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#grad school

didn’t realize i have been gone for a WHOLE month but here i am again, looking for motivation to work :):) it’s been a bit a minute but i managed to take a few walks, completed one of my proposals (one more to go!) and escaped to the mountains for a while (just got back this week). i am also starting a fellowship this month! it’s a short one where i can mostly WFH which translates into me writing three research pieces in total. it’s supported by UNESCO and i am examining how persian new year (or nouroz) is celebrated in the indian subcontinent!! i wouldn’t have been so stressed if i wasn’t working on my applications simultaneously but i am and all the deadlines are close and i have no motivation :) so i am reorganizing my room a bit this weekend and setting up a new desk space etc etc to trick myself into working. also using tumblr under the pretext of finding inspiration - maybe aesthetic photos of people studying will compel me to do my readings.

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I need something to look forward to everyday so i decide to do @myhoneststudyblr ‘s challenge!

Day 1/100 - Introduce yourself and tell us what you study!

My name is Rhea and I am newly 23 years old. I’m currently getting an M.S. in Green and Environmental Chemistry. For my bachelors, I double majored in Chemistry and Environmental Earth Sciences with a minor in Environmental Studies! 

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i loved my research supervisor a lot because she was incredible and encouraging and so smart, but one of my favourite stories about her actually was with a friend of mine who also was researching under her. his dissertation was on white supremacists in america and the way they’re radicalised, and he was having trouble thinking through access to groups in order for him to interview people.

and my supervisor, who was very irish, said “well, just create a fake online account and do it that way.” and my very american classmate was like “uh, absolutely not” and she was like “why not? we can write your methodology so it’s fine ethically” and he was like “no, i don’t care about that but i’m pretty sure i’d be put on a watch list for the fbi for the REST OF MY LIFE,” to which she went “ohhhhhh. yeah i forgot that they do that in the united states. here we just let them into office” and laughed very hard. i adored her.

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29 & 30/100 Days of Productivity

This week needs to be over. It feels like it’s lasting forever, and I haven’t even had to do that much. My presentation in Milton went well even though the professor continues to annoyingly interrupt all of us while we’re in the middle of presenting. It took an hour and fifteen minutes to get through the first presentation because the professor kept interrupting the poor girl. That’s almost half of the class period! And there were five more to go!

Tomorrow is my big meeting with the head of the graduate program. I hope I make this man cry.


  • Read to page 120 in Paying the Land


  • Finish Paradise Lost Book 2 presentation ✔


  • Grade 24 of Peer Review Sheets ✔
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i really just feel so out of control and overwhelmed right now. for 6 months the world was turned off and now it’s like we are all expected to put the same amount back on our plate that was there before march. grad school, working two jobs, being in a relationship, family, are all things that i need to re-learn how to juggle. and my PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) is currently telling me that i can’t handle any of it. PMDD is so insidious. one week you feel capable, the next week you are scattered, sensitive, flailing. and i have never been clinically diagnosed with it, but i feel like i must have a slight case. i feel so deeply for people who have more serious cases than i do. i just need to push through these really challenging days until i get my period and re-stabilize. it’s just so damn hard. 

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