#got this stuck in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out
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Injury (Lucy Bronze x reader)
Warnings: none
Description: reader is recovering from an injury and is staying with Lucy in Lyon after having surgery. Fluffy domestic cuteness. I wrote this years ago when Lucy was still at Lyon, was originally posted on wattpad but I’ve decided to transfer everything over to here and start writing again, so sent requests :)
I haven’t rechecked/proof read so any mistakes or terrible writing can be blamed fully on younger me.
Word count: 967
"Are you coming to watch the game tonight?", Lucy asked me as she moved around the kitchen making breakfast for the two of us, as I was currently incapable. I had been injured in a game a while ago and had recently had surgery on my left ankle, leaving me feeling sorry for myself, and my girlfriend stuck doing everything for me.
"Of course", I confirmed from where I was sat on the couch, looking back over my shoulder at her, "wouldn't miss it", I smiled.
"How are you gonna get there?", she inquired.
"Uh, walk?".
"You're gonna walk all the way?", She raises her eyebrow at me.
"How else would I get there, I can't drive", I shrugged.
"You can't walk to the toilet without me helping you", she folded her arms over her chest, "you can come with me, I'll get you a seat pitch side so I can hear you cheering me on", she came over to where I was sat, leaning on the back of the couch and stroking the top of my head, causing me to tilt it back to look up at her.
"How'd you know I'll be cheering you on, you're playing PSG, which is my team, might I remind you", I smiled up at her.
"Because if you don't, I won't make you food anymore", she smirked, knowing I don't currently have the agility to stand and make food at the same time, not that I can cook normally anyway.
"Noooo, you know I won't survive without the proper nutrition", I begged, bringing my hands up to grab her face, while doing my best lost puppy impression up at her.
"With your cooking, I'm surprised you survive without me as it is", she laughed, my puppy face clearly having no effect.
"Exactly", I used it to make my point stronger. I tried the lost puppy face again. She leant down, placing a peck on my lips, before standing up to head back to the kitchen. Before she could I reached up to pull her back down, into another kiss, this one a little longer.
"As much as I hate not being able to walk, let alone play, I love being able to be here with you all the time", I said once we pulled away.
"Good, 'cause I love having you here", she kissed me again, then went to pull away but I made sure she couldn't by placing my right hand on the back of her neck. Eventually she was able to pull away, "you need to stop", she told me.
"Why?", I smirked up at her.
"I'm trying to cook", she said, quickly walking back to the kitchen so I couldn't grab her and stop her from leaving again.
"Well that's boring", I stated, turning around more to look over the back of the couch so I could see her better.
"So you're coming with me, yes?", She changed the subject back to our previous conversation.
"Yes", I confirmed, "I'll be your biggest loudest, most British fan", I said.
"Ah, so you are going to cheer for me?"
"Of course, as much as I love PSG, I love you more, I'll even wear your jersey"
"Wow, that's real commitment, be careful you might scare me off", she said, laughing a bit.
"If you weren't scared off after our second date I don't think anything could scare you off", I stated, remembering the shambles that was our second date.
We had just got back to Manchester after playing with the England national team, which is where we had met, and I had asked her out on a second date, we'd had our first while away in the US playing in the SheBelieves cup. I had planned to take her to the indoor ski centre near the Trafford centre, which I knew she'd enjoy, then out for a meal at one of the restaurants near by.
It was all going well until we were at the restaurant. Apparently I'm allergic to shell fish, and who knew calamari counted as shell fish? Long story short, she ended up having to take me to hospital, because I was finding it increasingly hard to breath. But she stuck around, even after she'd seen me with a swollen face and purple lips. Which meant that she must really like me.
After that we stuck to non seafood related restaurants. But it's pretty funny to look back on now I know I'm not dying. At the time I was convinced I wasn't going to make it. I've always been a lover of overreacting.
"Yeah well, I saved your life, you're probably only in love with me because of some hero complex or something", Lucy laughed, as she continued cooking.
"Well I might not be anymore", I said, sulking a little, "you won't make out with me".
"You want your food or not?", she asked, "and if you wait until after the game, you can help me celebrate me beating your team like they're that spider you killed earlier", she said seductively, though the reference to the spider I had smooshed into the carpet with my slider earlier in the day made it a little less appealing.
"I would, but I'll be too busy comforting you after you loose", I shrugged.
"Uh huh, we'll see about that", Lucy said as she made her way back over to where I was sat, leaning down and placing a kiss on my lips. Just as I was about to deepen it, thinking she'd finally given in, she pulled away, and placed a plate of food I hadn't seen her bring over into my lap, "eat up my love, you'll need as much energy as possible if you plan on walking to the stadium".
"Ha ha", I replied sarcastically.
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"You can't get rid of me, darling."
Yan!Giorno Giovanna x GN reader
Summary: After months of being stuck by his side, with a little regret in your heart, you finally try to escape the Don of Passione. Only to be met by an unexpected surprise.
word count: 2.2k
Tw.: yandere behavior, mentions of kidnapping, threatening, reader running for their life, bad writing xd
gagahahshs i hope you will like this, it's my first time writing something like this
I DO NOT AGREE WITH ANY YANDERE BEHAVIOR. i only wrote this for fun.
You looked at your so-said husband, his sleeping figure looking so peaceful and a small sigh leaves your lips. You almost felt bad for wanting to escape.
Your life there wasn't even that bad. Giorno never punished you too hard, always gave you the want you wanted, and showered you with love and affection, even if it wasn't what you wanted. He respected the times when you wanted to be alone and never touched you in any way other than cuddles or hugs. Always bought you expensive dresses and every single thing you wanted.
But still..the fact that he tore apart your freedom, that he stole you from your previous life, to keep you isolated like you were a prize, that he wanted only for himself. His obsession with you was unhealthy for both of you, to say the least. Even though you couldn't say you hated him that much anymore, Giorno still stole you and your happiness.
You planned this escape for a long time, more exactly, since you knew that this month will be the most tiring he had in a while. The hardest part of the plan was getting past the guards and out of the Don of Passione's mansion. But what made it easier was the fact that you knew when their shift changed, and that they had five minutes where the house wasn't that full of guards. The clock proudly showed 03:25, meaning that the shift will be changed in five minutes. Which gave you exactly four minutes to get out of there after the second shift will end. You placed a small kiss on his cheek, seeing him turn in his sleep, groaning. Okay, maybe you shouldn't have done that. "You can do this, Y/N" You encouraged yourself.
You looked at the window that was the closest to the backyard, where you planned to escape. There was a part of the gate that was easier to climb and wasn't that easy to be seen climbing. As soon as you saw the guards leaving inside for their break, you quietly started heading for the gate.
The first step was complete, you got out of the mansion without being seen, and you made it to the gate. Now, the second step was about to begin: Climbing the gate. Your whole childhood and in your teens you climbed on gates, either to steal fruits from trees or to skip school, so it wouldn't be that hard. With your hands shaking, you looked back one more time and started climbing, when you suddenly heard Giorno's voice calling your name from inside the house: "Cara, where did you go?". Your eyes widened and you started climbing faster, your right foot going over the gate. Your heart was racing as you kept hearing Giorno shout your name, trying to find you. If he caught you, you would be in big trouble. Your other foot came to the outside area of the gate, when, suddenly, you heard the same voice from before getting closer. Without wasting any time, you jumped into the grass beneath you and started running for your life.
"Boss, they ar e past the mansion's gates! You three, go after them!" You heard a deep voice calling Giorno, meaning they caught your sight. You sprinted even faster, entering the woods nearby.
You ran and ran until the only thing you could hear were your legs stepping on fine branches and your heavy pants. Poor you, your legs were trembling, but you didn't stop. No, if you stopped, it would be a death sentence. You knew your captor was already after you, so you pushed yourself to run until in the city. You left any jewelry back at the mansion, knowing he had trackers in them, and you were dressed in your old clothes, those in which you were kidnapped.
The city wasn't that far, only three or four kilometers away from the forest. The only thing lighting your path was the moon, which, thankfully, was shining as bright as ever.
After running for what felt like an eternity, the people driving the few cars passing on the road by the forest giving you weird looks, you finally made it to the city. It still wasn't safe since you knew Giorno had men literally everywhere. Even though, you stopped since you felt like fainting. Fortunately, the train station was only a few minutes walking away, so you fell onto your knees, trying to catch your breath. Your whole body was aching, and you felt like dying right there, but you had to get to the train station. You had money enough for a one-way ticket to whatever city was farther from here. Where he couldn't get to you. Where you would finally be safe.
"Hey, you! Miss, are you alright? I've been calling you for two minutes" You heard a deep voice calling from your side. You froze, recognizing the voice. Narancia. Shit. Fuck. What do I do? You thought. Narancia was his right hand, like the rest of the Bucciarati gang. If he saw you, he will definitely take you back to your "home".
"Yeah, I'm fine! A little tired, don't worry. You can leave!" You tried changing your voice so he couldn't recognize it. You weren't afraid that much of him, was really nice to you, but you knew how powerful he is.
"Y/N? Is that you?" He says, trying to get a look at your face, which was hidden in your palms.
"Huh? Who are you talking about? I don't know who you are talking about. My name isn't Y/N." You reply, hoping he would believe you.
"You can't fool me, young one! What is it that you are doing here, at almost 4:30 in the morning! You should be home, I'm sure Giorno is wor- Speaking of the devil..." He says, taking his phone out when he heard it ringing. He had not one, but three missed calls from his friend.
"No! Don't tell him I'm here!" You suddenly shout, getting up. You might have to run again. You recovered a little, but you don't know how much you can keep running. Narancia cocked a brow at you and answered his phone.
"Hello, Narancia here! [..] What's up with that voice, GioGio? [..] They ran away...and I have to search for them? Huh?! But they-" He wanted to say but you covered his mouth, staring at him.
"What is it, why did you stop talking?" You heard Giorno's voice on the other line.
"Nothing..." Narancia answered in a suspicious tone. "I wanted to say that they seemed so happy with you like they would finally accept you. Weird. Anyways, I'm going to start looking for them and bring them to you. [..] Yes, of course, unharmed! [..] Bye-bye!"
You sighed, relieved he didn't say a thing. Judging by the look on his face, he wanted an explanation. "Look, Giorno isn't that bad. He's actually really nice and I like him but... I can't live like that! I'm fucking caged with no contact except of your gang and the kitchen lady that doesn't even talk to me. Please, don't tell him you saw me, let me go..." You pleaded, tears threatening to spill out of the corners of your eyes.
"I would love to do that 'cause I understand how you feel but...I can't hurt my friend like that. If you disappeared forever and he would find out I let you go, GioGio would be devastated. He would never forgive me." Narancia sighs. "Plus, what's your plan? Leave by the train to another city, one where you think he wouldn't find you and live your life there? You have nothing, Y/N. And, even if he didn't catch you until you got there, we have people everywhere. Every. fucking. where. Giorno will find you and he will bring you back. With all it takes."
You look at him for a few seconds, speechless. This is how obsessed he was with you? Your heart dropped, knowing Narancia was serious. For a second, you thought of giving up, but...What if you could make it and Narancia was just saying bullshit exactly to bring you down?
Before he could say another thing you started running towards the train station, forcing your legs to run faster than before. You had to get there and leave as soon as possible.
"Oh my fucking God, this person...Well, I tried. I have to announce Giorno and try to convince them before he gets here. Or else...Good luck, Y/N." The man says, pulling out his phone again while starting to run after you.
After what, again, felt like an eternity, you were starting to see your destination. You knew Narancia was behind you, but you didn't care. You have your chance and you are so close. So, so close. You dashed through the station's doors, running to the ticket office. "Please, what's the train that leaves the fastest?" You ask, panting, looking at the door. You and the ticket lady talked for a little, and right when you were about to purchase the ticket, Narancia flew to the doors, exactly like you did three minutes ago.
"Y/N, please come with me. I'm begging you, let me bring you back to him and end this." He said, also panting, looking at you worried.
"No! I told you, I'm not coming back to him! Leave!" You shouted, taking the closest thing you had to protect yourself, that being a pencil.
"You have no fucking idea how mad he is. If you come with me, he may calm down, but if Giorno comes here and catches you, you can consider yourself dead. And he isn't that far from here." Narancia shouted back at you. "So please, just fucking come! I promise to tell him you behaved and that you just pulled a prank on me by running away."
This kept going on for several minutes, you and him shouting at each other, but you knew he was right. If the Don of Passione got his hands on you, you were dead. So, deciding that enough time was wasted, you snatch the ticket and tried running to the place you had to take the train.
"Y/N, please co-" You heard Narancia say, but he suddenly stopped when a round of slow, sarcastic applause was heard. You felt the air in the room getting thicker and you felt your head spinning. Your worse fear about this shitty plan just happened: Giorno entered the train station nonchalantly, clapping his hands.
"What a beautiful show you put on for me, cara." He spoke and you froze in your spot. The tone he was using made you shiver, eyes full of tears. You thought he would be raging, screaming at you and running to you, brutally grabbing your hair and killing you for defying him like this. But instead...his voice was calm. Not the kind of calm you were used to, but rather the calm that hid behind it a coldness only his biggest enemies saw. And you were about to see the most unpleasant side of Giorno Giovanna.
"Turn to me, amore. Right now." It wasn't a request, not even in the slightest. It was an order. Even if your mind was screaming at you to run as fast as you could, your body was refusing to listen to your commands, as if you were controlled by him, so you slowly turned to face him. The face that met you was even colder than the blonde's voice. "Come to me. Let's go home, where we can think and discuss what you did." You wanted to scream, to tell him to fuck off and leave you alone. But you couldn't. For some reason, the fact that he was so calm scared you more than if he was yelling. You subconsciously took a few steps back. "Look at me and listen closely, picolla (babe). One more step. Take one more step and you'll fucking regret it."
By the small change in his tone, you knew he will most likely make you regret it so you gave in. It was pointless to try and run again, he will most likely catch you before you can even get onto the train.
"Hey, young men! What's happening here? Leave this lady alone or I'm ca-" The ticket lady finally spoke up, but was fastly shut up by Giorno speaking again.
"Silenzio! Come here for fuck's sake, I'm starting to lose my patience." The blonde said harshly, and every inch of you started shaking. You slowly walked towards him and Narancia, when he spoke again. "Più velocemente! (Faster!)" He ordered and you sped up, almost running.
"You are dismissed, Narancia. I'm going to take care of them." Giorno said while never taking his eyes off of you. By the satisfied smirk on his face, you were in big trouble, but it could be worse. As you three started to walk towards the exit, Narancia whispered in your ear — "Good luck, Y/N. You will need it." — and parted away from you and your captor. Giorno pushed you in the car that was waiting for you ourside and he entered besides you, telling the driver to take you two back to the mansion.
"I hope you didn't think your oh-so-brilliant plan was going to work, did you?" He asks on a mocking tone and is met with a chilling silence. You were too afraid to speak up to him. What if he got even more mad? Your whole body shivered when he leaned closer to your ear and whispered:
"You can't get rid of me, darling."
#jojo x reader#giorno x reader#jjba giorno#giorno giovanna#yandere#yandere giorno#jjba fanfic#jjba x reader#jjba x you#gender neutral names#x reader#jjba headcanons#jjba pt 5#don giorno#narancia fanart#narancia jojo
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Hii, even though this apps had been on my phone for months I have no idea how to use it, but here have a South Park one shot I wrote.
It’s Creek bc they are adorable and btw I don’t fluently speak English so I‘m sorry for any mistakes
Clyde isn’t always wrong
" I'm sorry, Craig. I don't feel the same."
Blue eyes filled with guilt and other undetectable emotions were glued to the snowy ground. Tweek bit his tongue, stopping himself from apologizing over and over again. He shouldn't be apologizing in the first place, yet the little voice in his head was messing with him. He knew exactly what this was about, so there was no point in feeling bad. Without sparing his classmate another glance, the blonde left him in the cold.
Craig hasn't even noticed that he was alone now. His heart was still racing from the adrenaline rushing through his veins. The loud beating reached to his ears, drowning out any sounds around him and it hurt. What hurt even more was the fact he had got rejected by the boy he had fancied for the past year.
How could he not like Tweek Tweak ? He was perfect and would remind the stoic boy every time he stepped into his view. Would he still smile at Craig whenever they passed each other in the hallways ? Would he still turn around in his seat to have a little chat once in a while ? Had he completely ruined his chances of getting closer to the coffee addict by confessing to him ?
" Yo, dude. How did it go ?" An arm wrapped itself around his shoulder and the face of his annoying best friend Clyde came in view. This had been his idea. How could he be so dumb and listen to Clyde ? " I got rejected", he stated bluntly, still in shock over this realization. " Wait ! What ?" The grin that graced the brunette's face turned into a frown. " You're messing with me. There is no way." Craig rolled his eyes.
" Better believe it. You were wrong. He doesn't like me." Jimmy and Tolkien, who were standing right behind them, exchanged a worried glance. " I'm sorry, Craig. Is there anything we can do to make you feel better ?", the latter asked, stepping closer. " It's fine. Just leave me alone for a bit", their friend mumbled, freeing himself from the tight grib of the idiot.
Craig wanted to kick himself in the ass for confessing right before school started. Now, he was stuck with Tweek for the whole day. It would be awkward. God, could he get more stupid ? Hesitantly, he dragged his drained body to the building, hoping this day would be over soon. You couldn't blame him for wishing nothing more than hiding under his space themed blanket and ignoring his problems by sleeping until he couldn't anymore.
Maybe he would even cry, but what use would that be ? Crying was pathetic and it wouldn't magically change Tweek's mind. Clyde had always told him, it lifted a heavy weight from his shoulders after bawling his eyes out, but there was no way he would ever take the crybaby's advice seriously.
The hallways were as noisy as every morning. How could kids be that active at this ungodly hour ? Craig didn't have the energy to flip the kids, playing football, off as he was walking to class. Spotting the familiar mess of blonde hair, his heart clenched and he averted his eyes from the hurtful sight that would always remind him of the pain in his chest. Of course, an angel like the blonde wouldn't like a rude motherfucker like Craig Tucker! How could he have possibly thought that it wasn't this way ?
Tiredly, he fell into his seat far in the back as soon as he reached his class. If he was lucky enough the teacher would leave him alone for the day and if Mister Garrison wouldn't he always had the option to show him his middle finger. Maybe he would be sent home, escaping this hell hole, however he would rather avoid his mother's wrath that would come at him for being disciplined again. Skipping wasn't a possibility either, therefore he had to suffer in silence the whole day.
Stretching out his arms over the small desk, he placed his head on the table, not able to keep it up. All his energy had left his body the moment his ears had picked up the pitying tone of Tweek's voice. " Crushes are stupid", he told himself while playing with the eraser that had seen more colors than his actual notebook. Did everyone have the habit of drawing on the white little thing ? Philosophizing about everything and nothing might keep his mind at bay.
Unknown to him, bright blue eyes were fixed on him as the owner was biting his lips in the same nervous demeanor excepted from him.
The loud noises of the annoying bell couldn't rip Craig out of his trance. Had his teacher tried to talk to him ? Was this the end of the first period ? Why did people tend to cling to the tiniest string of hope, even though it was pointless ? He had no answer to any of those questions.
" Yo dude, aren't you getting up ?" A hand shook his shoulder violently, trying to stop the boy from drowning in his thoughts. Blinking confused, the space enthusiast managed to sit back up in his chair, analyzing the faces of his three friends. " It's time for lunch, come on" Tolkien pulled the energetic brunette away from the shell that used to be his classmate. It was no secret how hard Craig had fallen for the paranoid kid, which was only further proven with this kind of reaction. None of them had expected him to be rejected. It was just so weird.
" Oh", was the only thing that left the ravenette's dry lips before he rose from his place and followed the others to the cafeteria. Why would he even come here ? His stomach refused any food and the seemingly tasty tacos on the tray, that's been pushed into his arms, wouldn't change that fact. " I'm not hungry." A sentence his group had ignored, informing him how important a healthy diet was and that he shouldn't skip meals.
In the end, his plate hadn't been touched and the tallest wasn't even listening to the on going conversation. That wasn't surprising. Tolkien couldn't bare seeing the usual unaffected guy so heart broken. Even though he would rarely agree with Clyde, he had been just as convinced as him that Tweek would reciprocate his feelings.
It was so obvious. Shy glances whenever Craig wasn't looking, bright smiles whenever they had a lively conversation, baked gifts that he claimed to be too much for him to eat. The blonde even was calmer around him ! What did they miss ? Were all of those things just their imagination ? There was no way.
In the corner of his eye, Tolkien spotted said blonde disappearing into the hallways and decided to follow him. Excusing himself from the table, he quickly jump to his feet and sprinted after the person that could give him clarity. Fortunately, he witnessed him entering the bathroom, which should be empty around this time. Without hesitation, the dark haired boy opened the door and called out, " Tweek !"
" Gah !", came in response. Only, after the name holder was able to recover from his mini heart, he backed away, eyes widened in fear. "
Ahh, what do you want ? Kill me ?" His blonde locks were the first victim of his anxiety outburst as he grabbed a handful and yanked it. He had been on edge the whole day.
" What ? No ! Why would I even-", the other yelled back defensive and surprised, yet quickly came back to his senses, " look, Tweek. I'm just here to talk to you." The words seemed to have an effect on his classmate, as he was loosening the grib on his hair and was more willing to listen. " You're not gonna kick my ass for rejecting Craig ?"
" No, I wouldn't do such a thing, but I want to know why you rejected him." Tolkien kept his distance, observing his every step. The way he was now biting his finger nails reminded him how uncomfortable the other boy was under his piercing gaze. " Gah ! Why are you looking at me like that ? This is too much pressure !"
The coffee addict didn't have a glue how to handle this situation. Why would Craigs friend stare at him like that ? Was he mad ? Would he actually kill him and was hiding his true intentions ? Why were they targeting him anyway ?
Considering the fact that Tolkien hadn't backed down, his best choice was to answer his question. " Because I don't like him." That was a good enough reason to not get together with someone, right ?
Something was definitely wrong here. Everyone was aware that the anxious teen struggled with holding eye contact, yet he would occasionally met his conversational partners' gaze. However now, his eyes were fixed on the dirty floor as if it was the most interesting thing on earth.
Then it finally hit him. " You're lying." There was no other explanation for his increased anxiety and fidgeting. The blonde always had trouble being untruthful as he was too worried about getting caught. Only one question remained, though. Why would he say he didn't like Craig if he clearly did ?
" Gahh ! I'm not lying ! I don't like him", Tweek yelled, facing his classmate for the first time since he entered the bathroom, " you can tell your friends, too ! I don't like him and I'm definitely not falling for your bullshit !"
" What do you mean ? What bullshit ?" The older male was beyond confused. Nothing the younger was spouting made any sense.
" Don't give me that crap ! I know exactly what you were trying and I'm not falling for it again !" He pointed a finger accusingly at Tolkien. " I know Craig doesn't actually like me ! He can stop pretending to be sad."
" Tweek, take a deep breath and listen to me." The rich boy cautiously stepped closer, avoiding startling the already freaked out kid. With a calm tone, he carried on, " I still haven't figured out what this is all about but Craig really does like you and he isn't pretending to be sad."
" How do I know you're telling the truth ?"
" Well, for instance, Craig sucks at acting. Do you remember that one musical in seventh grade ? That should speak for itself." He chuckled remembering the embarrassing performance of his friend, also attempting to cut the tension by joking. " He is also always looking at you and trying to get close to you, thinking he is sneaky, but it's actually super obvious."
" Oh", was the only thing that left the blonde's mouth, clearly trying to process this information. Suddenly, he gasped, breaking the silence. " Oh my god ! He really sucks at acting ! Does he actually like me ? Oh god, I'm so stupid. Why do I keep messing up ?"
" Woah, Tweek. Calm down." Gently, Tolkien placed his hands on the tense shoulders of the shaking male. " Can you tell me why you claimed to not like him when you actually do ?"
" I thought you were pulling a prank on me, but now I messed up badly and made Craig sad. He probably hates me now. What do I do ? This is too much pressure !" How could he be so cruel and accuse Craig of playing with his feelings ? Again, he had proven that he was nothing more than a paranoid freak.
" Just talk to him. I'm sure if you explain whatever had stopped you from accepting his confession he will understand." Tolkien smiled encouraging, hoping it would help to ease the other's nerves. The notification sound of his phone forced him to release his grib on Tweek and checked the noisy device. " Oh, Craig is leaving", he read the message of Clyde out loud.
" I need to fix this !", the anxious male stated, clearly not convinced of his abilities, yet he would do whatever it took to not have Craig hate him. " Thank you", he showed his gratitude to his classmate, running out of the door immediately, before his mind could tell him this was a bad idea.
Arriving outside, he quickly caught glimpse of a blue hat, whose owner was walking towards the bus stop. " Craig !", he called out, rushing over the fast he could. The ravenette spun around, not expecting to be adressed, far less from Tweek himself.
Regaining his composure, he crossed his arms and glared at the boy, that was bending over and panting heavily in front of him. " What do you want ?" He didn't mean to sound so pissed and make Tweek flinch, but he wasn't in the mood for talking. What could he possibly want now after breaking his heart ? Apologizing again ? No, thanks.
" I lied", his classmate blurted out between breaths, not providing any further explanation. " What's that supposed to mean ?"
" I lied about not liking you. I do like you", he admitted, feeling a bit relieved to have finally been able to confess as well. If he hadn't been so scared from the start he would have spilled his feelings. Another reason to hate his overthinking mind.
" What the actual fuck, Tweek ?!", Craig raised his voice in utter disbelief what he had just heard, " is this some sort of joke ? Dude, you literally rejected not five hours ago ! Why the fuck did you do that if you like me ?" On the one hand, he was furious. Did Tweek just wanted to make him suffer even more ? His classmate wouldn't intentionally hurt others, yet he couldn't be entirely sure at the moment. His words reminded him of the aching pain in his chest that he couldn't get rid of. Even though his admission might be fake, it made his heart jump. Nevertheless, he wouldn't let himself cling to the silver of hope solely to be rejected again.
On the other hand, he was confused. If his love wasn't unrequited, then why wouldn't the coffee addict accept his invite to a date in the first place ? His mind couldn't come up with any possible explanations, so he just kept on glaring angrily at the nervous boy, expecting him to deliver a really good reason for his behavior.
" I thought you were playing a prank on me and-" Tweek was immediately interrupted by the offended male. " Do you really think I would do such a thing ? Play with your feelings ? Do you really think I'm that kind of person ?" He couldn't even be mad anymore. He was just sad. His crush didn't saw him as more than a stoic asshole. That stung.
" No, no ! That's not it ! I'm always super nervous whenever you talk to me and then you suddenly confessed your feelings and I was like " no, Craig is way too cool to like you" and then I spotted your friends hiding behind a tree and then I panicked more and just blurted out that I don't like you", the anxious kid started rambling on. The words were leaving his mouth too fast to be understood, yet Craig magically comprehended the mess of a sentence. Only when a shaking hand reached out to yank at his hair, he dared to step closer and gently take the hand in his.
Ignoring his pounding heart and the warmth that washed over him, he interlocked their fingers, hoping to prevent the dreading panic attack. It worked better than he had expected. Even though Tweek was still trembling, he had relaxed his body the moment they had touched.
" You think I'm cool ?", Craig suddenly questioned, remembering what the other previously said.
" Of course, I do. You literally know everything about space and star constellations, you're so good at math and physics it's insane. You almost always keep your cool", Tweek listed merely a few things he admired about his crush, however he could go on for days. " I never thought anyone would consider this things cool", Craig responded bashfully, before regaining his composure and clearing his throat, " I still don't understand why you thought I would be pulling a prank on you and what it had to do with my friends watching."
Shifting uncomfortably under his gaze, Tweek bit his already abused lip. " Okay, I will tell you", he spoke quietly, eyes darting to the ground, " two years ago, I had a big crush on a regular costumer of our coffee shop. He would always strike a conversation and I thought he might have been flirting, as well. I was so obviously in love with him. It's embarrassing. One day, he was waiting outside for me and claimed that he wanted to tell me something. I failed to see his friends hiding behind a car"
Blue eyes were shut tightly as he inhaled to brace himself for the next part of his story. " He confessed and I was overjoyed, so of course I accepted. The moment, I said "yes", he started laughing with his friends joining in. He told me the confession was only a dare and that it was too easy to fool me. When you confessed this morning, I had flashbacks of this day", he finished his story, too ashamed to look at Craig.
" I know you aren't like that, but I'm always assuming the worst because I'm always so god damn anxious and annoying." The ravenette shook his head and squeezed his hand reassuringly. " You aren't annoying. Don't spit nonsense about yourself." His tone was soft and his eyes displayed the love he felt for the blonde. " and now I understand you better. If something like this had happened to me I would have been suspicious, as well. I'm really sorry that this asshole broke your trust. This dude deserves a beating."
" You don't hate me anymore ?", Tweek asked, still afraid that his crush might be still mad. " Tweek, I never hated you. I was just upset", Craig eased his mind with a small smile, " would you now like to go on a date with me ?" This time, the blonde didn't hesitate to answer, " Of course, I would like that. Tell me when and where." Both of them had a big grin planted on their faces as they we were gazing at each other.
" How about right now ? Let's go to the cinema", the taller boy proposed, giving the smaller one another heart attack as he started pulling him in his desired direction. " But what about class ? We're gonna get in so much trouble", Tweek interjected nervously, yet let himself be dragged by his ecstatic date. " Who cares. We're already too late anyway, so why not skip." The blonde was quickly convinced since he would rather spent time with him than listen to Mister Garrison talk. As long as Craig was by his side he would be fine.
Even though the day started out awful for him, everything seemed to have turned around for Craig. Maybe he should listen to Clyde more often ?
———————
Hii, if you enjoyed that you could always look at my other works on wattpad or ao3 ^^
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Fanfic Origin Story
tagged by @blackandwhiteandrose @stereopticons @jesuisici33 Thank you, friends 🥰
What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?
For reading: Gilmore Girls. I was so WTF over the ending to A Year in the Life, I needed something. Schitt's Creek was the first fandom I wrote for.
What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?
TBH I don't remember much of anything I wrote before AO3 and I'm not sure I want to??? So for this, I'll go with How will I know? This fic came about because I had this idea in my head that wouldn't leave me alone. It started out as looking at the lyrics of that song (how will i know?) from David's POV in regards to his relationships with Sebastien and Patrick. But then, as fics do, it took on a life of its own and became what was published.
What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?
You don't know it yet, but this is gonna be some of the best therapy you've ever experienced in your life. The things it's going to teach you - about yourself, about others - and the life experiences it's going to help you through, is going to blow your mind.
What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?
There are seriously soooo many moments that have made me go 'ahhhh! this is soooo cool!'. A few that stick out: 'I'm an admin for a small Discord server. I can send you an invite if that's something you're into.' / 'Let me know if you want to brainstorm. Maybe we can piece together some ideas to help both of us out?' / The first time someone took me up on my offer to come yell at me on Tumblr. It was for Warm Hellos and Our Last Goodnights and just made my day. But especially that time @patrckbrewer wrote a follow up to let the rain sing you a lullaby and made me cry.
Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).
I did more than 1-2 lines. Raise your hand if you're shocked.
Older Fic: He had spent the better part of three decades playing by the rules and sorting his life into neat little boxes. Only when he was willing to stop playing by his self-imposed rules did he discover everything in life that finally made sense to him. By dropping the pretenses of keeping up an image that no longer fit, he had gained everything.
Newer Fic: “I didn’t know how to put words to it – this feeling – to define what it is. I’m not sure I know any better now, either. The thing is,” Eddie continues, “when I’m with you, I’m safe. When we’re out with Chris, holding hands and just… being together, it’s ordinary in the best fucking way. The three of us being a family is easier than breathing. There’s nothing to think about, it makes sense. I don’t feel any different. I’m not any different. I’m still me and yet with my parents I’m… not me? Like I’m continually locking a piece of myself away for their benefit and holding my breath until they’re gone. Does that make sense?”
I'm behind on this, and I don't know who went, but I'm tagging @shortsighted-owl @alyxmastershipper @sarahlevys @vanillahigh00 @ajunerose @fatedbuck and anyone else who wants to play 💙
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bullshit
No bitch you totally wrong Naruto not stuck with awufl partner Naruto loves Hinata, my headcanon is that it was hard for Naruto to get anything done when he first became Hokage cause his clones kept going MIA to see Hinata before he switched to controlling them all in real time.
Bitch Kishi never thought about making Naruto and Sasuke together Sasuke didn't even exist until he was suggested by the editor to be Naruto's rival
Instead of blaming Kishi for not developing characters maybe write your own manga what do you say? Hell he couldn't make sasuke and naruto meet because he already created hinata before her character existed before sasuke so the whole narusasu thing makes no sense
simple and easy sasuke is a character suggested by the editor to be naruto's rival if they really had romance and feelings of love for each other kishi wouldn't have them fighting all the time
Who said that the end would be better with Narusasu's couple??? When Kishimoto created Naruto he didn't make him a character that loves boys the fact that Sasuke and Naruto appear in most episodes does not make Sasuke a main character because the main character at least for me is only Naruto and Hinata is his love interest
God help me because in Shifoden Sasuke didn't even appear at least until the arc of the Kage summit so how does he and Naruto have development?? The quest for Sasuke Naruto and Hinata got a moment where Naruto smiles at Hinata
Man, go write a manga before you even give such a stupid review
Really sweet having someone try and rip your heart out when all your trying to do is help them. Who caring feelings for him by dropping me from a few thousand feet and head first into solid bedrock.
Spending years chasing after them only for them to try and plunge a sword into my back and then the next time I see them they say they are going to kill me.
He would then try and carry out his death threat and we make vows under a great big waterfall by blowing an arm off each and even after everything we’ve been through he will still leave.
Yeah that is what real love, it’s not true in less you want to kill you partner for it. It's starting to get on my nerves all your nonsense Sasuke didn't even want Naruto as a friend because he was in the dark .By the way they both thought about killing each other is this called a healthy relationship?
First of all, Naruhina and Sasusaku are not the same, don't even dare to compare them! No surprise really plus any scenes from shippuden are most bad any way with Sasuke treating Sakura like trash in most of them or her fangirling over him.
and sasunaru not diffrent from sasusaku. It has nothing to do with what you wrote narusasu it just won't work when did naruto and sasuke have feelings for each other? Sasuke literally tried to murder Naruto, is that what you call a healthy relationship? Because if so then your head is screwed up
Are naruto and sasuke so compatible why did naruto cry he was always alone? And he doesn't understand love at all, the proofs are shown in the manga, you don't have to invent it
what? This has nothing to do with homophobia, the author of the series wanted to do something specific and it is completely his right, after all it is a manga for youth At the same time though gay ships tend to be ridiculous and over the top, like you can't have any friendship or brotherhood without people shipping and forcing it and throwing it in other people's faces. It's just ridiculous like even if they ship it they shouldn't act like it should have been when their friendship/sisterhood was never meant to be taken romantically. It really makes it hard to enjoy any same-sex friendships and camaraderie because people will keep pushing it to be canon and start a fuss over it.
All they wanted was to fight each other because Naruto considered Sasuke his best opponent
Both were in pain and loveless
With Hinata Naruto felt happier I don't understand what your problems are??He took care of her and was always there for her their relationship was always positive why do they always have to be toxic couples if naruto and sasuke were gay kishimoto wouldn't think of letting them beat each other up have you thought about that?
What selfishness is in your mind, there is no selfishness here. Naruhina is canon because that's how Kishimoto ran between Naruto and Sasuke. It wouldn't work. Did I say that you want to talk about selfishness? sasuke never thought about naruto's feelings after he left the village and naruto suffered so much that he broke down i think you don't even understand the characters pain
put naruto single??? And what does it matter anyway he was always alone ugh the people in this fandom are so cruel haven't you seen Naruto? He never wanted to be alone
Why doesn't Naruto deserve to be with someone who really supports and loves him? Like what's the wonder he's hiding only Hinata by his side.His moments with Hinata made Naruto feel less pain
#naruhina#pro naruhina#naruto uzumaki#hinata hyuga#pro hinata#naruto#naruto sippuden#anti sasusaku#anti narusasu#anti sasunaru#anti sns
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Cross-post from my ao3
The Litter, a DJD fanfiction
Tw: animal abuse, death, and birth, implied rape
So, you know how Kaon and Vos had a thing before Vos was revealed to be Agent 113? What if the pet was sparked, and Kaon just woke up to the Pet trying to whelp a litter.
Yeah, this isn't one of my finest ideas, but it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it.
Kaon knew something was wrong when he woke up to the Pet panting.
Not howling, not whining, not sniffling, but panting, his fans straining with effort.
Kaon also realized he was on the ground, not curled up with him. That never happened.
He turned on the light to see that the Pet was laying in a puddle of its own blood, its body straining, its middle - contracting?
Oh shit. The sparkeater is having a litter on his bedroom floor. He assumed that beastformers had their pipsqueaks normally, but he guessed that trapping the Pet in beast mode meant he had to do it organic style.
Wait. How is the Pet having a litter on his bedroom floor?
He thought back to before the Pet was the Pet. Oh, that's right. He'd had lots of fun with Vos up until and especially just before the Pet became the Pet.
Shit, these are partially his. No wonder his entire body was contracting. Even as Vos, he'd be too small.
Kaon put an experimental hand on the Pet's belly, feeling for … something? I think he had seen a medic do that on TV before. He could, at least, feel how far apart the contractions are. Wait, that's why they do that. To know how long it will be.
Curious, Kaon lifted one of the Pet's legs. His entire behind had swollen bigger, the plates being pulled aside in favor of making the valve opening as big as possible. Kaon could almost stick his pinky into the hole and did, feeling a pair of tiny noses through their birth sacs.
He tried the first option that came to mind and grabbed the Pet by the shoulders and let its butt swing back and forth, hoping that gravity would speed it along. The Pet wriggled in pain as another contraction shook its frame. They were getting closer together. Kaon put the Pet down and checked its valve again. No change, and closer contractions.
Shit. He should probably wake up Nickel.
He paused. Should he bring the Pet with him or bring Nickel to it? He stuck his pinky in the hole again and made his decision. He grabbed a blanket that he didn't like much and wrapped the Pet in it. Nickel wouldn't want him to drag her all the way here.
He walked as quickly as he could, trying not to make much noise. He decided to frame this entire thing in the idea of more t-cogs, not more mouths to feed, not that they wanted for anything.
He made it to the medbay, waking up Nickel with a push to her shoulder. She got up groggy but got a hold of herself quickly once she saw that Kaon was there.
"What do you need?"
"The Pet's gonna have a litter. Soon."
"How soon?"
"I don't know. Soon."
Nickel sighed and pulled up the bars of one of the medical berths. She turned on the exam light overhead.
"Put it down here and let me see."
Kaon laid the Pet down on the berth, securing it with a metal band around its distended middle, and he winced as Nickel pressed down on the Pet's belly a lot harder than he would have.
"Well, first thing is, there are most likely way too many puppies in there for the Pet to deliver on its own. If you hadn't brought it to me, it would have died with several still inside it. The second thing is, there isn't enough time before they start coming to do a scan. Hand me some forceps, and that short rounded thing that looks like a pair of tweezers with a handle."
Kaon handed her both tools and balked when she started to force the opening wider with her fingers, causing the Pet to squeal.
"Kaon, keep it from snapping at me." Nickel barked, timing the contractions under her breath. When it got to the point that the first puppy's head was visible without moving the tissue, Nickel stuck the forceps in and pulled it out. The Pet writhed, Kaon keeping its head pinned. Nickel cut open the birth sac and drop the pup by the Pet's stomach, where its plates had folded back to reveal a sagging udder of sorts, with a dozen teats. She marked it with a one.
She let it root around and went back and waited for the next one to be in reach of her forceps and pulled it out, this one having Kaon's electric coils folded against its back. She was more careful with this one, sticking it directly against the Pet and sticking a teat in its mouth. Nickel marked that one two.
The third and fourth almost came out together, Nickel forcing the fourth one behind its littermate. This time, the Pet pushed them both out with a wet plop.
The fifth one tried to come out sideways, Nickel having to push and prod the Pet's belly to get it facing the right direction. The Pet stopped trying to snap at Nickel, its eyes dimming with exhaustion. Kaon let its head to and moved the three new pups to its belly, marking their birth order with his own marker.
"Kaon, get a stimulant from that cabinet, a small dose of the one with a blue label, and inject it into its neck. If its eyes go out, it's not gonna wake up."
Kaon rushed to the cabinet and found the pre prepared syringe. He injected into its softer metal neck, and its eyes glowed brighter as it whined again.
Nickel pulled out another pup, checked its pulse, and threw it in the trash can.
"The one I just took out was dead already." She said, shrugging. She pressed hard on the Pet's belly again. "Two, maybe three more. Don't get your hopes up. They are probably all runts."
The Pet's entire body heaved and spasmed, and a huge, two-headed pup had to be partially pulled out of it by Nickel. She checked its pulse. "Surprisingly, this is the strongest one yet."
She stuck her whole hand up the Pet's valve, feeling around for anything else.
"I think that's the last of them, besides a shit ton of after birth that should be delivered in the next few minutes, but that will more than likely just fall out of it.
True to her word, the Pet kicked and whined, and about three cubes worth of congealed energon, along with another dead pup, left its abused valve.
Nickel used this opportunity to run some maintenance on the Pet after putting a makeshift diaper on it so any extra energon didn't get everywhere.
She also checked that each of the pups was suckling and got frustrated as the first one refused to latch. The two-headed pup seemed to be doing the best, drinking noisily and stepping on the rest of its littermates to get its fill.
"Eight pups born, with six survivors. More than I expected, but then again, it would have bled out with three. I wouldn't get too attached to the first and third one. They are the weaker of the two, and Tarn most likely won't let you keep all of them. Your best shot is trying to convince him to keep the two-headed one, the second one, and maybe the fourth and fifth could be sold or used as spare parts. You can't breed them, unfortunately."
"Unfortunately what?" Tarn said, walking into the medbay. "I checked your room, Kaon. It stunk of energon, so I knew you would be here. I'm guessing that the Pet finally squatted out its litter?"
"Yep. Eight puppies in total, six surviving, four good ones, two runts that are good for nothing but spare parts."
"Oh, but two of them are extremely interesting. Kaon, they are definitely yours. You really didn't realize that the Pet was going to whelp? Let me guess, you just thought it was getting fat?"
"Yes." He said, slightly ashamed of himself.
"Well, I'm certainly pleased. I think I would like a new hobby. Breeding mechanimals seems like fun, and the Pet is certainly fertile. I'm thinking that I should call Swindle to see if he had any more of its breed. The real ones, I mean. Don't want them to be too smart. Let the Pet have this litter in its entirety. We will need adults who know how to act around here. Nickel, clean it up." Tarn left, and Kaon couldn't believe his luck. He could have all the puppies and the Pet!
___
A few weeks later, Kaon woke up to the firstborn puppy kicked out of the makeshift nest in his room, stone gray and dead. It had never learned to suckle, despite Kaon's best efforts.
The third one wasn't doing much better. It hadn't grown a bit since it was born, while the others were growing fast, piling on the Pet and biting and snapping at its udder. The two-headed pup was almost completely weaned already, getting in the way of Kaon's attempts to feed the Pet to stick its heads in its cube. He had resorted to removing it from the nest and putting it in an old crate with a few blankets to keep warm while he fed the Pet.
The rest were still rather small, about a week away from being weaned.
That night, he took the two-headed pup with him to bed, the Pet whining with jealousy.
The pup was a much better snuggler than the Pet, its smooth plating thick yet deliciously warm. Kaon was keeping this one if Tarn let him.
____
By the end of the week, the third and fourth ones were dead, too, ripped apart by its littermates. The fifth was doing much better, growing bigger than even the two-headed pup. The one with Kaon's electric coils was also doing well, as the Pet seemed to favor it.
They were all weaned and were biting the Pet's belly, then drinking from it. Tarn wanted all of them, including the Pet, moved to the brig by nightfall.
Kaon put the two-headed pup in its box and opened up the nest, picking up the two remaining pups. The Pet followed him all the way to the brig, whining impatiently for Kaon to set them down. Kaon put each one in a separate cell, a blanket already shoved into the corner of each one. Kaon put the Pet in the cell between them, hoping that it wouldn't whine as much if it was between them.
____
The first test was a doozy. Tarn wanted to see how sharp their teeth really were, and after a few days of starvation, they were even nipping at Kaon's feet.
The victim in question had been left on the floor, a concession made for the pups' smaller size.
They did wonderfully, ripping the bot apart from the waist up, pulling and tugging out the organs on their way. Tarn had to use his voice part of the way because they were a little too good at it, and the mech almost bled out before Tarn wanted him to.
Tarn called Swindle, and by the end of the vorn, a section of the barely used brig had been converted into a kennel, four new turbofoxes included.
Kaon looked over everything with barely hidden pride. They were all his to train.
Every last one of them.
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why did saeyoung even have to join the agency like. if saeran could live with v n rika why couldnt saeyoung? i dont get it. also how was their mom even blackmailing saejoong, couldnt he just get all 3 of them killed? if she could hide herself so well then why couldn't v n rika also hide the twins like that. am i thinking ab this too hard
Unfortunately, it's not something that you're really supposed to think hard about it. You're supposed to just go along with everything even if you know there were better options for them to take at the time. You have to suspend your belief in reality and just go with the plot. We can guess the reasons why it is the way that it is, but honestly, it's just that way because it's convenient to the plot and characters the way they wrote it.
For me, when I'm trying to rationalize in my head, I have to sit down and think about Rika and V's ages when the twins were caught up in this mess. V is 5-6 years older than the twins. He would've been in his late teens and early twenties when he met them. His decision skills in this life aren't the best, either.
He is both smart and naive. He reveals how he found the agency to us in Saeran's AE. He genuinely met an agent through his artwork and that agent discovered Saeyoung... made an offer to V and that was that. He thought that Saeyoung would be safe there and get the tools to protect himself. He was gullible enough to tell us that he had thought it would be like the movies.
But, in reality, he and Rika could've easily taken both of the twins and fled the country with his money and power. He could've asked Jumin to help him forge papers. There were options. They all have money. It is power. But, V didn't do that. V decided he and Rika could handle it alone and took the agency's offer instead. They were young, hopeful, and just ran with whatever they had. It's like kids helping kids.
As far as Mother Choi goes... that's a mess.
My only working theory is that while he wanted them dead, there was always an opportunity that he could have taken to use them. At any point, he could have gotten rid of all three of them if he wanted. I wouldn't put it past him because it's already been implied that he has caused the deaths of many people. He could have wanted to use them for something in the future, so he humored the blackmail long enough knowing that it would be easy to keep Mother Choi silent.
He paid her the bare minimum to keep quiet and she got her booze. She had to use the kids to get money since there was no way in hell she could leave them alone forever. She couldn't go back to the lifestyle she had before them. I always thought she was trying to get with Saejoong for money and power if not while he had a wife to be his mistress, or to be his actual wife. I assume she did that to a lot of rich guys but Saejoong was the one that stuck.
Mother Choi wasn't the best at hiding. The twins were followed a few times. The only reason she got away with it was that Saejoong let her do it. He says that he wants to get rid of the two of them but the fact that he never made the move only implies that he was keeping them around just in case.
Saeran's AE proved he would use the twins if he could. He pulled Saeyoung's arm to make him lie on the television. It's not like he'd use the twins as family pawns to add his image. He'd probably work the two of them to the bone until they died. It's free labor for him that he doesn't have to pay.
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Please get yourself multiple emails!
More people need the 3 email system.
Junk Email - for random site sign ups and other things that might lead to your email being shared to dodgy people.
Personal Email - for friends and family, as well as paid sites and things connected to your personal life and more “reputable” sites like youtube or facebook.
Professional Email - For work or school related things and people you don’t want to have your personal email. Purely real life dealings.
This way you’re more likely to pick out spam and phishing emails, as well as having a clear divide between all the aspects of your life. It’s a lot easier to find things and you have more privacy. Plus you can email yourself things, like documents, pictures, or creative works for safe keeping.
#online safety#emails#online privacy#protect yourself#get your shit together#this has worked really well for me for years#It also means you can hide your online handle from others easier#children please you don't want anyone knowing what you were up to on the internet in your youth#got this stuck in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out
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Car Song - A Queen fic
Summary: Roger and John tease Brian about his song “Driven By You” while working on Made in Heaven
Wordcount: ~500
Notes: I... have no explanation nor excuse for this. (Also don’t @ me about Drive By You not being a car song, it was used in car commercials and it has the “driving wheel” line in it and that’s close enough.)
------------------------------------------------
They don’t talk about it at first. To be fair, they aren’t talking about much of anything when Brian’s solo album comes out. Roger congratulates him, of course, but things are strained between the former members of Queen, too much tension there in the wake of Freddie’s death and Brian’s initial refusal to help with what will be the final album. The specific details of Brian’s songs don’t get brought up during their too-short, and too-infrequent, conversations.
But later, when Made in Heaven is just barely completed and the three of them have one more night before they have to return to whatever their new normal lives will be, Roger finally broaches the subject.
“So, Brian. That album of yours, it’s some good stuff,” he says, his voice casual. Too casual.
Brian’s known his friends long enough to know that something is up. He doesn’t miss the mischievous glint in Roger’s eyes, or the way John tries to hide his amused smile, but whatever joke they’re running with escapes him. “Thanks,” he says, a little wary.
“Yeah, you know, you could tell you really put your heart and soul into the album,” Roger continues and, behind him, John starts to snicker almost inaudibly. “Though, there was one song I was surprised by.”
“And which one was that?” Brian asks. He runs through a mental list of the songs that made the cut for his album, wondering which ones his friends find so amusing. They always ragged on him for the extra long guitar solos, so maybe Last Horizon? Or maybe-
“It was... Oh, what was the name of it, Deacy? Brian’s new car song?” Roger asks with a wide, shit-eating grin and Brian groans as he realizes what their game is.
“It’s not a car song, honestly you guys-” he tries, but they are having too much fun with this to listen to Brian’s protests.
“Driven By You, I think it was,” John says, putting on a show of having to remember the title as if they hadn’t planned this whole conversation out, those bastards.
Roger snaps his fingers. “That’s the one! Honestly, Brian, I’m just surprised that you thought it was strong enough for the album-”
Brian picks up a coaster from the table in front of him and lobs it at Roger’s head. The drummer, laughing, bats it away easily- but John, too busy laughing at them to pay attention, isn’t so lucky and a balled-up napkin hits him square between the eyes next.
“You two are the worst,” Brian complains, though he can’t keep his own grin off his face. “Absolutely awful, both of you-”
“Nah, you love us,” Roger says, throwing an arm casually around Brian’s shoulders. “And after the shit you gave me for my car song, I am never letting you live yours down.”
Brian elbows him in the side but Roger just laughs, and doesn’t let go. Brian doesn’t actually mind, though, because Roger’s right- he does love his friends, and even when they’re being little shits about his music he’s glad to still have them in his life.
#......I don't know what happened but after my last post the idea of Roger teasing Brian about writing Driven By You got stuck in my head#and it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote this#so uhh... ???? here you go?? the fic no one asked for or wanted lmfao#queen band fic#my fic#brian#roger#john
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Life Sucks.
May Parker x fem!reader
(The lack of aunt May's fanfictions is embarrassing so here I am)
This is the second fanfiction I've ever wrote so I'm sorry if it's lame, but I don't write much. Plus, I wrote it just because I needed some comfort and right now my life sucks, lmao. And if being a loser wasn't enough, English is not even my first language so I'm sorry for grammar mistakes.😩
Summary: you've always been a victim of your parents arguments and things got even worse when you moved to Queens with them, but what will happen when your neighbors decide to help you with it?
Warnings: age gap, reader is in her 20s (minors, do not interact!) angst, abuse, language (?), self-harm, sexual tension, light smut at the end. (Feel free to tell me if I should add more)
Your life sucks. I mean, everyone's life sucks in a way or another, but yours was particularly challenging.
Your parents have the tendency to fight a lot and they always put you in the middle of the fights, like you could fix things between them.
Since you were born, the days where you and your parents had good moments together were rare and being a only child was even worse. You don't have someone who relate to you and who understands what you are going through, you were alone. At least that was what you thought until you moved to Queens.
At first you didn't like the city at all. Your parents left Los Angeles to go to an expensive and dangerous city just because they thought they could work things out with a new start with their child?
Bullshit.
They kept fighting like nothing changed, like they didn't force you to leave all your friends behind just for their marriage. And you couldn't complain about it. Absolutely not, they would scream at you how ungrateful you are because "we did this for you and for the sake of this family".
Yeah, right.
All you wanted to do was run away, find a new job and start over.
But, despite being in your 20s, you still couldn't move out on your own because the apartments in Queens are not cheap and your salary wasn't the best, therefore you are in a foreign city stuck with abusive parents and you have no friends.
But something changed one day when you were done with your parents arguments.
"Isn't she acting like crazy?!" your father asked you, pointing at your mother.
Oh, here we are again.
“Oh, now I'm crazy?!” She yelled back. “Yes, you are! You're ruining this family! Look at our child- she's crying again because of you!” Your father accused your mother just like he did a hundred times before. This was not new at all. You came to the point were you didn't even care about what they fight about anymore.
“STOP, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" You screamed at them before taking your jacket and headed to the door, being careful of slamming it before rushing away of the apartment.
You were now crying on the corridor of the building, a few doors away from yours.
Your neighbors were well aware of the situation in your apartment but they never did anything to help you, not even when you would stand in the corridor shaking and crying, so you preferred crying in silence now, it wouldn't make a big difference.
But something happened this time and the door near you opened.
“Uhm, hey? What are you doing here?” You hear a voice asking you.
You suddenly got up and started apologizing to a young boy, probably a little bit younger than you with messy, brown hair and a "I survived my trip to New York" shirt.
“Are you okay?” He asked you, concern evident in his voice.
“Y-yeah, sorry. My parents... They were-”
“Fighting?” He interrupted you with a sad smile, knowing he was unfortunately right.
“Yes... How do you...?” You asked him furrowing your eyebrows and wiping away some tears.
“I heard them before, they're pretty loud.” He joked, trying to make you feel better. “I never did anything because I didn't know what to do. I mean, you moved here just a couple of weeks ago, I don't know who you are and I know this means nothing but-”
“No, no. It's okay.” You interrupted him. “We're new here and we are strangers, we could be serial killers or something.”
He simply chuckled, still a little uncomfortable. “I'm Peter, by the way…Parker.” He stretched out a hand to you which you gladly shook.
“Hi, Peter. I'm Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Nice to meet you. Uhm, do you wanna come in?” He asked pointing to the apartment behind his back. “It's just me and my aunt.”
“Oh, I should prob-”
Before you could answer his question a new figure behind Peter made its way in the corridor.
She was beautiful, no... She was beyond that. She was stunning.
She had long, straight, brown hair and brown eyes. She was a little bit taller than you and she was wearing gray pants and a yellow low-necked shirt; not too much revealing but enough to make your mouth go dry.
“Peter, what are you doing here?” the woman asked and holy shit, she even more beautiful up close. When Peter pointed at you, she turned her attentions to your not good looking self.
“Hi, I'm May Parker.” She introduced herself with a big smile, hand stretched out for you.
“Oh, ehm, I'm Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you, Miss Parker.” You shook her hand looking deeply in her eyes and, if Peter didn't interrupt you two, you would probably still be holding her hand.
“May, she's the daughter of our new neighbors... You know...” He informed the woman, giving her a knowing look.
Great, everyone is gossiping about your parents fights.
The woman widened her eyes. “Ooh! Honey... Welcome, I guess? Would you like to come over?”
A part of you wanted to accept but the other was still a little bit uncomfortable knowing they were doing it just for pity, so you refused.
“Thanks, but I should go.” You said pointing at your door with your head, May and Peter simply nodded in agreement. “I have to check those two didn't kill each other.” You joked to lighten up the mood (and because that was your coping mechanism), but May and Peter looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and a concerned look.
“Uhm, maybe we could hang out together tomorrow, Peter. What do you think?” You suggested.
“Yeah, sure. You can come over tomorrow. That would be perfect, Y/N. Absolutely, no problem.” This boy talks too much but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
With a last goodbye, you head to your apartment with a little smile on your face.
_
As you promised, the next day you were at Peter's apartment and after that you became really good friends, and after a year you were practically part of the family.
May invited you to dinner often, to the point where she knew your favorite meals and you had your personal seat.
The feelings for her grew pretty strong and you could admit that you're in love with her. But she's was your best friend's aunt and you were in your 20s so this was not gonna happen. Plus it would be too awkward for Peter.
You and Pete do everything together, you don't understand much about math but he's glad to teach you just for fun, even though you said you don't need it since you graduated from high school a few years ago, but he says “math is always useful in life”, so you agreed just so you could teach him how to skateboard and he was surprisingly coordinated, much more than you.
You even started hanging out with his friends Ned and MJ and, despite the fact they are still teenagers, you didn't feel the pressure of the age gap at all. You have a lot in common with all three, but Peter was special. It was like he could sense when your parents were gonna fight. He always sends you a message asking you to come over just right before your parents would start yelling at each other and you honestly didn't know how he could do that.
One time you could hear them scream from May's apartment and you knew things were getting really bad. You were watching movies on the couch with the two of them and Peter immediately sensed you were going to panic.
“I- I should go.” You sighed, but before you could stand up, May's hands were on your shoulders, and she was looking at you with concern. That wasn't helping your nervous status.
“Sweetie, that shouldn't concern you. You can't always try to fix things, specially these things.”
Now her hands where on both of your cheeks and you could swear you were blushing.
“May is right, Y/N/N. You should stay, plus she made your favorite meal. You can't say no.” Peter said with a big smile on his face, trying to assure you.
You simply nodded, keeping your eyes on May since she was still holding you in place. She smirked and walked towards the kitchen, you immediately missed her touch.
You sighed and straightened up your posture, looking at your best friend who was smirking at you with his eyes half closed.
“What?” You asked confused.
“Uh? Nothing.” His smirk only grew wider.
_
A few days later your parents were fighting, again. And they involved you, as always.
“Y/N, am I wrong for hanging out with my friends and having some fun?” Your mother asked you with both of her hands on her hips.
“That doesn't give you the right to come home late and not making me dinner!” Your father yelled before hitting the table with his fist, making you jump.
“W-well. You could always cook something yourself.” You suggested quietly, not wanting to upset him.
How you wish you never spoke. Your mother gave you a grateful look, but your father... He immediately gave you the look he does when he wants to slap you. The look that terrifies you every, single time.
He started walking towards you and you immediately got up, some tears were trying to escape but you couldn't let them, he would've killed you.
“Stop acting like this and give me respect!” He was a few inches away from your face and that was it, that was the breaking point. You couldn't take it anymore so you did what you always do in situations like this and got out of the apartment. You hear your father scream “Go and never come back!” but you don't care anymore.
With shaky hands you knock frantically on Peter's door and a few moments later a confused May opens the door for you.
As soon as she sees you she understands and gives you a big hug, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You couldn't take it anymore so you collapsed on the apartment floor, crying and shaking.
“Oh, sweetie... Baby, what happened?” May kneeled in front of you, rubbing your back. If you weren't so shocked (and this was a normal situation) you would've been happy for the interaction you two were having but right now nothing felt real.
You tried to talk but nothing came out of your mouth, your were dizzy, numb, you wanted to scream but you couldn't.
“Hey, it's okay.” The older woman assured you with her hands on your cheeks, as she always does when you're sad. “Come here. Sit on the couch with me, love.”
You and May sit on the couch, and she gives you a glass of water. Your hands didn't want to collaborate and started shaking even more.
“Wait, let me help you, sweetie.” May placed a hand on the back of your head, stroking your hair and the other one on the glass, helping you drink.
God, I'm pathetic.
You muttered a thank you, not knowing what to say. You didn't know if it was for the fight with your parents or for the beautiful woman sitting next to you who was know stroking your knee comfortably. Now you didn't know if deciding to wear a skirt was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Where- Where's Pete?” You suddenly ask, totally forgetting about your best friend.
“Oh, he's at Ned's” She informs you with a sweet tone. “We're... alone.”
You swallow hard and nodd with a small smile, not trusting your voice. She looked at you and you saw that she was... nervous. Why would she be nervous about being alone with you? You were part of the family after all.
“So, do you want to talk about what happened?” Her thumb was now tracing circles on your knee while the other was still stroking your hair.
You take a deep breath. “It's always the same shit, May. My parents hate each other, they argue every. fucking. day. Even for the silliest things! It's impossible to live like this and I'm sorry if I always com-”
“What are those?” She abruptly interrupted you, looking down at your thigh.
You followed her gaze and found out that the skirt reveled your cuts.
Damn it.
“Wh- Those...” You start to panic and don't know what excuse to make up. “May, forget it. It's nothing.”
“You did this, didn't you?” She whispered tracing some of your cuts, making you hiss in pain. “Sorry…” She whispered sadly.
“Its okay.” Now the air was heavy. You didn't tell anyone you hurt yourself, not even Peter. It's not something to be proud of but you couldn't stop. The more you hurt yourself the more you wanna do it.
“I'll go take the medical kit.” She swiftly got up and disappeared in the bathroom. You didn't even have the time to tell her she didn't have to. She seemed upset and you couldn't figure out why.
When she came back, she had everything she needed to disinfect the wounds. “May, this is not necessary.” You assured her with gratitude in your voice.
She ignored you and kneeled in front of you, her hands shaking a little bit. “It is. Now raise your skirt so I can take care of this.”
Her tone was firm but shaky at the same time. She was anxious and you could tell by the way she was blushing and biting her lips.
You did as she told, your skirt was now up to the level of your panties and you could feel her gaze following your movements.
She shook her head and placed a hand on your thigh and before you could stop yourself, you sighed.
Her head immediately snapped to you, a little smirk appeared on her lips and her eyes darkened. “Can I try something?” Her voice was above a whisper, but you heard her clearly.
“Yes…” you moaned and immediately widened your eyes. “I mean... Yes.” This time you tried to sound more convincing, but it was evident you were a mess under her touch.
She was a little surprised by your behavior but she didn't say anything about it, instead she lowered her head and started kissing your hips, right where your cuts were.
You were too stunned to speak so you did the only thing you could do and stared at the beauty in front of you.
“Don't. Do. That. Ever. Again.” She said between each kiss as she was getting closer to your inner hip. You closed your eyes for a second and arched your back before taking a deep breath.
“May...” She looked at you with lust in her eyes and she couldn't control herself any longer. She kissed you.
You were a little taken back by the sudden action but immediately kissed her back when you processed what was happening.
You sighed into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around May's neck and you let out a small moan as soon as you felt May's hands grab your waist in a possessive way.
“God, you don't know how long I've been wanting to do this.” She confessed sitting on your lap, letting her mouth trail down your neck in a series of open mouth kisses.
“M-me too.” You let out a gasp when you felt her hand cupping your clothed cunt. The older woman smirked at you when she felt how wet you were. “May, please… touch me.”
She didn't waste any time and tossed your panties to the side before inserting one finger inside of you.
“Yes. Right there.” You moaned. It was pathetic how needy you were.
“You're so wet for me, babygirl.” May started to kiss your collarbone while she inserted another finger, making you moan louder.
“WOAH, HEY!” You and May immediately look at the door where a shocked and disgusted Peter was standing.
May swiftly composed herself and got up from your lap. “Peter, weren't you at Ned's?”
“We finished our project sooner.” His eyes were glued to you while yours where glued to the floor.
“Peter, we're so-”
“No, it's okay.” He interrupted you before he ran a hand through his hair. “I'm just gonna go to my room, but it's fine, really. I was getting tired of you two drooling over each other but never making a move.”
“You knew, Peter?” May crossed her arms and looked at him in disbelief. “How did you-”
“Of course I knew! You're not good at hiding you feelings.” He headed to his room, closing the door behind him. “And next time GET A ROOM.” He yelled on the other side of the door.
You and May looked at each other and started laughing. You got up and walked towards her before giving her a gentle kiss on her lips. As usual she placed both of her hands on your cheeks, but this time you never felt happier.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” She asked, biting her lips. She stared at you with a hopeful look and touched your lips with her thumb.
You closed your eyes for a second. “Yes, I would love that.”
And with that, she pecked your lips one more time and smiled.
Your life didn't suck after all.
_
That was it, aunt May simps! I hope you liked it and if you love that woman as much as I do you can check my povs about her on TikTok (loraine.maximoff), I'll drop the link <3
#may parker#aunt may#may parker x reader#peter parker#marvel#mcu x reader#marisa tomei#spider man now way home spoilers#spiderman#marvel cinematic universe#aunt may parker#tom holland#tony stark#marvel x reader#wanda maximoff#natasha romanov#steve rogers#the avengers#avengers assemble
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Uncover | Seulgi x F!Reader
Genre/warnings: fluff, angst, homophobia (religious)
Summary: You quickly learn that while it was easy to be dishonest with yourself, it was nearly impossible to lie to Seulgi.
Word Count: 4.7k
A/N: This has been something wracking up in my brain since June. It's kind of embarrassing that it's taken this long but it's a lovechild of my emotions. Enjoy, and I hope you feel things.
Date: 9/21/21
You can't imagine a day without her, because she's always been there. Right from the day you could remember. You bet that she could be your last memory too.
Your first memory has you sitting in the living room playing with your toys as you anxiously eye the other child in the room. Some strangers had rung your doorbell and your mom and dad had welcomed them into the house. Now they were in the kitchen, their voices blending into each other in the background.
The small girl in front of you decided to take the liberty of picking up your toys and playing with them. She ran around playing in the imaginary world in her head. You think that she's having fun and that you want to have fun too, but you can't seem to move from your position. As you slowly try to build up the courage to talk to her she approaches you.
She had been glancing at you from the corner of her eyes too. She watched your shy self idly playing all alone. She found it hard to approach you, scared of you pushing her away or being mean, but she thought maybe it was worth it. You could be a friend.
"Hi!" The strange girl is right in front of you with one of your stuffed toys in hand. "Do you want to play with me? I'm Seulgi!"
"I'm Y/N…"
For the rest of the hour the two of you chased each other in a shared adventure. Enraptured in your own little wonderland until your parents had to pull you apart.
Soon it became a ritual for those strangers, who you later learned to be Mr. and Mrs. Kang, to visit your house. Along them was always their daughter Seulgi, who wouldn't hesitate to pull you into a large hug right before starting a new adventure with you.
You slightly trail behind your best friend. You smile at yourself from the sight of Seulgi happily skipping, somehow filled with even more vigor than she usually has. She's always been filled with much more energy than you, amazed by even the smallest of things. You suppose something truly spectacular must be happening today for her to feel so extra. She turns her head over to look at you, flashing you her perfect smile with her perfect cheeks. The ones you always want to squish when you remind her of how cute she is.
She continues to bounce but slows down to be by your side. One of the favorite parts of your day, and hopefully hers too, would be the peaceful walk the two of you would always share before and after school. It always reminded you of how close you are. How you can always rely on her to listen and to brighten up your day.
She bites her lip while still smiling. She must be thinking about something.
"What's got you so excited today?" You ask her with a giggle.
"Guess!" She pesters leaning into you. A familiar feeling emerges in your chest from the contact.
"You know I'm really bad at guessing…"
"Well why can't you try?"
"All I know is that it has to be something really special, right?" You decide to lean back and push her a little as a tease.
"It is! Mom and dad bought me my favorite ice cream that we can share later today!"
You laugh at her as she continues giving her dumb smile. Seulgi moves in front of you with her eyebrows raised, waiting to hear your opinion about the news.
"Is that it?" You ask still laughing. She pouts a little.
"What do you mean 'is that it'? It's my favorite! And I get to share it with you!" With that you pull Seulgi in for a side hug.
"I'm kidding, I'm excited too."
You enjoy listening to whatever nonsense Seulgi thinks about and decides to spill to you as you guys continue walking. You feel a bit disheartened at the sight of the school building, but looking at Seulgi again is enough to make the disappointment go away.
As much as you wish it did, your schedule wasn't entirely with your best friend. Instead you had to split up as you entered the school grounds to your different classes. Fortunately you shared at least some classes with her, and most importantly lunch. So when you sit down at your desk with nobody talking to you, you don't feel too lonely. The anticipation of being reunited with Seulgi was enough for you.
As usual Seulgi finds your figure sitting down at a lunch table and immediately rushes towards you. She taps your shoulder as she sits down, hurriedly opening up her lunch box, her beastly appetite striking again.
"Oooh." She oogles as the both of you breathe in the sudden aroma of homemade food. You peer over to look at the contents of her lunch box. You swore that you can see the steam coming off of her rice.
"Open up!" Seulgi playfully demands of you. You oblige as she not so carefully throws a grape your way. It would've been lost if you didn't move your head to make up for the completely inaccurate trajectory.
"How are you still bad at this?" You ask her after chewing.
"Maybe I just like to see you work for your food." You laugh at her response as you carefully pick up a spring roll from your box and place it in hers.
"Mom fried it this morning so you better enjoy."
You enjoy the long-time tradition of sharing food and eating in relative silence. That time was short lived though as a small group of girls joined your table. You didn't mind them much, you'd even consider them casual friends. At the same time though, they were bothering you.
You found it strange that despite finally being with Seulgi you felt so lonely. So lost.
Seulgi's popular, you know that. A lot of people try to befriend her and fight for her attention. Being the social butterfly she is she never hesitated to say hello back and return the friendliness. By proxy you met a lot of nice people, a lot of not so nice people, and more. They never really stuck by for you though. They stayed for Seulgi.
You wish you understood why you were so bothered by those that stayed. Why you were always feeling jealous recently. You wonder if it's natural to feel so intensely sick when you watch your best friend's attention be pulled away by several different girls at a time, or laugh at a guys joke. Well, maybe you do know why.
You quietly sigh and push the thought away, instead trying to join in the chatter and laugh with everyone at the table. Just as you were about to calm down and ease into the group a sudden large group of guys and girls approach. One boy in particular seems to be leading the pack. You purse your lips as you silently watch them come over. Seulgi absent-mindedly continues talking, completely unaware of what was about to occur.
You tighten your hands into a ball as a feeling bubbles inside you. You can't place what it is. Is it fear? Anger? Jealously? It's probably both.
The boy also tightens his hands as they grip onto his shirt. You watch him bite his lip and see how a red color crawls up his neck and reaches the tips of his ears. You hold in a breath as he finally arrives at the table and Seulgi looks up at him.
"S-Seulgi." He barely manages to say her name aloud.
"Huh?" She looks at him cluelessly but gives him her full attention anyways.
"I like you! A lot! So if you can, please go out with me!" The boy's words spill out, as if his mouth was a floodgate holding them back. He reaches behinds him and quickly bends over to give Seulgi a piece of red paper, shaped like a heart. He probably wrote about his feelings extensively on it.
Your eyes had been focused on the love-stricken boy. It's hard for you to move your eyes towards Seulgi. You realize now what you're feeling. You fear what you'll see when you look over at Seulgi to see her reaction.
You notice that she's red too, the color slowly blossoming across her cheeks.
Why does this hurt you?
"Erm, ah, thank you." She says out of politeness and bows back. She gives him a smile and that seems to excite him. "I'll think about your confession."
He eagerly nods his head and leaves the table, happy with the results of his actions. The crowd around him seem to think that was a good ending and started whispering and congratulating him. You look back at your table and the girls are murmuring too.
"He's cute, you should definitely go for him!"
"I heard he treated his last girlfriend nicely. They're still on good terms."
"I've never seen you date before. Isn't now your time to explore?"
Seulgi just takes it all in and nods along with what they say. Your head hangs low as you pick at your food. You don't dare look up. You're scared of seeing Seulgi's face again. You're scared that tears will start falling.
It was like the weight of the world had fallen on your chest.
When the bell dismisses you from lunch you quickly go to your next class. You don't say goodbye to Seulgi or any of the other girls. You feel the light graze of Seulgi's fingertips as she tries to stop you, but you're too fast.
The rest of the school day is you trying to focus on studying, and when your last class finishes you're not sure what you'll do. Everybody leaves the classroom before you as you take some time for yourself. Breathing in and out, you mentally prepare yourself to face Seulgi, as if she was some type of monster.
As you exit the building and get near the gates you see a swarm of people with Seulgi in the center. They're probably there to ask about how she feels about the confession that happened. You sigh and almost contemplate leaving without her, but her eyes quickly find yours. Seulgi politely but abruptly says her goodbyes and runs towards you.
As Seulgi's figure grows nearer there's a feeling of satisfaction. It was like you had won some petty fight, and that feeling was able to erase the fear and nerves you had earlier. A smile grows on your face she reaches your side, your bodies automatically matching your steps. You enjoy the warmth when she locks her arm with yours. Not knowing what to say, you let silence fill the space in between the two of you until Seulgi decided to break it.
"So, do you wanna stay at my place for a bit so we can eat that ice cream?"
Seulgi's keys jingle as she unlocks her front door. You follow in after her, putting your shoes away as she dashes towards her refrigerator to retrieve the ice cream from the freezer. You walk up towards her as she hands one to you. Naturally, both of you make your way outside into her backyard.
Her backyard is quaint, housing a nice garden that her mother often tends and one large tree. The two of you rest under it, appreciating the winding arms of the apple tree that has always given you and Seulgi refuge. You enjoy the taste of the ice cream, perhaps the shade was enhancing its flavor. Either way you understood why its Seulgi's favorite. The refreshing taste and Seulgi's presence puts a smile on your face. You feel yourself opening up again as you guys joke and talk about your day in between bites and licks. By the time you finish eating your ice cream she had managed to convince you that she needed your extra help in math. As always you agreed to tutor her.
She argues that you should stay underneath the tree as she gets up to throw away the trash. You watch as she goes back inside the house, coming out again with a shiny apple in hand that was picked only a couple days ago. You laugh a little as you ask,
"Still hungry?"
"Enough for a little snack."
She sits by you and takes a rest on your lap. You brush her hair away as you look into her eyes. You can tell she's thinking about something.
"What's wrong?" You ask her.
"Well, I was just wondering, why were you upset earlier?" She says in a serious tone.
"Huh?"
"You didn't even say goodbye at lunch, and don't pretend I didn't notice you almost leaving without me." There's a hint of hurt in her voice. You feel bad for not keeping your emotions in check better, that you threw a fit over something so small.
"Well," Your voice trails off as your mind struggles to think of a response, "what does that boy mean to you?" You decide to ask.
"Oh so now you want to know about that too?" There's only a slight annoyance in her voice as she gives you an eyeroll.
"I'm your best friend, of course I'm curious." Seulgi huffs at your response. She can't blame you for wondering so she takes a moment to think before answering honestly.
"I mean, I guess they weren't wrong. He's kinda cute, and I know it took a lot for him to say that to me. I admire him for it." She said it in a casual manner, as if it wasn't a big deal. Yet for you it meant everything. And it hurt.
You can't control the frown that found its way on your face.
"Hey…" Seulgi quickly gets up from your lap. She has a confused expression as her eyes scans yours. "Hey, what's wrong?" Her voice is soft as she puts a hand on your shoulder.
Your chest is about to explode.
"Do you like him or something?" She continues to grip onto your shoulder with a confused face. She thinks she was the one who did something wrong. That she's stealing someone away from you, but that was so different from the truth.
"No, Seulgi, I-" You pause to think about what you're going to say. Something was about to come out instinctively, and you don't know whether or not that was the best decision.
"You what?"
She presses you for an answer but you're still thinking. You're thinking about you know you can't handle her possibly being close to someone else. To share all of her laughs with that boy. To smile at him and spend time with him. To do all the things that exists between you and her. Living would feel wrong if you were no longer the one she ran to and spilled her secrets to.
Who are you if not Seulgi's biggest and only confidant? The only one who could soothe her in her darkest moments? The one who understands every feeling and thought just by the way she blinks?
You're intimately familiar with the feeling in your chest now. You think that you know what it is too, but that doesn't make you hate it any less. If you could, you'd sacrifice every fiber of your being to forget that feeling and throw it away. To pretend it doesn't exist. But your wishes don't make it go away.
You can be dishonest with yourself, but it's impossible to lie to Seulgi. Not when she looks at you like that.
"I like you."
The words are barely a whisper but she hears. Seulgi's hand falls off your shoulder and you want to cry again. You said the wrong thing. She was going to think you're disgusting. She would never go on a walk with you again. You'll never smell her perfume again. You'll never hear her laughter again. She'd never touch you again. Never speak to you again.
Her mouth is open slack. Your eyes water and you breathe in, readying yourself to apologize profusely. To rescind the blasphemous words that slipped out of your foul mouth.
"I'm so sorry. Just ignore it. I take it back. I think I'm sick or something, you know, delirious. Just ignore it please. Please." Tears begins to fall down your face as Seulgi seemingly snaps back to reality. She reaches towards you, taking your face in her hands as her thumbs swipe away the tears.
"Oh my god, no, don't cry." She begs you to stop, but you can't.
"I-I'm, I'm sorry." The tears continue to make their way down your face. A horrible sickness wells in your stomach and suddenly it feels below freezing as you shake uncontrollably.
"No, don't be." She hugs you tight and whispers in your ear. "I like you too. So stop crying. For me, please." She strokes your back as you cry, hoping that the touch could settle you down.
It takes a while for you to register what she says, but as soon as you do your body seizes up. You think that maybe your everything, your soul, has shattered into a million pieces from Seulgi's words. How in the world could it be true? It couldn't be, not in this universe, not in this timeline.
Yet it was.
When Seulgi hears your sniffling stop and your body letting go of its tension she separates her body from yours. Her eyes are all you can see, and all you can see in them is pain.
"I'm sorry for making you worried." You felt guilty that she had to see you cry. The outburst at school wasn't great either.
"Don't worry about it" She reassures you by taking a hand in hers, stroking it with her delicate fingers to show you her affection. For several moments you allow yourself to breathe. Seulgi also took the time to process everything, and the two of you stared at each other with the new understanding of your feelings. Time seems to pass so slowly when you observe each other with care.
"Seulgi…" You mumble when what felt like years passed. She understood what you meant when she saw the way you looked at her lips.
In that moment you couldn't care anymore. Neither could Seulgi, it seemed, as you pressed your lips on hers and she pressed back. Greedily, the two of you dived in for a taste. Your lips on hers, her tongue in your mouth, it was something you needed. It was a flavor you could relish forever, perhaps this is what sin tasted like. Yes, this is what they'd call it. A sin.
It feels like everything has changed, but at the same time it hasn't. You still spend every second possible with Seulgi. You spend your time doing the same things. Yet everything feels so different, it feels brand new. Magically, it feels better than before. Is this the power that Seulgi has over you?
Nobody knows, nobody needs to know. After all, you're still Seulgi's bestfriend. Is there really anything different? Maybe just the tighter hugs, the kisses, and the alluring smiles, but that's all. Life is easy this way.
After bidding Seulgi goodbye in front of her house you go home to eat dinner with your family. You come home and greet your parents with a smile as you rush to join them at the dinner table. They share that smile as they take note of your enthusiasm recently. As you eat quietly for a while your mom finally asks you what's been going on to make you shine so much.
"Well..." You debate on what to say. It's been over a month since you confessed to Seulgi but you were still feeling high. You've been holding it for so long you wished you could tell someone. Why not them? You want them to be happy with you too. "I've been dating Seulgi."
"Hm?" Your mom asks you somewhat aggressively for clarification. The sudden stillness in the air alarms you. You look up from your food to see your mom staring as your dad stops eating.
"I-I told her I liked her and she liked me back." You say hoping to clear whatever confusion was occuring. Yet the look on your parents didn't fade.
"What happened?" You father's question sounds more like a statement as he sternly places his utensils down.
"What do you mean what happened? I just told you."
"What happened to make you like this?" His cold voices breaks a little as you notice his eyes tearing up. Was he seriously upset about this?
"You're joking, right?" Your mom joins in with an angry tone.
"Of course I'm not. Mom, she makes me really happy." You struggle to keep yourself composed under the scrutiny of both of your parents.
"Y/N. You are not happy. You're messing with the devil right now and he's fucking up your mind."
"Have you not been doing your prayers?"
You can barely fight for yourself at the dinner table. Your parents argue with and over you, about the causes and the whys. About the signs and what happens next. You cry as you watch your decision unfold into your nightmare.
You knew deep down inside this would happen, but you hoped and prayed that it wasn't true. Perhaps Seulgi made you too happy, too brave. Everything else felt like it was going right so you convinced yourself this would too. You've flown too close to the sun and it backfired. You should've never said anything.
As you try to block out the fight unraveling in front of you you could only scream one thing while crying. "Wouldn't God want to love me? Wouldn't He want you to love me too?"
The scrape of the wooden chair echos as your mom shoots up straight. "I will not house some heathen under my roof. Get out until you realize what you've done to this family."
It's raining. The relentless torrent of water against your body traps in the coldness from the night, leaving you shivering as your feet move on their own. They move to the only other place that feels like home. The only other person that feels like home.
Soon enough you find yourself in front of a familiar door, incessantly knocking. Muffled footsteps come from the other side of the door as you hear locks being undone until the door finally opens. Instantly there's a look of worry on Mr. Kang's face as he takes in the scene in front of him. He quickly ushers you in and shuts the door.
"Who is it?" A voice rings from upstairs.
"It's Y/N!" Mr. Kang yells back, and soon enough you hear a flurry of footsteps coming downstairs. Seulgi, in her tired glory, appears. She rushes towards you as her father went off to find you some towels to dry off with.
"Oh my god, what happened? Why are you here? Are you okay?" Seulgi's honey eyes are glistening with worry. She doesn't seem to care too much about the fact that you're soaked as she embraces you in a hug. Her body soothes you, its warmth penetrating the cold, wet clothes that clung to your body. You let her ground you back to reality before speaking.
"I don't wanna talk about it right now." You barely manage to get the words out. Your throat feels tight, constricted. Throughout the entire time the tears haven't stopped running down your face as it mixed with the rain water. Seulgi rubs your back as her father comes back. Both of them begin patting you dry.
It feels a bit pathetic as you have two people fretting over you so much, but you're too tired to move. Maybe not even tired, but rather stuck in your own thoughts.
"Go get her something to change into. Are you gonna stay the night?" Her dad asks after making Seulgi go back upstairs to find clothes. You just nod in response and follow her.
When you enter Seulgi's room you find her hastily going through her drawers, finding something comfortable for you to wear. After digging through her clothes she hands you some sweatpants and an oversized shirt, much like her own outfit she was sporting. Your hands are in front of you and holding onto the clothing, yet you still can't seem to move much. Instead your lips tremble as you look at the floor. Seulgi sighs as she nears you, unfolding the clothes and looking at your trembling hands.
"Don't make me dress you." She half-teases. When she realizes you can't will yourself to move a grim line stretches across her face. She wonders what has gotten you so riled up to act this way.
Carefully, she removes your clothes and throws them into the laundry pile. Her fingers innocently skim your body as she puts on the clothes for you, with you doing the minimal movements required to help her. Over the years she's already been more than familiar with your body, and the same for you with her touch. Although you can't vocalize it you silently appreciate the care and intimacy she demonstrates.
Soon enough she finishes though and pulls you towards her bed. Sitting you down she places herself behind you after grabbing a dry towel. She begins to dry your hair while letting you stay silent. Another thing you appreciated about her. She let you take your time.
"Seulgi..." Your voice croaks out as if you've aged several decades.
"Yes?" She stops drying off your hair, instead placing the towel down as she wraps her arms behind you and leans forward.
"They know." She doesn't say anything but her body is still for a minute. Afterwards she finishes drying off your hair, at least one of you can stay calm in this situation. That's what you need. "They told me to come back when I come to my senses."
"It's okay. Everything will be okay. We'll figure something out." You let her guide you down on her bed. Your crying had stopped a while back, but the shock coursing through your body didn't. As Seulgi pulled up the sheets and began to hold you you turned around and looked at her. You looked into the eyes that told you everything. Right now they told you that all Seulgi had on her mind was you.
So you think that you should only think of Seulgi too, because you can always forget about the consequences when you're with her. With a kiss on your forehead she tells you to sleep. She gets impossibly closer to you, holding you tight. Holding you as if you are her treasure.
The familiar trees and houses enter your view as you drive down your childhood neighborhood. Your fingers tap on the steering wheel as you listen to the song Seulgi played in the car. Out of the corner of your eye you see her smile at the thought of visiting her parents. It's enough to make you happy as well.
As you near her parent's house you pass by your own. It's been years since you've been inside, years since you even saw it. You're okay with it though, but your mind still wonders how your parents are doing. You wonder if the house is lonelier now, if they ever think about the sparse letters and phone calls you have exchanged and how they always were fights. Do they know you and Seulgi are coming to visit? Will they want to see you?
Whatever the answer is it doesn't matter. The only family you have to worry about is the girl right next to you and her parents. You feel thankful that she's your first love and hopeful that she's your last. Despite how many times your lives have separated you two, how you both dated other people and had your own quarrels, you guys came back to each other in the end. She changed you during your formative years and supported you as the two of you have grown up.
No one else can make you uncover these sides and feelings like she does.
#seulgi x reader#rv seulgi#kang seulgi#red velvet x reader#red velvet scenarios#red velvet imagines#gg imagines#gg scenarios
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daisy cafe
Harry Potter x Muggle!reader
not a request
warnings: mentions of death, ptsd?? (in the form of nightmares)
summary: Harry starts his healing journey after the Battle, and a rainy night after a counseling session brought him into your café
a/n: hope y'all like this random imagine i wrote <3 i was meant to post it last night but i got into a heated debate about ww84 and i don't queue posts so here's this. no lie, i had a hard time writing this lol it's a whole 4k long imagine (whoops) also, when i say 'football' in this fic, i mean soccer lol
(gif cred)
The Battle of Hogwarts.
There was a lot to say about that day. So many perspectives and interpretations from different people. And today, Harry would talk to his counselor about his. At first, he opposed the idea of having a counselor but Hermione insisted that he talks to a professional. Well, insisted probably isn't the word. If anything, Hermione probably forced him into it and made the appointment herself.
So here he sat in the waiting room, sitting awkwardly in an uncomfortable chair. Even the chairs in the Hogwarts classrooms were more comfortable than these. The room was small and had tacky sunflower wallpaper. Harry sat by himself and internally cursed his best friends for just leaving him there and drove off. ‘Call me when it's over!’ Hermione had yelled out through the window.
“Mr. Harry Potter?” a young man called out for him. Harry followed him into the counselors office, noticing that the room was much nicer than the waiting room and the chairs looked more comfortable. And if he was going to be stuck here for over an hour, he better not walk out with back pain.
Harry sat patiently as he waited for the counselor to come. He noticed the golden name plate on the desk with a name written in black letters. Jon Osborne. Harry’s leg was unconsciously bouncing in rhythm with the ticking of the clock on the wall. He didn't think he'd be nervous about it as he was now. He immediately stood up as he heard Dr. Osborne come in. “Mr. Potter, it’s an honor to meet you,” he stretched his hand out to greet Harry.
“Pleasure’s all mine, sir,” Harry said with a shy smile. Once they sat down, Dr. Osborne went straight into it, “So tell me, Mr. Potter, how have you been?”
“Great. I've been busy planning a wedding,” Harry stated like it was a normal conversation. “Congratulations. Yours, I'm assuming?”
“No, it's for my two best mates,” Harry corrected. “They're getting married pretty soon and I offered to help pay for it. Not really doing much of decoration planning, Hermione thinks Ron and I would pick something stupid,” Harry wasn't looking at Dr. Osborne directly, but he had a faint smile as he explained the details. “And are you with anyone?” Dr. Osborne asked.
It made the young wizard think. Ron and Hermione were getting married, Neville and Luna were having fun on small dates, and Ginny was still going back and forth with Dean. “No, I'm not with anyone at the moment.”
His counselor wrote something down quickly before going forward with the next question. “Do you think about it often?” Harry knew what he was insinuating. His breath hitched a bit. Harry certainly didn’t expect to be asked this question so early on. From Hermione’s explanation, he wasn’t expecting to talk about the Battle for maybe another couple sessions. And that was if Harry even wanted to do other sessions.
“You don’t think you need to be here,” it was like he read Harry’s mind. And it was true. “Well, I do have a pretty solid support group. We all went through it together.” Harry rubbed the palms of his unusually sweaty hands against his pants.
“So because you and your friends went through it together, you're okay? Nothing about it bothers you?” had Dr. Osborne’s tone altered just a bit, he would've sounded condescending. He sounded a bit empathetic. It made Harry actually want to talk. “Do you and your friends actually talk about it?”
The answer was clear to Harry. No. If he was being honest, he didn't think there's even a reason to talk about it. The worst had been over, and now that him and his friends and family – and by family, he meant the Weasleys – were finally in peace, Harry figured that he wouldn't have to think about it again.
But the nightmares were relentless. It wasn't like the ones he had when Voldemort was in his mind and showing him things he wanted to show Harry. These nightmares were worse. They consisted of the worst that could have happened that day. Watching his friends die, his professors, his peers. The worst of the worst. And there's one that he hated the most. Being in Voldemort's point of view and killing Harry successfully and for good this time.
Hermione tried to get Harry to talk, but he's too stubborn. So she figured the only way to get him to talk was to schedule this appointment. He was promised confidentiality and listening ears with no judgement. Harry accepted because he knew that even though Hermione would always be there, she would probably say something like ‘You're not alone in this, we're all here for you and with you.’ Ron would listen to the whole thing and suggest getting a drink and food. Harry loves his friends, but it's hard to talk about such things when they've gone through it too. He wondered if they felt the same.
—
Harry was leaving his fourth session with Dr. Osborne. Unexpectedly, he enjoyed these meetings. It felt good to talk to someone outside of his friends. Hermione noticed how he was returning to his old self, joking around and enjoying playing quidditch at the Burrow.
Harry decided on taking a small walk around the Muggle London street before calling Hermione and Ron to pick him up. After ten minutes, though, sprinkles of rain were falling down. And sprinkles turned into hard falls. Harry covered his head with his hands and looked around for someplace to run in. Next to him was a dental office, but to his luck the door was locked. He kept looking and looking for some place to stay inside until finally, he saw a building across the street with a lit up ‘Open’ sign.
Harry looked both sides of the street before running across. He was getting soaked by the second and when he ran inside, his jacket was dripping onto the mat. The place was warm and smelled lovely. Harry took his glasses off and wiped it with the driest part of his shirt. The cafe looked as warm as it felt. There weren’t any guests inside and he didn't find anyone working there. Harry saw the bell on the bread display and pressed on it a few times. After a couple of minutes, a girl came to the front. “Sorry for taking so long, how can I help– oh are you alright?” You saw the puddles of water that were splattered all around the floor. But your worry was with the stranger that was most likely freezing. “D-do you happen to have a phone around?” Harry asked you. He was shaking where he stood and all he wanted was to go home and get into some warm clothes. You nodded your head and went in the back to get the phone. Harry wanted to sit down, but he didn't want to make more of a mess than he’s already done. You came back quickly with a phone and a few rags so he could dry himself.
Harry dialed Hermione’s number and waited for her to answer. She didn't answer the first or second time which made Harry frustrated. They better not be in the middle of it right now. Finally, she answered on his third call. “Hello?”
“Hermione, what the bloody hell have you been doing?” Harry sassed. When he looked up, he saw how you stood awkwardly to the side, surprised that in contrast to his sweet demeanor, he sounded like the opposite. But that was just your assumption.
“Harry? Is that you? Why are you calling from this number?” In the background, he could hear Teddy joyful coos. “I was just giving Teddy a bath, I couldn't hear the phone.”
“Oh. Well, it’s raining really hard, can you come pick me up?” Harry felt your eyes on him still and he smiled awkwardly.
“Of course, are you still in the office?”
“No, I’m– hold on” he stopped mid-sentence and lowered the phone down, “where am I?” It took you a couple seconds to process that he was talking to you now, “Oh, uh, Daisy Cafe.”
“Daisy Cafe,” Harry repeated back to Hermione. “Alright, I’ll be right there.” And she hung up. Harry handed the phone back to you, “Thanks.”
Your hand was warm against his, a warmth he wished he had instead of the cold that enveloped his body. Harry’s legs were getting tired from standing so long and you noticed the shift in his position. “Please, take a seat,” you had gestured to a table. Harry insisted that he didn't want to ruin the chairs, but you didn't mind.
You checked the time on your wristwatch and ran to the back leaving Harry alone. He wondered what you were doing until he saw you come back slowly dragging a large heating machine. Harry stood from his seat and rushed to help you, “Where did you want this?”
“I was going to put this in front of the table so you can warm up. Don’t want you to get sick,” you spoke softly. You felt yourself warm up on your cheeks, somehow shy in this moment. On a daily basis, you talk to loads of strangers and some of them were quite attractive. But something about this stranger felt different.
Harry blinked with an indescribable look in his eyes as he stuttered a ‘thank you’. You turned on the large heater after Harry sat back down and slightly shifted his chair so he could be in range of the heaters’ direction.
You grabbed your keys from your back pants pocket to lock the door and turned the ‘Open’ sign off. “Would you like some coffee?” you offered him. Harry nodded and searched his pockets for his wallet before you stopped him, “Don't worry! It's on the house.”
There was a pot of coffee that was still hot on the warmer and you grabbed a tray, filling it with a mug, creamer, sugar, and a small plate of assorted biscuits in case he was hungry as well. You walked to his table and sat them down. He was in awe of all the things you brought out for him and felt grateful that you would do this for a stranger. “Thank you,” he nodded his head at you with a genuine smile.
“It’s no trouble,” you smiled back. You sat across from him with a mug of your own and sipped on the hot beverage you made. Harry took a sip of the coffee he finished preparing and nearly sighed at the feeling of it warming him up inside. Mixed with the heat that was coming from the heater, he felt brilliant as he usually says.
“Do you live around here?” You started small chat to get out of the awkward silence.
“No, I live just outside Ottery St. Catchpole.” Harry stated. He noticed the confused look on your face, you had probably had no idea where that was. “It’s kind of in the middle of nowhere.”
You nodded in response. Harry then asked if you lived around. After a while, you had gotten to know each other pretty well. He learned about your two cats that are always fighting, you learned about his friends always pulling pranks on each other in the house. As Harry waited for Hermione to pick him up, he was enjoying talking and laughing with you. You two were having such a good time getting to know each other in what felt like thirty minutes, but was actually an hour.
Once Hermione was in front of the cafe and beeped the horn of the car, Harry felt a bit disappointed to leave. This was probably the first conversation he had with someone who he didn't already live with or paid to listen. And it was a bonus that he found you quite attractive. “That’s for me. Thank you… for letting me stay.”
“Oh it’s no trouble. Safe travels on your way home! I hope you don’t get sick,” you waved off as you opened the door for him. Harry ran through the hard rain to get into his friend's car, but once he opened the door to the front seat, he turned back to you. “I never got your name!” Harry yelled out.
“Y/N! What’s yours?” You voiced with the same energy.
“Harry!” You smiled and waved one last time before closing the door and got yourself ready to go home. Harry fastened his seatbelt and held a small smile nearly the entire ride home. Hermione cleared her throat to get her friends’ attention. “How was the session today?”
Harry nodded ‘yes’ in an attempt to not have to talk. Not because he was gloomy, but distracted. He then processed what she said and replied back to the bushy haired woman, “Oh, i-it went fine. Good, great.” Harry was stuttering over his words. It was something that Hermione instantly noticed what was going on. The last time he was like this was when he first met Cho in fourth year. It was nice, she thought, that Harry was not only getting back to normal, but was also focused on something - or rather someone - other than his nightmares.
—
Harry goes to your cafe now after every session with Dr. Osborne. He finally went for his drivers license so he didn't have to depend on Hermione anymore. Ron and Hermione apparate to work anyway, so it granted him more access to the car.
Every Monday and Thursday, you would wait for him to walk through your doors. You would set aside a small box of warm biscuits for him that he seemed to enjoy and remembered how he took his coffee. After a couple of weeks, the people you worked with would give you a smirk and tease you with ‘He’s here~’. One of them, Jo, would constantly ask you if Harry has asked you out yet. And every time, you'd say ‘No.’ only for him to reply back ‘Well, why don’t you ask him out?’
You’ve definitely thought about it, but you didn't know how to ask him. There would be times that you thought Harry would do it before he left, but he’d just be a stuttering mess and leave. So, tonight before he leaves, you planned to just be straight with him and ask him to dinner.
Harry came later than usual today. After he stepped out of the counselors’ office, he checked his hair in the mirror he saw in the hallways. Tonight, he was also planning on asking you out. He likes you and he was pretty sure you liked him too. Once he stepped outside, he saw a flower cart in front of a local bank. Harry debated whether or not to buy you some, but opted out. What if she says no? What do I do with them at that point?
After an hour of having a mental pep talk, he entered Daisy Cafe. He didn't see you behind the bread display like he always had. Jo had recognized him immediately and watched as Harry looked around the small cafe for you. “She’s in the back, would you like for me to get her?”
“I-I can wait. She’s probably busy,” Harry stuttered. He didn't know whether it was a good thing or bad thing that your co-worker instantly knew what he was there for. Is it really obvious? Harry thought. He saw as Jo walked to the back anyway, probably announcing his presence to you. As it turned out, you were in the back checking yourself out in the small mirror that was hung on the inside of your locker. You ran out as soon as Jo said "He’s here" and dusted the flour off onto your apron.
“Hi, Harry,” you greeted.
“Hi,” Harry greeted back. “How are you?”
“I’m doing good, just cleaning up. Did you have a good day?” you asked. Harry nodded his head. He was about to order before you stopped him, “Your usual today?” He gave a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his head, “I come in that often, don't I?” You chuckled and began making his coffee. “It’s alright, I enjoy your company.” The both of you blushed, more so you after the sudden confession.
You couldn't see him, but Jo was listening to your conversation and wanted to laugh. You looked at Harry for any signs of possible rejection and just as quickly looked away to finish his order. Jo came out from the back with his bag and keys in his hand, “I’ve counted the safe for you. Have a good night, I’ll head out.” You nodded your head and thanked god for the interruption, “Thanks hun, see you tomorrow.” He winked at Harry once you looked away as to say ‘Good luck’ and walked out.
Harry became nervous and thought about just grabbing his coffee and going home. He hadn't dated anyone in a long time and didn't know where to even start. Merlin, he didn't even know what to do in a relationship. And especially with a muggle. Harry nearly forgot what it was like to be around muggles after the Dursley's left their home on Privet Drive and Harry moved in the Weasley’s in the Burrow. He certainly couldn't bring you there anytime soon. Especially when Arthur would ask you loads of questions. Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.
Neither of you knew how to get a conversation going. You took your time stirring his coffee and grabbing the small box of biscuits before turning back to him. You made yourself tea instead, having drank too much coffee throughout the day to calm your nerves. He took the styrofoam cup and box from your hands and purposely brushed his fingers against yours but made it seem like an accident. Your neck stiffened at the sudden physical contact and pulled your hands back. He felt electric and if he let you, you'd grab his hands and keep them intertwined with yours.
It’s now or never you thought. “Do you want to go to dinner sometime–”
“Would you like to go out with me–” you and Harry spoke at the same time. You hadn't processed what he said so you questioned, “Huh? What was that?” Harry thought he heard you correctly, but he asked you again, “Would you like to go out with me? For dinner, maybe?”
YES, YES, YES you chanted in your head. Your heart was warm and you felt a butterfly flutter about inside you. On the outside, you were cool and collected. But your smile could have spoken for you. “Yes, I’d love that.”
—
Hermione helped Harry with looking for nice places in muggle London. George offered his best suit to the raven-haired boy, but Harry declined because he was significantly smaller in stature than the tall ginger, and also because he feared that George would have hexed the suit to either squirt out water, or have random objects falling out the sleeves.
George, Ginny and Ron would tease Harry about finally having a girlfriend, only to get scolded by both Hermione and Molly to stop. “Harry is a perfectly handsome young boy, he should be dating as much as he can,” Molly would defend.
“Ah, but mum, Harry isn't a boy anymore,” George joked. Molly hit her sons’ head with a cleaning rag and returned to what she was doing. Harry had picked a small restaurant that Hermione recommended that was inexpensive but not shabby. He never really liked expensive places or things even though he can absolutely afford them. She suggested that she helped him pick out something to wear, but he stopped her right there. “I can dress myself, thanks,” Harry sassed.
“The one you should be helping is my hopeless brother,” Ginny joked about Ron. He didn't find it all funny as Ron had a sour look on his face and whispered under his breath, “Bloody menace.”
“What did you say?” Ginny stood straight up from the couch and chased Ron throughout the house. She may be the youngest in the house, but it didn't make her any less scary when mad. George laughed at the sight of his siblings fighting while Molly yelled at them to be careful.
Harry finally put everything together – but if he was honest, he was putting together whatever Hermione said – and went to his room. There was still a couple days until the date, but he was nervous. He’s never really gone on a date. There was the night with Patil at the Yule Ball, but that didn't end well. There were a couple hang outs with Cho in the library, but never an actual date. So he hoped that this would turn out well.
—
Harry's breath was taken away when he saw you. You looked absolutely beautiful in the sundress you wore. Looking ethereal, you hadn't noticed Harry across the street parking the car. For a split second, he almost rear ended the car in front of him.
He walked towards slowly after taking a deep breath and held a single daisy in one hand. Hermione said roses were ideal, but he figured he should come up with at least one thing on his own. Your e/c eyes met his green ones and your heart did somersaults in your chest. Once he stood in front of you, you both said ‘Hi’ at the same time. Harry handed you the daisy and you were flattered by the gesture. It was a beautiful flower and you couldn't wait to put it in a small vase and display it at the cafe.
“Shall we go inside?” Harry had one of his hands pointed towards the door of the restaurant. You nodded and walked into the place with Harry holding the door open for you and another elderly couple behind him. He’s so sweet you thought.
The night was perfect; Harry had felt comfortable in your presence. Much like the first night you had met and the times after, you both spent the dinner talking and laughing. This was the most normal, but also best Harry had felt in a long time. He hadn't realized how he never really got to be a young person due to all the insane things he’d gone through his six years at Hogwarts and then before with his aunt and uncle. But here he was with you, doing the most normal thing. Harry’s troubles were lifted off of his shoulders. There was no threat of Death Eaters terrorizing the streets, there was no Dark Lord out to get him; it was just him sitting down and having dinner with a woman that he really liked.
He learned more about you tonight. For one, you were also an only child. Other than your cats, you also liked dogs. And you occasionally played football with some of your cousins. Harry had never played football, but if it was anything like quidditch, he was sure that he'd love it as well.
At the end of the date, he took you to your underground tube station. You walked side by side, hands slightly brushing against another. You walked a bit faster to stop in your tracks right in front of him. “I had a lot of fun,” you confessed.
“Me too,” Harry expressed. You looked down at your fiddling hands while Harry couldn't take his eyes off of you. He was about to say ‘good night’ before you built up the courage and kissed him on the cheek. “Night, Harry,” you beamed at him. Harry was turned into a blubbering, love-struck fool as he saw you walk further and further away. Finally, he yelled out, “I’ll see you on Monday!”
Before turning away into the tube, you waved and repeated his words back at him, “See you Monday!”
—
“Well you're certainly in a bright mood today, Mr. Potter,” Dr. Osborne observed Harry from his seat. Since the date, he’s been talking a bit brighter and his smile is more genuine than when he first came in. “Could it be because you’re seeing someone after you leave?” All Harry could do was smile. “Well I’m very happy that you now have a companion aside from your friends.”
Harry nodded before he replied back, “Thank you, sir.”
“No need to thank me, Mr. Potter. You did this on your own,” Dr. Osborne stated. “Will you bring her to the wedding?”
“No, I don't think we’re ready for that,” Harry informed. This wedding would definitely include magic and you hadn't been close to any exposure of it. “Of course.” Dr, Osborne added. There was a bit of silence after that, which gave the counselor an opportune moment to ask about some of the things that were the reason for his weekly visits. “Do you still have the nightmares?”
Harry’s smile lowered. “Yeah, I do. But not as frequent as I used to have them.” It was true, it went down from him having them about nearly everyday to only get them once every couple weeks. He thanked Merlin you were kept out of his nightmares. He didn't need to see something traumatizing.
Dr. Osborne took notes and set his notepad down. “Well, Mr. Potter. I have seen excellent progress since day one. I think we can move down to just one session per week and work our way down to once every few weeks. I'll see you next Monday.” He opened the door for Harry and shook his hand as Harry left. Harry went to your cafe right after. The daisy he gifted you was on display above the glass bread display in a small, white vase. He hoped that you regularly watered and fed it so you wouldn't notice that Harry actually hexed the flower to never die. You were currently helping someone out when Harry stood in line. Once the customer you were with left, you noticed your boyfriend – at least you assumed he was, now – standing behind a couple of people. He waved at you, and you pointed to the usual table he sat at. It was almost like you reserved the table only for him. He nodded and sat down, patiently waiting for you to finish the line of customers.
Harry was mesmerized watching you work, the beautiful, kind smile you had when talking to customers. Some of them were obviously regulars as you asked one elderly man how his grandchildren were. Once she finished helping everyone, she started working on the usual coffees and tray on biscuits for the two of you.
Harry loved hearing about your day and he wished he could tell you more beyond what happens at home that didn't include magic. He didn't know when he'd tell you about him being a wizard. Ron and Hermione told him that if he were to tell you, you're more than welcome to attend their wedding which was still a few months away now that they have all the time in the world to plan it. He didn't know what to say, but there was one thing he was sure about. He really liked, maybe even loved, how comfortable he felt around you. He liked the way your hands felt in his, your eyes shying away when you looked at him for too long. And he loved the feeling of your warm, soft lips against his at the end of the night when you had just locked the doors and he just went for it. Because in that moment, he wasn't the famous Harry Potter who saved the wizarding world, he wasn't Harry Potter who was recovering from the aftermath of the Battle. He was just Harry, and he really liked being your boyfriend.
At least he assumed he was.
—
requests open!
#harry potter#harry potter imagine#requests open#harry potter fluff#harry potter angst#harry potter x reader#harry potter x y/n#harry potter x you#harry potter x muggle!reader
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the many faces of tom riddle, part 4
-attachment, orphanages, and yet more child psych: time to add yet another voice to the void-
FULL DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION OF A CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE STRONGEST CANON CHARACTERIZATION, AND THUS ALL THIS IS BASED ON MY CONCEPTUALIZATION.
I'm going to be super biased, because my favorite portrayal of Tom Riddle is actually Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as eleven-year-old Tom Riddle, in HBP and I get to chat about child psych in this one, sooo here we go.
First of all, I’m just so impressed that a kid could bring that much depth to such a complex character.
This is the portrayal, I feel, that brings us closest to Tom’s character. Yes, Coulson’s brought us pretty close, but by fifth year, the mask was on.
We don't really get to see Tom looking afraid very often, but it's fear that rules his life, so it's really poignant in our first (chronologically) introduction, he looks absolutely terrified.
The void being the fandom's loud opinions on a certain headmaster. I wouldn't call myself pro-Dumbledore, but I'm certainly not anti-Dumbledore, either. (Agnostic-Dumbledore??)
Since I'm not of the anti-Dumbledore persuasion, I decided to poke around in the tags and see what the arguments were, so I don't make comments out of ignorance.
Most of the tag seems to be more directed towards his treatment of Harry and Sirius, but a few people mentioned that Dumbledore should have treated Tom with ‘exceptional kindness’ and tried to ‘rehabilitate’ him.
As I said in Parts 2 and 3, I am 100% in favor of helping a traumatized kid learn to cope, and I don’t think Tom Riddle was solidly on the Path to Evil (TM) at birth, or even at eleven. Not even at fifteen.
Could unconditional love and kindness have helped Tom Riddle enough for the rise of Lord Voldemort to never happen? Possibly, but...
Yes, I'm about to drag up that Carl Jung quote, again.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
The problem with this is that if you’re going to blame Dumbledore for this, you also have to blame every other adult in Tom’s life: his headmaster, Dippet, his Head of House, Slughorn, his ‘caretakers’ at the orphanage, Mrs. Cole and Martha, and possibly more. In fact, if we're going to blame any adult, let's blame Merope for r*ping and abusing Tom Riddle Senior, and having a kid she wasn't intending to take care of.
Furthermore, you cannot possibly hold anyone but Tom accountable for the murders he committed. (I should not have to sit here and explain why cold-blooded murder is wrong.) And if you like Tom Riddle's character, insinuating that his actions are completely at the whim of others is just a bit condescending towards him. He's not an automaton or a marionette, he's a very intelligent human being with a functioning brain, and at sixteen is fully capable of moral reasoning and critical analysis.
I've heard the theories about Dumbledore setting the Potters up to die, and I'm not going to discuss their validity right now; but he didn't put a wand in Tom's hand and force him to kill anyone. Tom did it all of his own accord.
And while yes, I have enormous sympathy for what happened to Tom as a child, at some point, he decided to murder Myrtle Warren, and that is where I lose my sympathy. Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to inflict harm on others. Yes, Tom was failed, but then, he spectacularly failed himself.
We also have no idea how Dumbledore treated Tom as a student.
In the movies, it’s Dumbledore who tells Tom he has to go back to the orphanage, but in the books, it’s Dippet. We know that Slughorn spent a lot of time around Tom at Slug Club and such, yet I don’t really see people clamoring for his head.
I regard the sentiment that Dumbledore turned Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort with a lot of skepticism.
But let's hear from the character himself -- his impression of eleven-year-old Tom Riddle.
“Did I know that I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?” said Dumbledore. “No, I had no idea that he was to grow up to be what he is. However, I was certainly intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts intending to keep an eye upon him, something I should have done in any case, given that he was alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others’ sake as much as his."
Now, assuming that Dumbledore's telling the truth, I'm not seeing something glaringly wrong with this. No, he hasn't pigeonholed Tom as evil, yes, I'd be intrigued, too, and it's a very good idea to keep an eye on Tom, for his own sake.
“At Hogwarts,” Dumbledore went on, “we teach you not only to use magic, but to control it. You have — inadvertently, I am sure — been using your powers in a way that is neither taught nor tolerated at our school."
Again, it seems like he's at least somewhat sympathetic towards Tom, and is willing to at least give him a chance.
More evidence (again, assuming Dumbledore is a reliable narrator):
Harry: “Didn’t you tell them [the other professors], sir, what he’d been like when you met him at the orphanage?”
Dumbledore: “No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.”
Now, I think Dumbledore is pretty awful with kids, but I don't think that's malicious. Yeah, it's a flaw, but perfect people don't exist, and perfect characters are dead boring. I am not saying that he definitely handled Tom's case well, I'm just saying that there's little evidence that Dumbledore, however shaken and scandalized, wrote him off as 'evil snake boy.'
It's also worth taking into account that it's 1938, and the attitudes towards mental health back then.
Why is Tom looking at Dumbledore like that, anyway? Why is he so scared? What has he possibly been threatened with or heard whispers of?
"'Professor'?" repeated Riddle. He looked wary. "Is that like 'doctor'? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?"
"I don't believe you," said Riddle. "She wants me looked at, doesn't she? Tell the truth!"
"You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor,' yes, of course -- well, I'm not going, see? That old cat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!
Tom keeps insisting he's not mad until Dumbledore finally manages to calm him down.
I'm really upset this wasn't in the movie, because it's important context. Instead we got these throwaway cutscenes of some knick-knacks relating to the Cave he's got lying around, but I just would have preferred to see him freaking out like he does in the book.
There was extreme stigma and prejudice towards mental illness.
'Lunatic asylums,' as they were called in Tom's time, were terrible places. In the 1930s and 40s, he could look forward to being 'treated' with induced convulsions, via metrazol, insulin, electroshock, and malaria injections. And if he stuck around long enough, he could even look forward to a lobotomy!
So, if you think Dumbledore was judgmental towards Tom, imagine how flat-out prejudiced whatever doctors or 'experts' Mrs. Cole might have gotten in to 'look at him' must have been!
Moving on to the next few shots, he is sitting down and hunched over as if expecting punishment or at least some kind of bad news, Dumbledore is mostly out of the frame. He’s trapped visually, by Dumbledore on one side, and a wall on the other, because he’s still very much afraid. uncomfortable, as he tells Dumbledore a secret that he fears could get him committed to an asylum (which were fucking horrible places, as I said).
It brings to the scene that miserable sense of isolation and loneliness to that has defined Tom’s entire life up to that point (and, partially due to his own bad choices, continues to define it).
And, when Dumbledore accepts it, his posture changes. he becomes more confident and more at ease, as he describes the... utilities of his magical abilities.
"All sorts," breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to."
Riddle lifted his head. His face was transfigured: There was a wild happiness upon it, yet for some reason it did not make him better looking; on the contrary, his finely carved features seemed somehow rougher, his expression almost bestial.
I do think Harry, our narrator, is being a tad bit judgmental here. Magic is probably the only thing that brings Tom happiness in his grey, lonely world, and when I was Tom's age and being bullied, if I had magic powers, you'd better believe that I'd (a) be bloody ecstatic about it (b) use them. And, like Tom, I can't honestly say that I can't imagine getting a bit carried-away with it. Unfortunately, we can't all be as inherently good and kindhearted as Harry.
Reading HBP again, as a 'mature' person, it almost seems like the reader is being prompted to see Tom as evil just because he's got 'weird' facial expressions.
So... uh...
Nope, let's judge Tom on his actions, not looks of 'wild happiness.'
To his great surprise, however, Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner, and gave the wand a casual flick.
The wardrobe burst into flames.
Riddle jumped to his feet; Harry could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must be in there. But even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore, the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged.
Okay, one thing I dislike is Tom's lack of emotional affect when Dumbledore burned the wardrobe, in the books, he jumped up and started screaming, instead of looking passively (in shock, perhaps?) at the fire. Incidentally, I can't really tell if he's impressed or in shock, to be honest. I think they really tried to make Tom 'creepier' in the movie.
This is one of the incidents where Dumbledore's inability to deal with children crops up.
I think he was trying to teach Tom that magic can be dangerous, and he wouldn't like it to be used against him, but burning the wardrobe that contains everything he owns was a terrible move on Dumbledore's part. Tom already has very limited trust in other people, and now, he's not going to trust Dumbledore at all -- now, he's put Tom on the defensive/offensive for the rest of their interaction, and perhaps for the rest of their teacher-student relationship.
Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand. "Where can I get one of them?"
"Where do you buy spellbooks?" interrupted Riddle, who had taken the heavy money bag without thanking Dumbledore, and was now examining a fat gold Galleon.
But I'm not surprised Tom is 'greedy.' He's grown up in an environment where if he wants something, whether that's affection, food, money, toys, he's got to take it. There's no one looking after his needs specifically. I'm not surprised that he's a thief and a hoarder, and I don't think that counts as a moral failing necessarily, and more of a maladaptive way of seeking comfort. It would be bizarre if he came out of Wool's Orphanage a complete saint.
Additionally, I think given that the Gaunt family has a history of 'mental instability,' Tom is a sensitive child, and the trauma of growing up institutionalized and possibly being treated badly due to his magical abilities or personality disorder deeply affected him.
And there are points where it seems that Dumbledore is quick to judge Tom.
"He was already using magic against other people, to frighten, to punish, to control."
"Yes, indeed; a rare ability, and one supposedly connected with the Dark Arts, although as we know, there are Parselmouths among the great and the good too. In fact, his ability to speak to serpents did not make me nearly as uneasy as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy, and domination."
"I trust that you also noticed that Tom Riddle was already highly self-sufficient, secretive, and, apparently, friendless?..."
And while this is all empirically true, these are (a) a product of Tom's harsh environment, and (b) do not necessarily make him evil. But the point remains that child psych didn't exist as a field of its own, and psychology as a proper science was in its infancy, so I'd be shocked if Dumbledore was insightful about Tom's situation.
But I've gone a ton of paragraphs without citing anything, so I've got to rectify that.
Let's talk about Harry Harlow's monkey experiments in the 1950-70s.
If you're not a fan of animal research, since I know some people are uncomfortable with it, feel free to scroll past.
Here's the TL;DR: Children need to be hugged and shown affection too, not just fed and clothed, please don't leave babies to 'cry out' and ignore their needs because it's backwards and fucking inhumane. HUG AND COMFORT AND CODDLE CHILDREN AND SPOIL THEM WITH AFFECTION!
I will put more red writing when the section is over.
This is still an interesting experiment to have in mind while we explore the whole 'no one taught Tom Riddle how to love' thing and whether or not it's actually a good argument.
Andddd let's go all the way back to the initial 1958 experiment, featured in Harlow's paper, the Nature of Love. (If you're familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, him and Harlow actually collaborated for a time).
To give you an idea of our starting point, until Harlow's experiment, which happened twenty years after Dumbledore meets Tom for the first time, no one in science had really been interested in studying love and affection.
"Psychologists, at least psychologists who write textbooks, not only show no interest in the origin and development of love or affection, but they seem to be unaware of its very existence."
I'm going to link some videos of Harry Harlow showing the actual experiment, which animal rights activists would probably consider 'horrifying.' It's nothing gory or anything, but if you are particularly soft-hearted (and I do not mean that as an insult), be warned. It's mostly just baby monkeys being very upset and Harlow discussing it in a callous manner. Yes, today it would be considered unethical, but it's still incredibly important work and if you think you can handle it, I would recommend watching at least the first one to get an idea of how dramatic this effect is.
Dependency when frightened
The full experiment
The TL;DW:
This experiment was conducted with rhesus macaques; they're still used in psychology/neuroscience research when you want very human-like subjects, because they are very intelligent (unnervingly so, actually). I'd say that adult ones remind me of a three-year old child.
Harlow separated newborn monkeys from their mothers, and cared for their physical needs. They had ample nutrition, bedding, warmth, et cetera. However, the researchers noticed that the monkeys:
(a) were absolutely miserable. And not just that, but although all their physical needs were taken care of, they weren't surviving well past the first few days of life. (This has also been documented in human babies, and it's called failure to thrive and I'll talk about it a bit later).
(b) showed a strong attachment to the gauze pads used to cover the floor, and decided to investigate.
So, they decided to provide a surrogate 'mother.' Two, actually. Mother #1 was basically a heated fuzzy doll that was nice for the monkeys to cuddle with. Mother #2 was the same, but not fuzzy and made of wire. Both provided milk. The result? The monkeys spent all their time cuddling and feeding from the fuzzy 'mother.' Perhaps not surprising.
What Harlow decided next, is that one of the hallmarks being attached to your caregiver is seeking hugs and reassurance from them when frightened. So, when the monkeys were presented with something scary, they'd go straight to the cloth mother and ignore the wire one. Not only that, but when placed in an unfamiliar environment, if the cloth mother was present, the monkeys would be much calmer.
In a follow-up experiment, Harlow decided to see if there was some sort of sensitive period by introducing both 'mothers' to monkeys who had been raised in isolation for 250 days. Guess what?
The initial reaction of the monkeys to the alterations was one of extreme disturbance. All the infants screamed violently and made repeated attempts to escape the cage whenever the door was opened. They kept a maximum distance from the mother surrogates and exhibited a considerable amount of rocking and crouching behavior, indicative of emotionality.
Yikes. So, at first Harlow thought that they'd passed some kind of sensitive period for socialization. But after a day or two they calmed down and started chilling out with the cloth mother like the other monkeys did. But here's a weird thing:
That the control monkeys develop affection or love for the cloth mother when she is introduced into the cage at 250 days of age cannot be questioned. There is every reason to believe, however, that this interval of delay depresses the intensity of the affectional response below that of the infant monkeys that were surrogate-mothered from birth onward
All these things... attachment, affection, love, seeking comfort ... are mostly learned behaviours.
Over.
Orphanages, institutionalized childcare, and why affection is a need, not an extra.
His face is lit the exact same was as Coulson’s was in COS (half-light, half-dark), and I said I was going to talk about this in Part 3. I think perhaps it's intended to make Fiennes-Tiffin look more evil or menacing, but I'm going to quite deliberately misinterpret it.
Now, for some context, Dumbledore has just (kind of) burned his wardrobe, ratted out his stealing habit, and (in the books only, they really took a pair of scissors to this scene) told him he needs to go apologize and return everything and Dumbledore will know if he doesn't, and, well, Tom's not exactly a happy bugger about it.
But interestingly, in the books, this is when we start to see Tom's 'persona,' aka his mask, start to come into play. Whereas before, he was screaming, howling, and generally freaking out, here, he starts to hide his emotions -- in essence, obscure his true self under a shadow. So this scene is really the reverse of Coulson's in COS.
And perhaps I'm reading wayyy too much into this, but I can't help but notice that Coulson's hair is parted opposite to Fiennes-Tiffin's, and the opposite sides of their faces are shadowed, too.
Riddle threw Dumbledore a long, clear, calculating look. "Yes, I suppose so, sir," he said finally, in an expressionless voice.
Riddle did not look remotely abashed; he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last he said in a colorless voice, "Yes, sir."
Here's an article from The Atlantic on Romanian orphanages in the 1980s, when the dictator, Ceausescu, basically forced people to have as many children as possible and funnel them into institutionalized 'childcare', and it's absolutely heartbreaking.
There's not a whole lot of information out there on British orphanages in the 30s' and 40s', but given that people back then thought you just had to keep children on a strict schedule and feed them, it wouldn't have a whole lot better.
The only thing I've found is this, and it's not super promising.
The most important study informing the criteria for contemporary nosologies, was a study by Barbara Tizard and her colleagues of young children being raised in residential nurseries in London (Tizard, 1977). These nurseries had lower child to caregiver ratios than many previous studies of institutionalized children. Also, the children were raised in mixed aged groups and had adequate books and toys available. Nevertheless, caregivers were explicitly discouraged from forming attachments to the children in their care.
Here's a fairly recent paper that I think gives a good summary: Link
Here, they describe the responses to the Strange Situation test (which tests a child's attachment to their caregiver).
We found that 100% of the community sample received a score of “5,” indicating fully formed attachments, whereas only 3% of the infants living in institutions demonstrated fully formed attachments. The remaining 97% showed absent, incomplete, or odd and abnormal attachment behaviors.
Bowlby and Ainsworth, who did the initial study, thought that children would always attach to their caregivers, regardless of neglect or abuse. But some infants don't attach (discussed along with RAD in Part 2).
Here's a really good review paper on attachment disorders in currently or formerly institutionalized children : Link
Core features of RAD in young children include the absence of focused attachment behaviors directed towards a preferred caregiver, failure to seek and respond to comforting when distressed, reduced social and emotional reciprocity, and disturbances of emotion regulation, including reduced positive affect and unexplained fearfulness or irritability.
Which all sounds a lot like Tom in this scene. The paper also discusses neurological effects, like atypical EEG power distribution (aka brain waves), which can correlate with 'indiscriminate' behavior and poor inhibitory control; which makes sense for a kid who, oh, I don't know, hung another kid's rabbit because they were angry.
Furthermore...
...those children with more prolonged institutional rearing showed reduced amygdala discrimination and more indiscriminate behavior.
This again, makes a ton of sense for Tom's psychological profile, because the amygdala (which is part of the limbic system, which regulates emotions) plays a major role in fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression, especially with respect to learning, motivation and memory.
So, I agree completely that Tom needed a lot of help, especially given the fact that he spent eleven years in an orphanage (longer than the Bucharest study I was referring to), and Dumbledore wasn't exactly understanding of his situation, and probably didn't realise what a dramatic effect the orphanage had on Tom, and given the way he talks to Tom, probably treated him as if he were a kid who grew up in a healthy environment.
In case you are still unconvinced that hugging is that important, there's a famous 1944 study conducted on 40 newborn human infants to see what would happen if their physical needs (fed, bathed, diapers changed) were provided for with no affection. The study had to be stopped because half the babies died after four months. Affection leads to the production of hormones and boosts the immune system, which increases survival, and that is why we hug children and babies should not be in orphanages. They are supposed to be hugged, all the time. I can't find the citation right now, I'll add it later if I find it.
But I think it's vastly unrealistic to say that Dumbledore, who grew up during the Victorian Era, would have any grasp of this and I don't think he was actively malicious towards Tom.
Was Tom Riddle failed by institutional childcare? Absolutely.
Were the adults in his life oblivious to his situation? Probably.
Do the shitty things that happened to Tom excuse the murders he committed, and are they anyone's fault but his own? No. At the end of the day, Tom made all the wrong choices.
And, for what it's worth, I think (film) Dumbledore (although he expresses the same sentiment in more words in the books) wishes he could go back in time and have helped Tom.
"Draco. Years ago, I knew a boy, who made all the wrong choices. Please, let me help you."
#tom riddle#the many faces of#tom marvolo riddle#character analysis#character study#albus dumbledore
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"I miss him, y'know?"
Characters: ig!tommy, ig!tubbo, ig!ranboo (/p, best friends), ig!dream (/p, enemy), ig!awesamdude x ghosthybrid!reader
TW: Murder and it's kinda gory, blood, self isolation
A/N: WHY ARE THE ONLY IDEAS I GET SAD???
!SOME LANGUAGE!
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It's always been that little bit tougher for you since Tommy got sent to prison, and the fact that he was sharing a cell with Dream made it way harder than it needed to be. The house you built with him, Tubbo and Ranboo was constantly silent now, the house upon the hill you chose before any chaos begun. The view wasn't the same, it was an old city in ruins. The prison was the only sight out of the main window, so you constantly insisted to the boys the curtain stayed closed. You occasionally attempted to visit Tommy, but Sam would only say no. You always had to leave him a note, a note you would rant on, a note you wouldn't even know he ever got. That's why you never went there anymore, you knew the answer would always be the same, so you just wrote a note and sent it by post, or most the time, the boys would take it down for you. You couldn't even have it within your sights, let alone be there. You had nothing to do now Tommy was gone, nothing but mope around in your room all day, reminiscing on things you used to to together.
Sure, Tommy had been in the prison for a while, but this was the first time you never left the house, let alone your room, in just over a week. You would sit there all day just staring out of your window, which looked over the field you all used to spend your days in, only ever looking away to make some of your now rare appearances to the boys to get food, a drink or to go to the bathroom. The boys had enough, they needed to get you outside, and weren't taking no for an answer. They headed towards your room, Tubbo pushing the door open and leaning in, Ranboo hovering over him as he did so.
"Y/N?"
Tubbo asked, you turned around, smiling weakly towards them, but also feeling guilty for ditching them for the amount of time you did.
"Do you want to go out for a walk with us? We agreed that you needed it after you've been in the house for over a week."
You looked shocked, unaware of the time you'd been in your room, away from your best friends, time where you haven't sent a single note to Tommy. You broke down there and then.
"Woah, woah, you good?"
Ranboo asked as Tubbo rushed over to hug you. As much as Ranboo wished he could, all he was able to do was use words, as your tears would burn him, which you understood.
"I'm so so so sorry guys, I never realised how much time I isolated myself for. I'm so sorry."
You managed to get out between sobs as Tubbo hugged to tighter, Ranboo still not being able to hug you as well.
"Hey hey calm down, it's ok. You're with us now, and that's all that matters. Now get changed and we'll go out for a walk alright?"
Tubbo said, releasing from the hug and drying your eyes. You nodded as Ranboo came to hug you, now able to do it without burning, before they both left the room. It took a bit longer than usual for you to get ready, but you got ready none the less. You grabbed a few things like your sword and some food before ghosting through your door and meeting the boys at the front of the house, ready to leave. They smiled softly at you before you slipped on your shoes and left with them.
The views and nostalgia wasn't pretty for you, but aslong as you were with your 2 best friends, it didn't matter. You decided to relax for a bit on the bench. Everyone was silent until you sighed.
"I miss him, y'know. Yeah, he's just in prison and stuff, but I still miss him. The house just doesn't feel right without him."
The other boys hummed in agreement, listening to every word you said, as you unconsciously rambled on about Tommy. You sat in silence for a bit after that, you looking over your now destroyed home, but being able to see the ghosts of everything, the complete buildings, the ghosts of your past selves being teenagers and having the time of your lifes. It wasn't long before you felt something on your forearm. You rolled up your sleeve, and threw your hand up towards your mouth on the brim of tears as you read what it said.
"TommyInnit WAS SLAIN BY Dream"
"No, theres- no..."
The boys looked confused, before seeing your forearm.
"That green bastard, I'll punch his teeth in."
You said as you stood up and grabbed your sword.
"Y/N no. He's too strong, he's not worth it."
Ranboo said concerned as he grabbed your wrist to stop you. You pulled it out of his grasp before jumping off the small cliff infront of you, thankfully not taking any damage due to your hybrid abilities. You could hear the boys calling out and running after you, but you didn't stop. You ran as quickly as you could towards the prison, ghosting through the walls before you were met with Sam.
"Oh, Y/N! Are you ok?"
Sam asked. You looked at him deadass in response before showing him your forearm. He stood in shock, but also knew what you were going to do. As you tried to run forward, he grabbed you by your arms, holding you back.
"Sam! Let go of me!"
You shouted angrily at him. When he wouldn't let go, you just ghosted through him and all the security and ran straight through the lava, knowing it wouldn't damage you, before being confronted by the worst scene you could ever imagine. Tommy's dead body, bedding out in the corner, Dream in the opposite corner, knuckled dripping with blood. Tommy's blood.
"You sick son of a bitch! Why did you do that?"
You questioned. Dream just sent you a smirk, before shrugging like nothing ever happened.
"I took your first 2 lives. Im not afraid to take your last."
You said as you shoved him down into the corner he was standing in, tip of your sword right by his heart. You knew enough to know that it would instantly kill him as soon as you out more force on it. Dream still had that smirk on his face.
"Was his fault really. Y'know, he was always just using you three. Never really liked any of you. That what he told me."
You had enough of this. He was trying to be manipulative with you. He knew if you fell for it he could save his own life. That's not what you wanted.
"Come on kid, join me instead, it'll be better for you. No need to say no."
You pretended to think about it for a second, before saying
"Suck it, green boy."
And you put more pressure on your sword, plunging it through him, and kept it there before you felt the similar tingle on your arm.
"DREAM was slain by Y/N"
You pulled the sword out of his chest, and held it by your side, suddenly turning your head towards Tommy's dead body, making sure anyone that walked in could see what you did to Dream, and you were the one who did it. You zoned out, remembering everything Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo did together. Tubbo and Ranboo. How would they feel about what you just did? How about Tommy? You were still zoned out as the lava started dropping down, Sam, Tubbo and Ranboo on the other side. They were all in shock of the scene before them. You were in front of Dreams body, sword dripping with his blood, looking at Tommy.
"Y-Y/N?"
You snapped back to reality, and whipped your head around. Oh no.
"R-ranboo, Sam, T-tubbo, I'm sorry, I had to, he killed him, I had to."
You stumbles on your sentences, as they all looked at you shocked. Sam was just frozen in place, the 3 of you noticed that, so the boys took the opportunity to reach in, grab you and get out of there. Everything was very different now.
It had been roughly a week since the prison events, and alot of people either hated you, or liked you, there was no inbetween. You thought everyone would leave you, but Ranboo and Tubbo stuck by your side the entire time. You visited Tommy's grave weekly, and left all his possessions alone. That was until the boys went out, and you felt lonely, so you went to go sit in Tommy's room.
"T-tommy?"
There was a ghost of the boy you once we're best friends with, sitting in the bed.
"Tommy? Oh, right, you're Y/N, right? My best friend from when I was alive? Sorry, I go by GhostInnit now."
You didn't care, you were just happy you could see him, and instantly jumped into him for a hug. You didn't know if it was your hybrid abilities that could make you see him, or if he was visible to everyone in general, but that didn't matter. You were just happy he was there.
-------------------------------------------------------
A/N: podiddlyboingodawidaho
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This is my first post on tumblr and it’s from my Wattpad so enjoy!! If you wanna follow me on Wattpad the user is sophiac0864
Our Little Secret- Riley Green
summary- reader and riley green recently just announced their engagement after hiding the fact that they were dating for 3 years. There's just one thing. reader is pregnant and they decide to keep it secret. reader is a country singer. she performs on the CMA awards and has to reveal that she's pregnant. y/hs- your home state y/ht- your home town
—
I stared at myself in the mirror. I had a long black dress on and my hair was curled to my shoulders.
"You ready to go?" I looked behind me to see my fiancé in a suit. This was the one rare occasion that he actually wore one.
"You look pretty good." I said complimenting him.
"I'm nominated for an award tonight. I had to look good. You look beautiful by the way."
"I had to look beautiful. I'm nominated for an award. And I'm preforming." I said mocking him. He gave me a quick kiss before we both got into his truck.
"Riley, you know our little secret isn't gonna be a secret anymore right?"
"I know. You know it's kinda your fault." I laughed and gave him a look.
"Why is it my fault!"
"Because your performing. If you weren't performing then we could've stayed at home and if we won an award we could've just sent in a video." He said with a smirk.
"Your an ass hole."
—
We drove from our hotel room to where the awards were being held.
"Here we go." Riley grabbed my hand and we walked the red carpet where the paparazzi and the reporters were.
A reporter came up to us.
"Here we have Y/n Y/ln and Riley Green. Looking fabulous guys." I smiled at her and the camera as it took a picture.
"I just wanted to say congratulations on your engagement and your pregnancy?" She asked. I nodded.
"Congratulations. I'm sure you both will be great parents!" We smiled and kept walking until we were in the actual building and in our seats. Needless to say we were stopped multiple times beforehand.
—
An hour later one of he bodyguards came and escorted me to the back of the stage to get ready to perform with one of my best friends. Gabby Barrett.
"Please welcome to the stage Gabby Barrett!"
She walked out and I heard the music start playing.
"He's a phone call to his parents
He's a Bible by the bed
He's the t-shirt that I'm wearin'
He's the song stuck in my head
He's solid and he's steady
Like the Allegheny runs
He knows just where he's goin'
And he's proud of where he's from!
One of the good ones
He's one of the good ones!"
After making sure my earpiece and microphone were working I walked out. Gabby smiled at me but then her face turned into a shocked expression.
"A love me like he should one
Like he wrote the book one
The kind you find when you don't even look one
Anybody can be good once
But he's good all the time
He's one of the good ones
And he's all mine
He's one of the good ones." I began singing my own verse.
"You'll know him when you see him
By the way he looks at me
You'd say he hung the moon
I'd say he hung the galaxy
Nobody does it better
Oh, the way he pulls me in
I've known a couple bad ones
But they all led me to him." Gabby sang making her voice sound louder.
"He's one of the good ones
A love me like he should one
Like he wrote the book one
The kind you find when you don't even look one
Anybody can be good once
But he's good all the time
He's one of the good ones
And he's all mine
He's one of the good ones
We should all find us one
They're out there, minus one
Some of the good ones
Yeah, I got a good one." We finally sang together.
"A love me like he should one
Like he wrote the book one." Gabby sang softly leading into my part.
"The kind you find when you don't even look
Anybody can be good once
But he's good all the time." I sang before going into the last few lyrics with Gabby.
"But he's good all the time
He's one of the good ones
And he's all mine
He's one of the good ones
And he's all mine."
The music stopped and I went over to give her a hug.
"Congrats." She whispered in my ear.
—
10 minutes later the award that both Riley and I were nominated for was getting presented. Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley were the ones presenting.
"The nominees for best collaboration are- Jesus And Wranglers by Riley Green featuring Y/n Y/ln, half of my hometown by Kelsea Ballerini featuring Kenny Chesney, One Too Many by Keith Urban featuring P!nk, Famous Friends by Chris Young featuring Kane Brown, Undivided by Tim McGraw featuring Tyler Hubbard, and Only Thing Thats Gone by Morgan Wallen featuring Chris Stapleton." Carrie said reading the names out.
"And the winner is... Jesus and Wranglers by Riley Green featuring Y/n Y/ln!" Carrie and Brad read out together. I gave Riley a quick kiss before we both got up to go to the stage.
"Congratulations!" Carrie said giving me a hug.
"For the baby and the award. And the engagement."
"Thank you."
They left leaving us on the stage together.
"What can I say? This is my first award and I could not be more proud of not only myself but also Riley. You know coming from y/ht in the middle of basically nowhere in the good old state of y/hs I was always told I wouldn't make it anywhere in the world as a female who wanted to be part of the music industry. So I'm dedicating this award to all the ass holes who said I couldn't do it!" I said before letting Riley take the microphone.
"I can't believe I'm standing here by myself yet alone next to the person who I love the most in this world. I can't thank the fans more than enough. We love y'all so much! Thank you for this amazing opportunity to do not only what I love but what we love. Thank y'all!"
—
Hours later I was sitting on the couch in the hotel scrolling through Instagram.
"Ry come here!" I yelled out. He walked out of the bathroom.
"What's up?"
I showed him my phone that showed the news story and paparazzi pics with the headline "Y/n Y/ln and Riley Green surprise fans with pregnancy announcement right after they announced their engagement."
"Guess our little secret isn't so secret anymore."
"Guess not."
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Viability.
Dick Gr.ay.son x Lyell ( s/i )
GIF CREDIT: x
WARNINGS: titans season 3 spoilers, mentions of death and loss, angst.
WORD COUNT: 1192
AUTHOR'S NOTES: wrote this after today's episode because it has me feeling™. this takes place before dick travels into the woods and goes through with his plan to lure in Jason, which he omits mentioning, for obvious reasons. not sure how good this is but I wanted to post it since I am rarely commit to and finish fics this fast.
----
"Where are you going?"
Dick had swiftly grabbed his car keys off the entryway table, and made a b-line for the door, only stopping dead in his tracks upon hearing the other's voice. He looked back quickly, and seeing Lyell stood there with expectant eyes, he relaxed, his gaze turning softer.
"Nowhere you need to worry about." He assured them. Lyell had inquired only with a innocent curiosity, but was met with a hardened expression that made the smile on their face fade a little. Dick may not have been the most expressive person (though admittedly, in their eyes at least, he had been opening up a bit more these days; wearing his heart on his sleeve more, even if only slightly moreso than before). But they knew when their boyfriend's head was somewhere else. They could practically feel the tension he had built around himself , despite not even knowing what had brought him into this mindset in the first place.
"Hey," their words suddenly went gentle as they walked over to him, eyes laced with concern. " You doing okay? "
Dick knew if he looked into them his tough exterior would be rendered useless, and in a last ditch effort to hide his true intentions, he averted his eyes elsewhere, anywhere but at theirs. He had plans he was set on, after what Jason did, not just to Hank, but to Dawn and Conner, to all of them, to his family -- he wanted to take down Red Hood, once and for all. Even if his means weren't exactly safe, or legal. They were impulsive, but he wasn't about to say that to Lyell.
After all, that was their brother. Though they had danced around talking about it with him, he knew they still held some sort of care for the former titan. He could remember the sickness they expressed when they had found out Jason was Red Hood, that Jason was not only alive, but trigger happy at that, having turned on them and killed innocents in what seemed like unwarranted yet elaborate attacks. And the horror in their eyes when Hank advocated for killing Jason (before he could cause anymore harm) was vivid in his mind. No doubt now, after the death of Hank at Jason's hand, was Lyell feeling an internal confliction. One that, despite everything, they did their best to suffer through alone.
Hypocritical, maybe. But, after what Bruce put him though, it was a coping mechanism that Dick could fully sympathize with.
"I'm fine," he settled on as an answer. "But I might be gone a while."
Lyell furrowed their eyebrows. Even now, in a private moment with the person he felt understood him most, he chose to close himself off from them. This wasn't an answer that was uncommon for them to receive from him. But, after what they'd been through together up until this point, and all the times they opened up to him, it felt like this time ... it hurt a little more.
"Is it that bad?" Lyell asked. Their way their voice faltered felt almost as they had given up stopping him already. "At least let me go with you."
"I'm out of options. I dont have any other choice." Dick spoke his words carefully in hopes it would calm their nerves. But knowing Lyell, they'd worry about him regardless if he wasn't right there with them. "You should stay here, keep an eye on Gar and Conner. Make sure they're doing okay after what happened. But I dont want you getting hurt at my expense. I can take care of myself just fine on my own."
It was a dangerous plan that came to him after Barbara had called him earlier that day; at a vulnerable moment, after having to part ways with Dawn, a close friend who had stuck with him, no matter how many times he had given her a reason not to. Though Barbara had also asked him how he was doing, he had dismissed her just the same. What was important now was doing what he hadn't let Hank do -- apprehend Jason before its too late. Or, in this case, it already was too late.
"Just because you can doesn't mean you have to," they wanted to say so badly, but the words felt thick in their chest, unable to come out. Deep down they knew once he had his mind set, there was no persuading him.
Feeling no other choice, Lyell pushed themselves into Dick's chest, wrapping their arms around him in a tight hug. They clinged to him as if he would vanish the moment he walked out of that door.
"Just ... don't do anything stupid while you're gone ... okay?"
There was a moment of surprise that quickly turned into adoration. It was only for a moment; but as Dick returned the gesture and held them close, he felt understood. Trusted. They didn't attempt to stop him, regardless of their worries, despite the many times he had disappeared on them before. Letting himself melt into their hold, even if only for a second, he pressed his lips to their temple in a ghost of a kiss.
"of course not." he whispered.
Their embrace lasted only seconds before the moment fleeted. Dick slowly let go of them. Lyell lingered a moment, hesitant to let go, but eventually did. They kept their gaze low; They didn't want to look at him, because they were afraid to confront that maybe that would be the last time they'd ever get to. After all, they weren't stupid. They knew whatever he was putting himself up against, it had to do with Jason. And they knew what their brother was capable of. It wouldn't be the first time he tore someone close to them away without leaving them even as much as a goodbye. But they trusted Dick; They've invested their whole heart in him with the belief that he would do his best not to break it.
But boy, how they already began to miss the warmth, the safety, and the certainty of holding onto him.
" Lyell ... "
Dick felt like he should say something. But before he could, Lyell turned away, disappearing down the long hallway without giving him a second look. Before their emotions could get the best of them and spill into his view.
There was a moment of reconsideration, but it didn't last. Dick decided against going after them. Instead, he watched them leave with solemnity. In the end, he didn't want to involve them in such a risk. He didn't even know if he was going to bring Jason back alive. Or if this would backfire and he wouldn't return himself. He knew well, if he got the chance, Jason would kill him immediately. And it was better him than Lyell -- he had already suffered so much loss of so many close to him for his age. He couldn't lose them. He couldn't lose Lyell.
But Dick wasn't going to waste any time overthinking it.
He was going to stop Red Hood once and for all.
----
#lyell ? posting fics ? what timeline is this#ok to rb!#my writing#long post tw#[sh] : i know the devil you've been fighting with ; i swear i'll never let you down again 🦇
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