Bruce: *has the batkids lined up* Who did it?
Tim: If this is about Damian's toothbrush, it was Jason's idea.
Dick: You found it!? Stephanie you said he wouldn't find it!
Damian: What did you do with my toothbrush, Drake. WHAT DID YOU DO???
Tim: *laughs*
Stephanie: He couldn't have!
Cass: *blinks*
Jason: I live for chaos.
Bruce: I was asking who drank the last of the milk and left an empty carton.
The batkids: ...
Duke: It was me.
218 notes
·
View notes
Too much color? Maybe but oh well…
Anyways Dick and B
29 notes
·
View notes
Should I Make this a fanfic?
(Casimir is my OC)
Freezing Casimir saw the plaque, something that was supposed to be a memorial for someone. Something that was supposed to hold meaning, a deep and heartfelt meaning. A Good Soldier, it read. A good fucking solider! Before Bruce could even say anything Cas drove a quick right hook to Bruce’s face followed by kneeing him in the stomach. “Is that what you think of them!” He yelled with rage filled eyes. “Were they only good enough to be soldiers to you! You bring them to your home with the promise of family, just to turn them into soldiers! Into fucking soldiers! Is that why you never told me? I was just never good enough to be a soldier for you!”
Bruce coughed as he finally spoke “It was not that. I was just honoring my son-” “Your son?” Casimir cried outraged by what Bruce was saying. “Where the hell were you when Jason needed help with his math homework huh? When he needed reassurance that he was not a bother at all. Were you there to tell him that he didn’t need to worry about food? That he could eat as much as he wanted? That there was still enough for the next day for him to eat. Where were you to reassure him that he can ask for things without being expected to give anything in return?” He began to step closer to Bruce, annoyance painted on his face. “You were nowhere to be found! I was the one who helped him. I was the one who would read to him when the nightmare became too much. I was the one who made sure that his injuries were treated, I was the one who bought him clothes that he felt comfortable in! I was the one that made sure he was eating when he needed to be! I was the one who helped! I was more of a father than you were. He is my son Bruce! Mine! Because I was always there for him no matter how fucking busy I was! No matter how tired, stressed or even scared I was, I was always there for him! While you would just hide away in your office or in your stupid bat costume!”
20 notes
·
View notes
Batman Full Circle #1 (1991) by DC Comics
Written by Mike W Barr, drawn by Alan Davis and Mark Farmer.
20 notes
·
View notes
I get heart palpitations every time I see it
15 notes
·
View notes
I’m like 99% sure the Gotham Elite’s social customs are fucked up because Autism-in-Human-Form Bruce Wayne was just so fucking tired of high society’s weird and incomprehensible (and frankly ableist) social etiquette that he went full Virgin Mary About-to-Invent-a-Major-World-Religion, said “oh haven’t you heard?” and just started making his own random social rules. Like who’s going to stop him? The other elites? The dinosaur CEO’s? He’s richer. He hosts the better parties. He could tank your business in a weekend. So when he says “Weird passive aggressive fork language is out. Having a different utensil for every different food texture is in,” you use a different utensil for every food texture. Now when foreign elites visit Gotham, they have to learn a completely new set of social customs to fit in. It’s like a cult, but the cult is run by the most influential man in the world and Gotham’s personal Jesus. The followers are more likely than not mafia bosses named after a bird. You will be judged. There’s a test. Yes, you do get brownie points for being nice to the servers. For the love of god, stop making so much eye contact. The cloth napkins are folded into little ducks. Welcome to Gotham.
4K notes
·
View notes
idk if someone has already made this post but. imagine gotham upholding bruce wayne as an example of "you can have a tragic backstory and not start doing weird superhero/villain crap" and he just has to Deal with it
7K notes
·
View notes
A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 45 (Masterlist)
(Part 46)
@bruciemilf it’s been months bestie but it’s tradition
If you follow me on my main, you know I haven’t actually been gone. I’ve just been on a few side quests. I’m also being fought over by two companies rn so that’s fun (and completely stressful, please I’m just a 22yo teenage girl) but we’re BACK for a limited time! Idk I’ve got like at least five parts in my drafts so let’s see what happens.
TOODLES
3K notes
·
View notes
I wanna make DC comic short series about Gothamites who are just regular ass people.
Real estate agent trying DESPERATELY to sell a house to some people who aren’t from Gotham while Joker is laughing and setting bombs just outside and she’s pretending everything is fine.
A Batburger employee who always gets stuck with the graveyard shifts and that is, unfortunately the perfect time to get a few of Batman’s rogues, his family, or the Dark Knight himself, sometimes all on the same night and at the same time.
Principal who comes to the horrifying realization that they’re gonna have to change the school year to all year due to how many ‘days off’ from citywide threats they’ve taken
The lady who petsits Hailey sometimes and doesn’t even bother to question why NIGHTWING is the guy picking her up
Is there a maintenance guy for the Bat signal?? There should be. I think that should be a thing. Maybe sometimes Cass just sits there ominously while he works and he has long since stopped questioning it
Construction worker lady who regularly points where rogues try to hide when they’re running down the streets to The Signal. Theyre best buddies
3K notes
·
View notes
3K notes
·
View notes
Every service worker in Gotham knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman because those are their only two customers who pay for a $2 coffee with $100 bills and say keep the change
3K notes
·
View notes
bruce forces the batkids to go to his charity balls and he gives them suits and dresses for it- but he accidentally switches tim and Stephanie's outfits.
*Jason, Dick, and Duke huddled together looking at Tim and Stephanie walk into the ballroom*
Jason: They didn't.
Dick: They wouldn't
Duke: They did.
Stephanie: *wearing a black and red tux*
Tim: *holding her arm while wearing a bright purple dress, with heels*
Bruce: *sighs in tired dad*
7K notes
·
View notes
I think there should be more fics about Gothamites talking back to the bats - specifically Batman
“Get inside” “you’re not my dad”
“Stop trying to fight the joker, PLEASE” “fuck you, I do what I want”
“The streets aren’t safe tonight” “bro it’s Thursday, one of chillest days. Please shut the fuck up about telling me about gotham like I wasn’t born here thanks”
8K notes
·
View notes
Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!
Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.
So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.
What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.
I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:
"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"
"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"
"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"
"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"
And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.
Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.
Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.
Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.
Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)
Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.
Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.
Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.
And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.
God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.
8K notes
·
View notes
A waffle house employee
But not just any waffle house employee, one who works in Gotham City.
Them vs the joker, who's winning?
2K notes
·
View notes