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29 мая был последний звонок и я официально теперь не школьник. Раньше я не ценила школу, но сейчас очень хочется вернуться в мою гимназию. Мы закончили слишком рано и не смогли нормально попрощаться со школой. Я не могу принять то что я больше там не учусь, а впереди институт.

В этот же день с одноклассниками устроили тусовку. Я только под конец года прониклась к этим людям. Ну почему нельзя было начать с ними общаться сразу, 2 года назад. Мы очень круто отметили. Вот некоторые фотографии. Надеюсь они не против)))


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Hi everyone, 

We are mourning so much during these past few months. My heart reaches out to everyone. The year 2020 was not this type of clarity I was thinking of, but it opened my eyes to see how we deal in terms of this pandemic as a society. Halfway done with the semester and I am ready for bed. I hope everyone is staying safe.

Sending healing energy to everyone, 


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I have gotten lots of emails over the past week with stuff I have to do over the next few weeks/summer. Its terrifying and I’m very anxious about it all. Between my anxiety and feeling like an imposter it’s just making me feel lowkey anxious all the time. 

None of the things are super hard, its just the fact they must get done and they are all new that makes me nervous.

Good news: I got my class schedule and have one for sure online. One is to be announced as its the clinical like learning one. The others are all on my campus (not the sister campus) and right across the street from my dorm. I hope that none of this changes as it seems like an easy first semester to work me into more adult scheduling. I hope the clinical is at my school but since the state hasn’t told us what schools will do I don’t have any faith that these will stay the exact same as they are today haha.

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Hi all!

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted, but I’m planning on getting back on the studyblr game! Here’s a little update in case anyone is curious about what I’ve done in the past year:

-I started my doctoral program! I’m working towards my EdD.

-I bought a townhouse! 🏡

I hope you’re all staying safe,


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dear graduate admissions,

I’m applying to your program because, while I believe life is ultimately meaningless, I also recognize that it is the only thing I truly have and yet it itself is fleeting. I am terrified by the thought that my dying moments will be occupied by regret of an unfulfilled existence. I believe your program gives me the best chance at fighting against my persistent existential dread, or at the least it should help me forget about the suffering that is having a physical body until I am no longer able to think anymore. It is this fear that will motivate me to be the best student I can be, because I am unsure if I would ever recover from another significant failure.

Thank you for spending some of the energy of your life reading this. I hope you accept me and then forget about the crises of my words as soon as possible so as not to point attention to your own perpetual pains.

P.S. I tried real hard on the GRE.

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05|27|2020 Took a break in between meetings and writing to go for a walk. The weather has been so beautiful lately! Made decent progress on my to-do list. I took some time to catch up with two close friends of mine whom I have not spoken to in a while. Having good work-life balance is really important for my mental health. Now it’s time to continue working again. My goal is to get as much as I can done by Friday. Typically I go food shopping on Saturdays but I want to stay home and watch the NASA / SpaceX launch! So I plan to go food shopping on Friday instead. 

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Wednesday 27th May

After taking a rather lovely 3-day weekend, I’ve been back at work today and yesterday. Yesterday was so-la-la, and today is fine, I guess. I’m struggling a bit with being super tired first thing and having difficulties getting into work- my solution to that is to work for like half an hour while drinking tea then taking a 20 minute or so nap and then getting back to work once the caffeine hits. It’s working, but kind of a strange way to get work done, especially for me. I usually find that it’s easier to get like 3 hours of work done as soon as I sit down in the morning, but not lately. 🙁

Ah well. I’ve had a pretty productive day so far-the not-horribly-rough draft of my candidacy proposal is done, 3 weeks before my oral, which is nice. I have to make some refinements on it, of course, but the vast majority of it is there. I’ve also been working on the slides for my presentation, which is definitely coming less easily than writing the proposal, unfortunately. But what I find has really helped is choosing a short section that I want to work on and just talking out loud to myself and giving a little presentation of what I want to say there to help me figure out what to put on the slides and what order to present it in. I just have to keep plugging away at this and get it done!! Persistence, grit, etc etc ✌️

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