#grayro

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Hello everyone! We wanted to do a piece talking about the intersectionality of disabled and aspec identities and experiences - does this ring true to your experiences? What did we miss? Info on the images are written out below and included in alt text.

[Text reads: July is Disability Pride Month. Let's discuss Disability and Aspec Identity. While individuals may be both aspec and disabled, the two groups also have many similarities outside of people who exist in both. Ableism and aphobia, while both robust issues on their own, have intersecting pain points. Ace and aro people may be accused of being "sick" or "unnatural", and in need of a cure. Simple existence is conflated with suffering, and some people may be more invested in "fixing" aspec people rather than accepting them.

The idealized future - long life, independent living, marriage, children, etc - does not necessarily leave room for people in these groups. Disabled and aspec people can definitely have wonderful futures, without adhering to ableist and amatonormative notions of what a future should look like. Both groups are frequently treated as an afterthought in the realms of legislation/political advocacy and community care*. *A great time to remind y'all that we are still in a pandemic. Wear a mask.

People who are both disabled and aspec may deal with the added stress of stereotype threat*. Stereotype threat is the anxiety and stress that comes from possibly confirming a negative stereotype about the demographic one is apart of. Stereotype threat may arise due to the stereotype that disabled people are not suitable for romantic and/or sexual relationships, or due to the stereotype that asexuality and aromanticism are signs of illness or dysfunction. *Stereotype threat can occur to people of any minority demographic - age, race, gender, orientation, etc.]

#ace #aro #aspec #disability pride month #aromantic #asexual #aroace #alloaro #alloace #gray ace #grayro #also let us know if alt text in the caption is unhelpful #we don't want to assume everyone has a screen reader or knows how to access alt text

[artsyaech]

reblog for a bigger portion size

#aromantic #aech polls #aro #grayromantic #grayro #demiromantic #aegoromantic #cupioromantic #frayromantic #lithromantic #aroflux #reciproromantic

[saffigon]

I know I'm the Loveless Heartless Badass Guy on aro tumblr, but we, as a community, must work on supporting the more romance favorable, the lovequeer and arolovic, the romoaro, the greyspec etc part of the community.

The recent shift in focus to lovelessness, heartlessness, repulsion has been great in giving representation to those that feel underrepresented, but it is ultimately coming with the cost of pushing out those that enjoy and enjoy experiencing romance and love. That's not to say that those that are favorable, lovequeer, romo aro, greyspec, etc cannot also be loveless, heartless, repulsed, etc. Nor is it to say we should now push the loveless, heartless, repulsed folks out of the community. Or that lovelessness, heartlessness, or repulsion doesn't also experience strife still.

It is instead to say: we as a community are fostering a space of romance negativity, and to a certain degree, love negativity. Treating romance or love as something evil, something weird or wrong, equating them to illnesses: these are all the examples of romance negativity seeping into our community.

Romance and love still have a place in our community just as much as not experiencing them do. The unique intersection of being arospec and experiencing romance; The unique intersection of being loveless and lovequeer; These experiences are so important to our community and ultimately enrich it. We as an aromantic community must do better.

#aromantic #aro #arospec #romo aro #greyspec #lovequeer #grayspec #grayro #greyro #romoaro #greyromantic #grayromantic #romance favorable #romance positive #heartless aromantic #heartless aro #loveless aro #loveless aromantic #romance repulsed #romance negativity #romance positivity #romance negative #arolovic #aromanticism

[gothfatherr]

discovering I'm greyromantic and not aromantic has to have been one of the peak moments this year, that and also that I'm GAY not bisexual.

"how did this happen?"

well, at the beginning of this year I was going to hook up with a very beautiful woman, I got to her house and we kissed...I didn't feel anything. I wasn't feeling anything at all, and I felt terrible. like jfc it was a 40 minute bus ride + 20 minute walk to get here and nothing is happening to me. I felt horrible, we just ended up laying in bed talking, and I left an hour later.

it was the worst hook up experience I've ever had and also my FIRST one with a woman. so this is where my journey began into questioning my sexuality all over again. it took me months to finally come to terms with the fact that yeah, I'm QUEER AS FUCK, I'M GAY, I LOVE MEN.

part of the fact that it took me so long to accept it, is because I'm a trans man, and I felt like I had no place within the gay community. I've always been rejected by gay men (for being trans), but never bisexual men. so I felt "safer" with them, they didn't care. but I've encountered so many transphobic gay men throughout these past couple of years...it just hurt, it really did. I felt like I would never be enough for a gay (cis) man, so I could never be a part of the community.

now, as of november 2023, I could give less of a fuck if someone accepts me or doesn't accept me as a gay man, because I accept myself and that's enough for me.

#aromantic #lgbt #queer #aromantic spectrum #arospec #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroallo #grayromantic #grayro #greyro #greyromantic #technically i am greyro #aro #gay #bisexual #trans #trans man

[everything-greyromantic]

Greyromantic culture is having felt romantic attraction but still not understanding it at all

#greyromantic #grayromantic #arospec #aromantic #💚🩶🤍🩶💚 #not an ask #greyro #grayro

[zupawama]

"aloy falls in love with someone at the end of burning shores so now she can't be any flavor of aro anymore :'(" wrong. and stupid. as a grayro person, i know exactly what i'm looking at when i look at aloy, who has never fallen in love with anyone in her entire 20-ish years of living until just now

#aloy #hfw aloy #hfw spoilers #hzd #hzd aloy #seyka #aloy x seyka #grayromantic #grayro #aro #arospec #horizon forbidden west #horizon spoilers #horizon forbidden west spoilers #seyka hfw #burning shores

[ace-of-hail]

Platonic crushes are so much more interesting and fun than romantic crushes

Like, there's a lot of overlap, but being best friends with someone seems a lot less stressful and demanding than bring their romantic partner

#aromantic #aromantism #aro #greyromanticism #grayromanticism #greyromantic #grayromantic #greyro #grayro #tbh i'm not entirely sure how well i'd fare in a romantic relationship #like it sounds fun and all but it also kinda sounds really stressful #being best friends and subverting societal norms by doing things traditionally thought of as romantic sounds more fun

[bitchwholoveslife]

Being arospec is just being asked how many crushes you've had/who you've been romantically into and all that comes to mind is like two unobtainable celebrities, five fictional characters, and the 1 (one) real person you think you might have had a crush on 6 years ago

#text #gay shit #bitchwholoves.text #arospec #aspec #aro #aromantic #greyro #greyromantic #grayro #grayromantic #grey aromantic #grey aro #gray aromantic #gray aro

[that-girl-glader]

This post is for the Greyromantic/Arospecs/Aromantics who feel or have felt romantic attraction. Do you also have two yous in your head when you have a crush or had were you're like so like delulu and helpless, but at the same time you're judging yourself in an Aromantic judging romance typa way. Because I am. Like I'd be oh omg this personnnn!! and also omg this person? Like I am to myself what an aroace is to their allo friend.

#greyromantic #aromantic #arospec #greyro #grayromantic #grayro #aromantic spectrum #lgbtqia #lgbt #lgbtq #queer

[centrumlumina]

not alloromantic not aromantic but a secret third thing (wtfromantic)

#asexuality #aromanticism #aromantic #quoiromantic #wtfromantic #gray aromantic #grayro #asexual #actually asexual #i'm sure other people have done this before but it popped in my head and i had to

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Our Book is Out!

We are thrilled to announce that our first book is out, published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers! This book is the result of a lot of collective work in order to create a thorough informational book that goes well past 101 material. You can purchase the book from a bookseller near you or at our Bookshop page: https://bookshop.org/p/books/ace-and-aro-journeys-a-guide-to-embracing-your-asexual-or-aromantic-identity-the-ace-and-aro-advocacy-project/18972871?ean=9781839976384

We are having our first book launch event on Sunday, May 21st, at Busboys and Poets Takoma in Washington DC. You can sign up to attend in person or view the livestream here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ace-aro-journeys-a-busboys-and-poets-books-presentation-tickets-621223886367

[Image Description: The first image reads “Hot Off The Press! Ace and Aro Journeys is now published! We are so glad that our first book, a guide to understanding and embracing an ace or aro identity, is now available for purchase. Buy it from your local bookstore or request it from your local library!” Pictured is the front of the book, with arrows of various aspec identity flags on it, and the title "Ace and Aro Journeys."

The second image reads “Ace and Aro Journeys. Join us for a deep dive into understanding and coming into your own ace or aro journey with several authors from The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project. Sunday, May 21, 2023, 5 PM, Busboys and Poets Takoma. For more information go to busboysandpoets.com/events.” Pictured is the front of the book, with arrows of various aspec identity flags on it, and the title "Ace and Aro Journeys." End ID.]

#ace #aro #aspec #aromantic #asexual #image described #aroace #alloaro #alloace #aroallo #grayro #gray ace #demiromantic #demisexual

[palatteflags]

Jiraiya sensei from Naruto based Grayromantic moodboard~ ^^ For an anon!! Hope you like~

Want one? send an ask!! -mod Jay

#jiraiya #jiraiya sensei #naruto #naruto jiraiya #jiraiya naruto #gray #grayro #grayro pride #gray pride #grayromantic #arospec #arospec pride #pride #lgbt #lgbtqia #flag edit #flag edits #pride flag edit #pride flag edits #lgbtqa #edits #edit #moodboard #mood board #moodboards #mood boards #mood #moods

[strawberryy-fields]

Happy Pride to all the grayromantics out there!!

I wanted to take the time to talk and bring awareness to grayromanticism, because I’ve noticed that it doesn’t get talked about as often as aromanticism in general, or other parts of the community. Prepare for this to be long, because I have a lot to say.

To start off, for those who aren’t familiar, the term “grayromantic” is similar to “graysexual”, in that it refers to the “gray area” between being aromantic (experiencing no romantic attraction) and alloromantic (experiencing “normal” romantic attraction). This can mean different things to different people, but a common definition is that a person experiences romantic attraction to an extremely lesser degree than alloromantic people. It falls under the aromantic umbrella, and is used to distinguish those with extremely limited romantic attraction from those with absolutely no attraction.

This can look different for different people, and can exist alongside other sexualities! I myself am grayromantic and bisexual, and felt that these were the best labels to describe myself because while I am bisexual, I experience romantic attraction extremely rarely.

Growing up, I simply didn’t have crushes. Not on people I knew, not on celebrities, not on fictional characters. I had friends, and music artists I enjoyed keeping up with, and fictional characters that were my favorites and that I even fixated on, but at no point was there a desire to date them, to be with them, to want them to be mine in any way. The romantic aspect didn’t exist.

Now, I think that the important part to discuss here is that while its rare, grayromantic people CAN experience attraction. And this is the part that I feel gets left out.

My first ever crush was in high school, and it is the only crush that I ever remember having before meeting my current partner. And it was intense!! It was exactly the thing that had always been described to me, that felt like some fairy tale, or something that only existed in movies, and not in real life. The butterflies, the way my mind was on him constantly, the nervousness and the giggles, the whole shebang. It was exactly like the stereotype.

But after that crush faded (and it took a looong while to fade), it was just gone! And it would be years before I experienced anything even remotely similar.

I am now in a committed romantic relationship. I met my partner a few years ago, and while it wasn’t as dramatically intense as that high school crush I had, I felt the feelings arise in a way they hadn’t since then, years ago. And I got so, so lucky that he felt the same way, because being grayromantic, I had accepted that the likelihood I would ever experience a romantic relationship was very slim, because the likelihood that one of the rare few I would feel that kind of attraction for would happen to feel the same felt impossible, and I had made peace with that.

I am grateful to have my partner in my life, and I am happy with him, and I experience romantic feelings towards him, and I am still grayromantic. My past experiences are not erased by the relationship that I am in now, and if somehow this relationship were to end, I don’t feel that my relationship with romantic attraction in general will have changed.

There are people who will say that having that experience at all means that you are not aromantic, and are not welcome in aromantic spaces. And while yes, it is important for those who are strictly aromantic and no-romo aromantic people to have a space to themselves, it is also the case that for the majority of my life, I have not experienced romantic attraction, and that during that time, the thing that kept me from feeling absolutely broken as a person was the aromantic community.

I was able to see that I wasn’t alone in these experiences! That there were others who had fake crushes in order to fit in, and who thought that a stereotypical crush was a myth, or only fictional, and who felt extremely excluded amongst our very amatonormative society.

The point of grayromanticism is that its gray! Its that you experience a little bit of both. You are too aromantic to be considered fully allo, and too alloromantic to be considered fully aro. You can relate with the experiences that aromantic people have, and you are familiar with what romantic attraction feels like. It can be hard sometimes, not feeling like you’re enough for either end of the spectrum. I am here to say that there is a place for you.

I am here to say that if you are grayromantic, the times that you have romantic feelings don’t erase that. They are a part of that. And if those feelings ever get returned, and you are in a romantic relationshilp, that does not erase your grayromanticism, and your aromantic experiences in the past. You are still a part of this community. I see you, there are others that see you, and you have a place here.

I am grayromantic and proud. While this isn’t necessarily meant to be a post all about me, I wanted to share my experiences in hopes that it would help others to know that they aren’t alone in theirs. Thank you for listening, if you’ve made it this far. And to all the other grayromantics out there, thank you for being you, and for being a part of this community. You helped me to realize a lot about myself, and I only hope to be able to give something back in return.

Happy Pride!

#pride #pride month #aromantic #grayromantic #gray aromantic #grayro #aro #aro pride #grayro pride #greyromantic #grey aromantic #greyro #lgbtq

[greyromantic-culture-is]

Greyromantic culture is feeling alienated by both alloromantics and aromantics

.

#aro #aromantic #arospec #aspec #grayro #grayromantic #greyro #greyromantic #greyromantic culture is

[flag-mashups]

Grayromantic + Aplatonic + Graysexual + Transmasc =

(Please read pinned post before interacting! <3)

Grayromantic - Someone who experiences romantic attraction rarely.

Aplatonic - Someone who does not experience platonic attraction and/or someone who lacks the desire to form friendships with specific people and/or someone who finds forming friendships in general as difficult due to nerodivergence or trauma.

Graysexual - Someone who experiences sexual attraction rarely.

Transmasc - A not binary trans person who presents more masculine.

#grayromantic #grayaro #grayro #aplatonic #graysexual #grayace #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #arospec #acespec #aspec #transmasc #flag combo #flag mashup

[boywithbear]

Already back with another coining since I need a neurosexuality to best describe myself and I'm coining it's romantic counterpart with it; cloudsexual and cloudromantic, based on cloudgender.

Cloudsexual is an acespec identity where you don't know if you truly experience sexual attraction or not due to depersonalization/derealization.

Cloudromantic is an arospec identity where you don't know if you truly experience romantic attraction or not due to depersonalization/derealization.

Cloudsexual flag is based on asexual color (purple) and color I've seen associated with sexual attraction (red), since you don't know where you stand between the two.

Cloudromantic is the same concept but with aromantic color (green) and the color I've seen associated with romantic attraction (pink).

With cloudsexual having purple on bottom like the asexual flag, and cloudromantic with green on top like the aromantic flag.

These are not meant to be used as a label to stop people from working through recovery, but rather to help describe a current experience when no other words/terms really fit.

[Flag Descriptions: Flag on the left is the cloudsexual flag, it has 5 horizontal stripes with the top two being shades of red, a darker red then a lighter red, and the bottom two being shades of purple, a darker purple at the bottom and a lighter purple above it. The color in between is a lighter color that is a blend between red and purple. There is a lavender purple fluffy cloud in the center of the flag with a purple outline around it.

The flag on the right is the cloudromantic flag. It also has 5 horizontal stripes, the top two shades are green, the top being a darker green and then a lighter green, and the bottom two being shades of blush pink, darker at the bottom then lighter above it. The middle stripe is lighter than the rest and a blend between pink and green, leaning more towards pale green. There is a light green fluffy cloud in the center of the flag with a grass green outline around it.

End of flag descriptions.]

#neurosexuality #flag coining #term coining #cloudsexual #cloudromantic #cloudgender #asexual #aromantic #acespec #arospec #aspec #depersonalization #derealization #dissociation #neurosexual #neurodivergent #grayace #grayro #grayasexual #gayromantic #grayaromantic #my flags