I’ve been reading this cool book, The Professor Is In by Dr. Karen Kelsky, about understanding the faculty job search process in academia. She’s a little more focused on humanities than life science, but covers both fairly well, and I took away a few really good tips from her!
I’ve reached the point where I just want to introduce myself to everyone here at grad school with the disclaimer: “Look, I’m not smart like you, I know I’m not supposed to be here, I have no idea how I got accepted but I’m trying my best so could you please be patient with me.”
🍓Today I read that human beings (and organisms as a whole) tend towards fulfillment and growth naturally, like how a plant will always grow towards the light. How lovely🍓
10/100 days of productivity
Term starts in two days and I finally got the syllabus for the class I TA. Spent a happy evening organising everything on notion. I did more RA and grant work as well, then did many stupid things in dungeons and dragons. A surprisingly full Saturday.
First week of grad school in the books!
(open for better quality)
the extent that i relate to bartleby……….
This edition of Röda rummet which I bought over a year ago is so pretty but I still haven’t read it because guess what. Reading 19th century literature in your target language is exhausting as hell
Late night studying and flashcards in the gym (yes, I got called a nerd for this and yes, I totally deserved it).
This is the last day I study Quantum Mechanics, from tomorrow until Tuesday I will focus on Optimization, since I have the exam on Wednesday. Then I will get back to Quantum.
The uni counselor sent me the flyer for a mentoring program meant for female students, and I think I will apply. I don’t know what the next months will look like. I still need to find a job/an internship.
I really love living in the middle of a park: whenever I feel like getting some fresh air I just have to walk 2’ to find myself surrounded by trees and water.
Calling the science side of Tumblr!
I’m a doctoral student looking for more fellow academic/scientific people to follow - please like or reblog if you’re an academic stdyblr, gradblr or just a blogger with a scientific interest and I’ll have a look! Let’s create a lil follow train for the (in)famous science side of Tumblr :)
I’ve moved! Moving internationally during COVID was far from fun but I’m so glad now that I’m here. My house is great and my housemates are so nice, I couldn’t be happier with my choice. Now I just have to endure my 2-week quarantine (I want to go for a walk so badly…), and then classes begin! I’ve been in touch with several others from my cohort and they all seem so nice and I’m so excited to get back to academics.
Quarantine is lonely but worse is not being able to go out to the park. I love nature and my favorite hobby is just sitting under a tree and looking for snails, mushrooms, cool bugs, etc. I’m lucky to have a garden, though, where I’ve found some snail shells, slugs, and cool fungi already!
I had my monthly breakdown as I thought about research and my career yesterday and I had such a profound realization pull me out of it. I realized that the thing that always makes me second guess myself and lose faith in my projects is that I’m setting my expectations of myself way too fucking high. I always think that I can’t write a paper unless it’s perfect and that my inability to do perfect research means I’m unqualified to do any research. The thing is though that that’s literally not how research works. My tenured professors still have projects fail and even those that go well still go through years of edits, revisions, and additions! I can’t even begin the process of getting my research to where I want it if I don’t even produce a fucking paper. I have to start somewhere and give myself a break.
This seems so obvious to me now but it also took a lot of introspection to get here so I figured I’d share just in case anyone else needs a reminder.
wow its been long lol i remeber when i first made this blog arpund three to four years ago to give me motivation to get me through college application season for my undergraduate years. now, i have graduated from my school (ut austin hook em’) and preparing to go into graduate school for physician assistant studies and later on health law*!
as i bring this blog back to life, i want to add some new features–>
possibly bring back college counseler?? with a twist though! before it was mainly using what my own counsler advised me to do for my applications but i also want to add stuff that i learned during school from social, to educationnal, to job related oppertunities, etc.
a graduate inspo corner where i can document my progress with preparing to apply for pa school
job spotlights or research updates–> right now i am still employed as a research assistant at my alma marter and if anyone is interestead in research regarding women and children’s health in minnority populations feel free to reach out!
9.18.20 - 20/100 days of productivity
i tracked down that list of species i want to scan. started going through online collections databases to see which ones are my best bets.
also confirmed details for audio recording equipment. hopefully this time tomorrow i will have my basic equipment and another practice session completed.
We were short two people on staff today. It got pretty busy and pretty crazy. I’m exhausted.
k so apparently my life is back to crashing and burning status again. i love emotional whiplash, yay….
i’ve been almost too emotionally drained to even post about this but after I was so elated about having a plan to finally move back to my apartment and out of my dysfunctional family home yesterday, i found out today that not only are the number of covid19 cases apparently increasing exponentially again where my apartment is, my job also has decided to require us to cease teleworking and be in the (shared! by 8 ppl!) office the entire work day, wearing masks. this makes zero sense to me when I’m doing a phd…. esp bc in most programs phd students are allowed to decide where they are working for a given day (home, library, office, coffee shop, etc.) even if they are given the privilege of having access to a (shared) office. the only time they are required to be In Office afaik is for office hours for students if they hold any teaching or TA position.
So… I’m pretty baffled and upset by this. Which I think is understandable???? It’s one thing for me to make a conscious decision to endanger my life by wanting to have an in-person meeting or go pick up a book at the library or something. But to take away my agency here and say I am required to be in the shared office? To do work I could just as easily do at home…??? Plus, the lunch area/shared kitchen is tiny, there’s no freaking way we could all eat and keep appropriate distancing, and it goes without saying you can’t wear a mask while eating, soooo??? I mean it’s literally shared by the entire floor, tons of ppl across multiple departments use it despite it being quite small. so it’s not even like we could just coordinate solo eating times or a schedule or whatever.
Not to mention the fact that having an immune disorder/physical disability puts me in the extra special at risk category or whatever, so. like. doubly gr8. Not like I wanna have to tell everyone this, though, to try and get the privilege(””””) to work from home!! I hate sharing that in the first place when I feel Pressured to do so…
I’m just super baffled by this decision, and moreover by the fact that I feel like I’m the only one who IS baffled by this? Like, how can it be that no one else finds this bizarre and is made super uncomfortable by this???
So now I feel like I’m totally reassessing the situation… the other frustrating thing is, the university may decide to go back to teleworking as a rule once again if there’s another big enough (however the hell they will define that) surge in cases. I kind of just don’t know what to think. But the idea of being forced to risk my life to do academic work I could be doing at home sounds absolutely inane to me. I’m happy to do in-person meetings with a mask and distancing, but to routinely expose myself for hours upon hours at a time on a daily basis? For like… no good reason? I don’t get it. What are they thinking??
Outfit details from yesterday. I need you guys to just appreciate this £9 thrifted coat with me because 🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂 and ever since I bought idk how to behave myself it’s sooo warm💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾.
Anyway, I’m happy to say I finished up on all the note taking and reviewing of my Figma lessons yesterday so I’m happy I can move on to doing actual stuff. But my stupid ass challenged myself to be proficient in using Figma by 21/9/20 and I only just finished taking notes 🙂🙃🙂🙃
(09.18.2020) || Feeling incredibly grateful that my family is okay, and as always with hurricanes feeling guilty that other families aren’t even though I can’t do anything. Keep the gulf coast in your thoughts ✨ also grateful to have something to focus on even if class feels inconsequential.
Class starts in half an hour so it’s time to do some stuff:
kiss cats (very important)
et dirty dishes aside
HELLO FROM MY BUSIEST DAY
Today I was lucky enough that my reading group got cancelled so I got to eat an early dinner before my class so here’s a picture of my salad drowning in greek yogurt dressing