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#graduates how did you survive uni
cheriladycl01 · 3 days
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The Bottle - Carlos Sainz x Reader
Plot: You'd always believed in soulmates, in your culture an old tradition was that a person would send out a letter in a glass bottle for their soulmate with clue's requesting the person who found it comes to find them.
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Carlos walked along the long stretch of sand with his cousin. It was summer and they were vacationing in Mallorca in the family property.
They'd gone for a morning jog keeping up with his fitness plan for over the summer break ready for the second stint of his F1 season.
"What's that?" Carlos mumbles looking down at the glass bottle buried half in and half out of the season. He reaches down to pick it up but his cousin smacks his hand away.
"It could be broken and hurt you!" he exclaims looking at Carlos in shock as to why he would be so silly.
"It's not broken look, there's a note inside I'm intrigued!" he says pulling it out the sand and popping the cork off the top that was keeping the paper dry.
He pulls the paper out looking and reading the note on it.
Dear Soulmate, If you picked this up, it's because something called you too. In my culture when we do this and someone picks it up it means their our soulmate. I now have to give you clues and if you're intrigued enough you'll come find me. My name is Y/N and I'm 21 years old. Clue 1: I'm from country known for it's monarchy! Clue 2: I have a degree in fashion design from a top university Clue 3: 2021 Clue 4. I work under Mr McQueen Clue 5. 36 Clue 6. Enbankment Yours Sincerely, Your Soulmate.
"No way!" Carlos laughs re-reading it! He stuffs it in his pocket, knowing to take it home and look more into it.
"What was it!" his cousin asks looking over.
"Nothing!" he exclaims not wanting his cousin to think he was crazy, but Carlos had a strong belief in fate. This meant that of course he would come and find you.
You had actually sent that bottle out years ago on your 21st birthday in Australia, you were now 24 and thriving in your career as a fashion designer in Alexander McQueen.
You'd forgotten about the bottle since you'd done it, for a few months after you hoped someone would have found it but it slowly become one of those things you just forgot about.
For Carlos, he returned home with the note in his jacket pocket and he set it down on his desk.
He couldn't help but giggle re-reading over the clues and note. As a famous F1 driver he found the working under McQueen funny, but that didn't lead him too much.
But his best chance would be to join Lando for the week before the British Grand Prix, as he knew that you'd be in the UK. According to clue 1.
"Lando, please take this seriously this is a real person I want to find her!" he exclaims shoving the photocopied version of the original letter as he didn't want to destroy it.
"Okay, right so you've determined she's a uni student from the UK. There's like over 150 universities here so it's going to be impossible especially if we don't know what year she graduated" Lando sighs looking down the clues.
"Well, what about Clue 3, 2021, you recon that's when she graduated?" he asks and Lando puts a finger on his chin, thinking for a moment.
"It could be, but that would mean she also would have sent it out in 2021, how did this survive for four years at sea!" Lando exclaims looking over at Carlos who has his head tilted in shock.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Well, the youngest you can graduate is 21 in the UK, so if she did it in 2021, at age 21 she would now be 24?" Lando admits.
"And it says top UK, university that's either Oxford or Cambridge. And only Cambridge have a specific one called Fashion Design" Lando explains after some research making some deductions.
"Take me there!" Carlos says suddenly.
"To Cambridge... no mate! Look there's other clues. She's got a fashion degree, is in the UK and works under Mr McQueen, she probably is a designer in London HQ of Alexander McQueen which would explain Embankment!" Lando deducts and Carlos just has a shocked look on his face the whole time.
"What is Enbankment?" he asks.
"It's an underground station, I bet that's the station she uses to get home, to Apartment 36 perhaps?" Lando asks.
"Fuck onlyfans, if F1 fails become a god damn detective!" Carlos says pulling him into big hug before letting go and pulling shoes and a coat.
"Where are you going?" Lando shouts after him.
"The McQueen HQ building!" Carlos shouts back.
"Do you even know where it is?" he asks making Carlos pause.
"No, but I'll find it!" he shouts back before running out the door.
He tries to find his way around the underground system of London before googling the HQ and where it was. He eventually got there into the reception checking to see it was 4pm, not the end of office work day so maybe he would catch you.
"Hi there, really sorry. Looking for a Y/N?" he asks and the older lady looks over at him with a frown.
"Business?" she says in a posh British accent.
"Erm..." he couldn't think of anything to say.
"She's a friend of mine from Uni, from Cambridge" he smiles and she looks over him.
"Well, you just missed her, she left for the day about 10 minutes ago!" she offers and he sighs.
"Enbankment!" he says before running out the building. He runs down to the underground and he starts to look around all the people on the platform.
You were stood there, leaning against the underground wall and reading your book.
Carlos eyes were darting around the platform, he could make deductive reasoning. He was looking for a 24 year old fashionista and when his eyes met yours, it was like something in him just knew that it was you.
You looked at him with your head cocked to the side in confusion as to why this man was looking like that as you. However, as the tube pulled into the station your gaze wavered as you made your way on.
Carlos was in awe that he wasn't moving until someone ran past him to try catch the door. He realized you were gone and must be on the train, so he did the same getting on as the doors were closing into separate compartment.
He waited and at every stop he'd poke his head out to see if you got off. At one particularly busy stop, some people get off and a bunch of people push on before he can poke his head out, he gravitates back towards the front and sees your hair in the little bow walk away and towards the exit.
He pushes through and jumps out the doors just as they are about to close. He runs up the only stairs that are there seeing you at the top swiping a rail card onto the scanner and being let out of the gates.
He runs foreward swiping his own card.
"Hello, sir... can we take a minute of your time to talk about Climate Change!" a protester stops him, with a smile on his face where he looks behind her to see you stepping out into the sun lit street.
"I'm really sorry! No! I'm late to meet someone!" he explains before pushing past and running through the gate swiping the Oyster Card he owned from when he worked with McLaren.
He runs out onto the street where you did letting his eyes adjust to the light as he looks around for you. His eyes catch the long dress you were wearing, it was colourful and red, a colour he considered his since working for Ferrari.
He saw you walking into a building block and started to run towards the traffic lights and presses the button straight away. He waits for the green man before running across apologising to anybody he bumped into. He finds the entrance seeing security there and panics.
God they'd think he was crazy if he asked them to let him in. But then again. He was Carlos Sainz!
"Hey, I was hoping i could look round the building. I'm thinking of letting a place!" he smiles his puppy smile at the two guards on the gate who turn to him with stoic expressions before noticing who it is.
"Yeah sure! That's fine! Can we get a picture with you? Me and my son are huge fans!" he exclaims making Carlos nod. After he walks into the building looking around for a map of where rooms were.
36 - thats what he was looking for.
17th floor, he got into the lift and pressed the number shooting up. He fixed his hair in the lift getting nervous to meet you, this complete stranger.
Why was he even doing this?
He exists the elevator and walks down the corridor to your apartment and stands outside. He waits for what feels like forever before he knocks on the door.
He waits and then there you are in front of him.
"Hi" he breathes out looking over your gorgeous features.
"Can I help you?" you ask looking over him. You could sort of remember his face, but from where you didn't know right now.
"Erm, I!" he starts.
"Wait your the guy i saw in the tube, did you ... follow me here?" you ask stepping out the apartment shutting the door behind you so he couldn't get in if he was a crazy person.
"Yes. But, your Y/N, you should be 24 right now. You went to Cambridge and studied Fashion design and live in a country with a famous monarchy. You work for a Mr McQueen which actually means Alexander McQueen where you use the tube to get to work each day and live at apartment 36" Carlos breathes out all in one breath, you cock your head to the side in curiosity wondering why they were such specific facts until he pulls out a sheet of paper that you never thought you'd see again.
"No!" you laugh putting a hand over your mouth.
"Where did you find this!" you ask looking up at the man in awe.
"A beach in Mallorca" he offers scratching the back of his neck trying to work out what you were thinking right now.
"I chucked this off a boat in Australia on my 21st birthday" you gasp in shock at how far it had come.
"My family has a holiday home in Mallorca and it was on the beach where I run everyday!" he smiles nodding.
"And you actually came to find me?" you laugh in shock thinking it was a silly thing your mum would always tell you was how your family did things. Its how she found your dad, how you nan found your grandad and how your aunt found your uncle.
"Well, I did find it. I was curious!" he grins, looking at you and you look around the corridor before you bite your lip.
"Did you maybe want to talk about all this craziness over dinner?" you ask looking up at him.
"I'd love that!" he smiles, holding a hand out for you.
"I cant believe you found me!" you smile, placing a kiss on his cheek making them turn a little pink.
"Mmmm I did find you! All from the Bottle."
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biteofcherry · 10 months
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Hi! ALPHA STEVEEEEE oh my actual days. i have an unhealthy attachement to GoT. If his omega was feeling insecure how would he react? I feel like he would be completely flabbergasted and considering how she is very much independent she might not tell him at first. but if he found out...
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A study
alpha!Steve Rogers x omega female reader
warnings: none; fluffy hurt/comfort; alpha has unique ways of improving your mood; but there's also understanding and communication; alpha Steve is a warning okay?
Grain of Truth Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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"I guess this one could work," you shrugged, watching yourself in the mirror with growing resentment.
Your words reached Steve with quite a delay. He was staring at you, his mind occupied with images of ripping the fabric off of your body to get his hands on the magnificence of your curves and softness.
You looked absolutely fantastic in that dress - and it wasn't even some revealing, super sexy evening gown, but rather a chic, modest piece. Perfect for attending a conference.
And when you first saw that dress on the display as you passed the shop, you seemed to love it. How could it change so quickly?
Steve's gaze dragged up your body until he met your eyes in the mirror.
It was the very first time you showed annoyance with your looks, even if occasionally you fussed about not fitting into your favorite clothes right before the heat, because your body was accumulating fat to survive days of endless fucking.
"What is it?" Steve's brows furrowed as he took a step closer and you felt the warmth of his body at your back.
His hands slipped onto your hips and he rested his chin on top of your head as he held your gaze in the reflection.
"Nothing," you shrugged again, instinctively leaning into your alpha's embrace. "It's a good dress, but it doesn't really matter, right?"
Steve sensed that clearly it did matter, so he waited patiently for you to elaborate.
"I just have one meaningless presentation, nobody will pay attention to it beside just politely listening and clapping after I'm done." You tried to play it cool, like it didn't bother you that there was going to be a different star at the conference.
"Unlike Hope," you muttered, your tone more bitter than you wanted to let on.
Hope was- not exactly a friend, but not an enemy either.
You went to the same university, shared some mutual friends and occasionally worked on the same projects before graduation. Then you pursued your career goals while Hope went on to rock the world with everything that she had.
She was stunning, always had a line of men and women trailing behind her with dreams of spending time with her. She had a brilliant mind, too. Honestly, she had it all, in your opinion.
Including the freedom of not being driven by designation and hormones, since she was a beta.
As it turned out, Hope now had not one but three degrees and steered her career toward medical science for the military purposes. You were proud of how you were actually helping people day to day, running your small research, but it suddenly felt less significant compared to Hope's straight road to saving the world.
When you stumbled into her an hour ago, your brief, quite warm conversation revealed she was going to be the mysterious grand star at the conference you were also attending.
And she too was searching for an outfit. Judging by the label on the bag she was carrying, Hope was going to have something designer. Perhaps even custom fitted.
Then it turned out Steve was familiar with one of her projects; he saw it used in action when back in the military.
They switched feedback and information about Hope's upgrades so flawlessly and passionately, and you just stood there with a smile, nodding your head in pretend-interest.
Hope had it all. Still. Just like she had in uni.
Including attention of your mate.
You knew Steve loved you, you didn't fear him leaving you to chase anyone else. But love didn't mean he was impressed, or interested in your meager career.
The only profit you'd gain from presenting your study at the conference would be Maria's proud face as she added to your clinic's website information about running research acknowledged at international conferences.
"Hope?" One of Steve's eyebrows quirked up, confusion settling on his face. "That beta we ran into?"
"Yes, that beta whose great improvements to the battlefield medicine-" you mocked Steve's voice- "you were complimenting less than an hour ago," you glared at him, barely stopping yourself from stomping on his foot.
"Sweet brat," Steve's hands tightened their grip on your hips, an almost painful reminder to watch your tone.
"I was a Captain in the Army and sometimes on missions things got really bad. I simply appreciate that Hope's projects helped to save lives of some of my men."
"I know her work is important." You grit out, crossing your arms over your chest. "Which is why I know everyone will look forward to her presentation and discussion panel with her. So I don't need to bother stressing over my showing."
Steve recited the full title of your presentation and research, showing you he was always paying attention to what was important to you.
"Hope's work may be desired by the big, important institutions," he said, "but it's your research that has the potential of aiding people nationally, in their day to day struggles."
Your heart melted at the conviction in Steve's voice. Through the bond you sensed a steady rhythm and a flush of fiery pride that your alpha felt about your work.
"And you know what else?" Steve bent down a little, resting his chin in the crook of your neck, his lips brushing your cheek.
"Hope has nothing beyond her career. Beneath the smell of perfume, there's only the scent of the lab on her. No partner, neither long term nor a fuckbuddy. No remnants of anyone familiar, like a friend or a pet."
"Maybe she chose it that way," Steve mused, rubbing soothing circles on your hips with his thumbs, "or maybe she spends the rest of her day being as fussy as you, feeling bitter that she doesn't have a mate and love like you."
You sighed softly, uncrossing your arms. You rested your hands atop Steve's forearms, caressing his warm skin.
You tilted your head slightly as your placated insecurities slowly retreated, living room to the mentioned fussy streak. That still wasn't entirely gone, strumming inside you with a need to act out.
"So you were checking her scent?" It was a deliberate poke, delivered with a glare.
Steve huffed and closed his eyes for a second. Then he straightened and in one swift move twirled you around.
He pushed you back against the mirror, gripping the back of your neck with one of his large hands.
"If you're sporting for a spanking until you sob all your frustration and insecurities out, I will happily arrange it." His voice remained soft, but dropped to that low octave a breath away from a growl.
"Or maybe we can make you more excited on that stage?" You gulped nervously as Steve's eyes darkened.
His lips trailed along your jaw, teeth just barely grazing your skin.
"You'll be giving your lecture wearing nothing but that pretty dress, while I sit in the first row with your panties in my pocket. Knowing that as soon as you're done with your presentation, I'm going to be fucking you full of my cum..."
Steve nipped your chin in reprimand when your eyes closed, the sting making you open them instantly.
"So that when you do the rounds at the banquet later that beta you're jealous off knows that you've won something she'll never have. A true mate."
Your clamped your hands on Steve's shoulders, gripping the fabric of his too tight t-shirt.
"You can't solve everything with sex, you know," you said breathlessly, clenching your thighs as you felt Steve's free hand slide up the pencil skirt of the dress you were trying on.
"How about we conduct a longitudinal study on that?" Steve chuckled and slapped your thigh.
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anadiasmount · 3 months
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are you willing to write for trent alexander arnold? if so please write something fluffy or something antsy which gets resolved and turns to fluff
it’s you - trent alexander arnold x reader.
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quick sum: love is never easy. especially when you least expected it from liverpools finest bachelor. will you finally take the leap of faith, or lose the guy who’s willing to do the extreme for you to see reality.
wc: 1.9k | masterlist | trent’s masterlist
psa🗣️: hi angel! and hello to my trent girlies! i haven’t written for trent before so i hope you enjoy this 🤍
you felt stuck. constantly looking around and avoiding the man that had consumed your thoughts in ways you didn’t picture. feeling awkward and timid when he walked past you or your eyes connected. 
the trip was last minute, you didn’t plan to go if it wasn’t your friend insisting you went since she would be alone. you didn’t want to go, it meant you would have to see trent after you avoided him since he confessed his feelings to you. 
trent wasn’t one to speak much. always reserved and kept to himself, a completely different person on the pitch and in real life. but with you, he felt he could speak for hours about everything, not once get tired of it. you let him be the person he would’ve never pictured to be. 
what went wrong? 
he knew you from the back of your hand. needed to keep yourself busy in order to survive. an almost graduate from uni and working at your dream internship. a small volunteer worker just outside the city. 
he knew when you lied, scrunching your eyes brows and hands twitching. he knew when you felt happy, the small wrinkles and dimples popping on your face. he knew you were upset when you bit your lip and unfocused around your surroundings. 
trent knew you felt the same way he did but this time he couldn’t properly read you, left hurt and confused by your manner. “i’m in love you with y/n… i’ve never felt like this for anyone before. and it feels so right when i’m here, with you.” 
his brows drew in when your smile slowly dropped, pulling your hands back and cleared your throat. “trent…” you whispered, you clenched your jaw unsure of what to say. “i need time to think of this. i-i-i just don’t know what to say…” you stood up and grabbed your coat. 
“say you love me back,” trent prayed in his head, watching you stumble around to retrieve your belongings. “what do you mean? i confess how i feel and you’re running away?” 
“i need time to think. this is all so sudden, and i don’t want to pressure either of us. or give us false hope,” you smiled trying to reason and not break his heart. but trent’s heart broke, a millions thoughts racing in his head and the idea of not being enough tracing back. 
he fluttered his lashes and painfully smiled, was he about to cry? is this what pain felt like? a stab in the heart, millions of needles poking in his chest as his hands fisted. “well you know the way out…” trent motioned with his hand, walking to the side to let you go. 
you approached him, having the urge to explain why you said what you said, but he walked back. tears came out your eyes, knowing you hurt the man you loved in front of you. “trent,” you croaked, but he just shook his head. 
“don’t.” 
not a single soul knew of the two of you. a private secret. he wanted to protect you from his hectic world. and you wanted to have something genuine and real. you had something real. had. but like always you ruined it. like every person who walked into your life, leaving because you were scared. 
trent was straight forward with you. always communicating with you. the only person you found yourself lurking to at the end of the day. his touch lingering on you ever when you weren’t together. the way he smiled made your heart heat up and your hands slightly tremble. 
you didn’t deserve him. you were a broken person. afraid of committing. you were afraid of love. the idea of falling for a person, so hopelessly devoted to them, and in the end for it to not work out. you easily got attached, and it wasn’t any different with trent. 
trent had a way different life than yours. lights, money, women, his job, all shining on him wherever he went. he had a family, friends, a base supporting him, while you it was just your sister and trio. he constantly reminded you he wasn’t the person in the papers, which was true. 
he valued you. he trusted you. he confided in you. he respected you. he loved you. why couldn’t you just allow yourself to be with him? why did it feel hard to finally accept and take the leap of faith and be with the man who has ever truly loved you? 
you were stressed. constantly turning in your sleep. eyes closing but your head refusing for you to sleep. chest rising and falling as you listened quietly to the rain fall. the sheets barely covering your body, and the pillow feeling less fluffy and now hot. with a small groan you stood up, the time reading almost 4 am. 
you tipped tied downstairs. walking by the room your friends and his friends were occupied in. the thunder and lightning shining in the open and clear windows. you opened the cabinet and grabbed a glass, pouring cold water to relieve your dry throat. 
you closed your eyes, hands gripping the counter as you felt goosebumps suddenly rise. “couldn’t sleep?” you gasped quietly, the glass slowly tipping before quickly catching it and standing up straight. trent stood there, bags under his eyes, lips pursed with his arms crossed. muscles flexed under the loose black tee he wore with his black calvin klein boxers. 
“something like that,” you said, averting your gaze, hand coming up to brush your skin or maybe the nerves away. he stepped closer, inspecting you, noticing you were wearing the small black shirt he owned with your batman themed shorts. “same. couldn’t sleep with all the noise outside…” trent confessed, also grabbing a cold glass of water. 
you went quiet. the feeling of guilt consuming your insides as you kept asking yourself if this was truly happening. you couldn’t stop staring, savouring maybe the last few glances in case it would be the last. trying to make a mental imprint of the moles you traced while he slept, the small scar under his brow, his lips. 
your throat went dry again, but this time the cold glass of water wasn’t going to help, the only thing that could was finally take that leap and let him out of misery for the two of you. “trent…” you said softly, hearing him and finally connecting eyes. 
“don’t you think i deserve an explanation?” he asked with a sad smile. you bit your lip and nodded. “yes you do. and i’m willing to explain everything, but i understand if it’s too late,” you respected his feelings knowing he deserved this but also not wanting to push him to the limit. 
“i love you. i do. so much. i need you to know that before i start saying anything,” his eyes widened a bit, mouth opened to say something but you shushed him. “for once in my life, i can’t let you or us go. i made the mistake that night and i beat myself for it. not only did i hurt you in the process but also the idea of us.” 
“i’m scared,” you teared, smiling. “it’s scary to feel this way. to have my heart racing when i hear your name, our song, your voice. love to me always felt like a joke or fantasy. love is about letting someone know your map of flaws and imperfections. to fully be vulnerable.” 
“love with you though? is like a dream come true. you understand me more than i understand myself. you saw me for who i am and not the person i put myself to be. you love me at my prettiest and also lowest. you hold me close, kiss my forehead, and use those words of reassurance i need to hear and always believe.” 
“i love when you sleep next to me, where i get to stare at the prettiest man on earth as you sleep. i love to see your smile get bigger when i tell you about the kids at my volunteer work or my jokes. i love to sit with you at the end of the day and allow me to hear about your job and family. to see the flowers you send or bring when i see you. trent i love you, so much.” 
“i’m scared to lose you. to lose the only person i’ve let into my life this close,” you shrugged smiling painfully, holding yourself tighter as you wiped your tears away. you hear his footsteps approach, sobbing quietly when he pulls you closer to him, his hand brushing your head, feeling his lips kiss your temple. the longing feeling replaced with warmth and safety. 
your skin becoming hot and getting rid of the cold goosebumps and chilling feeling in your chest. you kiss his chest, tip toeing up as you continue to trace his neck and jaw, his cheeks with kisses mixed with your tears. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry trent,” you apologised, your hand gripping his bicep. 
“stop. don’t torture yourself anymore. let me hold you. let me feel you. it’s just you and me, okay? shhhh,” he hushed you, repeating his same movements to help you calm down. you sniffled, pulling back slightly after a minute. “i deserve you. i love you, and your imperfections and flaws. for allowing me to become the man i wished and longed to be.” 
“please don’t push me away anymore. you aren’t ever going to lose me, because what we have is eternal. your love to me is a safe space, the world and women i dreamed of having and i finally have it now. it’s you, always will be you baby,” he brushed your tears away, feeling your lips kiss his wrist and hand, losing himself in your eyes. 
“i love every single part of you.” 
the chilling counter made you hold trent tighter while laughing, feeling and hearing his deep chuckle as his hands traced your thighs. “are you ready now?” he asked, kissing your collarbone. “more than ready,” you said, officially taking the leap of faith. 
he sighed and let his shoulders fall in a relaxed manner and smiling, watching as his eyes closed and lashes touched his upper cheeks. “trent look at me…” he stood up and grabbed your chin, “i love you,” you felt the need to say to confirm your feelings and his. “i love you, pretty girl,” his nose nuzzled into your neck, tracing all the way up to your cheek. 
you sealed the night with the anticipated kiss. getting the blood rush through your veins, as you fully focused on him. his lips feeling like home. his fingers bringing your face closer to his and getting lost in the way he devoured you. not in a rushed or hard manner, in a passionate and loving way. 
“my girl officially.” 
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onyourhyuck · 2 years
Text
Sweater Weather. | J.JH (M)
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prologue- “Sorry I talk too much didn’t I?” + “No no no, Not at all. Keep talking.”
tw- friends brother x fem y/n , sungchan is Jaehyun’s younger brother. y/n is tutoring Sungchan. fluff. Y/n has a big crush on Jae and he finds it rly cute. Hyper talkative girl x boy who always listens. Potential smut in part 2 if this fic does well.
notes- tbh I was listening to sweater weather and I thought about a sweet shy girl who’s acc talkative and has lots to say but nobody ever listened to her </3
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You’re a freshmen at uni, a quietly soft spoken young student who wants to at least survive first year without dying from stress.
Everyone at campus knows how smart you are, hell you’re one of the students who gets full hundred on every subject, it shocks many to see your report card every year. Teachers love you and adore you.
Which is why when Sungchan one day approaches you by the lockers he immediately pleads for your help to solve his one life crisis problem— calculus class.
He said he will pay you fifteen a hour and that is why you agreed, but then something else played a huge part in your decision. It was his older brother who graduated this year, Jung Jaehyun. You never met him, but you surely heard a lot about him despite Jaehyun graduating not that long ago. The man was practically a legend at your campus. He had perfect grades, perfect attendance, he got all his degrees and ended up becoming really successful at whatever he’s doing now. Teachers go absolutely mental about him. He was a prodigy. Jaehyun even won a champion cup for the team’s football.
Now you weren’t going to lie, he was attractive, his face school photos were posted on the wall students of honour with every year a new student was picked out. Y/n day dreams about meeting such a perfect guy, hell now’s her chance. Sungchan needs her help and well Y/n can meet her idol..if that’s what you could call him.
So now you’re sitting on Sungchan’s bed composing yourself because you are settling into the background fact that you are— in a boy’s house for the first time since you could remember. You clear your throat when Sungchan comes back with a glass of cold iced water, he sits down on the bed next to you as he hands you it.
“Thank you for tutoring me y/n, I know it was really weird to ask because we aren’t close at all.” The boy tells and you shake your head politely sipping the cold beverage down. “I’m glad to help you out so it’s nothin’ don’t worry about it.”
He smiles nodding. “Thanks again.”
“So… what exactly are you struggling in calculus?” You put the glass down on the beside table so it wouldn’t bother both of you when studying. Y/n crawls on the bed crossing her legs as you watch Sungchan who opens the math text book rubbing the back of his long mullet hair from behind.
The boy looks like a confused lost bambi who knows nothing. Which wasn’t a good sign for Y/n but nothing hard can’t be overcome without practice.
“How about, everything?…”
You bite your bottom lip watching the boy who smiles dumbly. You nod slowly looking down at the identical text book except that one was yours. Your voice croaks out into jambles. “Well let’s start from the very beginning then.” This was no ordinary task it seems.
Sungchan nods with a grin. “Alright professor y/n.”
The two kept themselves busy talking amongst themselves solely about the subject. The girl was quite firm with her way of teaching though she never meant to be harsh and blunt, there wasn’t any way to put out and explain such a subject in nicer terms. In other words, there wasn’t any way to sugar coat it. Calculus was a very blunt subject, not everyone will be guaranteed to get it on first try— Y/n was simply just one of the few percentages who did get it by a click of a thumb.
It was fascinating though. Sungchan could start to get the areas he struggled with and that was definitely an improvement in this long session. There was something about the way that he found Y/n teaching was way more easier and simpler to understand than half of the teachers actually teaching at the campus. He felt truly relieved to see him figuring some of the problems on his own.
“I think I’m getting it.” Sungchan exclaims loudly with a vicarious smile, standing up from his bed and stretching. “Let’s take a short break, I really need to go to the toilet.”
Y/n nods as she looks at the time on her phone screen. 5.00pm. You could sacrifice three more hours here before going home. You let out a sigh as Sungchan opens the door.
“Oh by the way y/n if you need anything just ask. I’ll be right back okay?”
Sungchan left the room and this was probably where you’re trespassing on grounds you shouldn’t be. You stood up from the bed and left the bedroom, you make your way into the kitchen to explore. I mean surely, a little exploring wouldn’t hurt right?
Plus it’s not like you’re up to no good. You’re innocently wondering about to stretch your legs. Yes that was exactly it.
“You’re Sungchan’s friend right?”
A deep voice struck you from behind causing your feet to slip and turn on the heels, immediately met with a familiar face you could only see on picture but now it was face to face. He was breathing the same air as you. Y/n raises her eyes in surprise.
“O-oh.” You stutter out, mind went blank and you were unable to think of what to reply. Jaehyun closes the front door as he took his shoes off, seemingly back from work it looks like. Jaehyun turns to face y/n again. “You’re y/n I believe?”
How does he know my name, you exclaim in your head. Your idol knows your name. Y/n practically felt her legs tremble a little, she’s more than sure jaehyun took notice of that too.
“Uhm, yeah that’s me. Hi.” You awkwardly wave. He gives a kind smile at your very visible abnormal gesture.
He looks around loudly speaking in the hallways. Their modern apartment complex was really spacious but closed all in together making it perfect to make short trips between each room, it never felt claustrophobic. “Sungchan! I’m home.”
Jaehyun reveals. The door slams open with Sungchan running out the bathroom with wet hands as he dried them on his shorts.
“Hyung! Hey, you met y/n.” He grins ear to ear as he wraps an arm around your shoulder on the side. You give a soft smile as Jaehyun looks at his brother and you looking real comfy in the embrace.
“I did meet y/n. You never told me she was really pretty.” Jaehyun trails and Sungchan looks at y/n with one eyebrow raised. “I didn’t really pay attention to that. Uh hyung!” He calls out again.
“Did you know y/n is a prodigy in my class just like you were?”
Jaehyun stops midway as he turns to eye y/n up and down. He visible could see right through your body as if it was an open x-Ray for open visiting to view. You mentally could curse out Sungchan because the title enough was as pressuring to keep up with standards but nevertheless, to be called a prodigy was also really a knockout for y/n.
She wasn’t really successful she was just doing good at classes. In other words she’s a big geeky nerd who has no life but to study so she’s doing what she has to do to make her parents proud. Since she never came from a rich family she doesn’t have much hope from other people’s expectations. So might as well make it big career wise.
Especially if she cannot get a boyfriend… hell even a girlfriend alone itself. Y/n truly believes she’s destined to be alone and die alone. She even told herself that she will end her family’s bloodline because she’s an only child and there’s no way she will get married with the amount of social skills she has let along flirting skills. She has no bitches.
Plus. No one has ever called her pretty before. Jaehyun was the first one to ever do so. You grit yourself teeth together forcing out a soft laugh as you spat words of confusion at the boy only audible to him.
“What. Are. You. Saying. Sungchan-”
The boy clears his throat. “It’s true. Your report cards are seriously the best of the best in our year.” Jaehyun hums walking forward as he leans down to take a closer look at y/n. The girl took one step back slowly to keep a decent distance gap between the tall man who was eyeing her out of sudden.
“It’s really nice to see another prodigy other than myself.” Jaehyun softly tells. He reaches his hand on your head petting it down the head lovingly, with a praise leaning his soft pale baby pink lips. “Good job y/n, keep up the good work for four years and you’ll definitely get somewhere.”
No one has ever praised you before, not even your parents, at least not in a way jaehyun just did. usually you’d get a good work or well done, but nothing so detailed to the point it made your body shut down as well as your brain. You felt your eyes eyelashes curl, your lips prickle with excitement unable to hide the happy smile because when those words hit your ears they begin to perk up like a happy dog would when wagging their tail. Your round apple cheeks squirm, the way your voice increased up one or two octaves.
Jaehyun saw light enter your light amber brown eyes and he just knew from the moment he complimented you, you were probably the most happiest human.
Sungchan clears his throat bringing Y/n into reality where she broke eye contact with the older man to look at the boy who had his hand wrapped tight. “Y/n you might need to help me with English too..I’ll pay you extra.”
you hawk your eyes at Sungchan. You were sure if you could stay for that long, but if the boy was really struggling then there was little to no choice here. You mutter.
“Okay but i’ll need to let my mum know about that.” You nervously smile. “You see I was supposed to home by at least round 7.00”
Jaehyun scolds the young boy quick. “Yah don’t tell me you didn’t think about her personal life.” Sungchan clears his voice. “Of course I did…I really need help with English too I just realised.”
You were quick to defend Sungchan even though staying over at Sungchan’s house any longer was surely going to kill you inside and out knowing that jaehyun is home now; your heart wasn’t sure if it could handle being anything near the man now. “I- I mean I can handle it.”
Jaehyun would tut his lips sealing them together. It looks like he had a lot to say but he didn’t bother speaking it out freely. Sungchan drags you back into his room where you two started working on English. Knowing the amount of time you guys have spared before you had to go was enough to push the younger boy to his limits to know the basics.
As you were working with Sungchan your thoughts were flooded with many distractions; all of those happening to do with Jaehyun, surprising right?
The boy murmurs a few nonsense lines that you blocked out of your head until Sungchan was constantly shouting your name now.
“Y/n? Helloooo, earth to y/nnnn.”
Nothing but a dazedly eyes looking in the distance with a lovestruck smile and heart eyes growing back to the moment jaehyun seemingly praised you for your hard work that you were blindly doing just because it seemed like it was the best choice.
Sungchan exclaims loudly. “Y/n! Wake up.”
Y/n flinches at the raise of his voice turning round to him with a soft ‘huh’ coming out your lips. You blink a few times as Sungchan motions to the English text book and you clear your voice.
“God y/n what were you deeply thinking about?” Sungchan scolds quietly. You rub your neck anxiously, couldn’t help but think to yourself, your hot ass brother.
“I was just dozing off into dream land. Anyways, that word means beautiful.” You trail pointing your thumb on the textbook. Sungchan would ‘ooh’ as you silently go back to teaching him again. Until a knock would be heard and Sungchan turns to the door, groaning. “Come in hyung.” He tells.
the door creams half ajar open before slowly revealing the tall figure in a white tank top revealing his muscular arms as well as broad shoulders, grey sweatpants that were loosely fitting round his crotch and legs area. He had messy brushed out hair and his face was hauntingly gorgeously pale with soft pinkish lips and brown piercing eyes ready to launch and pierce y/n’s heart in half.
Jaehyun leans on the doorframe with one hand as he relaxes the other under his tank top shirt, scratching his milk-chiselled abs he slowly reveals.
“So since y/n is staying over for tonight. What do you guys want to eat?” He really pin printed the conversation on you to be honest, jae knows well Sungchan would eat anything. Sungchan looks over at the girl who shyly looks down.
“I’ll eat anything that Sungchan wants to eat.” Y/n mentions. Jaehyun hums. “Don’t be shy if you want something you can go and get it. I’m already grateful for the fact that you’re taking your entire free day to tutor my helpless brother.”
Sungchan pouts hearing his brother as he immediately shoos him out. “Ah hyung you really don’t need to mean smack talk me with her.” Jaehyun grins as he pushes Sungchan out of his way. “Ay come on, also go and make something to eat then because y/n will eat whatever you’ll eat.”
Sungchan nods as he left without a complaint to go and sort something out for dinner. This means that jaehyun would be left alone with y/n. Just the thought of this left the girl wondering scenarios… so many scenarios in her head.
The man slowly approaches on the edge as he sits on Sungchan’s bed with y/n next to her. He grabs with his hands softly y/n’s english journal where she keeps all her work from classes in. He would flicker through the pages as he was analysing everything from the first page to the very last which would be recent.
The handwriting was pretty cursive and jaehyun couldn’t help but think that the girl was really organised, pretty handwriting and hella smart. He had to admit she was determined and for someone who’s lived in America for four years, she was pretty skilled in English— especially because she never been to America once in her life.
Y/n shyly looks down at her fiddling thumbs before jaehyun puts her book down. He soon expressed approval in his lingering deep husky voice.
“You’re really impressive you know that, y/n?” He turns to the quiet girl who said nothing but nod. Jaehyun couldn’t help but be intrigued and pulled further to getting to know the young girl. “What do you want to be when you’re older?”
He asked such a long deep question that y/n herself was still trying to figure out. She just wants to be someone successful maybe someone important too. Because if anything she didn’t feel special once in her life until she met jaehyun,
He makes her feel good inside and outside. He saw y/n start to contemplating the question as her voice begins to waver.
“Uhm well, someone successful and important I guess.” She murmurs. “I guess I’ll be whatever my parents want me to be.”
Jaehyun tilts his head. “But won’t that be your parents and not yourself?” The man guessed and the girl lightly shrugs.
He was right in many ways. It wouldn’t really be her dream or her life if she was to follow her parents choices. She sits up straight and Jaehyun was quick to ask again, another deep question.
“I’m going to ask again. What do you really want, yn?”
“I want to be someone’s special someone. I never really experienced a relationship and it would be nice to have someone that loves me as much as I love them. Plus, i was alone most of my childhood so it wouldn’t hurt to have a person who’s sorta like my safe place..?”
In reality you really only need someone who would understand you on an emotional level that you could spend the rest of your life with. You’re an old child with busy parents who always worked to make a living for you. Growing up poor was hard enough. Now you’re doing everything to become rich but in all Saint truth,
You were really just needing someone to love you. Jaehyun gives a reassuring smile as he reaches to softly stroke your head as you look down unable to make enough of a long eye contact with Jaehyun. He hums in awe.
Then you realised that you basically dumped your deep rooting problems on a guy you just met. Y/n was quick to turn to Jaehyun with defensive hands shaking them softly.
“Sorry I talk too much didn’t I?” Y/n insists forward as her eyes were droopy eyed feeling like a massive burden. Jaehyun was quick to protest as he wraps his hands with y/n’s interlocking them. Reassuring her slowly.
“No no no, Not at all. Keep talking.” Jaehyun smiles watching the girl slowly come out of the shell. She might seem like a timid little fragile thing, but he swears there is so much more underneath the first impressions he’s getting. People just haven’t been making effort to get to know this wonderful person.
You felt as if jaehyun just understood you. You didn’t feel judged and this made you feel…so much more comfortable round him.
There was something so pleasant to hear her speak and jaehyun for a moment believed he were bewitched by your sweet longing voice.
“How do you feel about going on a trip with me and Sungchan down to my family’s private villa?”
Y/n blinks looking forward at the man in front, half confused if she heard him correctly but when her eyes didn’t deceive her she slowly gasps. Jaehyun couldn’t help but chuckle hearing her reaction as well as seeing it. It was..innocently cute.
“I- me? At your private villa? Oh no that’s… too much to accept.” You mutter out confused. He scoffs gently. “Who said so? Plus I want to get to know you more. I promise it’s not going to be intimidating.”
You purse your lips into a thin line. “If..Sungchan says yes then I’ll go.”
Jaehyun smiles ear to ear. “Deal.”
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu<3 pls reblog this fic it helps a girl out and follow me for more to stay updated for more fics.
I’m sorry but shy girls who are actually super hyperactive and talkative when comfortable are the cutest. I don’t make the rules up. Who else wants a PART 2? If you do Lemme know bc I actually enjoyed writing this <3
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sanjiswetcigarettes0 · 5 months
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Acelaw people! I’m here to offer you my first and not so great acelaw Headcanon writing! Please accept my poor attempt on this 🙏🏻
To Be So Lonely
word count 1.530
If we think of acelaw where everything is real between them,
Law Trafalgar was a tough, quiet man and was someone who tried not to be involved in other things, trying to keep himself on the road he barely managed to put in a order his whole life, all he did is do his work as a surgeon and rescue other people’s life in the hospital. (Do not question his survival guilt.) The sea he had in his mind was always wild, and all he needed to do was to stay quiet until it quiet down too.
He kept himself alive with his coffees and his little crew most of the time, with his friends who sometimes came to his house to bringing some self made food and putting him to his untouched bed after their jobs end. He liked his life like this, and he knew the way his life wasn’t as healthy as his job expected him to be, but be assured, he liked it this way.
Trafalgar Law, who was “too busy for other people or any relationship”, (he kept saying that ) always would come home alone with his regular take-outs and coffee to greet his cats with a warm smile , would kneel to pet their heads and get his daily energy boost at 8:20 p.m from their purrs and meows. It has been like this since he graduated to become a surgeon as he promised himself as a kid, didn’t allowed people in his life, ( he hadn’t any clue how the crew became family to him in that time where he just met those people in uni and had some drink with them at his house, ) and why would it be different? He was fine with his awfully quiet life and night shifts.
But now, in the other hand, he was feeling quiet irritated with the fact that his cats were purring (for real now?) and wandering around a man’s feet he never met before; right now: on a Saturday morning where had a day off and could grind his coffee own and wake up late, he opened his front house door to find a man who was standing on the next front door and had boxes up to his freckled curvy nose, (he couldn’t see the obviously younger man’s whole face) chatting with a younger blonde man with long hair as his was.
Law could feel a frown take place on his serious face, (it’s his normal morning face, okay? ), he held his coffee mug tightly and tried to call his cats whispering over to the man’s feet trough the noisy chatting at 8:40 am quietly to avoid making any more noise this early, “ Beppo!” , “ Asami!” but causing to cough those two’s attention to him, make them turn to him with interest and to hear a “I’m inside if you need me, you go meet with your neighbour, and apologise for your noisiness!” from a calmer, British accented voice before the different looking kind man went inside and left the two of them alone on the hall of the apartment with a quiet, but calming awkwardness.
Law blinked restlessly, but had a break to look down to his cats rubbing on his fluffy slippers returning to their warm home meowing. He put his coffee cup to the ground , and then glanced at the man putting his boxes to stand normally, and finally, saw the man’s face who had the whole damn sun’s brightness on his freckled, smiley, pretty face.
His frown disappeared, weird, he thought , and to be completely honest, he was ready to curse for the noise he had to witness at this early hour of his off day- but for fuck’s sake, the man hadn’t plan to meet the best thing that ever happened to him, on that day. Nope, surely not this early in the morning.
The man who stole his cats had long wavy raven coloured hair, a crooked but heartwarming smile, something pretty and energetic Law didn’t expect to see this early. His freckled face was so openly, inviting the sun itself to shine more. He had broad shoulders looking pretty on a dark blue shirt, fewer tattoos visible under his folded arms on his pale skin and a charming smile that Law had to fight not to deceived.
Was to be so lonely finally enough?
“Oh hey! I’m Portgas Ace and am yer new front neighbour! m’ sorry for disturbing you, nice to meet ya!”
Said Ace, his long buff arms waving him and continuing to talking with his energetic voice like he really wasn’t freezing on this early spring morning,
“were they yer cats? I’m sorry they ran out to wander ‘round me, I guess they liked me!”
and before Law could part his nervously together pressed lips to talk and only stop to realise he was starting to communicate with this gorgeous (who even said that?) man standing before him, he wet his lips to say no and leave to be alone forever, again, but heard something unusual for the first-meeting from the man that changed everything for good.
Fuck.
In fact, he was socially awkward and couldn’t say no to save his own damn life, especially to someone like this weirdly good looking man who looked like he ate the fucking sun.
“Would ya like to have a breakfast with us?”
It was clearly a invite, huh?
And if you would ask him, Law definitely didn’t want to have the younger man to be a part of his lonely life, him bringing Law life and the energy to come home earlier, to see him every morning on his kitchen preparing him some healthy breakfast at 4:50 am, nor wanted to admit that he really went for kissing the young man’s warm smiley lips endlessly every time he would call him “ love”.
Everything had changed, he knew it, after he met Ace on the floor of his new house and had the most tastiest breakfast of his life prepared by Ace’s second little brother Sabo, and was welcomed like he was family while he was a stranger before 10 minutes, 3 years ago.
And as he noticed that he liked being around Ace those times, and getting pulled out of his house on his free days by him only to return to his house with warm and fuzzy feelings he never had , saying “maybe it isn’t too bad to have company” , it was now too late to return back to his cold quite days where he wasn’t all over a man whose the sun itself radiating warmth from his pure skin, giggling while his freckles were kissed. Where he didn’t have someone to make him laugh every day/ or even on a normal day.
He loved Ace, liked hearing him calling himself “the second dad” of the cats and one big dog they had together, and the warm (really warm!) nights & mornings they shared in the apartment that was now theirs. Petting Ace’s soft hair every time he fell asleep on Law while he was reading something about organs or narcolepsy was always something that made the two of them calmer, and feeling the other’s body heath getting even warmer with every kiss he got down his freckled belly underLaw’s big hands wasn’t something new.
“Ya got me heatin’ like a sunny day, darling, oh please don’t stop.”
It was like a dream, wanting was enough, sitting on their old British armchair, holding the man he loved the most in his arms tightly keeping him from jumping out while shouting “ yer gonna see when I kick yer ass when I see ya Roronoa!” to the tall younger man with moss coloured hair holding Luff’s hand, smirking while stealing the younger brother of Ace from the “ the together night” where everyone they loved were together. He was laughing intensely, pulling Ace from his waist to make him sit back on his thighs, then stroking the raven hair he loved most, saying “ leave the youngsters alone, they’re still figuring everything out, ” while giggling. It was like Law had two big energetic dogs, but one of them was definitely a handsome young man he wanted to marry, he must’ve admit that. Everyone were together, and being lonely wasn’t even the thing anymore. Surely, he still got headaches over the sunshine man talking nonstop to his ear, but never felt overwhelmed or never wanted to be alone, ever.
When Ace joined to his lonely, busy life and never left his side although Law himself couldn’t get used to being loved for so long, but he never gave up and fought for their feelings. He knew he loved this man with his whole life. Being lonely wasn’t a option anymore, he knew how spring brought him the biggest treasure to him, because could feel the love inside him when he couldn’t even let go of this man’s body to get up from their bed, murmuring quietly, “ I’ll be back at midnight.” while kissing his freckled face.
Trafalgar Law was now in love; a happy man who would stop by a coffee shop to bring home some pumpkin spice latte every autumn just to see his fiancé’s happy face because it was worth it. Say, could it even be better?
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jeannereames · 3 months
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The Importance of Space
Sometimes where we work matters. At least it does for me.
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When my sabbatical was approved for spring of 2024, I assumed I’d do it where I’d spent most of the pandemic: my couch with a rolling laptop desk, and my kitchen table. I have an office at the uni, yes, but have never worked well there. As a grad student, I got used to research in my home space, and I never successfully transitioned to an office somewhere else. I have colleagues who can't work at home, for whatever reason, but I work best at home (even when my son was young).
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For some time, I've planned to renovate my upstairs into an office after my son graduated and moved out, for “when I retire.” In fact, I bought this old (1936) house because it had a lovely open floor plan in the finished attic that just SCREAMS library/office. But it needed a split-AC to better control the temps, and serious updating. I’d even had thoughts of adding a little half-bath. I started saving up for all this as soon as I moved in, but it would cost a lot, so it became what felt like a “unicorn” long-term goal. My work for the ATG Netflix docudrama was to get additional funds towards that renovation sooner than “some day.”
This past summer, I finally had the split-AC done. Nothing else could move forward until that, replacing windows, and the potential half-bath. Yet estimates for the last were out of this world, post-Covid, so I decided to jettison the idea.
THAT meant—around August/September—I realized I might be able to get all the updates done in time for sabbatical.
You have no idea how much this recognition thrilled me. To have My Own Home Office (again), and make it just the way I wanted it (albeit without a half-bath). So, bids commenced. I had a GOAL, and a timeline. My sabbatical would begin January 2nd, 2024. And by golly, I was going to have my office (mostly) ready. That a retrograde Mercury would turn direct the evening of January 1st (my time zone), made me all the more convinced that it was the right date to begin.
Ergo, on top of the crazy teaching load, and editing for the Macedonian collection, I scheduled renovations. I just had to survive through December! It was sometimes anxiety-inducing, and half my library (non-academic) was up there. I had to pack all the books (c.1000+), move them downstairs, then move them BACK. Upside? I’ve been recording them with Library Thing as I unpack and reshelve, so I’ll finally have an accurate list of everything I own, at least at home. I’m also slowly using those same (emptied) boxes to bring home books and files from my uni office, for research. And for Christmas, my dear son made me a pair of custom sized-for-the-wall-space bookshelves, 5 feet by 5 feet. I’m tickled pink.
I even managed to find, after much searching, a desk and office chair that are low enough for a short person (The Struggle Is Real). They arrived just in time to be assembled before Jan. 2nd. It really did feel like FATE.
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Oh, yes…best part. My office is inspired by Chefchaouen, Morocco’s famous Blue City, with bi-colored blue walls, white ceiling and accents, and a terra-cotta toned carpet. The various installers thought I was nuts until they actually saw it complete: ‘Oh, yeah, this really works.’ Um, yes. Yes, it does. Sun-yellow cushion and blue-yellow-white sheer scarf curtains complete it. Plus a beautiful blue-and-white bowl a student brought back from Morroco for me—the first décor I set out along with my reproduction of the gold sarcophagus from Royal Tomb II at Vergina that Beth Carney bequeathed me.
Eventually, once all the bookshelves are in place, I’ll decorate with photos from Macedonia. My dining room features photographs I took in Rome + a little Greece, the living room is mostly Greece…but my office? That’ll be Macedonia. Virtually all the pictures in the house (with a couple exceptions) I took myself.
There's still a lot more to do; less than half the books are unpacked. My white board isn't up yet, some furniture is still downstairs, BUT.
Today, I unpacked the Loebs I’d brought home, onto my new desk, and started organizing my research. 😊
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luvdzu · 1 year
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alice's relationship with nct
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♡ taeyong x alice - - - taeri ๑
๑ didn't agree in alice studying law at first because he thought about the backlash she could face, especially from the company and he also felt guilty for not protecting alice enough
๑ alice simply wants to be a person taeyong can lean on, especially in their rookie days, alice also felt guilty for causing stress towards taeyong and for her existence in the group
๑ literally, this push and pull went on for a few years and it wasn't only when alice graduated he went their to surprise her and they had a heartfelt dinner and became understanding of one another
♡ taeil x alice - - - aleil ๑
๑ doesn’t want to admit it and will keep on denying the “taeil’s favorite member is alice” agenda yet is so flustered whenever alice calls him oppa and asks for stuff honestly it’s endearing
๑ alice goes to taeil when she's having trouble in her classes, and when they become too much, he will make her a meal and remind her to eat and take breaks
๑ supportive of alice when she told the members she'll go to uni and take law school, he knew of her family condition and would offer cheer her up, especially during exams, he would be the first to take her out and distract her
♡ johnny x alice - - - aly ๑
๑ johnny thinks alice is the most adorable headache to ever exist, of course he says this lovingly
๑ he gets whiplashed at the duality of alice because one she'll be chaotic and loud, the next she's mysterious and silent, when they first met, johnny confronted her about giving mixed signals
๑ but is also very proud of alice especially when she was juggling university and promotions, despite being on tour, she managed to insert her online classes
♡ yuta x alice - - - alyu ๑
๑ these have a different dynamic, i can't explain it, they either hate each other and won't mention anything, or have these small cute moments together
๑ it's like the older brother vibe with yuta, but they're also besties, but yuta is frank about it and isn't afraid to talk shit
๑ antis say they're not close but yuta know a lot about alice since he's the one alice approaches especially when it comes to advice about relationships and other juicy stuff in her life
♡ doyoung x alice - - - youngri ๑
๑ alice lives of flustering doyoung and teasing him, making him panic everytime, especially when they're on camera, the tension, there's just something about these two, zennies are suspicious but don't mind the crumbs the meal
๑ how did doyoung survive rooming with her is a question and a mystery to all czennies because they can't seem to keep their hands off eachother
๑ alice enjoys whispering things to doyoung and leaning towards his ears to ask for whatever she wants and then just skips away from him leaving doyoung laughing or shaking his head
♡ jaehyun x alice - - - jaeri ๑
๑ they just clicked, not sure if it was the fake laughing or fake smiling but they see through each other's shit
๑ also became closest the fastest because they're booked together in fashion shows, hence they hang out every other day and share a schedule
๑ seems like the most intimidating in the group but are actually a bunch of emotionally constipated members who will either shower you with love or nothing at all, they're cute so it works
♡ jungwoo x alice - - - woori ๑
๑ they argue way too much, jungwoo stem major brain and alice humanities mouth, they just argue
๑ but all in moderation, alice is happy and thankful because jungwoo helps her with her case digests and often reads them with her, hence argues with her a lot of the time
๑ he's the productive study buddy, because jungwoo takes alice's homework, too seriously, and he also enjoys reading transcripts and cases while they talk discourse about it
♡ mark x alice - - - malice ๑
๑ malice because they're so chaotic and for what? literally they say things without speaking which leads to a lot of awkward silences and the hyung line making distractions away from them
๑ imagine how stressed johnny is dealing with these two? they speak english and chaos somehow ensues, also are banned to having lives together
๑ most of mark's embarrassing moments were with alice, johnny, or jaehyun. but also alice simply let's mark do his things, let's him be a child around her, away from the responsibilities.
♡ haechan x alice - - - alhae ๑
๑ haechan is my baby, do not hurt him, do not touch him, do not look at him in a negative manner 3948383 times a day
๑ alice will come to haechan's beck and call, and will even handle his teasing because to her, "haechan is still a kid okay stop making fun of my baby"
๑ babies haechan, and are each other's hypeman, also vocals on vocals, will sing out of nowhere and the other will run to harmonize, it's just vocal things 🪄
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Text
Status update: I think life is... okay?
Don't mind me, just had a little moment of self reflection and what might be gratitude.
So uh, there were some really bad times in my life. 2018 was such a time, among other times. 2020 was another. The exam period of 2022 was one, too. And yeah, that's life, you have bad moments, but those were BAD bad.
And now it's 2023, and I had spent so long stressing about the future and worrying about how we'll be able to manage and if I'm really built for the adult life, but now that it's 2023 it would appear that life is, in fact... okay.
I graduated university. Not with the highest grade, but with a second highest, and I'm mostly happy with that because I did my best even though I still curse that one design assignment that brought me so down that it alone dragged me from first class honours to a 2.1. But whatever, you know? I can't change that, and even if I could I don't know what I'd do better because I legitimately gave it my best. My best may not have been very good, but at least I scraped a pass in that module, and I'll take that.
I have a job. It's not in the field I studied, but I really only did it to get into a high paying (STEM) field, and my experience with CNC gained from uni and work experience helped me land this job. I like this job. It pays okay, the people are nice, and even though it's pretty simple and it takes me a while to commute, it's really nice. And it's the longest I've ever worked in a job (thanks, COVID). I never saw myself doing this, but y'know, a job doesn't have to be your passion - it can be just what you need to keep your head above the water. And uh, I like this job i have. I could've landed worse.
I take the train Mon-Fri and walk to and from the station. It's nice to walk again, and to take the train. It's nice that I don't have to drive. I still don't like driving.
I'm writing again. I'm no longer horribly burnt out by university and the stress and misery and trauma of the past few years. I'm writing, I'm close to finishing a major passion project, and I'm slowly getting back into drawing. Baby steps, though, since I know that rushing headfirst into things will just overwhelm and tire me out. I'm getting back into gaming. Our reenactment group might start running D&D sessions. I signed up for a fandom writing event.
I have friends. They're good friends - we wouldn't be friends otherwise. I have a few groups of friends, even! 13 year old me could only dream of having friends who understood her way of thinking.
I try to take care of myself. I shower regularly, take my meds for hormone balancing so bloodstain fever doesn't literally cut my legs from under me like it did in high school, I finally got a competent optician to check my eyes, and a friend recommended me a dentist to call since I haven't been to one since before COVID. I try to cut down my phone usage.
I have money. I have security. I can top up our electricity and gas so that we're warm on the winter, and I can buy myself sweets if I want. I like to cook. I do chores to music and found this kind of salmon yoghurt snack for cats (no actual lactose content) that our two cats are obsessed with. Today I read a 300 page book in one day - something which hasn't happened in a while. It was a good book. It gave me the impression that it would've been more impactful if I were in a worse place than I am now, which then led me to a realisation that I am, in fact, in a better place than I used to be.
It's not all perfect. I mean, it cannot be perfect, because nothing is perfect. But that's fine, you know? I remember a time where the worries I have weren't even on past me's radar because she was struggling with my dad's cancer and death, my mom's depression and suicidal thoughts, anxiety, insecurity, lack of money, burnout, the stress of university, unemployment, expectations, helplessness, COVID, more burnout, and gods fuck I don't want to drag up other things I was put through. But I survived all that, and these things aren't there anymore. Grief, sure, yeah, sometimes, but that's natural. But the others have mostly fucked off, and I'm just... taking in the reality that things are better.
Because y'know, things are going to get better eventually. You never know when, you never know how, but you will find a way to be okay. They likely won't be okay ALL THE TIME, and being okay won't always be easy, but you'll be okay in the end. One way or another.
I don't know where I was going with this, or if I was going somewhere with this in the first place. I think I'll just clean up my room, make myself some tea, put the book back on the shelf, and cuddle the cat snoring away on my bed. I'll hang out with Mom, maybe we'll play some Minecraft and watch the game do its best to fuck me over (last time I was yeeted into the middle of an ice biome and discovered the hard way that they added a kind of snow that deals frost damage.) I'll think about what to cook for tomorrow, maybe start another book, maybe watch another tutorial on how to operate Clip Studio Paint.
I like this life, I think. This is a life I don't mind living.
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healingagoddess · 2 years
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And you became a perfect stranger (Run part 2)
Request(?: @the-camilucha​ said “This turn of events was interesting! Will you post an other episode? I really like it!“ and of course I did. <3
Warnings: English is not my first language.
Pairing: Ajak/F!Reader
Words: 2795
Note: It took me a whole month to write this since I am in my last semester of uni. I am graduating in May. However, I wanted to write something to release stress and I kept coming back and forth with this fic. I kept deleting stuff and forgetting details. I wholeheartedly apologize if this fic seems to be all over the place, I really tried to make it make sense and to be as close as possible with the original story and to mantain intimate moments with reader.
Taglist: @fivemillioneyes <3
Part 1 -- Part 3
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Ajak has been quiet and she has bags under her eyes. It is something you have never seen before. Yes, she was crushed after you all took different directions, but this time it feels different. She seems scared, and she is hiding something that you know it’s huge. And you are scared too, but you have faith in her. She holds your hand as you both get off the plane, and she keeps close to you the entire ride to Sersi’s place. It is night time, and there is a possibility that maybe Ikaris has found her. But then, your painful silence has come to a stop as you suddenly feel danger.
“Ajak.” You whisper softly, squeezing her left hand.
And you know she feels it too; the ambiance that is only created when a deviant is near. She pulls away as she gazes through the window to the city of London, the driver continues its route clueless, and then Ajak tells him to stop. You both get out of the cab and find yourselves quickening your steps to the big commotion happening from the other side of the canal. You are faster than Ajak, so you get a step ahead and find yourself surrounded by many replicas of Sprite and Sersi walking around the street. A confused deviant keeps track of their movements. It seems like you inspire the child looking Eternal, it makes you feel proud.
Running back to Ajak you stop her for a few moments, hiding both of you behind a column that leads to an exit through the canal, you hush her down and she stares at you with wide eyes. And that’s when you both hear Sprite scream, and take off, but before Ajak is able to move further you make her take a step back.
“Stay here.” You plead with your eyes as your replicas start running behind you and into the street.
Ajak gives a firm nod, and you finally take off.
“Y/N!” You hear Sprite shout out, she sounds surprised to see your replicas throwing the deviant off her. Just as you join them she gives Sersi a very excited smile, she seems happy to see you.
But before you can say something a huge deviant launches at you, and just as your replicas jump in to help there are thousands of petal roses pooling around you. At full speed you take turns to throw the deviant around until it is thrown into the water. Sersi and Sprite rush to your aid only to find the deviant has escaped, an unknown man is following after them.
“Y/N” Sersi whispers, she seems surprised yet grateful to see you. “That deviant. How did it survive?”
“Sersi.”
All four of you turn to look at the woman at the other end of the street. Ajak stands there, worry in her face and something else you can’t quite figure out yet. She has this maternal look you had not seen in a long time, it is different from the way she looks at Ikaris. She extends her arms ready to embrace them.
“Ajak!” Sprite yells and rushes to the waiting arms.
Sersi follows behind her and also throws herself joining them in a hug.
“Ajak, what is happening?” Sersi asks, you approach them slowly and notice the man doing the same.
“Yes, I would actually want know that too.” The man speaks.
You hadn’t seen a human this spooked in a long time. It would be funny in other circumstances; you also take notice that he is not Ikaris. He didn’t go after them.
_ ✽ _
After Sersi bid her goodbye to her… friend, and she returns to the home she shares with Sprite you are quick to stand up as she opens the door. You don’t know how to break down the news that her husband has turned his back on his own “family”. And yet, you know it is not your place to say so because Ajak has not told you the reason why. And speaking of who, the said prime eternal is looking miserable. Her gaze lost somewhere as she is trying to collect her thoughts. The news on the background are not helping to cool it down, you are still feeling the thrill of the rush.
“What happened out there?” Sersi asks, she looks better than the last time you saw her.
“With the ice melting the remaining deviants were freed from their sleep. The earthquake was the earth letting us know that it… happened.” Ajak replies, her distant gaze never flickering as it continues to stare at the same spot.
She is not lying… but she is lying.
“Why?” Sersi insists.
Ajak finally looks at Sersi then closes her eyes, takes a breath, and then exhales through her nose. She nods gently, and even though she looks like a mess she seems calm… soothing. She opens her eyes and she still seems tired, her eyes are glimmering with something that are not tears.
“We need to re-group.” She declares.
Sersi nods, not even questioning her once.
“Family reunion.” You state sarcastically sitting back on your chair.
“About time.” Sprite says from her place on the window.
“There is something else you need to know Sersi.” Ajak reaches for her hand to comfort the eternal.
Sersi seems confused and turns to look at you for answers to something… that has not been said to you either.
“Ikaris won’t be joining us anytime soon.” She speaks softly, but says nothing else. She is debating something in her head and you know she can’t talk about it.
“He tried to kill Ajak.” So you speak for her. You can’t help it when you had to save her and it was only for mere seconds. He almost killed her.
Ajak closes her eyes as the truth comes out. Sersi blinks once and then frowns.
Sprite having been listening to your conversations quickly joins you at the table. “He would never do that.”
“He turned against his kind.” You continue. “Had it not been for the fact I saw murder in his eyes… Ajak would be gone.” You feel anger once again.
“Why?” Sersi asks the burning question you’ve been pounding in your head.
“When we find the others I’ll explain everything. It is important we re-group to discuss this.”
Sersi nods and excuses herself. You can see tears forming in her eyes, and it breaks your heart. You all give her some privacy. Sprite seems confused and almost close to tears, she is overthinking something.
_ ✽ _           
That night you couldn’t sleep. You have to wake up early in the morning to catch a flight to Bollywood. But the only thing you do is stare at her figure as she tries to sleep too. It feels distant which is strange because it also feels intimate and lonely.
You want her to let you in.
“I can feel you staring.” She mumbles before turning to face you with closed eyes.
She is quite a lovely mess under the silver light that peeks through the window above you. Her hair is everywhere and her voice sleepy.
You don’t say anything, your head rests on your hand as you support it with your elbow. You continue to stare at her until she opens her eyes and offers a soft sleepy smile. You are not smiling instead you lean in until you are to eye level to her. She is going through something and you can feel something horrible will happen. There are many things you want to say, but just one look into her eyes and your heart breaks. You give a slow blink communicating something you don’t know and then shrug.
“You stare a lot.” She says. “I hope what happened this morning won’t bother you anymore.”
And your eyes sting and your chin quivers.
She pulls you into a soft hug and showers you with small kisses as you weep into the crook of her neck. It is so unlike you to be like this. You are always very well put together. But the weight of everything seems to drag you down.
“I promise I will explain everything. And I want you to know that I love you… so much.” She puts emphasis in the last bit. “…And, that you have helped me make the decisions I’ve made.”
That seems to please you and you nod. Whatever it is you trust her.
_ ✽ _
But…the news doesn’t sink well to you. When Ikaris shows up in Australia and breaks the news to everyone a huge argument sparks up. Thena has to leave the place as to not feel triggered and as Gilgamesh leads her outside their home you leave with them. You feel betrayed amongst the many emotions that surge through your mind, and you want to cry yet again. But you stand there in the middle of nowhere with only the sound of Thena’s art clacking together, she sits by a tree with her back to Gilgamesh. And your mind is elsewhere lost in a void. She told him. Of all people it had to be him. And now you understand everything that happened that day.
“She was right all along.” Gilgamesh speaks coming to stand next to you.
“Huh?” You ask confused.
“Thena.” He reveals. “She saw it happening in her episodes. She… remembers.”
You feel sorry for not seeing it before.
“What do you think will happen now?”
“Now, we are going to make a choice… but, whatever Ajak decides, you know?”
“Ikaris made it clear he wants to let it happen. And Kingo as well from what I heard before we left.”
“I’m glad we can discuss it without fighting.”
You think of how he almost killed Ajak.
“He is just waiting.”
“When that happens we will be ready.”
_ ✽ _
That night they sit at the table in a very poorly lit room trying to absorb as many light from the candles. You remain standing behind Sprite’s seat. Ajak has finally spoken directly to all of you with the truth, who she is and her missions all over the universe. Instead of an argument, there is silence.
“We need to stop the emergence.” She declares.
Kingo and Ikaris strongly disagree.
“How?” Of course Sersi asks. She loves the humans more than anything… even more than Ikaris.
“Gilgamesh asked Druig to put me to sleep once.” Thena replies with a distant gaze.
“So I could take a trip to Fiji.”
“Can he do that?” Kingo asks.
“Probably. We don’t want to kill the celestial, I’m guessing. We just want to make time… if I understood correctly.” You speak for the first time.
Ajak looks at you with a yearning look and hope.
“We shouldn’t kill the celestial. I won’t oppose to you, but I draw the line at killing it. Imagine all the lives that would come with the cycle of the birth of a celestial.” Kingo makes his stand clear.
“Agreed.” You reply.
The look Ajak gives you is something that you kind of expected. She looks mortified and her brows forrow. Her gaze becomes distant and she is lost in her thought. Yet, she has to remain in the conversation and you soon notice that you are outnumbered by majority at the moment. You don’t want to forget, and you don’t want to say goodbye. But facing a celestial is not whatever and not a good idea. The thought of being punished for the rest of your immortal robotic lives is not what you want for them… for her.
_ ✽ _
That night as everyone settles for the night in every corner they can find in Gilgamesh and Thena’s home you find yourself once again wide awake. An hour in the darkness with the loud snores of several members you hear someone approaching, and then… light. Ajak stands before you with her palms up in the air as she summons cosmic energy. She motions for you to follow and leads you outside.
“I don’t want to talk.” You coldly reply.
“We must.”
The outside is not as dark as inside, you can see every constellation and the traveling light from space reflect on the red sand. The silhouette of Ajak is mere but a shadow, and her eyes glimmer with a pale glow.
“I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing she says.
“You don’t get to say that.”
“What?”
“It’s not that easy.”
She goes silent and you sigh bringing your hands to your face completely defeated.
“Why him?” You ask softly merely a whisper.
“I needed to tell someone.”
You choke a sob.
“No, hear me out.” She approaches you and takes your hand. “Humanity in this planet is different. I… I had my doubts back in Babylon. I knew back then that this planet was different from the others. Back then I saw all the potential it had, but I was blind to Arishem’s orders. I kept quiet and tried to follow the only path I’ve ever known… what we were designed for. That is until Tenochtitlan, that’s when I began to lose my faith in this mission. I saw all these humans loving and caring for others, I got to see bad and good things. But the good things were enough to make me realize how special they were. I told Ikaris the truth after all of you left as an attempt to have someone to rely on when I was having these doubts. Someone with the same faith to keep me in our reality, to remind me of our mission and someone to owe something. I thought I owed him success, and I knew he felt the same way about following the path. But then, I understood that Arishem’s secret is not mine, and that I could make my own choices. And then you were in my life like no one ever, and I knew right there and then that I had changed too. I want a world where you live and get to keep your memories. I want a world that is capable of love so I can protect our love.” You can’t see her, but you can hear the moment she started crying. She tries to remain strong, but right now she is vulnerable with telling you nothing but the honest truth. She brings your hand to her chest and you can feel it beating faster than usual. She loves you.
“You could’ve told me.” And your voice breaks.
“I couldn’t. I wanted to, but I didn’t want to ruin what we had. Back then, I wanted you to go and live your life without the pain of the world you loved so much coming to a horrible end. You deserved to live happy.”
“What about Ikaris?”
“He was loyal. Not to me, to him.”
You nod. “And I wasn’t.”
“You were loud with your opinions. You created your own rules. I feared that if I told you… I would’ve changed my mind right away.”
“Well, I believe we should continue with the emergence. I-”
“Don’t say that.”
“I don’t want you to face Arishem for that. I can’t stand the thought of remembering you and knowing you are being punished or dead.”
“It won’t be easy, but I have faith we will make it. Y/N, I love you and I want you to remember me like we were.”
You nod and sob. “Fine, I guess I’ll follow you until the end. Whenever that is.”
She lets out a sigh of relief and pulls you closer as she captures your lips with hers before pressing her forehead to yours.
“Don’t say that.”
“Ajak, I love you.” And Ajak smiles. “But, right now… I need to figure out how I feel about all of this.” And Ajak goes silent with a frownd.
“I never thought I’d tell someone other than Ikaris. Y/N, thank you for helping me change. I am standing here with nothing but the honest truth to our family and it is all thanks to you.” She smiles softly and nods you goodbye before turning to leave.
You grab her by the arm and pull her closer. Like two magnets you both go straight for a kiss, and it is passionate and intense. You can feel her so close it’s getting hot, and she tastes like mint and sunrise that it makes you nostalgic for your life at her homestead. But the whole universe is right there with her, and you know you will make it. You know you will be fine. She is no longer the leader that followed orders, she has changed like the universe and became herself. And at this moment you realize that she became a perfect stranger; someone you would love to meet. Two strangers completely in love.
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skylarstarlight · 7 months
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Sob.
Couldn't reblog the original anymore, but Tag game!! Tagged by @tecchous-thicc-buttocks
Picrew
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They didn't really have the ability to make the hair fade to a different color or a lot of purple thingies, but I'm satisfied with the result! It's cute!
I'll also do all of em-
hardcover or paperback // bookstore or library // bookmark or receipt // stand alone or series // nonfiction or fiction // thriller or fantasy // friends to lovers or enemies to lovers // read in bed or read on the couch // read at night or read in the morning // keep pristine or markup // cracked spine or dog ear (Dog ear is just plain barbaric tf)
APPEARANCE
i’m over 5’5”(I am 5'5 and a bit does that count?) // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing (no real preference, it's not by a lot)// i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile (tis the tism) // i am pleased with how i look (smash /j nah I'm like decently happy)// i prefer nike to adidas (what even are brands, I like neither) // i wear baseball hats backwards
HOBBIES AND TALENTS
i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami (the very basic ones)// i prefer movies to tv shows (neither!)// i can execute a perfect somersault (thank you PE classes I hate you with a passion)// i enjoy singing (I do sound like a dying cat tho)// i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends (my very limited bubble, the rest are a chore) // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand (not without a wall tho)
RELATIONSHIP
i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me //i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online
AESTHETICS
i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours (eh?) // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths //autumn is my favourite season (the way none of these really apply to me, sad)
MISCELLANEOUS
i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive manual // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower (bath) // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs
FIVE RANDOM FACTS
Just going to recycle 3 I've used before-
I have broken my pinkie finger because of a towel before. It was like 35° askew it was not pretty (I did not faint, somehow, but it hurt like a bitttccch)
I have low blood pressure and am prone to fainting as a result (No physical activities for me!)
I did a year of Uni Maths (Currently in the exam period) but I plan to go into Graphic Design now
And now 2 original ones:
I won 2 graduation awards at High School Prom Night (I think that's the right one? Idk Belgian school system doesn't quite translate to freedom units) as the only person to even be nominated for 2, and they were the biggest "fuck you"s they had available. They're very much plastic, but they have custom engravings!
I was a finger artist up till a month or so ago (You can probably tell by how my style has finally stabilized)
Tag time! Well... I am anxious, so really whoever wants to can go (I am a coward) ... @mixxdpunch ?
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bonesandthebees · 2 years
Note
No clue if ur the one to ask but what’s ur advice on surviving highschool?
well, I've been through high school so I suppose I'm a decent person to ask, but also I went to a very strange high school that didn't work like a normal school lmao
I suppose what my biggest regret about high school is though is that I didn't reach out to try and make more friends. I had a very limited group of friends in high school, and I wish I had tried to branch out a bit more. of course this isn't an easy thing for everyone, especially considering the kind of school environment you're at. I know that I could've reached out and made more friends if I tried because I wasn't popular by any means, but no one disliked me. I was very much the floater kid who everyone liked well enough but I didn't try to get close with any of my classmates. basically, try not to limit yourself to 1 or 2 friends is my biggest advice? again, this is easier said then done, but try to reach out despite how scary it can be
another thing, unless you live in a small town and plan on never leaving after you graduate, you're literally never gonna see most of the people you go to high school with again. like, i haven't spoken to anyone from my high school in nearly a year, and the last time I did talk to someone we only had a short five minute conversation because we went to the same uni and had a quick chat and never saw each other again. so try not to worry too much about what other people think of you. again, easier said than done, trust me I know. but I swear on my life high school does not matter at all after you graduate. your grades matter for getting accepted into a college, but outside of that, it literally feels so distant once you're out of it. so try to branch out and meet new people, dive headfirst into new interests, and let yourself change.
my last bit of advice relates to the concept of change. high school is literally some of your most formative years. you are going to change so much as a person over those 4 years, and don't be afraid to let that happen. being a teenager is about figuring out who you are, and that's going to shift a lot which is fine! don't lock yourself into one thing or another! dye your hair, wear funky clothes and wacky makeup, try out new pronouns or switch labels on your sexuality as much as you want (in safe environments with people you trust of course). this is the time to experiment with every facet of your identity, so don't be afraid of change. best of luck to you anon <3
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gabriel-shutterson · 2 years
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Here it is. I’m so sorry.
Griffin: Grew up with no pigment
White as snow is
Eyes red as roses
All: Albino
Griffin: Hated how I looked, but who woulda known that
Once I was grown that
All: It all would go
Oooh hooo
Griffin: Can’t see my face
All: Students
Griffin: Called me a disgrace
All: Ooh hoo
Griffin: How does it taste?
Graduating with all B’s while you can’t see me?
I started with cloths, ha, don’t get lost
This might be too much for your tiny little brain
Worked like a charm, but it did daddy harm
And he killed himself— oh, what a shame
All: Oooh hoo
Griffin: I just stole his cash
All: Ooh hoo
Griffin: Who needs a dad?
All: Ooh hoo
Griffin: Then I tested on a cat
What a thrilling find, too bad he wasn’t mine
All: Uh oh
Griffin: Here we go
All: You stole someone’s kitty?
Griffin: Couldn’t just buy one; arson made me busy
All: What???
Griffin: Shut your face!
All: You burnt down the place?
Griffin: Well, what was I meant to do???
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said
Jackassery is just too fun
Don’t worry, don’t worry, you can’t see my head
Or my laughing ass, when all’s done
Get out of my hair before I share my reign of terror
Can’t see if I’m sorry ‘bout what I said
Or see my head
Tested on me, and now you can’t see
Any part of me from head to toe
Broke into a store room
But a house had more room
Kicked a man out his door soon
The house was mine
All: Oooh hoo
Griffin: Practically a freebie
All: Ooh hoo
Griffin: Crime’s so easy
All: Ooh hoo
Griffin: My next meal is cheesy
While that houseowner hag is tied up in a bag
All: Uh oh
Griffin: Here we go
All: You tied someone up?
Griffin: It wasn’t the intention, but I guess we’re stuck!
All: Tying people up is pretty kinky, dude
Griffin: Mate, what was I meant to do?
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said
Jackassery is just too fun
Don’t worry, don’t worry, you can’t see my head
Or my laughing ass, when all’s done
Get out of my hair before I share my reign of terror
Can’t see if I’m sorry ‘bout what I said
Or see my head
Found me an assistant, turns out he’s a piss man
He’s not worth the risk, man, Marvel’s his name
He’s constantly confused and he has no use and took my books and zoomed, man
Hella lame
(He was hungry), my friendship didn’t fill him
(All I) did was try to kill him
(One survived) and it was still him
I’d fuck up this guy if I didn’t have to die
Here’s how it all went down
All alone, I go find an old colleague of mine
Arthur Kemp, he’s called, from my old Uni
He lets me stay, and things start to seem okay, and I start to speak
I tell him my story, but he’s not all there
I leave out no details, but he doesn’t seem to care
“Be my assistant?” He says yes and nods
And then it turns out that he called the cops
All: Uh oh
Griffin: Here we go
All: He put you in your place?
Griffin: And now I’m on a wild goose chase
All: Oh shit
Griffin: And then they all shot me!
(They got me!)
But what was I meant to do?
Like what was I meant to do?
No really, what was I meant to do?
Like, they literally shot and killed me! I didn’t do much more than murder!
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said
Jackassery is just too fun
Don’t worry, don’t worry, you can’t see my head
Or my laughing ass, when all’s done
Get out of my hair before I share my reign of terror
Can’t see if I’m sorry ‘bout what I said
(Can’t see if he’s sorry ‘bout what he said)
Can’t see if I’m sorry ‘bout what I said
Or see my head
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ranjxtul · 1 year
Text
cw: mention of self harm, si, abuse and mental illness
i don’t know why i’m doing this, maybe it’s because we’ve changed so much and we’re finally learning how to be alive again, that there’s more to life than pain, so now we actually sort of want to be alive. but, this is to 14 year old me, specifically on january 1 2016.
january first, you started cutting because of the words spat at us by someone supposed to love us unconditionally. i know you didn’t want to live, that we felt crushed. i acknowledge your pain, we were in a rough situation far too young. but i’m here to say almost 7 years later, a lot has changed.
you aren’t ‘friends’ with that abusive person anymore, we’re a third year in uni and have some lovely friends who actually care. you aren’t unlovable. our research professor came to see the show we were just in and she hugged us with the love of a parental figure and told us how proud she was. we have a girlfriend who’s the light of our life. in fact, we’re moving to australia next year for grad school to be with them. we’ve been together a little over two years.
you aren’t useless or untalented. we just made our main stage debut in college despite what everyone said in high school about our talent. we do voice lessons still with someone who believes in us completely. we just got funded to spend our summer doing neuroendocrinology research and we’re soon going to be sending a paper in for peer review so soon we’ll be a published author. we also just got invited to develop a queer piece of theatre.
you’ll learn to speak out about who you are and you’ll educate yourself to be the advocate you want. you’ll escape.
we still struggle though. we still cut sometimes but i don’t blame you, it was your way of surviving. we have DID and america is trying to exterminate us for being trans and we’ve been in therapy for years now trying to sort out everything, which by the way is far more complicated than you think.
you’ll find out that we’re disabled physically and that we’re autistic but we love it. we’re done apologising. we still have a lot of body image issues and we still breakdown when things get bad, and we’re still scared, but we’re trying.
you’ll lose most of your high school friends but maybe it’s for the better. only one of them really loved you for you. eventually you’ll begin to heal from the trauma of highschool and being your classmates’ punching bag. we’re working on it. you’ll learn to love what you love unabashedly after graduating. we love taylor swift and ttrpgs and ethel cain and social advocacy and science.
you technically aren’t me, because of the DID thing, but you’re somewhere in the head and you did what you could.
sometimes it’s hard to not blame you, but i don’t. i forgive you. you did everything you could to survive and for that i’m grateful.
we’re trying to learn to love being us, existing and thriving. we’re trying to forgive ourselves but we forgive you. sometimes all of this writing doesn’t ring true but we’re trying
love, alicent, the future host
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rupatsuan · 1 year
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Hey Rupa, how you doing? Is it okay for us to know a lil bit more about you? Like what you do or what you like, what´s your job like, if you study something or if you have something like a dream or thing that you really want to do. Is there something you are working towards nowadays? Do you have pets? What is your favourite animal? And colour? Maybe some of these have been mentioned but can´t seem to find them lol. Oh and how are the new tablet and desk working out for you? Lova ya♥
Hi, the world is crazy right now but I'm doing fine, hope you're fine as well dear anon.
Well, I think that it's okay to know a lil bit more about me lmao I just think that no one cares except for you, anon! I'm just a background potato here, my ocs are the stars. I'm just a friendly narrator behind the curtains. But it's okay and if you want (well I see that you do want) I can answer your questions haha (just skip this the rest of yall and keep on scrollin' if you're not interested lmao)
What I do? I just try to survive, my days are similar to each other and boring but I'm a slow no-life turtle potato homebody so it's okay
What I like? Peace and quiet dear anon. Stability and lack of changes. I like when my days look the same. I like to have everything planned and in order. I like rainy days. I love autumn and winter just like Jun. I like to draw (surprise!). I love to read books, my living room is just one big library. I like when I don't have to leave my apartment lmao. I like metal music, I like true crime documentaries and cheese
My job? I'm a content writer (let's say) for a xxx company like in a yAoI manga but I work from home full time (did I say that I love when I don't have to leave my apartment? Oh yes I did)
I don't study anymore, I graduated from my uni long time ago, I'm probably older than you think (but like not a rotten senile potato yet it's not that bad) but oh good god how I wish I was a student again
A dream? I'd love to see more people getting to know my boys (and girl). That's my dream. I'd like to get better at drawing too. My dream is also for peace in this world because like fuck, we're going downhill. I also would love to travel in time, speak all the languages of the world and fly. Any idea where to find a magic lamp?
Nowadays I work towards surviving with my fucked up mental and physical health. I work towards getting better at my art, making content faster, and getting more tattoos. Yeah, tats are cool
A pet? I have a lovely, cuddly, fluffy 12-year old Persian cat. She's the bestest, the sweetest and the goodest girl. She's better than people. She's my entire world, I spoil her and I'd kill for her
Yes, my fav animal is definitely a cat, my cat to be precise. But I also love horses, I can't ride them (but I did once or twice in a lifetime lmao) but they're majestic and the most beautiful. I'm in love with them to the point that when I started drawing as a very very smol potat, before I learned how to draw people I learned (well at least I believed I learned) how to draw horses. I no longer can lmao (I don't think so I just no longer draw them) but horse doodles were present everywhere on every piece of paper in the house. I plan to get a horse tattoo on my right hand to commemorate that passion (I'm right-handed by the way, boring)
My favourite colour is black. I just almost wear black and nothing else 8D I think this is what's left of my metalhead and goth phase. I still am a metalhead though (and a goth at heart). So basically once I open my wardrobe I have to differentiate stuff by texture or the level of blackness lmao, but recently Jun inspired me to like beige, brown and green. I love vertical stripes. Recently, I got myself a striped brown-black jacket and I love it! In overall, I really like fashion, street goth ninja/tech style to be precise.
The new tablet is working fine, I'm still in the process of figuring it out (pressure thing is the hardest to adjust, sometimes it's okay but I also sometimes get frustrated about it cause it's not the exact same setting I'm used to and uh it's complicated). As for the desk, it's a true game changer. Now everything fits here and I can sit comfortably. Thank you for remembering about that, I would never think that someone remembered about my environmental changes!
Well I think that's it. If you have any other questions you know what to do. Thank you for asking dear anon I hope my answers aren't too weird hahah, oh and also - I'm sorry for the lack of Sunday recommendations. I read a lot of BL mangas but I always forget to make notes or something to recommend them later, I'll do my best to fix that. Love you too!
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lapeaudelamemoire · 1 year
Text
Wrote my one-page summary of academic achievements etc. for the reference request my temp supervisor asked for.
In writing these cover letters or the like I am always dumbfounded by how little it accommodates for trauma or independent study. I have an unni (older female Korean friend) who, because of her C-PTSD, is unable to continue studying despite greatly wanting to, and has trouble managing to continue her life just in day-to-day life. I find it so hard to 'sell' myself when there are huge gaps of years in my life where I have been able to do little more than struggle through what I don't know how to 'market' or 'package/present as a strength' in these academic or professional arenas. When you ask for my life experience so you can write me a reference, what do I write? 'Survived multiple sexual assaults and rapes'? 'Daily attempt to overcome my PTSD as a result of a near-deportation experience'? Do people understand how much or how many years these things can debilitate you?
Like I know plenty of people walk around with these things having happened to them and still somehow function while going to school and whatnot, but I couldn't, and still have trouble doing so. I remember being coaxed to go back to school by my ex-best friend in secondary school after all of that had happened in my teenage years, but I just couldn't. How do I explain the black hole fog that has consumed me for so many years while trying to sell myself as a functioning, profitable member of society?
Some of us die after things like these happen. I don't know how to say my greatest achievement is still being here in this sort of academic context, or that of my life experiences these are huge and heavy but I got through them and these are what have shaped and continue to shape me, and are the lion's share of what has taken up my life. If I add them up the number of years that these have taken up number at least half a decade (literally just counting one event/per year).
And I did work some, just very early on - Benjamin Button'ed the whole thing. Worked at 15 (does that count as child labour lmao), worked till I was 17/18. I haven't done volunteer work or busted my ass getting a sparkling CV because for most of that time I have just been trying to survive (mostly done while and through reading/studying, to make sense of it, etc.). 14 - dropped out of school bc of what happened at 13 (first sexual assault). 15 - second sexual assault. Still went to intern at an international magazine press. 16 - third sexual assault. Started working as a shop assistant. Still finished my iGCSEs. 17 - sexual harassment at work while at a bar/bistro, went on to do waitressing elsewhere instead. 18 - went to Norway to study and did that full-time for 2 years. (Wanted to work but couldn't find a job since I didn't speak Norwegian fluently enough. Had to be counselled about this, actually.) Graduated at 20. Went on gap year at 21 while actually also doing Open Uni - then had that near-deportation experience. Immediately went into researching unis anyway at 22, only that because of uni start times and visas I didn't start till I was 23. Learned Polish by myself in that time. Studied full-time without a job because if I can focus on just that, why not? And I graduated anyway, having finished my coursework early in 2.5 years but the graduation ceremony was after summer hols. Started this degree at 26. Will finish this year after 1.5 years, only extended beyond the one year because of their fuck-up (which they acknowledged!) in a unit my first term. The only pauses I've had between studying were because of start times. And if we didn't have to work, would we? Is it not alright to spend the time trying to make some sense of grief, or to study on your own? If someone said to me their greatest achievements included recovering from PTSD once after the things that happened to me in my adolescence that would be the most important thing I would note.
So much of my life and what I've really done and profited from have not been done watched by anyone or institutions. All the years I spent reading and studying by myself on things that I rarely find place to talk about. If I add up the years I've done plenty in studying - I just never got a degree for any of it.
It's not like I've done nothing. I just haven't done it societally-conventionally. I don't want to have be 'forgiven' for not making myself work when I didn't and don't have the bandwidth for it. Isn't it called studying full-time? Why am I supposed to also work on the side? Why can I not study by myself in that time on the side (which is what I have been doing)? Why do I feel ashamed or this need to explain myself? Fuck.
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baekhvuns · 2 months
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SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING 😭😭😭😭 everytime I wanted to shoot you an ask I was like "I wanna write a longer message, so let me do it later" and yeah later turned out to be a looooot later WTF MY LAST MESSAGE WAS IN THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST 😮😮😮😮 how and when... time is not real seriously it's insane. What did you think happened to me? 😅
Lewis said NEVER LET THEM KNOW YOUR NEXT MOVE, he is craaaaazy. Hopefully it'll end well for him, but the fuck is he oooooon. My friend needs to be strong, keeping her in my thoughts & prayers, cause she DOES NOT fuck with Ferrari at all. Imagine if I had to support Barca or Tottenham 😅 Damn the news about Klopp shocked me, Liverpool is doing so well, I guess it's better to leave when you're still successful. It's a shame he feels burnt out, but I get him
Omg, graduation, my child Baeksussy is growing so fast! You'll be free from your Avocado Uni soon, excited, nervous?
Stop not the rom coms and thinking about me ahshsjshajaja, romance is not dead <3 Any interesting WIPs? I haven't read fanfiction in 100 years, actually I haven't read much at all, my brain is all rotten 🙃
I hope 2024 is better for everyone, but I don't have high hopes, lmao. I just wanna survive winter, still trying to beat seasonal depression before I enter my allergy era. I spent my birthday as well as NYE SICK AND ON MY PERIOD BECAUSE IT CAME A WEEK LATE.
Yeah the job in Seoul highkey scares me cause I haven't worked full time like that in a long time, but I need a lot of money and it can actually help me a lot. I'm trying to do something more with my life, but idk if I'll manage, I don't smoke nor drink anymore so how am I gonna cope??? The good side is that I'm getting a really nice apartment and a car too from the company 😌
Meeting Yuta again would be an achievement, meanwhile I saw some other NCT members and Mr Xiaojun like 5 times 😭 when I finally got an opportunity to talk to him he signed my pc <3 I alsl came across Changbin, Yeonjun and Dino once, and Itzy while they were filming something. I went to bunch of NCT concerts in the past few months, I still have more to attend including Ten's con FINALLY TEN SOLO!!! I also saw SVT, SKZ and a few smaller groups, my last one was Everglow a few days ago <3
I miss being a massive Shinestar, there were a few anniversaries of my fan calls with him recently and I got sentimental. But yeah I don't speak to that many hardcore Atinys anymore so I'm not up to date with Atz. It's pretty sad, but maybe it'll change in the future. On the other hand I prefer to be more casual. Casual... meanwhile I gave so much fucking money to SM IT'S SICKKKK. I enjoy kpop music-wise still, but you're right something is a bit off lately...
In my defense, hear me out: I've only spent like 3 days in Vancouver! I barely registered what was happening, cause my friend and I were helping her friend who was giving birth 😭😭😭 she was not supposed to give birth at that time 😬. So if you by any chance were also birthing a child at BC Women's Hospital then perhaps we met! I also remember going to a food place called The Naam I believe as well as one really good, yet tiny Vietnamese vegan one. Oh and I visited a university, not yours though, but imagine agsjdhsjsjajddjskh
But okay I deserve the lashings! So I'll be your euro guide once you visit the old continent 💜 - DV 💖
i responded to this ask FOUR times 😭😭😭 & gave up bc it won’t load (this ask from u is still so surreal)
SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING 😭😭😭😭 everytime I wanted to shoot you an ask I was like "I wanna write a longer message, so let me do it later" and yeah later turned out to be a looooot later WTF MY LAST MESSAGE WAS IN THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST 😮😮😮😮 how and when... time is not real seriously it's insane. What did you think happened to me? 😅
6 MONTHS OF NOTHING I THOUGHT U WERE NEVER COMING BACK 😭😭😭😭 i actually genuinely thought something must’ve happened at your travel bc the last time u messaged me u said you were either hiking or in a jungle so no service or something and when u stopped responding i was like “omg the forest got to anon” 😭😭😭
Lewis said NEVER LET THEM KNOW YOUR NEXT MOVE, he is craaaaazy. Hopefully it'll end well for him, but the fuck is he oooooon. My friend needs to be strong, keeping her in my thoughts & prayers, cause she DOES NOT fuck with Ferrari at all. Imagine if I had to support Barca or Tottenham 😅 Damn the news about Klopp shocked me, Liverpool is doing so well, I guess it's better to leave when you're still successful. It's a shame he feels burnt out, but I get him
he REALLY BE LIKE THAT ???? hoping he gets his 8th, id celebrate like i won it,,, but it also makes me think— this year abu dhabi would be the last time he’d driver as a merc driver, goes to ferarri w/ 100 million a year,,, possible free cars from ferarri -> retirement soon,,, THIS IS TOO MUCH MR MERCEDES U CANT GO 😭😭 LMFAOOO i cannot wait for ur friend to turn up in all red apparel ready for a therapy session, she a real tifosi LMAOOOOO no fr 10 years is a long time i get his situation as well + focusing more on his family, it would be crazy if he went to barca id probably die
this is so accurate
wait omg did u also hear about what horner might have done 😀 and the fact that he and newey have a contract where if one leaves, the other follows = which in my delusional tifosi mind can only say NEWRY TO FERARRI 2024/2025 FERARRI WDC HAMILTON 8TH TITLE LECLERC FIRST TIME WDC
Omg, graduation, my child Baeksussy is growing so fast! You'll be free from your Avocado Uni soon, excited, nervous?
no really! a little TOO fast everything’s a lil too fast 😭😭 free from avocado 😭😭 iM very nervous actually but i can’t wait to leave it so i don’t have to worry about assignments being due 8am in the morning or having any classes at that, gonna get a few tats and enter the real world 😭😭😭 this uni took years off my life
Stop not the rom coms and thinking about me ahshsjshajaja, romance is not dead <3 Any interesting WIPs? I haven't read fanfiction in 100 years, actually I haven't read much at all, my brain is all rotten 🙃
romance is not but i may be soon fbkafjak nO NONE WIPS 😭😭 just dreams that would seem very real if i were to convert into a wip,, im on the same boat as u, i just stopped reading (also probably bc so many authors also left) i read like those older ones once in a while to feel something
I hope 2024 is better for everyone, but I don't have high hopes, lmao. I just wanna survive winter, still trying to beat seasonal depression before I enter my allergy era. I spent my birthday as well as NYE SICK AND ON MY PERIOD BECAUSE IT CAME A WEEK LATE.
JCJCKCJCKC STOP THATS THE FUCKING WORST (also u might hAVE recently had ur birthday so happy belated birthday!!!!) do u ever have high hopes and then those hopes just fall to the pits of the earth <3
Yeah the job in Seoul highkey scares me cause I haven't worked full time like that in a long time, but I need a lot of money and it can actually help me a lot. I'm trying to do something more with my life, but idk if I'll manage, I don't smoke nor drink anymore so how am I gonna cope??? The good side is that I'm getting a really nice apartment and a car too from the company 😌
hopefully this job gives u loads of moolah $$ so u can travel to more places!! you’re going to sk and the drinking culture there anon 😭😭 them bosses would be pissed if you didn’t drink bfwmdbwk OH???? A CAR AND AN APART??? OKAY THIS IS BIG GIRL MONEY AND A BIG GIRL JOB WOAH ANON WHERE TF ARE U WORKING 🤚🏻 MF SAMSUNG???
Meeting Yuta again would be an achievement, meanwhile I saw some other NCT members and Mr Xiaojun like 5 times 😭 when I finally got an opportunity to talk to him he signed my pc <3 I alsl came across Changbin, Yeonjun and Dino once, and Itzy while they were filming something. I went to bunch of NCT concerts in the past few months, I still have more to attend including Ten's con FINALLY TEN SOLO!!! I also saw SVT, SKZ and a few smaller groups, my last one was Everglow a few days ago <3
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I miss being a massive Shinestar, there were a few anniversaries of my fan calls with him recently and I got sentimental. But yeah I don't speak to that many hardcore Atinys anymore so I'm not up to date with Atz. It's pretty sad, but maybe it'll change in the future. On the other hand I prefer to be more casual. Casual... meanwhile I gave so much fucking money to SM IT'S SICKKKK. I enjoy kpop music-wise still, but you're right something is a bit off lately...
this entire thing ‼️100% i have a few friends who i listen to the albums with when they drop one, engage in discussions abt the song choices and then go to the concerts just not a whole content type of person anymore idk if they’re doing some interviews or shows but i find out about it like a while later bc im just so out of the loop,, LMFAOOOO TO SM FHKWHDKWHDKW SM DOWNFALL HAPPENINGG something really is! idk maybe it’s like the star factor groups once used to have that’s just not existent as much? heard about teddy’s new gg & it looks very promising lots of star factors and an actual nepo baby but it’s likely not gonna be meeting up to the expectations
In my defense, hear me out: I've only spent like 3 days in Vancouver! I barely registered what was happening, cause my friend and I were helping her friend who was giving birth 😭😭😭 she was not supposed to give birth at that time 😬. So if you by any chance were also birthing a child at BC Women's Hospital then perhaps we met! I also remember going to a food place called The Naam I believe as well as one really good, yet tiny Vietnamese vegan one. Oh and I visited a university, not yours though, but imagine agsjdhsjsjajddjskh
anon you gotta be fucking kidding me right now YOU WERE 15 MINUTES AWAY FROM ME IM GONNA ANBFMWFHWKDW COMBUST GET THE FUCK OUT ???? I WAS JCJCKCJ RIGHT MF THERE 🔫 omg is the friend okay?? the baby??? birthing a child (added to ur resume),, YOU WENT TO NAAM??? ITS SOO GOOD ISNT IT!!! i will give u my step (it’s like u add a bunch of restaurants or places you’ve been to, kind like a itinerary) account for foods in canada OR better yet u give me urs so i can be prepared 🫡
u must’ve visited the rival university, fuck them actually, it’s time u come to my jail or a university with its brutalism architecture <3 im gonna assume u went to the bc’s uni which sucks ass in my opinion, avocado uni was and is >>>> sorry like imagine u come to my uni and walk past me and then have the audacity to send me an ask “hey baek sussy i went to ur uni today!” AND I LOSE MY SHIT
But okay I deserve the lashings! So I'll be your euro guide once you visit the old continent 💜 - DV 💖
you absolutely do,, absolutely i cannot wait!! i might even go twice that year! AND GIVE U YOUR LASHINGS THERE it would be really funny if u take me to spain and it’s an el classico night..
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