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tonya-the-chicken · 3 years

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I’m not going to change your views but it does feel a bit dismissive when you say it wasn’t that bad because he had rich parents who neglected him but hey they got a maid for him and he probably wasn’t outcasted or bullied so hey it’s not that bad right 🤷‍♀️! I don’t know he definitely didn’t have the worse out of the villains but I don’t know it felt a bit dismissive is all. Although we need to all remember these are fictional characters so have no idea why the other anon needed to get so aggressive! Also the person in the notes I don’t know how to say it but uh the whole the Todoroki’s had a rich father they didn’t have to work a day in their life take is not a good look. Just because someone has parents with money it doesn’t derail the fact that neglect can cause trauma.

Anyways for the real reason I sent this, you wonder why Dabi is so insane. Well take into account the neglect alongside the fact that he burnt to near death up on that hill alone at the age of what 13? That’s got to be extra traumatising, especially for a child that was already not mentally ok. We also don’t know what his circumstances were like after that fire, like was he homeless? Or picked up by someone nefarious? Kind of like AFO(not him exactly but someone nasty) who maybe fed on his brewing anger and hate instead of positive healing. I’m sure we will find out at some point? I don’t think it was just what happened in the Todoroki household or the fire that broke his mind? There had to be other factors after the fire after his “death”!

[[WARNING!!! I love Dabi as a character but I am not a woobifier so if you are too much into him don't read!!!! No complaints taken, y'all will be blocked for being rude I am too old to deal with people unable to interact with me in good faith (anon it's not for you, you are good and I can't understand your point of view I am just not as good as a person and too old for that shit)]]

I don't think I will change my mind either but I feel like the belief that every trauma is equally bad is just... Simply wrong. Like, we can legit compare this stuff and how badly it affects our brain, what do y'all think psychologists research 🤷‍♀️ Like, your therapist won't tell you this because it's not their job to make you understand you not the centre of the Earth (and it won't help because it is a legit trauma response that is very valid but is annoying you're fucking 25 yo). And to say that, neglectful parenthood is probably the worst parenthood style, as far as I know XD I wrote coursework about this (neglectful bitches are having a lot of need to make us the biggest victims (the bitches is me))... It also feels really American to me? Like, are we going to pretend people who got to live in a nice house and were neglect somehow got it as bad as people living in poverty or warzones? Hello? Imagine telling some orphan "I know you have no parents but actually, my trauma of my father not spending enough time with me is just as severe as yours". Bruh couldn't be me sorry... Like, even taking into account the fact that we can have weaker or stronger nervous systems or be more prone to depressive episodes *looks in the mirror and cries* I simply wouldn't find the guts to say my trauma is as severe as idk people who had physically abusive parents or no parents at all or who were disowned for being gay

And like **again** I am not saying that neglect is not traumatic I WAS NEGLECTED THIS IS TRAUMATIZING AS FUCK. I just am living in a country at war and with lots of discrimination problems and I like... Can't say I am the biggest victim. Sorry I can't though there were times when I was a lot more bitchy especially before being in therapy so I understand where you are coming from and I know what I am saying won't resonate with everyone (it's ok go on your own healing journey I believe in you) but this doesn't mean it is garbage and won't help me or someone else... I've already talked once about it but as a person, I am very easily irritated and envious and really not your local Jesus and partially my trauma turned me like this so being more humble about my sufferings helps me not be a complete bitch (believe me or not but people with traumas and mental illnesses are often insufferable *looks in the mirror* not me though I am perfect... BUT IT IS OK TO BE INSUFFERABLE OK??? like, bitch, that's normal. That's normal to stink when you are depressed it's ok to be a bitch when you are hurting. Forgive yourself because I forgive you (when you are not being an abusive asshole but if you apologize and explain yourself I will forgive that too)

The reason why I talk about the fact he is rich is that I've got a disease called leftism and I am a person of several marginalized identities and since this fandom LOVES looking at characters like real humans, I looked at Dabi this way. And if Dabi was a real human, I wouldn't sympathize with him one bit. I would fucking hate him for being the biggest entitled asshole who commits crimes for the reason his Daddy didn't give him attention. Bitch, my Dad didn't give me attention either! But somehow I don't kill people! And I don't even have money!!!! But like... I am not denying that neglectful parents are not a problem. It is. But he is overreacting, bro. He needs to humble down and recognize the fact he is a fucking idiot (he is). He has inherently so much more resources to recover and heal himself than I had... Yes, I am just being jealous at this point but honestly. Making an entire country suffer for you is not a good thing and y'all need to stop using trauma and mental illness as an excuse for people. No! Being abusive to people because of neglect is not valid, is overreacting and you had no reason to do that. I am dismissing your trauma because you are exaggerating it to make me sympathize with your asshole behaviour. I won't judge people with different sets of standards as I judge myself

I bet it would be dismissive and bad if I said it in conversation with someone who is currently struggling with mental health and is not a murderer. But guess what! I don't talk with humans and my friends the same way I talk on my Tumblr about fictional characters 🤷‍♀️ Not to mention I don't have rich friends akabsksbxm

I think with Dabi there's this whole thing where we saw him at 14 (poor baby boy) and 24 (a grown-ass boy) and... Like, I am so sorry for 14 years old Touya not receiving the help he needs (bruh so relatable) but I am not gonna act like 24 years old bitch can't get his ass to a psychiatrist (extremely unrelatable and infuriating). We shouldn't apply the same standards to kids and adults. We can talk all day long about how society is bad and how our parents ruined us but at some points, you gotta take your life into your own hands and do something and be an adult. And it's fucking hard when you're born with a shitty brain that was fucked up by your parents even more in a society where no one gives a fuck but I sincerely don't know another way to live. You will feel bad and want to die but you either keep on recovering or keep on getting worse and at this point getting worse is Dabi's *choice* That's how I live, that's my framework and I am, of course, extremely fortunate in a lot of ways but I just don't know how are you supposed to survive without the notion that grown people are responsible for themselves and their mental health. We can't act like adults are babies

But as a character, Dabi is fucking hot ngl. Like, do I sometimes want to murder my entire family, make them suffer AND commit terrorist attacks? We all do. Dabi is the dark fantasy of us neglectful bitches craving some attention. Gotta kill the president and tell everyone that my Dad sucks. Imagine the entire country hearing your Dad sucks? That's the juice, that's the dream. Trauma makes you vicious. I get the sentiment. Imagine all those fuckers who made you feel like shit pissing their pants and crying? Imagine your Mom being afraid of you the way you used to be afraid of her? People do have the desire for some violent justice but like... Think of bullied kids committing school shootings. But instead of a kid, it's a grown man who graduated school and who also have a rich father

Ok too much about irl stuff and philosophy shit. I know my way of talking is kinda brute so just know the way I treat people is different from that I treat fictional characters, in particular, I don't call real-life humans submissive and breedable... And stuff...

Damn Dabi is kinda good to project your hatred of your parents in bruh, I should write a fanfic about that (would be cathartic)

To the plotline, I am also very interested in what the hell happened with him after burning because... How the hell he wasn't found? I kind of DON'T want him to be groomed at this point because I feel like it won't be as cool as him just more naturally evolving into what he became. Like, surely, he is an asshole but consider this: as a villain, he is morally obligated to be an asshole

I feel like someone hiding him and Touya overstating the gruesomeness of his living conditions to the dude so he feels *bad* for him and hides him and feels sympathy and Touya gets attention but also begins to reassure himself in the fact his Dad needs to be punished... Idk it's a lot of mystery but I feel like more suffering won't deliver the point the way I want it... I mean it CAN be handled this way and initially I thought a lot about Dabi being brainwashed a bit or having his memories altered so it seems worse to him or even him being groomed or lied too but nowadays I am not into it. I mean I believe in Horikoshi and that he will handle him well 🛐

I talk a lot so I will summarize

If we judge him as a real human

14 yo Touya - DID NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE PROTECT HIM

24 yo Dabi - go fuck yourself bitch you older than me and act like a child and kill people, I couldn't care less about your trauma rich boy

If you want me to talk as his psychologist

Yeah, it is painful and sad, I understand him so much and surely, his trauma is valid as is his hatred but probably revenge won't bring him what he wants. And what he wants is love and attention. But he gotta make choices that will lead to his healing. He needs to *want* to heal. And we will step by step go to the healing because it is possible. He is loved and he is enough. AND YOU ALL MOTHERFUCKERS WILL HEAL I BELIEVE IN YOU BESTIES

Also his therapist (behind his back)

You won't believe it but my client is the most infantile attention whore I've ever met

But if we talk about him as a character... Very delicious soup

If you talk with your friends

Please, if your friends are being abusive to you or someone else don't even LET them say how their trauma made them this way. No. Nothing allows you to be an abuser. Call them out and stop them and make them talk to the therapist. Like, surely, there are extreme situations like severe mental illnesses or extreme neglect where we should be more forgiving but babying adults won't do you any good and won't make them recover

Yeah, I guess this is what I forgot to say. When I say "it wasn't that bad" what I mean is that I would be more forgiving to people who had it worse. It's more of a personal measure where I can tolerate stuff from people who had particular traumas or from those who suffered greatly (it's not my place to be a bitch here). I can forgive 14 years old or a poor person for stealing stuff but not the 25-year-old man who got no need for money and is not a kleptomaniac. I would be more forgiving to Shigaraki than to Dabi because Shigaraki was groomed a whole lot. Same for Toga, who is not even an adult or Twice who is a poor orphan. But that doesn't mean I would forgive them completely. All of them are shitty people. It's just that they had fewer resources and possibilities to not be what they became while Dabi had more but he acts like he is extremely hurt and the biggest victim which is like... There will be people like this in your life, please, don't make friends with them, they WILL abuse you

I talked a lot damn. It's adhd I can't shut up

#asks #bnha #bnha manga spoilers #todoroki touya #bnha dabi #killing people is a legit coping mechanism #I mean I possibly do sound dismissive I am very brute in my talking but I really can't be bothered #all I am saying that I am not dismissing neglect what I am dismissing is the idea that is is bad enough to justify Dabi's reaction #neglect was bad Dabi's reaction is disproportionate though #you. don't get to kill people because your Dad didn't love you #you do get to kill people if those people killed your family #just so you understand #I got tired of talking

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backdraft-bimbo · 3 years

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tfatws 1x01 thoughts

Okay I already love it. This show has a very strong start–good exposition of the characters, the aftermath of the Blip, and the introductions of the antagonist force.

I’m super impressed at how “movie-like” it is visually and the unique tone is carrying on real well. I ended the episode being like, “I need more. That cannot be it.” It went by really fast.

First off, I can feel how different this show is gonna be from other Marvel content. Without even saying it directly, but by watching how the plot progresses and the politics and character interactions, it’s clear this show is gonna hit some sore spots for America. I’m so on board for that–it finally feels less super-hero-y and more human. Real issues. Real PEOPLE.

Sam is clearly struggling with the mantle of Captain America, and he knows that other people would too if he took it, so he doesn’t step up. And you can’t blame him, clearly Rhodes doesn’t either. It’s a hard role to fill, especially since Cap was your stereotypical strong white American hero. And anyone who’s not a complete ignoramus knows that there would be a lot of backlash and hate directed at Sam if he, a black man, replaced Steve Rogers. No matter how skilled and awesome for the role he is. Like literally just look at real life right now. This show announcing Sam Wilson as the new Cap juxtaposes the reaction by a portion of Americans in this show. Some people weren’t happy about it. Others loved it. It’s a mirror to our country’s long-standing flaws.

The whole segment with Sam’s sister and trying to get a loan made me so sad but like, it’s realistic. I’m glad we’re getting more good female characters in the Marvel universe, and their dynamic is really nice. I especially loved the ambience of the Wilson boat where Sam is standing there in silence, just staring off into the window with seagull noises in the background... it just felt really calming. There aren’t many quiet moments like that in action heavy Marvel films. It’s adding depth to the world. Also his nephews are so cute!

The scene where Sam is fighting mid air was so badass...bruh. Anthony Mackie CARRIES. I’m kinda overwhelmed at how much I know about Sam Wilson now just because of one episode. Shows that the tiny details really add a lot of depth and make them feel more real. Sam’s little “What’s up” made me giggle a lot. And the new air force dude, I’m a fan of him. He’s cute and I think he’ll be recurring.

Then there’s Bucky’s whole part of the episode, which I just gotta say broke my heart over again. He really is a compassionate guy who went through awful things and he’s just trying to find some peace, like he mentioned to his therapist. Which was such a strong scene, btw. I loved that. Also Sam has been texting him!! I’m so excited to see them interact and get that spicy dynamic we love, but alongside more serious moments where they open up to each other; letting down the walls Bucky has to confide in Sam, and Sam confiding in Bucky about his doubts in becoming Cap. I just really want them to bond. A lot. And hug. Pull throughhhh.

And Bucky with his notebook of peoples’ names that he needed to make amends (I think that’s what it was) was SO heartwrenching to see. You can feel him becoming more human as a character. No more Winter Soldier–we get Bucky Barnes now. You can just feel it in Sebastian’s performance how well he knows Bucky, and the guilt on his face when he interacts with that old Japanese guy was so tragic. It looked like he wanted to tell him he killed his son, but there’s that visible internal struggle of having to trust someone and knowing it won’t go well. I really really want to give him a hug.

But there was some humor sprinkled in this episode, which I appreciated. It didn’t feel forced though, more of like a Spiderman: Homecoming vibe where the humor is a lot more situational and how people would actually act.

Anyway I don’t want to wait another week. I have work tomorrow but if they released all the episodes at once I would 100 percent binge it all into the early morning. GO WATCH IT.

#spoilers #tfatws #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #1x01

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amphii-writes · 3 years

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How Nekoma And I would Interact Head cannons

Hey! this is just how I think I would interact with the team because I know myself better than I know you, the reader! so i’m sorry if these are a bit boring :,)

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence(?)

If anything i’d meet kenma through school, he’d be a seatmate of mine and id ask him about videogames and we’d hit it off right away

I feel like we’d have midnight convos about videogame lore and we’d gush about our favorite games to each other and bond over nerdy shit like pokemon

With this, Kuroo would absolutely know about my existence, and god he’d tease kenma about having a “girlfriend” rip kenma

With this, kenma would be tired of kuroo’s bullshit and just ask me if i could go to a practice so he could get kuroo to finally stfu and of course id go because i wanna support a homie

Kuroo would be confused because 1. I am out of kenma’s league and 2. How the fuck did he “bag” me?

This would cause kuroo to be absolutely idiotic towards be and he’d ask me if i need a chem tutor, no i dont but ty for being so kind. This would spark a fucking dellemia in him, im cute, im nice, what the f uc kckkk

With this, the other members would for sure notice their dumbass of a captain short-circuiting and me standing next to a cringing kenma and investigate

Lev gives me the Im-gonna-run-full-force-and-tackle-hug-you vibe so rip me :,)

Yaku and kenma would flip their shit and scream at lev because he just assulted me what the fuck dude

Man’d be like whoopsies i got excited :b

Inuoka would also be screaming cause it's inuoka, what else would he be doing, Fukunaga would be chillin, just staring at me like 0-0

Now this is where it gets good, yamamoto is late to practice by a little bit and he sees f e m a l e

MAN GOES APESHIT AND JUST “HOLY SHIT WE GET A HOT NEW MANAGER LIKE KARASUNO”

After training camp and everything i feel like the team would be comfortable enough with me to add me into their group chat

Kenma, yaku, and i would absolutely shit-talk everyone and have a mini groupchat where we send memes and talk about dumb shit together

I feel like the name would be like “Bruh moments” while the actual main group chat would be “Nekoma Nekonya” and that- that also pains me tbh

That group chat would be cursed as well, like any teenage group chat is but this one,,, for sure.

Kuroo would send cursed images and yaku would give him a therapists phone number and ask him if he wants to schedule an appointment after he sent a salad fingers meme

Inuoka def sends those like- fuckboy 🥶🥶🥶 cishet boy “I hate women but want pussy” memes and wears highlighter clothing i'm so sorry it hurts me too

I feel like as a reward i jokingly said i would wear a cat-girl maid outfit and these motherfuckers did a mini-fundraser for it and gOT ENOUGH FUCKING MONEY FOR IT

And the catcher is- that id wear it tO A FUCKING GAME AGAINST FUKURODANI

I would indeed cry out of embarrassment before the game but the team would for sure say i look cute as shit and they’d be right, a hoe can pull off some cat ears

I would cause half the team to short circuit

God,, i would walk around and the bells would jingle and im- god i hate that

One doesn’t simply just walk around during a fucking high-school volleyball game like that and not get attentioin

Bokuto would probably yell something about it too and that also brings me pain

Well because of this- nekoma won and asked if i could wear that to all their games

Finally got them to let me just wear the ears and tail so poggers

But here's the kicker, next match is against Nohebi

That means daisho and kuroo get to have their moment of absolute fucking beef

So I walked in, wearing cat ears and a tail. Daisho is newly single, you get where this is going.

I can just imAGINE HIM BEING ABSOLUTELY DUMBFOUNDED LIKE HUH??? WHY WOMEN WEARING CAT EARS??

Id be with my team and they’d ask me to do the neko pose and i would because i wanna make them excited for the game

dAISHO WOULD WITNESS THIS AND JUST HAVE A MELTDOWN

With this newfound hate and love for nekoma, he has a new objective: fuck the nekoma manager in the cat ears and tail

After the game he’d walk up to me and flirt and id just be so tired like dude,,, im in cat ears and chugging a monster please give me fucking mercy

But of course, Kuroo finds me in time to see him kabedon me, his precious neko manager?? Aha n o .

Fighting ensues and i have to break it up, i give daisho my number so he gets the fuck away from kuroo, and kuroo gets to see me do a new neko pose or whatever

Crisis averted

Well until daisho texts me anyways

Then its “Kenma,,, you gotta help me”

Poor kenma he doesnt wanna deal with that snake bastard

Probably just brushes me off lmfao

After that yaku decided to have me stick by him when they play nohebi because and i quote “YoUR GONNA GET KIDNAPPED BY THE FUCKING SNAKE MAN” and i dont wanna worry yaku

Daisho also has make a rumor about fucking me to his team and they believe it-

Awkward matches after that

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #nekoma

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muffintonic · 4 years

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MY CATU LIVEBLOG

I did it for the crossover, so I thought i’d do it for the new movie (Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe, for those unaware of the acronym)!

TLDR: 8/10 not canon, but surprisingly good nevertheless.

Good: character interactions, dialogue (hilarious), everyone was involved, nice use of Chekhov's guns, absolutely EPIC background music

Bad: off-model issues, animation kind of flash-esque at times, the color palette was more like MML than PnF (more saturated and oddly shaded with clashing colors), overly long gags/pacing problems, immersion-breaking/stereotypical sound effects sometimes, some OOC

Ahh, i've missed Candace's singing.

WAIT A SECOND, WHY DOES HER CHARACTER MODEL LOOK SO MEATY (her head shape is blobby, too)

Oh my god, the entire Hirano family a minute in....i'm living.

Hmmm, the pyramid sports thing was from "Thanks But No Thanks," which is a Season 4 episode. In that episode, Vanessa is dating Monty, which only happened after "Minor Monogram" in Season 3. We know that Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension takes place in July after "Candace Loses Her Head" (since Doof's Drill-inator from that episode is scene in ATSD), but also before or around "Great Balls of Water" (since it's July in that episode) and definitely before "This is Your Backstory" (2D!Doof's advice to Doof is referenced)/"Road to Danville" (Phineas' trust gesture is referenced)/"Fly on the Wall" (the summer song gets referenced). LONG STORY SHORT: if ATSD took place in July, when the fridge does CATU take place if we're considering it canon?

Seriously, her off-modelness is super distracting to me. It was fine that she essentially had a triangle silhouette because she also had stick limbs, but giving her realistically meaty limbs makes me question why the rest of her is shaped like that. Bad.

That is some EPIC opening music!

Okay, the weird shading on that clown is also super distracting. PnF's design aesthetic is light and bright....I wonder if the MML people worked on this movie or something (which would also explain Candace's odd meatiness).

Why are all the lines so thick????? It looks like one of those low-budget toonboom or whatever animations Disney posts to YouTube.

Hmmmmm, Doof did the "evenly matched" thing in "Doofapus," too.

OH MY GOD, THE SATURATED COLORS + DARKNESS + THICK LINES ARE SOOOOOOOOO UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Bwahahahahaha, that pause when Candace is like "Actually, yes, WTF is it now?" is hilarious.

I like the detail of how all the kids' bikes are lying there in the driveway.

I would've just grabbed Linda's head and turned it at that point, honestly.

Linda is telling Candace calmly that she's exhausted...WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE?!!!!

Candace learns by "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" that she can take a break from busting to the betterment of her mental health sometimes....and that's a Season 3 episode. WHEN. DOES. THIS. MOVIE. TAKE. PLACE.

Ahh, i've missed Baljeet and Buford's banter. #oldmarriedcouple

Phineas is like "Candace wasn't having fun this summer? D:" but, like, if this movie takes place in the middle....they sure as heck didn't acknowledge it for the entire rest of the summer. HRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T JUST RETROACTIVELY INSERT EVENTS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SERIES: WE KNOW HOW THE REST OF THE SUMMER/THEIR LIVES TURNED OUT.

Why is Perry's wrist communicator a square. It's a circle throughout the entire series.

Does Vanessa have a scooter license? Do you need a license to ride a scooter? She was complaining in "Vanessassary Roughness" that she was always riding on the back of Doof's scooter, so I assumed she didn't. We did learn in "Finding Mary McGuffin" that she knows how to drive/has her license in "This is Your Backstory," does that count?

WAIT, WHY IS VANESSA SO PINK???? SHE AND DOOF ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A DIFFERENT SHADE OF WHITE (more coffee-toned) FROM THE FLYNN-FLETCHERS. Goddang, I had always appreciated how even the white characters were all different shades from each other in PnF....what a letdown.

Mmmm, characters either willingly engage in diegetic music in this show ("Where's Pinky?"), or it's just an imagine spot/non-diegetic. "Why do I have a guitar?" is not something that should be said.

Hmmmmmmmm, Candace is faulting the universe.......in ATSD she's talking about the Mysterious Force.....HMMMMMMMMM.....

Sounds like that was what Vanessa used to stop her Evil Busting phase...nice. Also, i'm only ~7 minutes into this movie, but i've spent the last 30 minutes watching it.

Hey, astute observation! That's what I always say: Candace wants to bust her brothers both because their projects can get dangerous ("Happy Birthday Isabella"/"Picture This"/"The Great Indoors"/ATSD/etc), and because she feels overshadowed by them/that they can get away with more than her ("Gi-Ants"/"For Your Ice Only"/"Love at First Byte")!

OH MY GOD, SHE ACTUALLY SAID "...completely overshadowed by Phineas and Ferb?" HOLY VALIDATION BATMAN

Man, i've said it before about Vanessa's deconstruction of Doof's motivations in "Last Day of Summer," but she would make a great therapist or something. I hope she goes into Psychology in the future.

HMmmm, I do kind of wish it was with Stacy that she had this breakthrough with, considering how Stacy's been her best friend since they were 5 years old ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer")/she's only known Vanessa since "Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs to You!" somewhere in June. Like, I get that Vanessa is more in-tune with psychological stuff like this and it makes sense, but i’m just a Stacy fan at heart

Oooh, she's even saying "breakthrough" and "healing!"

UGLY SHADING/SATURATION YET AGAIN (did I mention that the D.E.I. scooter is also the wrong color from how we've seen it before? because it is)

Bwuh, "What Do it Do?" all over again.

Okay, seriously, it looks like the giant thing is floating...where's the shadow under it?? THERE IS NONE.

BRO, THERE HAD BETTER BE MORE STACY IN THIS MOVIE. DON'T TELL ME SHE JUST GETS A CAMEO AT THE BEGINNING.

What did they make her? I want to know!

Ooooh, Candace's hands are way too small in that window shot. The off-modelness is so distracting.

AUGH, PHINEAS HAS A BABY HAND, TOO.

Haha, I love it when debris falls in with Perry when he goes to his lair.

Bwahaha, he's so done with Monogram

They use landlines ("Sipping with the Enemy") and physical files...don't try to tell me that PnF takes place later than 2012 I won't hear it.

NICE FILE PHOTO, CANDY

Wait, they have a whole alert-protocol thing about a host family member getting kidnapped by aliens, but it says to send the assigned agent on the mission??? In "Undercover Carl" and "Bullseye!" Monogram specifically didn't want Perry to get involved (in ATSD Perry was acting on his own), so ????????? Is it because he's their best agent or what?????

Some stuff is missing from Phineas and Ferb's room (on the walls).

GALACTIC WEB???? My first thought was the Galactic Kids Next Door

Haha, oh, these kids. Love little moments like these.

Why do characters always play with a ball when in jail/trapped? 2D!Candace did it in ATSD, too.

Why is that CGI so conspicuous. PnF used CGI sometimes, and it didn't look like butt. We're in 2020, people.

BWAHAHA, Vanessa!!

Ooh, they're bringing back Space Adventure! Now, we know that after "Not Phineas and Ferb" in Season 2 they say they're over it, but also that 9 episodes later in "Nerds of a Feather," Phineas and Ferb go to a convention/dress up from it. WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE.

Hmmm, cutaway gags like I remember MML doing...still too Family Guy for my tastes, especially with it being overly long. (I'm also not pleased with how Baljeet's half-lidded eyes goes straight across instead of bending over the curvature of his eye like what PnF usually does....the straight thing is also Family Guy/South Park's style. This does not bode well.)

WHOA, OFF-MODEL BALJEET ALERT!!!!! WHY IS HE SHORTER THAN PHINEAS AND WHY IS HIS ARM BENDING LIKE THAT!!!!

Bruh, Phineas thinking it's dangerous and not asking his friends to go seems OOC. Where was this attitude in "Meapless to Seattle?" In "Night of the Living Pharmacists?" In ANY OTHER dangerous scenario?

I do like how the kids are getting to go with them this time after missing out on ATSD.

NORM?!!!!!!!!!!!

PBBBFFFT, WHY DO YOU THINK GIVING THEM BUFORD WOULD APPEASE THEM

Hey, yeah, they've never made mistakes like this! What's going on?

Okay, seriously, in ATSD and NOTLP the kids don't know who Doof is. WHEN. MOVIE. Also, Doof's lab interior does have the correct items in it, but they're colored + shaded weirdly.

DOOF IS A VIRGO?!! Okay, that tracks with him being incompatible with Sagittarius people from "Love at First Byte."

Mmmm, the animation is definitely more on the "low budget YouTube shorts" level. The way Doof moves....

Yeah, gotta stick to your brand, bwaha!

OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS NOT THE SAME CHICKEN-REPLACE INATOR FROM "What a Croc!" GET THE GODDANG COLORS RIGHT JEEZ DID THESE PEOPLE NOT LOOK AT A SINGLE MODEL SHEET BEFORE MAKING THIS MOVIE

Bwahahahahahahaha, I missed Buford and Isabella's banter (and Buford is right: they might need a canoe...or maybe that's just my over-preparedness talking)!

Again: "Undercover Carl"/"Bullseye!"

Ah, Buford.

Wait a second, they didn't even have an introduction scene between Doof and the kids like they did in ATSD. *insert thinking emoji here*

Meh, D.E.I.'s been blown up worse before (the "Ask a Foolish Question" time comes to mind)

DOOF YOU ARE THE ADULT SUPERVISION!!!! GAH!!

Wait, what are you talking about Candace? I don't remember a voice automated translator being a thing in the Flynn-Fletcher household. If this is a crack at Alexa/Google Home or whatever, THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN SHOWN TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE IN ALL OF THE EPISODES OF PNF

They could have done a fireman slide, I guess...though maybe the friction would've made that a bad idea.

Okay, is everyone going to get mind-wiped at the end of this or what? Candace didn't even know Vanessa's last name or where she lived in "It's No Picnic," and they definitely didn't seem friendly enough in NOTLP considering all of these interactions. I'm going to count up all the "WHEN MOVIE" comments i've made by the end of this liveblog, and if it's 10+ i'm just going to say the movie is non-canon/just an OVA. I am enjoying it more than the MML crossover so far, so that's good, though.

Haha, oh, Candace. See, this is why she and Stacy are BFFs: same braincell (AKA Stacy's "Elementary My Dear Stacy"/"Put That Putter Away" moments).

OH, CANDACE. XD

OH, SNAP!!!

Ugh, okay, the "WHEN MOVIE" doesn't even matter anymore. Officially non-canon due to irreconcilable timeline a la MML post-2016 reference.

Yay, Isabella showing off her skills again! People tend to forget that she's also smart.

Go, Perry!!

Oh my god, the "unsung hero" being technically sung....good stuff

Oh my god, Perry, nooooo!! Someone save him!

Wait, did Doof purposefully put that platypus-sized spacesuit on the ship for Perry?!! Awwwwwwwww!!

HAHA, BUFORD

Oh my god, Vanessa, noooo!!! D: I bet the pods were sent back to where they came from/Vanessa should've been in the Earth pod.

Goddang, good thing that planet's got breathable air (not that that ever really gets addressed in PnF, haha).

Ah, okay, it took her to the planet the aliens are from. Weird.

Wait, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, these aliens are weirdly humanoid!! What!! PnF was so good about that ("Out to Lauch"/"The Chronicles of Meap"/"Escape from Phineas Tower"/"Sci-Fi Pie Fly")!!

So they were sending out pods looking for a leader? Weird. Also, they already had Candace be the leader in "Gi-Ants"/"Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)."

Wait, they're doing show-tunes, and pretty much only people who are Evil in PnF do that ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer"/"The Klimpaloon Ultimatum"/most of Doof's songs). I bet they're going to sacrifice her because of a prophecy or something.

Okay, -1000 points for the Floss. I hate it so much. You know what you'd be flossing if you did that with real rope? POOP. GROSS. Bring back Baljeet dabbing if you're going to make a reference like that, dabbing is fun.

Okay, this song is officially going on for too long. I know the overly long gag thing is a Family Guy staple, too. U G H, leave that horribleness out of my wholesome cartoons, please. Goddang, the influence was even in WBB's movie, too (Panda's dead pose). The Horribleness Lovers are infiltrating the animation industry. (How do I know about the Horribleness if I don't watch Family Guy/South Park? From people making infoposts about how horrible they are + reading up on their wikias/watching YouTube analyses of them, of course. Knowledge is power, and you must know your enemy.)

Seriously, open the freaking door. All of these overly long gags are not only unfunny, they eat up the runtime. PnF has great pacing where it's not too fast (Wander Over Yonder was sometimes too fast), but spends enough time on the things that need it. Opening a door is not something that needs time, especially when it's following up an overly long song.

I bet they're going to extract the element from her or something.

I'M PARANOID, TOO

Wait, this lady (I didn't catch her name) seems to be their leader?? Is she abdicating?

So the aliens have a gender binary, too? Is that necessary? Would that be necessary?

Hmm, I know that Doof didn't realize how futile rotating the moon was in "The Doof Side of the Moon" and what a boat was in "Are You My Mummy?" but he tends to be smart about intricate science stuff. Like, the problem with his inators (he even says it himself in "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer") is that he executes them poorly, not that he's failing in other aspects. Like, is this is the same scientist that built a Re-Good inator solely from plane parts in "Where's Perry?"

That cutaway was not necessary.

BALJEET, NO. Also, is it in character for him to be so gung-ho about trying out this unprecedented maneuver? I know he does have a wild side, but it's not usually about science things/throwing things that require this much caution to the wind.

Wouldn't they pass out from the G-forces or whatever?

Wait, what was the point of that alien mammoth getting flung? I mean, I figured that was going to happen to their ship by the way it landed on the mushroom.

Haha, oh, Doof.

XDDDD Buford had better save the day, since he's the only one that doesn't register the ominous tone. If he doesn't that'd be such a waste of the gag.

Haha, Buford. Still my favorite kid. :')

Okay, I seriously can't hear anything this alien leader lady says. It's like she's whispering all her lines with a hoarse throat or half-mumbling parts of her sentences or something. I have my volume turned up, and it's not helping.

Gross. WAIT, ISN'T THAT LIKE WHAT THE CITIZENS OF THE CANDY KINGDOM DO FROM ADVENTURE TIME?

Wait, do they have a farming culture? They were doing something in a field right now.

Hmm, yeah, lots of non-humanoid alien species on this planet alone....did they NEED to make the kidnapper ones so humanoid?

Doof, you even said that there was no adult supervision earlier. XD Isabella's definitely more qualified to lead, considering she's a Fireside Girl Troop leader/her vast array of badges compared to Doof absolutely ruining the Tri-State Area in "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" and not knowing what leadership entails in "The Beak"/"Last Day of Summer."

Haha, yeah, see! Whip out those badges.

HAHAHAHA, Oh, Doof. I can see him facing front in the card's photo, ahhh, frontal Doof.

DOOF!!! XDD

Oh my god, he took her hat. She looks like she's starting to get pissed....you never want to get on Isabella's bad side. XDD (She knows hapkido/jujitsu from NOTLP)

Oh my god, this song is amazing.

See, songs are okay to be long if they're dynamic: lots of movement between locations, varying camera angles, engaging lyrics, moves the plot forward, etc. Now this is PnF!

Baljeet, please. XD

Oh my god, poor Doof. Yowch! I hope his leg's not broken. D: He's certainly dragging it around like it is.

HAHA, I love how he just calmly zaps it!!! Nice (and a good example of the experience thing he was talking about earlier).

That chicken looks uncomfortably realistic for PnF's style (we've seen Agent C in "Traffic Cam Caper" before and a rooster in "Cheer Up Candace").

They got the farmer's hair color wrong. Interesting that they brought him and his wife back, though!

What's with the sudden cartoony sound effects for Doof falling??????? Bad.

Hmm, the audience seems like they're being mind-controlled.

It can't be the first time ever, since she was a star in "Flop Starz"/"Run Away Runway"/"Lights, Candace, Action!"/"Unfair Science Fair Redxux (Another Story)"/"Gi-Ants."

For a hot second I thought she was going to ask Candace to marry her or join her family or something.

I bet Vanessa is going to tame that alien dragon! Also, I hope they realize she's not on earth soon.

I bet the gift they made Candace at the beginning is going to change her mind about living it up on the alien planet.

Oh my GOD, Candace has shown repeatedly that she loves and cares about her little brothers. WELP, GOOD THING THIS MOVIE AIN'T CANON.

Like, seriously, if this movie was canon, there's no way the boys would ever drop the "Candace is unhappy" thing for the rest of the summer.

HAHA, LIKE I SAID: ISABELLA IS TO BE FEARED. XD Also, wasn't it Candace's fault since she sent them away?

"While I love ominous patch-related threats more than anyone--" *AHEM* "Right, apart from Ferb" BOYS, PLEASE. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm getting flashbacks to Horde Prime inviting Glimmer to dinner. Also, I almost typed "Glitter" instead of Glimmer right now.

I bet she killed her brothers or had them mind-controlled or something.

Ooooooof, that's ominous.

Aw, Baljeet's so interested in joining Buford's gang.

Bwahaha, Doof looks so interested! I bet he's going to remember the stuff they're listing for later or something.

DID MONOGRAM JUST SAY DO NOT ENGAGE THE ALIENS BECAUSE OF AN INTER-GALACTIC TREATY?? IS THAT A LILO AND STITCH REFERENCE???? (probably not, but i've been getting into L&S again lately)

Meh, Buford and Baljeet survived being eaten by the worm from "One Good Turn." Those aliens will be fiiiiiiiiiiiiine. :P

Were those alien prisoners rebels or something? They have a hidden city, but they also seemed too scared to be rebels.

Oh my god, cubism.

Okay, so they're not rebels, per se, but they resist by....hiding and cowering. Sort of?

MMmmmyep, the show tunes tipped me off. So these guys got invaded by another alien species, huh? OOF, cordyceps vibes

So she needs Candace to be food for the spores or something?

Yep, she's using Candace as plant food.

Overly long gag again. :\\\\\\\\

Okay, so she didn't kill/mind-control them, but she did lock them up. I was right!

I don't know how their alien biology works, but humans can't eternally walk. Candace's legs would eventually get tired/become not able to move until the lactic acid she builds up wears off. She could also develop varicose veins or blood clots from all that standing. Bad move, aliens.

Yeah, Candace would never do something like that! Also, see: it was her fault they ended up on the prison shuttle, not Doof or Isabella's.

Bruh, the rest of the earth gang breathes CO2...did your scanners not pick up on that?

Oh my god, Candace, don't reveal information that could get earth invaded.

Wait, how was she keeping the mushroom alive before? Where did it come from?

Also, WHAT ABOUT VANESSA!!! SOMEONE SAVE VANESSA!!!

Wait, why was the alien lady holding onto the smaller alien's long moustache? Is he her pet?? CONFUSION

Ugh, they don't have to make every single thing a gag. PnF knew when to make moments real/dramatic. Grow a spine and live with the weight of emotional tension, movie.

ANOTHER OVERLY LONG GAG? No wonder this movie is so long.

Wait, is Shego the VA for the alien lady? The way she yelled sounded like Marlene, who has Shego's VA. I'm going to look this up later.

BWAHA, Vanessa hears the ominous tone, too!

I don't doubt that Doof will be able to cobble something together to get them back, but that honestly has nothing to do with "adulting" since Phineas and Ferb could probably do the same, and they're kids.

I absolutely love how Buford's still carrying that canoe everywhere.

YES!!! Haha, yes, Doof, Perry is your guardian angel (and emotional support animal). :')

I KNEW Vanessa was going to tame that dragon!!

Yeah, see, she never has that dragon again, so this movie is totally just an OVA.

OH MY GOD, PULLING A Chowder HERE, I SEE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Yeah, you can see how off-model/pink Vanessa is right here where she's standing next to Doof. She's supposed to have his brown-tinged coloring (just look at any other time she’s next to him--”Finding Mary McGuffin”/”Minor Monogram”/NOTLP/”Hail Doofania!”/”A Real Boy”/etc).

Bwahahahaha, chicken selfie

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. What would happen if they killed the chicken? Does it only switch with alive chickens?

BWEHEHEHEHEHE

Though I don't like the particular scare chord they used when Doof holds up the Axe inator--very stereotypical/they could've composed a new version, like how Candace's leitmotif is technically Ring Around the Rosie, but different.

Aww, why not, Vanessa? It's your best bet home! Although, I guess it would be awkward considering Perry's right there....

I need to see a photo of the Lieutenant Baljeet's talking about here, for....reasons.

See, Baljeet's recklessness in this movie seems more like something Buford-i'm going to randomly mess with this ("Fly on the Wall")-Van Stomm would do

In "Nerds of a Feather" Baljeet cosplays as a Space Adventure character, so....

"You made another boat?! What've I been lugging this one around for?!" NICE, BUFORD, BWAHA

Wait, how on earth did that work? Can hunks of metal just allow something to fly like that? I admit to not knowing how planes work, but at least those have, like, engines and whatever.

WAIT A SECOND, I SPY MISHTI IN THAT MCFREAKING STADIUM CROWD!!! WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE!!! SHE'S NOT A NORMAL FILLER BACKGROUND CHARACTER!!

Stacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if they meant to put her mom on the bleacher seat behind her, or if it's another Mishti case.

They spelled his name wrong: we saw in "Doof 101" that it's John P. Trystate (the elementary school is named after him)

Beh, nothing bad is ever supposed to happen to Roger, that's the whole point of his character. Bad.

Ah, Bujeet banter.

WHY IS ISABELLA'S ROBOT A CAT THING

They should've made something to kill the mushroom instead.

OH, JEREMY XD Wait, that didn't sound like Mitchel Musso.

Was he just making those weapons because it's his hobby? Stacy did suggest a compound bow as a gift for him in "Vanessassary Roughness," and there's a bow on the counter

Buford and Isabella banter!

I like the detail of Candace's hair being disheveled and her socks drooping after walking all this time

Aww, does she feel guilty? :(

She does. Again, this movie can't be canon, because they don't acknowledge what she's saying for the rest of the summer and this kind of breakdown would definitely leave a mark on her.

AHA, I knew that gift would come into play!

Aww, that's a cute mug! Also, good on Candace for not drinking coffee!

HMMM, OKAY, SO THE SIBLING HUG FROM "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted," WHICH WAS PERRY'S DREAM, IS ON THAT PROJECTION OF THEIR NICE MOMENTS. TOLD YA: NOT CANON.

Haha, nice @ the new gelatin memory. It aligns nicely with the various things Candace has done offscreen that Phineas and Ferb get a kick out of (getting her face caught in the dishwasher, getting tangled in the clothesline, etc)

The exploding thing is technically a step forward, but, again, the real issue is killing that mushroom. Also, are Doof and Co. still stuck??

"Why does that sound like her name?" "I dunno." BOYS

STACY...JEREMY...LARPING.....Aww, don't be ashamed, Jeremy! Candace does Ducky Momo cosplay, and she accepted your dance deficiency in "Nerdy Dancin'!" I have to say, I love it when Stacy and Jeremy are on the same side, since Candace was sidelining Stacy in favor of spending time with Jeremy for a while (to the point where "Canderemy" happened).

Mmm, I notice a trend in cartoons lately about applying psychology to things. Amphibia, SPOP, Steven Universe...it's nice to get kids used to the idea that introspection is healthy.

DID SHE JUST DIE

Okay, did they just...fly from another planet? The gang went beyond light speed to get back home....there's atmosphere issues....they didn't even bother to try and have them salvage the space suits from the inator even though characters in PnF can't survive in space/always have to wear a space suit (Doof even puffed up in "Out to Launch" when he stuck his head outside without a helmet on, and Perry made sure to put a helmet on him when he was going spaceward in "The Doof Side of the Moon")?

Oooh, okay, furthest chicken. Nice.

Aww, the dragon's shielding them! Reminds me of How to Train Your Dragon when Toothless was protecting Hiccup from the flames

WOW, that is an EPIC remix of Perry's theme music!!! Holy crud, there's not as much background music as usual in this movie, but the music that is there goes HARD.

Bwahaha, to quote Maui: "The chicken lives!"

Oh my god, Baljeet really likes petting zoos? Also, I guess the farmer's last name is McDonald??

Beverly Hills + Beverly Hills adjacent...why XD

The chicken still lives!!

Okay, so she's alive.

Ah, so that’s why the mammoth got flung.

Aw, I wish Jeremy and Stacy had had more of an action scene after gearing up.

Okay, see, this lesson she's learned? How if this movie was canon, none of the rest of the summer would have been possible? MMmmmmmmmyeah.

Wait, so the American police are just taking the aliens?? No special forces or anything?? They're ALIENS.

LAWRENCE, DON'T TOUCH THAT!!

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welp, it took me 5 hours to watch this 1 hr 24 min movie...wowza. I forgot to write it when they occurred, but I didn’t like that the alien lady’s blinking had a sound effect in that one scene or that they used the Wilhelm scream during the final battle. I do wish there’d been more Perry and Doof interactions + some more Stacy, but what we did get was good. There were some pacing problems (too much alien screentime), but the excellent interactions between the PnF gang made up for them. Also, I genuinely laughed at at least two handfuls of moments! Anyway: a good movie!! I'm shocked--i'm so picky, and I haven't liked anything since "Last Day of Summer!" I mean, it's definitely an OVA/not canon, but still!! Solid 8/10.

#phineas and ferb #pnf #pnf spoilers #Candace Against the Universe #CATU spoilers #mine

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kuroosweakness · 3 years

Note

Okok VIRTUAL HUGS! and late night thought dump again! -🐾

I should start writing notes on myself so I can remember stuff better

TMRW THERES ANOTHER JJK EPISODE!!

Why is it on every quiz I take, the main character likes me? Like I swear I’m perfect for itadori

BUT ALSO KUROO IL HIM SMMMM😍😍

Kuroo🥺 why do you not exist😔

Bruh how would his hair translate to the real world😳 it’s all fun and games till you see how bad his hair ACTUALLY is

Lmao it’s fine bc I still love him I guess🙄🙄

JKJK I DO I DO

I drew Kuroo and OH MY GOD I SUDDENLY NOW DESPISE HIS HAIR👺 but I also love it🥺🥺 like the first time I drew him😃 that was trash like wtf is that his hair- BUT THE SECOND TIME? I DID IT AND I WAS SO PROUD so I guess his hair isn’t that bad. Oh well, the more I draw him the easier it is I just don’t know where his hair falls from

Who should I draw next? Idk

I’m obsessed with jjk so for the first time I’m drawing everyone from jjk, I already drew Gojo, Megumi and Nobara

I wanna draw a Haikyuu character ^^ anyone who won’t give me a HARD TIME WITH THEIR STUPID HAIR👁👁 (yes I’m talking abt u Kuroo what u gonna do abt it?) ((*cries bc he’s fictional and isn’t here to fight me))

Tsukki’s hair is lowkey crusty like wtf is that😃

Tanaka is prob the easiest to draw since well, HE BALD😶

KUROO, STOP SLEEPING BETWEEN TWO PILLOWS IT IS NOT HELPING U

Ok but lowkey, (I’m kinda like a therapist but not but bc I act like one I dug so deep into this) I headcanon he sleeps between two pillows bc his parents used to fight all the time when he was younger and now he’s just so used to it I don’t think he can sleep if he stops🥺

I also think his a light sleeper when his ears aren’t covered LIKE THE TINIEST MOVEMENT COULD WAKE HIM UP😳😳 imagine getting out of the bed for a glass of water and he’s just asks you why you’re awake and you tell him your throat is dry so you want some water then he puts you back in bed and gets the glass for you🥺🥺 and the he gets back in bed and cuddles with you after you drink your water-

PLEASE I GOT INTO SO MUCH DETAIL🖐😭 I HOPE KUROO IS NOT A PHASE OMG BC I HAD PHASES BEFORE AND MOST LAST ONE YEAR

Nah I love him sm🥺 It’s prob not

Imma listen to yagami yato again for the 3rd time in a rOw

I SAW THIS ONE TIKTOK AND NO MY FEARS HAS COME TO LIFE LIKE SENPAPI GABE (idk if u know him he’s a popular anime tiktoker) TALKED ABT HOW TO GET GAME AND TALKED AB THE CHIBI CHAN THING I WAS TALKING ABT LAST TIME AAAAAAA-

hey hey! I honestly am getting rlly attached to you :) Ik I’m just a anon and I’m prob too shy to ever reveal myself (even though it’s probably the most obvious connection lmao) I enjoy sending you asks and seeing your reactions. >w<

writing notes on yourself is such a good idea! :)) except it might be bad for ur skin- u can carry around sticky notes!

jjk 😳 i saw a tiktok that reminded me that sk8 the infinity is coming out in a few days and jfdksajlsdkjf ugh, time to fall back into the anime hole (i haven’t watched animes other than haikyuu in a while :’)

i tried drawing kuroo’s hair and it looked like grass that haven’t been mowed in years.

hair is too hard to draw smh :’

*imagines playfights with kuroo* *cries*

i- RIGHT? tsukki’s hair looks kinda soft. tanaka, our king

WDYM, KUROO’S SLEEPING HABIT IS CUTE 🥺(it’s not helping him but it’s helping his s/o because they’ll be able to lay on his back at any time and he won’t be able to do anything about it. UNLESS HE PURPOSELY ROLLS TURN AND CRUSHES HIS S/O- he would.)

i- fjdkslakdjf your water scenario isn’t good for my heart. not me melting into a puddle of goo </3 i’m a light sleeper too- (see, this is another sign we’re compatible- >< )

i love ur details!! <3

omg i really don’t want him to be a phase. i’ve had phases too and they only last like a few weeks because i move on to other things like kdrama actors (*sighs in cha eunwoo*) and other anime characters- BUT THIS IS THE LONGEST I’VE EVER <33 i won’t be dating for the next couple of years because my mental health says no; gotta find ways to cope with loneliness :’)

I’VE SEEN HIS TIKTOKS BEFORE- but it’s been a while so i’m sorry babes i don’t really know what ur talking about :’D

i enjoy reading your asks 🥺come talk to me again soon! <3

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goddessofthundathighs · 4 years

Text

IX. PHILOPHOBIA

Suggested Listening/Songs Mentioned: Tadow x Masego; Body Party x Ciara

Word Count: 7.1K (Grab a snack, kids)

**************

Philophobia: (n). the fear of love or of becoming emotionally connected with another person

In the days following their confessions session, O’Shea and Erik finally committed to having a regular schedule that was conducive to both her therapy and their personal needs.

Mondays were used to discuss the previous week’s activities, whether or not they were successful, and to plan out new activities for the upcoming week. Those activities would then be implemented on Tuesday while Wednesday was a quiet day.

During the quiet day, Erik would see other patients, if any, or meet with Skylar to discuss upcoming research projects. Thursdays were used for mid-week check-ins. O’Shea would contact Erik if she wasn’t feeling like herself or if she felt like the particular week’s activity was a failure. They alternated Friday and Saturdays for personal time outside of the office. During this time, they would go on movie or dinner dates or just chill at each other’s houses, cuddling or playing video games.

Their relationship was flourishing at a healthy rate and while excited for her best friend, Skylar couldn’t help feeling a pang of jealousy.

Erik watched her intensely as she paced the floor of his office, convinced that she was about to create a completely new design.

“Are you gonna talk to me or are you gonna put a hole in my floor?”

She stopped and faced him, her eyes riddled with conflict.

“I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a bitter bitch,” she said, finally taking a seat in the chair across from him. It was Friday so she was dressed down in a black tank that read “Thug Life” in white Old English writing, camouflage cargo pants, and black gladiator sandals. Her curly mane haloed her face and big, gold bamboo earrings with her name in the middle adorned her ears.

“Girl stop all that and tell me what’s wrong so I can help fix it,” Erik fussed, coming around to sit on the corner of his desk in front of her.

“Well, I know I was the main one that wanted you two together, but now that it’s happening, I guess I’m a bit jealous. Not because you both are finally happy and in a healthy space to pursue a relationship, but because I want the same thing and right now. It’s hard.”

“Elaborate,” Erik said, removing his glasses so that their eyes met.

Sky sighed heavily before continuing, “Lately, I’ve found myself missing Monica. I mean, yeah, our relationship was toxic 80% of the time, but things were good when we were on good terms. She showered me with love and adoration and she was someone that I could call mine, even if it was only for a limited time. Occasional hookups are cool, but I miss being in love and the thought of pursuing something of that nature with Oya has me TERRIFIED,” she stomped, pushing his pen from the desk so that it rolled onto the floor.

“For the last time, would you calm down?” Erik’s voice was stern yet soft as he stared into her big doe eyes.

“I can’t help it, E,” she confessed looking up at him. “It’s quite obvious that Oya is interested, but I don’t know if I’m ready to go back down that road again. Not to mention, she wants a full-on domme/sub relationship. Monica and I only did a few scenes during our time together. I’m nobody’s domme.”

“You are,” he said frankly. “Your dick is bigger than mine most of the time, you just don’t seem to realize it. What are you afraid of?”

“Losing my license.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Liar.”

Skylar furrowed her brows, shooting him a glare that made him square his shoulders and glare right back.

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are; your bottom lip is trembling. Just say you’re afraid of giving your all to someone only to get your heart broken again.”

Sky hung her head in defeat. Erik was right and she knew it, but the truth wasn’t what she wanted to hear at the moment.

“This is just so unprofessional. I pride myself on not getting attached to my clients and here I am considering a relationship with this girl.” She sighed again, rubbing her temples as she felt the beginning symptoms of a migraine building.

Erik carefully took her chin between his thumb and index finger, lifting her head so that her eyes met his.

“I understand your apprehension, but you’ve gotta understand that everybody ain’t Monica.”

“I know, but that’s something I’m not ready to deal with yet. When she comes by the office, I’ll propose some things she can implement with her current partners before offering myself up.”

“Good luck with that, but if she’s as straightforward as you say she is, she’s only gonna tell you that nothing worked with her other partners just so she can have you. That’s how brats operate Dr. Greene. I should know; I’m an expert,” he replied with a sly smirk that made Sky chuckle before she could catch herself.

“You’re so fucking arrogant,” she frowned pushing his face away from hers.

“I’m not arrogant, I’m confident there’s a difference. Plus, it made you laugh so my job as Best Friend of the Year is done.”

“I swear you get on my nerves but thank you. This talk was much needed and it’s helped put some things into perspective. I’m gonna go work on a therapy plan for Ms. Ramirez.”

“Aight, let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Sky replied with a warm hug before walking out of his office and out to her car. As if on cue, her phone rang and Oya’s picture came into view. It was a candid taken when Oya wasn't paying her any mind.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Ramirez.”

“Good afternoon, Dr. Greene,” Oya’s voice called back in a soft and seductive tone. “I was wondering if I could drop by your office, I have some things I’d like to discuss with you.”

Skylar swallowed thickly before replying, “Yes, I have an open slot for 1:00. Does that work for you?”

“Oh yes, that’s perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“Welcome to Kinky Sky Sex Therapy and Toy Emporium,” O’Shea called to the stranger when the bell of the shop dinged.

Oya paused, thinking to herself how much of a mouthful that was before her mind thought of how much she’d like a mouthful of --

“Hello again. O’Shea, right?” Oya replied to the slender beauty behind the counter.

“Yes, and you’re Oya, right?” Oya nodded with a smile. “Nice to meet you again."

"I had a 1:00 appointment with Dr. Greene, is she here?”

“She is. If you walk back to that last shelf of toys, you’ll notice a staircase. Take those down to the basement and you’ll see her.”

“The basement?” Oya replied, more than a little apprehensive.

“I know it sounds creepy, but it’s not as bad as you think. I promise,” Shea said reassuringly.

Oya nodded before walking through the long shelves of toys and lubricants until she reached the top of the white slate staircase. What she thought would be a dark, terrifyingly creepy sight was the opposite.

The walls were painted white with black and pink accents and the floors were grey slatewood. The northern wall held the security setup while the wall behind the desk held a bookshelf and all of Skylar’s degrees. Skylar’s desk sat in the middle of the space. It was a glass top with gold legs and sat atop a white fur rug with matching fur chair with gold legs in front. Skylar was seated behind the desk typing at her iMac, her brows furrowed in concentration.

“Dr. Greene?”

Skylar jumped, causing a pen to roll off her desk as her eyes met Oya’s.

“Oh, hi Oya. I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s fine, I just made it down here. Que bueno!”

Oya looked around at the office briefly on her way to take a seat in front of Sky’s desk, shamelessly staring at the S necklace that rested in her cleavage.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Sky asked, closing the document she’d been working on.

“Well, I tried one of the methods you suggested when I went out with my sister the other night. The vabbing technique.”

“Oh?” Skylar asked, grabbing a pen from the cup on her desk. “And how did it go?”

“Pretty well actually. I met a girl and we hooked up and it was cool I guess, but...”

“But?”

“I may have accidentally moaned your name during sex.”

“Wait… You did what now?”

Oya merely smirked, unable to hide the way Skylar’s reaction was making her feel.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t stop thinking about you. Everything that she was doing to me made me wish it were you, so much so that I called her by your name. Like we were making out and things were getting heated and next thing I know instead of saying Celeste, I said Skylar.”

Skylar blinked for a few seconds before finally finding words to articulate her feelings.

“Oya, I’m your therapist. That’s extremely inappropriate.”

“Is it really? They're both sky-related names... Well, what about Surrogate Partner Therapy? Didn’t you receive funding to start experimenting with it?”

“Yes but--”

“So why don’t you let me be your first case.”

Skylar sighed in exasperation. If Oya was Erik, she would’ve cussed him out seeing as how he knew how much of a pet peeve it was for her to be interrupted. She instead chose to remain silent, intrigued to hear Oya’s point of view.

“Oya, it doesn’t work that way. SPT requires the use of someone else as the surrogate partner, not the therapist assigned to the client.”

“But what about Dr. Stevens? I could go back to being his client and he could start the process. It could be a joint project between the two of you.”

“You’ve really thought this out, huh?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll speak with Dr. Stevens and we’ll get back to you.”

Oya leaned over the desk, tucking a stray curl behind Skylar’s ear.

“Don’t keep me waiting too long, Dr. Greene.”

“Damn, lil mama was prepared, huh?”

Erik asked as he finished the last bite of his volcano sushi rolls with extra eel sauce that he was currently addicted to thanks to his favorite brat. His feet were propped up on his desk and he was reclined back in his office chair staring down into the iPad screen as Sky stared back.

“Bruh, I was shook. I’m sure she saw it on my face too. Like, I’m not used to anyone being this straightforward with me other than you. It’s different,” she said, speaking a mile per minute.

“So… the real question is what do you wanna do, doctor?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for a week and I’m still drawing a blank.”

It was true. Skylar had gone over every possible scenario of a relationship with Oya and each time she was met with a standstill. Half of her wanted to pursue a relationship to see how things would work, while the other half was still stuck on the board finding out and losing her license. Erik hated the pained look in her eyes. He could feel her heart as if it were in his own chest.

“You mean you’re too pussy to live life? Come on, Sky. Yes, losing your license is serious, but what are the odds of that really happening? We’re both extremely careful and go through the details of our reports with fine-toothed combs. On paper, everything looks legit and aside from our personal relationship, O’Shea is doing well, is she not?”

“She is.”

“Alright then, live a little. Let babygirl bring some spice into your boring ass, lonely ass life. Invite her to lunch and eat her pussy under the table.”

“Wow, fuck you,” Sky replied, watching as he started on a truffle salmon roll. “I haven’t done that since O’Shea. Besides, I’m a Louisiana native. I’m spicy enough.”

“I can’t tell with ya boring ass,” he teased, popping the rest of the roll into his mouth.

“Those look good, bring me some.”

“Nigga! It’s lunchtime in LA and your office is 15 minutes away. It’s gonna take me an hour to get to you.”

“O’Shea’s wearing those green leather pants you like,” Sky sang sweetly, smirking at the way he readjusted his slacks as he sat up.”

“I’m on my way,” was all he said before the FaceTime ended. Skylar chuckled softly before pulling up Oya’s contact information.

Though he was incredibly annoying, she knew Erik was right. She had been overthinking the entire situation and needed to let things flow. If for some reason things went sour and she lost her license, she still had a successful adult toy business and more than enough money saved up to live comfortably for the rest of her life if she chose to.

Taking a deep breath she pressed the call button and allowed the rest of her inhibitions to fly out of the window.

“Hello?” Oya’s sultry voice rang from the opposite end of the receiver.

“Oya, it’s Dr. Greene. I was wondering if we could meet for lunch, there are some things I wanted to discuss in regards to your request for Surrogate Partner Therapy.” Skylar smiled softly as Oya’s audible gasp tickled her ears.

“That would be great, but my schedule is pretty full today with dance classes. How about tomorrow for dinner?”

Dinner? Skylar hadn’t been on an actual dinner date in over a year, too far consumed with work to entertain anyone longer than a few quick hookups. The thought of getting all dolled up and having a night on the town with a beautiful woman on her arm made her smile incredibly wide.

“I could do dinner. Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to go?” She asked, rubbing her chin as Erik’s explicit suggestion crossed her mind. The smile in Oya’s tone was infectious.

“Have you ever had Barton G.?”

“Do a spin and let us see you,” Erik’s voice called from Skylar’s iPad that sat next to her vanity mirror.

For the last hour, she’d been modeling outfits for him and O’Shea, searching for the perfect show-stopping ensemble for dinner with Oya. When she finally completed the 360 turn, they both seemed to be enamored with the lavender two-piece skirt set she’d picked. She’d straightened her usually curly locs and chose to wear a matching duster and clear chunky heels to complete the look. Though she’d decided against a full face of makeup, she still filled in her brows, applied some mascara to her lashes and her favorite nude lipstick to her full lips.

“That’s the one,” O’Shea said with finality.

“I second that notion,” Erik nodded, causing Skylar to break into a wide grin. She was excited to see how the night would play out and even more excited to see where her relationship with Oya would stand after dinner.

“Alright, I’ll call you two with an update when I make it home tonight.”

“Don’t go home, get some pussy,” Erik called, pulling the perfectly pearled blunt from behind his ear.

“Bye Nigga!”

Across town, Oya stood in her floor-length mirror admiring the denim colored two-piece skirt set she wore. Her hair was slicked into a low bun around her neck rested a silver statement necklace. The top stopped just below her breasts and the draped skirt stopped just above her left knee creating a high-low illusion. Her freshly shaved legs peeked from the split in the center and silver strappy heels rested on her feet. Her makeup was neutral, simple lashes and a nude lip completing the overall look. She knew she looked good and was determined to have Skylar eating out the palm of her hands… and maybe her vagina by the end of dinner.

After one final once over, Oya was out the door and on her way to meet the future love of her life. The drive to Barton G was short and soon the two women were face to face, both in awe of the other’s outfit choice.

“You look stunning,” Oya called as she admired the way the lavender skirt clung to Sky’s hips and thighs.

“As do you,” Sky replied with a sweet smile. “I went ahead and put our names on the waitlist so it shouldn’t be much longer before our table is ready.”

“Perfect,” Oya replied, taking the empty seat beside her. As she took in Sky’s appearance again, the bag in her lap attracted her attention. It was lilac with an iridescent crocodile pattern and gold hardware.

“Is that a Hermès Birkin bag?”

“Yes ma’am. It was my first big purchase after I opened my shop and I adore it.”

“Of course you’re a label whore,” Oya replied with a playful smirk.

Sky rolled her eyes, returning Oya’s smile.

“Whatever. Excuse me for enjoying the finer things in life. I worked my ass off to get my shop and when the time came, I chose to treat myself to something nice.”

“Pretty expensive treat,” Oya mumbled.

“It’s true. I am indeed,” Sky retorted with a wide grin.

“Greene, party of 2,” the hostess called pulling Skylar and Oya from their heated conversation about designer fashion.

“I’m sorry, there’s just no way I’d spent $20-$40K on a bag,” Oya fussed, following the hostess to their designated table.

“But they’re beautiful bags, plus they increase in value 15% every year. It’s an investment if anything,” Sky reasoned.

“Be that as it may, I’m not dropping that kind of cash on a bag and I’ll be damned if my partner does.”

“To each her own, I guess,” Skylar shrugged. “But if I buy it, you’re gonna accept it.”

“Says who?” Oya countered with a raised eyebrow.

Skylar took the bait smoothly as she pulled Oya’s chair out, motioning for her to sit down.

“Ya Mama,” she replied with a wink causing Oya to flash her a devilish grin.

“I see you’re not playing fair tonight, Dr. Greene.”

“How is answering a question proposed to me not playing fair?”

“You know how. Don’t throw around such titles if you aren’t prepared to fulfill them,” Oya challenged.

“You’re absolutely right which brings me to why I wanted to meet with you. After speaking with Dr. Stevens, we both think that you’d be a good candidate for our SPT research. On paper, he will be your assigned therapist and I will be your surrogate partner.”

Sky glanced up to catch Oya watching her intensely as she explained.

“I will also be implementing Dr. Stevens’ 7-Day schedule which will be used to aid in both your therapy as well as personal needs. Out of the seven days, two of them will be quiet days in which we have zero communication with one another and you do not have to engage in whatever treatment method we have assigned for that week.”

Another glance up, and Oya’s stare was still just as intense as before.

“If this method looks to be successful, then I’ll start implementing more extracurricular activities in our time together, Is this something that you think you would be interested in?”

Oya’s grin grew wide at the thought of the introduction of BDSM elements. She was also pleased with the fact that Skylar had put so much thought into her treatment.

“I’m in, but on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“You spend the next two days with me, bonding, completely off the record. I want to see you in your natural state, and in these two days if you decide that a personal relationship isn’t what you want, then we’ll remain completely professional and well leave the extracurricular activities off the table.”

Skylar flinched, clearly taken aback by Oya’s change in tone.

“A-Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I want you to be completely comfortable with whatever this turns into and I don’t want you to feel forced simply because of how strong I came on to you. At the end of the day, you’re a doctor and you have a reputation to uphold and I don’t want you to lose what you built because of me.”

“T-That’s really sweet, Oya. No one has taken my feelings into consideration like that before other than Erik.”

“Listen, I know that Monica chick did a number on you emotionally, but all I’m asking for is just one chance to prove that I’m in a different class.”

“Fine, you can have your two days, but after that it’s back to business,” Sky said, attempting to regain her usual tough demeanor.

Oya caught on and smiled a sly smile.

“Yes Mama,” she said as the waitress came to take their orders.

The pair spent the remainder of dinner talking like old friends. Skylar learned that Oya was the youngest of four children and that all of her siblings were dancers and choreographers. Sky spoke of her fathers and how she and Erik came to become as successful as they were.

“So you don’t know your mom at all?” Oya asked, taking a sip of her Sabrina-tini.

“She died while giving birth to me. Papa Simon raised me by himself until I was two. That’s when Papa Ruben came along and the rest was history.”

“Did your parents influence your sexual preference?”

“Actually, no. I’ve had relationships with men in the past, but Erik was the one that made me realize that I wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship with a man. Then I met Monica and the rollercoaster began.”

“She was your first girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Why’d you guys break up if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Long story short, she was a seasonal gay and I got tired of being her escape.”

Oya nodded, having dealt with her share of toxic exes in the past.

“Well,” Oya said, raising her glass. “Here’s to new beginnings and lots of healing. May our days going forward be filled with joy and smiles and only tears of pure, unadulterated happiness.”

“Cheers,” Skylar said with a bright smile, unable to hide her excitement for what was to come.

“Pole dancing, huh? Kinky,” O’Shea said teasingly as she and Sky explored the extensive shoe closet on the second floor of Skylar’s condo. Oya had proposed the idea during their dinner the previous night, opting to do it on Sunday since her studio would be closed to her students.

“It’ll be fun, just you and I vibing to some dope music. I just may teach you a thing or two.”

Oya’s teasing tone was loud in Skylar’s ear as she combed through another wall of shoes. Oya had instructed her to bring a pair of heels because she would be getting on a pole, a statement that had Sky turning her nose up slightly.

“If my thick ass fall, I’m fighting her,” Sky fussed, holding up a pair of black, strappy Louboutins.

“And I’m gonna fight you if you think you wearing Louboutins to a pole dancing class. This is real life, not the movies. Besides, you need something with a platform to help maintain your balance,” O’Shea said, grabbing a pair of clear 6-inch heels with a pink sole and iridescent glitter platform bottoms. “These are perfect! Try them on!”

Sky grabbed the shoes from her and put them on, towering over Shea as she strutted back and forth in the closet.

“Great, now I just have to figure out what I’m wearing,” Sky replied staring at herself in the mirror. She was currently wearing a baby pink cross-back bralette and matching leggings.

“That looks good. Pole dancing is exercise, after all, so you want to be comfortable.”

Sky thought for a bit before nodding in agreeance.

“Alright, well let me get going. We agreed to meet at 4.”

“Alright, be safe and have fun!” O’Shea called, following Sky outside.

After sending a quick confirmation text, Skylar punched the address of the studio into her GPS and made her way downtown.

The studio was dimly lit with pink and purple lights. The front wall of the studio held five floor-length mirrors while the back wall was painted burnt orange. In all, ten poles stretched across the entire floor in two lines and two speakers occupied the upper corners above the mirrors.

“Right on time,” Oya’s voice called from somewhere above Sky’s head.

She craned her neck to see Oya swinging from an aerial hoop. She moved so gracefully and elegantly, each movement flowing in incredible precision. It looked so easy, but Sky knew better than to think such. She smiled as Oya carefully lowered herself to the floor and padded over to her, greeting her with a gentle hug.

“I’m so glad you agreed to this class. We’re gonna have so much fun,” Oya said with a bright smile. She led Sky to a spot in the back where she could put her bag down and change shoes before pulling her to the center of the room between the two rows of poles.

“First, we’re going to do some stretches. We need your body as loose and limber as possible that way you don’t hurt yourself while on the pole.” Sky made a face before joining Oya on the floor.

“I told O’Shea we were gonna fight if I fall off one of these poles,” Sky said with a chuckle before spreading her legs in a wide v shape, lowering her upper half to the floor.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Dr. Greene,” Oya replied with a smirk before copying Sky’s pose.

Sky bit her lip to contain her smile at the way Oya enunciated her name before speaking.

“This is off the record and we’re out of the office so you can just call me Sky or Skylar.”

“I prefer Sunshine if we’re being honest,” Oya said with a sweet smile that Sky couldn’t help but return.

“Okay, Sunshine it is.”

After they were all stretched out and warmed up, Oya began the lesson.

“The first thing we’re going to learn is a basic spin. The easiest one to do is the fireman spin, kinda like we used to do on the playground. I’ll demonstrate first and then explain it in detail.”

“I know how to do that,” Sky remarked with a sneer as she watched Oya spin around the bottom of the pole.

“Alright, then missy. Let’s see you do it,” Oya urged, clapping teasingly as Sky completed the spin.

“Okay, let’s do something a little more complicated. This next move is called the chair spin. It’s just like the fireman, but as you’re going around, I want you to lift your knees towards your chest and keep your feet elevated as you spin. Like this,” Oya explained before demonstrating. It took a few tries, but Sky finally got the hang of it and was ready to move onto the next spin.

“This third spin is called the back hook. You’re gonna grip the pole with your right hand, wrap your right leg around it and let the universe do its thing. As you’re going around, you’re gonna grip the pole near the bottom with your left hand,” Oya explains.

“Let the universe do its thing? You mean gravity because that shit sounds like I’m going to bust my ass and get a concussion. Now how exactly do you plan to explain that to my fathers? Me being concussed, I mean?” Sky asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Just try it, scaredy-cat. I promise I’m not gonna let you concuss yourself,” Oya giggled.

By the end of the 2-hour lesson, Sky could successfully do the back hook along with the climb, the seat, and carousel spin, which she deemed her personal favorite.

After a few sips of water, Skylar took a seat in one of the chairs along the wall and watched Oya dance. Mid-way through the class, she opted to sit her phone down on the floor in front of the mirrors to record a few videos to send to Erik and Shea once they were done. Since Oya was putting on a show, she decided to give her some music to vibe to. Soon, the mellow sounds of Tadow by Masego filled the studio. Oya’s limber body swayed effortlessly to the beat.

Oh oh I saw her and she hit me like (tadow) // Saw that thing so beautiful (tadow)

She just hit my heart, oh (tadow) // Full force and she got me like (tadow)

Sky closed her eyes, allowing the music to transport her to her happy place. Everything grew still and tranquil and she just existed freely with Oya, no distractions and no apprehension. Deep down she knew she wanted this woman, but couldn’t seem to shake that nagging, fearful voice in the back of her mind. She shook her head, not wanting to go down that road at the moment. She was content and happy right where she was and wanted to stay that way.

When she opened her eyes again, Oya was straddling her lap, rolling her hips sensually to Body Party by Ciara. Just as she was finding her groove, California Love by Tupac began blaring through the speakers, signaling an incoming call from Erik. Not wanting to disturb the beauty in her lab, she answered the call from her Apple Watch.

“Yes?” was all she said as she wrapped her arms around Oya’s waist.

“I knew it! Best friend getting booty! You owe me $50!” he yelled to O’Shea who was sitting next to him.

“Wait, you niggas bet on me?!” she exclaimed, moving Oya slightly to the right to stare down into the camera.

“It was a spur of the moment thing, but yes. I figured you’d take my advice, but I wasn’t expecting you to be getting booty in the studio.”

“Ain’t nobody getting booty,” Skylar fussed. “She’s only dancing.”

“I mean if you want some booty, that can be arranged,” Oya said with a smirk.

“Hush, ain’t nobody talking to you. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Yes Mama,” Oya teased, continuing her ministrations.

“Mama?!” Erik and O’Shea yelled in unison, sounding like Soulja Boy on his Breakfast Club interview. Oya giggled, looking back at Sky who was shaking her head at her best friend and employee’s antics.

“Move nigga! I wanna see too!” O’Shea fussed, snatching Erik’s phone from his hand. “Ooh, her ass fat,” Shea exclaimed, putting her whole face in the camera like a kid asking if you had games on your phone.

“You know what, bye!” Sky said, ending the call before returning her focus to Oya.

“How do you deal with them?”

“I ignore them most of the time if we’re being honest,” Sky said with a chuckle. “You know, you look really good in my lap,” Sky remarked as Oya slowed her motions.

“Really now? You tryna keep me here, Sunshine?”

“I just might, pretty girl,” Sky said, lifting her head slightly meeting Oya’s lips in a soft kiss. It was soft and slow, with a hint of tongue and a few lip bites. It felt right and when they were done, Sky was lightheaded. She bit her lip softly as Oya stared down at her, returning her heated gaze.

“Wanna go again?”

After another 3-4 hours dancing and making out, Skylar and Oya parted ways, making plans to visit Little Tokyo for their date the following day. Sky kept her promise to call Erik once she was finally home safely, making sure to tell him every tiny little detail that transpired after their FaceTime call abruptly ended.

“Finally! Bold Sky is making a comeback!”

“Oh my God, shut up!” Skylar exclaimed, hiding her face in her sherpa blanket to cover the fact that her face was as red as the soles of her Louboutins as if Erik could see her. “Her lips are super soft, though. I swear it felt like I was kissing a cloud.”

“I’m proud of you. So what did you guys decide on for her therapy?”

“Well, I’m gonna implement the 7-Day schedule that you have with O’Shea and if that works out then I’ll gradually introduce BDSM elements.”

Erik nodded, rubbing his chin occasionally.

“I like that and if you need some tips, let me know.”

“Will do, boss man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a nice long soak. We stretched out muscles I forgot I had.”

“Keep on, let her stretch some more shit out,” Erik teased, his wide grin evident in his tone.

“Goodbye, Dr. Nigga!” Sky screeched, hanging up in his face. She couldn’t help the wide grin that stretched across her face as she recalled the way Oya’s lips felt against hers or the way her body felt as they rolled against one another on the floor of the studio.

While she showered, she imagined what Oya’s other set lips tasted like, or how she would sound moaning her name as her tongue lapped up her essence until she came undone over and over again.

Before she knew it her fingers were inside her flower, plunging deeper and deeper until her back rested against her shower wall, a pool of her juices flowing down the drain. She bit her lip as she thought about the introduction of BDSM to their relationship. If the mere thought of Oya had her behaving this way, there’s no telling what would happen when the two were finally intimate, but she was eager to find out.

The bell on the door of the flower shop dinged, signaling the departure of the final patron of Nola Greene Florists, the flower shop Skylar’s fathers owned. Hibiscus flowers, Louisiana Irises, and Gardenias were just a few of assorted flowers that lined the different shelves of the shop, all blooming bright and filling the space with a heavenly scent. Ruben was in a corner tending to a row of hibiscuses when he glanced over at Simon who was sitting behind the counter going over inventory.

“Have you heard from your daughter?” Ruben asked as he plucked another dead leaf from the plant.

“We spoke for a bit the other night. She apparently has an ice cream date today,” Simon replied looking up from the clipboard.

“A date?! And she didn’t tell her father?” Ruben gasped, almost trimming the head of a hibiscus as he ranted.

“Well damn, what am I? Chopped liver?”

“I didn’t mean it like that Simey Bear,” Ruben coaxed. “She just usually shares these kinda things with me first. I guess I feel a little jealous.”

“You’re such a diva,” Simon said with a chuckle. “The one time she tells me something before you, you’re up in arms.”

Ruben pouted slightly. Ever since Skylar was a child, they would always talk about the boys she liked and he would be the one to help with her hair and makeup.

“So what exactly does this boy look like?”

“It’s not a boy,” Simon said with a smirk.

“Oh? It’s another fish? It better not be that Monica heifer!” Ruben shouted as he slammed the shears on the counter.

“You know, she didn’t say,” Simon recalled, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Let’s call her.”

The streets were relatively clear as Skylar and Oya walked hand in hand through Little Tokyo. They grabbed a few t-shirts from Popkiller, Skylar’s favorite being the Kawaii Kanye shirt Oya picked out before leaving and heading to the Tokyo Japanese Outlet. There, Skylar bought herself a life-size Jigglypuff plush while Oya browsed the pin section. Sky rolled her eyes playfully as Oya stuck the ‘I Love Cat’ pin to the front of her shirt, rubbing her head against her chest purring.

“You’re aggy,” Sky said before playfully pushing her head away.

“Yet you’re still here with me,” Oya countered, walking out of the shop in search of food.

The pair decided on Shen Sin Gumi. Skylar remembered O’Shea talking about how great the food was and how they had the best ramen in LA. They both settled on spicy tonkotsu ramen with kikiruge mushrooms, green onions, and extra chashu. Skylar also ordered a side of takoyaki and chicken gyoza while Oya got a side of veggie tempura.

“Damn,” Skylar exclaimed slurping a noodle. “This is the best ramen in LA.”

Oya nodded in agreeance, taking a bite of the veggie tempura.

“It is. We should start letting O’Shea pick out food spots more often.”

“We should. All the little fat fuck does is eat,” Sky chuckled.

After lunch and more exploring of Little Tokyo, the pair ended their date at Bae, Skylar’s favorite ice cream shop because of their quirky flavor options and the overall ambiance of the parlor.

Oya couldn’t help the smile that stretched across her face when her eyes fell on the neon sign that read ‘With love, from bae’ as soon as they walked in.

“Real cute, Greene.”

“I know,” Skylar smirked back. The pair sampled several different flavors of ice cream, their mutual favorites being Pegasus, Mixed Feelings, Ube, and Heartbreak. Skylar’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much and she was in the middle of telling one of Papa Simon’s favorite jokes when her phone rang.

“Speak of the devil,” she said, answering the FaceTime call. “Hello father,” she said with a playful eye roll.

“Now is that any way to greet your father?” Simon asked, holding the phone close to his face in an attempt to see who Skylar was with.

Sky caught on and moved to the other side of the table.

“You’re right, where are my manners? Hello Papa Simon. How are things with you and Papa Ruben?”

“They’re good, my dearest. How are things with you and your friend?” Skylar decided to play dumb a little longer.

“Erik is fine. We’re both experimenting with SPT with our current clients and so far, things have been going well.”

Ruben, knowing the game his daughter was playing snatched the phone from Simon and commanded the screen.

“Cut the bullshit, Moreau. Let us see her.”

Skylar smiled as she bit her lip and moved back to sit beside Oya once more.

“Oya, these are my fathers, Simon and Ruben Greene. Dads, this is Oya.”

“Oh Skylar, she’s stunning,” Ruben exclaims, causing Oya to blush.

“Thank you, sir. It’s nice to meet you, Skylar talks about you all the time.”

“She better,” Ruben teased. “Okay, finish your date. I just had to make sure it wasn’t that part-time gay heifer.”

Skylar laughed at that.

“No Daddy, Monica is a distant memory. As a matter of fact, I think Oya just may be a permanent addition of she acts right,” Sky smirked, glancing over at Oya.

“Excuse you, madam?” Oya said with mock offense.

“I’m just playing, pretty girl,” Sky coaxed, stroking her cheek with her thumb.

“Mmhm... Tell me anything,” Oya teased, sucking her thumb off camera.

“Oop, she’s spicy. I like her,” Ruben said. “Well, you two enjoy your date. Papa Simon and I will check in on you later.”

“Yes, sir. Bye Dads,” Sky said as she ended the call. She shoved her phone back in her jacket pocket as Oya went to grab another double scoop of Heartbreak.

As she caught herself staring at the light-skinned, curly red-haired cutie before her, one thing was certain: She was fucked. Absolutely, positively, 100% fucked. She now knew how Erik felt the first time he realized how enamored he was with O’Shea and she wanted to curse herself for teasing him the way she did. Not since Monica had anyone made her feel so free and uninhibited and initially, she was very apprehensive about it. But once she saw Oya’s smile spread across her face and create that subtle twinkle in her eye, Skylar made it her business to have it on display more often.

“What?” Oya’s voice pulled Skylar from her thoughts and it was then that she realized she had been staring the entire time.

“H-Huh? What?”

“You were staring again, Moreau,” Oya responds with a sly smirk, extending a hand to brush a few stray curls from her face.

“You getting real comfortable with my middle name, Ms. Ramirez,” Sky remarks, leaning over to steal a lick of her ice cream cone.

“Just like you getting comfortable with my damn ice cream, ya thief!” Oya says with a laugh.

“It looked good, I couldn’t help myself!” Skylar screeched, throwing her arms up in mock surrender.

“Uh-huh, I bet you couldn’t. You gone make me fight you,” Oya fussed.

“Aww, don’t be like that, pretty girl,” Sky teased, causing Oya’s grin to stretch wider.

“You lucky you’re a hot doctor,” Oya smirked, stealing a lick from Skylar’s Pegasus cone.

Sky only smirked and shook her head as she watched Oya eat.

“You’re trouble, Ms. Ramirez.”

“Glad you know, Dr. Greene.”

The next morning found Skylar smiling from ear to ear as she entered the shop. O’Shea watched with a smirk as she bounced on her toes all the way down to her office.

“I take it you had a good time?”

“I had a great time. She’s sweet, she’s funny, and she doesn’t take any of my shit which is something I’ll have to get used to, but I enjoy it.”

“You and Erik really are two sides of the same coin. I bet he tells you the same shit about me.”

“That he does.”

“Awww, Sky Bear is in love,” O’Shea teased, poking at Skylar’s sides.

“I’m not in love, yet, but there is a possibility that something more than business will come from this and I’m not opposed.”

O’Shea squealed, kicking her feet like an excited schoolgirl.

“I’m so happy for you. You’ve been through so much and it’ll be nice for you to be loved the way you deserve to be.”

“Aww, thanks, Shea. That’s really sweet of you to say.”

“And I mean it, too. Oh, I almost forgot,” O’Shea squeaked as she bound up the stairs and back down again. “These were delivered for you.”

Sky raised an eyebrow before taking the bouquet of sunflowers from O’Shea. They smelled heavenly and hand a little black card attached.

“Ooh, what does it say?” Shea asked, bouncing excitedly. Sky grabbed the card and smiled from ear to ear as she read the message aloud.

“To my Sunshine,

May your day be as beautiful and as sweet as this bouquet.”

-With love,

From Bae

Links to pole moves used above:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZxMFtZxPko&t=116s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tap-qXHJIpQ&t=132s

TAG LIST:

@vikkidc @thadelightfulone @sydneebleu @blktinkerbell @madamslayyy @chaneajoyyy @jozigrrl @thehomierobbstark @ @iamrheaspeaks @mareethequeen @forbeautyandlife @whatmoredoyouwantamericaa @blowmymbackout @wakanda-inspired @yaachtynoboat711 @nickidub718 @heyauntieeee @princessstevens @bakarilennox @xaviera108 @alexundefined @raysunshine78 @dameshaemonique @laketaj24 @youreadthatright @theogbadbitch @bugngiz @amirra88 @post-woke @im5ftbutmythroat66 @blackpinup22 @maya-leche @blessyd-bthyname @unholyxcumbucket @eclecticblkgirl @kissmyafropuff @rick-sosa @jennajai @allhailqueennel @killmongersbaby @eye-raq @thickemadame @soulfulbeauty19

#vanity writes #my shit #erik stevens #killmonger smut #daddy erik #killmonger fic #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x black oc #carnal stimulation

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 5 years

Text

Great Thing

Part 1 Part 2

Part 3: Not Your Hero

“You a liar, T.” Erik swept casually through the small and crowded club toward the exit. He’d shown for one purpose and one purpose only. He wanted to support a nineteen year old boy from the outreach center’s young adult program in his rap dream. He was actually good and booked the gig on his own which had to be rewarded.

“I did not lie,” T'Challa shot, a step behind. Erik had ignored him through the entire performance and now, no matter how fast he walked, T'Challa remained on his heels, even despite the crowd. “What you witnessed was not habit, but spur of the-Why am I exp- I don’t owe you an explanation of my private affairs!”

“You don’t owe me a thing,” Erik tossed without looking back, “But if you’ll lie about bullshit that damn stupid? You’ll lie about real shit.”

T'Challa followed closely, stress etched deeply into his brow as he attempted to understand Erik’s frustration over something so frivolous. "That's hardly-"

“Ain’t nobody business what you do behind closed doors,” Erik quipped spinning to look his cousin in the eye. “Like father like son, right?” With that, he left the club, T'Challa no longer behind him.

Erik cruised the city, music blasting in his Buggatti Veyron, fully aware of the Dora tailing him though she stayed a distance away so not to be spotted. Since his resurrection in Wakanda, a service he never requested, he’d been crowded by a team of doctors, therapists, Dora, and T'Challa. More shit he didn't ask for. He felt caged and heavily judged. Every move was scrutinized. They all watched him from the outside like they were afraid he'd attempt to retake the throne and Wakanda. The hyper hyper-awareness made him want to rebel out of pure spite although he was past wanting the throne. He didn't need the throne especially when he knew he was being lied to and them muhfuckas were all involved.

“T'Challa the nigga they need to be watching,” he spoke aloud figuring the car was bugged. “The spoiled ass king who can do no fuckin wrong. He’s as reckless as me, yet they praise him because he was born into a position of power. That nigga ain't earn shit, but was born with allegiance. That nigga ought to check his privilege and these bald peons better check their king.” The number on the speedometer increased as he flew down the road, knowing every dip and curve like the skin of his own hands. “Me? I was born from struggle. Been at odds with the world all my life. Everything I got, I got on my own and that lying ass nigga? Ain't no better than me or any hood nigga I came up with. You can tell your king I said it. If he ain’t already listening.”

Erik kept his eyes on the road, driving faster. He sped past the Camburger getting a random flashback. He suddenly knew where to go. His current state was a far cry from his past, but Gia was one real nigga who had always been there.

The Past

Camburger was calling and Erik stood in line, hands in the pockets of his black Balr hoodie, waiting to cop a fat one. He shifted his feet looking down at his all black ACW*’s. They matched the all black theme of his fit with the under armour black long johns and the black basketball shorts. The woman in front of him stepped away and he stepped up to the counter to put in his order. “I'll take the beast burger.. and the camburger combo.. a Sprite.. yeah.. Thank you.” The woman smiled and he nodded.

“That him?” A voice aggressively whispered from a table to the right putting Erik on high alert as he angled his ear to listen around him. He didn't have to look to recognize the voice of the female that dude was with. They were making a scene.

“Stop, I don't know him,” she pleaded. “I don't know him! Von!” Sounded like Keisha, which meant her man probably found out they were fuckin and had a lot to say about it.

Erik claimed his order and checked the bag, grabbing hot sauce as Von approached. Neither of them spoke initially and Erik put his straw in his drink. What the fuck was Erik gonna say? He refused to fight over a bitch and that's what the nigga wanted. He turned on his heel to walk away when Von piped up.

“Pussy nigga,” he spit. “You runnin like a BITCH,” he yelled stepping back as Keisha stepped in between, holding him back and apologizing to Erik on his behalf. “Fuck that. I don't give a fuck who he is, I'll beat any nigga's ass in here if they gotta problem. Starting with this hoe.”

Erik stared blankly at the duo picking up his drink and turning on his heel to leave peacefully.

“I’m a slice that ass up, on crip,” Von snapped with wide eyes.

“That ain't you, bruh.” Erik specifically recalled Keisha saying the nigga was from Tennessee. He didn't look like he had hands, but Erik knew he probably had guns. “You ain't from round here, yeet dat ass with all that shit.”

“Von, let's go! Please, let's just go.. let's- please,” Keisha cried yanking on his arm after pulling herself up.

“Listen to your girl,” Erik said with a sip of his Sprite as he stepped toward the exit.

“Killmonger my ass. I'm a light ya block up, you better watch ya back nigga,” Von yelled. Erik stopped short at the threat, turning back. You could hear a pin drop at that moment, as the people around froze. “Yo ass shook,” Von sneered in Erik's face once he walked up. “Yeah nigga.. I'm a-”

Pop.

He looked down at the blood seeping from his white tee and back up at Erik's unapologetic eyes watching the life leave his as he fell to the ground, panicked with no one moving a muscle to help.

Erik backed out the door with a nod to the woman behind the counter. As the door closed behind him, he heard another pop. He glanced back on his way to his black NSX to see Keisha next to a squirming Von, immobile, her head fucked up.

Sliding into the driver's seat, he turned the car on and it came to life. I hustle, I flex, the world is mine. So please believe, allow the greaze

These niggas disease, don't speak we squeeze (squeeze). I make the devil go weak the knees. You hate, you're lame, your loss.

---

Gia opened the door with no words letting Erik into her home. He went directly to her refrigerator pulling out plastic containers of food to make himself a plate. She sat a shot of Henny on the table in front of him and left him, heading sleepily to her bedroom while he gathered his thoughts.

When he was in a better state, he walked back to find her in bed.

“You you always so good to me,” he asked posted against the door frame. For years, she'd consistently fucked with him no matter what bullshit he was on, no questions asked. Going back to Camburger. She knew the old Killmonger as well as the new and she never made him feel like he was crazy.

“You good to me.. Why wouldn't I be good to you?”

“You remember that night at Camburger?”

“Damn, when I used to work there. Why you thinking about that?” She sat up fixing her bonnet. Slowly he made his way to her bedside sitting in the empty space. Looking at her concerned face, he could only think of how she'd shot that girl in front of everyone on command. Years later and still ain't nobody snitched or said shit about either death. “Erik, you know you got shooters out here. You good?”

“See, that's what I mean. You stay ready.”

“Who I gotta fuck up,” she stared blankly causing him to smile and gently palm the top of her bonnet.

“No one.. Go to sleep.” He dropped a stack on the kitchen table and made his way out back to his car. Smiling, he turned it on and rolled off.

---

T'challa’s chest heaved in the dim light of the basement. His mind swirled with fearful thoughts. He was afraid of himself and what he knew he might do. He pleaded with his heart to stop pounding and the ache hammering in her temples to cease. He’d sweat through his clothing. It clung to his salty, dark and smooth skin. Sweat from his forehead, from his brow, down his neck.

“Baba,” he pleaded to the light source above, dizziness setting in. He was seeing doubles. It felt like he was dying but he knew better than that. “Help me stop it, baba,” he cried. His arms were cuffed and tied behind him. On top of that he was chained and tethered inside of a metal cage. “Ancestors.. please,” he sighed fatigued, “I beg of thee. Purge me of this curse. Guide me! If not, then reinforce these bars so that I must stay here..”

Even as he was speaking his request, he felt his mind slipping. His sanity was beginning to flee him. “Nalani,” he whispered in mourning, “I am truly sorry.”

–

The moon, fully round and white rose high in the jet black sky and Nalani drove on the highway getting as far as she could away from her beloved fiance with much regret and pain in her gut. She wanted nothing more than to hold T'Challa through his ordeal and soothe him, letting him know that she still loved him no matter what happened. She knew his heart and he was a gentle man, one of the sweetest she’d ever known. She’d move mountains for him. However, the plan they’d come up with together was for her to tie him up, lock him up, then get as far away from him as she possibly could without him knowing where she was going. She had to follow the plan if she wanted to survive.

“Nalani.. Come, I must tell you something.. very important,” he’d said soberly when they’d gotten serious as a couple. They were in his home and he didn’t seem to know where to start, starting and stopping before looking her dead on. He exhaled. “I have.. a condition,” he said carefully. Nalani waited before shaking her head impatiently. He exhaled again. “When I am in love, which is rare… a certain frenzy will come over me. It is an animalistic..,” he searched for the right word, “obsession.” Nalani crossed one thigh over the other, the high split of her dress revealing smooth dark skin. He looked away as she grabbed his hand to play with his long fingers. “I don’t think you are getting the seriousness of this matter,” he muttered pulling his hand away when she attempted to kiss his pinky ring.

“T'Challa, I’ve been known to be passionate. You’ll soon discover we have that in common,” Nalani smiled moving to sit in his lap. He stood before she could.

“Nalani, on the full moon, I will transform into a creature of extreme animal lust. You will have to restrain me and get away, as far as you possibly can for I will hunt you and no one but you until the sun comes up.”

“And if you catch me,” Nalani teased. He was silent and his serious expression caused her smirk to falter.

“In the interest of full disclosure, those women are not on this earth today. Not in this plane. I understand if you wish to leave me. You would not be the first and you would be safe.” The sad note of his voice touched Nalani’s heart and she walked over to hear man, hugging him near to her.

“I fear.. that my lust for you is too great,” he sighed. “One of these full moons I will transform.” He handed her a gun with silver bullets. “I trust you to do all you can to escape.”

The gun laid in the console of the car. She prayed she wouldn’t have to use it. A tear fell that she wiped away with the back of her hand.

Okoye snatched her phone out of T'Challa's hand as he was reading, his brows knitted in hopeless confusion. He didn't know what to say or think, his face frozen.

"It's called wakandan fanfiction, brother, and you.. are the king of Wakanda so there will be stories of you. Get used to it," Shuri said through T'Challa's phone.

"Cannot the stories be true or at the very least believable? I fear that my lust for you is too great," he mocked, offense in his tone. Shuri smiled from her lab in Wakanda, finding it hilarious.

"Okay I called you to discuss the sneaker advancements. I snuck them in," she said proud of her pun. "I've added jets. You should be able to remain in the air went you jump."

"When will I utilize this?" He inspected the shoes on his feet. They looked and felt the exact same.

"Do you want to know how to work them or not?"

"Tell me."

Under her instruction he clicked his heels and the jets appeared, lifting him from the ground and causing him to fall on his face. He rushed himself upright ignoring Okoye's snort and Shuri's fit of giggles.

"I'm sorry brother," Shuri cried in laughter, "It had to be done." She watched him dust himself off to maintain his heir of dignity. "By the way... I heard you and N'Jadaka had a falling out."

"Not so much of that as I didn't divulge the full truth about something small, now he's upset with me."

"Was it about the lewd footage of you and that woman in Erik's house? I couldn't watch it without.. throwing up on my equipment so I deleted it.. but boy do your kinks run deep. Perhaps Erik had a point somewhere in his car babble."

T'Challa lifted his head defensively and Okoye looked away. He quickly ended the call with Shuri and took a step away, off to himself.

@muse-of-mbaku @imaginewhoever @whoramilaje @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @marvelpotterlove @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @blackpantherimagines @vikkidc @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @ledouxange7 @drsunshine97 @purplehairgawdess @trevantesbrat @indigoxsummers @cccccx1 @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @fonville-designs @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent

#erik killmonger #original #erik stevens #killmonger #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik killmonger imagines #erik stevens au #erik killmonger imagine #killmonger fanfiction #t'challa fanfiction #t'challa #t'challa fic

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xz017 · 5 years

Text

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me?????????????????????

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble.

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

#personal tea #read more only #entry

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indeego · 3 years

Text

Vent #1

I go to a school where our suites have 2 rooms, 2 people each (usually 3 in one room, but then covid happened). So my roommate, the one I actually share a space with, is sometimes hard to deal with.

We had to take a little personality quiz to be matched with someone, like how messy are you, are you a night owl, etc etc. I think I’m kind of half and half with neatness. I’m not perfect, but I usually leave my messes out of sight/under the bed if I have them. Well, when I met my roommate I thought they would be similar, but no. They flat out told me they lied on the form because they were embarrassed to admit how messy they were or something. Like, bruh. No one is using that to judge you, they’re using it to match you with a good roommate to live with, i.e. someone else who’s messy and won’t mind living in it. It’s all on their side which is good, but there’s so much old food wrappers and cans, and one time a whole ass pizza sat in our room for 3 days. They never do their chores (but to be fair, I’m not so great at keeping up with mine either), never takes out the trash in our bathroom, never replaces the toilet roll, uses a shit ton of said toilet paper as well as q-tips, and I pay to replace all of them. They even told me to my face that they are never gonna take out the garbage from our bathroom, and that if he tried to help with the main room garbage they’d throw up. Me too bitch, I nearly throw up doing it cause we’re all nasty but it has to be done!! Smaller detail but they also use a shit ton of ketchup and most of it gets wasted and thrown away and like fdjklfdsjfskld just make a smaller pile and get more if you need it it’s not that hard. They also planned bringing their dog here at some point this year without consulting me at all, and expects us all to help out with her. They even said “so picking up dog poop makes me wanna puke” and then looked at me all expectantly like I was gonna let out and clean up after THEIR DOG. I straight up had to say I wasn’t gonna pick up their dog’s shit. I can’t take her for walks, I can’t play with her, I’m too busy trying to hold myself together and keep up with school work. I got so stressed out last semester with finals, we all did, and you want to add a dog on top of that??? Another small detail, they are constantly using nasal spray. I get it, you gotta use it to breathe sometimes, but I have never once seen them blow their nose. Not once in the many months of living with them. Just the constant sniffle sniffle sniff sniff sniffle sniffle I’m gonna SCREAM! JUST BLOW YOUR NOSE!!!! Honestly I’m kinda pissed that I could have gotten a different roommate.

Now, part of the lack of motivation with chores and stuff is because they have a lot of mental health issues. Severe depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicidal tendencies, etc. They mentioned to me that they had been in psych wards before for this it got so bad. Now I myself have definitely had a history with poor mental health. It was bad for a really long time, I even got close to a suicide attempt once. I hated myself in every possible aspect, but now I’m finally starting to love myself. I’ve made definite progress, even if it’s not perfect, and I’m really proud of myself for that. But part of that is I stopped making depressing and self deprecating jokes, and turned to more positive ones. I stopped saying I was stupid or garbage or whatever, now I’m like “I’m cool and sexy and powerful actually” and it’s been great. My roommate however, is still in that headspace of self deprecation and self hate and I think it’s starting to rub off on me. I’ve caught myself saying I was stupid more than a few times, and generally my mood has gotten worse over this school year. And just the other week, my roommates depression meds ran out, and Walgreens wouldn’t give them a refill (Walgreens in general has been so shitty to this whole household lately like fuck you Walgreens). This meant they had to go cold turkey for 5 days, and slowly they got more moody and upset and depressed (also tangent, I know they have phone anxiety but that can’t be a catch all excuse all the time. They never call before their prescription runs out, and that’s why they have to go days without it. Then they go through a whole spiral for like a week and I’m just thinking “what did you expect to happen, that more drugs would just instantly appear?” I have anxiety about phone calls too, that’s why I have to write a script out before I do certain phone calls, maybe try that). They were constantly saying that they wanted to die, and all I could offer was a “please don’t do that” and suggest taking a shower, drinking some water, or eating a proper meal. It got so bad that they woke me up in the afternoon saying I needed to drive with them to the hospital because their therapist said it was that, or he’d call the cops to escort them. I spent my entire afternoon at a hospital with them, feeling very uncomfortable with the situation. I now have the job of locking their pills and sharp objects in my nightstand drawer so they don’t kill themselves. I feel like I’m the only thing keeping them from committing suicide, and I already got a lot of trauma from that with my mom, I don’t want history repeating itself with my roommate. I don’t want to fear that I’ll wake up and find their corpse, or that I’ll hear them overdosing from the room over and have to call an ambulance. I thought things would get better after the hospital gave them a month refill of their meds, but things still aren’t improving. They keep saying “what if I just killed myself,” “what if I just die,” “what if I just jump out the window,” “I wanna kill myself” and it makes me so feel so uncomfortable and bad, like if I say the wrong thing I’ll set them off or be responsible for making their mood worsen. I know they can’t control that their brain doesn’t produce what it needs to, but I don’t want to be responsible for them and their life. But I have to pretend to be ok with all of this because they don’t have any other option.

Related to that, they also mentioned how they’ve never really had any real friends before (in person at least), and that it’s been really nice to have the rest of us with them and not hate them. But I sometimes don’t enjoy living with them at all. They’ve told me how they had a poor childhood with no friends, and they feel like all their friends eventually stop talking to them and leave them, and it makes me feel guilty for wanting to do the same thing. They think it means they’re too annoying to deal with (which I mean they’re annoying sometimes but I can deal for now), but I feel like it’s more because they’re kind of a huge ball of negativity and sudden mood swings. I’d feel bad just totally ditching them, but I honestly don’t think it’s good for my mental health to be dealing with them and living with them.

Something else is that they are really into Critical Role. Like, mega obsessed with it. I understand it’s probably a hyperfixation and a comfort show, but they’re so invested that when something bad happens in the show it really impacts their mood. Like, they got genuinely really angry and slammed the door of our room when a character almost died. They lay on the floor for nearly 20 minutes after an episode when something bad happens. They also scream so goddamn loud. They’re in our room with the door closed but that does nothing to muffle the sound. So many loud yells and screams and shouting it makes me want to punch a wall. And the fact that the show goes until midnight or later so our room is just occupied until then. Sometimes I want to go to sleep at a decent hour, or I’m just tired, but I don’t want to make them go into the main room because then ALL of us will hear them and no one wins. They also have put so much of their mental wellbeing on if Liam O’Brien likes their fanart or not. They have said “if Liam doesn’t like this fanart I’m gonna kill myself” like, he’s a busy real life adult man who doesn’t have time to sift through every piece of fanart that comes his way. Sure it might happen, but if it doesn’t then tough luck, you gotta move on. You can’t hinge your entire mental wellbeing on a stranger giving you a like on twitter.

I know that a good option for me would probably be to request a new roommate or something, but I don’t know how that would work. I really like the other two, even if I also have small things I dislike, it’s nothing like this level. I don’t know, if anyone out there sees this and has some advice I’d appreciate it.

#tldr: living with my roommate sucks for a multitude of reasons and I don't know if I should talk with them or move out or what #cw vent #tw vent #cw suicide #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #cw suicide mention #tw drugs #cw drugs #I don't know if people mostly use cw or tw so I'm just gonna fill up the tags with both #vent blog #long post #roommate vent

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 6 years

Text

Queen Cobra

I have been wanting to write a snake miraculous holder Alix fic for a long, long time now, and I finally gave in, so here’s the first chapter of what’s gonna be a wild ride of friendship, danger, rich kid bonding, sneks, and memes

Also on AO3 as always

Being a superhero was fairly fun most of the time, getting to save people from danger and zooming around the Parisian rooftops without anyone telling you off or yelling at you to slow down. And plus, having superpowers? That was awesome.

Being a pretty blatant third wheel to Ladybug and Rena Rouge, on the other hand, was a heck of a lot less fun. It was always the two of them fighting the akuma, saving the day, actually having non-lethal special powers and getting to use them without worrying that they were going to kill someone off or whatever. And then they’d fist-bump each other, only remembering Queen Cobra as an afterthought.

“Oh – Queen Cobra! You go keep an eye on the civilians! Make sure they’re safe!”

It was always that. Making sure the civilians were safe. Going after normal, “muggle” bad guys, like robbers or muggers or murderers, and not the magical supervillains in dorky costumes that plagued Paris on a daily basis. No, those were Ladybug and Rena’s job to deal with. Half the time it didn’t even feel like Queen Cobra was part of their team.

But now? Things were different. Recent events had shaken up Paris so badly, probably even cool-headed Ladybug wouldn’t know what to do with herself. Was her job at an end, now that there were no more akumas? Would she and Rena have to retire? Or would they finally have to start doing the lowly, unglamorous job that Queen Cobra was already used to, cleaning up the city of criminals who did bad things on their own accord?

Well, maybe she wouldn’t know for a while until she saw them again. And until then, there were more pressing matters on her mind. Far more pressing matters.

Like the fact that a certain someone now knew her secret identity. Someone who was definitely not supposed to.

“Yo ninja turtle, what is UP my dude?”

Alix Kubdel burst through the door into Master Fu’s room, throwing her schoolbag on the floor and sitting down in front of him, exhausted. Today had been such a weird day.

“I really should be asking you that question,” Fu said, not even raising his eyes from the book he was reading. “I hear quite a lot of interesting things happened today.”

“Yeah, it was crazy. You must have heard that Ladybug and Rena caught Hawk Moth, right? Oh yeah, and they apparently don’t know you so they asked me to give you this.”

She took a tiny little butterfly brooch out of her pocket and put it on the table in front of her.

“It was a bit of a job persuading them that I actually know the Great Guardian of the Miraculouses in real life, or whatever fancy title you call yourself,” she continued. “Do they really not know you? How did you even give them their Miraculouses if you never met them?”

“I simply left the box containing their Miraculouses in their possession,” Fu said, before taking a sip of the tea that was on the table. “The less they know about me, the better. The Ladybug and Fox Miraculouses are considered more powerful and valuable than yours, so it would be safer for them not to know too much. I left it to their kwamis to explain everything to them.”

Alix pouted for a few seconds – more powerful and valuable, honestly! Did Ladybug or Rena have frickin’ rollerskates on their super suit? Um, no, they did not.

“I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t do that with me,” she said finally. “Scoot wouldn’t have bothered to explain anything to me anyway.”

The little green kwami in question jumped out of her pocket indignantly. “That is blatantly untrue! I would certainly have explained your powers to you if Master Fu did not, I would never have just left you to fend for yourself–”

“Yeah you would, noodle boy.” She gave Scoot a little poke in the side. “Anyway, catching Hawk Moth and putting him in jail was not the only thing that happened today. Uh, something else did too. Something less good.”

“You discovered the true identity of Hawk Moth and did not like the result, is that it?” Fu asked. By this time Wayzz had hopped off the phonograph and onto Fu’s shoulder, listening intently. Gee, why couldn’t Scoot be that polite all the time?

“Sorta,” she replied. “I mean yeah, turns out Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, famous fashion designer and whatever, the dad of one of the kids in my class. But um… there’s something else too… I sorta screwed up…”

“That’s an understatement,” Scoot added, rather unhelpfully.

“No it isn’t,” Alix said. “It’s just that someone may have found out my secret identity.”

“They definitely did.”

“And then I ran straight over here to tell you so I have no idea what their reaction is.”

“A disaster, probably.”

“Would you be quiet?!”

“How did this happen?” Fu asked. His expression hadn’t changed at all.

“I de-transformed and didn’t realize this person was standing right behind me,” Alix said. “Lame, I know. And I know we’re not supposed to tell people our identities, so like, am I in danger or something? What am I meant to do now?”

“That depends entirely on who this person is. After all, I know your secret identity, as do Wayzz and Scoot, and your brother too. It isn’t always a bad thing.”

Yeah, well Jalil only knew for practical reasons. Scoot refused to eat anything that wasn’t dead mice, and owning an actual pet snake was the only non-suspicious way to get hold of that, so of course she had to tell Jalil. He was an adult, he could buy one, even if it did freak their dad out a lot. And she trusted him to keep her secret.

“So who is this person?” Fu asked.

“Well…”

The worst person possible, really. Not only was it someone she saw almost every single day, but also someone who was probably in a complete breakdown over other things in their life right now and definitely did not need to have knowing a superhero’s secret identity added to their list of things to flip out over.

“It’s Hawk Moth’s son,” Scoot said for her, crossing his little kwami arms and rolling his eyes.

“Yeah. Adrien Agreste.” Alix took a quick glance at the smartwatch on her wrist – Adrien had her number from various school projects, but he hadn’t tried to call her or anything. Maybe he was still too busy freaking out over his dad being a supervillain to bother with his classmate turning out to be the least famous member of Paris’s resident supergirl trio.

“That’s not too bad then,” Fu said, shrugging and pouring himself some more tea. “He seems like a nice person from what you’ve told me before, I’m sure he won’t tell anyone. And with the threat of Hawk Moth gone, it is much less dangerous for everyone whether they know your identity or not.”

“But that was emotionally stable Adrien I’ve always told you about,” Alix said, trying to figure out a way to get across what she was worrying about. “Right now he’s literally just found out his dad is Hawk Moth, who’s been put in jail, and his mother’s been missing for like a year. He’s gotta stay in custody of Gabriel Agreste’s assistant now. He basically has no parents. And from what I saw of him when I was keeping him safe while Ladybug and Rena were busting in and whatever, he’s uh… not taking it that well.”

“Then I suggest you go speak to him.”

“Um… what?”

Fu seemed weirdly unperturbed. “Go have a chat. Remind him not to tell anyone your secret identity. Make sure he’s alright.”

“Bruh, I’m not a therapist. I am very bad at dealing with people who are flipping out.”

“It’s true,” Scoot said.

“Shut up, Scoot, you’re wrong. I changed my mind. I’m good at dealing with people, and I will definitely go talk to Adrien.”

Fu just smiled. “Excellent. Let me know how it goes.”

“Oh, and by the way…” Alix fiddled with the laces on her Heelys absent-mindedly. “Now that Hawk Moth’s gone, what’s the Super Squad gonna do? I mean, as Queen Cobra I can still go be Batman, but Ladybug and Rena never did any of that stuff. They only fought akumas. Are they still gonna keep their Miraculouses?”

“That is up to them. I believe it would be good for the city’s morale to have their superheroes continue to be around, wouldn’t it? But if they have nothing that they want to do then let me know, and I will get their Miraculouses back.”

“How?”

He tapped the edge of his nose. “That’s a secret.”

“Are you gonna break into their houses and steal their jewellery while they’re asleep or something? Dude, that’s creepy.”

Wayzz, usually content to be silent and just listen in, burst into laughter. “Who says he’s the one who’s doing the breaking in?”

“You, really?! Wow, criminals…”

Scoot tugged on one of her loose strands of hair. “Come on, the sooner we talk to the Agreste boy, the better.”

Agreste boy? Pfffff, he had a name. But Scoot was right. It was better to just get this over with before Adrien had a total meltdown, which was probably going to happen at some point. That kid had always been a ticking time bomb.

She stood up and picked up her bag. “I guess I’ll see you guys some other time then.”

“Perhaps stick around for tea next time?” Fu asked, holding up the tea pot.

“Meh, I think I’ll stick with Red Bull, thanks. Bye for now.”

She waved and walked out of the door, Scoot whizzing back into her pocket along the way.

Right… now to find Adrien. Would he still be in that protective alleyway where she had left him? Or would he have gone back home? Of course, it was always possible he might have been picked up by the police or something, they’d want to know what was going on. Not that they’d get anything out of Adrien, of course, there was no way that boy knew anything about his father’s villainous activities, he was definitely innocent–

Oh, drat. He was standing right there. Outside Fu’s shop.

“Uh… hey Adrien!” Alix said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Oh… hi…”

He really, really did not look good. Red eyes, tear-stained face, clothes still half covered in debris from his father’s evil lair sending off missiles everywhere when Ladybug and Rena had broken in. His voice sounded like he was trying to hold back tears, though mostly failing.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. Maybe this was all just some weird, crazy coincidence. There was a small likelihood that Adrien hadn’t recognized her when she de-transformed, or maybe he had somehow forgotten (amnesia could be a side-effect of trauma, right?), or maybe he hadn’t even noticed and she just thought he did, and maybe he just happened to be coming to Fu’s shop to get a back massage or something. Yeah.

“I followed you.” He was shuffling nervously on his feet. “I saw you earlier, and… you’re… Queen Cobra…”

“Pffffff, no I’m not, that’s ridiculous.”

“You are! I saw you de-transform right in front of my eyes!”

Alright, so he did know. Seriously though, how had he managed to follow her here? She was very quick on her Heelys, he must have been outright sprinting to keep her within sight.

Which of course meant that he wanted to talk to her about all this…

Ugh. She didn’t really like talking to people much.

“Yeah, fine, it’s me,” she said, taking a quick glance round to make sure no one else was nearby to eavesdrop. “But you can’t tell anyone.”

He shook his head. “I won’t.”

“Good.”

There was an awkward silence for what seemed to stretch into hours, though was probably more like a few seconds. Yeah, this was why she didn’t like talking to people. No one ever knew what to say to her.

“Thank you for saving me,” he said quietly, at long last. “When the missiles were going off and the akuma army were attacking. I probably would have died if you didn’t get me out of there.”

Oh Adrien, always so polite, remembering his pleases and thank yous even while probably internally falling apart. It could not have been pleasant for him to know that his own father, as well as being the city’s most hated supervillain, was okay with endangering his own son just to have a chance to escape.

“Hey, it’s no problem,” she said.

Now another long, awkward silence. Yikes. This was the worst conversation ever, and she’d had a lot of bad conversations before.

Eventually Scoot just flew right out of her pocket muttering, “Oh for goodness’ sake, you can’t do anything right, can you!” He zoomed right up in front of Adrien’s face and said, “Hello Adrien, I am Scoot, if you have any questions about being a superhero then just ask me because this trainwreck of a classmate of yours is certainly not doing a good job of telling you anything.”

Adrien stumbled backwards slightly, a look of shock on his face. “What…”

“Yes, I’m real. No, you’re not dreaming.”

“Um…” Adrien recovered quickly, to his credit. “Nice to meet you… Scoot. But… who are you?”

“I am a kwami, a magical creature. I give Alix her powers when she transforms into Queen Cobra. I also attempt to give her advice in her daily life, which she refuses to pay attention to.”

“That’s ‘cause your advice is boring,” Alix said. “Anyway Adrien, got any questions? I may as well answer them.”

He just stared for a few seconds, seemingly still taking everything in. Then he said, “Who are Ladybug and Rena Rouge then?”

“I have no idea. They’re probably a lot better at keeping their identities hidden than I am. But then again, it’s their Miraculouses that Hawk Moth wanted, not mine…”

She trailed off, realizing that mentioning Hawk Moth around Adrien Agreste might just be a bad idea. Sure enough, at the mention of his father, a flicker of pain flashed across his eyes. Yeah okay, she was definitely going to have to start thinking before speaking around this kid.

“So I don’t know who they are,” she continued quickly. “I guess I might never find out now.”

“Are the heroes not ever coming back then?”

“No idea. I probably will, I mean, someone’s gotta stop the bank robberies and criminal gangs, right? But I don’t know if Ladybug and Rena will be back or not.”

“Oh… okay…” He thought for another few seconds. “How do you act so different?”

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“Queen Cobra’s so majestic and aloof, and you’re… um… well…”

Indescribable, sure. She got that a lot.

“I do that on purpose,” she said. “Otherwise how stupidly easy is it gonna be to recognize me? I have pink hair, dude. Pink hair. And I skate a lot. And I’m tiny. As big as Paris is, there really aren’t that many people like me around.”

Anime protagonist was the phrase coming to mind. But the truth was, if there was a “protagonist”, it was either Ladybug or Rena. No one in their right mind would pick Queen Cobra as the number one hero of Paris, whether she looked like it as a civilian or not.

Adrien was still just staring, looking very much like he was about to cry. That was not good.

“You should probably go home and get some rest,” she suggested.

“I don’t want to go home.”

His fists were clenched now. Even more not good.

“Maybe call up Nino and talk to him?”

“Nino left for the airport several hours ago.”

Already? Jeez, the summer holidays had only just started today. In any case, Adrien’s fists were even more clenched now, and he was looking at the ground, furiously blinking tears away from his eyes. Poor boy… that ticking time bomb was probably seconds away from exploding.

“You need a cup of tea,” Alix said, stepping forwards and grabbing his arm. “Come on.”

“Where–”

“Shush. Just follow me.”

Without waiting for a reply, she pulled him right back into Fu’s shop with her. Fu didn’t even look surprised to see them – well, she had always suspected he was either really wise or secretly psychic, maybe both.

“Can we get this dude a cup of tea please?” she asked him. “He’s had a rough day.”

“Certainly,” Fu said, immediately pouring out another cup that he already seemed to have ready. Okay, he must be psychic. “Take a seat, Adrien.”

Adrien did not seem surprised that Fu already knew who he was. Then again, that might just have been because everyone knew Paris’s most famous fashion model, he was already used to being a celebrity. Bewildered, he did indeed sit down on the floor and silently took the cup of tea Fu handed to him.

“You gonna be alright now?” Alix asked.

Adrien just nodded politely, taking a small sip from the tea cup.

“Cool. I guess I’ll be heading off now. If you’ve got any other questions you can always ask me later.”

“Are you seriously leaving right now?” Scoot screeched, giving her a punch in the arm. “The Agreste child is on the verge of having a nervous breakdown thanks to today’s events, and you would just leave him here in the company of a stranger–”

“Be quiet!” She grabbed Scoot in her hands and tried to stop him talking. “If I don’t get back soon dad’s gonna be so mad, he’ll ground me again…”

“Excuses!”

“Shush!”

Adrien was looking up at them, seeming nervous. “It’s okay, you can leave, I… I’m sure I’m fine…”

He was certainly not fine. But what else was Alix meant to do? Just stay here and endure more of those awkward silences? Adrien was nice and all, but having to comfort him in such dramatic circumstances was well beyond her capabilities. The emotional, supportive side of being a superhero was never something she could get the hang of.

“Master Fu here will take care of you, he’s a cool bean,” she said quickly. “I really gotta go now. Call me if you need anything!”

She didn’t really mean that last bit. Calling her, on a phone, expecting her to answer and actually speak to someone, well that was the quickest way of getting on her nerves. But it was probably the kind of nonsensical reassuring thing he needed to hear right now, so she had just said it without thinking. Grabbing Scoot again and stuffing him in her pocket, she left for good this time.

All the way along the journey back home she had to deal with Scoot making snide remarks from inside her pocket, as usual, earning her weird looks from passers-by – though the weird looks may have been a combination of that, and also the fact that she was Heelying down the street in an area that had definitely banned Heelys. (It wasn’t like anyone cared, it was fine.)

Arriving back home was no fun either, her father immediately interrogating her on where she had been, had she been part of Hawk Moth’s final akuma army, all of that stuff. His faith in her had really nosedived since her birthday several months ago. Obviously she was not going to tell him what she had really been up to, and had to invent an excuse like always.

“I was just hanging out with my friends,” she said, shrugging.

(“Pffff, what friends?” Scoot muttered from inside her pocket.)

“The panther friend didn’t challenge you to another cornflake-eating contest again, did he?” her father asked, rather sternly. She had to hold back a laugh – panther friend, really? Was Kim such a hard name to remember?

“He’s not my friend, and no. I wasn’t doing anything bad, I swear.”

It was true, she technically hadn’t done anything bad. Saving Paris from a supervillain was one of the least bad things anyone could ever do, really.

“So who were you with?”

She picked two random classmates. “I was with Marinette and Alya, okay? Does this really matter?”

“I just want to be sure that you were safe.”

“Well clearly, I am perfectly safe and sound. Trust me dad, I’m not that irresponsible.” It was hard to be irresponsible when a whole city was counting on you to protect them – though to be fair, Ladybug and Rena were probably a whole lot more responsible that she was.

Her father sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Fine. But you need to stop running off all the time without letting me know where you’re going. Alright?”

“Yeah, fine.”

She carried on upstairs to where she found her brother, who was working on some nerdy history translation thing like he always was. As soon as he saw her he rushed over and wrapped her in a hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” Jalil screeched, much louder than he should have. “You and Ladybug and Rena saved the day and brought Hawk Moth to justice and–”

“Sure, just say it so loud that all of Paris can hear,” she muttered, though she grinned and hugged him back all the same. Thank goodness this was a large house. The chances that her father had overheard were low.

“Sorry, it was just so cool!” He finally let go and looked at her, pride shining in his eyes. “You’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Oh good. Let me know if you need anything. Want some more food for Scoot? Should I make something nice for dinner? Should we watch The Mummy, in celebration? Should–”

“It’s okay, I don’t want anything!” She pushed Scoot back into her pocket, where she could feel him starting to come out at the mention of food. He’d already eaten recently, and anyway, she hated anyone interrupting when she was speaking to her brother. Jalil was one of the only people in the world who she actually got along with easily.

“You don’t look that happy,” he said, his smile disappearing. “What’s wrong?”

“Adrien Agreste knows my secret identity.”

The smile was back within a few seconds. “Oh, well that’s not so bad! You said Adrien is the nicest kid in your class, right?”

“Nah, that’s Rose. But Adrien’s already freaking out about his dad being a supervillain, so…”

“Wait, Hawk Moth is his dad?!... Agreste… Oh yes, I see, I just hadn’t realized…”

“And he probably is going totally nuts right now and has no one to turn to,” she continued. “I kinda just left him at Fu’s place and then came back here.”

Scoot had been fighting against her fingers and finally managed to fly out. “Yes, because you’re a selfish stubborn no-good who refuses to comfort someone in need!”

“Chill out, snekki,” she said, about to give him a jab in the side but quickly pulled her fingers back when she saw him baring his fangs. “I tried. But I’m no good at that stuff, I would have just made it worse. I’m not gentle enough. I always… y’know… break stuff.”

Jalil put a hand on her shoulder. “Alix, a person and a pocket watch are not the same. I’m sure whatever little you did must have helped him, in whatever small way.”

“If you say so…”

“Anyway, do you want to tell me all about today’s superhero adventure now? I can’t wait to hear the details!”

Yeah, that would be better. Recounting the dramatic break into the Agreste mansion would be entertaining enough, even if the whole story would be up on the Ladyblog pretty soon anyway. Jalil always liked to hear the adventures from Alix herself. It was nice really, having someone to chat to about it. And even nicer to know that one of her relatives, at least, didn’t care if she was “irresponsible” or getting into danger or trouble. Jalil would always be there for her.

#miraculous ladybug #alix kubdel #adrien agreste #master fu #no one else important yet #random stuff #aish writes #snek #queen cobra

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