#grad student struggle

[astriiformes]

Working on my degree proposal and for all I am hard on myself for my (slightly higher than average, but still fairly average) GPA, mostly because I worry about it hurting my chances at grad school, I feel like it still says something that I actually do have straight As in my history of science classes in particular. If nothing else, I'm more than a little proud of myself for that

#slides that third of my transcript to various grad admissions departments and hopes they ignore my chemistry/gen ed grades #like realistically. they might #i am not applying to become a biochemist or anything like that. i am going to be applying to history of science programs #and i am a really great history of science student actually #and also have struggled in some of my classes because of the whole 'partner falling seriously chronically ill' thing #which feels like a reasonable thing to mention as an extenuating circumstance!! #i don't know. i don't want to get to hopeful but like. maybe i /am/ good enough for this

[welcometogrouchland]

they shouldn't let me stay up past midnight bc then I start identifying every single problem I've ever had. No solutions found. Net zero personal progress and 0.5 hours of sleep are achieved

#ramblings of a lunatic #ignore me I'm having a moment #actually wait that's one of the problems we (the brain council) identified. is my need to not have problems where ppl can see #oh very problematic of my brain. not a fan #look i just got out on christmas break for college the term is catching up to me #i didn't make any real friends and it's not that I'm surprised..but yeah I'm surprised. i forgot about My Whole Deal somehow #like girl do the math. 7 yrs to make A FRIEND. SINGULAR. came pre packaged w/ 2 friends but took you 4 more years to make another one- #-independtly. straight up did not understand friendship and human relationships until you were at least 16 #did we honestly think we were gonna knock it out of the park in terms of socialising this first term???? did we???? #wishful thinking ig #oughh. college...bad. or not bad but. strange. and lonely. and yeah kinda bad #existentially horrifying in ways i didn't even realise were possible. i get why so many tma fans were college students/grads now #college just irl cosmic horror #anyway. i think i should try and sleep now lest the brain demons get the better of me #but also I've gotten like. 4 hours of sleep total over the last 6 days- not for lack of trying mind you #so like. I'm anticipating a struggle.

[museum-spaces]

seeking advice

Hello my dear academics - and other various nerds.

I am looking for advice for my current PhD application; I am finalizing my Statement of Purpose and I have space in it to talk about my autism diagnosis and Ianto being a service dog.

However, the dilemma, would it be used against my application or not/ should I wait to hear if I get in before telling them I need accommodations like for a job or should I use it in the essay. This application does not have any sort of 'my struggle' essay to write, just a writing sample - my MA thesis - and the SOP.

I already said in it that I wrote and implemented the Egypt Centre's first autistic accessibility program.... which is literally how I found out I'm autistic. So it does fit in, and I have the space.

But it is a disorder that is discriminated against.

going to tag a few folk but I want as many opinions as you have for me so please comment/re-blog whatever. I have also decided that 1 like = 1 vote to disclose so feel free to just like if you don't feel chatty.

@13faeinapenguinsuit @saintartemis @queenanne1532 @chaotic-archaeologist @autie-j @micewithknives @bundibird @rudjedet @sisterofiris

as usual; the above is a non-exhaustive list of the people on here whose opinion I admire and trust. there are always people I have left off because remembering all y'all's handles is impossible.

#not museums #academic problems #academia #academics #grad school #graduate #phd stuff #phd struggles #phd student #egyptology #autism #actually autistic #service dog

[xoshepard]

oh actually, sending an ask bc this seemed like a fun question... was looking into the nuances between は and が particles, the tofugu article i read gave me a general understanding of it, but that it's often just vibes + varies from speaker to speaker.. so i was just curious about ur personal take on it 🤔

man, imma be real... i think i stopped paying attention to them after i stopped being graded on them LMAO

first, i have some intuitive understanding of them from speaking the language for so long, and second, they both can be "disappearing particles" meaning speakers tend to omit them in colloquial speech

HOWEVER since i'm trying to be a teacher someday, i will eventually have to learn the difference concretely sdkjfhsdkj

i skimmed the tofugu article and it does a good job of explaining from what i saw! i think it's good to study up on those nuances as a beginner so that when you speak it for a long time you'll just intuitively know which one to use, but i also think you shouldn't dwell too much. i use them wrong all the time, what's important is recognizing that i used it wrong and then figuring out if my listener misunderstood me because of it, and that usually doesn't happen bc は and が have a similar meaning/purpose anyway

#my students rly struggled with them too ;_; i hope i'll actually have an explanation once i finish grad school sdkfjhdsjk #we just got a letter #jurassicparkiii

[ephemeral-winter]

ugh idk guys how do you know if a job offer is worth the six weeks of mid level emotional and physical inconvenience of moving when the boss is apparently a dick but the work is interesting and the pay decent and you’d get to live in the same city as your aging grandparents

#I have cried every day for the last five days about this I think #so actually it’s maybe high level emotional inconvenience #moving is traumatic at the best of times but the last time I did it was three months ago and I had broken my foot the week before #so it was maybe a lot more traumatic than I was prepared to deal with #but probably I won’t break my foot this time! and yet #idk guys. really struggling here #no other offers on the horizon and it’s about to be the holidays and i just want to have grownup amounts of money and not grad student mone #rare pic of me in the wild

[tchaikovskaya]

I could/should elaborate when I’m not falling asleep as I am rn but like. I feel like for the people who you “mourn” who have died young and/or suddenly who you knew only in passing, or only casually interacted with, or were once close to but in the years between then and their death you barely spoke, etc etc etc, you arent actually mourning them or their presence in ur life (and now palpable absence) (supposedly) but just what it means to be a human on earth who has to grapple with inevitable loss and the immense weight of what a Person is and their footprint on everyone they interact with that is fleeting even tho there are several billions of us on the floating rock but none of those billions of lifetimes are ever overlapping 100%…. sigh :/

#context a student who graduated last semester (undergrad) died in a car crash like 500 miles away #and one of my fellow grad students/TAs and a few of his former profs are so upset about it and like……… #u barely knew this kid I mean of course I feel terrible that someone with his life ahead of him was snuffed out in the blink of an eye #but like…….. if u had never found out about this. or if this hadn’t happened and he went on to live a boring long life #he would mean next to nothing to u !!! u would be none the wiser! u would probz not even recognize his name in 10 years! why are u crying!!! #idk I would be less ANNOYED and hashtag BOTHERED by it if the same people didnt say such nasty derogatory shit about their undergrads #like every other time I talk to u about mundane news ur complaining about how ur students are all lazy untalented idiots #but now THIS ONE who was never meaningful to u before THIS GUY is SPECIAL to u…? u mourn him? #2 weeks ago if I showed u his student ID photo u would struggle to remember his name but NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING #NOW THAT HES GONE AND IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU #tldr if ur still reading lmao I feel like this stuff is always about yourself and almost never about the dead person #which is valid in its own way I mean I’ve literally cried after passing mangled cars and ambulances with people who defs aren’t gonna surviv #but it’s never been about their life’s overlap with mine and retconning some kind of memorable or emotional significance to it #idk why I’m so emotional about this in like 3 separate directions but it’s just so fucking frustrating !!!!!!! 🥲🤡

[dansfakeveto]

oh them doing the hoh right as i’m about to sit at an empty zoom meeting for two hours that’s vile

#bb25 #life of a math grad student in a financially struggling department #and i mean if i dont finish my masters this year i may not get the chance too cause they might cut the entire math department #anyway i get to be exploited as a… TUTOR🤢…

[dooareyastudy]

07.07.2022 | here is to a summer of talking less BS and working more on my thesis :)

#still not over that #i talk too much and should shut up #for everyone's good #phd #phd student #phd studyblr #phd struggles #study #studying #student #studyblr #gradblr #grad student #grad school #student blog #student life

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears #speaking against something that hurts #laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing #the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words. #i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it #but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do #but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at #inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that? #i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn #and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great #but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they #think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i #struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those #connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just #it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent #or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them #i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad #student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever #but its fine. ya kno #just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy #and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough #ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have #0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box #i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess #abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times #i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha #unrelated

[slowburningechoes]

currently writing a fic called “remediation” and my grad school friends are too traumatized by the word to even hear about the plot lol

#grad school #grad student #psyd #doctoral student #clinical psychology #fic writing #fanfiction writer #female writers #phd #phd struggles #psyd struggles #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

I'm writing a paper too. It's a scholarship essay due today so I'm ✨slightly✨ stressed.

You can do it, anon! I hope you get that money.

Mine is for an academic conference. I'm confident I'll be writing it up to the last minute when I present it this weekend.

#phd life #phd stuff #student life #grad student struggles #you would think i'd have learned not to procrastinate by now

[scholarlyhobbit]

All of Spring 2022 papers are due in about 21 hours.

I have one 15 page thing left to cobble together and flesh out from the 7 pages of chaos I have right now.

The 20 page thing is mostly done, except for making the prof's particular lens of analysis extremely clear in every section, and doing the works cited page.

The 25 page thing is done except the godawful works cited page and a last pass of is this on topic, I think so.

I'm basically living on mineral water, granola bars, cheese sticks, and some weird pickles I found and had delivered from Target.

Go to graduate school, they said. Become a doctor, they said. You're so smart so it'll be easy for you, they said. You'll research interesting things and teach interesting classes and talk to interesting people, they said.

#my life #all day every day #gifs #grad school #grad school life #phd student #phd struggles #phd stuff #doctoral student #graduate student #mamas don't let your babies grow up to be grad students

[definitely-not-a-real-phd-diary]

Woke up

Saw someone is going to present a paper on my PhD topic almost exactly working with an organisation that ignored my emails for months

Had a panic attack

Considered dropping out/emigrating to Australia

Bought myself a silly little overpriced drink for my mental health

Called a different organisation who said they're happy to help me with my research

Aaaaaaaaaa

Why are phd's so emotionally draining???

#phd life #grad student #phd struggles #phd #academia #grad school

[yourbestamericangirlmp3]

strike is suspended. grad students are pissed because we got thrown under the bus a bit

#ngl the raises we are probably getting are still enough to make my life genuinely better #and if it was just me i would have probably been just fine #but i know lots of grad students are really upset amd struggling #also they didn't get the university to agree to other demands aside from raises #so idk if that will happen at all now that we're suspending the strike since that was where our power came from #poast.txt

[socialworkerbee]

1.26.23

I have to take today off work because I didn't take care of myself. I overstressed myself over things I can't control at work. I am so full of doubt and fear that I couldn't handle it. I got way too invested in so many of my cases, especially with getting rent paid.

I have to remember that I can only do what I can do.

So, I am now home and engaging in my hobbies to help re-center myself. I can't help if I spend so much time worrying about how unfair or insane the situation is.

I still have homework to do and I think not knowing how to lead the interns also had something to do with it. I want to help them, but I don't even know how to navigate this situation.

But now I can think a little clearer. Tomorrow I will set a game plan for next week.

Also, I have an A in once class and am barely pulling a C in the other. I was hoping to keep my 4.0 GPA for once. But all I can do is my best. Besides, homework can feel like something I can control if I do it right.

I'm also trying to get my eating under control because I've started binging. Yay.

On top of all of this, my boss has already kick started a project (despite us struggling with a separate project) that I am very excited about. I suggested asking my grandmother to come in and help put together a proposal to address the problem, but it devolved into me now looking into proposal writing courses. Exciting but terrifying.

Oh well, now not only am I a certified MANDT instructor, I might be able to help get the organization money. AND I'm a case manager. AND I can officially supervise interns next fall. While doing my own internship.

I want a raise.

#msw student #msw notes #studystudystudy #study tips #study blog #chaotic studyblr #social work studyblr #college studyblr #stdyblr #studyblr #studyblr community #social work #case managers #college struggles #graduate student #grad school #grunge academia #dark academia #study diary

[chicago-geniza]

the other night at the Function everyone was talking about how nice it was to see people’s faces and what a relief it was not to wear masks & roommate said they actually preferred it when their face was covered & i concurred & added in our neighborhood it conferred bonus anonymity because the block is crawling with cops & we both nodded like “yes, it is Much Better not to be Perceived in the Public Sphere”; later we were both asked about our shirts & roommate went on at length about japanese noise music & i went on, of course, about the dybbuk, & it was like. right. yes. this is the only person i’ve been able to live with for a long period over my adult life because we’re both enormously ~*~neurodivergent lol

#professors keep being like you are/were two of our most promising students why do you struggle to function as people & i keep being like #the selfsame traits that make us such good grad students are what make us so bad at functioning within the institution of grad school #roommate is a phenomenal writer and synthesizes philosophy w/ linguistics in extremely cool ways #they can hold so many ideas in their head & think deeply about so many things from so many angles #i'm a really really good researcher. i'm thorough & detail-oriented & i synthesize intellectual & everyday history w/ literary analysis #if you saw the way we live & took the temperature of our mental health you'd be like. je sui telephone a la police lol