#granted we wont be getting out of the car

[ravenromanova]

Mommy

Pairings: Milf Wanda x Female reader

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT 18!! ONLY!!! Mommy kink, Oral, Fingering, Legal age gap, MOMMY WANDA!!!!! Reader and Wanda get caught. DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDERAGE!!!!!

Masterlist - Send me requests!!!!

~

You knew it was wrong to be looking at your best friends mom the way you were. But honestly who could blame you when she looked the way she looked. Wanda was an enigma and she had you in a complete trance whenever you saw her. And luckily for you, you saw her quite often since you were besties with her twin boys. So you always got to see the red headed woman which was a blessing and a curse.

Your crush on Wanda started developing your senior year of high school. Billy and Tommy had just transferred from westview to the small town of green lake in upstate new york. Which is where they met you. And in a matter of days you and the boys were inseparable and did everything together. So when they had invited you over to their house for the first time you happily agreed.

But when you had stepped into the house and saw the woman they called mom your heart nearly stopped. She was beautiful and you almost melted at the sound of her voice when she introduced herself. That day was the start of your crush on Wanda maximoff. And as the time went on and you grew closer with the boys you also grew closer with her.

It was weird at first being close with Wanda but eventually you thought of her as one of you friends. You learned a lot about her, how her husband and the boys father left them a few years ago, she talked to you about her family and where she came from. And for some reason you felt a need to protect her after everything she told her about her past.

That brings us to now. Spring break of your freshman year of college. You went to a little college that was a couple of hours away from from green lake so luckily you were able to go home for the week. Unfortunately you didn’t have any home to go to so the boys told you just to come to theirs and that you’ll stay with them. At first you were a little hesitant because of your crush on their mother but soon agreed due to the lack of places to go.

So once you drove back into town you headed straight for the Maximoff residence. And when you pulled up to the red bricked house your heart started to beat a little faster. You got out of the car and grabbed your bag before walking up the few steps in front of the house.

You waited a few moments after you knocked on the red door. And surprisingly you weren’t met with the sight of Billy or Tommy. It was Wanda who opened the door with her signature bright smile.

“Y/n darling youre back. Oh i missed you darling!” She greeted happily and engulfed you in a tight hug.

“Hi Wanda. I-I missed you too” You said returning the hug with the same amount of passion. Her perfume filled yours senses and damn near brought you to your knees.

“Come in, the boys aren’t home right now they went to their uncles for the night… im assuming they forgot you were coming today” Wanda shook her head at the thought of her boys forgetting about you.

“It’s okay i wont hold it against them….this time” She laughed a little before she grabbed your bag for you and lead you inside.

“Make yourself comfortable and I’ll make you some tea and then we can catch up” Her voice called out to you as she walked into the kitchen. You did as you were told and sat on the comfortable couch and waited for her to return.

A few minutes later Wanda came back into the living room with two mugs in her hand and handed you one before sitting down. She then sat next to you and her thigh brushed against yours causing you to choke a little.

Unbeknownst to you Wanda had a whole plan for the night. She had told the boys to go to Pietros for the night so she could spend time with you. Granted the twins were confused as to why since you were coming into town but all she said was that he needed them for something. So they left for the night and thats when her plan was put in motion.

Wanda has had a little crush on you for a little bit now. She knew it was wrong to be looking at you the way she did but she couldn’t help it. When she had met you a few months after your eighteenth birthday when the boys had introduced you two she was enamored. So she waited, built up the tension for years hoping you’d make a move but you never did. And quite frankly she had enough she needed you and now was the time.

“So how’s college darling?” Wanda asked as she slowly sipped her tea while looking into your eyes.

“It’s okay i took on a bigger class load than i should’ve” You cringed thinking about all the homework you had almost daily.

“Well youre a smart girl darling im sure it’ll get easier as the time goes on” Wandas hand landed on your thigh making your heart speed up and your face heat up from her praise.

“I mean i know i can handle it. But all the work doesn’t leave time for anything other than just that” She nodded in understanding and bit her lip as she listened.

“So you dont have a girlfriend or anything?” Her question caught you off guard and you started coughing on your tea.

“Uh no i have absolutely no luck in that department” You chuckled dryly.

Wanda smiled when you admitted you were single. She scooted a little closer to you and placed her hand on your thigh. “Why is that darling? I’m sure you have plenty of girls falling at your feet” You looked at her hand on your thigh and almost passed away.

“I- uh just dont find anyone that interesting” You said honestly causing the older woman to smirk.

“Well what about me? Do you find me interesting darling?” She asked and you swore she was trying to kill you.

“I find you very interesting Wanda” You choke out as she moves her hand higher. Wanda moves even closer to you and brought her face within inches of yours.

“Wanda… w-what are you doing” Wanda smiled at your question before she crashed her lips into yours. She gave you no time to think as she straddled your lap not breaking the kiss.

You moaned a little in her mouth at the taste of her. She tasted like tea and mint and you couldn’t get enough. Your hands found their way to her hips and you held on tightly almost as if you’d let go shed disappear.

“I need you darling” She husked in your ear. You nodded your head knowing that if you tried to speak your voice would fail you. Wanda smiled and started to kiss down your neck and let her hands find the them of your shirt. She wasted no time in removing your shirt and bra.

“Wanda please” You begged the redhead who smiled and wrapped her lips around one of your nipples. Her other hand went to your other one and started tugging on it making you moan and mewl bin response.

“You sound so pretty malysh” She praised you and your heart couldn’t help but swell at the nickname she gave you in her mother tongue.

“I-I need you Wanda” You continued to beg as your grip on her hips became tighter.

“What do you need baby? What do you need mommy to do” She feigned confusion making you groan a little.

“I need you to fuck me mommy” Wanda was more than pleased with your words and she slowly slid off you body and settled between your thighs on the floor.

Her hands teased the hem of you pants and you threw your head back. She was barely touching you but yet you were reeling. After a few minutes of her kissing your stomach and softly caressing your skin she finally took off your pants. Her fingers ran over your pantie covered pussy making a wet patch grow where you needed her the most.

“Ive wanted to do this for so long pretty girl” She kisses your clothed clit before she slides your panties off leaving you bare in front of her.

“Please” You moan as your hands find their way to her hair. Wanda kisses your inner thigh before she dives in and starts licking your clit.

“Oh my god mommy” You pretty much screech at the contact. The feeling of her warm tongue circling around your clit makes you preen. Wanda moans at the taste of you knowing that she’s now addicted.

“M-More” You plead needing more stimulation. Wanda seems to know exactly what you need and shoves two of her nimble fingers into your aching hole.

“Like that baby?” She asked with a smirk on her face as she hit your g-spot making you mewl.

“J-Just like that mommy oh god” You moan feeling your orgasm building up. It’s in this moment you know that you ruined for any other woman and you will never be able to cum without Wanda again.

“Cum for me babygirl come on give it to mommy” She keeps thrusting her fingers in you hitting all the right spots. Your walls clench around her fingers and your back arches off the couch.

“OH FUCK!” You scream as your orgasm crashes through you. Wanda keeps thrusting at a slow pace helping you ride out your high before she pulls out of you. Once she pulls out she licks her fingers clean and smiles before coming back up to your face.

“You’re amazing malysh” She praised bringing you in for a sloppy kiss.

“Mmm thank you mommy” You respond bashfully feeling another wave of arousal course through you when she leaves a hickey on your neck.

You thread your fingers in her hair and bring her back for another kiss which she gladly reciprocates. The two of you get so lost in each other that you didn’t hear the door open.

“Hey mom we’re ho- OH MY GOD!” Billy and Tommy scream as they enter the living room and see their best friend naked on the couch with their mother on top of her.

“Fuck” You mutter as you try to find your clothes which are scattered across the floor.

“We are just gonna go back to pietros…” Tommy says slowly backing out of the house with Billy in suite not wanting to have this discussion right now or ever.

You and Wanda both look at each other stunned before you both break out in to laughter.

“We should’ve taken it to the bedroom” You say in between giggles. Wanda nods her head giggling not being able to form words. After a few seconds she stands up and picks you up by your thighs and takes you to her room for round two.

~The end~

p.s. i love mommy Wanda.

#ravenromanova #wanda maximoff #marvel x reader #wanda x reader #wanda x reader smut #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda maximoff x female reader smut #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda marvel #mommy wanda #the scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch

[lynlyndoll]

I wish

genre: fluff, angst, comfort, neighbor au, friends to crushes to strangers to lovers

pair: bangchan x fem!reader

summary: You've always wished for things that never happened, or at least, that's what you thought. The whole theory you made about not getting what you truly wished for was ended when your biggest wish got granted. The one of having the one you love next to you.

word count: 4k

lyn's note: hello guys! oh my, i've missed writing and publishing actual fics here :)) so here is the first part of the event, i hope you guys will like it! please reblog/like if you like this, thank you!!!

8 days for Christmas masterlist

“I wish… I wish…” you kept saying in your parents’ car, watching out the window at the white scenery displayed outside. You were in the process of moving away from your old house because of your dad’s new job - something that you disliked with your whole heart. Not only that you were moving away from your best friends, but the move came during Christmas time - your favorite time of the year, that now has been fogged with sad thoughts of leaving your favorite people. “I wish we wouldn’t have moved.” You scoff, continuing your idea. Your parents look at you, your mom slightly smiling.

“Everything’s going to be fine, Y/N… You’ll see! You love Christmas! Look how much snow we have!” She chuckles, making you look at her and sigh.

You, indeed, loved snow - a factor that indeed maybe made you be more positive about the move, since during winter, at your old place, snow rarely came. You slowly smiled, however, still trying to keep your sad face on. 

You get out of the car and the first thing you do is breathe in the cold air that is brushing over your skin. You smile at the feeling, a little giggle escaping your lips. Looking around, you see a little boy smiling at you, waving his little hand a little after you locked eyes with him. You wave back, which encourages the boy to come closer.

“Hi!” The boy says and you reciprocate the greeting. “You're new, right? I stay just across the street - wait you saw that already… Uhm, if you need some help, I can help you! And my family will, as well! I’m Chan, by the way! Chan Bahng!”

“I’m Y/N…” you shyly say. “Y/N Y/LN. And thank you…” You smile.

Your dad then calls you to help him, interrupting the small interaction between you and the boy, named Chan. You go inside the house to help your parents move in, getting box after box from the moving truck. 

“Who’s the boy?” Your mom asks you, as the work is finally done. “He seems nice.”

“He’s Chan. Chan Bahng. His family lives just across the street.” You smile thinking at the boy. Your mom smiles as well.

“Then, if they are our new neighbors, we should invite them to dinner, after we finish moving this mess.” She says, chuckling.

Next time you see Chan is at school, in the hallways. 

“Hi, Y/N!” He says, happily. “How have you been? How's the moving? Still don’t need my strong arms?” He jokes, showing his arms as if he had big muscles, making you laugh.

“Thanks, Chan, but we've almost finished! And I've been… I guess, fine? I still miss my friends and the time isn't making it better.” You sigh, thinking about the Christmas you spent with your friends, knowing that this year’s Christmas wont have its special guests around the Christmass tree.

“Yeah, I think I understand the feeling. I also love Christmas and I'm sure it must be hard for you… But still, you have me!” He smiles, taking your hand and running along the corridors till he finds the door that leads to the school’s backyard, which was full of snow. You smile and follow him outside, running around and throwing snowballs at each other.

That night, your family got an invitation for Christmas from the Bahngs. You smiled, remembering what happened during school hours. Your family accepted the invitation, which made you radiate happiness. 

The Christmas parties became an annual tradition for your and his families, each year being spent either at your house or his house. You grew up with him being your perfect and funny neighbor, the one that you could always count on for saving the day. A tradition became decorating each other’s house in the last week before Christmas, ending each day with a Christmas movie while drinking your favorite hot chocolate. Many other traditions were made with him, more than half of your special memories being filled with him. 

Every year, the school organized a Christmas party for the seniors - and now, it was your turn as well to participate. As much as you loved the idea of going to the school’s party, you knew that there weren't many people interested in the idea of going with you. In fact, you knew that actually no person would want to go with you. No person, except - you hoped - Chan. Chan was always there for you, always ready to help, so why not ask him. Sure, you hoped you’d be the one asked out for the party, but after all, the question itself wasn't a big deal, right? 

You prepared everything, so, with the help of your few friends, the question would be perfect. A banner that you made with your girl best friend was hung, your friends were already making Chan walk up to you and your hands were sweaty from the nervousness. But, afterall, he is Chan, right? He wouldn't say no, right?

As he enters the room you specially occupied for the question, his eyes land on you. Your smile is bright as you ask your question. He smiles as well, although, a little bit awkwardly.

“Y/N… as much as I’d want to… I already asked Sana and she said yes.” He says, trying not to upset you. In fact, now you realize how stupid you must've been. You've always known that Chan always liked Sana - nothing new or nothing to bother you. You slightly smile, muttering a “Good job!” and a “Sorry for asking.” as you walk out the room. He tries to follow you, but your friends stop him - they knew you wanted to be alone.

You, indeed, wanted to be left alone, swallowing your tears as you realized that not even your best friend, the boy you've known since you were six years old, the boy who would've done anything for you, didn't want to go with you. Sure, you knew that you were probably too egoistic to think that he'd drop everything for you, but still, you couldn't stop feeling sad that the one person you truly felt connected to, wasn't there for you.

You decided not to bother over the fact that he went to the Christmas party without you. You also decided not to bother when Sana and him started going out together, as a couple, and he hasn't had any time for you as well. You decided not to bother over the fact that he went to the prom, without you again, making you stay at home while eating ice cream and tears mixing with the hiccups you got. Okay, maybe you were indeed upset. Maybe you missed your best friend. So what? You were okay with him dating, afterall, it was a normal thing to do at your age - not that you had part of it. To be completely honest, you haven't had your first kiss yet, but hey! What’s the big deal, right? 

“I wish… I wish he’d fucking see.” you sigh. Yes, you wish he’d see that you may care about him more than you'd care for a friend, youd even wish he’d acknowledge it, even if it would mean that he refuses you. At least, that way, you would accept that you have no chance with him. 

Even if you were still thinking about your crush on Chan, you decided to try and have some fun without him. So, when you got asked out for the first time, you immediately accepted. Not only because you were desperate to get Chan off your mind, but also because the boy who asked you out wasn’t too bad. In fact, he was a fun person to be with, attentive and caring. Plus, he was also pretty. His name - Taehyung - was pretty as well, it fitted him. 

You both went to a few dates together and you soon - almost - forgot about the Chan situation. Sadly, both of you parted away from each other, but you didn't have time to notice that. He tried, indeed, to talk to you, after Sana and him broke up. But you were always with Taehyung, which always brought you joy. 

That summer was the summer you parted ways for college as well. You started going to the university from the other side of the town, while he went to the closest university from his home. Every year, however, both of you would see each other for Christmas holidays, both of your eyes lingering on each other for a few seconds, before entering the house, unspoken words coming out every time. Taehyung was a great boyfriend. You loved him, but a little feeling in the back of your mind was always there, never making you stop thinking about Chan. 

“Y/N… I- we aren’t working anymore.” A teary Taehyung says, as you are also crying.

It all started two months ago. You and him both started to have a lot of work to do and none of you tried to make a little conversation with each other. You both got back to your shared apartment wasted and full of workload, entering the kitchen, grabbing some quick snack and going to sleep, only for the next day to happen exactly the same. You both tried to start talking again, but whenever one of you tried, the other wasn't in the mood of anything. Other than that, almost every week had its own fight, over the most insignificant stuff, which exhausted each other even more. Today was another fight, because he found the apartment messy. The fight accelerated quickly and soon enough, words were hitting each other again, harshly. Tears appeared in each other’s eyes. 

“We… we can’t, we-”

“Don’t you see, Y/N?” He sighs. “We haven’t had a normal conversation for months! We have barely even seen each other!”

“It’s- It’s only a phase, we will-”

“Y/N, please listen to me.” He cupped your face and made you look at him. “I love you, but we aren’t working. This- this is toxic! And it isn’t a phase… We’ve been like this for months, Y/N. For months! It’s not good for any of us!” He says, frustration being heard from the tone of his voice. His words make you cry even harder, hugging him as a goodbye.

“I loved you too, Taehyung. Very much. Thank you… for everything.” You sigh into his embrace. “I’ll leave in the morning.” You say as you go pack your bags.

Tragic, right? The only guy that made you feel safe put an end to your relationship. You knew that the relationship was getting even more toxic by day, but there was a hope… You wished it would get back to normal, to the way it used to be. But of course everything that you truly wish for, never happens. You always have laughed, the truth to be told, about the way that everything that you wished for turned out exactly the other way. If it happened to anyone other than yourself, you’d laugh, honestly. Because it simply sounds funny - to never have something that you truly wish for. And all of these wishes that never ended well, were all during the winter holiday, your favorite time of the year. But maybe it’s just your negative thoughts. Probably. Either way, right now, you have to think about another thing, about packing your things and getting out of your now ex boyfriend. 

It's exactly eleven months and thirteen days since you and your ex-boyfriend broke up. You weren't mourning your relationship anymore, however, you were still thinking about the happy moments you had together. However, you had no time to think about your past, now focusing on your last year of university. Truth to be told, you were straight up stressed and frustrated with the amount of work your teachers made you have - but you were ready to give your best. 

You still live with your parents, not having enough money to find an apartment all by yourself. Many people said it's stressing, to stay with your parents, but you were glad you still had some time to spend with your family, since you'd move away from home once you finished college. Afterall, this is your last Christmas here and you want to take in everything before you leave your childhood place. 

As you were getting nostalgic, you hear your mother call you from outside your room. You find your mom in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. 

“Hi, love.” She says and gives you a kiss on your forehead, but quickly gets back to cooking. “Your dad and I will go to his parents for the Christmas week and, since you're full of workload, we know you would prefer to remain at home. The only thing that I want to warn you is that, since you're a Christmas lover, we know you'll want to prepare the whole house for the holidays, so please take care. We will leave tomorrow morning, before you'll wake up, so don't worry about us.” 

You smile and nod, still a little bit sleepy. “Alright! Please take care, mom.” Right then, your father came from your parents’ bedroom, smiling at the smell of the pancakes your mother just finished making. 

It's already the 17th. Fuck. It's a week before Christmas and, even if you're full of excitement for having the house all for yourself during the holidays, you still can't stop thinking if your Christmas-decoration plan isn't a bit too much for yourself, being alone. But after all, you're Y/N, you've done this many times - sure, with the help of your parents and, well…

“Hey, don't you think you need a bit of… help?” Well, fuck. You could recognize that voice whenever and wherever. The exact person you were thinking of previously, the one and only Chan Bahng. You'd lie if you would say that you wouldn't need some help, though. But you don't want help, especially from him. So you try to ignore his concerned tone, as you try to put the Christmas lights at your house's eaves, standing on a not-so-stable metal staircase. And exactly what you did not wish for, happened. Your stairs happened to just give up on you, making you fall. Chan, immediately after he saw the way your stairs were moving in a not-so-safe way. He caught you in his arms, preventing you from hitting the pavement. He smiles, but once you feel his arms stopping your fall, you jump away from him, rearranging your outfit. He coughs, sighing at his question still being unanswered.

You force a smile. “Well, I guess..” You sigh, thinking that you, indeed, need some help. Even from Chan, your ex-best friend and still neighbor.

Indeed  with the help of another person, you soon finished decorating the outside. As you were entering the house, he stopped you. “Hey, uhm, maybe… I can help you with the inside as well? Since it's a big house and little time and we'll, you're alone.” He smiles, almost too awkwardly for Chan. He was right. Again. Another thing to add to the list of the things you don't like about him. You nod your head, inviting him in. Well, maybe you have another helper. The only thing you need to do is just, simply, finish the whole decorating situation, as fast as you can, and he'll be gone. Right?

That was the plan. A plan you had terribly failed, starting off with the question: “What in the world smells like this?”. A question asked by your neighbor, Chan. A question that even yourself would’ve asked if you wouldn't have been the one preparing the Christmas cookies you once knew how to prepare. You laughed, honestly, because another thing that you wished for just simply didn't happen. Well, that's the smallest thing that hasn't happened as wanted, you told yourself. Funny. Either way, the bad smell somehow found its way into the alley - the one Chan, exactly at that moment, was walking by. Funny, again. He knocked at your door, thinking that there might have been some type of fire accident and he was worried for you - something you brushed off easily, as only guilt built up through years. He asked you that exact question, which made you laugh - a genuine laugh, that made Chan thank God for finally getting some type of positive reaction to him - and you simply answered by letting him inside, showing him the cookies - the horribly burnt, with no taste cookies. You knew that you were a bad cook since you were a kid, to be honest. But usually, your parents or friends - yes, even Chan used to fit this category - were next to you, helping you out, which always made your cooking way more bearable - not for you, but for the other's health. Once he sees the cookies, his signature smile appears, his nose scrunching from both the unpleasant smell and from laughing. You smile as well - another sign that Chan takes in. 

“Okay, don’t you think you need some help with… those?” He says, amusingly. 

“Maybe…” You laugh as well, throwing the cookies into the bin.

That day, you cooked with Chan till late. The first attempt that you both made was so good that none could stop eating, so exactly when you wanted to take some and put them for the decor, you noticed none was left. So you both did another round of cookies, this time leaving some for the decor. Seeing that it was close to midnight, you invited him to eat something at your house, from your mom’s famous Christmas steak - an actually very common steak, however, you and Chan gave that name a few years ago, in your childhood. So he accepts your invitation, settling down at the table. That night, you both started talking about everything that happened during the time you didn’t talk - a thing that somehow, made you feel better. It was a good dinner, you thought, even if the steak was a little bit too cold, but his presence made the atmosphere warmer, so you didn’t mind it. 

There are exactly 6 days, 20 hours and 21 - actually 22, no 23 - seconds since you started planning for Christmas and eventually, started speaking to Chan again. A thing you finally didn’t regret. You were finally together, again. And tonight was finally Christmas Eve. Funny, you didn’t even register how the time went.

Ding Dong.

A sound comes from outside of your house. You open the door and are met with a red-nosed Chan, with the one sweatshirt you gave him years ago - you didn’t even recognize it at first - and with his hands on two hot chocolates, both from your favorite cafe in town. He looks up at you, eyes a little bit teary from the cold and you immediately smile and let him in. 

“Hey-”

“I did not want you to spend Christmas alone, Y/N… So, here I am!” he answers right away at your unspoken question. You forgot this man can literally predict your every move. So you just smile and help him with the hot chocolate - which you then pour into your favorite mugs, the ones you both got for Christmas, a long time ago. 

“What movie are we watching this Christmas, Y/N?” He asks, making himself cozy on your couch. You sit next to him, placing some of the Christmas cookies you both made together in front of you, accompanied by the hot chocolate Chan got - especially for you, a thing that he won’t tell anyone, actually.

“Well, how about (your favorite Christmas romance movie)?” You smile, as he nods and opens Netflix, pressing play to the movie.

There are 6 days, 23 hours and 19 - 20, 21 and 22 - seconds since Christmas appeared in your planning agenda again and you're finally at the last part. The one you enjoyed every Christmas - cuddling with a sleepy and warm Chan, that knows all the action of the movie, so when he wakes up at exactly 3 minutes before the main characters kiss, he knows all the action that has happened. And now, he’s finally awake, again, 3 minutes before the kiss scene, exactly as you expected. 

2 minutes.

“Okay, they are close!” He says with excitement in his voice as he hugs you even closer than you were, making you chuckle. You hug him back as well. Somehow, you like this proximity, even if it feels way more different than it used to be back when you were teenagers. It feels intimate, but you brush the thought off.

1 minute.

“Hold on~” He says, trying to figure out exactly the moment they will kiss. The two main characters are on the big screen of your TV, meaningful words being said by both of them. You start thinking how good it has to feel to have a winter love that grows day by day and the love erupts during Christmas Eve. It feels magical, untouchable, and you have to admit that you'd want to feel it too. Feel the thrill of celebrating both Christmas and the day you and your loved one had become a couple. You tried to imagine it, but the only thing that came into your head was the little boy that you saw the first day you moved here. In your imagination, the little boy grew and grew, and then you saw through your thoughts dates that he would have probably taken you to. You sigh at the mental images you imagined, returning back to reality when he strokes your hand. Your eyes meet his - he was already looking at you.

30 seconds

“Are you okay?” His gentle voice rings in your head. 

“Yeah…” That's all you can say. You're not fooling him, so he scoots even closer to you. 

“Y/N, I know you for a long time - too long to remember actually” He cracks a joke, making you smile. “I know when you’re not doing great, so please tell me. I am - well, I used to - be your best friend-”

“You still are…” You interrupt him.

15 seconds

“Well, I’m glad because you’re also mine-”

“That’s the thing. We’re best friends.” you continue.

“Yeah… I know?”

“Well, yeah, only best friends. Nothing else. Exactly as we used to be during our childhood.” You say, your gaze now being in your lap. He doesn’t say anything, so you continue. “During our childhood, I never truly understood what I felt to you. I confused it with… friendship, but it wasn’t quite that. It was more like… teen love, I guess? I mean, I was still a kid, but I felt something for you, more than I felt for my other friends, y’know? And… it broke my heart when I saw you with Sana-”

“It broke my heart to see you with Taehyung, as well.” He says, quietly, making you look at him, his blush prominent on his cheeks. “I mean… I thought you didn't see me this way and all of my friends made fun of me for not having a relationship, so I asked Sana out because I knew - well, I thought - you’d say no.” He sighs.

3 seconds

“Well, I never knew-”

“Is there a reason why we stopped talking?” He asks, making you nod. He cups your cheeks and lets out a heavy sigh.

2 seconds

“Do you, by any chance, still feel the same way?” He asks, hoping to be heard in his tone.

“I-” you remain blocked, a smile growing and growing until it reaches your eyes. “Yeah.”

1 second

“Then, fucking kiss me!” He groaned, rolling his eyes in a fake annoyance.

Kiss scene

No one was focusing on the movie, not now when your lips were on his. He was like coziness, home and safety - a mix of all of your comfort things. He tasted like Christmas, like actual Christmas. Both of you started to smile in the kiss, a soft, long awaited moment for both of you. 

“I wish we did this before…” You say once you break the kiss.

“I wish we will do this forever.” He smiles, bringing another wave of positivity to you, kissing you again, just as he wished. Forever.

taglist: @agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @jenny1p-l0ve

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[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Being Franks Daughter in Hawkins pt 10

Gif Caption: Top Gif: Marc and Steven from Marvel's Moonknight, Bottom Gif: Billy Hargrove from Netflix's Stranger Things

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Reader: 17-18 | female

Characters Mentioned: Frank Castle (MCU), Matt Murdock (MCU), Marc Spector/Steven Grant/ Jake Lockey (MCU), Peter Parker (MCU), Curt Hoyle (MCU), Dinah Madani (MCU), Karen Page (MCU), Billy Hargrove (ST), Steve Harringotn (ST), Dr.Sam Owens (ST), Joyce Byers (ST), Will Byers(ST), Mike Wheeler (ST), Jim Hopper (ST) Nancy Wheeler (ST), Lucas Sinclair (ST), Dustin Hednerson (ST), Max Mayfeild (ST), Jonathan Byers (ST)

A/n: Here we go shits goin down just wait till i make billy and Y/n fight

Warnings: Guns, fighting with Billy, chaos is a comin around the corner.

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So you rushed to get the kids at school, driving quickly to the middle school.

Parking in the first spot you seen just in time as the bell rang.

You got out and quickly went to stand by the bike racks.

Mike was the first out, and certainly in a rush.

"Y/n-"

"We need to go." Y/n deamnded.

"No. I need to go to Will's house-"

"Exactly," y/n spoke picking his bike up with ease.

"Hey!" Mike argued, Y/n carrying it to the car and putting it in the back, "Thats my bike! Be careful!"

"Kid! I could give less than one fuck about a bike. Hell. I'll buy you a new one- I know about Will."

Mike looked up at her as she closed the trunk.

"You know about the Shadow Monster-"

"Yeah. Fucker had will draw me." Y/n informed, "Where are the rest of your friends."

"They dont know Will's been seeing it. Just. I do." Mike told, "Im just going, we lost Dart."

"Dustin's pet?" Y/n asked.

"I'll explain on the way."

The two got in but a hand slammed ontop the car on her side.

"You." Billy growled, "what The FUCK is happening. You were just arrested a few hours ago! What did you tell them?"

"I dont have time for this-"

"Oh no- You're gonna fucking answer me!" Billy argued, "Now Y/n!"

"Stay in the car." Y/n told Mike as she got out slamming the door closed.

"I suggest you back up Billy." Y/n threatened

Real names were being used, this was getting serious

He took a step forward they beyond invading personal space now, "Or what."

"Watch yourself." Y/n warned.

"What did you tell them?" Billy questioned once again.

"What? Bout you?" Y/n argued voice raising, "about what your dad does? Bout there Shit justice system. About how you Let it happen-"

"Shut up. Now." He demanded.

"Why? Because you cant swallow the fucking truth?-"

He grabbed her forearm, face leaning in closer.

"And whats the truth."

"You already know the truth: You came to me I helped but you asked me to stop- to not cross that line, yet you know in a god damn heart beat I'd cross that line for you. Its at the back of your throat but you wont swallow it." Y/n argued, "Now let the fuck go of me Billy. Before I break your arm."

He threw her arm to the side, both still in each other's face: "I fucking hate you," he deemed.

"I'll go cry about it then." Y/n shot back turning around to get back in the car and starting to drive off.

"You're dead to me Castiglione! DEAD!" he shouted as she drove off.

You drove off in heavy silence, Mike afraid to even talk

But you obviously distressed.

"You...okay?" He asked.

"Yeah...Yeah nothing I can handle..." Y/n lied with a smile, "Remember. Secret Supehero."

He looked over at her, "Why do older people lie to everyone?"

Y/n sighed: "I don't know."

It was silent the rest of the trip.

You had said you'd cry about it to Billy in sarcasm, but soon as you let Mike out the car to go to Joyce you sat on the porch trying not to cry

Hopper was leaving, shove over his shoulder when he spotted you

Dad mode?

Yes

He took a seat next to you, handing out a pack of cigrattes out to you

"Should a cop be giving a teen a cigratte?"

"Yeah well. We do stupid shit when we're upset." He explained as she took the carton, "plus I was a teenager once."

"Thanks."

She pulled out one and lit it with ease handing it back to him.

"Don't make it a habit."

"I wont." Y/n told rubbing her face, "You know. I moved from New York to Hawkins for some peace."

"Seems like the chaos followed you." Hopper told as he lit his own cigratte.

Y/n chuckled under her breathe, "Chaos follows me everywhere."

"Me and you both kid." Hopper spoke, taking a long inhale of his cigratte before blowing the smoke out his nose.

"Come on." He spoke.

"What?" Y/n asked.

"Come on. Lets go diggin."

Odd but. You follow him anyways

This time he didn't put you in hand cuffs.

And he took you to the farms.

You both got out and he told you to start digging

"For what? Roots?"

"No. Just dig until you hit something." He explained pulling out a pistol, "You know how to use that?"

"Revolver, Sam & Wesson. Model...67?" Y/n spoke looking over the revolver, "Sorry. 66."

He looked at her surpises as she tucked it in the back of her jeans and grabbed her shovel starting to dig.

"Well? Are we diggin? Or are you standing there?" Y/n asked.

He'd proceed to dig with you, making small talk along the way

He actually laughed when you told him you had done what you had to Neil Hargrove

Hopper explained he never liked Neil and that you beating Neil up kinda had made his week.

Apparently from what you could piece together: Neil had said he touched you: got into an arguement over something and it escolated.

He said it was good that you knew how to defend yourself

"My dad taught me." Y/n explained, they both take a small break sitting in the hole "but I have a feeling you don't like him."

"Barely know the guy." Hopper told her.

"I think it's about Joyce." Y/n spoke, "Ya know. Pretty ol Joyce Byers."

He rolled his eyes, smoking his break time cigratte.

"Hard to let someone go you love kid."

"I know..."

"thats what she wants and shes happy. Thats the only bad part. You think you can make her even happier but it doesn't get better than that kid." Hopper lectured with a stretch, "Don't think I've seen Joyce so happy before."

Y/n nodded standing up grabbing the shovel again, they both getting back to it.

"It plays out how it should in the end." Y/n spoke up, "Right?"

Hopper nodded, "Right."

The two contuined digging themselves what could of been there own graves

Tossing dirt over there shoulders and up top till Y/n hit something

"Here."

They both quickly dug and pulled at the black vine like goo

Creating an opening.

"What in the name of America's ass..." Y/n spoke dipping her head downward into the what she assumed was tunnels.

"Fuck- what are you doing-"

Y/n dropped in, with ease. If she was going to be involved might as well as be invested.

She landed on her feet looking both ways Hopper dropping in behind her.

"Well I'll be damned..." Hopper aspirated they both shocked at what was surronding them.

You only pushed forward Revolver in hand

Hopper stopped her, he cutting off his sleeves

"Airs toxic." He explained as she took it from him tying it around her head to make a makeshift mask.

"Just like my realtionship with Stark." Y/n sighed pulling a small flashlight from her boot.

The thing about being in front is your use to Frank keeping up, or you keeping up with Frank

You're use to fast pace, you can sight see later

So when you push on and loose Hopper you're kinda fumbernucked

"Chief!?" Y/n shouted looking around, "Cheif!"

"Oh fuck...I should of listened to Marc..." Y/n sighed contuining on, "what are the odds he's down here with his bird mother fucker..."

She looked around, but the shouting from Hopper caught her attention, she quickly rushing after him.

"Cheif! Cheif!" Y/n shouted looking around "Cheif!!"

Y/n looked down feeling something wrapping around her ankles, "Fu-"

She was pulled by the ankles and too the ground, being dragged down a tunnel.

"Fuck! I just wanted a Normal fucking school year!" Y/n protested in anger as she tried to grab onto something. Her shouting only echoning in the distance.

Meanwhile Dustin was trying to find SOMEONE ANYONE to help him

He was knocking on the Wheeler's door. Just to get an uncaring answer from Mr.Wheeler

"Son of a bitch, you no help at all." Dustin complained walking away.

"Lanuage!" Mr.Wheeler complained shutting the door as Steve had pulled up flowers in his hand he muttering to himself.

"Yeah. I made a mistake. Okay. These are an apology gift for Y/n but I dont know what Im apologizing for even though I do but nothing happened at the halloween party just. I dont know how to tell her what did happen." Steve muttered to himself, he going to ask Nancy for help, and for an apology to Y/n herself, Steve felt like Nancy could atleast do that, "yeah makes sense...:

"Are those for Mrs. Wheeler?" Dustin spoke up.

Steve looked up, "what no-"

Dustin grabbed them, "hey! Man-"

"Do you still have that bat?"

"What?"

"The one with the nails?"

"Yeah. Why?" Steve asked.

"I'll explain on the way lover boy. I need to go to Y/n's house."

So Dustin explained it to him, how he kept a baby demogorgin, and how he named it Dart

And how it REALLY didnt like you

Like. Despited you

"So?" Steve spoke, "You're freaky little pet didnt like Y/n-"

"Im assuming it'll go after her, and she doesnt know anything about the-"

Steve immediately floored it, driving faster to her house.

"Dude! Calm down!"

"If that thing Kills her Henderson, I'll make sure she drags you down to the grave with her!"

"Okay! Okay!"

They make it to your house and Steve bangs on the door.

Frank answers it, cup of coffee in his hand, must've just gotten home from work.

"You better have a good reason for-"

"Is Y/n home?" Steve asked frantically.

"No." Frank spoke, "She went with you last night-"

Matt joined Frank at the door.

"Is something wrong?" Matt questioned, "Y/n's not with you?"

"She's most likely with Billy-" Steve brushed off, "Yeah. There..."

"Probally out at a party." Dustin finsihed.

"Y/n hates parties." Frank argued.

"Yeah! But you know Y/n always the...life of stuff! We're gonna go." Dustin contuined as they both quickly walked away to Steve's car and quickly drove off.

"I'll get my suit." Matt spoke walking off.

Meanwhile your still stuck in the Upside down, hanging upside down, blood rushing to your head as more vines hold your arms straight down.

"What a bunch of a holes leaving me upside down...like atleast sacerfice me in a cool way."

"Hopper!? Hopper!?" A female called from the distance, it was Joyce.

"Oh thank god!" She cried out, she must've gotten Hopper out from wherever he was trapped.

"Kid! Kid!"

"Im here!" Y/n called, "Over here!"

The small group walked towards her, "Who's that?" Y/n asked.

"Im Bob. Im a friend of Joyce."

"Hi Bob Im Y/n. Joyce is dating my dad."

"What are you doing?" Hopper asked.

"Oh Just ya know. Hanging around with Mephisto's sperm." Y/n stated in a matter of fact tone, and glared at him, "What the fuck do you think Im doing!?"

So they helped you down and all of you luckily got out of there of course after being fuckin jumpscared by some guy in a hazmat suit

Your so done with different relams

Cant you just call Dr.Strange for this to be done?

God you wish

When you get out you're panicking seeing what's clearly a goverment operation

But then Will goes into what you can only describe as a severe seizure

Fuck the goverment now.

Wills in obvious pain and your main focus is to get him up and okay

But as quick as you go to help him your shoved away.

Unlike the others you actually detained, despite everyone's shouting for your release.

You fighting them to the best of your ability without severely injuring anyone

But they detain you anyways

And wow. Hawkins Lab who could of guess

There violent with you, or alteast of the verge of violent

They scrub you down with a damn hose while your in cuffs, they've cuffed your ankles.

This is beyond you just knowing now. They have to know something else.

And your chained to your chair, you had bit someone so they muzzled you

A doctor walked in, older man.

"Hello Ms.Castiglione." he spoke tossing a thick file on the table, "what do you prefer?"

Y/n glared at him, "Ms.Castiglione? Or Ms.Castle?"

She didnt answer as he sighed, "Perhaps Ms.Russo?"

"Fuck. You." Y/n spoke, venom dripping from her lips, "My name. Is Y/n Castiglione my father is Franklin Castiglione. I don't know a Russo. "

He nodded, "Alright. Lucky for you it was just a side research on my part. No one else knows."

Y/n was quiet as he opened up the file, "Multiple Premeditated and Conducted Murders. You're quiet Bust Ms.Y/n. I do thank you for taking down that molester slash serial killer, just before you moved to Hawkins. Horrible person he is."

"What do you want? Me to be quiet?"

"Infact. Yes. But I don't think that'd be a problem. With all your...past lets call it?" He explained, "Now I could care less about your track record. Wipe it clean for you if you do me just one small favor. Both you and your dad's track record."

"What."

"Why does this...entity. lets call it. You know. Where you were trapped?"

"The upside down." Y/n filled in.

"Sure. Yes." He went along with, "The upside down. What connection do you have with it?"

"It tried to kill me." Y/n told, "thats the only connection I have to it. Not a good one if you ask me."

"Why is it scared of you?"

"Shit." Y/n spoke leaning back in her chair, " why arent you asking yourself that? Aren't you afraid of me? You're the one threating my track record."

He shifted in his seat: he's uncomfortable.

"Now." Y/n spoke standing up, chains falling off her body, she pulled the muzzle from her face, red lines showed where it once pushed deep into her skin, "Shall we? Doctor-?"

Y/n looked at him as he sat in shock, she leaning in closer.

"Owens." She spoke, "Doctor Owens. Can We go? If its afraid of me. Dont you want me out there?"

He took you around the Lab, you thought you were going to see Will but ended up with Hopper

Both given hazmat suits which you decided against and just took a respirator.

Thats when you seen it for the first time.

The gate.

Unlike Hopper or the others you did hesitate to go and walk up to it.

It was like an infection, that spread throughout a body and that body was loosing

You reached your hand out but it retracted immediately and spread else where.

"What the fuck..." y/n laughed looking back at Hopper who had been yelling at her the whole time to get back.

But did you?

No

You walked through the gate, becausw fuck it at this point

You still dont understand how this place, or thing, or whatever is afraid of you

Can a place be afraid of you? That just doesnt sit right

Unless this Shadow Monster affecting Will is controlling this place

That would make more sense, but why?

Hopper was yelling at you to be careful when you realized it and rushed back through the portal

It knows who you are and if it knows who you are, it knows who your dad is what you both are.

You demanded to know where Will was, and Dr.Owens wouldnt tell you, so you pulled a gun from a gaurd on him.

Eventually you got it out of him and rushed to see him, Dr.Ownes behind you

Will was surpised to see you, and so was Joyce who quickly stood infront of Will's bed.

"Leave now." Joyce demanded.

She knows, "Joyce. Mrs.Byers. please. Let me explain-"

"Explain what?" She questioned, "That you killed people. Both you and you're dad!? The Punisher!? Really!?"

"Mrs.Byers those people had the right to die!" Y/n argued, "you don't understand-"

"No. I don't!-"

"Mrs.Byers. Please. Those people killed children." Y/n explained to her, her expression seemed to let up just the slightest, "Its how I ended up with Frank to begin with. He has my back, and I have his. I may have killed people but I wouldn't lie to no one. Especially not you."

"Why wouldn't you- Frank. Tell me." She asked, genuinely heartbroken.

"I. Its not something you can go flashing around." Y/n explained, "Look. You know me. You know my dad. Frank. My dad loves you and you know he'd do anything for you and your family."

Joyce slowly dropped her shoulders, "i get it. I do. Its scary." Y/n explained.

"But I know. For a fact. That If I can help save any of you. I would." Y/n contuined taking a few steps closer, "and that thing, knows I can do some serious damage. Let me help you."

She sighed, and nodded, Y/n sighing in relief, but wasnt expecting the hug that came next.

Joyce Byers was hugging you, after your whole identity was releved to her.

You don't think you've had anyone hug you after someone knew of well. You killing people.

So Joyce allows you to contuine to help

You sit besides Will.

"Hey bud...do I...scare you?" Y/n asked.

He shook his head no, "No...you're a good person."

Y/n smiled holding his hand,

"Are you kidding?" Mike added, "Your a totally bad ass! Taking down Badguys! I knew you were a superhero!"

Y/n laughed, "thank you Mike...But Will,I scare that thing?"

He nodded.

"Why? Do you know?"

Will shook his head no, "It doesnt like your friends either."

"My friends?" Y/n questioned.

"You're new york friends" He explained, "it doesnt like your dad either."

Y/n was silent for a moment, "fuck-"

Y/n got up quickly, "Where are you going?" Joyce asked.

"Its after my family!" Y/n argued, Dr.Owns throwing her keys.

"Take mine." He spoke, "go!"

You've never rushed off so quick before.

But he never told you what car he drives, and you got fucking annoyed and just broke into one and hot wired it and was off at the speed of light

Plus it was dark outside making it worse.

"Fuck. Marc I could really use you now!" Y/n argued, "Should Of just fucking listened! But No! You wanted a boyfriend! A normal life! Fuck a normal life!"

Y/n made it to her house, jumping out the car and rushing inside the house, no one home.

"Dad! Matt! Matthew!" Y/n shouted, curising as she looked around, "Karen! Peter!"

She walked into his room, "Curt!? Madani!"

No one. She went into her room, pushing over her bed, with ease and going to the loose floorboard.

"Fuck... Y/n cursed, but paused, looking at the vest, she could take it, put it back on.

Instead she grabbed the hatchets besides holstered on a belt.

"I can do this without you." She spoke, covering the floorboard and grabbing knifes from her wall.

"Thank god for Loki." Y/n spoke kissing one of the blades before holstering them on her belt.

Y/n covered the hole again and left to find her family.

You walked out the house, looking up at the full moon and screamed at the top of your lungs for Moonknight.

You were glad when part of the moon became blocked out, it Marc in the ceremonial armour landing at your feet.

"Now you need me?" Marc asked the coustume breaking away.

"Get in the damn car." Y/n ordered getting in the driver seat, "I need Steven."

"Well of course you do." Steven spoke getting into the passanger seat, "What is it today love? Midnight sons? Ancient Egyptian battle-"

Y/n speed off quickly, "Well slow down!" Steven complained.

"Theres a gateway here in Hawkins. To what they call the Upside down- It knows about me and Frank. I dont know where he is! And You need to help me!"

"Where the bloody hell would he be?" Steven asked

"I don't know!-"

Y/n floored on the breaks, rocking them both forward, "The Byers house."

"What?"

"The Byers house! If Frank's going to look for anyone it'd be at the Byers house! Fuck he knows me too well!" Y/n argued making a fast U turn, going back to Joyce's house.

"Who's the Byers!" Steven asked

"The moms Franks Girlfriend!"

"Frank has a girlfriend!?" Marc aspirated.

So you quickly drove to Joyce's house, well you where-

Until you stopped, smelling blood as you floored on the breaks.

"Marc I need you to contuine to look for my dad." Y/n explained getting out the driver seat.

"Excuse me!?"

"Look! Go look for my dad!" Y/n ordered, "Please."

He sighed, "You're lucky I like you."

He shifted over and took her seat, "becareful. I know you sense ya know....werid shit."

Y/n nodded.

You watched Marc drive off as you walked into the forest

You smelled Blood and Unlike Matt you couldnt identify who's blood

But with everything going on.. it was best to check

You found yourself farther than you thought as you made it to what seemed to be an old dumping grounds, an old bus, some old cars along with rubble here and there.

"Hello!" Y/n called.

She stopped when something squished below her.

"Aw...shit...always my fuckin feet..." y/n complained raising her foot.

Y/n kneeled down, taking a knife from her belt. Sticking it in the substance and bringing it closer. It was meat. Most likely beef from the color, or perhaps pork-

"Y/n!" Someone whispered in a rush. She looked up.

"Get over here!"

She looked up, and squinted, "Max?"

There was a low growl, Y/n pausing in her spot.

The bus door opened slowly, barely making a squeak Steve slowly walking out, hand loose in one hand and the other one out in sign for her to not make a move. Then brought a finger to his lips to tell her to keep quiet.

Another low growl as Y/n turned her head.

Just a rabid dog at first glance. Until it got closer. It's head made of what could be a flower bulb as it stalked closer.

Y/n slowly pulled one of her hatches from her side.

"Steve." Y/n started, "get in the bus."

"What-"

"Get in the fuckin' bus." Y/n ordered.

"No."

"I'm not-"

The growl came closer as it slowly closed in.

"Fuckin' stay close then..." Y/n whispered to him facing the dog.

It came running at the two, jumping for it's killing just for Y/n to slash it off to the side.

"Let me guess. Gift from a god." Steve spoke another growl being heard from behind, Steve's shoulder blades met hers quickly, they back to back.

"No." Y/n responded, "sharpened from the thrift store. Camping department."

"Keep on the toes in a circle," Y/n told taking the second hatchet out a second dog coming at them, Steve takinga swing at it, knocking it off and back into the on rolling fog.

"Gotta admit." Steve spoke up, twilring the bat in his hand, "Kinda hot seeing you kick ass Killer."

"Not the time to flirt hot shot." Y/n laughed.

"Steve! Y/n!" Dustin shouted.

"Busy!" Y/n complained.

"There's More!" Lucas shouted, "A shit load more!"

Y/n and Steve looked around them, they completely surronded by more of these flower head dogs.

"Oh..." y/n started.

"Fuck..." Steve finished.

"Abort! Abort!" Dustin shouted.

"Go! Go!" Y/n shouted.

The two took back back towards the bus, Steve rushing in with Y/n behind him, yet one clamped down on her hand.

"AH!" Y/n screamed.

"Y/n!" Steve shouted regripping his bat.

But Y/n dragged the monster in and Dustin shut the foor.

"Im keeping my fucking hand!" Y/n shouted at it, grabbing the lip of the monster and forcing it's mouth open.

"Holy Shit!" Max screamed Y/n getting her hand out and holding onto one of its petal like lips.

"Fuck. You!"

She pulled at it's mouth forcing it more open than it should be naturally, it screeching in pain as Y/n raised her foot up.

"Die! You!" Y/n shouted kicking it down, "peice!"

With more force and the help of her weight the thing was split, "Of shit!" She shouted for a final time, it dieing as Y/n threw it off to the side.

She falling onto the floor with heavy breathe, leaning against one of the broken seats "fuck..."

They looked at her in Horror, she covered in blood and guts, then the kids lauged.

"YOU'RE A TOTAL BAD ASS!" They cheered.

Yet it didnt last long as the dogs charged at the door, trying to get in, resulting in the fear setting back in.

"FUCKING HELL! IM DONE WITH FUCKING FLOWER FUCKIN FACES!" Y/n shouted grabbing the bat from Steve.

"Y/n! Y/N!"

You had already gone to the door where Dustin had tried to block it in and with the reching in demodog you beat it half to death.

Yet it didnt stop there, a scream from Max ripping you attention away, one of these dogs, screeching down at her from the open bus emergency exit.

But before anyone could make a move, it stopped and looking off to the side it chirping, growling then roaring before it left in a hurry.

You guys were quiet no one making a move for a good five mintues.

Steve was out the door first, back with his signature bat in hand as he checked

But the creatures had just vanished

And now that you all have a mintue to breathe in the outside air the adrenaline is starting to wear off.

"Dustin." Y/n called, "you got duck tape in that backpack of yours?"

He went through his bag, "Yeah. Here."

Y/n thanked him wrapping her bleeding hand and past her wrist in duck tape, "here."

He was in compelte shock as you just contuined on without a care, putting your hatchets away at your sides.

You all walked off, hoping to find where they went, Lucas found from using his binoculars that they went "home" Hawkins Lab

You told them last time you checked, Will was there

Dustin and Lucas started to try and fill you in

But you said you already knew, and not to worry you could handle it.

You stayed in the back of the group, Max walking besides you.

"Are...you okay?" She asked.

Y/n nodded, "yeah... this? Its nothing."

It was silent, "I know...you and Billy."

"I don't wanna talk about it..." Y/n responsed.

"But I just-"

"Look! Max! I don't care what you think!" Y/n argued, in a whispered shout, "my dad's god knows where, Im dead to Billy! I-"

She stopped rubbing over her face taking a deep breathe in, "Im...look Im sorry...I just...want everyone safe."

"Is that a superhero thing?" Max asked, "taking everything on yourself?"

"It just may be...Im not much of a hero..."

"Just a badass?" Max asked

Y/n chuckled, "Just a badass."

"Well..." she spoke, "if the badass doesn't mind. I don't mind helping with anything."

Y/n smiled patting Max on the head, "I'll remember that. Your first lesson when shits not grinding in the fan. Hot wiring."

"Really!?"

"No."

You all contuined forward, and you had to break up some stupid fight between Lucas and Dustin

Even tho they both yellled at you to stay out of it.

"Look! Both of you!" Y/n shouted, "You fucked up Dustin! You fucked up Lucas! You both get that!?"

"But-" Lucas tried to interveine.

"I said You fucked up Dustin! You fucked up Lucas! Do you both get that!? Or will I have to have The winter soilder come and stab both of you in the eye!" Y/n argued.

"You know The Winter Soilder?!" The two asked.

"Not the point!" Y/n argued, "so lets just. Go. Alright?"

The two nodded and contuined down the railroad path.

You all coming up on the lab.

Hearing hellos coming from the distance you all started towards the sound. Just for it to be Jonathan.

And Nancy...

Great she first tries to steal your boyfriend, talks to you like nothing happened, and then she was with your brother-Jonathan, she was with Jonathan.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Us!?" Nancy asked, "We're looking for Mike and Will."

"Shit what happen to your hand?" Jonathan asked Y/n grabbing the ducktaped hand.

"Nothing big-"

"Wait what are you doing here?" Nancy asked her.

"Right now? Getting Mike and Will out of there." Y/n argued pointing towards the lab.

"Gate has no power." Jonathan told her.

"Fuck..." Y/n spoke pulling away from him, looking up at the gate, "I can jump it-"

"Are you insane?!" Nancy asked, "That's barbed wire-"

"And?" Y/n asked walking towards the Fence serveying the area,"not as bad as you think."

She started to climb the fence.

"Y/n! Woah woah!" Steve stopped her, "You're injured-"

"Will and Mike are in there!" Y/n defended and started to climb again, but Nancy pulled her down.

"Are you trying to die?" Nancy argued.

Y/n turned to her getting dangerously close, "no but your going to if you touch me again."

Nancy looked offended, "What the hell-"

"Blow it out your ass Nancy." Y/n argued, "You're just Bullshit. You're pure bullshit!"

"Y/n-"

"Be quiet." Y/n ordered, "You stop me again, I will hurt you."

Y/n climbed over the fence, just barely able to throw herself over the barbed wire.

"Y/n!" Steve shouted, "Y/n!"

You ignored him and managed to hurry to the building, yet the door wouldnt open and if the power is off...

You managed with one of your longer pins to slide it between the door and the door frame wiggling around till you heard a click and the door opened letting you in

It's time to go safe the homies now

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

Tags: @raelwrites @miiikkeey @beebslebobs @ah-witch @supernaturallover2002 @pearlstiare @simonsbluee @stilllivindue2spite @lvbred @dancingqueen21 @writerdream22 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @knivqs @xxlaynaxx @3-spurr @eliskakratochvilova @sunshinepower17 @marssssaturn @howlerwolfmax @mxltifxnd0m @varientlyvisual

#x reader #marvel x reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things x female reader #stranger things x y/n #marvel x y/n #frank castle #x female reader #frank castle x reader #female reader #billy hargrove x reader #marvel frank castle #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington headcanon #billy hargrove headcanon #frank castle x female reader #stranger things x marvel headcanons #marvel x stranger things #headcanons

[firethatgrewsolow]

Curious question I hope you or someone can help with: before the Starship, how did the boys get from show to show? Especially like multi city gigs in the same state. I’ve never heard anyone mention anything. On a fun note, I’m imaging a Tiny Dancer Almost Famous scene but it’s Elvis 😂

Ahh, that does sound fun! I love that scene, and TD is one of my favorite songs. 💕 As to your question, I’ve pondered that a time or two. Which is to say I was pretty much obsessed with figuring out what they did when I was writing M&R. From what I’ve gathered, and I could easily be wrong, they had essentially three tiers of travel in the states. Europe was a bit different, and I’ll explain that in a sec.

In the early, early days, it looks like they were ferried about via station wagon, which quickly morphed into commercial flights and limos, as their success was basically immediate. There are some hilarious stories about snow storms and ruffled hair from those days - just google it if you don’t know them already. So funny. They continued w the commercial flights until they procured the Falcon jet. Not sure exactly when that was, but I know they had it by the summer of 71. My guess is sometime during 1970. Here’s Peter Grant chatting about it:

“Before that we had a nine-seater Falcon jet, which was a tremendous plane. We used to fly to every gig, into the limo, police escort, do the gig, do the encore and then – no changing, bang! – to the plane. I mean, it's wonderful isn't it, having your own plane?

“But they had to sit opposite each other all the time. And of course, there were rows, but they never lasted more than two or three hours (two or three hours ha!) a night. Somebody might get chinned by one of the others, having punch-ups between themselves. I mean, Bonzo and Robert were famous for that.

“The first time in Japan, in 1970 (it was actually 71) Robert went on with a split lip for the encore every time. And this was an argument over something they did in the [pre-Zeppelin band] Band Of Joy – Robert wouldn't pay Bonzo £37 for petrol or something.

“The thing is, in all seriousness, on that small plane you were too in that 'cocoon'. And then the 'Starship' came along. Which was only $14,000 more, because they [Boeing] wanted the publicity and that kind of thing. And we thought, well why not? We'll have a 720.”

They kept using the Falcon until half way through the 73 tour, at which time they scored the Starship. So, essentially, they scrubbed around for the first few months, then rapidly ascended to planes and limos. There’s talk of some school bus thing they used in the very beginning, but I can’t find anything concrete. In case you were wondering, the crew carted equipment around in U-haul type vehicles, staying in like mid-level budget motels, eventually sometimes flying commercial w the gear in the hold. They might also have gotten a bus at some point, I’m not sure. Im terribly uninformed about that.

In Europe, as the landscape and logistics are quite different than in the USA, they flew and took trains, sometimes personally driving to gigs. There’s a story about Robert’s car breaking down on the way to a gig in January 73, requiring he (and Bonzo?) hitchhike! to the show. I can only assume he was compelled to drive bc of a need for convenience / autonomy and not to save a buck lol! Some people theorize that he caught a cold doing this and sang anyway (as he was wont to do) - and that this was the genesis of his vocal struggles. I’d say smoking and opening with IS sans warmup a million times in a row might have had something to do with it, too. 😉

Well, that’s my Ted talk on Zeppelin transport logistics. 😁 Hope it wasn’t too boring. I really love delving into this stuff so thanks for the question! 💖 I’ll probably dig around a little deeper and see what I can find. And if anyone would like to add anything, please do!!

#sorry it took so long to reply! #very fun question ❤️

[walnutmediocre]

Why I'm quitting my job that I'm now 8 months into.

For about a week now, I've been having some self revelations. Or rather I should say some self re-discoveries (I'll go more into that later). For now, I'll describe all the straws singularly being plucked one by one, aka small things that drive me crazy.

Just to get right into it: my coworkers are extremely ignorant. The first day I was getting trained, the person training me already made racist jokes, calling black people "basketball Americans" and how "he's sick of them. they're so loud, and they smell like weed". That genuinely bothered me to my core.

Another thing, a lot of them are sexist. The men there complain about their wives. Genuinely grosses me out.

The manager and one of the female coworkers (who has a boyfriend btw) very obviously have a thing going on. All of my other coworkers mention how its weird, yet nobody is reporting it? In fact, the female coworkers sister is protecting the manager. A customer is aware of this situation (granted hes a piece of shit too. this customer harassed me, however I wish he actually called HR and reported it) and he made the joke that he'd all HR. Thats when my manager was warned about that by the sister. Im just sick of this. To make matters worse, that coworker called her boyfriend stupid for not picking up on what's happening. She would tell him about the gifts that her manager would give her, and he'd say how he's happy for her because that has to mean something positive about her work ethic, or how much the manager respects her, etc. she legit was like "bro you're so stupid lmfao" EVEN WORSE. Women would come up to her and ask her if she's single because they want to introduce her to someone they know. Her answer? "Well.. I'm not married... We can talk about it later!"

Today, I was ringing up these two customers. A dude, and what I can only assume to be a trans woman, either that or a masculine person dressing femininely (I'm describing that specifically bc its a relevant detail) and my male coworker legitimately asked "........is that a man. Is that a man in a skirt." First of all, we legit have a trans coworker so he's not actually stupid, he's being willingly ignorant. And secondly, asking me that as if this is some crazy thing to see like this is the wild or something is actually, well, wild.

Now, I'll be revisiting what I meant by "self re-discovery".

I noticed I've been growing tolerant towards certain things that, in actuality, I cannot stand. They drain me.

People like my co-workers, and people like the customers there, are the exact opposite of me. I miss community. I miss the times when I could walk into a building, a place and talk to people who I agree with, who I can talk about my hobbies with, who I can talk about my passions with. At work, I cant do that. My coworkers are- for a lack of the better phrase- too normal. Like... overwhelmingly normal. A lot of them don't have time for themselves, so their lives are filled with complaining about their car, or their kid, or about their day job. Constantly talking about sports. Constantly talking about becoming a pilot when they're older, or wanting to work at a golf course......... like, what? I cannot relate in the SLIGHEST to that.

When I walk into that building, I feel the loneliest. At first, it was fine, I could laugh with them at a distance, but then I re-discovered that I'm the type of person to be extremely bothered with stuff over time. I re-discovered that Im simply an intolerant person towards, well, intolerant people. Why be a shit human? My goal in life is to surround myself with people who are good for me. My goal is to surround myself with others who I wont constantly look for red flags in.

To close this out, I want to say that I most likely will be quitting in the span of 3 months. I'll be writing my 2 weeks notice soon.

And, if anyone needed to hear it, I just want you to know that ANY reason is a good reason to leave your job. Your employer is owed NOTHING. Leaving and not giving them your time is your right. I don't care if they end up under staffed, and you shouldn't either. That is not my responsibility, and it isn't yours!

#mentally tired #quitting my job #two weeks notice #quiet quitting #capitalism #racisim #sexism #unhealthy relationships #toxic workplace #toxic work environment #toxic work culture #toxic employees #quitting my job lol #job qutting #wanting more #happiness #why im quitting #anti harassment #tw harassment #homewrecking #cheating

[starlightsoulwriting]

Ghost-Blood//Revenant: 4

Khonshu, Marc Spector, Steven Grant x Fem!Reader

AO3

other chapters

Rating: PG-13/T, for cursing and later violence

Warnings: None

Summary: A calm before the storm.

A/n: Ice skating Steven lives in my head rent free now and I’ll make it everyone else’s problems. I just think he deserves it.

���Steven I’m going to fall, I swear to god.” Your voice strained against the bounds of your throat from the uncertainty in your mind, and the chill in the air around you, heartbeat fast in your ribs. You hated the cold. You hated ice, almost as much as you hated cars and large bodies of water. You swallowed. This sucked, this fucking suck, what the fuck were you thinking? “Why did I think this was a good idea?” You breathed, knees wobbling over the ice skates underneath you. “Who the fuck decided this was fun.”

The cold of the room bit stinging patches into your cheeks as your hands clutched the outer railings tight, looking straight forward at Steven, who wasn’t taking your grumbling personally at all, both of you ignoring the other people passing by as they continued on their fun, somehow staying upright despite the fact that they had knives strapped to their fucking shoes.

“Even if you fall, I’ll help you back up, yeah?” Steven smiled wide, wrapped up in a light blue Columbia sweater you’d stolen from your old room-mate, who’d stolen it from her boyfriend, and that now Steven had stolen from you, not seeming to mind the way the sleeves hung over his hands. “And if you still decide you hate it, we can just go for a walk in the park instead.”

He reached out for your hands, slowly prying them from the rails, and started skating backwards to lead you around the rink. He was graceful on the ice, somehow, even if he fell on his face on solid, normal pavement. How the hell did that work?

And you’d let him talk you into this, because he enjoyed it. Even though you were terrified, breathing shallow as you slowly started skating forward on uncertain legs.

“See, it’s not that bad, innit?” He said after a moment of you awkwardly shuffling forward with him practically pulling you along, your hands claiming at his wrists.

“Just wait until I fall and get a bloody nose from this, Grant.” You hissed, eyes on the ground. “Just what I need when Doctor Jackson comes back from his dig tomorrow.”

“You would still be beautiful.” Steven squeezed your hands encouragingly, something you’d grown to appreciate deeply being able to see him in person again after four months long distance. “Jackson wont know what hit him either way.”

You gave him a deadpan stare, and blinked. “I was more concerned about having to work on painkillers, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

But then he beamed at you with that laugh, and your heart swelled, thrumming to a steady rhythm of gooey emotion. He let go of your right hand but held onto your left, still, and moved so he skated beside you rather than in front, now that you had a bit of confidence on your feet.

Even though you were absolutely holding him back from his real fun, being dead weight and all.

“There you go!” He squeezed your hand again, and you warmed despite the cold of the room. “You are doing so well, love.”

Love. An endearment he used often, but still made your insides squiggly every time.

“Yup.” You forced out and almost fell, but Steven’s hold on you never faltered. “They should put me on the olympic team. Can’t waste my talents.”

“Oh yeah, it wouldn’t even be fair.” He nudged you with his shoulder, forcing you to spin your other arm out in awkward flailing circles to keep your balance with an embarrassing squeak. “They’d have to invent a new medal and everything.”

“Yeah?” You quirked your lips into a smile. “What would that be? Platinum?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of the cutest, most brilliant competitor ever seen, but platinum works just as well, I suppose.”

“Oh my god.” You stopped yourself halfway to a snort of laughter, grabbing ahold of his arm proper as you doubled over in an undignified fit. “You’re so fucking corny I can’t believe this.”

“All a part of the Grant signature charm. Just - just gets me all the ladies.” He had to hold back a laugh as he said it, and it was just about the best sound in the world. He’s so fucking cute.

You giggled, ducking your head and looking away.

But then your foot hit the ice wrong, sending you reeling, grabbing onto Steven tighter, but all that managed to do was drag him down onto the ice with you, landing you both flat on your ass with a smack, and your breath left you all at once and panic seized through you for no discernable reason.

Ow.

Steven didn’t look bothered in the least, smiling through what was surely a painful landing, and looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky despite the fact you’d just made him crash and burn.

You huffed, heart squeezing tight in your chest, squeezing his arm for support as you stood back up. “Alright, ladies man, I think I’ve earned some hot chocolate, you coming?”

“Of course.”

---

That night you dreamt of ice, the kind that comes in thick sheets that you can skate on, and that was exactly what you were doing, laughing with someone else as the bracing wind blew through your pretty dark hair.

Had your hair always looked like this? Well, in the dream it had, even though you were certain something about it was incorrect, if it was the color that was throwing you, or the texture or length.

Still, the you in the dream didn’t ponder the state of your hair, simply enjoying the way the snow blew past you and to the trees beyond, gathering speed as you careened toward an untouched section of ice, farther and farther away from the boy behind you, laughing all the way, eager to practice the jumps you’d been practicing back at the real rink back in town.

You leaped.

But you landed wrong, your ice skate crashing through the ice and causing the surface to shatter, leaving you with just a split second view of panicked blue eyes on the boy’s face before you fell into the freezing water.

In the shock of it all, you inhale water into your lungs, the white-hot burn of the cold hitting your whole body at once.

There was no Knight to even try to save you, this time.

You wake with a start, not even able to be comforted by Steven’s presence. It was still too soon to move in, and he was too afraid to sleep around you, anyway…

You sighed, sitting up and ducking your head between your knees.

Was it too much to ask that one of you get a decent night’s fucking sleep, for once?

---

Arthur Harrow was a busy man. Working to build a better world made certain of it - between the smaller aspects of helping the community, and the larger ones of finding the scarab that would lead to Ammit’s tomb.

As such, delegating was necessary.

Although now he somewhat regretted assigning this task to someone who he only spoke to once a month - Emmet really was a lovely man, but perhaps he took instruction too literally at times.

“I have an update on that curator you told me to keep an eye on.” They handed him a tablet, and he read through it absently as he gardened.

“That’s not -” He stopped himself mid-sentence before he got into the finer details of art conservatorship again, closing his eyes for a split second and shook his head. It didn’t matter one way or another what your exact title was, so he went back to reading, and then stilled. “She’s moved to London.”

How strange. She seemed attached to New York.

“And she’s working with Jackson.” Emmet added just as Arthur got to that point in the only two-paragraph long update he’d written.

Jackson. Arthur recognized the name - he presided over some of the dig sites that had the best chance of containing the scarab, if it was still buried.

It was precisely the kind of person someone working for Khonshu would want to get close to. Added with the sudden move, and the way Khonshu had insisted he save you - singled you out, even going so far as to open a portal and risk the attention of the others so he could pull you out of the flaming car before you burned all those years ago - well, that made a very clear picture in his mind as to what was going on.

Peculiar that Khonshu would pick someone with no fighting experience. But perhaps that wasn’t the kind of help the god needed at the moment.

“Call Doctor Jackson’s assistant,” Arthur looked to Emmet. “Let them know I’ll be stopping by to donate to their collection.”

#moon knight x reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #khonshu x reader #x reader #fanfiction #my writing #reader insert #ghost-blood

[ariapmdeol]

please post your coe theory

OK OK SO. I'll put this under the cut bc a) its long and b) it has spoilers for everything thats been translated so far (so up through hajime DLC!). This will involve predictions and theories that probably wont be relevant for a WHILE so there might be things that show up in hermits room/interlude/CoM! If you've played further than whats been translated into english please don't confirm or deny anything, I wanna find out as i play <3

anyways disclaimer over time for my elaborate theory time

HEAR ME OUT. Sanemitsu Isoi's power, his 'will', is the ability to rewrite the past/reality, which is also what the Harada Factor is. It's literally the ability to rewrite the world's definitions and change the world. LITERALLY REWRITING REALITY.

Mutei Harada did this to 'write' Seodore Riddle's Empyrean Cells into existence, which is the 'role' he was assigned (that of the announcer).

We know Sanemitsu is hesitant to use his ability (and hasn't in years). I think he's scared to use his ability to get back what he lost (OG reiji, rai, haruki/being a dad to haruki, hajime and utsugi and his friendships with everyone in the institute) because he knows if he retcons the timeline, he'd never meet Reiji, his SON, who he is so desperately scared of losing. Seodore mentions in Reiji's DLC that reiji is sanemitsu's number one priority, the one person who is desperately trying to hold on to. If Sanemitsu uses his ability, he cant guarantee that he'd be able to meet reiji again and be his dad,, Also, If Sanemitsu uses this ability, I don't think he'd remember the original timeline. I think he'd get bits and pieces, but not everything.

Seodore wanted Sanemitsu on his side because he wants him to Retcon his immortality/let him finally die. This is why he tells Hatsutori that it's not his INTENT to change the past, but as a result of his wish (removing his immortality), the past would change as a result. Seodore's factor (the Riddle factor? Empyrean factor? IDK) allows him to remember the other arrival points in some way. This is what the Purple TextTM is, and why his purple text appears at the end of each ending. it's META.

This also explains how seodore is in the right places at the right times to recruit people; he's slightly/somewhat aware of what happens in the other worldlines/arrival points. When he uses Brugmansia, he just decides on a timeline where That Thing Didn't happen. my evidence for this is the explosion in reiji dlc, which reiji SAW happen. But?? It didn't just look like seo regenerated, it looked like there had never been an explosion AT ALL. bc seo RETCONNED It. He picked a timeline where That Explosion Never Happened and slapped that bit onto our MAIN timeline.

Haruki inherited the Harada Factor, and used it at the end of Arrival Point S to retcon Reiji's death and save him, granting us Arrival Point S+. As an extension of this, All the other endings/loading saves are Haruki using the Harada Factor to fix/change the timeline. Seodore, as previously mentioned, is the purple text and is aware of our attempts to get the perfect ending. Haruki in S+ is aware of S, but not by a lot. I think it's like an impression... or like a dream? He knows SOMETHING happened as demonstrated by the 'no it's not our first time meeting' line, but I think it's more faded and in his subconscious more than anything.

I think Mutei is also immortal, and his assigned role is the Hermit. The story intentionally mentions that it's never confirmed that he's DEAD, just that it's been long enough that we can assume he is. Othmayer or however the heck we spell it... is seodores dead boyfriend. I dont think he died in the car crash, I think he died later somehow and I think he was involved in the mutei-seodore group. also i think that's the 'date' that seodore goes on once a year. Its not a date hes mourning his dead bf :(

In addition to that, I think the bit at the beginning of the DLC where we get the 'lets die together' line is Sanemitsu knowing that he's the only one who can kill seodore (by rewriting his immortality) but in doing so he kills himself. the self he is now. the self that Exists due to these circumstances and the Life hes lived up until now.

OVERALL. The whole narrative about writers, stories, and the COMEDY aspect of it all ties in here. its META. the very game mechanics that we take for granted are a part of the story.

The fact that seodore says that he was 'assigned' a role implies that there are multiple people involved, with other roles assigned. I think these are all the Factors (which are separate from the Fragments).

ALSO heres my prediction for CoM. SO in the dlc, sanemitsu mentioned that there are mirages in japan, and if people see too many of them they disappear. I think this is caused by either a factor or another fragment, and the plot will be solving this mystery. These mirages could be similar to the red/blue-green/yellow ghosts in coe!!

#cell of empireo #records of sanemitsu isoi spoilers #cell of empireo spoilers #records of sanemitsu isoi #coe spoilers #細胞神曲 #세포신곡 #anon #aria rambles #aria answers #i am making SO many assumptions here. #sanemitsu isoi #seodore riddle #mutei harada #only tagging these three bc theyre the ones im mostly talking abt <3 #anyways play coe in this essay i will #wait this. this is literally an essay isnt it #anyways heres the theory! #lmk if you need any clarification or anything #i genuinely think i figured it out fr

[cherishmangoes]

Life Taken for Granted

Guess what's making me write this stuff? A movie and I'll obviously mention its name later below. So what makes you think that you'll be alive tomorrow? You're 18? 10? 25? 50? name it, the youngest possible or even an age that seems to be where death doesn't knock its doors often, well lemme tell you if a guy at age 26 could have a heart attack, or a person who is 9 years old could go in a completely unresponsive state or god knows you're in a car accident and next time you wake up you have an episode of memory loss for whatever period of time, well you don't know what life could give you. It's funny how so many of us born so healthy yet don't question god or a doctor or whatever entity, why? Yet when an obstacle strikes us really bad of any kind, sometimes continuously, we always wonder "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why does it always happen to me?". We so many times forget to appreciate the simplest things in our life; our legs, they're able to walk mountains; our hands, so we could type or draw; our eyes see the most beautiful things like the people closest to us or the beauty of the world; or every little thing that people may do for us that goes unnoticed like the good mornings or the good nights, the breakfast that your parents have prepared for you or even the fact how clumsy/overprotective but cute your sibling can be or the time with your pet or the support of your friend even at the smallest times, its all really golden, and trust me there is so much more compared to what I have written, but well I bet you already know by now. My point for all of this? What guarantee you got that the person sitting across your dining table would be alive tomorrow? That could be anyone really. We have no idea about it yet we agonize about our life every minute of our precious time of what we're gonna do in the future. 10 years, 5 years down the lane where do you see yourself? Hell we don't even know what could happen the very next second. Look I get it we do set goals and have our dreams, ambitions and passion but

1. Don't get so lost in for the future that you forget to appreciate the now

2. If you don't know what you wanna do in life, or what you're gonna become, stop thinking and stressing about it so much, like stop and think just why are you so anxious about it? (Well this is coming from a person who has faced this and is probably facing it and trust me thinking about it wont do shit) well of course knowing your interests could help and one shouldn't be clueless about themselves or unaware of what's going around them but dude stop thinking and start trying out stuff, it could be jobs, programs, anything. Don't be so lost in thinking that you lose an amazing opportunity.

3. Start being grateful for life, I'm not saying that if you've faced something horrible or you are facing something like that right now, don't feel sad about it ,NO, that's wrong feel it, get help ,cry because you're only human but don't ever get so stuck in the void of darkness that all you do every time and all the time is sulk, whine, cry, become ungrateful and don't move past it. Instead of keeping it in your mind and not letting it go or trying to forget about it, keep it there but rather than crumbling it like a piece of paper and letting it occupy so much space in your mind, fold it neatly and keep it aside. Life is learning how to do that and life is so much more than just pain. So stop wasting your time on things that don't matter and start spending it with people and things that actually do. As it was once there in "In Time" the movie, if time was our currency rather than money, maybe we would know why to value it more than anything.

The movie that I teared up from was "The Awakenings" available on Netflix, revolves around mainly on a disorder which leads to a person becoming unresponsive. How people lose 10, 20, 30 years of life and come back to only know the whole world has changed, that they have aged. How sometimes people would like to be alive and normal, but what could be this normal? Just going on a walk or reading a book without any disturbances, enjoying such times. And so it leaves us with a lesson, a message that maybe its us who needs to be awakened to try and live life to its fullest extent, while we can by just talking, empathy, enjoying and gratitude. I hope this helped you or was maybe a useful piece of information. This is meant to be a reminder to people.

Thankyou!

(My apologies for any grammatical errors or just errors in general, it's my first time writing a blog and don't forget to watch the movies I have mentioned above, both are totally worth your time and available on Netflix)

#life stuff #thought #feeling #gratitude

[devinetheory-2]

I invited her into

that dark place

Deep in my heart

where my scars stay

Gave way to logic

even tho I drown inTears

from years of knowledge

From learning the hard way.

Moving in vain

Im thru with the pain...

However,

The thought of her 

makes my heart race 

exciting 

but apprehensive

like a car chase.

I need Something to believe in,

The face of an angel,

But the Body of a demon

Screaming of heartache.

But if u look behind her eyes

Past the reflection of the stars

Into a universe 

Thats soon to be ours

Her soul sings to me

A promise of

Heavens essence 

From

A universe of scars

From pain that existed 

way before me

the heroine of my story

It seems the angels

that warned me

In my language

of my prior anguish

before me

answered my dreams

and have now

sent me

one of there own down

for me

Now hes worried

As She makes him miss her

with a fury

within me desire burns me

like a thousand suns

There in that pile of wrinkled linen…

I was cast from the living

reborn

and now

some how

ive become undone.

Rising from the ashes

surprising my demise

is on track and

I am back on my back

fading back to blackness

Her memory 

provokes and haunts me

 ...attacks me silently

Seems everlasting

yet I cant wait go back

and relive the passion

an addict

that wont break the habit

her taste,

a place of satisfaction

I ache in that familiar place

where time and space

waste away

and only lonliness and pain seem to stay

Close my eyes and

I see her face

Fools pride - Undecided,

content tho

until the sun rises

and I ask my heart…

can I fly yet?

Can I let go

souls connected,

RUN,

I hear the word so clear

My minds objection

an attempt

to keep me protected

she came to me

Like a thief...ALL night

so affected, so subjective

Must have been

made up in my dreams

With all of the worlds

beautiful things

silently My mind screams

in my head and I won’t forget it

(RUN)

I know

no control, she folds, vulnerable

and unprotected

She cant expect that

I am the blessed one

however misdirected

(run)?

Why?

She makes me feel high

While we fly above the sky

like we sniffed the best shit

bliss quietness

the frantic warnings in my head

just

a faded memory

jaded

tired of being played with

But the only sound I hear

is in her chest and

it seems

her heart beats for me

But im still in the dark

Too hard to see

Her stars

Too far  to reach

Sparks arc

And it's hard for me

Cuz im Guarded...

heart hardened

From our defeat

So pardon me

If I start to see

Things out of order

With our decree

Seeing things

That make me believe 

That these sparks arent for me

Well maybe partially

To some odd degree

Since trust is such an oddity

Shits deep

Come get lost in me

Not sure what I expected...

Yes I know its reckless

But I would already do

just about anything for you

I hope I stand uncorrected

God grant me the ability

To accept the unexpected...

To always look at her like it’s the 1st time im in her presence...

Please remember me

remember me please

Angels breath

On my chest

I lost a few to get to you

And id do it all again

You see

you are

Forever burned into my memory…

until infinity

Bonded to my soul is where

Your love is $kept

[invitainvidia]

12/26/22

8 a.m.

i wake up. still half baked of last night. took over a restaurant in the countryside in november.strugglin*

get coffee. roll spliff.read sth.push away the visions of various, unfortunately very probable futures in which this species self destructs and stumble to the bath w][room>

fucked up skin..i had a slight cold just only fading..drugs..sorrow ..no sleep..too bruised and shattered to put a blade to it.

bathing, wanking, drinking coffee. planning that day .

we stopped celebrating christmas when covid started.

my son is 19 and he is beyond white lies.

[thinking of our son always lifts me up]

10 a.m.

must drive to my office to prepare an airbnb check in. restaurant open at 12. i light another spliff to tone me down.

last time checking the mirror if at least the red bruises have vanished after application of loads of moisturizer. i look frail. i dont give a fuck but i realize to be on the brink of a third burnout

11 a.m.

my in law always grants us his old cars. never get stopped by cops with these. perfectly unspectacular. non descript.

the warm leatherette.

this must stop.

11.44

Putting keys into keysafe . change code. print registrastion. write on airbnb. waiter calls. will be late. guy i hired 2 days ago calls. a lady wants a glass of whitewhine.

12.23

hurry to the car. construction work on the tram rails demands your patience like the 1 hour drive i will have to endure now.

we have loads of tourists,roadwork, pop up bicycle lanes and 4 millions idiots using 5 million cars. driving through berlin you cross oceans of time

13.16

to land in the next x_mess adventure.

water flows out of the sink of the kitchen floor- if i get a professional company we all will have worked all christmas just to pay that plumber. it is a small sea inbetween the cold houses.

my waiter works like a machine. a ruddy service soldier in a perfect trance of a hangover to come.

my new crew member is just 20. i already taught his mother how to work a bar. so. love that dynamic.

15.30

Gettin a big steak. i devour entierely and fight with the waiter about him having to wait. he won*t have to fix the music for our backroom x_mess reservation of 17.

16.00

we rent out some rooms there as well. 1 check in.

they complain. i give them another room. the they tell me the heating is off. i check. heating off in the whole house. i panic . i phone a plumber in Bulgaria.I apologize to the old and polite couple with health issues. I start sending pictures to Bulgaria and ask questions.

Finally. Fixed.

18.50

i order calameretti. i will cease to be a fake italian restaurant on new years eve.

I visit my friend markus in room no 9 .works for his rent.

19.45

last table. do the bar.waiter gets message his smallest son has high fever. middle son just had been severly sick. i tell him he may leave as soon as poss. without cleaning up.

find air bnb message that we missed to provide enough bedcloth..1 is missing. promise to supply them around midnight.

22.00

waiter runs off to take his son to the hospital. wont be able to work tomorrow. i will. i start cleaning.

and we check out the new.amp. m. has built. the inmost light.

23.33

Before i drive.i have to change one of the light.bulps of the cars headlights. i left on the parkings lots* flood lights. close down the place. leave it only half cleaned.

00.40

Drive to the air bnb . they sent another message demanding toiletpaper and shampoo.

01.56

home.spliff. tumblr. finished writing this 03.35.

[agents-of-virtue]

#8 for Second Chances?

(This has been sitting for... A While. But I’m in a mood. Take that how you will.)

8: Shielding the other one with their body.

Pairing: Second Chances (Agent Nephilim/Joan and Agent Ainsel/Josephine)

CW: Mentions of/acts of murder, infanticide, blood, blades, death(?), religion

Also, again, seven hour train ride. Proofread and edited as well as I can. Canon? Canon-adjacent? Divergent canon? Who knows? Certainly not me. 

It was like Stuttgart all over again. But worse. How could it possibly be worse? He thought that Borley burned that damn notebook. How did it fall into the wrong hands again? Joan shook the thoughts out of his head. They could be answered later. Right now, they were only proving to be a distraction from what he needed to be doing right now. This time the bastards brought the fight to them in Kentucky.

Joan was running. He needed to find Josie. Even with all the wards on the house, he wouldn’t be surprised if something in that book could break them. “Josephine?!” He all but slammed open the door. “Josie, where are you?” There wasn’t a sound. He cursed softly under his breath as he wiped blood from the corners of his mouth. Thankfully Lilith rallied the agents to be able to get an offensive going before he left. That’s at least one worry off of his shoulders.

He made his way around the house, checking the sigils and wards of protection. Some from fellow agents, some by his father. It wasn’t until he made his way towards the kitchen that he froze in his tracks. The porch door was ajar and in front of him... “How did you get in here?” Every muscle in his body was taut, ready to strike at a moments notice.

“Oh, is that any way to greet your cousin?” Her arms were crossed in front of her chest, dark hair wildly framing her face. Something was nestled in the hand that was tucked away... “I come all this way and I don’t even get a warm welcome? I’ll have to let my Father know...”

His fists were clenched. “How did you get in here?” Joan wont say anything else.

She rolled her eyes. “I think you know how. It’s like you forget we are of the same blood. Any magics that you can do, I can break. If not more.” A scoff left her. “And somehow you are the one that has lived the longest amongst the others...”

Joan wouldn’t move. One wrong step could be his death. It could also be hers, but he doesn’t want to take his chances. Not quite yet. “Is there any particular reason you are here?”

“Aww, can I not visit family?” A cold laugh left her. “Of course... At least you are smart enough for that. No... I came to finish what I started. Granted, I thought it was already finished. Who knew you could move on so fast? I mean, it was only the 60′s when I killed that girl and the parasite growing inside of her.” A sick and sadistic smile started to creep across her pale features. “I guess you just didn’t learn your lesson.”

He could feel his nails digging into the flesh of his palm, drawing blood. The moment he had found that out, he killed her. Granted, his cousin never stays dead for long. “You will have to kill me before I ever let you lay a finger on my wife again. I made the mistake of being gone last time. I am never making that mistake again.” Joan felt his entire body heat up. The last time this happened...

Their attention was drawn outside when they heard a car squeal into the driveway, door opening and slamming shut. Joan’s heart dropped as Anneke’s eyes lit up with vicious pleasure. “Don’t you dare say a word. One word and you die right where you stand as she walks through the door.” He heard the unmistakable unsheathing of the blade and screwed his eyes shut before the door opened.

“Joan!? Joan are you here?” The panic in Josie’s voice made his heart break. 

His cousin looked at him with brows raised. “I -” He cleared his throat. “I’m in here, dove.”

She rushed to the kitchen, only to freeze just like he did. “Joan?” The one time they crossed paths before, he had told her to run, Something tells her that he didn’t have an option to tell her so last time.

Anneke finally moved. “A pleasure to see you again, dear. You look positively,” dark eyes glanced down and then back up, “glowing. A pity I have to stop it here.” Her lips formed a practiced pout before uncrossing her arms. The blade shined in the fluorescent light as she pulled back to strike. “Oh wait.” Anneke turned her head to face her cousin. “You said I would have to kill you first. That can be arranged.”

Before he could say anything, do anything, even move to counter or strike back, Josephine screamed. He couldn’t tell what. All he heard was the air leaving her as the blade went through her chest. The shimmering blade dripped with her bright red blood, landing on the floor in front of him, before the blade was quickly pulled back out of her. His eyes were wide. No... That couldn’t have just happened. Why would she do that? She knew what that blade was, what it could do. Why?

“Oh...” Anneke looked down at them. “Well it’s no fun if she does that.”

Joan’s eyes snap up to her, no longer deep brown but a glowing, burning gold light. He held Josephine close to him. “If you can still hear me, and I pray that you can... Please... Please hold on for me. And...” He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “Look away.” 

Josie could only rasp out a gasping breath, feeling her own blood fill her lungs. All she could take note of was how warm she felt, being held in his arms, and how warm the floor was, even when he put her down. It was like the whole room was warm as some far away noise rang in her ears and everything started to fade...

He finally fell to his knees, skin on fire. Or at least, it felt like it. Joan all but crawled over to Josie, gently pulling her back into his arms. Prayers fell from his lips like water from a river. To his uncles, his aunts, his father. This was an unnecessary death. It was not her time. He needed her. As he went on, calling upon every deity and saint he could think of his prayers boiled down to just one phrase over and over. “Please... Please save her...” The tears falling down his face were just as hot as his skin. He can’t lose her. Not in the same way he lost his first wife and child, not in the same way he lost his mother. He can’t.

A stillness came back over the house. No sound. Not even the wind from outside... Joan held her close, his shoulders starting to shake as silently sobs wracked his body. 

It wasn’t until he felt a hand on his back that he quieted enough to pull away. Her dark eyes were open again. Dull, but open. Alive. “Josephine...?” A soft smile started to spread across her face at the sound of her name. “Oh dear God... oh God!” He started to sob again, but not out of sadness. Joan held her as close as he dared. “Thank you. Thank you...” At least he knew that someone was still listening.

#Second Chances #Agent Nephilim

[onlyjaeyun]

What I also wanted to tell you for a while now is that I absolutely adore your writing style and I'm one of the people that don't mind at all if there's no daily chap because that is LUXURY 🤨🤨

I'd rather wait for a week for a chap if it meant you have the time to make sure that you get enough rest, spend time with your bestie, or just straight up relax and not worry about uploading!! :( 🫶🏻

Reading your fics I just always notice how much thought and planning as well as love you put into it all and I hate that some people are probably making you feel pressured to upload daily even if you're maybe not feeling well or don't have time 🥹 some people need to understand that most people have their days filled with uni, school or work and sometimes doing anything after that is just exhausting and not fun at all. (Which, in my opinion, you would also be able to tell when reading the chap that would get put out in a mood like that)

I just write for myself and I don't plan to ever share that fic but even if it's kind of an outlet for me I sometimes don't write anything for weeks so I have soooo much appreciation for people that share their works and what their sexy brains can come up with for readers to enjoy. 💞💞💞💞

Uh, that was a lot of rambling. Sorry, baby. I just had that on my mind and wanted to share my point of view with you in case it idk makes you happy to hear that 🥺

Also gossip ps: I got an email earlier today that someone gave my block to my instructor 🤭 I am still confused why someone took it in the first place and why it was given to my instructor almost two weeks later but I'm also glad I get to have it back... that's a positive today!!!

Negative is that during my drive this morning, a warning light in my car went on. 😀

I had to make an appointment for Wednesday to get it checked because I can't drive the one plus hours home on Friday with that on and I was SO nervous when I called the workshop because I usually always go to the one in my home town.... like the lady asked me what car I drive and I was actually bluescreening for a second and went like "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh volkswagen" etc. so that was fun ahajsjsn

Okay, enough babbling. Sorry for rambling so much, angel 🥹

As always, I love you a lot and hope u take care of yourself 🫶🏻

-🐍

HELLO BABY SORRY FOR MY LATE REPLY!!! pls dont ever be sorry for rambling i literally love talking to you guys so much and it makes me happy since we're literally besties and i wanna know everything about your day!!!!🩷

first of all: youre gonna make me CRY. thank you so so so much for such sweet and heartfelt words baby, it will never fail to amaze me just how much love and support you guys have been sending my way and i will never take it for granted. 🥺🩷

im glad you got your block back tho its kinda weird bc like..why woumd you give smth back you stole i just?? maybe we manifested them to feel guilty so they gave it back?🤕 but either way im glad you got it back baby!

AAH THE LIGHT THINGIE IS SO SCARY 😭 i really hope you can get it fixed asap and wont have to worry too much about it baby!!!!

sending you the biggest kiss rn!🩷

#; mailbox 📬

[lizbethsletters]

letters | 001

This is a new concept, maybe it will be a hit or miss but I lost my journal the one I use to write letters when I'm trying to unscramble my thoughts or just when I can't tell them something. I can't believe I lost it I'm so mad at myself for losing it in the first place. This is that but without names.

Dear, dreams

We haven't talked in months. In a way I never thought there would come a day where we didn't talk. Right now, I need you. Which is fucked up because why am I needing you. You would know what to make of my thoughts you would unscramble them. I miss you but then I see that you still talk to those girls that you absolutely sweared you hated and reality hits. You had a talent to make me feel safe but you were the worst person to do that. You left and months later I think it was because of me. Weirdly, I am okay with that maybe it's because I knew there were better things for me out there but it was my mistake to trust you. Granted, at the time you made me the happiest person ever but now I look back at the memories and blame myself for letting me get caught up in the moment. Now, I need your help but I don't want to end up talking to you and it becomes a whole thing because of the people you still talk to. You would be the perfect person to help me because you would see this with the clearest eyes possible. You know, my strenghts and my weaknesses you saw us interact you would figure out if I was ever in love with them and why I feel the way I do. Alas, you can't because we stopped talking. Maybe one day I won't think of any of you. Maybe one day I live in the present rather than the past but that day isn't today. I still think of you when I see the car you want. I still think of you when I pass by our spots. One day I wont think of you at all that day I will be healed. Trust my word, I will never start a convo with you again I won't make that mistake again.

Yours Truly

Someone who can't forget you

#memories #letters #i miss you #words #what am i even doing #trust #thoughts #feelings #relationships #love #thank you #fuck you

[postmail]

hruugghh complaining inbound. im on my bus trip right now and. my god. i wasnt looking forward to this very much in the first place and yet i somehow still manage to be disappointed. heres my complaints in arranged into a list. apologies if this is repetitive, im not proofreading it. and sorry if its whiny. i am making this post specifically to whine

im rooming with three other people. two of them are cool. one of them is an underclassmen and. by god. this girl is annoying. shes always complaining about something, and majority of the time it doesnt even like. make sense? like one time she complaining that she felt like she was required to go to the pool, just in general, not with anyone or anything. why would we make you go to the pool? why?? i dont know. her logic is an enigma. i think if she stops having stuff to complain about she dies. also, she keeps following us around. this one is kind of petty but for some reason being followed has always made me irrationally nervous or irritated, even if its like. having a minecraft dog follow me. idk its just something that really bothers me for some innate reason. this chick just presses my buttons. not her fault, but still. ugh

i have virtually no privacy, no real alone time. i share a room, i share a bus, we all share everything at every waking moment. i am never not in the presence of at least one other person. and by god does it suck. and plus, being a part of such a huge crowd at almost all times makes me nervous. im at the whims of all these other people, i can only do what the majority wants to do. and i am historically bad at wanting what everyone else wants

most of these people are people i dont know very well. theyve spilt the rooms based on gender, which is to be expected, but still sucks ass because i get along better with most of my male peers than my female ones. most of the people that are on this trip are in the grade below me (its the juniors and the sophomores, im a junior) and i dont know or like them very much. i find myself wishing it was just my grade, or that i skipped this trip altogether

i came here entirely to learn about history. this trip IS a good portion history, but its also dumb touristy stuff idgaf about. the one museum weve went to already was out of my mind boring, it was a jfk museum, and i didnt think i knew very much about jfk going in, but now coming out i feel like i knew more than that entire museum. it felt like i was having all my old, vastly more interesting and fun history lessons be rehashed to me, it a significantly more drab and boring way.

this ones petty and dumb but. we are going to the ocean. i do not like the ocean. i am worried we are going to spend an entire at the ocean. i would rather do literally anything else

i have heard we are going on a dolphin watching cruise. i get seasick when im these kinds of boats. yayyyyyyyyy

the most i have had on this trip is when we are just driving around in the bus. im starting to think it is literally the only thing ive liked so hard. granted im the kind of person that enjoys long car rides (unless its a route a know well, then its just boring), but still

this is all taking place during the majority of my holiday break. i would really rather just be home, actually doing stuff i like and chillaxing. but nooooo i just had to go on this trip, effectively wasting my entire vacation. thinking about this one frankly just makes me feel miserable. i wanna go HOME this is so LAME

after fundraising, my parents spent absurd amounts of money to get me and my sister on this trip. and i just called my mom crying about how miserable i am here

all of my friends, excluding the one that is here, are back at home. i like my classmates, but we aren’t friends. i want to hangout with my friends, not my peers from school and... the younger ones

my book didnt fit in my bag. i really wish i had my book right now

these hotels are capitalist nightmares that wont let me use wifi despite being a paying customer w/o an account, which i am unwilling to make because. well because fuck that. why the fuck should i give you my personal info just for some wifi i should just get, because i am paying to be here. wth

alright thats all i can think of. im sorry if you read this far, all the way through my whining. hopefully ill have a better time soon. we’re going to the alamo soon and thats. cool. i guess. if i dont think about anything else

#long post #vent #txt

[air-water-generator-nk5]

Save Money with An Electric C

How You Will save a Lot of grant by Owning and Driving an Electric Car In todays economy, we have to incline the fact that we infatuation to save grant for emergencies. subsequently the habit the economy is drama nowadays, you essentially cant increase subsequently it comes to saving money. This is moreover one of the reasons why more and more people are now selling their pass gasoline powered cars and are buying electric cars.

So, just how can electric cars make you save a lot of money? For starters, electric cars control purely on electricity. This means that if you own and steer an electric car, you no longer have to buy gasoline or any new petroleum products ever again in order for you to skill your car or make your car run. This is the main advantage of electric cars. So, just how get electric cars work? Basically, electric cars enactment by using electricity to make the wheels of the car roll. Its essentially definitely much subsequently your battery-operated RC car but on a larger scale. Just think of it as a large RC car where you have batteries for skill and that you can actually ride in it. Also, then again of using a snooty control to make the car go direct or reverse or incline or stop, you control the car just subsequently your average gasoline powered car. You infatuation to understand that electric cars are not a new concept. In fact, this concept has existed since the first car was developed. The idea of electric car was scrapped support in those days because the technology for efficient battery and lighter materials for the cars body still didnt exist. It took hours on hours to encounter the batteries and the skill to weight designate for the car was essentially terrible. Electric cars in the subsequently were expensive and it wasnt essentially as practical as gasoline powered cars. Even today, gasoline powered cars are still more powerful than electric cars. But, because of the unstable price of gasoline and moreover because of the recent global economic crisis, the electric car idea was resurrected as some people may characterize it. Initially, electric cars were developed because of the growing concerns for the quality and moreover global warming. However, because of the financial crisis that the amass world is experiencing today, electric cars are now becoming definitely popular accompanied by a lot of people. Unlike in the past, electric cars today are now equipped subsequently the latest battery cell technology, which essentially made it more efficient and moreover a lot more practical. In addition to that, electric cars are now made a lot smaller and are moreover made subsequently lighter materials. augment this subsequently powerful electric motor and disclose of the art battery cell technology, you will have a fine skill to weight ratio. Today, you will look that you will not forlorn save grant on gasoline if you own electric cars. The batteries are as a result efficient that a single encounter that will cost you a dollar on your electric financial credit will now be skillful to say yes you a hundred miles or even more. And, because the federal handing out is encouraging people to buy electric or hybrid cars, you will moreover enjoy tax breaks offered by the handing out for people who own and use electric cars. As you can see, electric cars can essentially support you save a lot of money. As an bonus bonus, you will moreover contribute to the well-being of the quality and moreover support stop the effects of global warming. These are the benefits of owning and using an electric car. It wont be long in the vanguard that you will look that more and more people will now begin using electric cars as their primary vehicle for transportation. https://savemoneywithanelectriccar.blogspot.com/2022/11/save-money-with-electric-car.html ev-home-charger-installers electric-car-charging-station-installation https://erctaxcreditconstruction.blogspot.com/ https://erctaxcreditconstruction.blogspot.com/2022/11/erc-tax-credit-construction.html https://fitnessformen594.blogspot.com/ https://fitnessformen594.blogspot.com/2022/11/fitness-for-men.html https://persianrugrepairbuenapark.blogspot.com/

[thoughts-and-all-that]

my brother is such an entitled manbaby.

he constantly talks over everyone in any interaction and has to be right about everything because god forbid he be anything but an alpha.

i am literally afab and queer and this man has, on multiple occasions, tried to mansplain feminism and queer issues to me. i have dedicated many hours, days, weeks, months, years of my life to not only studying these two things but participating in that kind of life. im a feminist. im literally queer. i change my actions and wording to best fit because i know how important words can be. he talks just to talk.

ive barely seen him in months because hes always with his drama loving girlfriend, i mean, she literally defended the kardashians when i said they were garbage. she loves reality tv. she cant help but fight with another person whos usually in this house which is its own can of dumbass worms. shes nice to me but i barely know anything about her and i fear if i learn more ill probably hate her. i dont care that hes spending all that time with her, if it makes him happy, whatever. its just weird that ive basically said all of less than 100 words to him in months.

but honestly, even if we did hang out again, itll be the same song and dance as before. we only play what he plays. its only when he wants to cause god forbid he stop what hes doing for anyone else.

he says 'oh just come and hang out whenever!' but if i go down there he will just ignore me for his games and shit. god forbid he sacrifice a little of himself for me. ive been wanting to play the last chapter of a game with someone for months and hes the only person who ever played it with me and it takes ages in singleplayer. in another game he wont dare help me with a mission ive been needing done that i cant do on my own, cause it doesnt benefit him.

i dont think he even knows how to make more than a few dishes and he basically refuses to learn more, and i think ill probably see him dead before he dares make something that isnt ramen at home. he either eats out or insists our dad makes food and he throws a hissy fit if our dad doesnt make food or get food out.

man speaking of hissy fits, this man gets beyond pissed at every inconvenience. this is why hes a manbaby most of all. yelling, screaming, punching inanimate objects. he doesnt hurt other people directly but it ruins a mood pretty quick when someone throws a yelling tantrum over a game not working for 0.2 seconds.

he thinks the world revolves around him and refuses to entertain that maybe it doesnt. granted, our parents spoiled him when he was young, but i cant blame them. they went through something horrible around that time and simply didnt want him to suffer even though they were, and he still was cause it affected him too, but they didnt want that to ruin him. they were just trying their hardest to make sure he was happy.

its on him that hes an overgrown 12 year old. its on him that he doesnt dare take a look at himself and wonder if maybe he should tweak his personality just a little.

i say all of this over a seemingly petty recent happening, honestly.

i am miserable in my house. its a disgusting mess constantly and im always the one cleaning the worst parts aside from my dad and sometimes my other brother, though my other brother usually has to clean up after his kids, which is another point of frustration. i love those kids but its infuriating to deal with people who dont, and in this case, cant listen to you. theyre so young that english is mostly just sounds to them, theyre only just starting to learn how to speak. they cry over stupid shit, take off their diapers at every chance, and tear shit up. theyre the cause of most messes that arent in the kitchen, and even in the kitchen. outside of that stuff we are broke because of bullshit outside of our control, and i cant drive and dont have a job because im terrified that ill crash a car because its so overwhelming, or that getting a job will make me feel a way that i dont want to feel if i can help it, and i dont have any fucking real life friends, and barely any online ones anymore

all that to mean, i get no peace in my life. at every turn i run into something that makes me want to cry my eyes out and run away but theres no where i can run to. i hold tightly onto the smallest things that bring me relief, like my art, or the things i like to consume like shows and books and youtube videos about who knows what, and just. things i can control even a little. my room is the cleanest in the house in pretty much every aspect and i keep it that way with an iron fist.

and, to be gross, its nice to sit on the toilet and stare at my phone in the morning for a few minutes in a usually warm room that has very little going on (the most happening is trash on the floor.) and no ones gonna barge in and make me do who knows what instead of what i want. i know i sit in there a bit long but i mean, we literally have 2 bathrooms in this house, idc that you dont want to go into my dads room in the morning, just look the other way from him! hes asleep hes not gonna care!

and this guy who i have seen and talked to so few times in months, who i honestly at this point have wished would move out of this house for years for so many reasons, who made both times we went to six flags so obnoxious, one of them because he brought a fucking 2 year old to an amusement park in mid winter i mean seriously what the fuck did you think would happen,

he fucking tried to tell me how to use the bathroom? 'oh, stop being in there so long youre making people wait when they shouldnt have to' first off, theres two bathrooms, second off, i aint ever heard yalls asses fucking knock on that door to even tell me that someone was fucking waiting, and third off

shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!! im so tired of your entitled spoiled brat wannabe hillbilly ex military wannabe alpha ass. just shut up and move out already, jesus fucking christ.

asshole making me insecure about using the fucking toilet in my own home. ill fucking shit on your bed see how you feel about that.

theres an advantage to no one reading these posts on this blog that no one looks at. i really can say the stupidest shit.

plus, my family will never find this blog. none of them use tumblr, they would never look at the tags i use on this blog, and even if they saw this blog theyd never click on it. no one clicks on it, its a vent blog.

fuck you, brother. im sick of sacrificing myself for people who wouldnt fucking do the same for me. i got this mad over a petty thing but honestly it really is about the bigger picture. the picture paints someone id never associate with if i wasnt stuck with you by blood and household.

ill probably feel different later. i get so easily swayed by talking to people even though when im alone i always come to the same conclusion.

im fucking miserable here.

#vent #ignore me #personal