Losing my mind over the idea of Hamato Raphael being an art kid
When his harsh personality starts really establishing itself at say five? and he's just SUCH a precious screaming handful? Splinter spends a year trying to corral this child before he adds brushes and ink to the list of what to buy on the surface, in an attempt to teach Raph some nice calm calligraphy, right
Raph paints on the cabinets with it.
And from then on he's absolutely unstoppable
He learns by copying drawings out of picture books and the few textbooks that Splinter gets ahold of, by copying out of comics, by trying to draw from real life. It's pretty ugly drawing in most ways because he's six but he's so excited about it pshshsg
And this doesn't actually make him that much sweeter/softer as a person, but it does serve as an expression of his thoughts when he has no earthly idea how to say them
So when Raph has sudden pitches in wanting to hurt his brothers, and yeah he's eight so it's probably normal but also he looks almost *upset,* Splinter stops trying to get Raph to verbalize and starts asking if it would be alright for them to do some drawing together
So that's part of how they communicate (not to say that Splinter doesn't also communicate with discipline and firm tone, but I think in the times when he can see there's something deeper, he takes the time to ask about it through art)
Fast forward to nine years old; they're all starting training now, and Raph is suddenly being taught an activity that feels absolutely right to him
He soars
And by this I mean that Raphael and Leonardo are very clearly neck in neck for the entire 2012 series; Leo only outstrips Raph when 1) his brother steps down and gives his respect willingly, 2) when Leo is ahead on a spiritual sense, and/or 3) on an emotional sense.
But whenever Leo is spiritually and emotionally lacking and Raph is too mad to back down, they're fighting and Raph is winning
And this
This derails things
Because there wasn't a hierarchy, you know
They're different ages, so that creates some competition, but to be very real, Leo, Raph, and Donnie all look the same age; it's Mikey who looks a different age. They're very close in years
But now there's a competition
Now Raph is good at something useful and he has to prove that he belongs there
He's the strong one
So drawing gets dropped for say six years in pursuit of being the best martial artist in the house
And then he's fifteen and Splinter assigns the leader and it's not him
Raph put everything into being the best at sparring, with his weapons, in every physical level
And yet in the days when Splinter tried to communicate with him, art didn't get through anymore, and neither did words, and so he was not considered a safe choice
He's livid
And then they go up to the surface.
It's ridiculous. It's incredible.
And Raph, to his own horror, goes home that night and paints until dawn.
He triples the number of signs that say DONT COME INTO MY ROOM, BRATS on his door and he adds locks because now
Now it's out of control and the same kid that painted on the cabinets has torn posters off the walls and he's feverishly painting a mural of the city above him on those same walls, a mural of the night sky and the rooftops and the birds and pizza and cars and the funny shape of dumpsters
Raphael made himself out to be the muscle, the rage, the powerhouse, and now he can't stop drawing and getting paint everywhere
What the heck is wrong with him?
This is what's wrong; he's inspired by something other than competition for the first time in six years
He's making something excellent for himself alone
He's happy with it
And so for a long time he hides his sketchbooks, in his dirty laundry, under his pillow
And no one comes into his room
He visits an art shop one night on the surface because he made sure it's on his patrol area
He takes markers and pastels and gouache and a bunch of pencils and he leaves as much crumpled money as he has in an attempt to make it okay
It's so okay. He loves this so much.
Sometimes he can't hide the marker stains on his hands and he has to walk around with extra bandages on his hands and say he had a sparring accident. When they realize this actually gives him more traction and softens the pain of his punches, everyone in the family starts mimicking this fashion.
And then Spike turns to Slash, knows the horrible angry bitter parts of Raph's life and Raph never thought a real person was watching all this time
He's horrified
Because when he is angry at Leo he draws Leo, and he draws him in a rage
There is proof of how much he despises his own brother, filling pages of books in his room
And someone saw those pages and was moved to hurt
Raph's art nearly killed someone he loves
He throws away his brushes, pours the paint and markers into the sewer system
Swears off of doing art even though he was finally finding his style and getting much better at realism and becoming a real artist
He leans on Casey a lot, watches Casey do graffiti and tries to be content with standing near that and maybe picking the colors if his friend lets him.
The Kraang strike New York.
April's dad is mutated, Casey's family is stuck back there, Shredder throws Leo's body through a window, Shredder throws Splinter's body into the sewers
And they're running away?? And for the first time in his life he has no idea what to do?? He has to be the leader now, sort of, but he doesn't know how it's done, or he knows how it's done but he can't do it, and isn't that worse?
Raph finds a torn notebook and a few pens in a corner of April's farmhouse and without even thinking, he starts to draw.
He draws thoughtfully, painstakingly, tearing out pages when he's not satisfied. He draws Splinter in excruciating detail, the little scars peeking through his father's fur, the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes.
There's no game plan, no revenge plot. Raph is alone, and he can't fight, so he makes good art.
It's when Raph sits down with his new sketchbook next to Leo's tub and tries for the very first time to draw Leo from real life that he loses it and ends up leaning with his forehead on the edge of the tub, crying himself senseless.
He's not okay
He's in so much pain
And he draws to take that away.
He's sick of cartoonish art; caricatures got his family attacked by Spike
Raphael dives into realism
He gets out in the woods and draws the trees, funny leaves, flowers, pinecones, ducks, clouds. He wanders around the house drawing it from all angles and changing bits of it.
One day, April knocks on the door of the room he claimed as his own and when he opens it, she gives him a watercolor set.
"I just had a feeling," she says with a smile when he asks what it's for. "No other reason."
He's practicing his katas one afternoon when he notices Mikey fell asleep under a tree. Slowly, Raph gets out his supplies and paints Mikey right there, kneeling on the grass.
He tiptoes back inside.
Later, Raph is chopping wood when Mikey saunters over.
"Can I look at the picture you drew of me?" he asks calmly.
"What?" Raph sputters. "Drew? Drew what?"
"I wasn't really asleep," Mikey explains. "I thought you could use a real model, you know?"
And that's how Raphael learns that his youngest brother knew he was doing art for all of these years.
I don't really know where this goes, but all I can see is Raph slowly letting people see him drawing and slowly letting people look at his drawings and slowly making more really excellent stuff and in times of peace he gets on an online platform and shares what he has and the internet goes ballistic and suddenly he's a really well-known online artist
When Splinter dies, Raph builds a triptych of three rice paper screens and paints across them
The first screen shows Splinter's past life as a human
The middle one shows him being the father to the turtles
And the last one shows him walking through a beautiful garden with Tang Shen; his face is obscured from view.
Ages down the line, when Shredder is long dead and mutations have slowly become a more accepted thing because plenty of people were hit with mutagen over the years and now people see it as more of an accident/disability than a mark of a monster, Raph finally goes to the New York Art Institute
and becomes the first mutant to graduate cum laude.
_
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