#grades aren't like the end-all be-all of understanding concepts or anything but i think that gives a good reflection of what i mean

[emblazons]

i'm struggling to see how the script has anything in our favour... pls give me a hand you're my fav st blog and i always reread your posts when i have doubts but nothing is working rn lol

Okay—first off, and probably most importantly: scripts are not law. You cannot and should not take the script more seriously than anything you see on screen, given that its more a starting document that has to be edited and brought to life, not the show in and of itself.

Taking what is in a script and saying "oh no, we lost because THE SCRIPT said" would be like your professor throwing out your final paper, pulling out one of your earlier rough drafts, and saying "THIS is what I need to take most seriously and grade for concepts and final ideation...rather than their final product," with all your incomplete notions, underdeveloped concepts, and even things you realize later didn't work for making your final (actual) points included...which is what people are doing when they take a script more seriously than what they see on screen.

Just like it would make no goddamn sense to do that with an essay, so there's no reason to do it with a script....ESPECIALLY when we know that The Duffers are 1) more collaborative than a lot of creators (there are some directors where the script is law...Matt & Ross just aren't those directors), 2) there are quite literal obvious changes that happened between script and screen between The Piggyback script and The Piggyback itself, and 3) WRITING is not the medium this story is being told in—its television and film.

Scripts should only ever been looked at for the sake of understanding the starting concepts and ideas that M&R were trying to convey + learning their style/tone of writing, given that what was on that page eventually evolved through collaboration & editing to better convey a more cohesive, thematically comprehensive and even complex story on the screen (and the several mediums other than writing that make up a show that aren't writing) itself. Period full stop.

NOW. (cut because image heavy/script breakdown)

Maybe i'm just inoculated to any true doubt at this point, but: I fail to see what happened in this script that we didn't already know? Or...what would inspire so much doubt?

If its about the monologue, we knew already that Mike said he loved her, and if you read the script back in the version we got...El was literally pale, covered in blood, and losing consciousness as Mike was speaking...and holding onto his words like a lifeline because that's what you do when you're being choked to death. The cues in the moments around what Mike says make that clear as day:

Trying to imagine this scene holds any romantic connotations (in the form in the script, because, again, the script is not what ended up on screen) with these cues is like saying someone drowning in a pool wouldn't cling to the words of person trying to save them from the water, or "find strength" to keep trying to live...even if that person was a stranger.

There's nothing inherently romantic about holding onto someone like a lifeline, which is what this script delineates El doing...with a complete absence of positive "romantic" connotations in her or Mike's (or even ANYONE ELSE'S) responses to what's going on in the moment. Everybody literally thinks she's gonna die—and Mike is just saying whatever motivational thing he thinks is gonna get her to use her powers to stop herself from dying...after Will encourages him to use his leadership ability to help her out.

That...is what happened, both in the script and on screen (though the screen version is arguably WAY worse for romantic mlvn...which is a "good" thing if you choose phrase it like that)—

—and given that we have not one, but two different "romantic (or sexual) tension" moments written in this script as well, its really clear that the intention of the monologue was different than the others.

Even the scene where Argyle calls mike "Romeo" is more romantic-coded than that little monologue...and instead of lovebirds who get their moment like Lucas and Max, we immediately cut to Will being sad about it, which means we weren't allowed to just be happy about their little "flirty" moment anyway.

....like? This is just an ask so I'm not gonna go hard in on it (or comb over 127 pages again) but??? If the script gave you any doubt over what we've spent an entire year breaking down the show itself, the most important thing you can do is put it back in its correct context.

We're fine. Nothing changed. Everything is the same as it was yesterday morning, the canon of the show is still the canon, and the release of this was a rough ideation draft shared for the Emmys and not the final product we all drew our conclusions from.

I just. I guess I hope that helps you lmao. Also, I probably won't be doing any further breakdowns of this script though I did already pull some things I enjoyed before.

Thanks for the ask!

#i'll be so real and say I don't understand doubt coming off this script at all but. Like I hope this helps even on iota lmao #asks

[cj33333]

The BIG thing I got out of intro psych

If there's anything that demonstrates how humans getting to this point was a complete fluke in living organisms, it's that our bodies do not have a proper mechanism for handling chronic stress (yet?).

Short-term stress was all that the original hunter-gatherer humans had to deal with, which is why our bodies are evolved with specific mechanisms to handle short-term stressful events - like fighting another animal - in ways that benefit us. Short-term stress actively boosts survival by heightening our awareness by releasing adrenaline and cortisol. Short-term stress boosts our available energy and our immune systems.

Cortisol is important because high levels of cortisol are dangerous, and can cause the death of neurons in our brains. Normally, a structure in our brains detects high levels of cortisol and basically tells the glands that release it to back off. However, when cortisol is consistently being released because of stress that lasts LONGER than a short-term event, that regulation system becomes overwhelmed and gets weakened.

Chronic stress very easily leads to major depression because cortisol keeps us awake, making it harder to sleep even if we are tired. Sleep is what repairs the body and prepares it for the next day. When sleep changes, the WHOLE BODY is affected, which also affects mood.

It's easy to prove that chronic stress is something humans were never supposed to face at this point in evolution because humans aren't the only ones who can be stressed for prolonged periods of time. Other animals can experience chronic stress too (typically because of human interference like being placed in captivity).

Animals including humans can literally die with help from chronic stress, especially because it weakens our immune systems and blood flow. If this is something humans were expected to face, we would have evolved with bodies that could combat it, because a body with a higher tolerance to chronic stress would be more likely to survive.

Why didn't the hunter-gatherers need to deal with chronic stress? Because they never had to think about several stressful future events at once, all throughout the day. That's why chronic stress ends up being the only kind of stress that's actually harmful - we are not built right now to deal with living in large-scale structured societies where our entire lives are played out on the basis of having complex, stressful relationships with other humans, and having the 'purpose' in our lives and the expectations for how we live essentially be built by other humans with and without our own control.

Stress is probably why we feel like our lives need to have a narrative, because life is basically you vs. your stressors, and it's been that way all throughout history. From "How do I get my family through the winter?" to "How do I keep my grades up?" Even non-physical stressors like: "What comes after death?" In fact, one of the most effective conscious choices we do to compensate for our lack of a biological chronic-stress-fighter is creating a belief system that makes it feel like we understand the world completely and that stressors are in our control. We have a concept called religion designated for that kind of thinking, but it is more broad than supernatural beliefs. Creating a narrative for ourselves based on us fighting our own stressors has to be a thing that most people do because there has to be a way we can cope with chronic stress to make up for our bodies' lack of a coping mechanism.

So now humans are stuck trying to fit themselves into this image of living in a society where chronic stress is not a problem, but a mandatory **challenge** that we'll grow from and yada yada yada (our bodies tell us that it is very much a problem btw).

...Even though stress was never meant to have negative impacts. I don't know if humans will ever biologically adjust to that. I don't know how our bodies could handle chronic stress.

#psychology #intro psych #big rant #essay #stress #mental health #chronic stress

[idletransgenderfication]

about "better"

a close friend of mine just got released from a mental ward the other day, and it got me thinking about the phrase "it gets better," and what it means to me. first off, let me apologize for how long this is. it may have mistakes, or end up repetitive at times, but it's my best attempt at conveying a sentiment that's kept me alive, so it would mean a lot to me it if you would try to read it anyway, especially if you or someone you know is struggling to maintain hope with their own mental illness right now.

i guess there's something i've wanted to say lately, that's been bugging me just a bit. when i say things like "it gets better," people often brush them off as meaningless words. but i don't mean it as a hollow platitude—and to infer it as such, feels to me, like you aren't really understanding what i'm trying to say.

when i say "it gets better" to you, i am not talking as a neurotypical who thinks happiness is a choice and that mental illness is a lack of discipline or willpower. i am not speaking as someone with no frame of reference as to what you're going through. i am speaking from experience, as someone who once easily brushed off the concept of "better" as well.

i am speaking as someone with years of history battling severe and long lasting episodes of depression. i am speaking as someone who was diagnosed with symptoms before i even left grade school, someone, who in only 17 years of life, managed to become an infamous name among local behavioral health clinics as one of the most treatment resistant cases they had ever known. it got to the point where every professional i was referred to recognized my name in advance—that's how much of a head-scratcher i was considered.

i've been on every med in the book—seriously, name any med you're taking for mental health reasons, and there's a 97% chance they tried me on it at some point. whenever my friends mention a prescription they're taking, i can recognize the name right off the bat. i've been on practically all of them, generally at the highest doses they're legally allowed to prescribe. hardly any of them worked, and the ones that did rarely lasted long. last winter, my condition had deteriorated so much that they were very seriously considering trying me, then a 16 year old minor, on the already highly experimental Electroconvulsive therapy—a treatment for which virtually no data exists on how it affects still developing brains. that and lithium are just about the only things i can name that they didn't try—and if things hadn't started getting better when they did, it would only have been a matter of time.

the one reason i was never hospitalized, funnily enough, is that our insurance didn't cover it. that and the fact that through it all, i was only ever actively suicidal once, which was actually years before my most recent, most severe episode. but that's a story for other time.

so when i say "it gets better," i'm speaking as someone who's spent great lengths of time unable to comprehend what better would even be. i'm speaking as someone who knows how terribly far away and fake those words sound—and yet, i'm still saying them. they sound so fake, because when you've lost ability to remember what "okay" was, "better" seems like something that can't possibly exist for you. maybe for someone else, but surely not you. it does, though—you need to believe that, and continue to strive for it, even when you can't recall what it felt like to laugh or cry or feel anything at all but the dull ache of emptiness.

so please don't give up on happiness. some of us have to fight tooth and nail for it, and that fight might never really end—but it still exists, and it is obtainable. even if it's only caught in brief snatches, between long lapses of darkness—it exists, and you can find it. no one can live a life that's happy all the time—and that's not what "better" is. better is just being alive, laughing and crying, feeling the full range of emotions a human is meant to. it's the beautiful periods of a long and harrowing life that give it meaning—and it is worthwhile. so don't stop clawing your way ahead, towards a "better" you still can't see or comprehend.

when i say "it gets better," i'm asking that you don't give up just yet. i'm asking you as someone who knows how impossibly hard it feels, who can't blame anyone for choosing to give in, that you continue to hold out just a sliver of hope, and trust in something you can't see just yet. the present may be unbearable, and the past may be miserable, but the future is still unknowable. when i say "it gets better," i'm asking you to pull yourself through one more day, believing tomorrow might be just a bit more bearable—because one day, it will be. those aren't just hollow words—it's a promise to you, and to myself, for the day when those words feel fake again.

so when i say "it gets better," i mean it. i really do, more than you can understand without hearing why. they aren't just empty words. i'll keep believing in them, through the times when i can't remember what "better" means. that's my promise to myself, and it's the reason i'm still here today to tell you it—so please don't call that shallow. don't give up on yourself just yet, even when the world seems to have given up on you. it will get better yet.

#mental health #mental illness #depression #recovery #bee babbles

[plantednotes]

I feel like w/ school & everything, I always always put my best foot forward but it doesn't seem like enough. I study so hard, for tests, quizzes, just class, in general, but my grades don't reflect that. I work hard but my grades aren't where I want them to be (they're not terrible at all, just not where I want them to be!) Everyone around me does so well & they work less than I do and I'm just frustrated. Any tips on how to deal ?? (Thx for even reading this)

aww that rlly sucks :// i’m going to preface this by saying, i’m one of those ppl who never studies and reads/plays on their phone during class but still has top grades. i’ve never gone through this, and i think it’s important that i say this; my tips might not work so i can only offer encouragement and kind words.

i understand your frustration though! if i were you, i would cope by working even harder though that’s just me and i’m too competitive tbh but just because you have lower grades than people around you doesn’t mean you’re less than them! actually, the fact that you work so hard shows that you have a lot more determination and better work ethic than your classmates which is really good in the long run. try to figure out why your grades aren’t where you want them. do you have difficulty with the concepts covered in class? maybe you could talk to your teachers to see if they could try to help with your understanding, or find a friend who does well and ask them to clarify what the lesson covered. also, try to surround yourself with positive people! sometimes being friends with people who have much higher grades than you can motivate you to try harder, but often times, it only ends up making us feel frustrated with ourselves. is it hard for you to concentrate and focus in test taking conditions or just in general? you can also try talking to your teachers about this, or you can practice at home.

im in a bit of a rush right now (you can still send in asks though! i’ll get to them when i can) so i apologize for any typos or unfinished thoughts or anything confusing here ahaha but i hope this helped a bit nonetheless!! good luck to you

honesty hour ✨

#honesty hour #ren rambles

[realtalk-princeton]

I'm really struggling in COS 126 right now because I feel like I'm teaching myself. The book and video lectures are confusing, the precepts aren't helpful at all, and you can't really get any individual attention during office hours. Only the Lab TA's are remotely helpful. What do I do to avoid failing? Also do you recommend working with a partner on the later projects. I don't know anyone who is also in COS 126.

Response from Roonil Wazlib: 

If someone else has personal experience on how to get out of a struggle in 126, they should definitely add on, but firstly I would say go to your preceptor and express this genuine concern to them. If your preceptor is a grad student that has less experience (which it sounds like because the precepts don’t seem to be helpful to you), email Dan Leyzberg and ask to meet in person with him. I say this because the COS faculty for the most part genuinely are very helpful people who care about their students, and likely would have the best advice having had students in the past struggle. Freshman year, my friend was PDF-ing 126 and was in the “did not pass” range, and Donna Gabai (her preceptor, and an amazing faculty member who used to teach the novice precepts) would meet with her individually and work through the assignments with her every week. 

To be honest, COS 126 (as well as COS 226) really is all about teaching yourself through the video lectures - they’re supposed to give you the foundation, and precept will build off that foundation you’re assumed to already have. The precepts might not be helpful right now because you don’t have that foundation from the video lectures, so you just have no idea what the preceptor is talking about (this was me in 226). What do you find confusing about video lectures? I know everyone recommends to watch them in 2x speed because Sedgewick talks really slowly, but if you’re struggling, watch them at normal speed - you might have to repeat certain segments over and over again until you finally understand what’s happening (the beauty of video lectures), and that’s normal. Also make sure you’re actively engaged when watching the video lecture - follow all the examples and write down any questions you have. Then go to office hours/a meeting with your preceptor (if you end up talking to them about how you’re struggling) before your precept to get those questions clarified. If you go to office hours early on in the week and not right before an assignment is due, you should be able to get individual attention in my experience. 

Lastly, regarding partners - I didn’t work with a partner for 126 or 226 bc I was friendless and the requirement of having to be in the same physical place as your partner was annoying to me, and I ended up fine. It will definitely take you longer than if you had a partner, but you will also learn so much more because you’re forced to figure things out on your own rather than having a partner potentially carry you. That being said, if you think you will really crumble continuing to work on assignments alone and think it would be good to have someone to bounce ideas off of and talk concepts with, they usually put out Piazza searches for partner assignments in COS classes. If they aren’t doing this, again talk to your preceptor because chances are there’s another lone COS student also looking for a partner.

I hope this was remotely helpful…please ask any more specific questions if you have any! Good luck anon

Response from Sushi: 

I think Roonil gave great advice (I agree with all of it), and Nick’s advice as someone who struggled will be extremely valuable, but I wanted to add from the perspective of a lab TA and from someone who has worked with a couple of friends through the entirety of 126 (friends PDF’ed and were on borderline D range). Some people who come to lab TAs have absolutely no clue what’s going on in COS 126, from not even knowing what a method is to not realizing how a for loop works. I understand that it’s hard to learn all of these things since they’re taught so quickly in succession for someone new to coding, and it’s very easy to fall behind. 

To fix this, I would recommend reaching out to preceptors for 1:1 meetings (set it up through email) if it’s too hard or the material is moving too quickly and not rely on lab TAs that much, since I don’t think that they are that helpful in understanding the fundamental concepts behind coding. I agree that the class is hard because self-teaching is key (I disliked it too), and the readings are not optional as they are in other classes: they are pretty fundamental to learning how to code specifically what they ask you to code. Can you trace the code in the book and write it yourself by memory? That really helped me in learning how to code through the intro level COS classes here.

I would recommend working with a partner if you’re struggling, but make sure you understand exactly what code is being written and that you could write it yourself if you were asked to. Is there anyone else in your precept that you sit next to that you can strike up a conversation with? That would be the first place I would look. Next would be the Piazza posts. I also hope this helped…I feel like I was just repeating Roonil. Let me know if anything’s unclear.

Response from Nick Carraway:

Also will add in the morning as a non cos god (aka sushi and roonil) and as someone that truly struggled in cos126

Hi! So I took COS 126 freshman fall and have never struggled so much in a course before. This was before the lectures were recorded, so we had to go to lecture, but Sedgwick was still the prof. I'm also pretty sure the course design and coding assignments haven't changed in the slightest.

I only survived coding assignments because of 1) lab TAs and 2) having a partner for every coding assignment where that was allowed. I found precepts and lecture and the textbook all to be pretty unhelpful just as you seem to think. I just could not seem to get my mind to work like a programmer. I never understood what the complex examples in lecture were doing...reading the textbook didn't help. The midterm came, and I legitimately got a D on it (yikes). That's when I started seriously considering PDFing.

I agree with the above comments to go in to see your preceptor one on one (especially to go over specific programming assignments and the midterm exam if you bombed it like I did). I also agree with going to see one of the head preceptors if yours isn't particularly helpful. I met with Dan Leyzberg one time, and though I found him quite a bit condescending (as did another of my not-coding-savvy friends), I left with a firmer grasp of the material we were learning.

I recommend having a partner wholeheartedly, but not a partner that is so much better at coding than you that they'll do everything. My partner was one of my best friends, and she had taken AP computer science, but after about 2 weeks into the course she also had no idea what was going on. Working on assignments alone was COMPLETELY demoralizing for me. I would get stuck so frequently that I was just wasting time, and I physically couldn't be at lab TAs constantly. The partner helped me to bounce ideas and kind of learn a bit better. Made it much more bearable.

You kind of HAVE to know someone in COS 126 at the same time as you (even if it's just tangentially). Just ask an acquaintance to partner with you!!

Why are you taking COS 126? Are you BSE, or is it just out of interest? If it's the latter, I'd consider PDFing. LEGITIMATELY the best decision I have made for my happiness and mental health at Princeton. But if you need to take it for a grade, it's possible to come back after a rough first half. I actually studied my ass off for the final exam and worked really hard on the final assignment (tbt blob/atomic) to sort of prove to myself that I wasn't just giving up and could do tough stuff at Princeton. I got a perfect score on most of the assignments second half of the semester and actually got like a B+ on the finals loll. I think I would've ended up with a B- in the course if I hadn't PDFed which isn't too shabby for someone that literally had no idea what he was doing in the class.

Anon you got this. Just realize that coding is certainly not for everyone, and you might just be someone that's not adept at coding. There is nothing wrong with that. College is meant to be a learning experience! Hope this gives a slightly different perspective than Roonil and Sushi's.