as cum splashed onto your tongue. You loved this perspective, watching his face contort with pleasure. You tried to take every drop but some dripped down your chin. “Swallow.” Frankie ordered roughly still maintaining his grip on your head. You swallowed, his warm cum sliding down your throat.
“Thank you, daddy.” You smiled up at him, wiping some of the stray cum off your chin. He let go of your hair, now stroking your head then your jaw. “Did I do well?”
“So good.” He chuckled and helped you stand, his breath still ragged. You squirmed pressing your thighs together. The move not missed by Frankie. “Did sucking my cock make you wet, sweet pea?”
You nodded shyly before saying “It’s okay though. You don’t have to-it’s late and we have a long drive tomorrow.”
“You’re always looking out for me but what kind of man would I be if I left you all needy. But you have to ask for it, sweet pea.”
“I kinda just want your mouth if that’s okay?” You asked feeling too tired for a full round of sex.
“Of course.” Frankie smiled. “Your mattress is still in the bedroom.” He led you in and helped settle you on the center of the mattress. He pulled your shorts and underwear off, staring at your slick reddened pussy. "You soaked your little panties, sweet pea. Did you touch your little flower while I was gone?" Frankie asked, pulling apart your legs.
"I-I tried to. But it wasn't the same."
"How come, little pea?" His patronizing tone had your cunt clenching. He was teasing you.
"It wasn't your fingers. I needed you." You huffed, trying to push his head down onto you.
"Mmm poor thing." Frankie chuckled, the rich sound giving you goosebumps. He felt his cock start to harden again despite you just sucked the soul out of him moments ago. He slowly licked up your slit moaning at the taste of you. Your head tipped back as he he slowly inserted a finger into you. "Eyes on me." He instructed. You forced your head back down so you could make eye contact. "Play with your tits for me." You obeyed, squeezing the flesh in your hand. He returned to his task, taking your clit in between his lips, quickly escalating your climax. Your hands never stood a chance. He inserted a second finger, curling it against you. They were so thick and long it hit that spot deep inside you it made you gush.
"Oh my god. Daddy-I'm-" You teetered on the precipice your breath caught in your throat. Your entire body erupted in flames as your mouth open in a silent scream. Frankie's eyes widened as your pussy strangled his fingers before fluttering uncontrollably. Your cum dripped onto his hand, he quickly replaced his fingers with his tongue trying to catch it all.
"That's it." He felt you finally take a shaking inhale. "Breathe, sweet pea. Breathe." Exhaustion hit you hard as every muscle relaxed.
"I'm sleepy..." You slurred.
"It's okay. You can go to sleep." Frankie leaned up kissing you, smearing your slick all over your mouth. He returned to licking your pussy less aggressively though. "I got you."
You nodded before drifting off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning you dump the last of your stuff at goodwill, packed the truck, turned in your key, and hit the road. You were bouncing in your seat with excitement. You hadn’t ever traveled south of DC. The landscape was beautiful. You and Frankie took turns driving, belting Fleetwood Mac on repeat. You forced Frankie to take obligatory selfies to remember the journey at rest stops or whenever the view was worthy. Over halfway to Miami you paused at a rest stop for a quick nap. Frankie was anxious to get you home and he didn’t want to stay put for too long. He was used to long drives and quick naps, but you weren’t. He didn’t want to exhaust you because there was so much he wanted to show you when you arrived. You laid across the backseat of the truck with your head in Frankie’s lap as the sun was going down.
In the early morning Frankie finished the drive. His own excitement increased when he was back in the city. You had your head nearly sticking out of the window looking at everything. You couldn’t believe how sunny and warm it was here. Frankie turned down a residential street. “Almost there.” He said. You buzzed in your seat.
Frankie made one last turn into a driveway. You instantly got warm feelings looking at the house. It was painted seagull grey with white trim. It was wonderfully symmetrical with two windows on the first and second floor with window boxes outside the first floor window. The front yard was nicely mowed.
“Your house is so cute!” You hopped out of the car, your legs enjoying the chance to stretch. The air smelled slightly salty being so close to the beach. The sun felt wonderful on your skin. You could have laid down in the grass and just fallen asleep.
Frankie showed you around his house with your hand in his, pointing out random things of importance in his giddy state. You followed him around with bright adoring eyes. Despite looking forward to this moment for a while, you barely looked at anything except for him. You could care less about where the tile for the fireplace came from. You didn’t remember Frankie’s story about how Will messed up his back moving in Frankie’s couch in because it was hitting you over and over again that you were home with Frankie. You didn’t pay attention to the story behind Rosie’s crib because Frankie was here with you. His warm hand holding you close like you may disappear. He was here with that damn cute excited voice as he showed you around his home, soon to be your home.
“Sweet pea? Earth to sweet pea?”
“Hmmm?” You smiled apologetically. Standing in the kitchen, the sun pouring in from the window above the sink bathed Frankie in golden light making him look ethereal.
“I said- we should start moving boxes in before it gets dark.”
“You haven’t shown me everything yet.” You realized.
“What did I miss?”
“Your room…” You swung your entwined hands back and forth.
“Our room, sweet pea.”
“So I won’t be sleeping on the floor?” You laughed.
“Never.” He kissed you briefly. “I just haven’t cleaned up in there and I need to make some space for your stuff and-“
“Frankie.” You quiet his rambling with another kiss. You couldn’t stop kissing him. “Your house is immaculate. That’s the room I want to see.”
He swallowed harshly before he led you up the stairs and down the narrow hallway to his room. While showing you the garden and the other rooms he was giddy but now he seemed more flustered. When you opened the door you could see why. Your candle was sitting on his bedside table. It was the first thing you saw when you walked in.
You immediately break away from him, going to inspect his bedside table. Glimpses of Frankie that made you love him all the more. Your candle, your books, your list, his sergeant pin, and an old alarm clock.
“Was this what you’re so embarrassed about?” You asked picking up the candle. It was almost used up. He averted his gaze. The back of his neck bright red which you recognized as a sign of his nervousness. “Frankie…” You set it down and took both his hands in yours. You couldn’t even convey what it meant to you. He had missed you that much that he burned your candle.
“I have the real thing now.” He said pulling you against his chest, dragging his nose over your cheek in reverence. You hummed in contentment. “This is our room, sweet pea. Our home.” He whispered.
“Our bed.” You added moving his hands to rest on your ass, wrapping your own around his neck.

“Eager girl.” He tutted, kissing just below your ear, squeezing your ass lightly.
“I can’t help it. I’ve waited so long, Frankie.” You tilt your head up resting your forehead against his.
“You’ll never have to wait again, princesa pea. I’m here.”
“Then I want you now.” You tugged him towards the bed. Falling down onto his comforter you were hit by a puff of his scent. Laundry detergent, old spice, and that indescribable musk that was Frankie. You barely got a chance to enjoy it before Frankie is falling on top of you. You laughed as he pulled you up the bed until you’re against the pillows. He's about to rip your clothes from you but-
“Wait wait- I have a gift for you.” His eyes lit up.
“Frankie…” You smiled “You didn’t have to get me anything.” He pushed away from you, walking over to his dresser. He pulled out a small package.

“Here.” He handed it to you.
You sat up. You felt guilty you didn’t get him a gift. You slowly peeled back the tape trying to save the paper. It was wrapped so nicely.
“Come on, rip it up. It’s just paper.”
“No… I wanna save it.” You argued, pulling it open finally. You stared down at the contents in your lap. It was a book with a pink cover and loopy writing. Our Little Kingdom. “Frankie… this is- this is my book.” You felt your eyes swim with tears.
“I know.” Frankie knelt in front of you. “I read it and it was so good. I wanted to get it bound. I was serious when I said want to publish it. I want to make it happen. But if you don’t want to at least we can enjoy it how it’s meant to be enjoyed.”
You flipped through the pages smelling the fresh paper. You reached the end and noticed Frankie had slipped in something as a book mark. It was a torn half of a check. “This is…”
“The check I tore up. I use it as a bookmark so I thought you would-“
You launched yourself at Frankie, a habit you learned from him when words were just simply not enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you woke up, you were surrounded by Frankie’s scent, warm sun hitting your face. Frankie wasn't there. You heard movement downstairs. You threw on the first shirt of Frankie's you could find. You practically skipped down the stairs, heart leaping when you saw Frankie in his PJ pants and nothing else sitting at the kitchen table. His body was lit up in the morning sun, he looked like a goddamn dream. He was shoveling some cereal into his mouth but he stopped when he noticed you. He still looked so sexy to you in this moment, his strong arms and big hand gripping the small spoon. His chest littered with small hickies you made. You blinked a couple of times wanting to imprint this image into your brain forever.
“What are you doing up so early?”
“The sun woke me up!”
“Shit. I would have made you some breakfast or something.”
“That’s okay.” You smiled going to stand in front of him. You kissed him, licking some of the milk from his lips. Your hands rested on his bare golden shoulders. You loved how wide they were and how solid and warm they felt.
“Mmm is this mine, sweet pea?” He tugged at the Fleetwood Mac shirt hanging down to your thighs.
“No, it’s another boys.” You teased.
“Don’t joke about that, little pea.” Frankie warned with a small swipe to your ass.
“I’m sorry, daddy.” You giggled. “I was only joking. No one else has cool shirts like you.”
“You want some cereal? I can also make eggs or pancakes or-“
“I want-” You slipped your hand over his pants. You could feel his slightly hard cock sitting below. “This.”
“You already had some last night and you still want more?” Frankie groaned his thighs spreading further around you. “I thought you’d be sore, sweet pea.”
“I am.” You admitted kissing him quickly. “but I still want you.”
“Mmm…” Frankie pulled your hand away watching you pout. “I think you need to eat something first.”
“No I don’t!”
“Come on, I’ll let you sit on your special seat.” He tapped his thigh. You debated this. You decided to do what he asked, not wanting to test your luck so early in the day. You hopped up on his lap wiggling back until his semi hard cock was pressed against your back. Your thighs sitting over his legs, your pussy peaking out from his shirt. Frankie rested his big hands on your bare thighs rubbing the skin back and forth. You closed your eyes enjoying his touch. You could feel his breath against your neck as he looked down at the sight.
“Do I look good on my special seat, daddy?” You asked looking up at him.
“Perfect, my little pea.” Frankie smiled. He pulled the cereal over and you popped a bite in your mouth. You didn’t normally like cereal but since Frankie asked…
“Okay, done. I’ve eaten.”
“Woah I hardly call that eating.” Frankie shook his head. He placed a hand on your stomach, fingers splayed out over the entire width almost. He applied a little pressure which had you squirming again. God his hands were so big and warm just above where you needed him. “I can feel little rumblings telling me you’re hungry, sweet pea.” You rock against him more intentionally making him catch his breath.
“Not for cereal.” You bit your lip.
“One more bite, sweet pea. For daddy?” He rubbed his beard into your neck which never failed to make you to laugh.

You took another spoonful of the soggy cereal before looking up at him for approval. He chuckled as you chewed quickly. You looked so cute with your cheeks full. It made cock ache.
“Good job, sweet pea.” He smirked when you swallowed it all. He lowered his hand down to cup your pussy which was already dripping. You hand flew to his thick forearm.
You melted against him as he rubs your clit slowly. Last night was hurried and desperate but now it was like he had all the time in the world. You listened to him take large inhale against your neck, smelling you.
“You look so beautiful, sweet pea. In my shirt. In our kitchen.”
“Fuck…” You moaned. His fingers felt so wonderful and thick against you. You fucking loved the sound of that. Ours.
“I’m gonna fuck you on our table.”
He lifted you up with ease, pushing your back down on the table. The sun coming through the window bathed your body in soft light. You looked divine. Frankie had your legs spread wide, tongue on that pussy before you could even blink. “Holy shit. Daddy!” Your hands clenched into fists at your side.
“Sweet pea.” Frankie pulled off, lips wetted by your slick. You blushed under his hot gaze. “Why don’t you pull my hair?”
You whimpered as he took your little fist and put it in his beautiful locks. “I want to but… the last person I was with didn’t like it.” You turned your head to the side trying to hide your embarrassment. His hair felt like silk in your hands.
“Hey-“ Frankie gently grabbed your chin and turned you to look at him. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He was leaning over you, invading all your senses, but of course the aspect that hit you hardest was his voice. Soft and reassuring. That rich baritone that made you fall in love in the first place. “Pull my hair, baby, I wanna know how well I treat this pussy. You won’t hurt me.”
You nodded feeling your eyes wet with tears. His affection never ceased to shock you. He kissed you, softening your worried look with each stroke of his tongue. When you were relaxed, he returned to your pussy. He was a fast learner for the times, applying the pressure you needed with his tongue while hitting that spot inside your walls with his fingers. Your hands were laced in his soft hair tugging almost unconsciously.
“Fuck-Daddy" You gasped feeling your breath. Your stomach tightened but you still felt like you weren't quite to your breaking point. "I can't- I need- I need-"
"What, sweet pea, what do you need?" Frankie paused, looking at you struggle above him. You grabbed his hand which was holding your hip and moved it to your throat. "Holy shit." Frankie's eyes widened.
"I need you to push me over-" you struggled to think of how to explain it but Frankie started applying light pressure over your throat making your cunt tighten around his fingers. The strain on your airway finally brought you to the edge. He returned to your clit and didn’t let up even as your walls clamped and gushed around his fingers. Didn’t stop as your back arched off the table, your toes curled, and your hands pulled his hair almost painfully. He let go of your throat when you tapped his wrist and your breath returned ragged and sharp, extending your orgasm. You brushed some of Frankie’s hair from his forehead and he looked up, making eye contact, as his lips suckled on your clit lightly. You didn’t say anything for a moment, feeling your body come down from that peak, basking in Frankie’s loving gaze between your legs. You felt boneless.
“I love you.” You murmured. Frankie surged up, capturing your lips in a wet kiss. He pulled back and kissed the happy tears falling from your eyes that you didn’t realize had fallen.
“I love you, too. I’m never letting you go.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m home.” You wrapped your legs around his waist, needing to feel that promise inside you. Needing his promise filling you up.
“Are you sure you’re not too sore?”
“I’m sure.” You ran your hand through his hair, now addicted to the feeling of it.
Frankie slowly eased himself into your pussy. It was harder without lube. You winced a little once he was fully inside. Fuck he was so big.
"Am I hurting you?" Frankie felt bad and started to pull out.
"No please." You arched your back trying to hold him inside. "I'm okay. I want- I want-."
"Sweet pea..." He bit his lip as he struggled to resist thrusting into you.
"And if I can't walk- then you can carry me." You wiggled your hips. Frankie couldn't help but laugh at that not that he minded carrying you around. "Please, daddy." You asked one last time as you dug your heels into his lower back. Frankie placed his hands on your waist and started fucking into you slowly, withdrawing almost all the way out before thrusting back in again.
“I’m so proud of you… taking my cock like a good girl.” He kissed you softly, moving to kiss a train down your neck to your nipples and back up. "You're home now." You nodded in agreement. "This is our little kingdom, sweet pea.” Your shallow breaths slowly transformed into moans. You felt your muscles relax a little and signaled he could start moving faster.
Needless to say the cereal on the table shook and spilled as he fucked you. Spilled milk on your table. His cum spilled inside you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frankie enjoyed hosting so much since Rosie’s birthday he wanted to have a Fourth of July barbecue. With your help he took the decorations to the next level. Hanging fairy lights over the patio, and renting a bouncy castle for the kids. In an act of irrational niceness, you had said it was okay if Laura came by, that way Rosalia would be there too.
Frankie was clear he had no desire to hide you. He wanted to show you off. Still, you dreaded meeting Frankie's ex. Rosalia had warmed to you quickly even preferring you to hold her. You already loved her so much. Today she wanted you to follow her everywhere and watch her play. Frankie was stuck behind the grill but he still could watch his girls playing. You were wearing a lovely red sundress which Frankie was looking forward to stripping off. It brushed your thighs in the breeze and it was perfect height for Rosalia to tug on when she wanted to be picked up.
“You’ve done a great job with the decor.” Laura appeared at Frankie’s side.
“Thanks.” Frankie smiled tightly. Her surprised tone confirmed that she always underestimated him.
“You’ve been happier lately.” Laura studied Frankie.
“I guess.” Frankie shrugged turning one of the hot dogs for something to do.
“It just has me remembering the old days. Before everything with you happened.” Frankie prickled at that last statement. Everything with you. She always put it on him totally forgetting how she also made things worse.
“Frankie?” You appeared at his other side, eyeing Laura warily and doing little to hide your dislike. You had seen from yards away how Frankie tensed up, looking down. You wouldn’t let that slide so you went over. Finally removing your glare from his ex wife you look up at him, laying a reassuring hand over his forearm. “Uh- people are getting hungry. How soon until it’s done?”
“It’s ready now.” Frankie smiled down at you, instantly feeling more at ease. His answer let you know he was okay.
“Great I’ll wrangle everyone.” You smiled before darting back to the crowd.
“Who is that?” Laura frowned. “Someone's babysitter?”
“No.” Frankie shut off the grill facing his ex wife face to face. “She’s my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” Laura sounded skeptical. “She’s 12.”
“She’s a woman.” Frankie corrected her. “A woman I love very much.” He wasn’t going to listen to anyone look down on you.
“You should have talked to me before you brought her around Rosie.” Laura huffed, putting a hand on her hip.
“You had no problem parading your boyfriends around during our divorce.” Frankie shot back quickly looking to make sure they couldn’t be heard. “It’s in the court records so I doubt you want to bring it up.”
“Frankie…” Laura seemed to regret what she said.
“Let’s just… move on.” Frankie said as people started to draw near.
“Papa!” He heard Rosie squeal, toddling towards him.
“Rosie!” He picked her up, his anger instantly melting away. “Ready for your hot dog?”
As Frankie and the others started filling up their plates Laura crept closer to you as you were cleaning up some of the kid’s mess by the pool.
“Excuse me. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Laura.” She extended her hand. She was taller than you. Her face was tight as if she was holding in her sneer.
“Hi.” You decided to be nice, shaking the woman’s hand. You introduced yourself.
“So… you and Frankie. “
“Yes.”
“How long has that been going on?”
“A few months.” You said keeping it vague.
“And it’s going well?”
“Yes.” You grew annoyed by her vague questioning. Obviously it was going well since you were here. Her eyes were the total opposite of Frankie's. Hard and cold and icy blue. You quietly thanked god that Rosalia had inherited Frankie's eyes.
“Hmm he’s not doing that crazy thing anymore?”
“What thing?” You frowned.
“Well one time while we were together he stayed up the whole night because he thought some criminal or something was after us.” Laura laughed cruelly. You wanted to slap her for her lack of sympathy. What was funny about Frankie’s fear? “The psychiatrist said there would be delusions but that was just too much.”
“I think I’ve heard enough.” You snipped, trying to keep at least a polite facade. There were people just a few feet away. You prayed the couldn’t hear.
“Hey I’m sorry.” She schooled her features. “Don’t think I’m cruel. It wasn’t easy being with someone like that. I’m trying to look out for you.”
“Thanks for that. I think I'm good though.” You finished picking up the last pool toy and walked away before Laura could say more. You wanted to turn back and say something mean but you were determined to be the bigger person. You didn’t want to start drama that would hurt Frankie and Rosalia. You spent a good minute in the garage after putting the toys back, positively fuming.
“Sweet pea?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts, joining you in the garage. “Aren’t you hungry?”
"I was just cleaning up.” You said though your hands were empty.
“I saw Laura talking to you.” He watched you warily. Fear lapped at him. What did Laura tell you...“Everything okay?”
“She just… a bitch.” You huffed. Your word choice made Frankie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry I know you married her but how? She’s awful and rude and judgmental.”
“I know.” Frankie quieted his laughter, pulling you into his chest. “It wasn’t meant to last.”
“Because she’s a bitch.” You grumbled into his chest making Frankie laugh again. His tummy bounced against yours with his laughter. You loved it. You thought again about what Laura said. How cruel she had been in the face of Frankie’s PTSD. “If she says one more rude thing I may have to smack her.”
“You’re hot when you’re possessive, you know that?” Frankie smiled tickling your sides. “Come on, we should get back before our guests start to notice.”
“Alright.” You agreed, taking his hand and following him out of the garage. You felt Laura’s eyes on you two when you came back to the yard. Frankie got your burger set up for you before doing his. It’s the simple things that got you going; how giving he is. You tried to hide your blush from the onlookers as Frankie asked you ketchup or mustard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once everyone went home you and Frankie laid out a blanket in the back so you could watch the fireworks happening on the beach a mile away. He was quiet, at least more than he usually is. You didn’t know what to say to reassure him so again you reverted to touch. You placed your hand on his thigh reassuringly.
“Frankie?” You turned to him. “Do you want to talk about anything?”
“No.” He seemed taken aback by your question.
“Okay.” You moved closer to him until you were tucked into his side.
“You mean about Laura.” Frankie said after a moment. “Just- she didn’t say anything to you to make you upset right? She doesn’t get under my skin anymore. I don’t want her to get under yours.”
“She didn’t get under my skin.” You replied. She said nothing to make you insecure, just make you angry at her is all. “I’m just protective of you, you know. It seems like she was awful to you.”
“It’s fine.” Frankie shrugged.
“No.” You moved to sit on his lap, straddling him. “It’s not. You came back from your deployment probably in need of some comfort and all she gave you was judgment."
“She told you about that night.” Frankie hung his head in humiliation. You didn’t deny it. You didn’t want to upset him but part of you knew he should talk about this. Laura shouldn’t be the only one who holds this memory over his head. “It was my first night back. I just- I swore I heard gunfire. I was freaking out. I was probably acting really scary. I thought they came for me and she-Laura called the cops on me.”
“How could she…” You teared up on behalf of Frankie.
“I ran.” He continued, his voice thick. “I stayed a Will’s and calmed down. That was the end of the marriage.” He rubbed up and down your thighs under your dress. It always comforted him. You tried to think of what to say. His wife, the person who was supposed to love him the most, ostracized him and criminalized him.
Frankie was anticipating you to be afraid of him or push him away, but to his surprised you pulled him into a hug, holding his head against your neck like he was a child. He felt a sob rise in his throat and tears wet his eyes. You were so... kind. It was something he was still learning to accept and realize he deserved .
“You’re right.” You took a breath to relax yourself. “It doesn’t matter what she says. You’re mine now. Not hers.” You kissed Frankie on his nose then kissed his mouth.
“Always, sweet pea.” He rubbed his thumb over the area of your brow that furrowed in residual anger.
“I just wish there were some way…” you chewed your lip. “I have these-“ you pulled his dog tags out from where they hung between your breasts. “Reminds me I’m yours.”
“Maybe I need a necklace too.” Frankie smiled squeezing your thighs. That got you thinking…
“Can I try something?” You asked. Frankie nodded looking amused. You tugged at his shirt pulling it over his head. You never got over how broad he was. His toned arms were flexed holding himself up. You leaned forward planting a wet kiss on Frankie’s neck where it met his shoulder.
“Mmm gonna mark me up?”
You nodded and sucked harder till you were satisfied it would leave a mark. Pulling back you admired the red blooming where your mouth had been. It shouldn’t affect you as much as it did but you loved that he had a physical mark from you. He had scars here and there from cross fire and stab wounds. Some he wouldn’t go into detail. You loved them all but for once you wanted him to have a mark born out of love.
“I’m gonna give you a necklace, daddy.” You murmured tracing the path you would forge, down and around to the other side of his neck. You were gonna make hicks all around his neck like a chain. You leaned back down and planted another mark below and slightly to the right.
“Holy shit.” Frankie groaned, tilting his head back. He felt his cock start to harden under your attention. You slowly made your way across his hot skin until you had seven little wet hickies starting to show through the skin. You traced them with your finger, connecting the dots.
Frankie looked down, watching in fascination. His dog tags were a bittersweet thing, symbolizing his commitment to the military, but you wanted them. You wore them proudly, giving him more closure than 100 hours of therapy. But this... this new chain on his skin represented his belonging to you. “Beautiful, baby girl. Thank you.” He kissed you sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You pulled away before he could deepen it. You start to lean down again like you were going to plant another hickie on him. He pushed you back and rolled the both of you over.
“Daddy! I wasn’t done yet.” You wiggled against the soft blanket.
“No it’s daddy’s turn now.” He pushed the straps of your dress down your arms, tugging your neckline down.
“But I already have a necklace.” You felt Frankie’s dog tags lying in your cleavage.
“Now you’ll have two. I spoil my girl like that.” Frankie teased. He kissed up and down your neck before settling on his starting place. When he started sucking it sent a lightning bolt straight to your clit. You gasped. You could feel him hard against your thigh, not fully yet. You rocked your hips impatiently, clutching his head against you.
“Be patient, baby.” He warned, pausing his work. You stilled your hips with a pout. “Good girl.” He resumed. You wanted to be naughty but you knew you’d never win that fight. Problem was you were loving his attention on your neck so much you couldn’t help but start grinding against his leg again. Your hand reached down and tried to stroke his hardening cock. Frankie pulled back, his lips swollen from giving you hickies. He was only halfway around your chest now.
“You’re being naughty…” Frankie chided, lightly slapping your hand away from him. You continued squirming under his gaze though you at least look apologetic. Frankie pulled away. “You don’t want your necklace?” Frankie pretended to be hurt.
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” You turned on the puppy dog eyes. “Just- your mouth feels so good.”
“If you’re not gonna behave I’m gonna have to make you behave.” Frankie’s mouth curled into a smirk. Your stomach flipped around in excitement. “Sit back up on your knees.” He ordered. You eagerly sat up on your knees, placing your hands on your thighs. Your dress hung around your waist. Frankie stood up and started undoing his belt. You got excited thinking he was going to let you suck his cock but instead he just pulled his belt from his pants and knelt down again. “Remember just say stop if you want to stop.” Frankie reminds you.
You nodded your eyes dilating, staring at the leather in his hands.
“Hands behind your back, baby.” He instructed. You obeyed your knees widening subconsciously. He tied his belt around your wrists. It’s not tight enough to hurt but you certainly could not move your hands without really trying. Frankie licked his lips, staring down at your vulnerable position. “Good little sweet pea.” He cooed. “Now you won’t be able to be naughty. What do you say?”
“Thank you, daddy.” You whispered feeling your cheeks burn at the depravity of your position. The smooth leather of his belt rubbed against your pulse point and Frankie’s smell filled your nose. You’re out in the open. Sure there was a fence but it still heightened your arousal. You were dripping you were sure of it. He knelt before you again to finish his hickies. He held your hair pulling it back to give himself more room.
You tried to lift up your arms multiple times but got stopped by the belt. You whined as he sucked another mark into you and you couldn’t get any stimulation in this position. Frankie let you moan and whine for him but he didn’t stop his mission. He finally pulled back, his hooded eyes evaluated at his work.
“Look at it, baby.”
You looked down at the curved line of hickies running from collarbone to collarbone. “Thank you, daddy, for my necklace. I love it so much.” You looked at his chest. You were matching now. Your lust was momentarily paused as a fresh wave of adoration washed over you. It was so much deeper than sex. Frankie noticed your change in expression and kissed you softly, bringing you back to the moment.
“You sat still for me so good. Now you can ask for what you want.” He strokes your hair softly.
“I wanna-I wanna suck you cock please?”
“Are you sure?” Frankie smiled. “You don’t want my mouth on you or-"
“No.” You shook your head. The emotions swirling in you from lust to love made you hungry for one thing. “I wanna make you cum in my mouth.”
“Fuck.” He groaned before kissing you hard, licking into your mouth. He never had someone as giving and kind and protective of him as you. He could have cried but there was no need because you were his forever. No yearning just living. He reached around to pull off the belt but you stopped him with a small voice.
“Leave it on.”
“Jesus fucking christ.” Frankie stood quickly. You sat up further, your hands still restrained behind your back. Your head was tilted up at him, your dress bunched around your waist, it was the most beautiful fucking sight.
Red blue and white fireworks dazzled the sky above. He picked you up bridal style and carried you inside as quickly as he could while you giggled in delight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things started clicking into place like you were growing along some metaphorical ladder. You were finally where you needed to be. You got a job working at the VA in Miami, running their re-entry program. A small publishing house in Miami loved your book and agreed to publish it for a short run. Frankie took some money out of the Colombia account to cover the rest of the contract. Frankie had the book for sale at the shop pushing it on anyone who would enter. He was so proud of you. And that was all that mattered to you.
Frankie unironically planted sweet pea in the garden, telling you how they are slow to grow, but their delicate flower and sweet smell is worth the wait; just like you. Sweet peas were climbers, with the right support, they would bend to any shape. You knew you could go as high as the sky with Frankie by your side.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist: @floraandfrost @agingerindenial, @heythere-mel, @icanbeyourjedi, @linnie0119, @pedrosmustache, @thisshipwillsail316, @peterhollandkait, @leias-rebelion, @phoenix-of-loki, @prettypedros, @kennedywxlsh, @punkerthanpascal, @the-witty-pen-name, @twentyfirstcenturyfox, @madslorian, @sarahjkl82-blog, @bison-writes, @lightning-fast54, @maievdenoir, @nicolethered, @kenoobiwan, @danniburgh, @janebby, @dihra-vesa, @yespolkadotkitty, @ilikechocolatemilkh, @headinthestarz, @tanyaherondale, @christina-loves, @dobbyjen, @fangirl-316
493 notes · View notes
tarosin · 3 years
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The great adventures of y/n, Tommy, Jack and Tubbo
Requested:yes/no
Pairing: Platonic jack/tommy/tubbo/reader
Summary: another day another adventure
Content warning: cursing / I didn't proof read
An: reader has bright unnatural hair I wrote a lot, I can't figure out how to add read more on mobile I'm sorry
The music you were currently listening to was interrupted by the discord group notifying you that you have a new message.
Tommy: Y/N HOW BUSY ARE YOU TUBBO HAS COME TO VISIT AND JACK IS HERE
y/n: I mean I've currently got hair dye on but it’s being washed off and dried in around 20 minutes, why?
y/n: WAIT TUBBO?!?!
tubbo: oh yeah I forgot to tell you
y/n: how did you forget you know what nevermind, I’m glad you’re here :]
jack: we should be here in an hour so you have plenty of time to get ready
tubbo: what colour dye y/n
y/n: you’ll see soon enough as apparently, you’re all showing up at my house
Tommy: I suggest you wear comfortable shoes
y/n: I am terrified
Tommy: you have nothing to fear... for now
•••
luckily it had only taken you just over 40 minutes to get ready giving you roughly 20 minutes to prepare for the adventure ahead. or so you thought, as soon as you sat down ready to check your phone the sound of Tommy and tubbo laughing could be heard from your room, jack sent a message “hey we got here extremely early I’m sorry there’s no rush the others have been distracted by dreams music :)”
grabbing a backpack from next to your bed you had quickly chucked your phone and purse into the bag unsure as to what you’re going to need today.
•••
as soon as you opened the door you were met with an ecstatic tubbo who instantly pulled you into a hug unable to contain their excitement of seeing their friend
“I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES YOUVE CHANGED SO MUCH LOOK AT YOUR HAIR”
“I look exactly the same”
“Now I’m no genius y/n but last time we spoke you didn’t have unnatural hair”
you paused for a moment as tubbo had a point the last time you and tubbo were on face time your hair was classed as a natural colour however today as a fuck you to your school which didn’t allow unnatural hair you decided to dye it your favourite colour.
“you raise a fair point now if you don’t mind releasing me from your grasp I have to lock the door so no one gets in”
•••
“Tommy unlock the door let tubbo and y/n in”
“Y/N YOU'RE HERE- HOLY SHIT YOUR HAIR! JACK ARE YOU SEEING THIS”
“Hello to you too Tommy”
“well if we weren’t going to get noticed at the shopping centre earlier y/ns bright fucking hair will definitely cause people to notice us”
“oh I’m sorry I didn’t expect to be going shopping with a bunch of Minecraft streamers today”
“don’t you stream Minecraft?”
“This isn’t about me jack”
the trip to the shops was surprisingly relaxing y/n sat at the front listening to jack sing along to songs playing on the radio, however, it was clear the boys had something they weren’t telling y/n which became evident through Tommy and tubbo bickering in the back of the car about who was going to tell them. it was a relatively short journey due to the fact you lived close to the city centre
•••
“let’s go shopping boys” Tommy practically yelled to everyone, tubbo held his phone in your direction then looked towards you, nodding at him you grabbed his phone and began recording
“I'm vlogging”
Tommy walked over “YEAHHHHH”
walking past cex you had to put up with Tommy making sex jokes until you made it to game, you stood holding back your laugh as you filmed Tommy and tubbo fighting about who’s paying whilst jack went off to buy a Minecraft squishy and mug despite everyone’s arguments against it. soon enough fans came over asking for photos with you all once the group of fans left jack took over recording for tubbo whilst you went off to quickly buy some games that you could play on stream.
•••
“want a wig bro? jack!”
the four of you walked into the shop, you couldn’t help but stand in awe looking at all the bright colours already questioning what colour to dye your hair next the sound of Tommy and jack being amazed pulled you out of your thoughts
“Gogy goggles, I’m actually buying them”
“i wan’t a pair”
“no, you’re getting a wig jack”
“I don’t want a wig I want George”
“y/n has bright hair and they’re not complaining”
“what do you have against people with colourful hair jack hmm?”
•••
“I'm not happy”
“you look lovely jack”
“we’re getting so many looks”
tubbo stopped everyone to ‘fix’ jacks wig which resulted in everyone laughing once you had finally stopped laughing you noticed tubbo had walked off and you were convinced jack had randomly decided to record strangers until you saw tubbo going up and down escalators
“oh there he goes again”
“pov you’re thinking about bees”
“where to next boys?”
Tommy pointed towards the lift
“Is this a lift for us”
Tommy noticed the safety sign and automatically made comments about it
“keeping us all safe is what I would say if I wasn’t carrying a knife”
“oh same Tommy”
“look you can see me”
taking that as an invitation to join the vlog you stood behind tubbo and pointed at the sign again and looked at Tommy and jack
“keeping us all safe is what I would say if we weren’t about to do this-“
the three of you went to jump up and down
“NO”
the four of you quietly left the lift however you were convinced that the public heard Tommy comment on having a knife and you threatening to jump as once the lift opened everyone was staring at you but it could also be due to the fact you had brightly coloured hair and somehow convinced jack to keep the wig on, you all spent a long time trying to convince Tommy to get a new outfit, eventually you went into another shop a certain keyboard caught your eye
“I’ve found my home, ill stay here at the gamer bunker”
you decided now was the perfect time to sneak off to buy the keyboard that had caught your eye, once tubbo noticed it was too late you stood holding the bag with your purchase leaving you stood in the middle of the shop defending your purchase to him claiming that it was a business expense and not just because you thought it looked cool.
“you told me you wanted to save your money”
“it lights up tubbo and it fits the vibe of my room”
Tommy placed his arm on your head treating you as an armrest as you were shorter than him and he knew it annoyed you
“they have a point tubbo it lights up”
once the recording ended you made your way back to the car
“say y/n you wouldn’t mind if me Tommy and jack stayed the night as tomorrow we were thinking-“
“sure thing”
“YESSSSSS”
•••
the next day you were woken up at 9 am by Tommy stood at the foot of your bed
“hi y/n”
“WHAT THE FUCK- oh hi Tommy Jesus christ do you know how horrifying that was to wake up to”
“Sorry bout that but if I didn’t wake you up now you’d only wake up in the afternoon and we need to go soon I’ll leave you to get ready”
you noticed a note was next to a jumper on the floor ‘hi, thanks for letting us stay the night I really liked your hoodie so I decided to wear it today here’s mine in exchange- Tubbo :D’
normally you’d be concerned that someone stole your hoodie as you live with your parents however today was an exception once you were all ready you set off jack pulled into a McDonald's drive-through so you could all get breakfast
“nice hoodie y/n”
“Thanks, someone took mine and decided to make a trade”
“you’re welcome”
the journey was quiet again you sat next to tubbo in the back Tommy sat at the front screaming at jack and trying to distract him and people around you decided to took a picture with tubbo who now had his arm wrapped around you as it was rather cold in the car and posted it to Twitter ‘@ ranboosaysstuff wish you were here :D’ less than a minute later you received 2 notifications ‘ranboosaysstuff replied to your tweet: same’ ‘ ranboosaysstuff has tweeted: *the spongebob gif*’
•••
soon enough you all arrived at mint golf to say you we’re excited would be an understatement
“can I get the shortest club you have”
you stood hiding your face in the jumper tubbo left you whilst you laughed a few minutes later you received a call from ranboo the others said they’d sort everything for you whilst you answered
“what’s up tall one”
“stay safe okay”
“ranboo it’s mini-golf I’m not fighting criminals”
“yes but I know how clumsy you are”
“first of all rude second of all fuck you third of all jealousy isn’t a good look on you” you managed to say through laughter
“jokes aside please come to the UK boo”
“oh sure I’ll go book a plane ticket now” *ranboo ended the call*
ranboo made jokes like that before however this time sounded a lot more serious and you had no idea why he called you so you made a mental note to call him again later. once with friends again you were met with Tommy telling the worker all about you all
“yeah we’re big on the influencing”
“What on earth did I walk in on”
“no time to explain let’s go golf”
you were handed a club and a ball and were dragged away by jack
•••
tubbo joked about getting a hole on one as soon as it was his go, you bet £10 with jack he wouldn't
“hand over the money y/n”
you looked at Tommy who was now recording you handing jack the money “so today we have learnt to not underestimate your friends and that gambling is bad. you lose your money to a tall bald guy”
to put it politely you and Tommy found out that mini golf is not your calling in life
“ill stick to streaming“
“you’re both losing by the way”
“yeah well- why and how does tubbo have soup”
tubbo stood cradling the soup as though it was a child
“Some things I can’t explain to you”
you stood tilting your head to the side questioning where the hell he got soup from
“eh”
“soups like a small child I take care of it as if it was my own”
you couldn’t contain your laughter at this point the confused faces of your friends alongside tubbos happiness of soup sent you over the edge so you decided to just sit down before you fall as your knees were already weak from laughing too much
“where did you get the soup from”
“I manifested it”
•••
after a few solid minutes of arguing over soup you and Tommy dropping the phone you all continued with bowling.
“tubbo get out of the way of my dream ball”
you stood recording jack cheering him on tubbo had different plans and kicked the ball away resulting in jack giving up and copying what you had been doing most of the rounds, after missing the hole 3 times each go, picking up the ball and placing it in the hole however again he missed
“you can’t be serious”
“golf isn’t for everyone big man”
Tommy took the phone from you to record “pov you’re me golfing”
•••
“how do we get across there”
“probably the bridge”
Tommy pulled to rope moving the bridge across the gap
“Why thank you, Tommy, wouldn’t have been able to do it without you”
you laughed
“you're extremely welcome y/n it was extremely easy because I’m a big muscly man”
golf was finally going well till you hit the ball a bit too hard causing it to go over the fence tubbo was able to get the ball back
“I’ve been watching a lot of doctor shows” you stood amazed at how far you made the ball go
“see the issue is its mini golf. if this was regular golf I'd have got a hole in one I'm telling you”
•••
“I'm never being in your vlog again”
jack looked at you and tubbo who was now laughing at you pretending to worship the can of soup in the hole
“Tommy please come back”
the rest of the game was chaos, you kept missing the hole then claiming to rage quit golf tubbo and Tommy kept making jokes jack left his drink somewhere then had to go back and find it, no one had been paying attention to you which allowed you to take the score sheet and make it so you had won the game eventually he game was over you had declared yourself the champion of golf despite the fact everyone was better than you including Tommy
•••
the journey back was chaos you called ranboo who claimed he only called you to plan a video/stream with you however it was clear that wasn’t the reason tubbo whispered to you so no one could hear
“I think he wants to be here with us I think he’s jealous”
you laughed and nodded
“of course”
eventually, you all made it back to yours, ranboo said goodbye to everyone then ended the call now it was time for you to say your goodbyes. since your love language was physical touch you hugged everyone. As you walked into your house Tommy yelled “Y/N HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT PLANES”
778 notes · View notes
httpdabi · 3 years
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My pet
Genre: romance, smut, normal AU with no quirks, university!reader x professor! Dabi,
Summary: Maybe skipping his class wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, the detention could wait for some other time, not like you weren’t getting sick of it anyway.
Words: 6.8k
Warnings: 18+, praise kink, bit of fingering in public place, semi public sex, unprotected sex, creampie.
Taking a deep breath you tried to calm yourself down a little. From all the papers, you had to lose the one from Professors Aizawa’s classes, which was pretty important. And the fact that he had a pretty big dislike of you didn’t help either, since you were sure that he will nag about it a whole moth or give you little to no time to write it again.
Rolling your eyes, you collected all the papers on the floor, putting them in one box, accepted the fact that your paper is nowhere to be found. With a big sigh you stood up and poured the hot coffee in your cup to go, before you took your bag from the floor and left your apartment.
You weren’t in the mood for Uni today, but at least you had only few classes, which meant you won’t spend much time there.
You checked your phone one last time, before you locked the door and hurried downstairs to catch your bus. Using the app, you always checked when will the bus arrive, giving yourself 5 minutes to catch it. This time you went out a bit earlier, since Aizawa’s class was the first one. After all you didn’t have the paper done, you couldn’t afford yourself more shit with being late.
,,Fuck’’ you hissed when you saw the bus already on the bus stop. You were about to run, but once you noticed all the people squished in it, you couldn’t force yourself to do it. After all, you were never sporty, every time you had to run to catch the bus, he would simply speed off and leave you half dead on the bus stop. Yeah, you had a condition of a dead horse.
,,I’ll be a bit late’’
you texted your best friend Mina as you sat on the small waiting bench. The next bus will arrive in 8 Minutes, which was enough time for you to smoke one. Upset about everything, you smoked your cigarette almost aggressively, puffing on it like it was your last one.
You don’t run. There is always a possibility that you will die if you run. So, it’s better if you come a bit late, then not at all. You thought to yourself.
Some people don’t come to the classes at all and no one gives a shit, yet you are worried about some stupid paper and being late.
When the bus arrived, you turned the cigarette off and got inside, finding yourself an empty seat as you hopped into it. Momo texted you that Aizawa is not even there and that maybe there’s a chance you’ll arrive before him.
Of course there’s no chance you’ll be able to do it, since the bus driver took his time driving. You were sure they had something against you. When you are trying to catch a bus, they suddenly turn into Formula 1 drivers as they speed off, but when you are inside of the bus, they follow every possible rule and drive so slow.
The moment you arrived, you walked pretty fast surprisingly, every second step you took, you tried to force yourself to run. You tried to push yourself between the students that had their best time in the fucking hallway of the Uni. Most of them giving you a weird looks as you started to run for the first time, upstairs.
Opening the door of the huge class, you stood there confused. The man standing there wasn’t Aizawa, so you looked around to check if the classroom was the correct one. It was. Scanning the room, you saw Momo in the last row giggling at you. Giving the man one last look, you made your way to your best friend.
,, You didn’t check your messages, did you?’’ She whispered quietly, as you hopped between her and Mina. Shaking your head you took out your notebook and placed it on the table, while Momo explained to you what’s going on.
So, Aizawa had some problems which forced him to be absent for the next 6 months, making his assistant Touya Todoroki take over his classes.
The three of you chit chatted quietly, as your new so called Professor was calling out your names to mark the list. Like in high school, you thought to your self as you put your hand up when your last name was called. Professor Aizawa never did that, one look was enough for him to notice who is absent and who’s not.
Everyone knew Touya Todoroki. He was around your age, and that made students a little bit more comfortable around him. You heard that he finished Uni one or two years ago, being one of the top students. Being that smart, and Aizawa’s one of favorites, they gave him the chance to work there as his assistant.
In your opinion, joking around with the students wasn’t really smart of him, since there’s always a possibility that they won’t take him seriously later on. But hey, maybe you were wrong.
Once the introduction was done, and he said enough about himself and all the plans Aizawa had for the next 6 months, he said that he’ll call your names out in alphabetical order, for you to give him your paper and sign the list he prepared for it.
You felt a bit uneasy when you realized that till now, all of them had their work finished and the possibility that you’re the only one that didn’t have it made your stomach twist.
When your name was called out, you thought about some lies you could tell him, none of them good enough.
,,I’ve lost it’’ you breathed out as you clapped your hands and slowly nodded your head. He gave you the ‘’are you serious’’ look as you stood there embarrassed a bit.
,,Is that even possible ?’’ he asked as he raised his brow at you, eying you out while you played with your fingers nervously.
,, Obviously, it is’’ you said, crossing your arms on your chest. What kind of question is that even? People come here and lie about their test being eaten by their pets, yet your honest and sad excuse was suspicious to him.
,, When is the next date ?’’ you added, hoping he’ll give you enough time to write it again.
,,Tomorrow’’ he said, not even looking at you.
,, WHAT ?’’ a scream escaped your lips, loud enough for everyone in the class to hear and look at you. Is this dude insane ? Even tho Aizawa didn’t like you, he would still give you maybe a week to finish it.
,,Take it or leave it’’ he said, with a small smile formed on his lips, like he didn’t just tell you to do something impossible. Rolling your eyes shamelessly, you turned around and made your way toward your seat, where Momo and Mina waited excitedly to ask you what happened and so on.
The moment your last class finished, you had to cancel all of your plans, making your way home immediately after it. That day, you couldn’t even afford yourself to make a lunch or dinner, since every second and minute counted. The only food for you was coffee and cigarettes that day.
The good thing was, that you remembered lots of things you already wrote, but sadly, the paper wasn’t really small, forcing you to write and write without taking even a small break.
You hoped that you’ll finish it till 11PM, since your first class started early in the morning, at 7 AM. Sadly your big hope sank like Titanic when you checked what time it was when you almost finished your paper.
It was fucking 3:37 AM.
That disgusting motherfucker, you thoguht to yourself, as you imagined how great it would feel if you had the possibility to break his fucking tattooed neck.
The moment you heard the alarm, you wished you were dead. If someone placed a gun on your forehead at that moment, you would probably beg him to shoot you. Taking more time then usual, you found yourself being late again. This time you didn’t give a single shit about it. You didn’t give a shit about looking like half dead bird, with your hair tied up in way too messy bun and dark circles under your eyes.
Stomping into the classroom, you didn’t bother to look or greet anyone, forcing yourself to sit in the first row, since more students remembered that they actually go to Uni and suddenly decided that today is the best day to show up. Mina and Momo didn’t sit close to each other or to you either, since the class was unusually much fuller.
Grabbing your phone out of your pocked, once it started to vibrate, you saw that Mina and Momo were writing shit in your little group chat.
,, Are we having this piece of shit all day?’’
you texted, ignoring the topic they were writing about.
,, Yeah, we’ll have one and half hour break in between, and then him again. I don’t mind it tho. Dude’s handsome as fuck’’
Mina replied, making you roll your eyes.
,, Handsome as fuck my ass. Bro looks like random junkie from the main train station’’
you tapped furiously sending the message, scrolling down your Instagram feed, not even bothering to look at him, when he called your name out when he checked the absence list.
,,No phone in my class’’ he said loud enough, when he noticed it. Ignoring his statement, you just continued to use your phone. It’s not his problem if you are using your phone, it’s not his fucking problem if you decide not to follow his class and fail it at the end. Sure, if you were interrupting the class, then it would make some sense. But since you didn’t interrupt him or anyone, it shouldn’t bother him at all.
In one moment, you had your phone in your hands, the next one it was snatched from your hands. Looking up, you saw him standing in front of the desk you sat in, with your phone in his hands, scanning the room if anyone else was using it too. Both Mina and Momo hid their phones fast, when they realized what just happened.
He stood there quietly as he did something on your phone. The only thing you could see was his thumb scrolling something on your phone up. Whatever it was, he had no fucking right to do it and it made your blood boil.
,, There is something called privacy, you sick fuck’’ you hissed loudly. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the fact that you had less then one day to finish your paper, but you couldn’t stop yourself from insulting him. The moment you spat those words, you felt his eyes on yours. You noticed a small smirk formed on his lips as he turned your phone off.
,, You just got yourself in detention Miss.’’ He said, as he placed his phone on his desk ignoring your complains.
At that point you weren’t sure if he got all the dislike on you from Aizawa, or if you had that kind of personality that made people easily dislike you. Sure, maybe you overacted and embarrassed yourself in front of the whole class, but in your defense, he didn’t have the right to do it. None of the students were children. All of you had the right to decide on your own if you will pay attention to the class or not.
When the first class was done, Mina and Momo came to you immediately, eyes wide in shock as they talked about what just happened. The two of them waited for you beside the door, as you took your finished paper and made your way toward his desk.
He pushed your phone from the end of the desk toward your direction, as he told your friends that there’s no need to wait for you. Confused, they left immediately, not wanting to pull themselves into troubler or give you more of it.
,, Sit down’’ he said, as you stood there confused as well, gripping tightly onto your paper. Being a bit lost, you didn’t follow him immediately, standing there totally lost.
,, Sit the fuck down’’ he repeated, this time a little louder. You sat there, eyes wide open in shock. Sure, he started off as someone that looked like all of your classes would be fun with him, but with todays actions, and the small amount of time he gave you, definitely changed the view of him to the rest of the students. To you even more, since his sudden behavior wasn’t really pleasing.
,, Paper’’ he simply said, as he tapped with his hand on his desk. You gave it to him immediately, not sure if you are allowed to leave or not, also unsure if you can take your phone or not anymore.
,,Good, now go clean the desks or whatever’’ he said as he took your paper, scanning it a little bit.
,, You gotta be kidding me’’ you laughed. This dude has some serious issues, you thought to yourself. ,, We ain’t in fucking high school’’ you hissed. You were about to grab your phone, but his hand stopped you, as he grabbed your wrist with his left hand.
Without saying another word, he just shook his head towards the direction where the small bucket was. Usually prepared for the Cleaning lady that does her job once the class is over.
You wanted to make even more drama, and curse him out instead of apologizing for interrupting his class, but at that moment you didn’t have the balls for it. First of all, because you were pretty sure he was in contact with Prof. Aizawa all the time, and second, it was already clear enough that he dislikes you more then Aizawa does.
You took a deep breath, as you prepared the water. Hoping he will let you go soon, since everyone else is already on the break and if you were being honest, you were getting pretty hungry.
The whole time, he just ignored you as he was correcting your paper. He already corrected the paper the rest of the class turned in, so he wanted you to have your note too. Aizawa told him about you, never paying attention to the class and appearing just to avoid the shit you could get for missing the classes. He heard enough about all of you, and he wanted to make sure none of you will misunderstand him just because of his young age. Starting of with you, and giving one good example to everyone else. Sure, it wasn’t very nice of him to give you less then one day to finish your paper, but only you were the one without it, and he didn’t want to wait too long for it and make you lose the little focus you had on the rest of the class. He was pretty sure you would mostly focus on the paper you had to write, ignoring the other stuff he prepared.
You took your time cleaning the desks, humming some song that was in your head last few days. When you finished your task, you made your way toward his desk. Sitting down to the desk in front of his own, you wanted to ask him if you may leave or take your phone, but somehow it felt too weird to do it.
,, Spit it out’’ he said, his eyes focused on the paper you gave him. Of course he noticed the little uncomfortable glances you gave him, and the way you played with your fingers. Something about it gave him the feeling of power, in some weird twisted way.
,, Can I go ?’’ you asked fast.
,,No’’ he replied as fast as you asked, like he was prepared for you to ask him that, making you whine loudly. You were pretty sure if it was Prof. Aizawa instead of him, you wouldn’t even dare to react that way.
,, Text your friends to bring you something to eat. You ain’t having the break today’’ he said, still correcting the paper. With a huge sigh you took your phone and turned it on. Messages popping up one after other. Mina and Momo cursing him out, sharing their location with you and simply being worried a bit. You told them about the break thing and asked them to bring you some snack, as you complained how he’s actually torturing you.
His coughing took your attention, making you place your phone on the table as you watched him stretch his arms out, as he placed your paper in front of you. Your eyes widened when you saw a huge D and 52% written on your paper. Some students would just be happy they passed, but not you. The worst grade you ever got in last two years was C, and yet you almost failed this fucking paper, only few percent’s saving your ass.
,, The beginning was alright. You missed lots of points. In the middle, some stuff you wrote didn’t make sense at all.’’ He sighed as he rubbed his right eye a bit before he continued telling you what you fucked up.
,, The end was terrible, from all the facts you wrote, to your grammar. It was painful to read ’’ He added, as he played with the pen in his hands.
,, Not sure what you expected from me when you gave me less then 24 hours to finish this shit.’’ You spat, anger taking over you again. At this point you found yourself missing Aizawa, and first time you felt unsure if you will be able to pass this class.
,,Is this detention done now? Can I leave now ?’’ you asked, wanting this shit finally to be over, ignoring his words from before that you won’t have a break today. At your surprise he just laughed you out, pissing you off even more if it was possible at all.
,, This ain’t your detention sweetie’’ he laughed, as he took his phone out of his pocket. Telling you how you will have to stay every day after classes for 1 to 2 hours to help him prepare his stuff for next classes. For the next four weeks.
You weren’t sure if he was joking around or not. You knew that some students had to do it, for example, Mina had to do it for a whole week, since she pissed off your Professor Shigaraki, always being late to his classes last year.
The next day, you ignored what he told you, as you made your way toward the exit when the class was done, only to be stopped as he called your last name out. That was enough for you to understand that he wasn’t joking around, and that the next four weeks you will have to give up 1 to 2 hours of your precious time.
At the beginning all you had to do was print the papers he prepared for the classes, and grab some stuff he needed while he was writing something down, or correcting some shit. You found yourself regretting the decision to go to that fucking uni. Usually professors don’t give a damn if a student pays attention to the class, if he passes or fail. They are here to teach, not discipline and if you feel like failing, that’s your issue. Well, not in this case. You felt like they enjoyed torturing y’all just for their own satisfaction.
Later on he would command you in the middle of the class to grab something out the office, since you already spent few hours in it, knowing where his stuff is. You also got yourself a new nickname in class, which was ‘’Todoroki’s pet’’.
,, Chill out, you only have 3 more weeks’’ Mina said as she took a bite of her sandwich, saying how she knows how you feel.
,, Bitch, no one called you Shigaraki’s pet. This is embarrassing’’ you whined, taking a sip of your coffee. The two of you decided to ditch the rest of the classes, since it was his one anyway. She wasn’t in the mood to listen to anyone’s shit today, since she had one sleepless night, and you weren’t in mood to stay 2 extra hours.
Both of you spent some time in the café, gossiping about some people form your class and making plans for tonight. Since it was Friday, both of you wanted to enjoy your time a bit, instead of spending the night home being lazy as fuck. Mina told you that Keigo invited the three of you to his little house party that he made every now and then. Every time his parents would go somewhere because of work, he would throw a party that made him so famous among other students.
He knew you, Mina and Momo from the high school and he always got along with all three of you. Sometimes even tagging along with the three of you to grab a coffee, nagging about his affairs and so on.
Mina didn’t go home, since you invited her to come over to your place. Both of you getting a good ass nap before you got ready for the party. She wore some of your fancy clothes and you wore a simple white shirt, and your pastel purple strap dress over it, that hugged your curves perfectly. The two of you did your make up before you wore your black Martens boots and made your way to the party.
Momo was already waiting at the party for you, drinking her beer with Keigo. She placed her drink on the counter when she saw the two of you get in. There were already some people you knew, but you knew that in the matter of time the house will be full as fuck.
,, You two sick fucks, why did you leave me all alone today’’ she laughed out as she took one sip of her beer.
,, No one’s in the mood to talk about that fucktard and his annoying ass classes here.’’ You said loudly, as you made a drink for yourself, mixing Malibu with some cherry juice as Keigo asked the three of you what happened.
,, Professor fucking Todoroki is torturing the shit out of me.’’ You said as you placed a cigarette between your lips. ,, I never thought I’ll say this, but I really miss Aizawa’’ you said in one breath making your friends laugh at your sudden confession.
,, Ah, I heard about your new nickname tho’’ Keigo said with a huge grin on his face, making you roll your eyes. ,, What is it again?’’ he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
You were about to tell him to shut the fuck up and drop this topic already, but a arm placed around your shoulders threw you out of the tact.
,, They call her My pet’’ a familiar voice said, making you almost choke on your drink. Momo’s eyes were looking at you in shock, and Mina tried to make herself unnoticed, since she skipped his classes with you today.
,, Bro, I heard that you are giving her some hard time. What did you do to my girl?’’ Keigo laughed loudly, as he greeted his ‘’friend’’. You sat there frozen, totally forgetting that you have a cigarette in your hand, that was now half way done. You weren’t sure how much he heard.
,, Nothing she didn’t deserve.’’ Your prof. answered, laughing together with Keigo. You forget that he was around your age, and that it shouldn’t be such a big deal to see him at party’s like this. After all, everyone enjoyed his company. You, Mina and Momo exchanged one look that told more then any word could. All of you grabbing your drink, before leaving the two of them in the kitchen.
,,What the fuck is he doing here ?’’ you spat out, not giving a shit if he will hear you or not.
,, I have no idea. This was so embarrassing’’ Mina said, laughing loudly as she drowned her drink down, grabbing another one immediately.
,, Why ?’’ Momo asked confused, making you ask yourself how much she drank already.
,,Girl, the fuck are you even asking ?’’ Mina asked her, still giggling around. ,, Usually people get smarter in Uni, what happened with you? ‘’ she added wrapping her arm around Momo’s shoulders.
,, Downgrade’’ you said, making your friends laugh, as Momo hit your arm lightly.
Keigo was playing the music, his phone connected to the large loudspeakers. At the beginning you hated his taste of music, but later on you simply got used to it and at some point you started liking the songs he would play.
The three of you were fooling around, chitchatting with some people you knew from Uni. Once you heard that Anxiety from Blackbear started playing, you made your way toward the kitchen where Keigo was. The moment he saw you he started making some silly dance moves, as you immediately started to hop around and copy his moves. The first time he showed you this song, you literally hated it so much, only later on to learn every word as it became the song of you two.
He started singing as you prepared another drink for yourself, waving your left arm in the air like Keigo did, following the beat of the song. At that point, you didn’t give a fuck about the presence of your Prof, since it looked like he didn’t really want to bother you either.
,, Having fun?’’ Keigo asked, as he placed his glass in front of your lips, forcing you to drink every drop of his drink.
,, Disgusting’’ you hissed, making a face. He laughed at your silly face and reaction as he pat your head. Taking a sip of your sweet drink, trying to cover up the Whisky he just gave you.
,, Touya, your detention ain’t shit. She still doesn’t have any manners’’ Keigo joked, as he shook his head a little.
,, I’m working on it’’ He answered, a small smirk appearing on his lips.
,, Oh shut the fuck up, both of you’’ you blurted, trying not to give them much reaction, since you were pretty sure they were just provoking you at this point. The two of them only laughed at your reaction, finding it cute.
Hopping of the long chair, you pulled your dress down, and made your way to find your friends. The house was full at this point. Greeting every third person, you tried to find either Mina or Momo, only to give up at the end.
Not wanting to go back in the kitchen, you made your way upstairs where the guest room was. Keigo and Todoroki noticed you going upstairs as Keigo tired to call your name out, only to end up being ignored since you didn’t hear shit.
You hopped onto the bed, your feet still on the floor, since you were too lazy to take off your boots. You placed the small ashtray on the bed, and lit your cigarette as you watched the people in the small hallway dance around and have fun.
Taking your phone out of the small pocket of your dress, you sent a message to the group chat, asking your friends where they are and telling them that you are in the guest room. Dropping your phone to the side, you enjoyed your cigarette, and the muffed sounds of the music. Looking at the ceiling, you waited for your friends to reply or come finally, since you wanted to drink and have some more fun.
The moment you heard the door close, your body twitched up.
,, What do you want now ? ‘’ you hissed when you saw Todoroki making his way to sit next to you. Instead of answering you, he just sat beside you, taking the small box of cigarettes and lighting one with your lighter.
You did the same thing, trying to cover the fact that you indeed felt a little bit uncomfortable. You laid down again, ignoring his presence as you puffed on your cigarette. You could feel his stare on you, as you tried to pull your dress down a little, scared it showed more then is should.
He laid down next to you, placing the ashtray to the side. In that moment you wished you were drunk, since the whole situation was freaking you out a little.
,, Chill out doll, we ain’t at Uni.’’ He said, placing his hands under his head, answering your question only now.
He looked a bit different then usual. Wearing simple black shirt with jeans, and Nike airforce. It looked good, but it kinda felt weird since the only outfit you saw him in was the formal one, in the uni.
You tried to move to the side a little, since he was a bit too close. Placing the ashtray on the nightstand, you took it as excuse to move a bit form him. Sure, he was handsome as fuck, sure you wouldn’t mind him that close, laying down beside you, if he wasn’t your fucking professor for the next six fucking months.
He noticed you wiggling to the side. How could he not notice that, as your dress got a bit up without you even realizing it, giving him view of more skin. He’s not stupid, he knew he made you uncomfortable, but he liked it. He liked the way when some of your friends called you by your new nickname. He loved the fact that he marked you his, without trying at all.
The moment you stood up, realizing that your dress is showing more then you intended to, grabbing the edges of it and pulling it down while whispering small apologies, his dick twitched inside of his pants. He placed one more cigarette between his lips, as he grabbed your wrist, forcing you to sit on his lap and not giving a single fuck if you could feel his erection.
,, What’s wrong doll?’’ he asked once you gasped in surprise. He loved how you didn’t dare to complain or even say anything. But was there even something to say? Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t find yourself to form a normal sentence anymore.
,, You heard what Keigo said. ‘’ he whispered, as he inhaled the smoke of his cigarette. ,, That my detention ain’t shit’’ he added, his finger on your jaw now, making you look at him.
,,What should I do’’ he wondered out loud, turned on only by the confused look on your face. You weren’t sure if he already noticed, but all he did at that moment turned you on. His grip around your jaw got stronger, forcing you to open your mouth lightly, as his lips got closer to yours only to exhale the smoke in your mouth.
,, You know, I have to punish my pet for being absent today’’ he said, his face only inches away from your own. ,, Sure, I thought you were sick at first. But look at you, healthy as fuck’’ he said, his other hand squeezing your ass tightly as he pulled you closer to his body. The position you were in was embarrassing for you, and you were pretty sure if someone walked in, you would be labeled as Todoroki’s pet forever.
He placed you onto the bed, slowly standing up to turn off his cigarette. You weren’t even sure what was happening anymore. You just sat there on the bed, as he locked the door before he made his way back to you. Standing in front of you, looking down on you, he couldn’t hide the smirk that appeared on his face.
Pushing you back lightly, your upper body fell onto the mattress giving him a perfect view of you, before he hovered over your body. He wanted to fuck your brains out, he wanted to hear you scream his name all over again as he fucked you into the mattress, but he had to risk it all with a question. Since you were giving him mixed signals, he had to be sure you wanted this as much as he did.
,, You sure about this ?’’ he breathed out, hoping you won’t turn into a fucking brat again and storm out of the room, or make any other unnecessary scene.
,,Yes’’ you managed to nod your head. Sure, the risk for you was huge, but what could even happen anymore ? You were already labeled as his pet, because of the stupid detention.
,, Good. Fucking. Girl’’ he said pointing every word out, as he placed soft kisses all over your neck, leaving sloppy purple marks shamelessly. Your breathing got a bit heavier hearing these three words coming out of his mouth.
He didn’t have time for foreplay, first of all, because he wanted to be inside of you, second, because the risk of people noticing was too big. Sure, he was around your age, but at the end he would probably lose his job.
,, Someone’s calling you’’ he said, still abusing your neck. Ignoring the phone and his words, you just enjoyed the feeling of his lips on your neck, wanting more.
,,Pick it up doll’’ commending, he pulled your panties to the side, as he touched your clit, groaning loudly when he felt how wet you already are. The thought of fucking you while you were talking to your friends got in his mind, and he couldn’t ignore it at all.
,, Yes?’’ you asked, sounding whiny more then you should, while he played with your pussy.
,, Bitch, the door is locked’’ you heard Mina on the other line, eyes wide in shock. You tried to pull yourself up, but his hand stopped you as he pushed you back into the mattress.
,, I’m.. I’m not.. ahh shit ‘’ You almost moaned when the sudden feeling of pleasure and pain took over you, as he entered you without a warning. Throwing your head back, you tried to talk, you tried to think of something, anything, to tell to your friend.
Touya closed his eyes, enjoying how your walls felt around his dick. Your pussy felt like it was made just for him. And it felt even better once he heard you fight the moan, while you tried to talk to your friend.
,, Keep being good for me’’ he groaned quietly, as his hips started to move at rapidly speed.
,,Are you with someone?’’ Mina screamed, as you closed your eyes, feeling every inch of his dick moving in and out of your core. All you wanted to do was throw the fucking phone away, and enjoy what he was giving you.
,, Y-yeah, friend’’ you said, trying to hold the moans, as he fucked you hard. Mina hang up after she told you that they will wait for you in the kitchen with Keigo. The moment the call ended, you threw your phone on the bed, placing your hands on his shoulders, finding some comfort in it. You were sure that people could hear the bed slamming onto the walls, maybe even your moans that he muffed with his hand.
,, You feel so good, doll’’ he groaned, every move he made was getting stronger and faster, turning you into a whiny mess under him. You placed your lips on his neck, sucking and biting on it as you tried to keep your moans low. You felt a bit proud of the marks you left on his neck. If you were marked his, then that was the last thing you could do to mark him too. Even if it was a bit.
,, Touya, please’’ you cried when he slowed down. Snuggling your face into his neck, you took a deep breath trying to calm yourself down from the pleasure he was giving you. The slow moves were too painful for you, they made you feel every inch of his dick moving inside.
He moaned loudly when he heard his name slip out of your mouth. He wanted to hear more of it, he wanted to hear you beg for him while you say his name all over again.
,, You look so good when you want it’’ he said, tugging your hair back into the mattress, giving himself more access of your neck that was already marked by him, but of course that wasn’t enough.
,, Be my good girl and beg for it’’ he said, not moving at all. He wanted to destroy you, but at that moment he simply had to hear you beg for him.
,,Please Touya, I’ll be good. Please’’ you begged again, and that was more then enough for him.
,, That’s my good girl’’ he whispered, kissing your lips as he started to move his hips again. He was pounding into you like there was no tomorrow, enjoying the way you were whimpering under him as you wrapped your legs around him, trying to get him closer to you.
,,So close’’ you mumbled somehow, squeezing your eyes shut when you felt his fingers rub against your clit. Only few rubs were enough for you to catch your high, biting onto his shoulder as you came all over his dick.
,, Such a good girl’’ Touya said as his speed increased, shortly after it, he comes deep inside you, groaning into your neck, as your fingers found their way to his hair. You closed your eyes, feeling his seemen filling your pussy up. He continued to fuck you as he was riding out his orgasm, slowly fucking his cum back into your core.
The two of you took some time to catch your breaths. His dick still buried deep inside you. The moment he pulled it out, you whined loudly at the feeling of emptiness. Placing one more kiss on your lips, Touya pulled your panties down, cleaning the cum that was leaking out of you with them.
,, You gotta be kidding me’’ you gasped when you realized what he did, only getting a smirk as a response.
Once he was sure that you were clean now, he pushed your panties deep inside of his pocket, giving himself a little present that would remind him of you, before he commanded you to unlock your phone, so he could save his number in it. Immediately calling his own number.
,, Don’t ever think of skipping my class again for the next six months” he hissed, as he grabbed your jaw, forcing you into kiss. All you could do was nod in agreement, promising that you’ll attend his classes.
He gave you one more kiss, before he left. Telling you to wait a bit, before you follow him, to make it less suspicious. Laying down on bad, all fucked out, you smoked one cigarette as you sent a message to Mina and Momo, telling them that you’ll be there in few minutes, and asking them to make you a drink.
Once the cigarette was done, you found yourself going downstairs, noticing that Touya was already with Keigo, talking about something. The moment you stepped into the kitchen, Mina and Momo started laughing loudly.
,,Oh, I see what’s going on’’ Mina gasped figuring out what just happened. She wasn’t dumb. Maybe others didn’t realized, but your overly marked neck, and the few hickeys around his neck made your friends understand what happened. Not like Keigo didn’t already know, he was the first one to support his friend, making him follow you into the guest room.
The next days, you found yourself waiting excitedly for your detention. Enjoying the time you were spending with him. Enjoying the risky sex the two of you had in the class room, in his office or in the toilet of the University.
Touya didn’t test your limits anymore, he knew that you were ready to do anything for him, he knew that he had you under his spell. But as much as he had you, you had him. He found himself spoiling the shit out of you, driving you home, coming to your apartment almost every evening and buying you little presents you never asked for.
You loved how he couldn’t keep his hands off you, not even in front of the class, ready to risk it all for you. Ordering you to work on some of his papers, while everyone else was chit-chatting or simply playing on their phones when the lesion was done. He wanted to let them all go, so he could fuck you there on the desk, but since it was too early, he just told them to do whatsoever, as you sat beside him, focused on your work.
The small gasp that came out of your mouth, once you felt his hand on your tight, squeezing it tightly, turned him on even more. You don’t wear skirt when you are having classes everyday, he had to grab that chance he had served in front of him.
,, Not here’’ you whispered, trying to look like nothing’s happening at all.
,,Yes here’’ he answered quietly, as he acted it out like he was explaining something to you, slipping one finger into your core.
The way he pumped his finger in and out of you, acting like he ain’t doing shit was driving you crazy. Also the fact that anyone that payed a little bit more attention to you, could probably realize what was going on, didn’t help either. The adrenaline was rushing in your blood, as you squeezed your tights together, trying to tell him that he’s hitting the right spot.
That day he finger fucked you in front of everyone, making sure no one noticed. Even tho no one gave two shits about the two of you, every person in their own worlds, you felt like all eyes were on you. You felt like everyone knew what was going on, as your head hang low, hair covering your face enough for you to squeeze your eyes shut as you came all over his fingers.
Once you found yourself breathing normally, you took your phone, opening the message that Mina sent you.
,, Girl, you can’t be serious’’
The two of you made eye contact, laughing loudly. Well, someone in fact noticed, thankfully no one dangerous.
475 notes · View notes
tennessoui · 3 years
Note
If you're up up to it, how about obikin and 42?
yes!!! Prompt 42 is Star-Crossed Lovers, but star-crossed lovers are soooooo out now. 'Crossed the stars to be lovers' is IN, baby!!
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Someone has left a letter on his bunk. Obi-Wan as a rule doesn’t get letters. Actually, as a rule, Obi-Wan has never wanted to receive a letter in his entire life. They all have datapads for a reason, and it’s because they’ve evolved past the need for flimsi and ink when there are means at their disposal to deliver messages near instantly.
So no, Obi-Wan has never wanted to see a letter sitting on his bunk. He finds the whole thing rather trying, actually, the Flimsi Friends program the Jedi Order established fifty standard years ago in an attempt to connect their Jedi with others across the branches through letters. Obi-Wan had scorned the idea as an Initiate living comfortably in the Temple on Coruscant, and his opinion hadn’t really changed once he began his tenure at the AgriCorps.
Kabre notices before anyone else. “Oh, hey! Obi-Wan’s got a letter.”
“Finally,” Aldran grins, craning his neck from where he’s collapsed on his bunk. “We only signed you up months ago.”
“Really, you shouldn’t have,” Obi-Wan says. “Really.”
“Oh, come now, little Obi,” Kabre pats him on the head. Obi-Wan is twenty-five and of a perfectly average height, but Kabre is close to three heads taller than him and of an indeterminable age. “Think of it as an opportunity to strengthen your connection to the living Force.”
“Through the Flimsi Friends program,” Obi-Wan deadpans, raising an eyebrow up at his peer.
“Getting letters from Susa is the highlight of my week,” Aldran tells the ceiling dreamily.
Obi-Wan shares a commiserating eyeroll with Kabre. “That’s because you’re in love with her.”
“Who wouldn’t be? She’s so sweet and kind and pretty and she has all these stories from her adventures in the ExploraCorps--”
“Alright, who got him talking about Susa?” Lathrum asks from the door, sighing in exasperation as he makes his way over to his own bunk. “It’ll be a standard day before he’s done.”
“Hey!” Aldran gasps, offended and already close to sulking. “Whatever. Fine. Everyone’s just jealous that Susa and I are in love because y’all are never going to find something nearly as good as we have.”
“Obi-Wan finally got a letter from the program,” Kabre announces to Lathrum. “We were just saying that he should at least try to be excited.”
“Yes, perhaps you’ll meet your own Susa,” Lathrum smirks, peeling off his dirt-covered tunic. His next words come out muffled. “Force help us if that happens.”
“No need to worry,” Obi-Wan says dryly, picking up the letter and studying it. “They appear to be a youngling.”
“A youngling wrote you?” Kabre asks, barely restrained glee in his deep baritone.
Aldran guffaws from his bunk. “Well now you have to write back!”
“Knowing your luck, it’s probably a youngling from the Jedi Temple,” Lathrum says. “Dear Obi-Wan, Today someone chose me to be their Padawan and I’m one step closer to being a Jedi Knight. How are your plants doing?”
“Yes, alright,” Obi-Wan shakes his head, smiling slightly. He had met Lathrum when he was fourteen and still bitterly disappointed about his new position at the AgriCorps, and Lathrum has never let him forget it even after all these years.
He sits down on his mattress and pulls out the letter. It’s short at least. The handwriting is atrocious but the spelling is worse.
Dear Obi-Wan,
Hi! My name is Anakin Skywalker. I am nine years old. How are you doing today? My master says I have to write this to practice my spelling. I think not everyone can learn Basic, but he says I have to and that all Jedi masters know how. I didn’t ever know there was all this stuff I have to do to be a Jedi. I’ve been here for weeks now and I still don’t have my lightsaber!
I think the temple is really weird. It’s so big and cold. I miss my friends back home. Me and Kitster would go crazy exploring this place but no one here wants to play with me. Master Jinn says not to worry and I’m not! The temple is just really big and I’m cold all the time and I miss my mom. Master Jinn found me on Tatooine and took me here to make me a Jedi which is great, but everyone here already knows each other and I don’t think they like me much. I know the Jedi Council doesn’t. They didn’t even want to train me but Master Jinn inzi--incis--said he would.
Do you want to be friends?
Would you explore the temple with me?
Write back soon please,
Anakin
“Well?” Kabre asks, when Obi-Wan finishes silently reading the letter.
Obi-Wan sighs and rubs a hand over the jagged penmanship. It’s all too obvious that this Anakin Skywalker is...painfully young, churlish and childish and achingly lonely.
Obi-Wan sighs again, harder, as he looks up at his bunkmates. “Where do we keep the blasted flimsi?”
---
Dear Anakin,
Thank you for your letter, it was very nice to read. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I’m 25 years old. I hope you are settling in at the Temple better by the time this letter finds you. I have to admit I was very surprised to hear that you are nine years old and have been allowed to train to be a Jedi. That’s unheard of. I’m sure you’ll be an excellent Jedi. There must have been a reason your master chose you. The Force wills it and it will be.
It is understandable to miss your mother and your old home. When I became a member of the AgriCorps, I spent the first few months missing the Jedi temple on Coruscant a lot. It was the only home I ever had. But we make others as we go. The Temple is big and I suppose very cold compared to a desert planet--I looked up Tatooine here and there wasn’t much information, but I could never live somewhere with two suns! I’d be burned to a crisp in a matter of hours.
The upside to the Temple being big is that there are a lot of hiding spots and footholds for climbing. Try the pillars in the entrance hall. They connect to each other. My friends and I would run around on top of them for hours, although I think that was mostly because we were too scared to get down. You should ask Knight Eerin about it, or Knight Vos. They’re usually in the Mess Hall if not the Halls of Healing.
I’m sure Master Jinn has you busy with meditation and classes, but I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best,
Obi-Wan Kenobi
---
Dear Obi-Wan,
I was really excited to get your letter! I didn’t know it would take so long but it’s been ages! So much stuff has happened. I finally finished my remedial classes and Master says we can focus more time of katas now! I can’t wait to learn how to fight! And Master Windu smiled at me the other day when he saw me in the hall because Master told him about my grades!
I asked Knight Eerin about you and she showed me some pictures she had on her datapad of you when you lived at the Temple. You look really pretty cool! I have blond hair and blue eyes if you were wondering. My mom always said she thought I was going to be really tall. What do you look like now? What do you do at the AgriCorps? Why did you leave the Temple? Knight Eerin says you need to give her a comm call soon. She didn’t sound very happy.
I made a friend! Knight Vos’ padawan was there when I talked to him about what you told me, and she came with me to go exploring! She’s so cool. She’s been helping me with my katas too.
Apparently I won’t get my lightsaber for years! That’s so long!
Anyway I have to go and do my reading now but please write back faster this time, Obi-Wan!
--Ani
----
Obi-Wan never reacts quite as happily and dramatically as Aldrin does when he sees a letter from Anakin on his bunk in the evenings, but over the years everyone learns not to disturb Obi-Wan on those nights.
The first letter Obi-Wan receives from Anakin after the boy turns eighteen includes his commlink frequency hastily crammed at the bottom of the page. If you want, Anakin has scribbled.
“Finally,” Obi-Wan jokes when the line connects and Anakin answers breathlessly. “No offense to you, dear one, and you have come quite a ways since you were a youngling, but your handwriting is still atrocious. I’d much rather talk to you like this than try to puzzle out what you’ve written.”
Anakin splutters and then stutters out in a voice slower and deeper than Obi-Wan had expected, “I didn’t know you had an accent, Obi-Wan.”
Obi-Wan finds that he likes that voice saying his name in that way.
That’s the first sign of trouble.
----
Anakin sends a photo of his knighting ceremony. Obi-Wan wants to cry with pride. His friends tease him about it relentlessly. “You look like I did the day I married Susa,” Aldrin crows and takes a picture of Obi-Wan’s blushing, laughing face. Later, Obi-Wan reluctantly sends it to Anakin.
“I’m jealous of your friends,” Anakin confesses with an exhale of static. “They get to see you everyday.”
“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, unable to say more. Unable to admit that he’s thought the same thing about Anakin’s master at the Temple. Unable to deny it though.
They move onto safer topics, ones that make Obi-Wan’s chest feel less tight.
----
“Jedi Knights are forbidden to have romantic attachments,” Kabre tells him apropos of nothing one late evening when they’re leaning against the railings of their cabin.
Obi-Wan doesn’t even try to pretend to not know what his friend is talking about. Anakin is twenty-three now. They call each other as often as possible, whenever they have enough free time. Thinking about Anakin, somewhere out in the galaxy, makes Obi-Wan feel dangerous things. Dangerous, insidious, illogical things.
“Yes,” he agrees.
“Everything you’ve ever told me about this boy makes me think he’s in love with you,” Kabre says. “And the way you tell it makes me think you’re in love with him too.”
“Kabre, I…”
“I’m not asking you to deny it to me, Obi-Wan. You don’t need to defend yourself. You know no one cares if you’ve gone and fallen in love with your flimsi friend. It happens. And Force knows there’s no way you could be more insufferable than Aldrin and Susa.”
“He’s a Jedi Knight, Kabre,” Obi-Wan looks away, off over the fields. “I know what that means.”
----
When Anakin is twenty-four, Obi-Wan walks into his room to see a letter on his pillow. He blinks in surprise. He hasn’t gotten a letter since they petered out in favor of comm calls with Anakin.
But he’d recognize that handwriting anywhere.
He sits down to read it.
Dear Obi-Wan,
I find myself growing weary of Knighthood. I love my Padawan, I love the missions, I love the fighting. But I love something else more. I have for almost as long as I can remember.
I’ve been looking through the old letters from you. I’ve kept them all. I know Jedi should not have material attachments, but I found that I could no more throw them away than give my lightsaber to a Sith. They make up our story.
You were the first friend I ever had at the Temple. I don’t quite think you realized that then, and you may not even realize it now. But you were. I would get a letter from you and feel warm for weeks afterwards.
Actually, everything I love about the Temple and the Jedi you gave to me. My friends now, indirectly. All the hiding spots. Moving meditation.
When I got my kyber crystal, I wanted to tell you before anyone else. When my Padawan braid was cut, I gave it to my master, but wished I had something I could give to you too.
That was the day I really admitted to myself that you already have all of me.
Obi-Wan, I’m in love with you. I love you more every time we talk. Disengaging the comms at the end of the night hurts like losing my hand all over again. I love you, I love you.
And I have been a coward about it for too many years. I was afraid that you would reject me, think me too rash and young and foolish. But I know what I want. You told me in one of your letters that you believed I lived off of a single-minded desire to achieve my goals and that I would let nothing stand in the way.
I do not plan on starting now, if you will have me that is. I dream of nothing more than to feel your hands on my face, to listen to the sound of your heart beating in your chest.
I will not disrespect the ways of the Jedi by loving you quietly, when I know you are my deepest, strongest attachment. One that I will not shake, even if I lived to be as old as Master Yoda himself.
If you find that you feel the same way, I will leave the Jedi Order tomorrow and meet you on Bandomeer. If you do not, then I understand and will never speak of this again. I am something of an expert after all these years of loving you silently from afar.
Yours sincerely, yours always, yours completely,
Anakin
Obi-Wan traces the words with a shaking hand. He doesn’t know he’s crying until a tear falls onto the flimsi. Oh, Anakin. Oh, his brave, foolish Anakin.
Will he really be so selfish as to allow Anakin to leave his Knighthood for him? His padawan, his home?
But the knowledge that Anakin loves him is a heady, addictive feeling. Obi-Wan has never truly gotten the things he wants. He loves his life now, of course. But he hadn’t wanted it.
And he loves Anakin.
He loves him terribly.
He reaches for a piece of flimsi and a pen.
----
Anakin will be the first to admit he’s been in a foul mood for a few standard weeks now. He’d sent that letter to Obi-Wan--Force, why had he sent that letter to Obi-Wan, obviously the man will never want to talk to him again now--and then immediately Ahsoka and him had been called in for a mission.
It had been awful and disgusting. Anakin is covered in mud from head to toe, and his padawan doesn’t look any better. And worst of all, he had had no time at all to comm Obi-Wan. No time at all to see how the man had taken his confession. It feels like he’s been holding his breath for days.
But he’s at the Temple now. He can clean himself off and call Obi-Wan incessantly until the man answers. Anakin can’t keep living like this.
“Letter for you, Master,” Ahsoka says as he enters their quarters. She’d been sent ahead while Anakin had finished docking the ship, and now she’s sitting at the table perfectly clean.
Anakin thinks his heart stops at these words and then it starts beating as fast as it ever has before. “Where?”
“I put it on your bed,” Ahsoka peers up at him with a furrowed brow. “Are you okay, Skyguy? You look a bit--”
But Anakin’s gone, already tearing into his room. There on the bedspread is a letter. Obi-Wan’s written him a letter.
Anakin has to try opening it three times before he finally gets his fingers to cooperate. It’s very short.
Dearest One, Obi-Wan has written.
I’ll meet you here tomorrow on Bandomeer. I will be waiting.
Forever yours,
Obi-Wan
Anakin smiles and feels like he could cry or sing or dance or scream from all the joy that’s welled up in his chest at this small handful of words Obi-Wan has given him. They’re everything and more.
Mindful of the mud on his person, he puts the letter gently on his bed and walks back out to the common area. Ahsoka is right where he left her.
“Okay, now you just look scary,” she says, pointing a fork at him. “Stop smiling like that.”
Anakin lets his grin die. He won’t relish this next part, but it’s for Obi-Wan. It’s so he can be with Obi-Wan. It's necessary. “Snips,” he says, sitting down opposite her. “We need to talk.”
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red-jaebyrd · 3 years
Text
She Made Everything Better
Summary: Dick has his first cold since moving into the Manor with Bruce. All he wants is the one person he can’t have – his mom. Bruce does his best to fill the void as well as helping an ill and still grieving boy find safety and security in his new guardian.
For @ckbookish
There are many things that Bruce wasn’t prepared for when he took in 8 year old Dick Grayson. Little things like enforcing bedtimes and daily baths; to big things like no swimming in the pool alone and making sure Dick stayed off the front foyer chandelier…or any chandelier in the Manor. The other was taking care of a sick child.
Dick had only been living in the Manor for six months and had yet to come down with any kind of illness. Considering all the stories Bruce had been told by well-meaning co-workers of their kids coming home frequently with colds; he considered himself fortunate that Dick had remained cold-free.
Until one morning when he could hear faint coughing coming from the bedroom down the hall.
“Bruce,” Dick cried, dragging out his name followed by a series of more wet coughs.
Oh no, Bruce thought to himself. Those coughs didn’t sound good at all. He followed the cry and coughs to Dick’s room and saw the boy laying down on his bed bundled in blankets and surrounded by discarded tissues. His cheeks were flushed, his nose was red, and eyes were glassy.
“Hey buddy, what’s wrong?” Bruce asked, sitting on the edge of Dick’s bed.
“My head hurts, my nose won’t stop running, and I’m coughing,” Dick answered, pulling his blankets up to his chin.
Bruce quickly went through a mental checklist of what the boy might need while dealing with a cold. By the looks of the boy’s flushed cheeks, he likely had a fever. What was that saying, ‘feed a cold, starve a fever’; that didn’t sound right to Bruce.
Dick coughed and then groaned, snapping Bruce out of his thoughts.
“Why don’t you drink some water. It’s important to stay hydrated,” Bruce suggested, walking over to Dick’s nightstand and handing him his water bottle.
“No,” Dick whined with a pout pushing the water bottle away. “Water tastes gross, and it hurts when I swallow.”
“Understood,” Bruce said, a bit bewildered by Dick’s whining. Set the water bottle back onto the nightstand. He sat on the bed in front of Dick reaching to feel Dick’s forehead with the front of his wrist. Dick shivered at the contact. “You feel warmer than usual. I’ll be right back with a thermometer.”
“No,” Dick moaned, reaching his hand out for Bruce from under his blankets. “Don’t leave me.”
“I know you’re feeling bad, Chum, but I need to get a thermometer to see if you have a fever,” Bruce soothed, sweeping Dick’s sweaty bangs from his forehead. He smiled, taking Dick’s hand in his and squeezed it gently. “I’m not leaving I’m just going to your bathroom to get the thermometer.
Bruce walked toward the en-suite bathroom in search of the thermometer but came up empty. He searched all the cabinets, and they didn’t even have any children’s medicine, just polysporin, hospital grade antiseptic and, tons of band-aids. Bruce could have sworn they had children’s Motrin, but sadly there was none.
“Hang on, I’ll be right back,” Bruce said, closing the bathroom door and making his way toward the bedroom door.
“No, don’t leave,” Dick pleaded, reaching out frantically to Bruce this time with both hands. His eyes welled up with unshed tears. Bruce shoulders slumped and he sat down one the bed again, taking Dick’s cold hand in his and rubbing soft circles with his thumb.
Bruce furrowed his brow in concern at Dick’s behavior. It was extremely unusual for Dick to be this clingy and demanding when it came to Bruce. The two did spend more time together now that Bruce had changed his schedule a few months ago. Dick did like to seek attention from his guardian in the most heart stopping ways imaginable. Bruce quickly recalled the first and last time Dick backflipped off the second landing stairs nearly giving Bruce and Alfred a heart attack.
As Bruce had gotten to know Dick, he had learned that the boy liked being with people; liked spending time with Bruce and once Dick had got his fill of ‘peopling’, he’d be off outside or in his room playing alone. The boy liked attention, but he was far from clingy.
“Dick, I’m not leaving. I’m just heading to the intercom near the door to speak to Alfred,” Bruce explained, using his free hand to gently card his fingers through Dick’s hair and resting his hand on the boy’s cheek. “I’m not leaving.”
“Okay,” Dick sniffed, letting go of Bruce’s hand to rub his face with his blanket.
Bruce wrinkled his nose and handed Dick a fresh tissue from the discarded box on his bed. He then headed to the intercom near Dick’s bedroom door and pressed the button hoping Alfred was still in the kitchen.
“Alfred, I need a thermometer. Can you bring one to Dick’s bedroom, please.”
“Right away, Sir,” Alfred answered promptly.
Bruce turned and gave Dick a small smile, but the gesture wasn’t returned. He expected as much considering how poorly the boy felt. It warmed Bruce’s heart to know that Dick found security and safety in his presence. A little hand reached out to him from under the blankets. It made Bruce chuckle, so he made his way back to the bed and sat down taking Dick’s hand. Dick slouched low against his pillows blinking tiredly at Bruce.
“I wasn’t going to leave you. I told you I wasn’t,” Bruce reassured, trying to tuck Dick’s duvet around him with one hand and failing. Dick let go so Bruce could finish with both hands. “Do you want anything to eat?”
Just as Dick was going to answer Alfred arrived with a thermometer and a fresh box of tissues. He handed the thermometer to Bruce and set the tissue box on Dick’s nightstand. He then proceeded to collect the dirty tissues and deposit them in the trash bin.
“Will that be all, Sirs?” Alfred asked, moving the bin closer to the bed so it stayed within Dick’s reach near the nightstand.
Bruce stayed sitting on the bed and gave Alfred a rundown of all the supplies that they would need while Dick blew his nose. As usual Alfred had a pen and notepad on hand and wrote down everything.
“Anything else? Master Dick, would you like something to eat before I go?” Alfred asked, tucking the notepad and pen into his front jacket pocket.
Dick didn’t answer Alfred right away. The boy looked lost in his own thoughts, but mostly he looked tired. Poor guy, Bruce thought to himself, he must be feeling so out of it.
“Dick,” Bruce whispered, gently squeezing Dick’s hand to get his attention. Once the boy’s glassy eyes met his, Bruce took that as a sign to continue, “Are you hungry?
“Oh um –“ Dick stammered, and started playing with the hem of the duvet. “Would – would it be okay to have toast with cinnamon on top, please?”
“Certainly, young sir. I’ll get to it straight away.” Alfred replied and left the room closing the door behind him.
Bruce proceeded to take Dick’s temperature and just as he suspected after the thermometer beeped; he frowned looking at the number on the screen. Dick had a fever. Bruce was trying to remember if he should call a doctor right away or if he was supposed to wait two or three days if nothing improved. He’d likely call Leslie today just to be sure.
“Is it bad?” Dick asked, bringing the blanket up to his eyes.
“Well, it’s not good, 102.2, buddy. We’ll keep an eye on it. Make sure it goes down with meds. If not, I’ll have to call Dr Thompkins,” Bruce clarified, turning the thermometer off and setting it on the nightstand. “So cinnamon toast?”
“Mom would always give it to me whenever I got sick,” Dick swallowed thickly, looking down at his blankets. “She – she said the cinnamon had healing properties that would help make me feel better.”
“I’m sure it did,” Bruce said, brushing Dick’s bangs away from his face. “Moms are good like that aren’t they?”
Bruce tried to give Dick a smile, but it felt stiff on his face as he fought against the lump forming in his throat at the memory of his mom making him chicken noodle soup whenever he got a cold. He remembered loving the noodles and the broth but like all kids his age, Bruce hated the chicken and veggies. Over the years the soup was something that Alfred had tried to replicate, but to no avail. It just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t his mom’s soup.
“My mom would –,” Bruce sniffed and then cleared his throat, but before he could finish his sentence; Dick’s face crumpled, and he started sobbing.
In the short time that Dick had been staying at the Manor, he had only cried a handful of times. Even after a nightmare, tears spilled down silently. Dick was always quick to wipe the tears away before Bruce could fully envelop him in a hug. Always pulling away from the embrace claiming he was fine as the tears continued to fall down his cheeks. Bruce had never pressed as he never felt he had the right words to say. Because ‘I know how you feel’ and ‘I’ve been there too’ didn’t really seem like great words of comfort.
But maybe they were the exact words that Dick needed to hear.
“Oh Dickie, come here,” Bruce offered, his arms outstretched and his own eyes filling with unshed tears. He gathered Dick in his arms and settled him on his lap. The boy practically melted into his embrace.
“I don’t feel good, Bruce,” Dick bawled, his breaths hitching from crying so hard. “I want – I want my mom.
The last sentence was said in a whisper in between sobs. Dick’s fingers tightened as he clung onto Bruce in a desperate hug.
“I m-miss her,” Dick mumbled, trying to catch his breath and failing. “I miss how – how she made everything better.”
Bruce’s heart sank; his own tears finally falling down his cheeks. She made everything better. It echoed in brain and he couldn’t deny that the boy was right. Of course, Dick missed his mom; it made sense that he missed her. Every child who felt ill wanted their mom to be the one holding them, taking care of them, and making their favorite comfort foods; not some stranger they’ve barely known for six months.
He hugged Dick a little tighter and sighed. They had come a long way these past six months, dealing with Dick’s anger and trust issues that had only been fueled by Bruce’s incompetence and neglect in the guise of protection. While necessary changes to his schedule were made to fit Dick into his busy life and it had changed the dynamic in how they interacted with each other; the change still didn’t do much to help Dick feel safe enough to talk to Bruce about the loss of his parents. Until now, so naturally Bruce took advantage of a missed opportunity.
“I know you do. I know you miss her so much and I’m so sorry,” Bruce empathized, resting his cheek on the Dick’s head and rubbing small circles on his back. “I know – I know how you feel, chum. I really do. I’ve been where you are and it – well it sucks.”
Dick nodded in silent agreement and continued to cry.
“I know it feels like – it feels like the pain is so much bigger than you, but one day it won’t feel so big and overwhelming,” Bruce comforted, wiping away his own tears with his free hand. “And – and while the hurt won’t go away completely. It will get better in time. For you, that I promise.”
Bruce continued to hold Dick as his body calmed from his crying jag. The boy’s breaths slowly regulating from shuddering gasps to hiccups. Bruce was happy to finally be able to provide such comfort to Dick after so many months of him pushing him away. His feelings were never hurt from the boy’s rejection, Bruce understood firsthand that type of vulnerability and transparency in grief can be scary, especially in an unknown environment.
He had hoped that their conversation today would help pave the way to more talks and further healing for Dick. Bruce was confident the boy would be alright, but these difficult conversations had to be something that Bruce initiated and participated in as well.
“Any time you want to talk ab out your mom or your dad; come find me, okay?” Bruce offered, giving Dick a reassuring smile. He wiped away Dick’s remaining tears with his thumb. “Even if it’s in the middle of night. Understand?”
Dick nodded, his breaths finally evening out.
They sat on the bed in companionable silence. Bruce hummed a tune he remembered his mom singing whenever she was knitting or just needed to fill the silence. He could slowly start to feel Dick’s body going boneless against his chest with exhaustion; his breaths gradually getting deeper with sleep.
Just as Bruce was about to close his eyes a knock on the door startled him and woke up Dick.
“Here is your toast, Master Dick,” Alfred announced, setting a tray on the other side of the bed. “I also added a few digestives and the last juice box until I can get the apple juice you requested.”
“Thank you, Alfred,” Dick sniffed, still clinging onto Bruce.
Bruce brought the tray closer to Dick so the boy wouldn’t have to move from his place of comfort.
“You are very welcome, young sir. If there is nothing else you require of me, I shall leave to retrieve the necessary items.”
An hour later, once Alfred returned with the medicine, Bruce was pleased to finally be able to give the boy some much needed relief from the headache and congestion. Dick still wouldn’t let Bruce leave, so Bruce suggested they move to the media room to watch a movie.
Bruce covered them with a blanket thin enough to make Dick comfortable, but not too thick to spike his fever. Dick settled himself right up against Bruce’s side, draping a thin arm around him and using Bruce’s chest as a pillow. Dick fell asleep ten minutes into the movie. Bruce stayed watching the rest of the movie, carding his fingers gently though Dick’s hair relishing the closeness and comfort he was finally able to provide his hurting foster son.
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