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quandaryqueen · 1 year

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Do you have any ideas on being a Nygmapott kid? Like I love those two dweebs so much. Like it would chaotic as fuck to be raised by them but the fits you would show up with on picture day would be immaculate and what kid doesn’t need a knife in their school supplies?

You are my dads, you're my dads! Boogie woogie woogie!

Parents NygmaCobblepot X Child Reader

Yes, I have ideas 😍 I love this concept so so much we need more of it here in this hellsite omg familial/platonic fics have a special place in my heart 💝 also I'm adding some big brother Martin! Thank you for the request!

💚 Let's start with our family dynamic:

Edward is the fretting mama hen. Remember that one episode where he reminded Jimbo and Bullock not to forget to wear rubber-soled boots? Yes, that is your dad. He's the one who carries snacks, a first aid kit, sewing kit, fire starters, anything his curious little dove needs for nourishment.

You tripped?

"Oh you poor dear! Are you alright? Let's get you up, upsy-daisy! There we go! Hmm... Does the scrape hurt? Here, let's patch you up."

Skipping meals? Oh you are never doing that especially in his vicinity.

"Dinner's rea-- what do you mean you just ate? Look at you! I insist, come here. I made you your favourite!"

Of course, the go-to person to help you with school work.

"Yes, my dove? Pythagorean theorem? Why of course I'll help you!"

An absolute delight, a touch too protective at times and would mope if you don't give him attention and will become passive aggressive because of it, bit clingy at times as well. With his intelligence, he expects you aspire to be at the same level as he is and it's okay if you don't achieve that feat. Huh, he sounds like an Asian mother.

🖤 Oswald is a bit more laid-back. Well, more laid-back compared to Edward, that is. He knows that as Penguin, myriads of enemies had pinned him and Edward at the top of hitlists, his relation with you would be put in jeopardy, therefore this brings out his streak of overprotective nature... He puts you up for extensive amounts of self-defence trainings, handling of weapons and of course, given you bodyguards. Now bodyguards is a bit extra, but your father insists.

"Little dove, I'm going to need you to take your uncle Zsasz with you in this school trip. No it's not 'too much', it's just an extra precaution. Now I also need you to take the pocket knife your dad gave you just in case and keep it hidden, because your school is a bit dramatic."

Other than that, he is more laid-back. He trusts you can take care of yourself and reassures you if ever you need help, he and your dad are always there for you and would give you anything you need.

"You need three tubs of acid? I'll lend you some funds to use and buy yourselves protective gears too. Make sure you have your older brother with you."

Oswald is the father who often sits down with his children to tell them stories and life stories, introducing figures from his past that made him as he is now (your grandmother Gertrude, of course), lessons, advice and the like as a family pass time. He feels as though the most valuable thing he can pass to his children are his stories and how it shaped him, hoping they can pave their own stories, walk their paths with their head held up high no matter the obstacles, bounce back from disasters and whatnot.

He is one of those parents who thinks their children are absolute angels.

"My dove can do no wrong! They're a sweet little cherub, they couldn't have pushed that little brat of yours for no good reason!"

And he will throw hands to those who disagree.

🤍 Big brother Martin is a sassy lad who is begrudgingly being dragged anywhere if ever his demon of a little sibling has some murderous plans to fulfil. Sneaky little thing and a smooth liar with ingénue eyes, no one would ever suspect him of staying up until midnight to bury a body with you.

"Fine, but you owe me dessert for three weeks."

As siblings, there's the tendancy to be playfully hostile to one another and that is something you both have-- such as flipping each other off when parents aren't looking, or childishly sticking tongues out, being sarcastic to one another, annoying and inconveniencing the other, etc etc but nothing will ever divide you.

"Hey dork. I'm heading out. You want something?"

💚 Edward is the "Does not want pets" kind of dad and will fight to the death to insist that pets are not needed in the household... Then after begrudgingly adopting a pet, he'll be found being an absolute sweetheart to the new addition to your family.

Each others confidant, because there are things you cannot tell your dad and father, lest they should ground you for life and your older brother Martin says not a word just so long you keep his secrets safe as well.

"Thanks for being attentive. I feel so much better."

Oh Oswald was the definitely the one that brought up the idea of buying a pet and did not stop standing his ground and doing whatever it takes to adopt a pet. If the Penguin is something, he is determined. His determination is extra strong if his children are in total agreement of having a pet.

🖤 Dad Edward and Father Oswald would be in total support of whatever their interests and hobbies their children are pursuing.

"Go ahead, little doves."

"Enjoy! Don't forget to eat your sandwiches!"

They can't promise they would always be there because let's be honest, as the Riddler and Penguin, they are most likely having the usual in and out of Arkham but goddamnit, they always make sure you're having the time of your life and aware of their support for you.

🤍 Ohohohooo, picture day would be immaculate indeed. See those two divas? What should happen if the said divas were to raise children of their own? Pass on their diva-ness, of course and with diva-ness, comes with highly eccentric, yet fashionable senses. Now expenses are not a problem for the two husband's because you know *cough* but anyways, they both give you immense amount of selections of clothes you could want and more.

Oh to pull up in picture day and pose for the camera, now there's a portrait of bad bitches right there. And family pictures are bomb of course especially when your dad is highly meticulous about props and lighting.

Martin is a little tense before cameras and has a hard time smiling for the camera in a way that he considers as more photogenic and he feels guilty for it because he thinks he is the one ruining the photos. Well you know that won't settle well with your dad and father, sending Martin reassurances. Because of that, most of his pictures are captured when he isn't looking and they turn out really well, as he was less tensed and more natural.

💚 Oh Oswald has his work desk decked with family pictures, framed and just something he smiles fondly at. Private office in your home that is, god hell will break loose if they were to use his children against him.

Edward is the type of dad with his kids photo in his wallet and will not hesitate to show them off in an appropriate setting because again, criminal life, use his kids against him yadda yadda.

In the living room of the Nygma-Cobblepot home, there is a massive painting of the family of four and Oswald is proud of it.

🖤 Teacher-parents conference are... Uh...

"Do you know why I have called you here, Mister and Mister Nygma-Cobblepot?" The teacher asks from across the desk.

"Is my little dove not doing well in school?" Oswald asks, leaning closer in worry.

"Well, I guess you could say that," the teacher says. Before Edward can comment upon that vague answer of her's, she continues. "Y/N had been causing trouble among their peers."

"Would you be more clear, Miss Martinez?" By this, Oswald's annoyance became more apparent. His child? They would never! Well, they do have the tendancy to-- that's not the point!

"Well, first they claimed to have accidentally spilled dangerous chemicals on their classmate during chemistry, something that was dismissed as just as that, an accident. Then, by the next period they were accused of pushing that said student in the flight of stair from the second floor, which they denied. Since there were no witnesses, no one was really sure but the student that fell was so sure."

... yeah, that's something their Y/N would do. That's what Edward thinks at least.

"Our Y/N wouldn't do such a thing! They're an absolute angel! Just the sweetest little creature!" Oswald had to be help down, as Edward fears that the more he leans forward, the closer he is to lunging across the table and strangle the teacher.

"Oswald, let's calm down and--"

"I AM CALM! I DEMAND Y/N TO BE CALLED HERE AND EXPLAIN THEMSELF! IF THEY WERE TO DO THOSE, THE REASON WOULD HAVE BEEN VALID!"

"Sir, with all due respect, regardless of what the reason may be it is still not appropriate for a child to push another child from the top of the stairs!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE--!"

🤍 Will you be allowed to follow after your dad and father's footsteps in a life of crime? Your parents are nothing but supportive but this life is something the deem to be a dangerous life to live, and so as much as they want you to be encouraged to do whatever your heart is set into, they will still make sure that aspects of yourself suit this life.

He knows that you know that this life truly is... Something. But he and Edward made sure your childhood was nothing but happy. Sure there was a touch of premature exposure to violence, but you turned out fine! But I digress.

Martin doesn't fully follow after Edward and Oswald, but he does some errands for them from time to time such as father incriminating photographs, blackmail materials, disposing of evidence and whatnot.

"Next time, let's lay out newspapers to make cleaning easier, okay?"

💚 If you want to become a hero? Oh boy. Oh no that won't settle well, they'd begrudgingly accept and support you... Though a bit heartbroken because of course, they would be fighting against their child if it ever came to it.

"Don't just stand there, shoot the bat! And just the bat!"

🖤 As for the family business, asking if you can take over the Iceberg Lounge oh Oswald will be more than happy! It is less dangerous than the crime life he is living and it would be the perfect opportunity to bestow you a sentimental piece! Of course he will let you take over, he believes in you!

"Oh my little dove, this will be exciting! Allow me to teach you some basics!"

🤍 Just a fun family in general. A bit eccentric, but they stick together 💝

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