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jo-harrington · 4 months

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Disaster Preparedness (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Maybe it's time to put a name to whatever it is you and Eddie are...but not without some misunderstandings first.

Previous Part: Peak Sales Hours

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. Angst, Jealousy, Fluff, and a series of unfortunate misunderstandings with a sweet ending.

Note: A day late, but what can you do. This was sort of always a pre-planned part of the Store Manager Verse (and actually set at Christmas Time at StarCourt) but a very special prompt made me switch it up. So without further ado @allthingsjoeq and @bettyfrommars please consider this collection of Holiday shenanigans inspired by I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus my take on Prompt 14 from your Holiday Prompt Party:

You can tell that the mall Santa is a babe under that beard, and you decide to get closer to investigate.

With a little twist...

You can find my masterlist here for more featuring our resident Store Manager and all of my other writing.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

The holiday season wasn't Eddie's favorite, per se.

Just like Thanksgiving, it was a time to make do. Couldn't really celebrate when you were reminded of the things you'd lost or didn't have in the first place.

Still it had its high points. Cookies were great, having a little extra cash between Wayne's holiday pay and bonus and the handful of parties he'd be able to deal at, and let it be known that...Eddie Munson was a sucker for snow and always wished for a White Christmas.

And for his friends? Eddie would always muster up the Holiday Spirit and Christmas Cheer. A special one-off campaign for Hellfire, a potluck dinner with Corroded Coffin, and handmade gifts that he spent way too much time on.

This year...working at StarCourt brought its own spin on Holiday cheer and it was a little annoying.

If he hadn't worked the closing shift on the 30th, and seen all of the overnight workers and maintenance vehicles that rolled out of the service corridors as he walked out, Eddie would have thought that it was magic that transformed StarCourt Mall into a true Winter Wonderland come December 1st.

Because it was night and day.

Lights were strung around every store entrance, wreaths and garland hung every 50 feet from the ceiling, soap snow fell down from special blowers in the vents onto the food court, and the space in front of Montgomery Ward suddenly contained a special gift-wrapping destination.

And suddenly the mall muzak had a festive flair to it.

It was honestly kind of sickening.

He wasn't a scrooge or anything, it was just overwhelming and appeared all at once. And after how overwhelming Black Friday had been, how was anyone supposed to cope with the bright lights, large crowds, and repetitive music? He intentionally started turning the shop radio to a higher volume to drown out the bells jingling and carols mingling for the next few shifts after the decorations appeared.

"It's Holidazzle," you told him as he leaned against the entryway to your store--"the conversion Eddie, for God's sake!"--and watched you hang a special banner in the window, featuring the Gift of Piercing and cartoon bears ice skating around a tree.

"It's overkill," he argued.

"It's Mall Life." You climbed down from your ladder and surveyed your work with a critical eye. "You get used to the big everything that is Christmas and just deal with it, and then, come January, it all dies. We're decorating today, and next week we start wearing reindeer antlers on the sales floor. It just is what it is. Gotta get the customers into the festive spirit so they buy more before it all tapers out.

"Surprised Kyle isn't already wearing like...a Santa hat and a cheesy sweater with ornaments hanging off it or something."

And Eddie wasn't sure if you were somehow clairvoyant or just knew his boss well enough, but that's exactly what Kyle wore to his next shift and, indeed, every shift for the remainder of December.

Santa hats in every color--and he'd bought hats for everyone else in the store--and if there wasn't a Santa hat, there was tinsel in his hair. A piece of glittery garland strung around his neck and a mug full of cocoa constantly present in his hand, even when he was on the sales floor. And, somehow, a different cheesy holiday sweater on every single shift he had.

Where did he even get them?

"Listen," he clapped a hand on Eddie's shoulder and shoved a candy cane in his hand. "I know you're Mr. Non-Conformity, but in this instance, you just gotta go with the flow. No one wants to give their money to the Grinch. But Jolly Old Saint Kyle? He's who they're trusting for their Christmas Gifts. You catch me?"

---

So Eddie tried.

He did. He tried.

For all of 3 days.

He wore the hat, he played the game, he did his spiel about gift certificates and BOGO, and he didn't even get a treat at the end of his shifts because you worked the opposite schedule from him. With school and all it was hard...

He just wanted to kiss you. Was that too much to ask for? It wouldn't be the most romantic place but he figured that he could set out some mistletoe by the baler and trick you into a festive smooch when you took the cardboard out. He could do that now, except he couldn't.

...but Wednesday night you'd both be closing. You'd swapped shifts with Mindy two weeks in a row so you could go to his show last week and she could go to her kids' Christmas Recital at the elementary school this week.

He definitely planned to make his move and get his reward. And give you a little reward of your own, seeing how hard you'd been working too. He wondered if this might be the chance to officially ask you to be his girl. Everyone had already made the assumption the two of you had been dating for months...why not put a name to it? And then he could take you out on a real date.

What could possibly go wrong?

Famous last words.

With a few minutes until his fifteen, anticipation building...Mike and Dustin ran into Tape World, looking out of breath and nervous.

Eddie was finishing up a special order for a customer when he saw them out of the corner of his eye. Little assholes, lurking by the door. Mitch had tried to walk up to them and give them the spiel but they waved him off.

"We're here for Eddie."

Great. This better not be about one of them missing Hellfire on Friday.

"What do you want?" he huffed, trying to be a little patient with them since it was the holidays after all. He picked on them enough at school. "It’s busy tonight."

"Well," Dustin shifted. "We were coming to see the new Ewoks movie--" Eddie snorted and grinned at them fondly. "--and we were just killing some time, when we passed by Mom's store."

Eddie couldn't help the bark of laughter he let out with that one. He told the guys to cut it out, this...continuation of calling you Mom since Halloween.

"You guys gotta stop calling her that," he scoffed. "Steve Harrington's your Mom. Get that straight."

"Well then Mom is upstairs right now flirting with not Mom," Mike sassed, hands on his hips.

Now that gave Eddie pause. Harrington? Upstairs with you?

Flirting?

“Kissing.”

Kissing?!

"What?" Eddie's voice broke a little as he reacted. He chuckled to try and alleviate some of his own nerves. "Isn't Harrington dating someone? Pretty sure I've seen him running around with that cashier from KB Toys."

"Well it was Wicks'n'Sticks."

"But we think they broke up!" Mike piped up. "Because Steve quit Scoops last week."

"Which means we need to pay full price for movie tickets again," Dustin nodded.

"But Nancy said that Robin told her…that he got a job at Santa's Workshop," Mike thumbed over his shoulder. "And we just saw Santa upstairs with Mom and she was wiping strawberry lipgloss out of his beard."

The first thought in Eddie’s head was that you didn’t wear strawberry lipgloss.

The next was that you didn’t wear strawberry lipgloss when you kissed him. What if you wore it for Steve?

No, that was ridiculous.

But unless Santa’s Workshop was operating as a functioning kissing booth and Harrington was looking for a quick and easy fix for a bunch of housewives smooching him after their kids asked for a new bike or Hot Wheels racetrack or Tina the Talking Tabby doll…there was no explanation.

Which, alright, Eddie wouldn’t normally consider himself a jealous person. An envious person. Yeah, he might have seen a little green at the edges of his vision when the kids fawned over Steve Harrington time and again, but ever since he was brought down a few pegs—humbled—he didn’t seem like the same old douchebag from Hawkins High that he used to be.

Eddie might even say Steve was kind of alright.

But you were his girlfriend…or something…

And the jealousy and possessiveness he often mocked others for over the years, as he watched meathead jocks tighten their arms around their girlfriends shoulders as he simply walked past, suddenly overcame him.

“Mitch I’m taking my fifteen!” He called towards the back of the store and strutted out of Tape World, all while Mike and Dustin called after him, fully intending to get to the bottom of this obvious misunderstanding.

---

He planned to ask you about Harrington the moment you opened the door to the loading dock, hauling the dolly of cardboard boxes behind you.

A simple "hey sweetheart, how was your day, anyone named Kris Kringle come to bother you?" and he would have had his answer and all of his doubt would have been alleviated once and for all.

Except that as soon as you appeared--with your disheveled hair and makeup, your slumped shoulders, and your groan of weariness--your eyes got brighter and you melted at the sight of him. So happy to see him, so relieved.

Then he melted.

"God, what a night," you groaned and let the dock door slam behind you. You abandoned your cardboard and walked right into his arms where he was standing by the baler; your arms wrapped around his waist and your face nuzzled into his flannel, just the way he constantly craved. "Some lady wanted an individual gift receipt for every single item she bought. Then Chrissy almost messed up this kid's piercing. Thank God I stopped her as soon as I saw."

"Oh yeah?"

"And then I swear I'm like...I just have one of those faces where everyone comes and complains to me as they're shopping. I have to hear about everyone's life story or their relationship issues, especially this one guy..."

Eddie's ears practically perked up at that.

"This one guy?" he urged you to continue, on the edge of his proverbial seat.

"I dunno," you sighed tiredly. "Not the first time he's come to me for advice. He's a nice guy and he means well, but it just seems I'm always the one. And I'm happy to help just...not during Q4, you know? He needs to figure out how to talk to his ex on his own. And not just...come in looking for extra glossy strawberry lip gloss thinking he's gonna kiss his way back into their good graces."

Extra glossy strawberry lip gloss.

Eddie wondered if he was pushing his luck if he were to ask if this nice guy was dressed in a Santa suit.

Still his heart soared nonetheless. He should have known that it was nothing to worry about, that those little shits just put two and two together to make five, and that mom wasn't actually kissing Santa Claus.

It was just a misunderstanding.

"How was your night?" you backed away from him slightly to look into his eyes. "I feel like I haven't seen you in days."

It was like a weight on his chest had been lifted, as he stared into your sparkling eyes.

"Same old, same old," he chuckled away the doubt. "Probably worse because no one knows what they want to give as gifts for Christmas and they're not listening to me."

"How dare they not take the advice of the great God of Music!" you feigned outrage.

"Gonna give me an inflated ego, sweetheart."

"You mean you don't already have one?" you teased.

Whatever fleeting bits of doubt remained disappeared as his fingers found your sides and he tickled you as punishment for the jab. Even more so as you grabbed his face and kissed him to get him to stop.

---

You'd spent the remainder of your break on Wednesday night softly kissing on the loading dock. You held hands as he walked you back to your store. Then once the mall was closed, you continued the kissing against the side of his van in the employee lot as the rest of the cars disappeared one by one.

With one last kiss goodbye, you agreed to Christmas movies and cocoa at his place on Sunday.

But as he sauntered into the mall on Sunday morning, twirling his lanyard on his finger as he headed to Tape World, Eddie swore that the universe was mocking him--

Or it was just that trademark Munson Bad Luck.

--because with a quick glance up towards your store, he saw you, holding the gate up with one arm, talking and laughing with someone conspicuously dressed in a Santa suit.

Well, he couldn't really see the holly jolly bastard that was up there making you smile, but just a quick glimpse of red velvet and white fur and all of his doubt was back.

The two of you still hadn't put a label on your relationship yet. He'd wondered the other night as he drove home if it was a little juvenile to want to call you his girlfriend. Was it too high school? What did a real life, grown up boyfriend do? He only had TV shows to go by and he figured you'd laugh if he tried to give you his '84 class ring that was stashed in his sock drawer. In fact, he was sure of it.

But how was he supposed to get past the visceral need to be your boyfriend when you were up there being wooed into potentially becoming the new Mrs. Claus yourself?

By Santa Harrington no less.

The doubt was back with a vengeance.

Kyle--decked in red onesie pajamas, butt flap and all--clocked his woes as soon as he walked into the store.

"Don't tell me she broke up with you," he guessed as he counted up the registers for the day. "I know it's not the end of the world, but you guys barely got started. What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Eddie answered honestly as he restocked the front display.

"Hmmm, actually come to think of it, that might be exactly the point."

"I don't think we were ever together, if I'm being honest."

"Dumbass," Kyle chuckled under his breath. Eddie, exasperated and just needing someone to commiserate with, explained the whole thing to his boss, who simply ate it up like a gossiping housewife and then laughed louder. "No seriously, you're a dumbass. This is the Mall at Christmas, dude. You're gonna start going cross eyed if you're looking around every corner for a suspicious Santa Claus flirting with your girl.

"Why don't you save yourself some heartache and just talk to her. You know, like you should have been doing this whole time? So, one time only because you're my buddy, I'm letting you take an extra break so you can go up there and talk to her."

And Eddie knew Kyle was right: it was all about communication.

Communication, or the lack thereof, was how the two of you had gotten this far, right? You'd known each other since May? June? And had only figured out that there was some mutual attraction in...what? September if Eddie was going to be honest with himself. Two weeks ago if he wasn't.

Lack of communication, caused by self doubt and fear, cost him...months...of getting to kiss you and hold your hand. And while he cherished the time spent being your friend, he was always gonna wish he had all that time being more.

So no, he shouldn't let it draw out much longer.

---

Unfortunately, he really was a dumbass.

So instead of taking advantage of it being so early in the day that there were practically no customers in the mall to go upstairs and clear things up with you and maybe ask you out on a real date...

Eddie booked it across the mall to Santa's Workshop.

There he stood, wasting his extra break in line with the handful of proactive parents coming in early to get their family pictures with the Big Man himself.

"What's on your wish list this year?" A little boy in a tiny navy suit tugged on the leg of his jeans and asked him.

"Uh..." He was at a loss when it came to kids and his hands wrung around his lanyard. But he couldn't just leave the little guy hanging. "A new amp...and maybe a Skeletor action figure."

The boy's eyes got wide and blabbered on about his desired Castle Greyskull while his mom ran a comb through his hair.

"Eddie?"

Eddie froze and his attention shifted from the kid, up and up green velvet clad legs then torso, to a familiar cherubic face and tousled curls covered by a pointy hat.

"Gareth?" he chuckled, staring incredulously at his friend dressed as one of Santa's Helpers. "...what is this? I didn't know you..." his eyes slid down to the little boy, then back to his friend. "...were an elf."

"I was trying to keep it under the radar," he shrugged and gestured down to his costume. "Especially since they have me dressed like this. Uh....anyway, why are you in line for Santa?"

"Uhh..." Eddie scratched the back of his neck then folded his arms across his chest. "Gotta get my wishlist in before all the good gifts are taken."

Gareth narrowed his eyes in suspicion and Eddie hoped that he would just chalk it up as another one of the million things he'd seen Eddie do over the years of their friendship.

"Can I keep the picture?" Gareth finally asked mischievously. "Or was Wayne planning on sending out a special card this year?"

"Nah man," Eddie nodded, grateful not to have to answer any more...invasive questions. "It's all yours."

"Nice." Gareth held his fist out for Eddie to bump and then let the family ahead of Eddie in to see Santa.

Which meant he was next.

Now, Eddie wasn't big on confrontation, so unless he was actively thwarting bullies and deterring them from picking on his friends, he wasn't the type to pick a fight. He also wasn't the type to have a calm and rational discussion and get to the bottom of a problem either.

So this was new territory for him.

What would he say?

What could he say?

"Now listen here Harrington," he muttered. "You...she...I..."

He ran a hand over his face and shook his head.

"I heard you're having some relationship issues," he tried again. "But you can't keep sniffing around my girl. My girl? Ugh...but what if she isn't."

There were a few flashes of a camera and by that time, Gareth was back to lead him to his execution.

"Alright, young man," he snickered. "Are you ready to meet Santa?"

"Shut up," Eddie shoved him and stalked along the carpet into the little photo area.

He was too preoccupied with the task at hand, too consumed with thoughts of you laughing with Steve Harrington and exactly what he was gonna say, that he didn't notice that it wasn't Steve under the beard and hat until he plopped himself directly on Santa's lap.

Santa groaned as Eddie settled himself and threw an arm over his shoulders.

"Aren't you a little too old for this Munson?" Santa deadpanned. "Or is this one of your little Hellfire pranks."

Eddie froze at the familiar voice, as years of hearing that grumbling gritty tone at Benny's and the police station and around town flashed through his memory.

"Hop?" he whispered in horror.

"Who were you expecting?" Hopper grunted.

"Why are you Santa?"

"...don't tell me you thought Santa Claus was real, kid?"

"No, I just--" Eddie stammered, looking for the right words. "I...Why?"

"I'm doing this to surprise Jane," he explained in exasperation. "Buddy of mine runs Santa's workshop and Joyce said she'd bring the kids to the mall today, maybe get a picture. So I pulled some strings. I don't know what to get her for Christmas; she's keeping her wish list under wraps."

It all started making sense for Eddie. Jane was friends with Dustin and the others so he'd seen her around Hawkins High, even though she wasn't interested in DnD. She was a good kid, if a little shy. Of course Hop was doing this for his adopted daughter, wanting to give her a perfect Christmas.

"But you...were up at Claire's earlier?" Eddie narrowed his eyes, the reason for him being there still eluding explanation.

"Because that's Jane's favorite store. I swear I'm single handedly keeping them in business with the number of earrings and scrunchies I buy every week. The manager promised she'd keep an eye out if Jane and Joyce popped in today, let me know everything Janie was looking at if this ended up being a bust."

Hopper shot Eddie a pointed glare and Eddie, correctly, looked ashamed of himself.

"Alright, less talking," the elf at the camera rolled their eyes and waved for Hop and Eddie to scoot closer. "More smiling. Say jingle!"

There was a flash and a polaroid was shoved into Eddie's hand as Hopper shooed him away.

---

"What is this?" you pulled away from Eddie's soft, warm lips as your hands felt something foreign in his back pocket.

The Year Without Santa Claus wasn't the most romantic Christmas movie, but Eddie was feeling a certain type of resentment when he had chosen the movies at Family Video, and it was mostly going ignored in favor of cuddling and kissing and sweet words.

Until your hands worked their way downward to pull Eddie's weight further into you, and you found--

"Did you go take a picture with Santa?" you giggled as you inspected the Polaroid. Eddie groaned and rested his head on your shoulder. "Can I keep this?"

"Believe it or not," he sighed, "Gareth already has dibs."

"May I ask why?"

"Because he likes to ruin my life. Pretty sure he's gonna take it to Fox Photos and get it made into t-shirts."

"No, why did you go take a picture with Santa silly," you shoved him. "It's really sweet."

He turned to look up into your eyes, to get the courage to just...tell you how silly he was being...to ask you out for fuck's sake...but the way you looked at him, the softness of your gaze, the way you reached out and pushed his bangs out of his eyes...he didn't want to ruin it all.

"I promised I was getting into the holiday spirit didn't I?" he shrugged pathetically. "Couldn't let the opportunity pass without getting photo evidence."

You stared fondly at the picture for another moment and then pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"It's perfect."

---

After Eddie had chickened out, you planned your get-togethers for the rest of December.

Or rather, the lack of them.

With finals coming up and the semester coming, and then mall hours getting later and later the closer to Christmas it got, the opportunities to hang out became sparse.

The best the two of you could unfortunately--or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it--come up with was Christmas Eve.

You'd fight off those final last-minute holiday shoppers, and come 6pm when the mall closed, you'd both be off to Benny's for the special pot roast dinner that he put up for anyone who didn't have family to go to, or didn't want to go see the family they had.

With Rick out making the rounds, and Wayne scheduled for that sweet time-and-a-half holiday double most years, Eddie usually ended up at Benny's anyway.

This year, with you, it would be perfect.

He just had to get through the next few weeks without a hiccup.

The universe, once again, decided to test him.

Mock him.

It was almost comedic at this point.

Santa was everywhere.

Of course, he would be, it was Christmastime but...everywhere in relation to you.

Thankfully, it wasn't Harrington he needed to worry about.

However, that meant it wasn't just Santa he needed to worry about.

It was all of the mall Santas.

Hop had shown his face in the red suit and beard once or twice more and scared the life out of him. Especially when Eddie walked smack into him on the way to drop an Orange Julius for you on the night you closed.

The church's community choir had spent one Saturday afternoon caroling by the Sears, all dressed as Santa Claus. As the two of you made your rounds window-shopping and chatting on your break, one of the Santas grabbed you and spun you around in a circle during a jazzy rendition of The 12 Days of Christmas where you, apparently, were the true love bestowing the many gifts.

How Eddie let a bunch of Santas serenade you before he got a chance to, he would never know. Nor would he let himself live it down.

And then one awful day, he found you sitting at your usual table in the food court with a charismatic older man in a Santa suit--sans hat or beard. The man sat in Eddie's usual seat and leaned quite close, making you look entirely uncomfortable; he couldn't help puff up his chest to ward off the intruder by the time he reached the table.

"This is Henry," you introduced as politely as you could. "He's gonna be the manager at the new Spencer's store when it opens in January."

"Figured I would do the neighborly thing and just say hi," he chuckled and looked down at his attire. "Oh? This? Figured that this would be a great way to do something nice for the community in the mean time."

"That's great," Eddie sniffed judgmentally, getting a weird feeling about this Henry. "Nice to meet you. You're in my spot though."

"Eddie!" Your eyes went wide and you bit your lip to stifle your laughter.

"Hey, nope, totally get it," Henry held his hands up and stood from the seat. "Those lunch breaks are short, especially when you want to spend them with friends and not a stranger like me. Nice to meet you guys. See you around."

Eddie dropped into his seat and you waited until Henry was well out of earshot to scold him.

"That was not nice."

"I'm not nice," Eddie grumbled. "He was looking at you weird, like he wanted to steal your soul or something. Did you not get creepy stalker murderer from him?"

"No, I totally did," you nodded. "He was like...dead behind the eyes. I know, that's awful to say. Anyway, are you feeling soft pretzels and cheese because I--"

"Are you a Santa magnet or something?" Eddie interrupted you and you looked like a deer in the headlights.

"What?" you giggled. "What do you mean?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Seems like they're just always around."

"It's Christmas, Eddie," you frowned in confusion. "Even I have a little Santa dress that I'm gonna wear to work. Everyone's just in the spirit."

"Yeah well..."

"I thought you were trying to get in the spirit too," you reminded him and then reached over and plucked at the fair isle sweater Kyle had gotten the whole TapeWorld team so they could match for a group picture. "Exhibit A, Mr. Grinch."

"I am trying," he whined. "It's just hard to be extra jolly when someone's always sniffing around your girl."

"Am I your girl?" you asked. You were obviously teasing him, but still...Eddie froze. "You haven't asked me if I want to be yet."

Everything inside of him was on red alert at that moment.

Evasive maneuvers? No, that was a bad idea. All power to the forward shields, which were holding but weakened. He didn't have enough firepower for this.

"No..." he replied awkwardly. "I haven't."

The way your expression dropped broke him, and he knew he had fucked up.

---

"I'm disowning you," Kyle shook his head in disappointment by the time Eddie got back from lunch. "In fact. We all are."

"Jesus Christ," Eddie groaned.

"Mitch! Paulie! Eddie's disowned."

"You can't fire him, he's closing tonight," Paulie argued.

"Not fired," Kyle pointed across the store with authority. "Disowned. And such a shame; Edward Tapeworldington, first of his name...you shall never be king."

Eddie stewed in the laughter of his coworkers.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?" Kyle threw an arm around his shoulder. "You could have asked her out right then and there. Been like 'hey you wanna be my girlfriend?' And it would have been like...the happiest day of your life. Hell, happiest day of my life. Cuz then I wouldn't have to hear you bitch about it all the time."

"Didn't know I complained that much," Eddie muttered self-consciously.

"All the time," one of the other guys chuckled.

"It's not complaining," Kyle corrected. "It's just that...we want you to be happy. As cliche as this sounds, we're like a family right? Hey, psst, all of you? Savor it, you're only gonna hear me say it once.

"If one of us is miserable, we're all miserable," he continued. "And you've been kind of a miserable piece of shit for a while, Ed. I'm sure your buddies would tell you the same thing. Lovesick puppy act's only gonna get you so much sympathy until you're the one getting in your own way."

Eddie felt his stomach turn because getting in his own way really did hit the nail on the head.

He thought about it for an eternity--really only 30 seconds--went about asking himself what had held him up for all this time. Fear of rejection obviously but even he started to think that some of the things that had gotten him so caught up were just...excuses.

Even now that he knew you liked him just the way he liked you, they were just excuses.

"So why can't I just...say something?" he finally asked.

Kyle clapped his hand down on Eddie's shoulder twice and then turned so he could head out for his own break.

"Only you can answer that question kid."

---

"Hey do you wanna go out sometime? Ugh."

So he practiced.

"So remember how we're supposed to go to Benny's for Christmas Eve? No."

For days he practiced.

"You know how the first time we went out for pizza I mentioned it wasn't a date? Well this one is. No god, you're an idiot."

Through the rest of the semester, during band practice, he even almost flubbed the lyrics at the gig at the Hideout on the Tuesday before Christmas. There were only so many days left until your dinner together at Benny's and he really wanted it to be your first official date.

But if Eddie was gonna fix this, if he was gonna ask you out, he needed to get it right.

"Hey sweetheart." He muttered as he counted down Paulie's register at the start of his closing shift. "I know I really flubbed it last time we talked but I really like you and I want to know if you'd be my girlfriend.

"We've already kissed enough for it," he added at the end and then winced.

"How about you just lose that last bit," Paulie offered beside him and signed a few receipts. "And then it's perfect."

"Yeah?" Eddie asked hopefully. "Alright. Cool. Great."

He would do it after work tonight.

"Edddiiiiieeee!!!" a screeching voice called from inside the mall and Eddie and Paulie both watched as a Santa with flailing arms ran into TapeWorld. "Eddie man, I really need a favor. I need to use your bathroom."

"What the f--Gareth?" Eddie looked around the store to make sure he wasn't just hallucinating. Gareth was already shedding the hat and the fake beard and unbuckling the wide belt from around his waist. "What the hell are you doing here? Why are you Santa? I thought you were an elf?"

"There's no time to explain," Gareth panted. "But there's a line through the food court to use the bathroom and I couldn't wait, so you either need to let me into your back room or I'm gonna exorcise a demon right here on your sales floor man. Please."

"Ugh," Eddie wrinkled his nose and pointed towards the stockroom. "Yeah, sure whatever. Gross."

"I owe you one," Gareth tossed the fluffy jacket of his costume over the counter at Eddie and then ran into the stockroom. Hopefully just in time.

"So glad I'm cleaning the bathrooms tomorrow night," Paulie scrunched his nose in disgust. "Alright, you and Mitch need anything before I go?"

Eddie was about to say no, was about to send Paulie on his way.

But then he looked down at the coat and got an idea.

An awful idea.

Eddie Munson got a wonderful, awful idea.

"Actually, now that you mention it," Eddie grinned and shrugged the coat on, then the belt, and as he glanced up at Paulie, his coworker groaned, clearly able to read Eddie's mind.

"I thought we agreed no more gimmicks," Paulie exclaimed. "You're just gonna go up and talk to her."

"Yeah," Eddie nodded. "I, Santa Claus, am gonna go up and talk to her. I'm not even gonna take my full break, just five minutes, and then you can leave."

"This isn't gonna work man."

"None of my plans ever do," Eddie shrugged and pulled Paulie into a big hug. "But if it does, I owe you my whole life."

And off he went, across the mall, and up the escalator. He adjusted the coat and the hat and then remembered that he forgot the beard on the counter.

No matter, of course; he really didn't want to get fake beard in his mouth when he planted one on you.

There was practically a line out the door by the time he got to your store. He was able to see you through the window, on the register checking one customer out after another.

You were in the zone, but you didn't look stressed. You smiled a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes, but every so often Mindy would crack a joke beside you and it did.

"This actually might be the worst idea," he muttered to himself.

But it was too late.

It was now or never.

You were gonna kill him.

Some of the younger kids in the store started muttering in excitement when they spotted him, only for their parents to say "that's not the real Santa" and "Santa doesn't wear ripped jeans" but you were oblivious until he was standing right beside you at the counter.

"Excuse me," he took a breath and lowered his voice like he would during Hellfire. "I heard there was something special on your wish list this year, young lady."

"Sorry sir," you answered without a thought. "I'll be with you in a second."

"You can't even take a second to help jolly old Saint Nicholas?"

You turned your head, obviously about to tell him off as you schooled your features into something plastic and robotic and customer friendly, until you realized it was him. Then something visibly short-circuited in your brain and he smiled brightly.

"I'd like to apologize to all the boys and girls shopping tonight," he announced to the customers theatrically. "But I have very important Christmas business with our dear Store Manager here. It'll only take a minute."

He was surprised when a few of them started laughing and clapping.

"Alright Santa," you finally composed yourself to answer, arms crossing over your chest in annoyance. "What official Christmas business can I help you with?"

"Well, I was reading over the wishlist that you sent up to the North Pole," he explained. "I don't have it with me, you see. Had to leave it down in the workshop so the rest of the elves could work on the scrunchies and the lipgloss you wanted."

"Uh huh."

"And the new windshield wipers that you refuse to let Santa replace."

You rolled your eyes and waved your hand to get him to go on.

"But there was one thing on the list that...maybe it's these tired old eyes--"

"Old?" you giggled and reached out to tug on his curls. "Your hair isn't even white Santa."

A bunch of nearby kids boo'd.

"Clock's ticking," you whispered. "Get on with it, or I'm gonna have to kick you out Ed."

"--maybe these tired old eyes weren't able to read. See I thought it just said friend. But my trusty elves Kyle and Paulie and Mitch assure me it says boyfriend."

Mindy cooed an awww from beside you and Eddie felt his confidence grow.

"So, Miss Store Manager," Eddie held his hand out to you. "Which one is it? Because I happen to have some high quality...boyfriend material that I can use to make your wish come true. Is that what you'd truly like this Christmas?"

Mindy immediately slammed a hand onto your shoulder and squealed, and although your lips were clamped shut and nose was scrunched, Eddie was sure that you were holding back a smile.

It was the longest 30 seconds of his life.

"Yes, actually," you finally responded. "That's exactly what I want for Christmas Santa."

Eddie's heart surely grew 3 sizes in that very moment as a bunch of customers clapped. And he was eagerly about to jump forward and plant a kiss right on your lips when your hand slammed against his chest to hold him back.

You laughed and your eyes sparkled with promise as you pointed to the door, a silent understanding that you'd continue this conversation later. But for now?

"Get out of my store!"

---

Eddie found you leaning against the side of his van when he clocked out. Your car was parked beside his, running idle, as you waited. The radio softly played the Nutcracker Suite and you hummed along to it.

"Alright," he began when he got close enough. "I know that what I did was a big no-no, but I think everyone was in good spirits about it."

"You're lucky they were," you glared at him in--what he hoped was-- fake annoyance. "I really would hate it if my DM got a call complaining about that. Then I'd have to break up with you before we were actually even together."

"I wouldn't blame you," he winced and then looked down at his feet. "So...do you wanna go out sometime?"

"Like a date?"

"Yeah," he glanced up at you and then back down at his feet. He shuffled them back and forth. "Dinner at Benny's on the 24th? How does that sound."

"Ugh, I dunno," you sing-songed and took a few steps to close the distance between you. You grabbed the lapels of his jacket and shook him a few times.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he questioned as you lifted his hair and turned his head back and forth.

"I'm looking to see if this was the quality boyfriend material that Santa just promised me a few hours ago."

"Hey now," he grabbed your hands in his. "I most certainly am. We've just...been friends for so long. I didn't know if..."

"I do," you answered before he could finish.

"But what if I..."

"You aren't."

"I was gonna say 'what if I fart under the blankets while we're cuddling.'" He deadpanned. "See, this is why it's important not to make assumptions."

"Alright, Fartmeister," you challenged him. "If you want to Dutch Oven your girlfriend, I guess I can't fight you. But don't be shocked when I do the same thing to you eventually."

"That's all I want from a girlfriend," he said. "A strong sense of retaliation and justice."

"Alright then."

"Alright." He shook your hand like you were making some kind of deal. "Christmas Eve at Benny's for our first date."

"Sounds perfect," you agreed.

"Good."

You launched yourself in his arms and pressed your lips to his and he swore, probably for the first time in his life, he believed in the spirit of Christmas.

---

Next Chapter: Standard Operating Procedures 1.06

#promptparty #Eddie munson x reader #store manager verse #eddie munson fluff #Eddie munson fic #stranger things fic #Eddie munson #christmas fic

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munsonhoneybaby · 8 months

Note

my love!!! That final part 🥹 you are a STAR! so good. the way you write dialogue, your Eddie especially... he's so so so lovely to read. somehow you keep his edge but all the while he's the nicest fucking guy to ever walk the earth!!!

if one day you're feeling a blurb about them or something, I'd love to read the first meeting with Wayne - I think it could be so funny and sweet. and honestly I just need an endless stream of that version of Eddie and his sweet nothings and his fondness 🥺 obsessed with everything u do WOW

you’re so sweet !! i'm so happy you enjoyed, thank you so much for reading and sending in this ask !!

series masterlist

“Are you sure about this? I feel terrible taking up his day off with this, he should be enjoying his free time.” Frowning nervously, you picked at a string on your jeans. Though you’d been to their trailer three more times since the first, you’d yet to run into his uncle Wayne. It wasn’t necessarily intentional, but you didn’t particularly want to meet him the morning after sleeping at his home unannounced. So, after making a few passive comments to Eddie about wanting to meet him, you were pleased when Eddie told you Wayne wanted to have lunch with both of you. But now, the nerves were starting to settle in.

“He will enjoy this. He’s been dyin’ to meet you, baby, believe me. I already told you, he’s gonna love you.” Taking your hand over the console, he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “Besides, we’re just goin’ to lunch at the diner. It’s not a big deal.” Pulling into the open spot next to Wayne’s truck, he put the van in park and looked over at you. “Ready?”

You blew out a breath, “Yeah, I think so.”

As he always did, Eddie got out first and opened your door for you. When you went inside, he instantly spotted Wayne, standing from the booth to greet the two of you. “Hey, Wayne.”

“Hey, kid,” He replied, pulling him into a solid hug. With a subtle yet warm smile, Wayne said your name. You held out a hand to shake but instead were given a fatherly embrace much more careful than the one he’d given his nephew. “I’m glad I could finally meet the young lady makin’ this troublemaker so happy.”

“It’s great to meet you, too. I hope you didn’t have to cancel any big plans to make time for me today,” You jested politely.

He gave a quiet laugh in response and said, “Of course not. Sleepin’ on the couch in the living room ain’t more important than this.” The waitress came to take orders, service coming quick due to the few customers in the diner. “I hear you listen to the same kind’a music as Eddie,” Wayne chimed amiably. “You like his music, too?”

“Of course,” You smile, “I think he’s incredibly talented. I love seeing him perform.” The rockstar in question was embarrassedly hiding his flushed face in his hands.

“I’d come to his shows if I could, but I’m always at work,” Wayne expressed regretfully. “I hear him in his room all the time, but I’ve only seen ‘im on stage once or twice since that middle school talent show. I’m glad he’s got someone he cares about there to support him all the time now.”

The food came, saving Eddie from any further spotlight, and you did your best to continue making conversation between bites. “So, did Eddie get any of his music taste from you?”

“Oh, he’d never admit it, but he tolerates some old country music thanks to me. All that metal and rock stuff is good ‘n I like that he likes it, but it’s not really my speed.”

“I’ve gotta say, it’s a little hard picturing Eds listening to country music,” You chuckle.

“Just when I’m with him,” Eddie specified.

“I’m keeping him open-minded.” The waitress placed a single check on the table and Wayne was quick to open his wallet.

“No, please– let me,” You tried to stop him.

“I would never let a lady pay for a meal. This is my treat, darlin’.” It was becoming clearer and clearer how much of an influence your boyfriend’s uncle had had on his upbringing. Handing the cash and the bill to Eddie, he nodded toward the register. “Go take care’a this.” Eddie looked over at you, but you just smiled reassuringly, so he headed for the counter. Before you could start into another line of polite conversation, Wayne spoke. His voice was gruff, quiet. There was sentiment in his tone, though he tried to hide it. “I really am glad you and Eddie found each other. I’m sure you know by now that not many people in this town give ‘im a chance. I would never wanna embarrass the boy, but he hasn’t exactly introduced me to many girls in his life. I’m glad he’s found one that’s a little more like him– that understands him.”

After glancing back at Eddie, handing over the money for your meal with a kind smile, you gave Wayne a fond look. “He cares a lot about you too, you know. It means the world to him that you took over when his Dad went to jail. And I don’t know if it means anything coming from me, but I think you did an amazing job with him.”

You could’ve sworn you saw a tear well in his eye, but he looked away briefly before you could see for sure. It didn’t seem like people acknowledged his parenting effort often.“You’re a sweet young woman. You’re real good for him.”

“I appreciate that,” You responded honestly.

You both started to box up the leftover food and– just before Eddie came back to the table– Wayne added, “I’ll have to show you the few baby pictures I’ve still got around of ‘im,” making you chuckle.

Eyes narrowing slightly as he gave Wayne his change, Eddie asked, “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing,” You answered playfully as you stood from the booth. His uncle did the same after leaving a generous tip for the kind pregnant woman who’d waited on you. The three of you headed for the parking lot, stopping briefly to say your goodbyes before you split up. “You’ll have to let me cook for you sometime,” You insisted.

With another one of those barely-there smiles, Wayne clasped a hand over Eddie’s shoulder paternally. “You’ve got a good one here, boy, you’d better take good care’a her.”

Before he could respond, you assured him, “He does, Mr. Munson.”

“Oh, please, never call me that. It’s Wayne. It was nice meeting you. Don’t be a stranger, alright?”

“Of course, I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.”

Once you were back in the van with Eddie, he put the key in the ignition before pausing and looking over at you. “So, what did you two talk about while I was gone?”

“None of your business, nosy.”

Dramatically starting the van, he backed out of the parking spot as he replied, “Y’know what? Fine. Now I’m not gonna tell you about Jeff’s date with that chick from his calc class.”

“Hey, wait, c’mon–”

———————————————————————

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

#too much in common #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson x f!reader #asks #eddie munson

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9haharharley1 · 9 months

Note

for that promt thing could you do Eating messily for pompep?

I'm so sorry this took so long! The last few days have been one errand-running nightmare after another, but I'm at work now and finally have a moment to write! Here's something short and sweet!

---

Danny really shouldn't have been surprised by the look on Vlad's face when he plopped the bag of Nasty Burger goodness on the kitchen island, and really, he wasn't. He outright laughed at the glare Vlad gave the semi-greasy bag, only to laugh harder as Vlad leveled that glare on him.

"Oh, come on, Fruitloop!" he teased, taking a seat across from the older man on one of the bar stools. He reached for the bag and pulled out a burger and fries, holding them out. "You used to be a poor peasant kid like me! One burger isn't gonna kill you."

"It can kill half of me," Vlad muttered. Danny laughed, Vlad wrinkling his nose to hide his smile. He shook the burger and fries at the man until Vlad sighed. He took them reluctantly. "Oh, if you insist! Honestly, Daniel, when you said you would be paying for dinner, I expected something that at least wouldn't clog my arteries."

Danny leveled a look at the man as he pulled out his own burger and fries. "Vlad, I'm a struggling high school student. I'm not exactly rolling in cash for anything better."

"You could have just asked, dear boy," said Vlad. "I can give you whatever you need to buy a decent meal every now and then."

A blush came to Danny's cheeks, his insides feeling a little squirmy from the sincere words; a sincerity he had yet to get used to. "Kinda ruins the point of me buying dinner," he muttered back. He pulled his soda out of the drink carrier, pushing the other to Vlad. "Gotta make up for all the tutoring and training somehow."

Vlad smiled at him, soft and delighted, and it made Danny's face burn hotter. "It's no trouble at all, little badger, and you know it. You don't have to pay me back except with your company. Having you around has made this old manor feel a little less lonely." He unwrapped his burger, missing the way Danny stared back at him with wide eyes. Vlad's lip curled in disgust. "Although, I must insist on just cooking from now on, if it's all the same to you."

"It's not that bad, Vlad," Danny said, hoping his blush wasn't so obvious as he took a big bite of his burger. "At least try it!"

"At least swallow before speaking, Daniel," Vlad shot back, and Danny sometimes hated being a gutter-minded teenager because his thoughts immediately turned to other things he could swallow. He choked, inhaling a small piece of burger and immediately coughing, doubling over the side of the counter as he hit his chest. Vlad looked on in concern, but Danny waved him off, thankful to now have some kind of excuse for his reddened face. He took a large gulp of his soda. "Looks like I was right about the half-dying."

Danny's coughing turned to choked laughter. "Oh, just eat the damn burger!"

Vlad rolled his eyes. "Oh, very well." And he took a bite.

Danny watched as the older halfa's eyebrow hitched, a small noise if approval escaping him. The younger man smirked. "Told ya it was good."

Vlad glared, having the decency to swallow his food before replying, "Don't be a brat, Daniel."

Danny's smirk widened. "What are you gonna do about it?"

Eyebrow raised, Vlad didn't reply, but there was a glint in his eyes as he stared back at Danny, one that made him flush and feel hot all over. Vlad took another bite of his burger, a bit of sauce catching on the corner of his mouth.

Without thinking, Danny leaned over the table, reaching out to gently wipe at the spot. Vlad froze as he did, blue eyes dark and unreadable. Danny slowly sat back down, his own eyes wide, unable to hide his scarlet cheeks.

"Um..." Why had he done that?! "You, uh... had some"- he pointed the sauce on his finger towards his own mouth. Vlad continued to stare.

Then he reached out, gripping Danny's wrist before the younger could wipe his hand. He pulled the smaller hand back to him, Danny having to stretch over the island awkwardly. His face was aflame, feeling about ready to explode as Vlad kept staring into his eyes. Sweat beaded at the back of his neck, and he actually squeaked when the man brought his finger to his mouth, licking the bit of sauce from the tip. Danny bit his lip, eyes wide as Vlad maintained eye-contact the whole time, jerking his hand away when he finally let go. Danny snatched it back, his whole body feeling like it was on fire.

"Wha-?" he croaked out, and Vlad smirked at him. His eyes were heavy with promise as he stared at Danny.

"You're right, Daniel," he uttered, voice low and dark, a bit of fang poking through his grin. "The burger isn't that bad at all."

Danny exhaled a shaky breath.

"I... uh... Bathroom!" he whisper-shouted, practically tripping out of his chair, blushing madly as he heard Vlad's dark chuckle echo after him.

#harley writes #pompep #pompous pep #danny phantom #danny fenton #vlad masters #vlad plasmius #my writing #fic #pre relationship

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withahappyrefrain · 2 years

Note

okay so we’re all attracted to Peter who’s good with kids but what about peter being in awe of reader who’s good with kids and his breeding kink is ACTIVATED

Omg yes I love everything about this. 16+, suggestive

"Babe, should we get penne or rigatoni? They look the same is there even a difference?" Peter asked, holding up the two boxes of pasta.

Normally, your eyes would be on Peter.

But somehow, in the midst of all the chaos and chatter of the grocery store, your eyes zoned in on one thing. Or one person.

A little girl. She couldn't have been older than four. By the way she was clinging onto her stuffed bunny as she looked around the store, her bottom lip jutting out, one thing was clear.

She was lost.

You made your way towards her slowly, offering her what you hoped was a comforting smile. The girl looked down at the ground, clinging onto her stuffed animal.

You crouched down so you were at eye level with her, "Hey dear. I'm Miss Y/N. What's your name?"

"Emily."

"Emily, are you lost?"

The girl looked up at you, tears welling up in her big eyes as she nodded her head, "I can't find mommy."

"Sometime's that happens. Why don't we go to the cash register? They can let your mommy know that you're there," You explained.

"How? I dunno where mommy is." The way she asked this in all sincerity simultaneously broke your heart as well as made you want to giggle. You were able to avoid doing the latter, not wanting to stress the child out.

"Well Emily, they have a microphone and they can say into the microphone that you're here," you told her, "Do you and....what's your bunny's name?"

"Mr. Snuffles."

You smiled, "What a wonderful name! Did you name him all by yourself?"

A small smile appeared on the little girl's face as she nodded her head, "His name is Mr. Snuffles because bunny's noses move a lot! Like they're about to sneeze!"

"They do! I think you picked the perfect name for him. Would you and Mr. Snuffles like to come with me to the cashier so we can find your mommy?"

Emily nodded her head, grabbing your hand. As you two walked, you went past Peter, who was looking at you with a lovesick expression.

-------------

After making an announcement over the store's PA, Emily was quickly reunited with her mom. You received many thank you's from her and Emily, who gave you a hug before leaving.

As you waved goodbye to your new friend, Peter wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to his body.

"You're gonna be a great mom," He whispered, pressing his lips against your forehead.

"It was nothing," You shrugged, trying to ignore the heat his comment had sent throughout your body.

"I mean it." Peter's voice was now low. The hand he had on your waist was getting dangerously close to your ass. You tilted your head back to see him looking at you, his bottom lip pulled by his teeth.

Which meant one thing.

"Peter, are you turned on by me rescuing a kid?" You whispered, not wanting nearby shoppers to hear that sentence with zero context.

"I just saw how amazing my fiancé is with children. I think it's only natural I now want to go home and practice the art of reproduction." He pulled your hips closer to his, allowing you to feel the bulge forming on his pants.

"Can you keep it in your pants until we're done with grocery shopping?" You were trying to ignore the kisses Peter was playing on your jawline. To onlookers, it looked like a very sweet display of affection.

But you knew exactly what he was trying to do. And fuck, it was working.

"If we go home right now, you gotta order the groceries this time. Not me," You told him. You weren't going to pass up the chance to fuck like animals with your fiancé. You also weren't going to do another week of take-out.

"Deal," He growled in your ear, "Now let's go home and practice."

#my writing #peter parker oneshot #peter parker drabble #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x reader #tasm peter x you #tasm!spiderman x reader #tasm peter x reader #tasm!peter imagine #tasm!peter x you #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!spiderman x you

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dumdumsun · 2 years

Text

To Nightfall

A/N: Welcome back! I just wanna give a heads up that you guys should be getting used to long chapters for this series. I got PASSIONATE!!

Warnings: slight sexual content, implications of sexual content, mentions of blood, violence and death (Viktor identifies as female in this chapter because I don't want to take away from his coming out)

Word Count: 5561

—————————————

Chapter 2: The Hotel Obsidian

“Oh, Hotel Obsidian. I missed you, you slutty old dame.”

In the middle of a busy downtown area stood a tall building, sporting numerous windows for numerous rooms on numerous floors. After the Hargreeves siblings had piled into the revolving doors all together and argued with each other while pushing through the door, they spilled into the lobby of the hotel. The decor was questionable, with elegant pillars glowing blue and chandeliers that twinkled, but tacky carpeting and furniture. Still, somehow, it managed to make sense for Klaus’s hideout.

“Absorb her. Absorb her into your bosom,” He led his siblings further into the lobby as they all observed their surroundings, including the odd characters spread throughout the room, all staring at them with measuring eyes. “You know, ‘cause back in her heyday, she played host to world leaders.”

The longer Klaus continued to speak, the more attention the siblings received, hotel guests that seemed to come from all walks of life stopping their conversations and staring them down.

“Roosevelt, Gandhi, Stalin, Gorbachev, Castro, King Olaf of Norway, one of the Kim Jongs, Tito, Dalai Lama, Elvis, and not one, but two Kardashians, allegedly. Wouldn’t that- Where you going?”

He cut himself off when Allison walked right past him.

“I gotta make a call.”

Klaus shrugged and turned back to everyone else. “Nowadays, she’s just a flophouse, a party house for those of us not looking to be judged by society’s rules and norms.”

“You mean, a place to hide?” Luther raised a brow.

“Exactly! It’s perfect! And the best part of it is, she’s gonna look after us, no questions asked. Never ever. Right?”

At the feeling of eyes on her, (Y/N) turned to the right to find a man peeking at her from behind a newspaper. As soon as he was found out, he quickly covered his face again. On the other side of the room, two richly dressed individuals turned and whispered to each other, all while keeping their eyes on them as Klaus urged his siblings towards the front desk.

“This place is weird.” Vanya commented as she followed.

Five began to follow, pulling his love with him by the hand. Her eyes continued to travel around and she met every glance thrown her way. For a place that lacked judgement, she sure did feel like she was being read like a children’s book. She squeezed Five’s hand after they both had returned a look from a very interesting individual who sat alone with a smoking pipe.

When they reached the desk, Klaus immediately rang the bell. An older man in uniform approached them with a frown. Klaus gasped with a smile when he saw him. “Chet! Mon frère! It’s so great to see you. I’d like my usual suite, por favor.”

Chet placed his finger on the bell to silence its faint ringing. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“See? Told you. Discreet.” He looked to Diego and Luther, who were happily petting the small pup sat in a dog bed beside where Chet stood.

“Please, stop scaring my dog.” Chet demanded, Diego and Luther moving their hands away. (Y/N) gently smiled at the pup and leaned closer, reminded of her sweet golden retriever who she was forced to leave in the sixties.

“What’s his name?”

“Mr Pennycrumb.”

She froze and stared up at Chet with narrowed eyes, who only stared back at her with a knowing look, a very small smirk on his face. She slowly leaned away from the dog.

“We need some rooms, please.” Vanya spoke up.

“Super,” Chet picked up a sign that read, Cash Up Front, and placed it down for them to see. “And how will we be paying today?”

It dawned on them that no one had any money. Giving up their lives in the sixties and hiding from the government didn’t exactly give them any time to work a shift and earn a check. Luther looked around at his family before puffing out some air. “Fine. Empty your pockets.”

The six dug into their pockets before holding out what they had in their hands. Five had bits of lint, (Y/N) found hair clips, Vanya held out a couple peppermint candies, Diego clenched his knife in his fist and Klaus cupped a few packaged condoms in his hands.

“Condom?”

“I don’t think you can exchange those for cash.”

“Put the knife away!”

“Why do you have so many hair clips?”

“They’re cute.”

“Why do I have a hairnet?”

Chet rolled his eyes with no amusement as he watched them struggle to come up with any kind of currency. “Oh. Alright… Ooh,” Luther perked up, unfastening his watch from his wrist and holding it out to the man. “What does this get us?”

He took the watch from Luther and brought out a small magnifying device, holding it up to his eye to inspect the watch closer. Not even a second later, he set them both down and walked over to the cubbies behind him. Allison silently rejoined her family as Chet plucked out two keys and walked back over to the group.

“Two rooms,” He set them down on the desk. “Mazel tov.”

“Awesome.” Klaus smiled, picking up one of the keys.

“Alright,” Allison swiped up the other. “Well, let’s Brady Bunch this shit.”

As her siblings began walking away, (Y/N) grabbed Five by the hand to stop him in his tracks. She turned to Chet with a kind smile and whipped a wad of cash out of her pocket. “How much for a single?”

“Where did you get all of that?” Five asked as she and Chet exchanged cash and key. (Y/N) turned to her love with a sly smile.

“I was the heir of billions in another life, remember? Come on. We need to actually be alone for once.”

She cocked her head to the side as she sped away to catch up with the family. With a breathy chuckle, Five followed her until the two were caught up and approaching the elevator with everyone else.

“Uh, meet back in the bar in two hours so we can make a plan.” Five said as Diego ran to stand in front of them.

“I have a plan,” He stopped at the top of the stairs just before the elevator. “We attack the Sparrows, and we take back our house, and then we punch Dad a bit until he admits that we’re better and he loves us more. Boom! Done! We’re wasting time!” He desperately tried to convince them, but they were all walking past him.

“Relax,” Klaus patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, man. Those shit birds are staying put for awhile. I bet they’re as wiped as we are.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” He stepped into the elevator with the rest of his deflated siblings. “I mean, kicking our asses looked exhausting.”

-------------------------------------------------

In the Sparrow Academy residence, seven treadmills were lined up side-by-side, each in use by a member of the Academy. Christopher rolled in a circle high in the air with Marcus running in place beside him, then Ben, (Y/N), Fei, Sloane, Alphonso walking beside her and then Jayme running beside him. Each Sparrow wore a workout outfit in their own style, but in the matching red. As the siblings exercised as a unit, they discussed their recent encounter with their house intruders.

“Big one is strong but slow, possibly stupid.” Marcus informed. “Some sort of… simian hybrid.”

“Who took the little jumpy guy?” Sloane asked.

“Me,” Jayme answered. “Just gave him a spanking and sent him to school.”

“Hey-oh!” Alphonso exclaimed before the two of them fist-bumped, Christopher giving a witty remark.

“The skinny one is their weak link.” Fei pointed out.

“Unless hiding behind couches shouting, “Where’s my daddy?” is his superpower.” Ben scoffed as Grace silently walked in with a tray full of protein shakes for them.

Marcus side-eyed his sister. “Don’t think I don’t know about you and your little double, (Y/N).”

(Y/N) widened her eyes, but didn’t falter her pace as she turned her head to her brother. “M-Marcus, I-I had her-”

“Bullshit. You expect me to believe that when she nearly choked you to death? Then you managed to get spit on by Jayme.”

Jayme craned her neck to mockingly smile at (Y/N). “The idiot got in my way. As usual.”

“You can’t keep disappointing us with these mistakes, (Y/N). It’s getting old and frankly, it’s pissing me off.”

“I-”

“Shut up and just do as you’re told.”

(Y/N) turned to Ben with pleading eyes, wordlessly asking him to back her up and save her from the wrath of their siblings. But Ben made a point to not even look her way. Instead, he slowed his treadmill to a stop and looked to Marcus. “Enough post-gaming. They disrespected us, Marcus. We need to be out there finding these freaks and taking ‘em out.”

“Oh, you mean like this?” Number One turned on the television before them to display video footage of Vanya blasting them back with her shockwave. Everyone turned off their treadmills (Christopher stopped spinning) as he walked to stand before them, assessing each and everyone one of them with a hard gaze. “Can someone explain how you got your asses handed to you in thirty seconds? Do you have any idea what would happen to our reputation if anyone had seen that?!”

No one responded, but they all stared ahead in fear and defeat.

“I mean, we haven’t faced decent enemies for years. This could be good for us. Good for business. But only if we’re smart with our next move.”

Grace hadn’t received any thanks or appreciation for setting their glasses up, nonetheless she still smiled and exited without a word. Right as she left, Reginald entered and cleared his throat to announce his presence. “You summoned, Number One?”

“Sit.”

Reginald complied, unlike any other Reginald in any other timeline.

“You spent time with these people. What’s your assessment?”

“Unimpressive. Neanderthals on a day pass. Cried too much and showered too little. The only thing they lacked more than grit was any regard for one another.”

Ben nodded. “No loyalty. We can use that.”

“Good,” Marcus nodded back before turning to Reginald. “Give a full report to Christopher.”

Chris garbled as Reginald stood to his feet. He turned to his cubed child, but hesitated when a sudden thought popped into his head. “Still,” He grabbed everyone’s attention again. “I wouldn’t underestimate the Umbrella Academy. Yes, their skills are as lacking as their hygiene, yet somehow, they saved the world in 1963. Had they not, none of you would be standing here now. Perhaps I misjudged them…”

Before he could continue, Christopher threateningly spoke to him, urging him out of the room. Reginald sighed and lazily moved out of the room. “Yes, yes. I’m going.”

The room fell silent once the two were gone, leaving them to ponder the current situation on their own. Ben snuck a glance over to (Y/N), who was toying with the hem of her shorts. She instantly caught his eye and tried giving a smile, causing him to roll his eyes with a deep exhale and turn away from her.

-------------------------------------------------

The Hotel Obsidian definitely was not the ritz. Five and (Y/N) thought as much as they stepped into their shared room, the former holding the door open for her. She hummed in uncertainty as the texture below her feet changed from the hotel floors to an old carpet. She stepped in place a few times to get a good feel for it and she was just happy that it didn’t smell the same way it felt.

“Well, it’s four walls and a roof,” Five moved past her to get to the full sized bed, the sheets an ugly shade of green that matched the wallpaper. “With a nice-enough-sized bed to get some rest.”

(Y/N) smiled as she watched him remove his blazer and toss it on a yellow armchair nearby. She went to the window and moved aside the salmon curtain to get a view of the alleyway just beside the hotel. “A nice view, too.” She sarcastically commented as she heard the springs on the bed creak. Her heart warmed and her smile widened at the sight of Five laying back atop the sheets, eyes closed and hands clasped on his stomach. She couldn’t remember the last time he looked this peaceful.

He deserved it.

“Before you sleep, bub, I wanna patch you up.”

Five opened his green gaze to watch her search the room for a first aid kit. It was so mundane, her opening and closing drawers and cabinets, inspecting what items she found and deeming them useful or not by either setting them back down or adding them to the pile in her arms, but it was so beautiful. After everything, she had managed to stay the (Y/N) Hargreeves he knew and loved. It could be so easy for her to lose herself and become something she wasn’t, but she proved herself to be indestructible against anything thrown at her. Five was so proud of her and he was even more proud to call her his.

“This’ll do.” Her voice snapped him out of his love-filled stupor as she drew near the bed. Five silently sat up and leaned back against the headboard. He had made room for her to sit on the edge of the bed, but she pleasantly surprised him by straddling him, her knees on either side of his legs. He contently hummed and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as she reached up to clean his wound. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Five clicked his tongue, fighting off a wince when she came into contact with his head wound, and smiling at her hushed apology. “This is just… different.”

She didn’t immediately respond, focused on the task at hand. “Good different or bad different?”

“Good different,” He whispered, (Y/N) nodding. “I never thought we’d get this. Just thought it’d be a constant fight and that I would never get to… just sit and talk with you.”

“We’ve sat and talked.”

“With an incoming apocalypse hanging over our heads,” When she took her hand away, Five frustratedly shook his head. “I just spent twenty straight days saving the world. Twice. And now we’ve already got new enemies… Jesus, when does it end?”

(Y/N) quietly hummed in thought as she used the small container of rubbing alcohol and some cotton balls to sterilize a needle she had found. “Maybe we could work something out with the Sparrows. I mean, they’re like us, you know? We could come to an agreement… Then everything would be solved. No more fighting.”

Five tightened his arms around her in appreciation of the thought. “At least someone’s looking on the bright side.”

“I’m used to doing it. That's all I can do sometimes.”

The next few minutes were filled with a comfortable and peaceful silence. (Y/N)’s focus was entirely on stitching up Five’s wound, quietly apologizing every time he would flinch or hiss in pain. When she finished, she cleaned up any remaining blood and then leaned back to inspect her work.

“How am I lookin’, doc?”

(Y/N) smiled softly and leaned forward, gently placing a kiss to his wound before coming face-to-face with him again. “Still as handsome as ever.” She chuckled, the two touching foreheads. Her mind began to run with everything that happened within one day. Could she even call it that? A few hours ago, she murdered the The Handler of the Commission in the sixties. Minutes later, she was fighting herself in her adult form in 2019. The mansion was no longer their home and Reginald was no longer their father.

He still wasn’t her father. That Sparrow version of herself was not her. She saw it in the way that she looked when she fought. Her (e/c) eyes held murder in them, a fire that could only be ignited by a fight, if one challenged her. That was what (Y/N) would have become if she hadn’t moved out of the house. If she hadn’t made a new life for herself.

“Five?”

“Hmm?”

“I found out some, uh… some bad news earlier…”

Five moved his head back to look her in the eyes, her saddened (e/c)s. He reached a hand up and cupped her cheek gently. “What happened, Starlight?”

She averted her gaze. “The (Y/N) from this timeline never met Anthony… My babies don’t exist, Five.”

His heart shattered at that. For the short amount of time he had known Michael and Jada, they had grown quite a bit on Five. It was a trait they had acquired from their mother. To know that those two children were never born sent a sick feeling to his gut. To hide the look of guilt on his face, he placed his hand on the back of (Y/N)’s head and pressed her forehead to his shoulder, holding her tight as her body shuddered.

“I-If we can’t get back home to the original timeline, then my babies died in an asteroid impact… A-And for some reason, that isn’t scaring me. Maybe because I’ve had to live with that for so long? For two years, I had no one but Dad and Mom. For two years, I thought you guys were lost or dead. I think I just grew used to it, you know? As sad as that sounds…”

(Y/N) pulled back, a single tear falling down her scarred cheek. “That makes me evil, doesn’t it?” She fearfully whispered. “That I’m not even crying over my children…?”

Five stared at her for a few seconds in thought before sighing and thumbing her cheekbone that held the tear. “I told you before that no one gets to decide how we love… The same goes for hurt. How many people outside of this hotel do you think have had to go through the ringer like you? How many of them do you think have had to make the hard decisions like we have to make? You are not evil, (Y/N), that could never be a word to describe you.”

“Then what am I?”

“You’re hurting. That’s what you are. Your feelings right now are valid and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about them,” He kissed her other cheek. “If anything else happens, I need you to always know that I will be there with you. You don’t have to stay back anymore. I don’t wanna do it without you. It’s the two of us, from beginning to end. Okay?”

(Y/N) smiled through tears and captured his lips in a kiss with breathtaking passion. Five instantly returned the kiss, pulling her even closer. Their intimacy deepened within seconds as she carded her hands through his hair and he gripped the back of her neck. Five slowly laid down on his back and (Y/N) shifted to lay on top of him before abruptly ending their kiss.

“This is weird, right?”

“Yeah, a bit.”

“I mean, we’re in our thirteen-year-old bodies.”

“Our thirteen-year-old bodies with unbelievably roused hormones.”

(Y/N) sharply exhaled. If she were being honest, it had been seven years with absolutely no release. Ever since Anthony’s death, she never even thought of it, too focused on her children and on her career. Then it was the apocalypse, the sixties, the other apocalypse. Being in a teenage body for so long and going through puberty once again was just frustrating in every sense of the word.

Five was right here, right now. He was alive and smiling up at her and they were alone for the first time in a long time. They were in their prepubescent bodies and it was wrong and maybe a little gross, but who knew when this curse would be reversed? For all she knew, there could be another apocalypse around the corner.

Fuck it. No one could judge them, as Five had said before.

She grabbed him by his tie and pulled him so their lips were merely brushing, two pairs of hungry eyes locked. “Okay. But tell me when you want to stop.”

-------------------------------------------------

The coughing was constant. The baby’s cries were piercing. The conversation between the two older women was too loud. The teenager’s complaining was quite nerve-racking.

The old man on the bus could not stand it any longer. He had tried to just let the sounds come and go, he tried closing his eyes, tried taking deep breaths, gritting his teeth, biting his tongue, but it was too much. It was like the sounds were prodding at him, testing him to go over the edge. Before he could even think of doing that, he quickly opened his briefcase full of cassette tapes. He placed his headphones over his ears and hurriedly ran his fingers over his many options.

Windmills, birds, whales, typewriter, rain, more rain, racecars, thunder.

Bees.

He quickly selected the tape and placed it into his portable cassette player. With a deep breath, he closed his briefcase and pressed play. The sound of the bee swarm buzzing individually as one started off almost silent. Soon, though, the crescendo of their signature noise slowly drowned out the coughing, the baby, the older women, the teenager. It was almost euphoric how at ease he became.

The old man closed his eyes and leaned his head back, keen on relaxing for the rest of the bus ride.

-------------------------------------------------

Another late afternoon filled with the screams and cheers of fans below. Marcus continued as normal, holding himself in a handstand on the ledge of the roof before counting the amount of times he lowered and raised himself back up. He didn’t need music for this routine, the sound of devotion was just enough.

With a grunt, he pushed himself off the ledge and backflipped onto the roof. As if he hadn’t just crazily impressed a crowd of people, he reached over and picked up a rag, wiping off his sweat and throwing it down to his fans that would no doubt rip each other to shreds for a token of Marcus Hargreeves. As he leaned down to watch, his heart stuttered at one of the figures below.

She stuck out like a sore thumb. The only one without a hand-made sign showcasing her obsession with the Sparrow Academy. The only one not wearing their signature red. The only one not cheering.

Vanya Hargreeves stared up at Marcus with a quirked brow, tilting her head not as a threat, not as a dare, just as an invitation. He nodded at her in acceptance.

The two soon found themselves sitting across from one another at a local diner, cups of coffee in front of them. Marcus removed his gloves from his hands as he spoke, “I’m glad we’re doing this. Whatever happens between our two families, the Number Ones should orchestrate it.”

Vanya hesitated. “I’m Number Seven, actually.”

Marcus froze for only a second, momentarily surprised, but not unfamiliar. “Well, then somebody screwed up.” He raised his brows and brought his cup towards his lips to drink. Vanya rolled her eyes.

The Umbrella Academy was far beyond the concept of ranking. It stopped mattering the second they got a countdown to the end of the world. In their family, it didn’t matter who was the biggest or the strongest or the smartest. At the end of the day, it was a matter of who was on their side and how far they would go for each other. And they had gone very far.

“My brothers think you’re gonna come after us.”

He slowly lowered his cup with narrowed eyes, not denying it. Vanya sighed.

“I don’t want a war. We’ve lost enough.”

“Then you shouldn’t have attacked us in our own house,” Marcus snapped, discreetly looking around when he noticed he was a bit too loud. He lowered his voice. “Look, this isn’t personal, but we’re the only superhero game in town. We have this place under complete control. But if your people start taking shots at us, it will give the sheep ideas.”

“We won’t. That’s-”

“And I’m just supposed to take your word on that? For your whole family? You’re not even their Number One. And I’m sorry, but I can’t risk that. So, if you came here to beg me not to make the next move…”

He shook his head and reached for his gloves. Reputation and power was all this team cared about. They were willing to risk peace and union because their little world would crumble under the public eye. Vanya couldn’t take that kind of mentality from him, not when there was a way to fix what they had broken. What she had broken. If Marcus wanted a challenge, he would get one.

“I came here to tell you mine.”

Marcus looked up with furrowed brows, waiting for her to continue.

“Tomorrow morning, when your busloads of fans show up, I’m gonna be there on your front lawn, and I’m gonna call you out for a fight, just you and me.”

He scoffed. “Why?”

The lights began to flicker, Vanya’s gaze never wavering. “Because your team is good. Better than mine, maybe.”

Marcus looked up at the shallowing light above him, low rumbling sounding at the table.

“But I don’t think you’re better than me, Marcus. I ended the world twice. And you?”

He noticed his cup shaking and clattering with the saucer it sat on.

“You’re just meat in spandex. And I bet you don’t want the whole world watching when I prove that to you.”

Vanya stopped her power when Marcus placed his hand on the cup to cease its rattling. She leaned back with a smug look as he continued to stare at her in assessment. “What do you really want, Vanya?”

“You have something I need, and I want it back.”

Outside one of the windows cawed a crow peeking in at the two. Seeing enough, it flapped its wings and soared above the city until it reached the Sparrow Academy, where three figures stood awaiting on the roof. Fei turned around so her back was facing the bird, her body stiffening when it disappeared into her back in black smoke. Ben turned his head to her and waited.

“He’s making a deal with them.” She relayed.

“I’ll handle it.” He rasped. She nodded at him and made her way back into the house. Ben knew he wasn’t alone then. Without even turning, he could feel her standing behind him. The figure in the black and gold baroque-print long-sleeve shirt. He didn’t need to look at her to know she was holding herself against the cold of the night. “What.”

(Y/N) drew in a deep breath. “Do we really need to do this?”

“Since you’re Number Eight, you would never understand,” He turned to her with a feigned smile. “But I’ll explain it anyway. The Umbrella Academy is the enemy. Marcus is trying to be civil. That is not something a Number One does. A Number One protects and he leads and he fights.”

“How would you know what a Number One does?” At the look he gave her, she immediately straightened. “I-I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s obvious that the Umbrella Academy had a life with me. It sounds like they had one with you, too. So… are they really the enemy?”

Ben leaned closer to her, reveling in the sight of her shrinking back. “They are, and you need to start acting like it. That Umbrella (Y/N) is not you. She will never be you. You know, you could be so much stronger. You could be so much more. You just need to stop being such a pussy and pull your weight.”

She swallowed. “And how do I do that?”

“Just shut up and do as you’re told.”

(Y/N) shakily inhaled as Ben took off towards the house, watching him go with a deadly glare.

At the Hotel Obsidian, beside the bar, Klaus, Luther and Diego sat together at a table eating Chinese takeout. Klaus watched his brothers wolfishly scarf down their food with a disgusted look. “You should try chewing. You might actually taste the food.”

“I haven’t eaten in days.” Luther defended before he caught sight of Five in nothing but a Hotel Obsidian bathrobe making his way towards the table. “What’s wrong? You look happy.”

“I am plenty happy,” Five sighed as he sat with them. “I had some needed quality time with my wife, a nap and a shvitz. What does a man need?”

“Brothers who don’t eat like barn animals?” Klaus raised his brows, Diego and Luther looking up with mouths full of noodles. “By the way, nice mark.”

“Nice what-now?”

Klaus gestured to his collarbone. Five looked down and noticed a very visible bite mark just below his collarbone. His face flushed in embarrassment, but he smiled proudly. “Ah, like I said, quality time.”

“She bit you?”

“Who knew (Y/N) was such a kinky little thing?”

“Does that hurt?”

Five waved his hands to end their questioning. “I’m not going to discuss what (Y/N) and I do behind closed doors, that’s not fair to her and frankly, I just don’t wanna tell you. What I will talk about is how I’ve been thinking through our little timeline snafu, and that I’m pleased to report that in my professional, expert opinion, we are totally in the clear.”

“Awesome!”

“Huh!”

“Great.”

“Yeah.”

“So, everything’s totally fine?” Luther asked.

“More or less,” Five picked up a pair of chopsticks. “I mean, there is one… small thing. It’s nothing we can’t manage.”

The three waited for him to explain, but he only began to open a takeout box as if he hadn’t raised a new topic of discussion. “So, spit it out, Boomer!” Diego demanded through the food in his mouth.

“Fine, Diego, it’s like this: Dad didn’t adopt us as babies, but those babies still existed here.”

“Awe!” Klaus cooed.

“We just grew up in different places with different people.”

“So?” Diego shrugged.

Five raised his dark brows. “So, where are they now? Odds are, we each have identical versions of ourselves walking around out there, living completely different lives.”

Luther gasped in realization. “Our doppelgängers!”

“That’s a made-up word.” Klaus rolled his eyes.

“No, no! I learned all about this in Texas. Tell him about the paranoid psychosis, Five.”

“Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!” Diego exclaimed. “I thought you said this wasn’t a problem.”

Slowly, Five nodded, not trying to make a big deal of the situation. “Okay, yes, technically, if you’re near your doppel for long, you’ll go insane. So, if you see your other self-”

“Kill them.”

“Sleep with them.”

“Avoid them.” Five frowned at Diego and Klaus.

Luther shook his head. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Oh, come on,” Klaus teased. “As if you wouldn’t climb Luther Mountain.”

“Wait,” Diego started. “How are we supposed to guarantee we don’t cross paths with ourselves?”

“Easy. We’re the Benetton ad of superheroes, born all around the world until Dad brought us here, which he no longer did. Doppels probably aren’t even in the same time zone as us.”

“And (Y/N)?”

Luther exasperatedly sighed. “I don’t think I can go through another doppel fight, Five. It’s too chaotic and bloodthirsty.”

“Well, thankfully, you won’t have to, Luther. For some unexplainable reason that I can’t seem to wrap my head around, (Y/N) experienced no signs of paradox psychosis when around herself.”

“No… itching?”

“No.”

“Frequent peeing?”

“No…?”

“Farting?”

“No, Luther, my wife has not been farting.”

“It’s just precaution. I mean, what if she’s still in denial?”

Five shook his head. “No. I know the symptoms and she’s got none of it. I want to think of it as a sign of peace in this timeline, but I’ll have to scratch my head some more. For now, would you pass the moo shu?”

Klaus did so as he sighed. “I don’t know, though. Doesn’t it seem kind of rude that Dad unadopting us didn’t change anything? I’m offended.”

“I never said that, Klaus.”

Diego quickly informed his brothers that he would be back before hurriedly taking off.

“How are we gonna know where it changed?”

“It doesn’t matter where it changed. It most likely won’t impact us significantly, especially if (Y/N)’s symptoms remain missing in action. The point is, we did it. We saved the world. We stopped the apocalypse. And made it home safe in time for dinner. So, whatever Dad changed, whatever timeline we’re in now… we can handle it.”

Five raised his glass with a smile.

“We won.”

Luther shrugged as he and Klaus raised their beers.

“We won.”

The three clinked their glasses together in victory. Meanwhile, a few floors above them, (Y/N) stood in a bathrobe that matched Five’s. She was frozen in her spot, staring up at the flickering lights. She had been on her way to the showers when she felt a wave of energy rush past her, but it was gone as soon as it came. With a shrug, she continued down the hallway.

“Vanya was right. This place is weird.”

—————————————

Taglist: @natewrightt @sapphicsyn @m00n-sh @starcurrent @alexander-hamilhoe @youcandalekmyballs @wonderlandfandomkingdom @yrdadjstcallsmekatya @sm0kingcrack @sbyderman @moatsnow @bubblegumflamingos @starstormssymphony @meowiemari @magicalgothpandamaker @keayastitties @hehehehannahthings @harryshomeismyhome @rhain3 @deigobonitooo @xxeiraxx @camerondiaz48104 @emily-writes-posts @theyaremorethanjustfictional @that-can-of-fizz @luckyzipperscissorsbat @0range-slices @molzsecretspace @officialjypofc @dragon-master-kai @justsomecreaturewandering @fandomxo00 @roman0ffsheart @idktbhloley @wifeofcamillamacaulay

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #umbrella academy x reader #tua #tua fanfic #tua x reader #tua five #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #number five #number five x reader #five x reader #of starlight #and dusk #to nightfall

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gswhyemi · 2 years

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ahhhhhh hi everyone, i’m dani (she/her, 21+, gmt -8) and i’m so excited to be here! i’m bringing you all goo hyemi, a girl with far too many issues to even keep track of but she means well and i swear she’s trying her best :< i have a basic profile set up for her which you can access by clicking her name in this post and as usual, i’ll be giving a run down of her under the cut. please drop a like on this post if you’d like to plot and i’ll slide into your dms! discord is available upon request as well or feel free to drop yours 🫶🏻

alright, to kick us all off, she’s a newcomer to the island and has only been around for the past couple of months so she’s still meeting people and adjusting herself to island culture

goo hyemi, born december 18, 1997, making her 25 years old - an original seoul native, pure city girl at heart that honestly doesn’t know very much about anything else due to her upbringing

her parents are big shots in the field of medicine and she was raised to be the same, but clearly she found another plan ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ

in case her bio makes it hard to understand (i’m sorry ㅠㅠ), she was never supposed to have been born or even conceived for that matter and her parents had danced with the idea of abortion before deciding it wouldn’t be ethical and they’d rather give birth to her

but...because of this, they feel like they have this innate ownership of her? she’s gotta do everything they say and act how they wish and this has caused her to have a lot of bottled up issues leading to multiple mental breakdowns throughout her years

she finally had enough though and after her last breakdown and brief hospitalization, she said fuck everything i’m leaving this family and this city

cue hyemi hopping on the literally the first mode of transport she found to take her far away and landing herself on the island with a small luggage and some cash

she’s now found herself a job at the sunrise diner as a waitress, though she’s not the best at getting orders correct but she’s got this gummy smile that seems to make things okay

she’s also found herself a one bedroom apartment at the birch tree apartment complex but who knows how long she can keep paying rent for it ( •_•)

as for her personality, she’s pretty quiet and reserved when you meet her, she really prefers being a fly on the wall and getting to understand her surroundings before she dives in but she’s sweet and loyal, she’s dependable - she can just get a little too stubborn for her own good sometimes

now for connection ideas!!

you always come into the diner and order the same thing and it’s been about a month straight of hyemi taking your order and for some reason, some part of it is always wrong. what the heck?

she’s your new neighbour and everything should be fine except sometimes you swear you hear crying through the walls and you’re pretty sure it’s coming from hyemi’s direction

she tells people she moved to gwasuwon just to escape city life because it’s boring, but you don’t buy the story because how is a small island going to be more exciting than a big city like seoul? you’re on a mission to dig into her past now and she isn’t having it

somehow she thought she could escape her past but she crosses paths with an old “friend” from seoul and everything she was escaping suddenly doesn’t seem so far away anymore

she got lost the first couple of weeks she was on the island and you helped her find her way out of the goodness of your heart but you’re now her designated gps (yes, that’s literally your contact name on her phone)

she bought something at yoyo’s except whatever she bought technically should have never been there? aka you lost something, someone found it and decided to donate it to yoyos, hyemi was shopping and liked it so she bought it (ariana grande vc??) but now you see her with it and there’s confusion because you think hyemi stole it

i can’t think of anything else right now but let’s plot ٩(＾◡＾)۶

#gsw:intro #( queued for acceptances because suddenly real life decides to get interesting 😮‍💨

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davidmariottecomics · 1 year

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Butter Sales

Hello!

Today's update is kind of a journey, but it's all leading to a super important update, so just stick with me. No real better way to get into it than to get into it, so... let's!

Butter Base

Okay, so you know my friend, Ricky, right? Ricky? He's like... yay tall? Face like a meerkat? Yeah, him. Rrrrricky. Rickeeee. That's my boy.

If you somehow don't know my friend Ricky, here's what you need to know. He's always coming up with these crazy schemes. Like, one time, Ricky... put flowers in a pot. Not like he y'know, planted a plant and flowers grew out of some beautifully sculpted terracotta. Nah, my boy Ricky, he bought some flowers for his mom but forgot to give them to her, so they were just like wilting in his house, so he put them in his big pasta pot. It was wild, but maybe you had to be there.

Oh, that's the other thing you need to know. He has this big pasta pot because his mom, the one he bought flowers for, she's really good at making pasta. So she bought him a big pot so he could be good at making pasta, but I've tasted both of their pastas and Ricky's mom's pasta is where it's at and Ricky's pasta isn't very good at all. I guess there's more to pasta than a big pot.

Ricky's New Gig

Alright, so one time, Ricky went to the store and they had a lot of butter. Like, how he first told it, it sounded like the store only had butter. But I asked and he said they had other stuff too, so, don't imagine quite as much butter as I did. Anyway, so he's at the store and they've just got all this butter. Ricky said it was like 50 times as much butter as a store should have. Just shelves of the stuff. And Ricky, you know him, he sees something like that and he starts cooking up these wacky ideas. So Ricky bought some butter.

Now my boy is a butter salesman. He just goes around selling butter. And it seems like he's making bank. I know because he showed me this fat wad of cash he was carrying. He said he had to carry it around because his bank's really lame and wouldn't trade him non-buttery bills for buttery ones.

He told me a trade secret, that I'm going to pass on to you. The sweet spot is the third house. The first two, the butter's like nice and cool and firm in your pocket, but it means you gotta find a knife to cut a pat off so people can taste test. But some people treat you really weird when you come up to their door and say that you need to borrow their knife so that you can sell them butter. The third house though, the butter's started to soften up, so you can just sort of scoop some out and let them lick it off your finger. People really like that. But for houses four and more, that gets a little tricky because the butter starts picking up like lint or money or whatever else you have in your pocket.

My New Gig

Ricky offered to get me a job working as a butter salesman, like him, and I took it. That's my big announcement. I'm leaving comics to go sell butter. Sorry!

Don't tell Ricky this, but I also think I figured out a way to make even more in butter sales. I'm going to keep my butter pocket, my lint pocket, and my cash pocket separate. Like, duh.

So next time you see me, tell me where your house is so I can come sell you some butter.

Much love, David Butter Salesman

P.S. DON'T READ THIS UNTIL APRIL 2ND April Fool's!

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Anime), The Circle (Trash TV), When Harry Met Sally (Movie), Logan Lucky (Movie), my friend Chloe Brailsford gave me a sneak peek of something they've been working on and it's very good. Keep an eye out for more from her! I haven't played it yet, but I'm very excited for The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog. You may've seen that Min Ho Kim, one of our artists over at IDW, worked on the character art! It's clearly a labor of love by everyone involved and that's really cool. WonderCon was nice. Glad I got to see some folks I haven't seen in a while. I did catch con crud (and tested and came back negative for Covid, it's just a head cold), so if I missed you or we only had a pretty quick, limited interaction, maybe it's for the best! Speaking of both friends giving me comics and WonderCon, Matthew Palacios gave me an ashcan of his book Metal Skin and it was a lot of fun! I've also been playing a bunch of pranks over on my Twitter (2 whole pranks)! So, no, I still haven't seen ALF and I did not expect other people to send me pictures of my cat. Those were goofs. Lastly, yesterday was Transgender Day of Visibility. I posted a couple times about a fundraising effort that was going for Point of Pride and saw they ultimately ended up making twice their initial goal, $2 Million, to help out thousands of trans folks with gender-affirming care. There are also a ton of cool people who were sharing themselves yesterday in a time when that's a very scary thing to do.

New Releases this week (3/29/2023): Nothing from me, sorry!

New Releases next week (4/5/2023): Sonic the Hedgehog #1 5th Anniversary Edition (Editor--A new version of the first IDW Sonic comic, with a bunch of bonus content including a new comic short!)

Final Order Cutoff - Let your shops know to order these books by Monday (4/3/2023): Sonic the Hedgehog #60 (Editor) Godzilla Rivals: Biollante vs. Destoroyah (Editor)

Announcements:

At the moment, I don't have any new appearances until San Diego Comic-Con! But, that's subject to change! And I may have other announcements coming to this space soon, so keep an eye out!

Oh, just because, uhh... I know we're all convinced Twitter's just going to collapse any day now. I've tried various other social medias and a lot of them don't really work for me. The best ways to keep up are obviously my website, my Tumblr, my newsletter, or my Instagram. I am still on a few other things, but don't really use them. If you're on Tumblr or Insta, please do follow me there so I can follow you back and make sure we're staying in touch!

I will plug in my usual Becca corner, their website's up and should all be working. There was a bug with shipping, but that should be fixed! Maybe buy yourself or someone in your life something nice! And I believe they're still on for streaming tonight at 7 PST on Twitch, assuming voices are still holding up as we get over the last of this con crud!

Pic of the Week: Major shoutout to KEM Cosplay! We met at WaifuExpo at the beginning of last month (you can see a picture of her in a previous blog as Dr. Eggman) and ran into each other again at WonderCon over the weekend where she was wearing her BIG THE CAT COSPLAY!

#ricky #butter sales #butter salesman #big the cat #KEM cosplay #april fools #sonic idw #godzilla idw #comics

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solace-seekers · 3 years

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do you think chiron ever sent kids door to door to beg for cash? or like sell strawberries or something? cause i wouldn’t put it past him

#chiton: hm. i can either budget better; ask for more money from the gods; or exploit children #…. not even a question. hey campers! wanna do a fun new required activity?#i remember in elementary we would literally have assembly’s on how not to get kidnapped or assaulted when selling things door to door #you’d think at that point they would stop sending kids out but #you’d be wrong #gotta get that sweet sweet cash somehow #hoo #pjo #pjo/hoo #chiron pjo #camp half blood #percy jackson

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itsamejin · 4 years

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easy || jungkook angst/fluff

Summary: Date you, win a bet, get his rent paid off. Sounds promising enough, right? Jungkook should’ve known that his ambitions would end in disaster, but even if he did, that still wouldn’t have stopped him from pursuing you.

Warning: cursing, crude humor, fuckboy talk

Genre: college!au, fuckboy!au, bet!trope, angst, fluff

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Premise: In which Jungkook accepts a bet from Taehyung to date the first girl that walks into the lecture hall and realizes that he bit off more than he could chew when starts to catch feelings. Now, he has to suffer the consequences of being an idiot.

Commission Request: @altus-gens

Word Count: 9,203 words

—

It's not like Jungkook planned to be one of the most sought after person in Yonsei University, but it somehow turned out to be that way. Truthfully, he basks in it, loves that so many people idolize him for doing the bare minimum. He was handsome after all and had a level of charm that surpassed the need to have a good personality.

He got into such a prestigious school through an athletic scholarship for Taekwondo, managed to convince his professors to pass him when he put in minimal effort, and there was no shortage of girls to call when he was feeling lonely for a night. He was the stereotypical 'it' boy on campus and maybe if he was a little bit smarter, he'd have a better choice of friends than the six idiots he always hangs around with.

"How about this," Taehyung starts, gum in his mouth, "the first girl who walks in, you have to successfully get in her pants."

Jungkook rolls his eyes. They were in a damn lecture hall and yet Taehyung had no shame bringing up sex. Typical.

“This again, bro?” Hoseok sighed. “Aren’t you sick of bribing us to do weird shit for you?”

Taehyung smirked.

“Not at all, actually.”

"For how much?" Namjoon cut in, probably curious for the price point Taehyung would arrange this time. He was fired from his job just a week ago and could really use the money. "I'll do it if it’s enough to pay for my rent this month."

Taehyung scoffs, although knowing full well he could pay for all of the boys’ tuitions combined if he wanted to. He was the resident rich bachelor on campus after all.

"I'll pay it for a full year and your utility bills too if you're really down," Taehyung flaunts. "You just gotta have proof you actually managed to do it."

"Dude that's gross," Seokjin chimes in, "No one wants to send you proof of us doing it with a random girl."

Taehyung shakes his head.

"No, no, no," he says, clicking his tongue. "I phrased it incorrectly. I’m not a fucking pervert."

“You got us fooled,” Jimin mutters.

Taehyung leans in closer to the six boys and even Jungkook finds himself getting intrigued. Admittedly, he was a little curious considering he hasn't had a proper meal in weeks. He could really use having some extra cash for food without worrying about rent.

"You have to date the girl for like three months," Taehyung says seriously, "and I'll consider that as enough proof that you managed to actually do it since I know you guys are too horny to wait any longer than that to fuck."

They all look at Taehyung in disgust, Jimin even opting to hit him in the back of the head for being so vulgar. To be fair, they were all thinking of accepting Taehyung's bet regardless. It's not like they were new to leading girls on anyway.

"You gotta pay me more than that to fuck just any girl," Yoongi says, yawning in the process. He seemed the least likely to take up Taehyung's offer, but he was still game depending on the person.

"Then how would you feel," Taehyung starts, "if I told you guys that I could get you priority registration for next quarter."

The boys, even the ones who weren't interested, were now listening to Taehyung's every word.

"You mean," Hoseok gulps, "I could finally get that fucking Organic Chemistry class I need to get out of this hell hole?!"

Taehyung shrugs, an ominous smile on his face.

"Just the perk of having parents who have connections," Taehyung replies. “I’ll only accept one of you guys to do it though. I don’t wanna have you all fucking the same girl- that’d be weird.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what’s weird about this,” he grumbles.

“So are you guys in or not?” Taehyung asks, his patience growing thin.

He lays back on his chair, a smoldering look on his face when they all nod. They were desperate for money after all.

"The next girl that walks in will be the subject of this bet and whoever calls dibs on her first will be the one to woo her,” he says with a stretch of his arms. “Good luck boys.”

They all turned to look at the door and Jungkook watches silently as guy after guy walks into the lecture hall. No girl yet.

Jungkook was hoping, from the bottom of his heart, that no familiar faces would walk in. If he had to deal with a past fling, he’d have to back out immediately. He never dealt with exes very well.

The guys are at the edge of their seats, praying for a cute girl to walk through that didn’t already know about their horrible reputation. They were looking for an easy target, someone that could fall for their charms almost immediately.

And then, you walk in. You were clad in sweats with earphones on, rushing toward the front row seats of the lecture hall. You were chatting with your friends, yawning several times throughout your conversation with them. Jungkook couldn’t help but smirk. There was nothing special about you to point out, in fact, you were just like everyone else. Strangely enough, he found that the most intriguing part about you.

"Nope, nope, nope," Jimin shakes his head repeatedly. "Can't, won't, never will. Sorry, Tae."

They all stare at him in confusion.

"What the fuck, what's wrong with her?" Yoongi asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Jimin faces away from you, not wanting to look at you any longer.

"No, nothing," there seems to be a blush forming on his face. He was hiding something.

“Bullshit,” Taehyung furrows his brows. “Bro, if she’s crazy and one of us gets our dick bitten off, we’re all blaming you, so spit it out.”

Jimin just sighs.

"She's been giving me Professor Kwon’s notes for the past few weeks,” he starts, much to the confusion of his friends. “Her name is [Y/N]. It'll be really mean if I go after her, especially since she and I are kind of friends. Plus, I really need to pass this class. I failed last quarter..."

The boys groan. Jimin was no fun.

"She's not my type so I don't think I could really get into it either," Seokjin states, no longer interested in the prize after Jimin’s confession. He’s been banking off of your notes from him too.

"Aren’t we all old enough to know not to mess with people’s feelings?" Hoseok sighs.

They roll their eyes at Hoseok’s statement. Who was he trying to fool with the nice guy act? He probably fooled around with girls just as much as the other guys did.

"Yeah, I’m backing out," Yoongi agrees, "and she hates me so there's that."

They all look at him questioningly and he puts his hands up in the air from their gazes.

"What? I just realized who she’s talking to down there.”

He pointed at a girl discreetly, but no one seemed to recognize her.

“Her friend and I dated,” Yoongi continues, “and I broke up with her over text and blocked her without letting her respond. That whole friend group is pretty much pissed at me. I'd rather not have to deal with them again."

The guys look disapprovingly at him. Breaking up over text was harsh, but probably not the worst thing Yoongi has done to his exes.

"You're actually a piece of shit," Namjoon sighs. "I really do need my rent paid though..."

Jungkook nods in agreement. It's been almost impossible to balance Taekwondo practices, college papers, and working a part-time job all at once. If he could somehow find a way to quit his job for a while and get priority registration for classes, then he doesn't mind getting his hands a little dirty in the process. Plus, you were cute enough and he's sure you weren't too difficult to befriend as long as he doesn't mention Yoongi in any conversations.

"I'm in," Jungkook chides, finally saying something after such a long period of silence.

They all look at him with disbelief in their eyes. Jungkook was never the one to partake in Taehyung's bets. In fact, he was the one usually ridiculing them for participating. He must have been really desperate if he was willing to do it.

"I mean, it's all yours if you want," Namjoon replies, "I don't wanna turn it into a competition.”

“Don’t worry dude,” Jungkook fist bumps Namjoon, “I’ll quit my job and refer you for it.”

They nod at each other as if they were on the same wavelength.

“I knew I could rely on you,” Namjoon says, faking tears from his eyes. The boys groan in response.

“Alright,” Taehyung claps his hands. “In exchange for providing me some mindless entertainment and going out with [Y/N], you will get your rent paid for the rest of the year and get early registration for next quarter. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.”

Jimin shakes his head.

“I don’t know about this, guys...”

Jungkook doesn’t hear him and instead takes one last look at you. You catch him in the corner of your eye and you can’t help but feel flustered at his serious expression.

“Should be easy enough,” he mutters to himself and turns his gaze back onto his friend.

“So we have a deal?” Taehyung asks.

He smirks, shaking the outreached hand Taehyung held out for him. He steals another glance at you and he finds you staring right back. He gives you a wink.

“Deal.”

—

Jungkook slid into the seat next to yours in the campus canteen, his eyes filled with determination. His posture was laid-back, but it was a little too obvious that he was trying to act like he didn’t care.

“Hi,” he greets you in a breathy tone- girls loved it when he spoke with his breathy tone.

“Hi?”

You’d been sensing that someone was staring at you during the lecture, but you thought that was just the paranoia that came from being near such an intimidating group of guys. Turns out, you should always trust your instincts.

Jungkook had a boyish grin on his face that made you want to smile back but also stare at him in disgust.

“I heard you help Jimin with Professor Kwon’s notes,” he whispers mischievously. “I’m struggling myself, actually...”

Not really, but you know. This was the easiest tactic to approach you- tackle your similarities. You nod understandingly at his words, not quite getting that he was flirting with you.

“Yeah I can send you the Google Drive folder,” you comply, taking your phone out. “But you can’t let Professor Kwon know or else he’ll flip out. He doesn’t want people to have the notes for some odd reason...”

You trail off but Jungkook just scoffs. You seemed clueless.

“That’s not what I necessarily meant,” he says, a little shy this time. “I need a tutor.”

You furrow your brows at him.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to pay me for that,” you say seriously. The last time you offered to tutor someone for free, they ended up blaming you for their failing grade and screaming about it all over social media. You needed money to compensate for that emotional trauma. “Microeconomics is hard to teach.”

“Well thankfully I’m a good student,” Jungkook teases. You stare at him with a deadpan face.

“You wouldn’t need my help if you were a good student,” you say blankly, standing up from your seat. “My hourly rate is 20,000 Won. Take it or leave it.”

Jungkook’s eye twitched. He had to spend his money to get Taehyung’s money? Well, the payout would be worth it in the end anyway. He reaches out a hand to you.

“If you’d have me,” he says cheekily, looking up at you. You take his hand in yours and maybe for a second you felt your heart skip a beat, but that was soon over when you let go of him.

“You have sweaty hands,” you say straightforwardly. You wipe your hand on your shirt and he coughs awkwardly at how unresponsive you truly were. Didn’t Jimin say you were a nice person?

You take your barely-touched lunch tray and walk away from his pensive figure.

“Wait, can I get your number?” he yells. You don’t look back.

“Alright, whatever,” he mumbles to himself. “I’ll just ask Jimin, I guess.”

Without even a second glance, you disappear from his sight. He sits back on his chair, heaving out a deep sigh. Sure, this wasn’t the first girl that didn’t care much for his advances, but you didn’t even crack a smile or anything. This is going to be harder than he thought...

—

“She hates me,” Jungkook whines to Seokjin as they walked down the university halls to their next shared class. “Yesterday, I went up to her to get her number and I left with a fucking debt. Does that make any sense?”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have taken on the bet,” Seokjin yawned. “Namjoon would have wooed her with his poetry by now or some shit.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure she’s interested in a dude who can’t even put on a hat without causing an earthquake.”

Seokjin smacked him on the back.

“At least he’d have the guts to say no to having a fucking tutor,” Seokjin replies. “You dug your own grave, man. Now roll around in it.”

“Do you want me to succeed or not?”

“I want you to not be a fucking dumbass, Jungkook,” Seokjin sighs. “Do you really wanna make your reputation worse than it already is?”

Just as Jungkook was about to reply, he catches a glimpse of you walking farther ahead in the university courtyard. You were a bit far but he’s sure he could make it if he hurries. He smacks the binder he held in his right hand onto Seokjin’s chest.

“Yo, can you cover for me,” he asks hastily and Seokjin stares at him with a concerned gaze. He watches as Jungkook takes off his backpack and leaves it on the ground. Jungkook looked about ready to break out in a sprint.

“What the fuck, why?” Seokjin questions.

“Just tell the TA I’m out for a bit,” he says in response, already running ahead to catch up to you. “I’m winning this fucking bet or I’ll die trying.”

Jin stands still, mouth agape. Jungkook really left him with his backpack and binder just to talk to you. He shakes his head. ‘I need to make new friends,’ he thought to himself, picking up the discarded backpack and walking in the direction of the class Jungkook was planning to be late to.

You were walking with your earphones on, not noticing someone sprinting at you in record speed. You only turn your music off when Jungkook stops in front of you, his hands on his knees. He was panting heavily.

“Hey,” he says through deep breaths. You nod at him awkwardly.

“Why are you running?”

“I wanted to... catch up to you... and I thought... you were closer... but the run here... took... fucking... forever,” he says breathlessly. “Water. I need water.”

You take out a bottle from your tote bag hastily, handing it to him. He took it into his hands, grazing your fingers a bit. As he was about to start chugging it, you halted him.

“Waterfall,” you say curtly- you were still planning to drink out of it later after all.

He nods in response, a drop of sweat cascading the side of his neck. After he was done, there was practically no water left anyway. ‘I’m gonna have to refill it myself,’ you thought begrudgingly. You stuff it back into your bag and wait until his breaths become more even.

“A bit out of shape, huh?”

He scoffs and gives you a glare, clearly offended.

“I actually have a Taekwondo scholarship, you know that? I just wasn’t warmed up and I’m naturally sweaty so it’s not like-”

You laugh a little.

“I’m joking,” you say, a smile adorning your face. He feels his face turn red and he can’t help but purse his lips out of embarrassment. Jeon Jungkook couldn’t take a fucking joke.

“O-oh,” he says shyly, avoiding your gaze. Why was he acting more like an idiot than usual? You hear the chiming bells of the university tower and stare at your phone to check the time.

“Don’t you have a class?” you ask him. His eyes widen and soon he was dashing off again. He turns around mid-run, jogging backward to face you.

“My number is 06-1313-9197,” he yells, loud enough for the other late students in the courtyard to hear. Most of them roll their eyes, knowing that Jungkook was flirting with another girl yet again. You’re embarrassed by the amount of attention he’s getting, but punch his number on your phone anyway.

“Text me,” he shouts. “I’ll always respond to you.”

Now it was your turn to be flustered.

—

"That’s wrong,” you say, reaching over to Jungkook’s notebook and marking a large ‘X’ on his paper. “You’re not supposed to apply that function for this problem...”

Jungkook stared at you with a tired face. He didn’t think he was too bad at the mathematical aspect of Microeconomics, but it seemed like it was your life’s mission to make him look like an idiot. Of course, you caught every mistake that he made- even the ones he made on purpose just to see if you were really paying attention to his work and not bamboozling him.

“My bad,” he mutters, copying down the same problem on a different sheet of paper. He didn’t even get a chance to make a move on you today- not like he could make any big developments in the campus library anyway.

“Is it like this?” he asks, tilting his notebook to face you. You take a hard look at it and nod.

“Yeah, just make sure you know the difference between these two formulas, or else you’ll mess up on the midterm,” you say thoughtfully.

This was your fourth or fifth tutoring session by now? Truth be told he wasn’t really counting. Each moment he spent with you kind of blended together and he didn’t quite know if that was a bad thing or not.

“You know you’re not even struggling,” you say, your nose buried deep in your textbook. “It’s not like you’re completely clueless like Jimin. It seems like you’re wasting money on stuff you already know.”

Jungkook laughs heartily, getting shushed by the people around him. He really was stupid, wasn’t he?

“Yeah, well, it was just an excuse to hang out with the pretty girl in class, you know?” he says as nonchalantly as he could. You stare at him for a second and he swears he feels his body freeze over. If looks could kill...

You just shook your head with a click of your tongue and got back to reading.

“The pretty girl in class is most definitely not me,” you grumble. “If you wanted, I could’ve given you Soobin’s number without all the added hassle of you trying to come talk to me-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Jungkook stops you from saying anything else. He looked worriedly at your face. “I don’t even know who the hell Soobin is, why would I want her number?”

You look at him and finally, you chuckle. ‘She really does have a nice smile,’ Jungkook thought to himself. It would be nice if he could make you laugh more often and not just on rare occasions like this.

“You’re saying you don’t know Yoongi’s ex?” you tease slightly. You were finally letting your guard down with him and Jungkook smirked. One wall down, another million more to go.

“Bold of you to assume that I know any of Yoongi’s exes,” he says and you scoff. “He’s an asshole when it comes to dating.”

You roll your eyes.

“Isn’t that your whole friend group?”

He pouts. You knew of his reputation after all. Jungkook thought he could get away playing a nice boy act, but it didn't seem possible considering your knowledge of him. A little white lie couldn’t hurt in the end.

“Not me,” he replies. “I choose my relationships pretty carefully.”

You take a glance at him before jotting down a few more words in your notebook.

“Well,” you start off, a little shy to admit what you were about to say, “I guess we both have that in common.”

He tilts his head rather cutely out of confusion.

“What do you mean?”

You cough awkwardly, adjusting yourself on one of the library’s notoriously squeaky seats.

“I’ve never really had a boyfriend before,” you say quietly. His eyes bulge out from their sockets.

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not,” you say, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“Like, you’ve never been on a date or what?”

“I have,” you say hesitantly. “I’ve been on a few but they just never led into anything serious. I was pretty focused on studying in high school so there weren’t really any opportunities to get involved with someone. Plus, the guys who pursued me weren’t very... attractive.”

Jungkook laughs loudly again, much to the dismay of the other students in the library. He liked that you didn’t beat around the bush- it was easier to talk to you that way.

“And me?” he asks teasingly, laying his head on his arm that was atop the desk. He looks up at you with that boyish grin of his that gave you small butterflies in your stomach. You stare back at him, but only for a second. You ignore his watchful gaze and continue to flip through your textbook, trying to find the passage you last read. He keeps his eyes locked on you and you just couldn’t resist.

“What about you?” you ask, feigning ignorance.

“Am I attractive?” he replies as bluntly as he could. You stop your movements and he chuckles.

“You’re... cute,” you settle on that word. Cute. It was safe enough to not be misinterpreted too much. He sits up straight with a satisfied smirk. He takes his pen and draws a heart on the side of your notebook. He winks at you when you stare back at him, puzzled by his actions.

“You are too.”

—

“Tell me you’re lying,” Soobin whines disappointingly, shaking your shoulders. You were trying to eat lunch undisturbed in one of the campus cafes but your two friends seem hell-bent on making you suffer. “There’s no way you’re friends with Jungkook.”

You sigh, attempting to rid yourself of Soobin’s grasp but to no avail.

“He’s an asshole, [Y/N],” Gaeun sighs disappointingly. “I thought you were a feminist, why the fuck do you even tolerate him?”

You glare at her for a split second before going back to prying Soobin off you.

“Jungkook has no respect for women or himself. It shows in how many shitty friends he has,” Soobin chants, still clearly bitter that Yoongi dumped her.

You shake your head, rolling your shoulders back when she finally lets go of you.

“Jungkook’s not even as bad as you guys describe him,” you reply. “He’s actually been really sweet.”

The girls take a glance at each other and burst in a fit of laughter.

“You must be out of your damn mind,” Gaeun cries. You cower slightly at their words. It’s not like you said anything that controversial, did you?

Soobin slaps Gaeun on the shoulder when she realizes how your face had soured. It wasn’t right to judge you for your choice of friends so harshly, no matter how horrid said person was.

“As long as it doesn’t go past friends,” she says soothingly, but that only made you feel worse.

“Why?” you ask a little hesitantly. “Does Jungkook sleep around?”

Gaeun nods, a worrying glimpse in her eyes.

“He's not exactly the type to kiss and stay...”

You nod understandingly. You weren’t too clueless to believe Jungkook when he said he was “careful” on who he dated. As long as you knew the boundaries that came with being his tutor, everything should be fine... right?

“Don’t worry guys,” you say with determination. “I’m not the type to get played-”

“Of course you are!” Gaeun sighed. “Guys gravitate towards girls like you who lack experience. Jungkook’s a fucking weirdo, of course, he’s gonna try and-”

“[Y/N]!” a shout from across the cafe screams. That distracted you from the various insults Gaeun was spewing from her mouth. You get that she was being critical of Jungkook, but did she have to speak ill of you too?

You look around and catch Jungkook waving frantically at you. He stops at your table and takes a mere glance at your friends before setting his focus on you.

“Do you have time to help me out today? One of the papers for my writing class-”

“You tutor him in writing now, too?!” Soobin exclaimed, mouth agape. “[Y/N], what the fuck.”

You try to ignore your friend’s overreaction, a little disheartened when Jungkook looked hurt at their words. He had started to shy away from them as if he didn’t feel welcomed.

“Nevermind, I’ll just ask you later-”

“Actually,” you say standing up. “I’m free now.”

The two girls look back and forth between you and Jungkook, noticing the stars in your eyes when you looked at him. They did not like the thought of you two together at all.

“But [Y/N]-”

You ignored their words and start to walk away, hoping Jungkook would come catch up to you. You didn’t quite know why their insistence on him being a bad person had made your blood boil. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware of his flirtatious tendencies, but hearing from your friends that you shouldn’t pursue a guy that you liked-

You stopped in your tracks and feel heat climb up your face. Like.

No way you admitted that just now. There’s no possible way you actually like-

“Hey, wait up,” Jungkook pants, his hand touching your shoulder. “Why do you walk so fast for-”

He sees your shocked face and turns you towards him, his hands on your shoulder similar to how Soobin had shaken you just earlier. Except this time, it felt comforting. It made your whole body feel warm as if you were coated with a weighted blanket. Was he always this gorgeous?

“What’s wrong?” he asks, inspecting your face closely. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“N-nothing,” you swipe his hands away and rush out the door of the cafe. He smirks at how flustered you look, maybe he did have an effect on you after all.

Jungkook takes a last glimpse at the two girls who sat in their seats, staring at him disapprovingly. He raised an eyebrow at them and shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans, following after you. ‘They’ll try to get in the way,’ Jungkook thought to himself, ‘but they’re already too late.’

The girls clenched their fist out of annoyance. He was definitely trying to get on their nerves.

“There’s something strange about what’s happening,” Gaeun mutters.

“They’re up to something,” Soobin agrees. “I don’t trust him at all.”

—

It’s been a week since you last spoke to your friends, not really wanting to read the messages they bombarded you with about how you should stay for away from Jungkook. It was hard to take any of their advice seriously when they were just badmouthing him without reason. They based all their opinions on him from rumors around the school and Soobin always felt the need to compare him to Yoongi even though they both had very different personalities. Well, at least to you they seemed very different.

Frankly, you were sick of their nagging and just turned off notifications from that group chat altogether. Instead of sitting next to them during Microeconomics, you opted to sit with Jungkook in the back of the lecture hall instead of at the front with them. Jungkook had abandoned his own rowdy friend group to sit with you and flashed them quick smirks and winks whenever they’d stare at him.

Slowly, Jungkook had started to become a constant in your day to day life. You walked to class with him, ate with him, played video games with him. It was sort of strange how used to you were of his presence, like you had known him your whole life. Jungkook snaps you out of your thoughts when he starts humming a little tune.

He draws a heart in the corner of your notes- which you find he has a habit of doing whenever he wanted to say something stupid.

“I don’t get what he’s saying,” he pouts cutely. “It’s like he’s speaking a foreign language.”

You shake your head, not paying him any mind.

“Well maybe if you actually paid attention,” you mutter softly. He scoots closer to you and you feel yourself stiffen.

“But you’re tutoring me later on anyway,” he says teasingly. “I get more bang for my buck if I know less.”

“Bang for my buck,” you scoff. “Who even says that anymore?”

He points at himself nonchalantly and you can’t help but crack a smile as you continue to focus on the professor’s words. You don’t even cower under his gaze like you usually do when he stares at you with those puppy dog eyes.

“What do you want?” you ask, finally caving when Professor Kwon adjusted something in his PowerPoint slides. He smiles.

“I want to hold your hand,” Jungkook replies and you could feel your palms clam up. His flirtatious comments increased as time passed and you didn’t really quite know whether he was just teasing you or if he was genuinely interested in you. You weren’t very good at taking a hint.

“I’m writing right now...” you reply, slightly skipping a beat in your note-taking. He really was the ultimate distraction, wasn’t he?

Jungkook pouts sadly, but you can tell an idea pops up in his mind when his eyes start to glimmer. He sits his hand on your thigh and you jolt back from the touch of his hand on the material of your jeans. He pulls away slightly, scared that he had made you uncomfortable.

“I just want to put my arm around you,” he asks innocently. “Are you okay with that?”

You calm yourself down and nod. For goodness sake, you weren’t a child- why did a hand on your thigh make you so nervous for?!

“Yeah,” you say, a little more confident despite your nerves. “Go ahead.”

He smiles softly at you and connects his hand to your waist, pulling you a little closer to him. It was comforting, not at all meant to be more than just a public display of affection. He finds himself getting lost in the lecture along with you, his hand playing with a loose thread on your shirt through it all. He didn’t even look at his friends who were teasing him on the other side of the class or your own friends shooting daggers into his being.

At that moment, it was you, him, and Professor Kwon giving out a lecture that had half of the students already asleep. He smiled at how diligently you worked and how your breath would quicken when Professor Kwon switched the slides without a warning. It was the little idiosyncrasies like this that caught his attention, the kind of things that made him wonder where you’d been all his life.

The smile on Jungkook’s face disappeared when he came to that realization.

Fuck.

—

Jungkook rolls around the grass while you sit on the picnic blanket you two had set up. Midterms were over and grades would soon be announced. He wanted a much-needed distraction from the monotony of constant studying and you had suggested a small picnic in a nearby park. Of course, he agreed.

“We’re free,” he groans. “Finally free.”

Jungkook stares hungrily at the assortment of food you had laid out for the two of you. He tries to reach a hand out to grab a bottle of lemonade but ultimately fails in the end. You giggle at his silliness, popping a grape in your mouth.

“You’re welcome by the way,” you say jokingly. “Don’t think you could’ve done it without me.”

He sits up to face you, bowing deeply as if you were a traditional empress.

“Thank you,” he says, imitating a Joseon accent. He was watching far too many historical dramas recently.

“You’re embarrassing me,” you say, attempting to straighten him out. “Sit up.”

He complies, only after a few pulls from you, with a toothy grin on his face.

“Seriously, I don’t think I could have gone through the first few weeks of Professor Kwon’s class without your notes,” he sighs, opening his mouth to signal that he wanted to be fed. You roll your eyes but placed a grape between his teeth anyway.

“You have hands, you should know how to use them,” you mumble shyly.

You move to take another grape for yourself, but he grabs your wrist before you could. He intertwines his fingers into yours.

“Why should I when my hands are holding yours~,” he says in a sing-song voice. It made you want to throw up at how cheesy he was, but you couldn’t help but laugh along as he cringed at his own words. When was it so normal for him to hold your hands like this?

“You can’t go one sentence without flirting, can you?” you sigh, feigning annoyance.

“Not when it comes to you,” he replies, but you could feel sincerity laced between his laughter. “I can’t resist flirting when it makes you all giggly like this.”

You purse your lips to prevent yourself from smiling too brightly. Jungkook and you were somewhat past the point of being just friends by now, but you were too much of a coward to label what you had with him. What if there was a chance that he was just leading you on?

Jungkook saw your furrowed brows. He rubbed circles on your hands with his thumbs to ease you.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” he asks softly, about to let go.

“No-” you say a little too quickly, clasping him closer to you. Your faces were inches apart now, much nearer than they were before.

“D-don’t,” you attempt to say but you’re tongue tangled as you looked at his lips. He certainly does have nice lips...

“Don’t what?” he asks in a lowly voice. You start to look around you- anywhere that wasn’t him. The park was relatively empty but it still felt embarrassing to say anything too loud.

“D-don’t let me go,” you say, your eyes on the picnic blanket rather than on him. His gaze was too intense to look at. Jungkook feels his heart clench. You were cute, too cute.

He shouldn’t be feeling this attached to you, but he couldn’t help it. Everything you did, every word that came out of your mouth- it had him wanting more from you than he could possibly handle. It was dangerous to feel this way.

“Why don’t you want me to let you go?” he asks nervously. He too was anxious for the answer. If you were to confess to Jungkook right now, he’d get the first part of the bet done, but there’d be no turning back after your confession. He would have to lie to you from now on.

Jungkook closed his eyes, chanting to himself that it’s okay to like you for a little while, just as long as he doesn’t get too attached in the end. He needed the money, he really did.

“Because,” you start off with a sigh, staring at him now with glossy eyes. “I like you.”

Jungkook feels like he could do ten backflips in one go and it wouldn’t even drain him of energy. The smile on his face was huge, his eyes curling into that half-moon shape that made you swoon.

Jungkook was relieved and if the boys asked, it was because he’d only have to date you for three months. He’d die before he’d admit to them that he caught feelings because Taehyung, as generous as he was with his bets, would never give Jungkook the money unless he cleanly broke up with you. It was one of his unspoken rules.

“I like you too.”

You smile at him and he can’t help but pull you close, his lips hovering over yours.

“Can I?”

You nod.

His lips graze yours slightly but he pushes a bit closer when he feels you lean into his touch. He kisses you again, and again, and again, but you pull away when his tongue had started to prod at your lips. Your face was flushed, embarrassed to be doing this in such a public place.

“Maybe later?” you say, panting slightly. He gives you a cheeky grin and nods.

“At my place?” he asks with a wink.

You hesitate, letting go of his arms, twiddling with your fingers. You wanted to set clear labels on what your relationship was. You didn't want to accidentally get caught up in a friends-with-benefits situation and be all shocked when Jungkook ends up breaking your heart.

“So we’re dating now, right?” you ask cautiously, looking at him with a worried glint in your eyes.

Jungkook’s mouth opens to speak but no words come out. He thinks a little harder about the whole situation... He was getting good grades, spending some quality time with a girl he’s clearly attracted to, and having his rent paid off all in one? He was killing three birds with one stone. It shouldn’t be too big of a problem to catch feelings for now, right? It’s not like any of his relationships lasted longer than a couple of months anyway.

He nods, cupping your face lightly.

“Yeah,” he hesitates. “We’re dating.”

Jungkook wasn’t aware, as he gives you another light peck, that it wasn’t possible to have his cake and eat it too.

—

It happens naturally. You coming in and out of his apartment that he shared with his friends, you tangling your legs with his underneath the sheets of his bed. It was hard to imagine a life where you didn’t wake up with him by your side. You were so wrapped up in his touch, so wrapped up in the sweet words he would whisper into your ears, that you spent most of your time with him.

You weren’t really up to date with your friends anymore and he didn’t really hang out with his either. Jungkook shared an apartment with Seokjin and Hoseok, and so the only contact he had with the other boys was when they visited those two. He should’ve known to take you back home when all the boys bombarded into his living room, where you sat with him watching TV.

“The lovebirds are at it again,” Taehyung coos, a mysterious glint in his eyes. “The honeymoon stage hasn’t passed quite yet, has it?”

Jungkook chucks one of the sofa’s throw pillows at his friend, obviously annoyed. What the fuck did Taehyung think he was doing?

“Quit it,” he mutters. You were sitting next to Jungkook, his arm around your shoulder protectively

“Why?” Yoongi yawns. “Anyone can see how incredibly in love you two are.”

You didn’t quite like the smirk he gave the two of you. This didn’t feel like regular teasing... it felt like he knew something that you weren't aware of. It made you curl your toes out of fear.

“Guys,” Jimin says calmly. “Stop it.”

The boys shrug their shoulders as if they said nothing wrong.

“We’re just pointing out how cute they are together,” Taehyung noted, “It’s not like we’re lying to her or anything-”

“Yeah, or leading her on or anything like that-”

“I think I should go,” you say hurriedly, uncomfortable at how tense the atmosphere was. Jungkook was clenching his fists, about ready to start a fight any second. Knowing his strength, you didn’t want anyone to walk around with a bruised eye because you couldn’t handle a few jokes- if that’s what Taehyung and Yoongi think they’re making. Harmless jokes.

“I’ll take you home,” Jungkook announces, standing up with you. Namjoon pulls him down back on the couch.

“Let someone else take her,” he says sternly. “We need to talk.”

Jungkook was about to protest until you spoke up.

“I can get home by myself just fine.”

“Hoseok and I can take you,” Seokjin insists, pulling the unassuming man up with him. “We don’t mind.”

Hoseok gives you a lopsided smile and you return an equally awkward one.

“Okay, that’s settled,” you say, clapping your hands. You walk over to Jungkook. “I’ll text you later okay?”

He nods, grabbing your hand and kissing it lightly. Yoongi scoffs and Taehyung glares at Jungkook. The dirty glances they were giving each other... You didn’t like it at all.

“Let me know when you get home, okay?”

“Okay.”

—

The walk to your apartment was unnecessarily awkward, Hoseok and Seokjin were talking too much and you talked too little. You tried to respond to their every quip, but you weren’t in the mood for chatting after that whole mess.

“You okay, [Y/N]?” Hoseok asks worriedly. “Don’t think too much about what those idiots said back there, they’re like that all the time.”

You nod, keeping your eyes on the ground. There was something chipping away at the back of your mind, something you wanted to get out of your chest.

“Would you say Jungkook and Yoongi act similarly?” you hesitate to say, “like with relationships?”

The two boys exchanged nervous glances at each other.

“Well, it depends,” Seokjin starts, choosing his words specifically. “What about relationships specifically?”

“Does he...,” you start off, not knowing the right phrase without sounding too harsh, “play around with girls? Like how Yoongi played around with Soobin?”

Hoseok looked at you with a raised brow.

“Who’s Soobin?” he asks before getting punched in the arm by Seokjin. “What the fuck bro!”

Seokjin clears his throat.

“What Hoseok meant to say,” he starts, glaring at his friend a little too harshly, “is that Yoongi never really introduces us to his girlfriends. You, on the other hand, are one of the few girls Jungkook actually took the time to invite over.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok chimes in. “He’s not exactly the most chivalrous, but he wouldn’t ghost someone like Yoongi did.”

Somehow their words weren’t enough to satisfy you. There was still something off in the conversation that transpired between the three boys- as if they were all keeping something from you. You stopped abruptly in front of your apartment complex, finally making eye-contact with the two boys.

“Do you think...” you start, a slight quiver in your voice, “that Jungkook is cheating on me?”

The two boys let out a deep breath that you didn’t even notice they were holding and laughed joyously together. They cackled as if what you said was the funniest thing they had ever heard in their life. Seokjin wipes a stray tear from his eye.

“Y-you think Jungkook’s cheating on you?!”

You nod, a little embarrassed at their reaction. Hoseok shakes his head, sighing out of his laughter.

“Trust me,” Hoseok starts, his breath evening out. “Jungkook would never cheat on you.”

You start to giggle along with them until a serious look suddenly takes over Seokjin’s features. He faces you fully.

“But listen [Y/N],” he starts. “If Jungkook hurts you, just know that he does love you. Like, undeniably. He does.”

“And we’re not just saying that as his friends either,” Hoseok continues. “We know how he’s like and we can tell that he really does like you.”

You smile at the two, feeling a small sense of comfort at their words.

“Thank you, guys. I mean it.”

They pat you on the back.

“Anything for Jungkook’s girlfriend.”

—

You walk through the campus cafeteria, eyes searching for a free table that you can sit alone in. Jungkook had Taekwondo practice so there would be no lovey-dovey feeding time with him.

He’s been a lot tenser since the living room incident (which was already a week ago) and it seemed like he got more agitated as the days passed. Not towards you directly, but he’d always mutter slight insults whenever Yoongi or Taehyung passed by. It made you worried that you had done something to possibly drive a wrench into their relationship without even knowing it.

‘Whatever,’ you thought, ‘I’ll talk about it with him when he comes over later.’

You aren’t able to find a seat, though, when you feel dainty fingers wrap around your elbow to pull you back lightly.

“[Y/N],” Gaeun says in a low voice. “We need to talk.”

It wasn’t like you had been ignoring them deliberately, though that was definitely the case at the start. You just couldn’t find the time to really hang out with them as much as you used to since you were with Jungkook most of the time. It was like that too when Gaeun and Soobin were in relationships, so you never really felt bad about doing it yourself.

“Yeah sure. I miss you guys,” you smile at her, but she doesn’t return it back.

“Come with me.”

Gaeun leads you to a table near the back of the room, where Soobin was sat up against the wall with her own tray of food. You sit down in front of her and Gaeun takes the seat next to Soobin.

“Good, you’re here,” Soobin says, apprehension laced in her voice. “We need to talk about Jungkook.”

You roll your eyes.

“Not this again-”

“[Y/N],” Gaeun warns. “Listen.”

You keep quiet, a little intimidated of how scary their expressions were.

“It’s all a bet,” Soobin says sternly.

You furrow your brows at her. She tends to speak vaguely when you needed her to be specific the most.

“What?”

“It’s a bet, [Y/N],” Gaeun repeats for her. “Jungkook’s only dating you because Taehyung said he’d pay his rent off if he did.”

You clench your fist on the table. How could they sit there and spew lies so easily?

“What are you guys-”

“Those dicks do this all the time,” Soobin rambles. “They play stupid games with girls just to fucking break their hearts later on and-”

“I don’t believe you,” you say confidently. “Jungkook would never do that to me. Besides-”

Gaeun didn’t even wait until you stopped talking to play a recording on her phone. The voices were familiar enough to recognize.

“So you’re telling me that Jungkook’s just fucking around with [Y/N] because he wants priority registration? You have to be fucking joking...”

You could tell from the sound of the person’s voice that it was Soobin. It sounded like she was putting on her clothes.

“Of course not. He’s doing it for priority registration and his rent getting paid for the rest of the year. I’m not joking when I say Tae goes big with his bets. He likes to flex his money on us like that.”

Your jaw drops at the sound of the man’s voice. It was Yoongi. You were sure of it.

“And you guys don’t feel bad? Like at all?”

“Why should we? Jungkook’s planning to break up with her next week anyway so she doesn’t catch feelings for too long. It’s not like they were gonna last past the three-month deal...”

Gaeun paused the recording when she sees you bite your lip so harshly that blood starts to surface. This didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel real.

“I hooked up with him last weekend,” Soobin admits, shame written all over her face. “He was spewing stuff about Jungkook spending all his time with you and not really hanging out with the boys like he used to.”

“You still hook up with Yoongi? After all he did to you?” you ask, not meaning to come off aggressive but undoubtedly did.

“Look,” Gauen starts, taking the heat off of Soobin. “She was just drunk and looking to have fun. I was with her that night and I was talking to Namjoon. He...”

Gaeun trailed off, but you were sick of it. Sick of being kept in the dark from something you should’ve known all along.

“What?”

“H-he told me that all the boys were getting tired of him playing around with you,” she says, twiddling with her fingers. “He’s supposed to break up with you today. Some of the guys think he’s just prolonging it to fuck with you and they’re getting really annoyed-”

You bite back the tears threatening to spill over any minute now.

“Hoseok and Seokjin told me to trust Jungkook. They said he wouldn’t hurt me-”

“Did they also tell you that their rent gets paid too if Jungkook pulled through with the bet?” Soobin replies angrily. “Because they live together, don’t they?”

You open your mouth but no sound comes out- just a small whimper. Your lips start to quiver and you bite your lip again to calm yourself down. When you had collected your thoughts, you glared up at the two girls.

“And you didn’t tell me this earlier?”

Soobin scoffed.

“You were fucking ignoring us too, how were we supposed to tell you?”

“Still it wouldn’t have killed you to-”

“Don’t take your anger out on us,” Gaeun warns, her finger pointing at you. “Jungkook is the one to blame. We told you from the start that he was bad news.”

You pursed your lips and Gaeun put her finger down, feeling guilty that she lashed out on you when obviously you were just processing the information.

“Hey, I’m sorry-”

“Why me?” you ask with teary eyes. “What did I even do to them to deserve this?”

They glance over at each other for a long while before Soobin breaks the silence. You had the right to know, but at the same time, they knew it would break you.

“It’s a sick game that they play where they just choose someone randomly...” Soobin starts off gently handing off the next few words to Gaeun, “and you were just the first girl to walk into Professor Kwon’s lecture hall. He thought you’d be...”

“Easy,” Soobin finished.

Just as they predicted, you had burst out in tears.

—

Jungkook opens the door to your apartment, using the spare key you had given him a month earlier since he tended to visit often. It was more convenient that way.

He was freshly out of his Taekwondo garb, still sweaty, but otherwise clean from taking a shower at the campus gym. He found it strange at how dark the room was, but he knew you were on the couch from the noticeable lump of a blanket on it.

All Jungkook wanted was to cuddle with you and fall asleep in your arms after such a harrowing day. Lord knows he needs your warmth right now.

He smiled as he made his way towards you, but stops in his tracks when you sit up from where you laid. He couldn’t quite see you in the darkness so he walked to the light switch to turn the lights on. His heart broke at the sight of you.

Tears stained your cheeks, your eyes red and puffy from all the crying. You looked a mess and his blood boiled at the thought of someone hurting you.

“What happened?” he asked, rushing over to you and cupping your face in his hands. You push him away.

“You don’t have to act anymore,” you say softly. “I can handle it.”

He looks at you with furrowed brows.

“What are you talking about-”

“I get that you really need the money,” you say through bated breaths, “I get that financially, it would have really helped, but did you really have to hurt me to do that?”

Jungkook’s breathing stopped. Everything was happening too quickly, his world crashing down when you uttered those words. He knew what this meant, knew that now you would see past his lies. Jungkook couldn’t have you finding out this way.

He kneeled in front of you, attempting to wipe away the tears from your eyes but you push him off.

“[Y/N] no-”

“It could’ve been anyone,” you whimper, trying to look up at the ceiling to prevent any more tears from falling down. “Anyone could’ve walked through that door and you would’ve been okay with it.”

“That’s not true-” he interjects but you stop him.

“A-and you flirted with me all the time ‘cause you knew that I wasn’t used to it,” you say, your voice quivering. “You took advantage of me.”

Jungkook shakes his head rapidly, eyes pleading for you to let him speak. It hurt seeing you refuse to even look at him, to have your eyes so filled with sadness because of what he did to you. He fucked up, he fucked up so bad.

“No, you have to listen-”

“They told me not to trust you,” you whimper somberly. “They told me and I didn’t believe them because I... I was delusional or something. I thought that someone like you could actually like someone like me-”

His heart broke. It wasn’t you that didn’t deserve him. It was him. All him.

“Please don’t say that-”

“Did you come here to seal the deal? To finally break up with me?” you ask sadly. “Are you happy you’ll get the classes you want next quarter, Jungkook?”

He clenches his teeth. Jungkook knows you’re mad, knows you have a right to be, but it feels like he’s being cornered by you. Why won’t you give him the chance to speak?

“[Y/N], no,” he says sternly, “You have to trust me when I say that it went past just a bet. I like you. Genuinely, I like you.”

There was no point in lying any longer. You deserved to know the truth, but he needed you to know all of it- not just the information your friends cherry-picked to fit their narrative. He tried to speak again, but you wouldn’t let him.

“How could you,” you whimper. “How could someone be so cruel?”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at the words. He should’ve seen this coming. How could he delude himself into thinking he’d be okay if you find out- that he’d be fine seeing you heartbroken? He was disgusted with himself.

“I’m sorry [Y/N],” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, your vision getting blurry from the tears. He clasps your hands in his, knowing that it used to soothe you whenever you felt worried over something, but you just wailed harder at his touch. He didn’t know what to do, he didn't even know where to start.

“Stop pretending like you care,” you cry. “Please. It hurts.”

“It was a bet,” he admits and he breaths through the words to prevent himself from getting too emotional, “but I promise that my feelings are genuine. You have to trust me.”

“Trust you?” you ask crudely.

You stare at him, slowing your breaths to ease the crying. There was a certain emptiness in your gaze and it scared him. It was awfully frightening having you looking at him with a certain animosity that was not there before. Like he was a stranger.

“I can’t do that anymore, Jungkook,” you say softly, “because I hate you.”

—

A/N: Gasp A double update?! Say it isn’t so... I had so much fun writing this!!! Probably one of my favorite fics I’ve written in a while because I love this trope. How do y’all feel about Jungkook? Forgive or forget? Let me know!! Thank you @altus-gens for requesting this story, I hope you like it :)

Please leave any comment, critiques, or just random thoughts about my story! I’m planning my murder mystery series rn and I’m so excited (I might... do an album giveaway along with it...) I really love the direction I’m taking this blog in and I hope you guys are excited for the stories to come~~

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meltwonu · 3 years

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| 𝖓𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒 | CHAPTER 7

pairing; camboy!seokmin x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; camboy!au, university!au, camboy!seokmin, masturbation, side!readerxmingyu, dirty talk, degradation, hair pulling, there’s like one liners about daddy!kink/choking/blindfolds, hookups! AAHHH finally! CH 7! 😭💕 Omg the way this was supposed to be posted literally how many fuckin weeks ago LOOOL ☠️🥲 I also ended up splitting this chapter and making it shorter since I didn’t have much time to proofread, but ch 8 is long bc of that so dkfjskdh sorry in advance 🥴💕 Also I will be fixing my masterlists tonight and then just reblogging them tmr! Also will try to catch up on inbox msgs tmr too! I know I’m very behind on a lot of stuff, I’m rly just overwhelmed from the entirety of august lol 🥲🥲 But as always, thank you so so so so so so so much for your constant support 💕 Ya’ll mean so much to me 🥺 So enjoy ch 7, have a good rest of your day and I will see you tmr! I love you!! 💕💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - ?

*queued post.

The two of you ace the paper, naturally.

Even when your professor told you that points would be docked for having to redo the paper.

‘I just can’t do that to my best student,’ she’d said - eyes glancing fondly at Seokmin as he sheepishly smiled back. ‘And it was a great paper. The two of you worked together fantastically!’

Seokmin could only blush when he got you alone after class; delicate fingertips nervously itching a spot on his cheek while you stood across from him picking at a loose thread on your sweater.

You nervously smiled back - only for a different reason than himself.

‘I’ll have to repay you somehow, it’s only fair! You did most of the work because of me!,’ he exclaimed, ‘How about we get dinner sometime? On me, of course!’

Visions of his sweet face smirking at you with lust pooling in his eyes are all you can see when you blink - but you agree, head nodding shakily as he’d laughed and readjusted his book-bag.

‘I’ll text you sometime soon then, so we can find a good time for the both of us? I have some things to deal with so it might not be for a while... But I’ll remember!’

‘Sounds good!’

And Seokmin can tell something’s off about you; ‘maybe she’s just tired today’, he thinks to himself, nodding when you smile shyly and start to make a move to leave before him.

‘I’ll see you later, okay, Seokmin? I gotta go... Uh, class and stuff, y’know?’

And you do see him later. Kind of.

‘Hey everyone, welcome back to my stream! If I’m being honest, I’ve been kind of wondering lately… Which pet names do you guys like me using? Let me know in the comments! I could use some feedback and ideas!’

Seokmin streams three times in one week - half because he really needs the cash and the other half because he’s been feeling somewhat on edge lately himself.

His workload for classes aren’t letting up, Jihoon’s only getting stricter with his lessons and the university’s production of Xcalibur is coming up and he’s crossing his fingers for the lead.

But in the midst of it all, he spends any free time trying to come up with ideas for live streams and the constant talking about sex whilst not even bothering to get off himself finally gets to him late one night when he’s tucked alone in bed with his thoughts.

‘Maybe I should go to one of Soonyoung’s parties next time and let off some steam… That might help...’ He tells himself; even if he’s generally not fond of them at all.

‘And then I could--’

“Oh! Mingyu! Mmh, fuck, your cock is so biiiiiiig~!”

Seokmin’s teeth grit in an instant - eyes darting to the wall that he shared with his next door neighbour. It wouldn’t be the first time, but at some point Seokmin had learned to tune it out - until just now when he couldn’t.

“Yeah? You like that? Fuck, your pussy is so fuckin’ tight around me, baby… I can’t even fit all of my cock inside…”

‘Not again…’ Flashbacks of almost walking into Jeonghan that one time making him groan.

Except this time, Seokmin chooses to indulge.

Because while he was smart enough to soundproof his room whenever he streamed - that didn’t mean his neighbours always did.

‘Well, as long as Mingyu doesn’t find out...’ Grumbling, Seokmin turns onto his side facing away from the wall - hand palming himself over his sweats as he bites into his bottom lip.

‘Just a little bit… Just let me cum once and I’ll go to bed, I swear…’

And you’re not necessarily proud of it.

“Oh, god, p-please, harder! Need you to--to fuck me so, a-ah, so much harder!”

But the way Mingyu’s bed slams against the wall when he starts to thrust into you harder makes your eyes roll to the back of your head and forget that Seokmin lives just in the apartment next door and can probably hear the two of you, clear as day.

‘It’s not like he knows it’s me anyway...’

“Surprised you finally came around, baby~ Mm, what made you want me, hmm?” A cocky grin eases itself onto Mingyu’s lips as you fight the urge to roll your eyes.

“Nothin’ just… Heard from a friend of a friend that you were good in bed and wanted to see for myself~” You retort; nails digging into the skin of his back as he winces.

“And? Living up to your expectations, princess?”

“Ngh, right n-now you’re at a--a 7 so...”

The smirk on Mingyu’s face slides clean off as he growls; nails digging into your skin as you moan.

“Let’s see about that then, princess.”

Seokmin’s hand is slicked with precum and the metallic taste in his mouth from biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood make his head feel fuzzy.

“Ah, f-fuck, right there! Fuck me harder there! Mmnh, feels so good when you p-pull on my hair~! I want it rough, p-please!”

“Fuck, your desperate ‘lil cunt is squeezing my cock so tight... You’re such a filthy ‘lil thing, aren’t you, baby? So fucking desperate for cock~ I’m gonna make you get on your knees and clean off my cock after I’m done fucking your pretty ‘lil cunt, okay?”

“Y-yes!”

Seokmin’s hand slides up and down his shaft - hips thrusting into his enclosed palm as he hides underneath his bedsheets, writhing with the urge to cum.

‘Fuck, I’m so c-close... Just need to cum so bad...’

He can already imagine the position Mingyu’s in with the stranger - Mingyu fucking them from behind with his hands tangled in their hair as he pulls them towards his own body.

And Seokmin’s mind races at the suggestions people had given him about the things they liked too - all of them suddenly making his mouth water at the thought of having someone pliant underneath him.

‘I just want a daddy to put me in my place...’

‘I want to be blindfolded and be forced to cum over and over until I can’t take it...’

‘I want you to fuck me and use toys on me all night...’

‘I want you to choke me while you fuck my pussy hard...’

‘I wanna hear you praise me while you make a mess of me...’

A stuttered gasp falls from Seokmin’s lips as he tightens his grip around his cock - hand moving up and down his shaft twice as fast as he tries to race the stranger on the other side of the wall to an orgasm.

“Mingyu, m-make me cum! I’m s-so close... My pussy feels so, mmh, f-fuckin’ full... B-but don’t cu--cum inside of, a-ah, me...”

“Tsk, fine... I’m just gonna have to cum on that pretty face of yours then, okay, baby?”

Seokmin’s mouth hangs agape as his wrist snaps faster; his head almost thrashing against his pillow as his toes curl and his entire body goes rigid when he tips over the edge and into an orgasm.

‘Fucking finally...!’ He exclaims mentally - cum painting his hand and catching on his sweats and boxer briefs as he lets out a satisfied sigh while he rides out his high alone in his bed.

‘God, I need... Help.’

You don’t stay the night; not that you ever do when you have a hookup.

Instead, you head home and take a long shower - massaging your scalp from where Mingyu tugged on your hair a little too hard and you take your time scrubbing away all the dried cum off of your skin.

You weren’t necessarily crazy about hookups, but lately, you’d felt too on the edge to take care of it alone and listening to Dokyeom’s live streams had only made it harder for you to focus when you were too busy thinking about him and his voice all day.

‘God, the toys are only going to do so much... I really need to figure this out...’ You mentally sigh, ‘Should I stop listening to his stream? Maybe that would help...’

But the thought alone makes you a little sad - especially when it seemed like he was starting to stream more recently and was starting to find confidence in himself to do it.

‘Nah, I’ll just... Figure something out later. When I have more time.’

One New Message

1:54AM

From: Suggested: Lee Seokmin

‘Sorry for the late message, I couldn’t sleep 😅 But I’m free on Friday night if you wanted to get dinner still? I had plans but I think I’m gonna cancel them cuz I’m a little burnt out on creativity for my projects so... Yeah, just let me know! 😅 I know a great place in town! - Seokmin’

#seokmin smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seokmin scenarios #seokmin imagines #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seokmin fic #dokyeom smut

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inexplicifics · 2 years

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Ask meme - 14. Bodyguard AU + 73. Stranded Due to Inclement Weather - Milambert? :)

As entertaining as it would be to make Milena the bodyguard, I gotta go with Lambert, because good gods does this boy do overprotective well.

And we'll make it a modern AU.

So Lambert's driving her home from college for winter break (and we aren't going to talk about the hoops she had to jump through to get her father to let her go to college rather than marrying someone Suitable right out of highschool), and a really nasty snowstorm blows up. The only place close enough to take shelter is this shabby little motel that's seen much better days. It doesn't even take credit cards; and of course Milena doesn't usually carry cash, so Lambert shells out for a room. Milena promises to pay him back as soon as she can.

It's not a very large room, even if it does technically have two beds, and the heating is pretty much crap. Milena curls up under one bed's blankets and her coat and is still shivering.

Lambert...doesn't like to admit how much he's come to like the girl over the last semester of following her around and standing in corners while she goes to class or studies in the library. This is just a job. When he took it, he assumed she'd be a stuck-up bitch like her eldest sister, or a cold calculating creature like her middle sister. But no, Milena is...

Is kind. She's always willing to help out anyone who asks, and she makes sure Lambert gets meals and breaks, and doesn't go out of her way to make his life harder, and has somehow managed to catch him in conversation often enough that she knows about his brothers and his little niece and his dad's farm, and asks about them regularly. She even made Ciri a Solstice present, a beautiful shirt embroidered with wolves and lions, which Ciri is going to fucking adore. And Milena made it, with her own hands, instead of just buying it!

And she's smart, and sweet, and really pretty.

And letting her shiver all night wouldn't be very bodyguard...y.

So he sits down next to her and opens his coat so when he wraps his arm around her, she's tucked up against his side inside the coat, nice and snug.

"Thank you," she murmurs, nestling closer, and aw shit, she's small and warm and fits so perfectly under his arm, against his side.

"...My pleasure," he says, sounding a bit strangled to his own ears.

He's pretty sure if he holds her all night, if he keeps her warm in his arms through the long cold dark, he won't come out the other side as the same man he is right now. He can see the precipice, the moment everything is going to change.

He looks down at her dark hair as she nestles against his chest, and thinks, Fuck it, and wraps his arms more tightly around her.

Whatever the morning brings, he'll face it, standing between Milena and any danger. Not for pay, anymore. Just...for Milena. For the warm weight against his chest that feels a little bit like love.

#questions answered #ask meme

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miekasa · 3 years

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AOT characters x their partner on social media is something I love thinking about omg. Eren is the number 1 menace, I swear, he likes keeping an aesthetic and he wants your face on his profile, and he wants to be in yours, and he will brainstorm for cool captions for you both 😭 Jean acts all shy, but that tall mf also lowkey feels the same way as Eren 😭. Mikasa is very relaxed and cute about it, she’s so effortless when it comes posting you on her feed, same with Sasha probably. Connie would post your funny faces 100% while Armin….blonde coconut I feel would be shy at first but is a fan of couple-y posts. Same with Erwin, and Erwin would add the cheesiest suburban dad captions like “my better half” or shit like “forever yours” 😭🥴😭 Hange is just all over, like they’ll be super unpredictable, from wildly funny to very touching stuff. Pick is just sweetness!! All around sweetness that can make you melt. Porco would be…actually I’m not sure, he seems like he’s in line with Eren and Jean 😭 Meanwhile, Levi would not care at all about social media announcements and “instagram official” and people outside his close circles find out about his partner on their tenth-year anniversary because they bumped into you both while you were out on a date 😭😭

No because you hit the nail on the head here anon!!

Eren and Connie are fiends and almost shameless in how much they want to be on your socials. If you do the thing where you record your food when you’re out to eat with Eren, he’ll interject into your video—“And me! She’s with me!! Show me!!” After some time—or if you tease him by purposefully leaving him out of the frame—he’ll just snatch your phone when you’re recording or taking pictures and makes sure to get himself with the front camera 😭😭 oh and you will be on his, it comes with the price of dating him, he loves posting videos that gradually zoom in on your face before you notice he’s recording.

Connie just photobombs everything. Even if just his eyebrows make in the frame, you better post it. He’s watching you. He loves taking funny selfies and posting them with absolutely no context, and videos too!! He reminds me of that TikTok of the guy who pans the camera to his gf laying in the grass is like, “We had a beach date, and, yeah I love her,” and pans the camera to his face, “I’m faster than her tho. We raced. But yeah, love her.”

Jean pretends like he doesn’t care if you don’t post him, but he cares 😭😭 he’s always willing to take a photo for you, but he wants to take them with you too!! He’ll not so subtly be like, “Hey, did you post those pics from the other day?” as a gentle “reminder,” and he’s honestly so cute you gotta give into him. He likes posting pics with you too, and claims he’s gotta keep it updated so he’s got something to show his mom—“She’ll think I’m making you up if I don’t have proof, babe.”

Armin gets nervous about posting you at first—the whole being publicly affectionate thing, plus the internet is forever, you know. But once he sees that he doesn’t necessarily have to post you guys holding hands or kissing all the time, he relaxes. Just a picture together, or a picture of you from one of your dates every once in a while is cool with him. He takes good candids and they’re his favorite to edit and make all pretty. He gets surprised whenever you post him, and he’s honestly not checking for it/on social media all that often, so he finds out through a friend like Sasha who’s bubbling, “Armin you guys are gonna make me jealous!! Your beach dates look so cute!!” And Armin’s a little confused, until she adds, “I saw the pictures on Insta!!” And now he’s slightly pink in the face.

Porco is… more likely than not recording you innocently vibing or minding your own business before he comes to bother you bye. He thinks your surprised face is so fucking funny and needs several video evidences of it. He gets grumpy when you get an off-guard of him, but just show it to him after and suddenly he’s like, “I look pretty good there, actually,” like yeah, dumbass, that was the point 🙄🙄 he posts his shit on Twitter tho, and is always acting like he doesn’t know you—“Girlfriend for sale, willing to trade for Breath of the Wild. At least $30 cash otherwise,” and thinks it’s funny when you threaten to block him. Or he’s subtweeting you when you CLEARLY follow him: “Anybody else know someone who falls asleep 30 mins into a drive?? No?? Just me??”

Erwin and his captions anon please I’m hollering. You know he uses the filters embedded into Instagram, too, and it makes some pics come out grainy/more dull. He comes questioning Hange with genuine curiosity, “How come your photos look so… bright? How do I do that?” Sir, open up VSCO and free yourself from the shackles of Sepia.

Levi could not care less about what and how much you post of him on social media, and his own is so scarcely updated; he really just has it so he’s not a complete ghost to the world, and to occasionally cure a fit of boredom. The pictures he posts are always nice tho, simple, cleanly edited and shot, and sometimes he’s not even in them. He doesn’t mind if you post him or not, but every once in a while he’ll stop by with a simple heart emoji in the comments. (To which Hange absolutely loses their shit every time and loves to joke about, “omgggggg are you and @leviackerman official???? 🤪🤪🤪)

Hange is the undisputed champion of photodumps and you cannot prove me wrong. Above all, they love posting a series of chaotic photos that tell a story—three slides dedicated to photos that caught you falling down; several photos back to back of you stuffing your face with food; frames of the both of you posing for a photo with the front timer but of course something made them topple over you. Their captions don’t help either, almost always unrelated from the disaster that just unfolded. Could have posted a photo dump of you two skipping (and falling) at the park and the caption is like “fun fact: a cockroach can survive up to five weeks with its head cut off!!” (The disconnect between the pics and captions always confuses Erwin. @e.smith: Very cool! But, what do roaches have to do with you guys looking like you broke your ankles? PS—is everybody okay?)

Mikasa is relaxed about posting you, and she lowkey really likes to be posted on your socials. She doesn’t say much about it, but she likes going back through your profile and looking and what you posted, and the comments from your guys’ friends being supportive. The pictures don’t necessarily spell out that you guys are Together, but that’s okay with her; she doesn’t need four pics of you guys kissing on her timeline to make her happy. She has lots of pictures she doesn’t post tho and you’d be shocked to find them, you gotta hype her up a bit to post them, “Mika you look hot here!!! The people need to see!!! Feed them!!!”

It comes naturally to Sasha, too. She likes documenting your dates with pictures and videos and has a blast editing them afterwards, too. Just AirDrop her the pictures you took and she’ll fix them up for both of you to post later. She’s a fan of silly matching captions and is always in your comments with a million emojis.

Pieck absolutely the sweetest girl. Her whole feed manages to naturally come out in soft filters and pastel colors. She always tells you she doesn’t have to edit a thing when you’re in the picture. Definitely posts photo dumps that include pics of food, sunrises, her cats, and a few off-guards of you thrown in there. Abuses the bugs and sparkly emojis in the captions.

Annie literally posts one pic a few months (by a few months, I mean like 11 months) into your relationship with the simple and upfront caption: “This is my girlfriend” and everyone is in the comments immediately bye. Berty is acting super surprised even tho he basically set you guys up, somehow Reiner genuinely didn’t know, and Sasha is clowning him for not catching on, and then he’s like “wait since when????? i thought they were just really good friends????” Mikasa comments a singular scissor emoji and it sends everyone into orbit, even Annie likes the comment.

#anonymous #annie and mikasa having this weird friendly but teasing but blunt dynamic on social media is the reason i’m still here #every once in a while annie comments on mikasa photos wirh something obvious like ‘your hair is getting longer.’#and mika is like ‘yeah i know i’m growing it myself thanks annie’#they’re so fucking funny bye #aot x reader #minicanons

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unrestedjade · 3 years

Text

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

#ds9 #star trek #meta #ferengi #i love them Too Much help #reliving my brief libertarian phase from high school from the opposite direction #my heart wants to make them simultaneously as queer and as repressed as possible #i didn't even make it to the goddamned blessed exchequer my head is too full #i will find beauty in this vulgarity if it kills me #this is too long #why did i spend my time this way

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 years

Text

Love is a Bundle of Contradictions.

This artwork was a piece I commissioned from @shimmeryspark!

... There is no explanation for this other than my friends encouraged me to write Valentine’s Day Raven and Jade fluff, since the main saga is a bit lot of angst right now. (Special thanks to @twstpasta since they let me borrow their twstsona for plot reasons :9)

Imagine this...

“You WHAT?!”

“Ehehe~ Sorry...!! I guess I went and made a bad decision, heehoo~” Mac stuck out their tongue and lightly bonked their own head with a fist. “Silly me~”

“Making a deal with Azul is the very definition of a bad decision,” Raven groaned, slapping a hand to her face. “I... I cannot believe you. Dare I ask what the conditions were?”

“I gave him my taste buds! He said he’ll give them back if you help out with stocking up on supplies for the Mostro Lounge.”

“That’s... suspiciously simple. And you really just handed over your taste buds just like that? You can’t taste your beloved cheese anymore.”

“I know!” Mac pouted. “It’s so sad, so you’ll help this rataroni out, right?”

“I find it odd that Azul is demanding my assistance, seeing as how I am not the one that made the deal with him to begin with. However... I cannot turn my back on a friend in need. I will lend you a helping wing—er, hand.”

“Sweet, sweet!!” Mac clasped Raven’s hands happily. “Just remember to show up this Sunday afternoon. Meet up’s in the town square. Oh, and be sure to wear something cute!”

“Something cute? Why would...”

“It’s part of the deal—so you just gotta, okay? That’s what Azul said!” Mac paused, before adding, “Oh, oh! And bring some homemade choco in a heart-shaped box!! That’s another contract condition!”

“Oh... O-Okay...?”

Raven leaned back against a lamp post, anxiously winding a finger around the string of small pearls at her collarbone. In her other hand was a bag, and in that bag, a heart-shaped box of homemade chocolates—just as Mac had told her.

A silver heart-shaped charm dangled from the necklace, lying still against her real hammering heart. Rarely did she venture out into the local town—and, standing there by her lonesome, the raven felt out of place and awkward.

An addendum to a story that had already been penned.

She watched as her silver charm caught a wink of sun and guided the light down its curve. Reflected back in the charm’s surface was the raven herself.

Today, her inky hair was cast up in a high pigtail and secured with a cobalt ribbon. She had traded her usual outfit for a pale blouse with billowy puff sleeves, white stockings, and a high waist skirt in a plaid pattern—cobalt, like her ribbons.

I hope this satisfies the conditions of the deal.

Raven checked the time on her phone; any minute now, Azul would be showing up, and they’d get this over with. Then she could return to her attic to roost, and Mac could return to feasting on cheese and inhaling poison—

“Oya. Do my eyes deceive me, or is that you, Miss Raven?” a silken cadence called out to her, rising above the hustle and bustle of the town.

“... You,” she responded flatly, narrowing her eyes at a certain eel as he parted from a crowd.

Ah.

Jade, too, had abandoned his typical uniform in favor of casual comfort. He wore a pair of dress pants and a grey turtleneck—and over it was a brown trench coat, unbuttoned to show off how snugly that sweater fit against his lean, muscular body.

Raven squinted. His earring was slightly different today as well. Rather than three diamond shaped sturgeon scales dangling from his ear, there were heart shaped ones. Blue and glassy, like the calm sea after a storm.

His hands were polite folded behind his back... hiding something. Whatever that something was, petals of pink, red, and yellow-orange were poking out.

If she didn’t know any better, she would have said he looked handsome—and innocent—enough. But she did know better.

“What are you doing here?” Raven demanded, no longer playing with her necklace. Her hands went to her sides, curling into balls.

“Fufufu. The town is a public space. I am free to come and go as I please, the very same as you.” Jade tilted his head to one side. “Although today, I am here on an errand. The Mostro Lounge is short on centerpiece supplies, you see. I have been sent to restock.”

“What a coincidence. I’m also here to help the Mostro Lounge restock,” Raven said, a bit of bitterness slipping into her voice, “as per a contract.”

Jade attempted to appear sympathetic—but he allowed a cruel chuckle to escape him. “I see now. I was not aware that you were the one indebted to Octavinelle, Miss Raven. Had I known sooner, I would not have hesitated to summon you to fill in for Kon-san’s morning shift.”

“I’m not a waitress for you to order around.” Raven jutted out her chin defiantly. “I’m here strictly on business, so if you would kindly leave me be...!!”

“I believe you said you had to assist the Mostro Lounge. Would it not be prudent, then, to go about tending to that duty rather than standing about and looking like a lost lamb?”

“Sh-Shut up! It’s not my fault that Azul is running late...!!”

“You were waiting for Azul?” Jade said, his brows pinching together briefly. “You are terribly mistaken. It is not Azul who is assisting you with the restock, but myself.”

“... Beg pardon?”

Wear something cute, bring homemade chocolates, Mac had said. And it has to be you, Raven, not me! But why? Slowly, slowly... The pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

A thought dawned on Raven:

I’ve definitely been tricked.

“Well!! That’s all fine and dandy, but I think I shall be on my way home now. I really must be having a chat with a friend of mine,” she babbled, turning on her heel. They’re going to be buried in tomato sauce when I get to them.

“How cruel of you to abandon those in need, Miss Raven. And to think that Mac-san shall be without their taste buds... and I, burdened with the task of restocking by my lonesome. What a tragic way to spend Valentine’s Day,” Jade exhaled deeply and wiped at an imaginary tear. “Shikushikushiku...”

Raven’s left eye twitched. “Don’t you paint me as the bad guy here...!!”

“Aren’t you?” Jade challenged, a smile still plastered on his face despite his mocking tone.

“Grrr...!!” She whipped around, thrusting an index finger at him. “Listen here... Leech!! The only reason I am even here was to help someone out of a contract your shady boss roped them into!”

“If you are as selfless and loving as you claim to be, then you should have no issues with shopping with me,” Jade countered smoothly. “After all, they say that actions speak louder than words.”

The little bird vibrated with irritation, her cheeks puffed out in a pout. Her stomach coiled tight, uneasiness brewing. As much as she hated to admit to it, he was right.

Raven clenched her teeth and sent a glare his way. “Fine...!! But I will be keeping an eye on you to ensure that there is no funny business!”

“Then by all means, ‘keep an eye on me’, and do not let your gaze stray for even a single moment,” Jade chuckled, somehow sneering through his smile. “I welcome it.”

The eel held out a hand to Raven. “We’d best not be separated while on our errand.”

She stared hesitantly. Her eyes flickered between his eyes and the hand he offered. Subtle changes in her expression occurred in rapid succession—the raising of her lids, the tremble to her lower lip, the tinge to her cheeks.

“... Yeah. We’d best not,” Raven finally agreed, her grip on her bag—the bag containing her chocolates—tightened. “Which is precisely why I will follow you at a safe distance.”

“Ah, but that would ruin the surprise.”

“What, the bouquet? You’re not exactly doing a masterful job of hiding it.”

“Nor are you doing well to hide your little surprise, Miss Raven.”

“I was deceived. This chocolate is not meant for you.”

“I didn’t say that it was, now did I?”

“... I’m going to eat them myself, then. That’ll show you!”

“Do with it what you wish, for selfish purposes or not,” Jade laughed, revealing his bouquet—all the colors of the setting sun. “These flowers, on the other hand, are meant to be gifted...”

He pushed the bouquet toward Raven. Up close, the flowers seemed even more vibrant and beautiful. Their warm hues enveloping the raven, enchanting her senses. Mesmerized, she reached out to accept the flowers—when Jade suddenly clicked his tongue and pulled them away.

“But alas—not to you,” he teased, pressing a finger to his lips. “Do try to keep up with me now, Miss Raven.”

Jade turned and dove into a sea of townspeople, leaving a trail of sunset-colored petals in his wake. And, like the fool that she was, a fuming raven stormed after him—chocolates still in hand. Heart quivering.

Terrariums—the flowers were meant for terrariums all along.

Jade had taken his sweet time leading her down a winding path and to an art supply store tucked away in a corner, and even longer to observe the shape and feel of each terrarium container. Spherical, cuboidal, prismatic... Holding up the bouquet every so often to compare how the flowers would look in each.

In the end, he had gone wild with his purchases, electing to buy a selection of shapes, along with other supplies—just to keep himself amused. Jade had paid with a platinum card embossed with Octavinelle’s logo. Mostro Lounge Master Cash Card, it read. Azul’s property; do not steal! Sign the loaning form if you must borrow.

It was all for the terrariums, for business as usual.

I should have realized sooner. Stupid, stupid, Raven scolded herself.

She grunted, struggling to carry the bagful of terrarium supplies that Jade had saddled her with, while he carried one of his own without any trouble. The eel cast her a mocking glance over his shoulder.

“Are you in need of a break, Miss Raven?”

Bite me, she wanted to snap back—but a bark of pain shot up her arms, silencing her defiance. “... M-Maybe.”

He sighed in an exaggerated fashion. “Very well. I see a café up ahead. We can rest there for a few moments, though it may require the purchase of a food item if we wish for a table.”

“Sounds peachy.”

Together, they swept through the café doors. The duo was immediately greeted by the smell of sugar and the hum of the other patrons, many of them couples.

Raven stiffened at the sight, turning a deep shade of red. Suddenly, she was very, very aware of how she—and Jade—looked.

“I think I changed my mi—“ Raven was cut off when he grasped her hand and held fast. She jolted back, her skin turning clammy. “Eeep! Wh-What are you...”

“Table for two,” Jade requested of an employee. “We do not intend to stay for a large meal, so just an ice-cream parfait will do.”

“Certainly, sir. Right this way.” The server quickly seated them, and with a bow, departed to retrieve their order.

“... You can let go of my hand now,” Raven hissed, attempting to free herself. To no avail, initially. She tugged again, and finally broke free, aggressively rubbing at her hand to ward off the residual eel cooties.

Jade chuckled, tucking his strand of black hair behind his ear. His earring glimmered in the afternoon sunlight pouring in through wide windows. “Play along. You are aware that today is Valentine’s Day, yes?”

“Yes, but I do not understand what that has to do with... physical contact, especially seeing as how we are not engaged in that kind of a relationship.”

“It is simple.” He laced his fingers together, resting his chin on them. With the most serene of smiles, Jade purred, “We should take advantage of the couple discounts being offered at eateries such as this. An excellent way to save on spending, especially after that particularly large purchase made on the Mostro Lounge’s coin.”

“You’re a shrewd one.”

“Why, thank you.”

Raven’s hands curled in her lap. Her lips pursed, she found her gaze trained on the white lace of the tablecloth, rather than on her dining companion.

Time and time again, she has been tricked today, told white lies. Teased and deceived. It was simply how he was—and though it did irk her in some ways, it also never made a moment dull.

Hot and cold. Push and pull. Bitter and sweet. That was Jade Leech.

“Your parfait is here!!” The server from before popped up in her periphery, startling the raven from her thoughts. They set it down and stepped back. “Here you are—enjoy your date!”

“Thank you. We certainly will,” Jade reacted before Raven could and dismissed the server with a wave. “... Well, let’s dig in.”

“You didn’t correct them.”

“We won’t get the discount if they don’t believe this farce,” he replied calmly, nudging the parfait and a spoon toward her. “Now then, less talking and more eating. You need your strength if you plan on helping me haul all the supplies back to campus.”

She let out a huff, but dug her spoon into a frozen mound. The parfait was massive, composed of several scoops of pink, blue, and green ice-cream, flanked by chocolate wafer bars. With a smattering of sprinkles, a crown of whipped cream, and a maraschino cherry on top, the dessert looked absolutely picture perfect.

Raven steadily brought a spoonful of pink goop into her mouth, allowing a sweet bubblegum flavor to spread across her tongue. Her eyes cut to Jade, who had not bothered to sample any for himself. He smiled back, gaze half-lidded as if recalling a fond memory.

“Have some, too. I feel weird eating it alone—and you must be hungry too. I know how big your appetite is.” Raven pushed the parfait glass toward him.

“If you insist.”

The head of his spoon sunk into a green scoop with shards of chocolate chip weaved throughout. It pulled away cleanly with a large mound, which was soon consumed. Then another bite, and a third, a fourth... Before Raven knew it, a good third of the parfait was missing.

Jade patted his mouth with a napkin, eyeing her expectantly.

“Are you still hungry?” Raven asked, eyebrows raising. She retrieved a scoop of blue this time—vaguely flavored like a medley of fruits.

“Perhaps... though I do not plan on taking more of the parfait for myself. Were I to, there would be none left for you.”

The fruit seemed to sour in her mouth. It was true that she was hungry, yes—but at the same time, she did not wish for Jade to be left dissatisfied.

She frowned, setting her spoon down and reaching into her bag. Seconds later, she produced a heart-shaped package and shoved it at him.

“Here, chocolates. They’re yours now, since I have no other use for them,” Raven mumbled insistently. “You can eat them now, or save them for later. Just hurry up and take them before I change my mind.”

“Oya, it is rather bold to profess your undying love to me in such a public space.” Jade teased, chuckling lightly into his hand.

“B-Be quiet...!! We... We can’t get that couple’s discount if one of us passes out from hunger.”

“Fufufu. I doubt that either of us would.” His mismatched eyes twinkled with mirth. “... Thank you for the sweets, Miss Raven. I will be certain to savor every last bite.”

The town became even busier in the late afternoon, filing with the sound of street performers and spectators. A monkey in a vest and a small hat barreled by Raven’s feet as she and Jade exited the café, nearly causing her to double over. A chorus of children’s laughter chased after the monkey—and she, the raven, stumbled on her recovery.

“Perhaps now would be a good time to reconsider my offer,” Jade suggested, a hand on the small of her back to support her. That same hand trailed around and tickled the back of hers. “It would be a shame if we lost one another in this crowd.”

Raven regarded him with a pointed look, but slipped her hand into his without further resistance. “... Only because I have to.”

“Of course, of course.”

Together, they braved the bustling streets.

A new world unfolded before Raven’s very eyes. Costumed performers of all kinds paraded about, garnering attention from passerbys. Some tossed confetti and candies, others brandished instruments. Brass, strings, percussion—all their notes floated up into the festive atmosphere.

There went a dancer, leaping like a lithe deer, limbs outstretched and the flowy fabric of their uniform like a curtain of smoke. And here was an artist perched on a stool, sketching the outline of a woman posed on a wooden crate. A young man jingled a tambourine, trying to catch coins in his cap.

A number of food carts patrolled the roads, calling out their wares. Crepes, sandwiches, sodas... Families, friends, and couples lining benches, exchanging bites.

Love was truly in the air and oozing out of every pore of the community.

Raven couldn’t keep her head still. She turned this way and that, trying to soak up every last sight and sound. Her golden eyes sparkled with wonder.

Jade, of course, took note. “Excited, are you?”

“It’s very different than Night Raven College,” she replied shyly. “Almost like a magic kingdom.”

“Magic kingdom? You can be rather melodramatic at times.”

“Yeah? So can you and Azul and Floyd, with all your fake tears...” Her wandering eyes caught something bright red as she spoke. “Oh...!! Look.”

Raven tugged on Jade’s hand, urging him to a halt. Her gaze was transfixed on a lamp post with a multitude of red strings. At the other ends of those ribbons were heart-shaped balloons, as red as blood.

His eyebrows pinched together in mocking sympathy. “You truly are fascinated by the simplest things. Is it true what they say? That ravens are attracted to shiny objects?”

Her mouth flew open to protest, but she was interrupted by a woman by the balloon-bearing lamp post “You there!! Sir with the earring and ma’am with the blue ribbon! Care for some balloons?”

“Er... What are they for?” Raven asked.

“For love, of course,” the woman laughed. “Today’s all about appreciating one another, right? This is my way of spreading love.”

She separated three balloons from her bundle and offered them with a flourish. Raven eagerly accepted them, staring up in wonder at their floating bodies.

“Oh, and one more thing!!” The woman produced a red ribbon from her jacket pocket and nodded at the duo. “Your pinkie fingers, please!”

Raven held out her hand as directed, letting the woman secure the ribbon in a neat little knot. The balloon bearer extended the length of the ribbon, glancing to Jade. Raven, too, looked at him expectantly. Jade expelled a quiet sigh and allowed the red ribbon to be tied to his pinkie.

“There you go!” the woman declared triumphantly. “You’re all set now! Enjoy the rest of your Valentine’s Day, folks!”

“Thank you!” Raven shouted over her shoulder—even as Jade started to lead her away. The woman waved and waved until she was out of sight.

“... It has been a while since I have seen you this enthusiastic,” Jade remarked with a glance to the balloons. “I do suppose it is a departure from the monotony of daily life, but to think that such little things bring this amount of joy...”

“It reminds me of a story a little birdie once told me,” Raven chirped with a small giggle. “The story of the Red Thread of Fate.”

“Oh?” Jade raised an eyebrow. “Do tell.”

“The Red Thread of Fate is said to connect ‘destined people’. It can tangle, twist, or stretch, but it can never break. From the moment you are born, you have an unseen thread flowing from your pinkie finger, tying your fate to that of the person on the other end,” Raven recited, her tone turning solemn—her storytelling voice.

“Someday,” she said, “you will cross paths with the one that shares your thread, and your lives will be forever changed by the encounter. It could be a meaningful battle between rivals, the loss of a loved one, the promise of marriage... but the course of their stories will never again be the same.”

“How sentimental. And what, pray tell, does this red thread of ours mean, Miss Raven?” Jade questioned, lifting his end of the ribbon—the crimson shining in the sunlight.

“How would I know? I’m not a god,” she huffed. “It’s just fun to imagine the possibilities.”

“It is, indeed. Even so, surely there must be one favored conclusion to the story of the Red Thread of Fate in that pretty little head of yours.” He brought a hand to his mouth, yanking Raven toward him.

She glanced up with a glare. “I’d have to have a bird brain to tell you that.”

“Is that not the duty of a storyteller? To stand on stage and tell the tale until the curtain closes. Your adoring audience awaits.”

“You’re being booted from the metaphorical theater before you get to hear or see the ending.”

“I would like to see you try.”

Jade slowed to a stop, Raven following suit. They were back in the town square, by the lamp post where they had met up. Ending where it had all begun.

He pulled out his phone and consulted the time. Jade unlocked his device, quickly wrote up a message, and tucked it away again. “I can take it from here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Besides,” Jade cast a pitiful look at Raven’s trembling arms, “I doubt you would be able to haul those supplies the remainder of the way, and certainly not in an efficient manner.”

“... Then what was the point of stating in the contract that you needed a helping hand?”

“I am afraid that even I am not entirely privy as to Azul’s intentions,” he chuckled, gently prying a bag from her hands. “I will be certain to let Azul know that Mac-san’s end of the contract has been fulfilled.”

“Eh...? But—“

“You have our thanks for lending the Mostro Lounge your time. You are free to go now, Miss Raven. I’ve already summoned Floyd in your stead to assist me.”

“Th-The ribbon, you fool! I can’t leave if I’m still bound to you!”

“Oh? You don’t say.” His singsong held no concern whatsoever, only amusement.

“S-Stop playing dumb! You know very well what you are doing!!”

“You said it yourself, Miss Raven. Our lives have been forever changed since our encounter. There is no going back now.”

“Stop manipulating the narrative to suit your needs.”

“I haven’t the faintest clue what you mean. Jade smiled, feigning innocence. “You’ve resigned yourself to spending the rest of the day with me—at least until Floyd arrives to relieve you of your burden. Ah, but given his moodiness, who knows when that will be.”

“Just because your surname is Leech doesn’t mean you need to suck the life out of me like one,” Raven snapped. She reached for the red ribbon, intending to undo it—

—only to be met with a bouquet a second time. Flowers the color of the sunset, smelling like the drip of sunshine and a cut of meadow.

“For you—no strings attached this time.”

“Those are for the terrarium centerpieces.”

“I can easily replace them,” Jade insisted, “and I must repay you for your kind chocolate gift. Consider this... ‘favors for favors’, so that neither one of us is left indebted to the other.”

“... Alright. I’ll take them, but only because they might be useful for brewing some new inks.”

“I’m glad to see that you are being agreeable.” Jade slipped the flowers to her. “Take good care of them.”

Raven leaned against a lamp post, cradling the large bouquet in one arm. Her heart fluttered, and her limbs felt as light as air. Warm and floaty, like the balloons in her hand.

Favors for favors—but it still counted as a gift from Jade, and that very thought sent her mind spiraling. She took a shaky breath, and focused on the confetti and laughter in the distance, the song and dance of the street performers.

Waiting and waiting for Floyd.

“Miss Raven.”

“What now? Haven’t you bullied me enough for today? Are you still not satisfied, you sadist?”

She dared to lift her eyes to meet Jade’s—and her heart stood still, for he looked back. His sharp eyes soft and shrouded by long lashes, his lips pulled into a tender smile.

“Contract or no, I always enjoy my time with you—I enjoyed today,” Jade murmured. “I hope that we are able to do this again sometime.”

“... Shut up. J-Just shut up already, i-it’s embarrassing listening to you speak...!!” She buried her head in the flowers, concealing her pink face. Still feeling floaty, like a balloon, high on happiness.

“Fufufu. Happy Valentine’s Day, Miss Raven.”

#twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #Jade Leech #Raven Crowley #Jade Leech thirst #something no one asked for

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kakashiswilloffire · 3 years

Text

Orange Sherbet

ao3 link

tw: suicide attempt, overdose, painkillers, mentions of self harm

words: 3.5k

He was a drain on Gai.

His students didn’t need him—they’d surpass him soon enough.

There were still villagers who called him Friend-Killer Kakashi.

He still saw faces every time he laid down to sleep.

He felt Rin’s blood splash onto his chest every time he used the Chidori.

He couldn’t help Itachi.

He couldn’t help anyone.

Sometimes he understood what must’ve gone through his father’s head.

Sometimes, the corner store doesn’t have orange sherbet.

Kakashi is suicidal and we hope Gai can help.

If there was orange sherbet at the convenience store on the way home, he’d stay alive. They always had pints of ice creams and other frozen treats—it was something he had promised to treat himself to when he felt this way. They had made him write down all these promises during his last few mental health sessions with various Yamanakas, listing three people he could talk to when he felt lonely, three distractions he could use to keep himself sane for a few minutes longer, three reasons to stay alive. When he felt like he couldn’t stand to live another day, he had to summon Pakkun, read Icha Icha, and eat something special and different. Pakkun was still recovering from their last rough battle together. He had read each volume of Icha Icha so many times they risked falling apart upon his next touch. So orange sherbet it was.

He’d never cared much for sweets, of course. But there was something nostalgic about orange sherbet, it wasn’t quite as punch-in-the-face sugary as ice cream, but still gave a slight buzz and coated his tongue. In the back of his mind, he remembered his father—or was it Minato?—buying a pint for each of them and snagging two disposable spoons so they could enjoy them as they walked back from the training grounds. Or was it three pints with Rin and Obito after difficult missions? Something Gai or Tenzou insisted on buying for his birthday one year? Everything blurred in his mind, unable to clearly break each memory apart to see it again.

He pushed open the door, hearing the dull chime of bells as it swung forward to let him into the packed corner shop. He made his way to the freezer without taking in any of the other colors, sights, or smells around him. He remembered his goal. One pint of orange sherbet. Buy one, eat it, and try life again tomorrow.

The freezer door was coated in a light fog, but he was in no hurry to see through it. It was just him and the shopkeep cashing out an older civilian woman. He skimmed his eyes across the rows, looking for the familiar orange carton.

Where was it?

He tried again, looking more carefully at each row, all the way across, then moving down to the next systematically. His heart rate jumped roughly 15 more beats per minute.

They always have it.

He opened the door, searching furiously with his eyes now that there was no frost in his way. He knelt to the ground, checking the bottom rows thoroughly.

It has to be here.

He glanced at the shopkeep, bagging the woman’s groceries as she talked animatedly about something he didn’t care enough to make out. He slid his headband up a couple of inches, barely exposing the crimson eye hidden beneath. With as much chakra as he dared use given his current state, he searched the frozen rack again.

Every flavor of ice cream he could think of, and a least a dozen more he would never consider. And toward the bottom, there was lime, lemon, and raspberry,

No orange sherbet.

He wasn’t sure how long he remained squatted down with the freezer door open, focused on the empty slot where it should be. The shopkeep, now with no other customers, cleared his throat loudly and gestured for Kakashi to shut the door. He blinked twice, then rose, hearing the door seal as he returned to his feet.

“Anything I can help you with?”

Kakashi blinked, again. There was all this noise roaring in his head, and he felt flushed. After a beat too long, he understood what had been asked and shook his head.

“No, ah… Thank you.”

He nodded and quickly ducked out of the store.

That was it. He had to write down three reasons. Reason one was currently out of commission because of him. Reason two had been violently abused so that he had something to do with his hands when he was so full of fire and anxiety that if he wasn’t holding something he’d— well, whatever came easiest or first. Digging his nails into his arms, forming tiny red divots. Scratching until the skin was raw and angry. Slamming fists into his thighs. Step one was always untying his kunai pouch and letting it fall. He’d learned that early on.

Reason number three to stay alive, and the agreement he’d made with himself today, was the convenience of dropping by the store for a small treat. Without that, he wasn’t sure how to proceed.

Walking back to his apartment, he thought about the previous weeks. Those promises had all begun the same way, but ended in a different direction. The format was simple: if blank, then I won’t kill myself today. He used to use a similar format: I can’t kill myself until blank. The problem with that was dreaming far enough ahead to find a goal worth the pain, effort, and time, and also, what to do when the goal was met. You can’t kill yourself until you make chunin. You can’t kill yourself until you complete an A rank mission. You can’t kill yourself until you make jonin. You can’t kill yourself until… what? Until I come back from a mission with no casualties? Until I can become close to someone without them dying in front of me? It spiraled too quickly to come back from.

The simpler way to go about it was short-term goals. Can’t kill yourself till after dinner. Then you’ve gotta brush your teeth. Then read a chapter of a book, or two. Then you’re tired, and you can sleep until the alarm wakes you far earlier than the sun would, and you live until you feel like you can’t again. But even that had its downfalls—if you can’t be bothered to brush your teeth tonight, you’ve gotta find something to keep going.

It had been Gai who suggested rephrasing the prompt to its latest version. On a day I challenge you, Rival, you can’t end the passion of youth! The challenges had been almost daily for a couple of months after that, until Gai had left for an extended mission and Kakashi had been thoroughly encouraged to stay a similar amount of time in the Yamanaka’s care. He’d begrudgingly admitted later that both of those developments had helped, and it had been a few years since his last bout with depression like this.

But it had been like this for a few months now, and the clouds fuzzing over his mind didn’t seem to be letting up. So he revisited some old advice. If it doesn’t rain on the way home, he’d stay alive. The sky remained cloudless. If Naruto pulled something stupid during training, he’d stay alive. It only took fifteen minutes before Sakura started yelling at him. If there was orange sherbet in the corner store—But there wasn’t.

Somehow, he made it inside his apartment, not quite recalling the rest of the walk through the dull ache behind his eyes. He slipped his unzipped vest off his shoulders, not noticing it hit the floor. Routine dictated that next was the kunai pouch, then the bandages, then—

He was sitting on the floor and wasn’t sure how he got there. Sitting was a generous term, he supposed, as his legs were fully outstretched and he was propped on one forearm with his head against the wall. His eyes slowly screwed tight as the dull ache sharpened briefly, then the static between his ears picked up in volume. He shook his head, trying to clear it, and gradually got back to his feet, stumbling into the living room.

He slumped across the couch, staring at the ceiling. He remembered the routine, drilling itself into his head. His vest was off, he needed to remove the kunai pouch, then the bandages, then the shoes, and put all of that away before removing the rest of his clothing to take a shower. After that was dinner, then two hours of free time to fill with whatever he was capable of, then bed. Lately the free time had been compromised of staring at the pile of clean laundry on the chair opposite him that had needed to be put away since Wednesday. He knew the routine. He decided to get a jump start on free time anyway.

He began counting all of the socks he could see sticking out of the collection of clothes. Organization and listing had always helped situate his mind and get him back on track. After ten or so minutes, he was finally able to unstrap the kunai pouch, tossing it across the room, taking care to not pay attention where it landed. There had been a week where Kakashi didn’t even carry the bag because Gai had taken it and every sharp object he could find in the apartment under the pretense of helping him hone his taijutsu by not relying on weapons. He had been content to let Gai keep the explanation at that. That might be something to revisit soon.

No. Gai had already done more than enough for him.

Kakashi found himself standing in his small bathroom. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he’d been in the living room, but he was now free of his bandages and shoes. He shrugged, reaching behind his head to untie his headband. Somehow, it had gotten knotted worse than usual and a section of his hair was caught in it. He yanked viciously at it, breathing in through gritted teeth at the sting then feeling himself relax ever so slightly. Forgoing undoing the knot, he slid it along the trapped segment of hair until the headband came free. That made it on to the counter. That never saw the floor, unlike every other part of his wardrobe had

.Next to the headband on the counter was a scattered collection of varying sizes of orange plastic bottles with thick white caps. The clinical labels all had his name, and the names of various antidepressants and antianxiety medications, as well as several painkillers and muscle relaxants and some antibiotic from the mission a couple years back where everyone returned miserably ill. Most of the bottles were empty, and he had held on to them meaning to get them refilled. He always had good intentions, but there was so many things to do in a day, and he ran out of energy usually three or four items into his list.

The one thing he could always count of having around, though, was some kind of pain relief.

Missions were hard, somehow harder now than ever with him as a jonin leader. He still had teammates, but they relied fully on him to take the brunt of every attack and to protect them at all costs. He couldn’t blame them, of course. They were children. He wanted nothing more than for them to be children and not suffer the same losses he had.

Still, he was sure to return from every mission above a D rank with at least a few nasty bruises. And any time Gai could rope him into a training session, he knew he’d come home needing ice packs and the heating pad and whatever else he could get to be able to train with his team the next morning.

And that was how he found himself glaring into the mirror, the bottle of white tablets shaking in his fist.

He was certainly in pain, that couldn’t be argued.

But how many to take?

No orange sherbet.

He shook his head vigorously again, walking back into the living room and falling onto the couch. He focused on a mark on the ceiling, breathing faster than he understood why while his vision started swimming.

There wasn’t orange sherbet.

He was a drain on Gai.

His students didn’t need him—they’d surpass him soon enough.

There were still villagers who called him Friend-Killer Kakashi,

He still saw faces every time he laid down to sleep.

He felt Rin’s blood splash onto his chest every time he used the Chidori,

Sometimes he understood what must’ve gone through his father’s head.

He couldn’t help Itachi

He couldn’t help anyone,

Sometimes, the corner store doesn’t have orange sherbet.

Sometimes, the little orange bottle that rattles doesn’t rattle any more.

He was in the kitchen, water dripping off his face and hands as he panted over the sink. How did he get here? He swallowed hard, his mouth somehow still dry, and turned the water off. The prescription bottle was laying on the floor. Then so was he. Against the cold tile, he was able to relax just a bit again.

It’d be over soon. He wouldn’t hurt anyone else ever again.

His thoughts became harder to string along, but that didn’t bother him. The thoughts he could connect didn’t sting as much as they usually did. It might be nice to put away that laundry, actually.

Every muscle was heavy. There was so much weight on him, and he couldn’t move. How much time had passed? He thought his heart was starting to race, and wondered if he was having second thoughts. But he couldn’t feel the ground beneath him any longer. He struggled for hours, days, to move his index finger to trace the hem of his shirt over and over. Could he feel it? Was he moving?

He rolled to his side, slowly bringing his knees up to prepare to stand. But his body didn’t move. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He couldn’t? His… It was his body. But? Was he? Could move? …Him?

Several centuries had passed before he heard the key in the door, and the door had already been sealed shut before he understood what the noise was.

“Ka-KASHI! In celebration of your return home from your latest mission, I made sure to grab a treat. Do you remember when you left the ANBU and we went to the corner store together? What a celebration to end all celebrations that day was! I was sure to grab the finest, most youthful of every snack—orange sherbet!”

***

Gai held the thin plastic bag up triumphantly, two pints rolling against each other. Normally he would have also grabbed spoons, but assuming Kakashi would be home, he was sure he could find two spoons somewhere in the apartment, even if he had to wash every dish himself.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed to him that Kakashi was on a downswing lately, but he’d always been the counter to balance his own exuberance, and he had complete confidence that they would move past this, too.

He nudged the flak vest that was crumpled on the ground at his feet. Kakashi must’ve been itching to take it off to have removed it the second he got inside. But why wouldn’t he have hung it up, or placed it at least near the hamper? This wasn’t part of the routine. Had he been badly injured on this last mission?

That must be it. He would have come home, shed his clothing, and jumped in the shower to clean his wounds and begin loosening his muscles. Much to Gai’s dismay, Kakashi seemed to be magnetically repelled from hospitals, preferring to treat his wounds himself as long as he could walk. So he must have some sort of torso injury, maybe bruised ribs or a minor stab wound, and he was surely tending to it quietly deeper inside the apartment.

The laundry he had helped Kakashi wash last week was still in the soft, cushioned chair in the dim living room. That wasn’t too surprising, he knew that was the first thing Kakashi would let fall by the wayside if something wasn’t going to get done. As long as the clothes were clean, he could wear them, even if they hadn’t been neatly hung, and that was something Gai could live with.

What he did not appreciate the sight of, however, was the kunai pouch halfway under the end table near the entry way. With such an inconvenient location, Kakashi surely must have made an effort to lose the bag and the knives it contained. He felt his heart swell with pride that Kakashi had the forethought to disregard the bag, but his heart deflated just as quickly with the knowledge that Kakashi felt it necessary to do so.

As he continued into the apartment, he called out his rival’s name once or twice. He must be home. The barrier seals hadn’t been placed over the front door, which means he either was here, or kidnapped from here, and the building still existed, so he must not have been kidnapped. So where was he?

Conscious of the rapidly melting sherbet in his hand, he turned down the hallway to the kitchen to leave the bad in the freezer while he helped Kakashi, presumably in the bedroom, bandage his wounds.

As he rounded the corner, flipping on the lights as he went, he heard a small groan. Nothing at eye level. Cautiously stepping forward, his foot sent a small orange plastic bottle skittering across the tiles.

Gai was barely aware of the sherbet hitting the ground.

Kakashi looked terrible. It was not particularly strange to find him lying on the ground, but there was absolutely no color in his face. Both of his eyes were lazily opened, and neither focused on Gai’s as he kneeled down to check his vitals. His breathing was shallow and his heart rate garbage.

“What did you DO?”

Gai yanked Kakashi up into a sitting position, grabbing for the prescription bottle. Depending on what it said, maybe this wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Maybe he’d been poisoned. Maybe even food poisoning. But the signs of an opiate overdose matched the label printed in cruelly clinical terms and he crushed the plastic in his fist. Kakashi needed to get to a hospital, and he needed to get there immediately.

He gathered his rival in his arms, not noticing his weight nearly as much as he noticed how limp he was, making no effort to not be ragdolled around. As he stood up, he took stock again of Kakashi’s breathing—shallower than a moment ago. After a second’s hesitation, he reached for the edge of his mask and yanked it down under his chin, hoping the direct access of air to his lips and nose might help. His lips had some color in them still, and he looked away, trying to respect the privacy of the man who he would kill as soon as he was saved.

***

Some time in the next twenty-four hours, Kakashi’s eyes opened. When they did, blinded by the light and surrounded by medical whites, he was shocked to find himself actually in heaven. What brought him back to earth was Gai, unceremoniously slapping his shoulder.

“What, my dear, dear rival, were you thinking?” he said, thankfully not as loudly as he could have.

Kakashi was at a loss. There were dozens, hundreds of thoughts racing through his head, but they all seemed password-protected and he didn’t have administrative access. He could barely open his mouth, covered by a thin towel, let alone form an explanation that would have made any sense to Gai.

Instead, he surprised himself by feeling the towel suddenly go cold and cling to his skin.

Gai panicked for a moment at the sight of Kakashi’s tears, then took a deep breath and slid forward to the edge of his chair. He brushed a warm, calloused thumb across his rival’s face.

“I know you’re in pain. I do. I don’t understand it, but I believe that you’re in pain and we’re going to help you get better.” He took a shuddering breath, noting that it was thicker with emotion than he had anticipated. “I don’t know what the future is going to hold for us, but the passion of our youth, and especially of your youth, Kakashi, is not close to over. So, whatever it takes, whatever the Yamanakas advise and whatever you need, we’ll make it happen. I love you, and you’re not going anywhere.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened, and Gai became aware that he had opened his Sharingan at some point to record this moment in his memory. He swallowed, feeling his throat begin to ache.

“I love you.”

Kakashi’s tears began falling in a steady stream, and Gai remained exactly where he was, brushing soft, silver hair off of his rival’s forehead. After a moment, he leaned further forward and pressed his forehead against the space he had just cleared.

In a small, scratchy voice he had not heard from the man laying before him ever in the past, he heard a whisper that nearly broke his heart.

“I love you too.”

#first fic ive written in years #hope its any good #pls let me know what you think #kakagai #kakashi hakate #kakashi x gai #kakashi angst

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