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#grayson dolan angst
tw1nklet03s · 1 year
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heyyy. long time no see!!
ik ik, ive been M.I.A for over a month. but! that’s just case ive been going through stuff and i’m kinda stuck on what to write.
so saying that! my requests are open. so feel free to comment or message me something you would like me to write!!
people i will accept requests for:
- rafe cameron
- colby brock
- rowan laslow
- drew starkey
- jj maybank
- grayson dolan
- david dobrik
- ilya fedorovich
- jeff wittek
- chris sturniolo
categories i will accept
- smut
- fluff
- angst
- or you could combine two!
- or all three!!!!
- dad imagines
things i won’t write about
- cheating
- abusive boyfriend
- r@pe
- sa
ok that’s all. love yous and take care of yourselves x
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ruewrote · 1 year
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𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙.
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PAIRING: grayson dolan x fem!reader WARNINGS: creepy guys GENRE: angst to fluff SONG INSPIRATION: heart to heart by mac demarco WORD COUNT: 813
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you had been walking home from the club, stumbling a little in your heels, feeling the slight buzz of the alcohol that you recently consumed, but feeling more anger than anything else.
standing on the edge of the curb, rummaging around in your bag looking for your phone. cursing yourself for mindlessly tossing it in there earlier.
"hey honey! looking for a good time?" you stopped searching for it, slightly glancing up through your lashes at the older man in worn down clothes started to make his way over towards you.
his arms stretched out with a drunken smirk.
"no thank you." with that said you turned back to what you were doing previously, not realising the man had gotten even closer to you than before.
him wrapping his arms around you, letting out a scream telling him to get off of you and to leave you alone.
cursing yourself for leaving so late and to make matters worse there not being many cars or people around.
that's when you thought you were thoroughly fucked. hands struggling against his tall figure, even as you thrashed against him - you weren't able to overpower him. regretting not slipping your pepper spray into your handbag since you assumed thay you were gonna stay with friends.
"hey! she said to let her go."
the creep soon let his calloused hands slip away from you slightly to find where the voice was coming through, as he did - a fist was met with his jaw and he fell to the floor with a thud, the kind stranger gently pushed you behind him.
towering over the bastard, yelling all sorts of profanities. the creep just laid there holding his jaw before scrambling off of the floor in the other direction.
you were now shivering from the cold and adrenaline, just thankful for his timing. wrapping your arms around yourself as your teeth chattered.
"hey, hey it's okay now. he's gone, here take this!" that's when he shrugged his hoodie off and pushed it onto your shoulders, not really questioning anything, pulling it tighter around your body.
your eyes had been stuck looking at your feet since he had helped you, slightly shaken up.
you were pleasantly surprised when you did lock eyes with the stranger, his hazel eyes shining in the streetlight that hovered above the both of you.
he had such pretty eyes -- scratch that all of him was pretty! well from what you could see at least. plump lips, kind eyes, fluffy hair. he easily stood at six foot. towering over you like the other guy did but this time you felt no threat.
a wide and contagious smile spread across his features one that reached his eyes.
"bit of a bad way to start off an introduction, but hi i'm grayson!"
his arm stretched out lending a hand to shake yours, you accept the gesture by giving his a soft shake returning it with your own name.
"yo gray! what happened..?" another voice was heard from behind you, still feeling jumpy turning around quickly, shuffling back to grasp grayson's arm and try to hide yourself behind his large build.
"hey, hey it's okay. i know him, he's my brother you're safe." grasping your hand in his.
as the other person came into view, he looked alot like the one that had just helped you. removing your hold on gray, still standing firmly at his side.
"some asshole tried forcing himself on her, not that she needed my help, but i kinda decked him then he ran off." the twin clicked his tongue, shaking his head his eyes flickering from the ground to you, checking you over.
"deserved. are you alright..?"
realising he was speaking to you, you stopped playing with the hoodie sleeve. "y/n and yeah it was a bit of a shock, i was just lucky that grayson was nearby when it occurred." your voice still a bit shaky from the encounter.
it was decided that the twins wanted to make sure you got home alright, you protested, but your complaints fell upon deaf ears.
they were even kind enough to buy you a hot chocolate at a near by diner beforehand.
the drive to your house was silent, all was heard was the clicking of the turn indicator every now and then. a soft pop song played in the background as you zoned out.
it didn't take long to get to your house, them both wished you a farewell as you started to walk to your front door not before putting your number into gray's phone, he said for quote on quote 'if you ever need to be saved again' with a wink.
closing the wooden door, leaning your back up against it, a small grin laid on your lips as you took off your heels.
realising that you still had his hoodie on.
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© ruewrote.
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google1000 · 2 years
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Grayson Dolan Masterlist
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Oldest~ Top of Section
Youngest~ Bottom of Section
⭐️-Smut❤️-Fluff 💔-Angst 🚫-None 💙-Incorrect Quote
🪢- Polyamorous 🍷-Alcohol🩸-Blood ☠️-Death 🤰-Pregnancy
🚺- Female Character 🚹- Male Character ⚧- Gender Neutral Character
Grayson Dolan
Good As New by MillionDollarDaylight⭐️🚺
Getting Pulled Over By Police Gray by BabyBoyDylan⭐️🚺
The Watcher by DolanDolll⭐️🚺
Grey Sending You A Picture Of His Nipple… by TurtleManGrayson⭐️🚺
Grayson Picking Out A Tattoo For You by MillionDollarDaylight ❤️🚺
Giving Gray Head For The First Time by SaturateDolan⭐️🚺
Movies by DxlansFxck⭐️🚺
Use Me by EpiskyGrant⭐️🚺
Grayson Eating Smarties Out Of The Reader by DolanDolll⭐️🚺
Incorrect Quote
G
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baby-grayson · 2 years
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Cat’s Masterlist!
-requests are open for fluff, angst, sequels, all kinds of ideas! 
-current muses (feel free to request someone outside of this list): wilbur soot, awesamdude, dream, foolish games, dolan twins 
Wilbur Soot (prepare for lots of fluff): 
single dad wilbur
sleepy saturday morning with will and his little girl
your new (fake) boyfriend
late night wilbur
campfire vibes with boyfriend wilbur
arcade day with drunk wilbur
meeting wilbur on an airplane
Grayson Dolan 
Kind Stranger Masterlist (two volume fic that became my baby for a year and is the thing i am most proud of) 
Football Gray Masterlist (giant concept train) 
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strangerquinns · 3 years
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hi ever! can u write something about grayson giving you the silent treatment all day and at night u decided to sleep in the guest room but he came find u!
Grayson Dolan x Reader
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The day started normally like it always does. You woke up, showered, got dressed, then made breakfast. You chatted with Ethan as you made breakfast as Grayson came in from his morning workout. Everything was normal. But for some reason something that you had done along the way of the day caused Grayson to be mad at you. Because since he came out from his shower - he'd been giving you the cold shoulder and silent treatment.
Sometimes tried to see what it was. Maybe you'd left a mess in the bathroom after your shower? But normally with stuff like that he'd tell you. Or maybe he made plans for the two of you, but never got to say cause you went off on your own? No, that couldn't be it.
And each time you tried to talk to him, touch him, or even be near him it seemed to annoy him more. Grayson's scowl became deeper and the silence more suffocate. So towards the end of the day, you kept your distance and hung out with Ethan most of the day. Ethan could tell that his brother was in a mood, but knew that he would need space. Because when Grayson got into a mood - he had to bring himself out of it.
But when Grayson got into his moods he never pushed you away. If anything he pulled you closer cause you brought some happiness to him.
"You always make me better, angel," Grayson spoke one day as the two of you laid in bed together. "Any time the pressure of stuff starts to become too much, I just need you with me."
It seemed like this wasn't one of those times that he needed you.
After a few movies with Ethan, the need for sleep started to become too much. Grayson has gone to the bedroom about an hour ago, so you stood outside the door debating on if you even wanted to go inside. Your mind battled back and forth for a while but settled on sleeping in the guest room.
A heavy sadness weighed on your shoulders as you walked into the guest room at the end of the hallway, getting in and under the cool, white sheets. The house fell silent as you rest in the unfamiliar bed. But a couple of rooms down Grayson laid in bed waiting for you. He knew that he'd let his mood get to him again. Grayson could see the frown on your face any time you came near him. And as much as he wanted to pull you closer, his mind wasn't letting him.
His eyes darted towards the time on his phone once again. Grayson was confused cause it was nearly an hour past the time you two usually went to bed but you hadn't come back. He heard you earlier in the living room with Ethan, but he'd heard his brother go into his bedroom.
After another thirty minutes, Grayson pushed back the comforter lying on top of him and walked through the house. He checked the living room. The kitchen. The lounge room and even the backyard. He couldn't find you. He looked out the front and saw that your car was still in the driveway.
"Where are they?" He whispered to himself, before turning back towards the bedrooms.
But just as Grayson moved to go back into your room, his eyes darted towards the end of the hall. He hadn't checked the guest bedroom. Slowly he walked towards the room and opened the door, peeking inside. Grayson sighed deeply with relief when he saw you bundled in the guest bed.
A deep frown formed on his face as he saw your sleeping form moving towards you quickly. He made sure not to move the bed too much, not wanting to wake up. But it was like the moment that Grayson was close enough, your body knew that he was near. Also, you weren't in a deep sleep since you were sleeping somewhere unfamiliar.
"Grayson?" You whispered with sleepiness in your voice, your eyes barely opening as you looked up towards him.
His frown deepened more, "Fuck, I tried not to wake you."
"Wasn't asleep," You shrugged your shoulder slightly. "What are you doing here?"
"You didn't come back to bed."
You sighed softly, "Well...after today I didn't think that you wanted me near you."
Grayson internally cringed and felt a shame come over him. "I'm sorry, I...fuck, I shouldn't have done that. Of course, I want you with me."
"Did I do something wrong?"
Your bottom lip jutted out in a pout as you looked up towards him. His shame pressed down on him a little more.
"God no. You did nothing wrong," Grayson moved to lay beside you and wrapped his arm around you. "I was just in a mood and lost in my mind. I never intended for it to come off that I was mad at you."
Grayson's hand caressed your cheek before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You relaxed under his touch and leaned into him more. The heaviness of the worry you were feeling lifting off of you.
"Come back to bed with me, can't sleep without my baby beside me."
You pulled back slightly to look up towards him, "Ok, let's go back to our bed."
The two of you headed back into your bedroom and got into bed beside one another, Grayson wrapping his arm around you and holding you close. You slept soundly feeling safe within his arms for the first time in the entire day.
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vinylhazza · 2 years
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hey baby i know you probably have a lot to do and concepts but i’m just so amazed at the way you write that i felt the need to ask you for this concept. I just want you to write and vividly describe a good fuck with gray and just having mind blowing orgasm idk i just think you would write some reallllyy hot things w this. ( also sorry if i had any errors english is not my first language hehe ok byee) love u morgan. i always appreciate all of ur work🤍🤍🤍 no pressure if u don’t wanna do this
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pairing: grayson dolan x f!reader 
warnings: degradation, fingering, oral sex (female receiving ), PinV sex 
to have your back pressed against his front door, graysons knee rubbing you torturously between your legs, his hand wrapped securely around your throat, his lips assaulting yours with vicious fervor, his low moans music to your ears — it was your strange idea of heaven.
“bratty little bitch-“ he breathes into your mouth now, tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth before his tongue is swirling with yours again “-always have something to say.”
his crude words send a shiver running down your spine, sparking up that side only he gets to see. sure you’d cause an unnecessary argument in a very crowded club where he couldn’t punish you like he’d wanted to right away, but to be called a bratty bitch? it was like christmas. you love when he gets mean with you.
you were just so needy for him and instead of coming home to show you some much needed attention after his latest business trip with ethan, he was dragging you to that stupid fucking club where you had to admire his new haircut and five o’clock shadow like you weren’t soaking your panties. you had clenched your thighs together all night, trying to relieve some of the pressure pulsing around your clit - but it was useless. you needed him. 
shaking your head you turn your face away with a smile, eyes shimmering, chest swelling with that same feeling of accomplishment, knowing how much he hates when you reject his kisses. “i’m not a brat.”
you’re so close to what you want. so close to that hard fucking you can’t stop thinking about. just at your fingertips, dangling like meat to a tiger. ferocious you did feel, ready to devour him after waiting so long. 
growling at your clear display of defiance, he grabs at your chin tight with his fingers to tug your lips back to his, mashing yours now with a frustrated grunt. tugging at your bottom lip yet again, you feel the slickness of his tongue teasing at the reddening skin - testing the waters. he knows you love the slow burn of his foreplay, the way he can electrify every touch against your skin, make your head cloudy with lust only for him. 
“you are and you love that you can make me this mad. love that i take you back home and split you in half with my dick because i can, because you deserve it, because you need me.” he mocks you with a grin, humming these words as his lips ghost over yours, his forehead pressed against you, his eyes staring right through you - black pits of desire.
“what makes you think you’re the only one that can fuck me right, huh gray? what about seth? i’m sure he’d love to have a go at this while you’re away-“ your sly comment is quickly stifled by graysons fingers being stuffed in your mouth, warm against your tongue.
you moan around his digits, sucking the best you can and slicking your tongue on the underside of them, batting your eyelashes innocently. he watches your pathetic attempt to please him with a sickeningly sweet smile of his own, his hips now rolling against yours. 
he jives his hips forward, front pressing to yours again and again, the friction pulling his own eyebrows down in an endearing pout you have the sudden urge to kiss away. 
you can feel how hard he’s grown through his pants and what it must be doing to him that you’re giving him this power over your body. he lives for this shit — the nights he can be as rough as he wants and knows you want it all. the material is much too tight now, increasingly obvious to him now that he’s got you home and your throat in his hand. he watches you eye his package with a hum of understanding.
“seth touches this pussy and you’re both dead, you understand?” his breath is hot on your ear, his hands greedy on your hips, fingers digging into the flesh. his words are possessive, his tone firm and unwavering. it leaves no room for argument. 
when you can’t find the strength to nod or even whimper at his words he’s grabbing at your throat again and slamming you gently back against the door, dark eyes trained on you. “do you understand me?”
when words fail you, tilting your chin up to seal your lips is answer enough, and you work your lips against his to show just how much you love hearing him so angry over the thought of another mans hands touching you. seth is a good friend, one that tries to flirt too much to no avail, but no one you would want especially with the way grayson is everything you’d ever need, want, desire and more. 
Grayson has seen too many times the way he friends take longing looks in your direction, staking a peak when they think he isn’t looking. he’s always looking, clearing his throat when he energy shift from innocent to something he’s not okay with. 
winding your hands into his fluffed up brown hair, you pull his face harder against yours, sighing against his lips, licking at the chapstick taste you’d left behind on his lips. strawberries and cream. on his trip he would think of the familiar taste and smile, he just wanted you close all the time even if it wasn’t realistic. you, you, and only you always. the thought of it has him sighing as well, sinking into your touch with his hands on either side of your face. 
“did you miss me, baby?” he smiles at your hands in his hair, feeling for the first time all night that he had you all to himself, not shared between your friends and the music. “i missed these lips, missed your perfume, missed your silly pajamas, fuck even missed your attitude.”
“mmm, missed you gray” nodding, your arms wrap around his neck in a hug, chest pressed flat against his, back arched to be as close as physically possible. 
your hips are moving against the leg between your thighs, the dull ache low in your tummy growing with the friction of his dress pants working against the material of your thong. you needed more, just something more, anything more.
knowing you need more than a rub through fabric, you feel his strong arms picking you up and wrapping your bare legs around his waist, your dress bunched up at your hips. feeling the heat of him radiating through your panties and to your center was maddening, a low purr settled at the back of your throat, obviously ready for him.
“this what you wanted?” grayson growls just then, fingers working at your zipper and yanking it down your back himself, ready to sink himself in you after far too long. against every nerve in his body, he decides he’s going to tease you just a bit more, get you as wet as he can, make you suffer for being the brat he loves to tame. 
“just wanted you,” your whiny voice is his favorite, pathetic and messy and raw. “wanted you all the time.”
instead of answering, he’s tossing you onto the bed with a huff, finally marching you both down the hallway where he can see all of you in the lamplight. he’s looking down on you from the end of the bed, tugging his shirt off of his shoulders and undoing his own zipper even though he knows you love to do it for him, smirking at the way your hungry eyes follow his agonizingly slow movements.
your doe eyes watch him happily and you could just bounce with joy at how easy it was for you to wrap him around your finger. 
you’re thoughts are quickly silenced when he speaks again, amber eyes stern. 
“show me what you did when i was away, i know you played with that little pussy. can’t control yourself even for a few days,” graysons grumbles to himself, eyes on you while he tosses away his pants, stroking himself languidly. he’s stripped completely now, sweaty even now from the reality of the situation. you’re here, willing, begging, ready. 
his hard eyes burn your skin, flames licking across your nerves until you find your own hands removing the unzipped dress from your body inch by inch to leave you in your matching bra and panty set - blush pink and exactly what he didn't need to see in order to stick to his plan of being patient.
grayson groans at the sight of you, angelic and blushing atop his sheets that haven’t been touched in two weeks. he wants to reach out and caress the skin of your stomach, soft and supple, rip your bra down and take one of your budding nipples in his mouth, suck a mark into your neck, but refrains for the sake of the tension building. he wants to see just how bad you want his hands on you, how bad you want him to touch you.
having him watch you was enough to making you obey his orders, submissively nodding up to him. 
slipping your thumbs under the band of your tiny little number, you slowly drag the fabric across the skin of your legs and around the high heels still strapped around your ankles.
embarrassed that you forgot them, you reach for the clasp hastily, trying fumble around with it until you hear his deep voice rumble from the end of the bed again- stopping you.
“leave them on.”
looking at him quizzically, you remove your hands slowly, instead moving around your back to unclip your bra to swing it onto the floor, now bare chested and breathless from him watching you.
the hungry look in his eyes gives you a boost of confidence, spreading yourself open and trailing your hand down your stomach to your bundle of nerves you rub gentle circles on - staring into his eyes and challenging him to come closer. you drag a finger through your slick, spreading it around until the sound of your fingers hits your ears and makes you blush. you were so wet, humiliatingly wet. 
“that all you do? rub yourself all soft and shit?” he smirks, still steadily stroking his own cock arrogantly. he has nothing to be ashamed of, he knows how badly you wanted him inside of you, and you weren’t getting anything until you gave him exactly what he wanted. 
tweaking an eyebrow at his mockery, you find your ring and middle finger inching inside of you now, finger fucking yourself in front of him with soft pants and whines. fire spreads in your belly, and you stoke the embers with every thrust of your own wrist. you fight to keep your eyes open, remembering the times he gave in from eye contact alone, and wondered - hoped - it would work in your favor this time. 
the squelching sound of your dripping cunt has grayson throwing his head back with an agonized groan, a rumble that has your wrist working faster, his own hand tugging in quick strokes. he dips another hand down to play with his balls,  closing his eyes and thinking if your manicured hands doing it instead, thrusting into his fist quicker yet. 
wanton moans tumble from your lips, already so close to the place that makes you see stars, but holding back at the promise of him fucking you to pieces. he hates to see you so clearly struggling, but loves to hear you beg too much to stop himself from the strain he’s putting you through. his pretty little girl, pistoning her fingers inside her own cunt just by the sight of him jerking his own cock - a whore just for him. 
“I want- I need-” you whine, fucking yourself faster but not enough to make the warm ball of pressure explode like you want so desperately. 
he can see the desperation in the way your eyebrows knit together, and the way your  other hand reaches around to toy with your clit, your eyes shutting despite your fight to keep them open, mouth agape. 
“you need what, honey? want me to make it all better, huh? you want daddy to make it better?” he mocks you still, speaking in hushed tones due to the own pleasure spreading throughout his body from his own movements around his cock. he tightens his fist, thumb rubbing at the pre-cum leaking from his slit. sucking in a sharp brush through his teeth, he shakes with sensitivity - mind racing with thoughts of your tight pussy and how It would feel to give in and sink inside you to the hilt. 
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poguesholland · 3 years
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No pressure but if you have time do you think you could ever write something about waking up really early one day with gray? Like you’re chilly and snuggle into him and wake up slow and just lovey and go for a walk around the neighborhood with sledge and some coffee. Idk domestic boyfriend Grayson is just so cute to me 🥺🥰
Gets a bit steamy at one point but I hope you like it!
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Your eyes flutter open to be faced with a window, covered in snow. Currently, you were in New Jersey with your boyfriend, Grayson, as he visited his family. You loved coming to New Jersey, it was just so different from where you lived. It was peaceful. And you loved visiting Lisa, Graysons Mom.
Graysons arm was draped over your waist, looser than how it was last night yet still making sure you stayed close to him. His face rested against your shoulder, feeling the small breaths he takes against your skin. You shuffle a bit in place to have a better look outside the window and admire the December weather.
You feel Grayson shift a bit behind you before the arm around your waist tightens it’s grip, pulling you closer to him. A smile finds its way to your face as Grayson hides his face in the crook of your neck, peppering kisses all over. You giggle at the ticklish sensation before turning around to face your handsome boy.
You move your leg to be across Graysons waist and lay down on top of him, sort of straddling him. His hands go to your waist, sliding up the fabric of his shirt which you wore to sleep, to rest against your bare stomach giving you goosebumps. A hand of yours goes to cup Graysons face as he sleepily looks at you with admiration.
“G’Morning baby” Grayson yawns leaning into your palm, closing his eyes to savor this feeling. Smiling softly at his sleepy state, you lean in to leave a deep kiss on his lips. “Good morning, my love” You whisper against his lips, making Grayson smile and lean in to kiss you once more. Your hand tangles in his soft curls as your head rests on his chest, looking up at him.
“It’s snowing” You say, raising your eyebrows as Grayson grins widely. His hands trace random shapes onto your bare skin, the feeling making you relaxed. “Maybe we could take a walk?” He suggests and you hum a quiet ‘okay’. Both of you peacefully take in this lovely moment, a moment where you and no responsibilities or worries. Just here with one another.
That didn’t last long as you heard scratching against the bottom of the bed, looking down to see none other than Sledge, Grayson and Ethan’s dog. But from how much he adores you and Kristina, anyone would think he’s your dog. You quickly sit up to straddle Grayson, reaching down to carry Sledge up onto the bed.
“Gooodd Morning, my perfect boyy, I missed you so much. Yes I did, yes I did!” You exclaim excitedly, as you kiss Sledge all over his face. He gets excited, licking you to give you a kiss. Grayson could not bring himself to understand how you could kiss the dog directly on the lips, he could barely let the furry animal lick him.
Sledge leans up to lick Graysons face, tail wagging with excitement as Grayson smiled widely. “Good morning to you too, was hoping to have a little alone time with my girlfriend but I can share if you want” He talks to the dog, making you giggle.
Sledge lays his head on Graysons thigh, closing his eyes in content as you pet him. “Look at how cute he is! Oh my god, I just wanna eat him up!” You ramble to Grayson at the sight of the dog, making him laugh. Little did you know he was looking at you with the same look of admiration you were giving Sledge, his heart warming at the sight of you bonding with his dog.
“Can Sledge come with us on our walk? Please, I promise I won’t let go of his leash and he won’t get lost again! I even got him that adorable winter outfit with an ice cap and everything, Gray please-” You whine and Grayson laughs, leaving a kiss on your head. “Of course baby, we just need to get dressed”.
You got up and took out your warmest pair of sweatpants and one of Graysons hoodies, taking out a scarf and ice cap for you and Grayson. You weren’t wearing anything under Graysons shirt which you had slept with, so once you took it off, Grayson whistled making you blush. “Stop, Gray!” You whine making him chuckle.
He gets up from the bed to stand behind you as you looked through your closet for gloves, arms wrapping around your bare waist. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, leaving slow kisses from your jaw to your shoulder, his scruff tickling you. “On second thought, maybe we could stay in instead?” Grayson mumbles. You let out a sigh of content as you leaned back into Graysons bare chest, indulging in the feeling of his mouth on your skin.
Graysons hands trail up to your breasts, as he cups them lightly making your breath hitch in your throat. “Gray” You whimpered as you turned your head to face him, leaning in to connect your lips. You hum into the kiss as his fingers brush over your hardening buds, making your head spin.
Suddenly, Sledge barks loudly from the bed, interrupting the two of you. “Do you have to be such a cockblock all the time Sledge?” Grayson groans into the kiss, earning a giggle from you. You run your hands through his hair and pull away from him, “C’mon, get dressed so we can go”.
And both of you get dressed ten minutes later, now having finished dressing Sledge up. You went downstairs to pour some cereal into two bowls for Grayson and you, filling up two glasses of water as well.
Grayson and you quickly finish the breakfast and put on your shoes, along with your winter coats. You put Sledge’s leash on, with some difficulty due to his excitement. As you walk out, Grayson shuts the door behind you. He lightly jogs to reach you, his hand wrapping around your waist to keep you close to him.
He leans down to kiss your cheek, “Coffee?”, knowing you already want coffee. “Coffee”. You head to a small coffee stand and order, Grayson pays for your drinks which you thank him for. You wait for your drink as Sledge tries to run around to escape the leash he had on. “You love walks that much, huh buddy?” Grayson chuckles as he leans down to pet the dog. A smile finds its way onto your face before you take the coffee, thanking the barista and handing Grayson his coffee.
Snuggling up to Grayson, you walk around the snowed out streets of Jersey. “God, I forget how much I miss living in Jersey” Grayson let’s out, eyes scanning the fairytale like scene in front of the both of you. “One day, maybe you will” You hum and he squeezes your waist. “We will” He corrects you as you blush, resting your head on his shoulder.
“That’s very confident of you to say about the future” You joke and he shrugs. “You are my future” Grayson replies softly as you both stop walking. “You think about stuff like that?” You almost whisper, feeling your heart warming by the second. “Yeah, ‘Course I do” Grayson mumbles, his hands resting on your hips to bring you closer to him.
He notices your blush, smiling lightly. “When we get married, we’ll move to Jersey. We’ll get three dogs, that I’ll hopefully not be allergic to, we’ll have kids — have a huge family, if y’want to it’s your body of course — take walks every day and grow old together with Sledge” Grayson continues, and you look at him in awe. “I really won the jackpot with you, didn’t I?” You laugh lightly, a hand of yours going to Graysons neck to lightly pull him towards you and kiss him softly.
He leans his head down, deepening your kiss. “I love you so much” Grayson mumbles into the kiss and you connect your lips once more. “I love you so much more” You let out, your eyes staring into his captivating hazel orbs. He smiles lightly, before turning his attention back to Sledge who had began to get a bit bored.
Sledge begins to get a bit tired, which you take notice of, so you pick him up and try to cheer him up. “Look, Sledge! Everything’s so pretty here!” You point out to him, not even noticing that you were using your baby voice. Grayson takes his phone out to take a picture of you as you were totally unaware, setting it as his lock screen.
He really had everything he needed at this very moment. And he hoped that in the future, he could still be able to say the exact same sentence with you by his side, always.
766 notes · View notes
blazedgraysons · 3 years
Text
My So-Called Wife
Naomi and Grayson are settled into a seemingly boring marriage with one jarring secret that can threaten their lives.
A/N: lmao okay if anyone see this, i’m going to die. i started working on this au probably like 1.5 year ago and i found this draft. i know i said i was done with this blog but honestly i really loved this concept and tbh worked really fucking hard on it so i want to put it out there. this was inspired by mr. and mrs. smith and a tv show called imposters. this is also very unedited but if you see this hi ily and tysm for reading if you do🤍
warnings: there’s some smut and violence. that’s all. also it’s very long - i think the longest thing i’ve ever written.
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Naomi never thought she could be so bored with a dick inside her.
Until now.
Her head falls to the side slightly, vision catching bright red numbers blinking back at her.
15 minutes.
Grayson had been thrusting inside her for 15 minutes. He’s not touching her though she can’t remember the last time he had. The silence in the room is almost deafening, Naomi more preoccupied with counting the seconds between each movement.
Her dress is still on and so is his shirt. She doesn’t remember the last time either of them were both actually naked -probably the last time he actually touched her.
“Are you okay?” His gruff voice pulls her from her thoughts, her in the middle of questioning whether he was actually enjoying this. She nods wordlessly, painting a sweet expression on her face.
“Dr. Braun said this would be good for us.”
Naomi didn’t need a reminder, the memory of the chubby, short, balding man permanently implanted in her mind. He had greeted them from a swivel chair, high enough where his feet couldn’t touch the ground. She was already annoyed before he asked his first question, wondering why he seemed so delighted in her failing marriage. He had peered at them over a pair of crescent moon glasses, watching as they both filled out the questionnaire he given them. However, that they didn’t stop Naomi from missing the way his eyes slowly trailed over her figure in her sundress before scribbling obnoxiously in his legal pad.
Grayson had felt the growing tension between them, a gnawing feeling in his stomach that hinted that they were on the brink of divorce. He had suggested couples counseling, and Naomi, ever committed to being a devoted wife, agreed. However, the more time she spent under Dr. Braun’s watchful eye, the more she was beginning to regret it.
“When’s the last time the two of you had sex?”
“Aren’t you supposed to lead into that question?” Her tone is icy, eyes narrowed accusingly.
He scribbles some more, and Naomi can feel her own pencil snap under her harsh grip. Grayson’s hand anchors her, watching as he mouths for her to relax.
“I believe it’s easier to find the root of the problems if the couple is having intimacy issues. Normally, if a partner can’t perform, they’re hiding something? Is there an issue with what I’m asking?”
“You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t prefer to spend my time having my every action analyzed.” Naomi catches the words ‘defensive’ and ‘arrogant’ being written and she opens her mouth, ready for a fight.
“It’s probably been a while. More than six months, I think.” Grayson interrupts her, choosing to answer Dr. Braun’s question instead.
“Then I guess the real question remains-“ Dr. Braun smiles wickedly at the both of them. “Do you two have something to hide from another?”
“I believe I’m pretty honest with her; there’s nothing I would hide from Naomi.” Grayson’s answer is earnest, heartfelt, saying everything Naomi isn’t. Naomi watches the way he fidgets, twisting his wedding band as he answer. Dr. Braun hums, scribbling some more before facing her.
“And do you?”
“ Do I what, Doctor?” She sneers, tapping her foot.
“Do you have something to hide?”
A loud snore startles her, bringing her back to the present. She turns to see her husband fast asleep.
Typical.
She waits a beat, counting to ten in her head to make sure he’s actually sleeping before swinging her legs over the side of the bed, sock-clad feet touching the ground.
She walks through their ensuite to their closet making sure to lock the door behind her. At the very end stands a mahogany armoire, one she had first bought with Grayson at an antique sale. He never realized its true purpose.
She pushes it slightly to the side, revealing a loose floorboard. When she removes the plank, she’s greeted to the sight of two large duffle bags.
So, yes. She was hiding something, something jeopardizing to both their lives. She sets aside the first bag, unzipping the second one.
Multiple passports, a ziploc bag full of cash, a burner phone. She takes another look at the file hidden underneath, a penlight tucked between her lips.
Name: Grayson Dolan
Age: 25
Occupation: Tech Consultant
A smiling picture falls from underneath the documents and she brings it closer to her face, examining his features slowly.
She was no stranger to the black widow op, seducing a wealthy man to take his money and leaving with nothing in return. It was practically how she survived, always receiving a generous cut from her agency.
This, however, was different. Grayson happened to work at a reputable tech agency that had been stealing money from her boss, embezzling him out of a quarter of his net worth in under four years, and a lot was riding on her ability to figure out how to get this money back. She flips through the documents again, scanning through her assignment outline. She was supposed to find a way into Grayson’s life, sneak her way into his job and get access to documents of proof of fraud. It should have been simple enough, over and done with in less than a year. Somehow, Grayson had found a permanence into her life. She had gotten used to waking up beside him and falling asleep to his soft snores in the evening,
A sparkle catches her eye and she looks down at her left hand, flashlight illuminating her wedding ring. A sign of broken promises and a marriage already built on a foundation of lies. She tucks the diamond under her finger, revealing the script embedded on the bottom.
Naomi Dolan - April 2022
Two years. She should’ve have been in and out, done with this in an under a year and yet she was heading into her third year of marriage. And everyday it was getting harder to differentiate between what was real and what was fake.
She sighs again, clicking her flashlight off and placing everything back in its original spot before falling asleep in her usual her spot next to Grayson.
When she wakes up, birds are chirping loudly outside the window, reminding her that she’s stuck in another day of suburbia.
She follows their unspoken routine, having fallen into a comfortable routine with Grayson. Everyday is the same.
They’ll wake up and brush their teeth, neither of them speaking, just stealing glances through the mirror. Naomi will leave for work, kissing him on the cheek before driving to work, where Grayson believed she’s simply an accountant. In reality, she’s at her agency, figuring out how to take whoever her boss is focused on down. Around 3:30, she’ll come home where she’ll sneak around and hope that today is the day Grayson would be careless enough to leave some information lying around before he comes home to her at 6, a hot-dinner laid out on the table waiting for him.
Everyday is the same.
“How was your day at work?” He’ll ask her.
Memories will through her head, laying the scene out like a flip book. Victim unrelenting to give information, another blood stained shirt tucked underneath the floorboard so he won’t find it.
She’ll sip her wine, coyly smiling over the glass. “Troublesome. And you?”
But today he does something different, breaking their scripted out day.
“We’re having a Christmas party, black-tie. It’s this Friday and I’d like it if you come with me, sweetheart?
Naomi hums, acknowledging his statement. In her mind, a Christmas party surrounded by a bunch of tech bros was the closest thing to Hell she could get.
“Dr.Braun said we should try to spend more time together. Said it’ll help with our marriage.” Naomi fights the urge to roll her eyes.
Another terrible suggestion by that terrible man.
“Andras is the head of another company. It’s supposed to be a merging gala, whatever that means.”
Andras?
Naomi perks up at the mention of that name, that was interesting to her.
Andras Graves had been one of the top marks her agency had been watching for the past year or so, taking over Grayson’s company in under two months. He was born into wealth, a trust fund baby that grew into a powerful man by the age of 22. He controlled over half the technical information in the western United States and having him on your side was valuable.
Having his information was even better.
“You didn’t tell me Andras was becoming CEO of both the companies.” She ask, hoping her tone remains steady enough to sound inconspicuous.
He twists his wedding band.
“We didn’t know until this morning.”
“Well, I would love to come then. Get to know this new CEO of yours.”
Grayson twists his wedding band again before smiling back up at her.
“Of course, sweetheart.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There’s really only three essential rules to a long term con: always stick to your story, never let your identity become comprised and never cross-disguise.
Fortunately Naomi had always been good at dress-up, playing pretend and leading a new identity. The more you do it however, the less glamorous it starts to become.
She adjusts her janitor uniform, pulling at the baggy pant legs. Her hair is tucked under an itchy and hot blonde wig. She knows how to remain unseen, unnoticeable to the passing eye. She keeps her head low, eyes downward as she pushes her cleaning cart through the bustling crowd.
Grayson’s company he works at surprises Naomi, a large high-rise with big glass windows and screens everywhere. Some displaying the news, some displaying stock information and others being used for presentations. The more Naomi looks, the more what she’s seeing makes less sense - so unnecessarily big as if to distract from something.
She continues walking, looking all around her and praying she knows what she’s looking for when she sees it. Doors to an evil lair, henchmen guarding an entry way or even a giant neon sign screaming ‘evil shit goes on here’. However, nothing useful catches her attention.
“Grayson, Andras wanted to see you later.” Naomi’s head whips back, spotting the way Grayson is walking right towards her. Instantly, she knows that regardless of whatever wig she has on, Grayson’s perceptive enough to recognize the supposed love of his life.
She takes in her surroundings, scanning for a quick exit but not seeing anything that will get her out of his way. He’s grows closer and Naomi holds her breath she’s running out of time until he’s close enough to see her. She tucks her head even further down, pulling down her wig to cover her face before rushing past him. She sees her getaway, walking through a pair of double doors, sighing out when she can lock them behind her.
“Excuse me?”
She turns around. Sitting behind a broad desk was none other than Andras. His dark hair is slicked back, revealing a pale face. Everything about him is classically handsome except for his eyes, laced with vice and deceit.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I just need to clean your office.” She slips into a airy French accent, hoping he’ll go along with no questions.
“Doesn’t cleaning normally come on Tuesdays?”
Life can never be easy, can it?
“The woman who normally comes is out sick, sent me here today instead.”
“Really, is Florence okay?” He smiles at her, almost amused as if he’s picking up on something she isn’t.
She swallows deeply. “She’s fine, just a brief touch of appendicitis.”
“Very well. Do I need to be in here or-?”He walks over to her, staring her down with such an intensity that Naomi starts to feel nervous - a rare feeling for her.
“I’ll be just a second.” She assures, slightly pushing him out of his office.
She takes a deep breath, standing in front of his desktop set up. Naomi unclips her bracelet, placing the flash drive into his computer before copying most of the documents onto there.
“C’mon, c’mon.” She whispers under her breath, eyes hurriedly focused on the loading bar. The computer dings, and she sighs out, clipping her bracelet back on before walking out. Not paying attention, she carelessly walks into the person standing outside, hand half-raised in a knock.
“Woah, watch out.” Two strong arms steady her, pulling her upright before she falls to the ground.
Hazel eyes meet green.
“Naomi?” Grayson asks.
She releases himself from his hold, quickly walking past him and into the crowd. She turns around to see him following her and begins to walk even faster, ditching her janitor cart to move through the crowd easier. Her heart is racing, the rapid thumping deafening to her ears.
“Naomi, wait!”
Grayson grabs her wrist, finally catching up to her and turning her so she’s facing him. She watches as he looks over properly, fully taking in who’s in front of him.
Naomi’s been trained to read emotions since a young age, gather what somebody is feeling in just a second based off of facial expressions and body language alone. She’s expecting confusion, panic, even anger. She knows how Grayson is supposed to react.
Instead, he surprises her. His whole demeanor radiates calmness, not even fazed by the chase she had just put him through.
He drops her wrist and smiles calmly, not even missing a beat.
“Sorry, I must’ve mistaken you for somebody I know. You have a familiar face.” He turns the other way, hands in his pocket as if he hadn’t just caught her parading around as another woman.
She stands in the middle of the lobby, still trying to calm the anxiety racing through her body. Mostly, she’s confused. She’s always been able to read Grayson like the back of her hand, growing in tune to what he’s feeling just from studying so long. So she knows she hadn’t missed the main emotion written clearly on his face:
Recognition.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
High stakes jobs require a level of calmness that are usually uncommon in most people. Naomi’s always prided herself on being a rational person, always able to stay calm in even the most stressful of situations.
“It’s done. I can’t do this anymore, I gotta get out. Call me when you get this.” are the first words out of her mouth when she’s in the car. She’s already called her agency, panic weaving it’s way through her burner phone. She’s unsure why she so rattled by her experience with Grayson, but something is off.
He should’ve reacted - yelled, responded or even yanked her away, or even explain to his coworkers - ‘Hi, sorry my wife is certifiably insane. No she doesn’t not work here and I don’t know why she’s dressed like this.’
She doesn’t understand why he remained calm, but ever nerve in her body is on red, screaming at her to run. She whips her car into her driveway and immediately crosses into her house, running up the stairs to head straight for the mahogany dresser in the back of the closet. She pushes it to the side, opening the second duffle bag to reveal her go-bag. She changes immediately, throwing on leggings and a black t-shirt with a baseball cap. She pulls off he gun taped to the back of the dresser, and almost as quickly as she ran in, she’s leaving, headed straight towards Grayson’s office on the first floor. She opens up the safe, hidden behind a giant painting, and grabs all the cash from inside stuffing that into her duffle bag.
It’s not until she’s halfway out the window that she notices something’s not right.
“Fuck, fuck!” She screams. Her bracelet is missing, panic rapidly rising throughout her body. She’s sitting one leg out the window when she hears dinging, loud noises coming from the thin Macbook in the middle of his desk. She walks over, clicking on the first folder that’s finished uploading.
Files are being uploaded to a cloud, documents after documents. She recognizes them, files that she had just copied from Andras’ desktop. Financial records of embezzlement, records of larceny and assault. Everything she was supposed to take back to her agency was being uploaded right in front of her eyes.
She drops her bag in shock, finally piecing everything together. Too caught up in making sure Grayson hadn’t recognized her, she had missed the way he had grabbed her wrist, hands deep in his pocket as he was leaving. She tries to steady her breathing, panic intensifying as she watches all of her work from the past two years go down the drain. Watching as everything she’s worked for slowly fall into the hands of her enemy.
She opens the last file, pictures of her loading the screen. As expected, Grayson had been watching her, longer than she had thought. Old ID’s, street cam photos, anything connected to her or another identity was being uploaded for Andras and his team to see. The final photo in the series is a picture from their wedding, Her smiling at the camera, happiness almost mocking Naomi’s utter despair at the realization that she is most literally a dead woman. Her identity being revealed puts everyone she works for at risk, and her agency doesn’t take that risk too lightly. Her burner buzzes a few times, and she takes a deep breath before reading the lone text waiting for her.
Identity compromised. Kill Grayson Dolan.
When Grayson started working for Andras, he hadn’t expected to be caught up in a criminal ring. He had taken a security job in his early 20’s, knowing that it paid well and was enough to keep him afloat until the next thing came along. He hadn’t expected to quickly rise up into Andras inner circle.
Everyone knew Andras was involved in some shady organizations; you don’t become as powerful as he did without a few skeletons in your closet. The closer he got to Andras, he realized he was actually in the midst of a graveyard.
He shouldn’t have been too surprised then when Andras approached him a year ago, dropping simple files revealing the true identity of his wife. Andras had explained the whole thing to him: how he had stolen some money from an ex-partner whom Naomi worked for, and she was helping to get revenge. He explained how she had been after him for years with no success and claimed how easy it would be for Grayson to get rid of her. It was practically perfect since she would never expect for her target con to be the one to take her down.
Grayson knew he should be angry, knew he should feel betrayed for being played a fool. However the only feeling was a sickness of listening to how disposable Andras thought his wife was. Luckily, it never got to that point.
In reality, the best way to avoid a takedown is to know what the other side has planned. And Naomi had dropped that precious information into their lap.
Apparently, she had gotten really desperate - actually showing up to his job in order to snoop around. And he wouldn’t have known her true intentions if he hadn’t noticed the bracelet, a gaudy piece of silver that he hadn’t recognized. She normally preferred daintier pieces and when he had finally had a chance to touch it, he recognized it for what it was. A hidden flash drive.
After that, everything practically fell into place. Knowing which files her agency deemed important, it was easy to cover Andras tracks. Delete whatever information they needed the most and the best part was he didn’t even have to confront Naomi.
Grayson just hoped Naomi would’ve been smart enough to flee, get far away from the house by the time he got home.
He sends a silent prayer to the universe before opening the door.
“Hi honey! How are you doing?” She’s chopping vegetables, music playing through the speakers.
Apparently the universe doesn’t listen.
She’s changed since the last time he saw her, obviously not wearing the grimy janitor outfit home. Instead she’s wearing all black - down to her running shoes. She’s finishing up the salad, a large dinner already set out on their expansive dining table. For a moment, Grayson can almost pretend like it’s normal. That they’ll sit down and he’ll ask her about her day. Almost pretend like none of today’s weirdness had even happened.
Naomi continues to hum along, At Last playing softly through the speakers. He recognizes the melody almost immediately, taken back to their wedding day when they had danced together - officiating their title as a couple. He had always loved that song, but Naomi refused to play it - claiming she didn’t want to taint her perfect memories to it. His face darkens as it always does when he thinks about their supposed past - how none of it was real to her anyways.
“Sit down, honey. Dinner will be ready soon.” She calls out, and she turns the music up louder while he obeys, walking into their dining room. He listens closely, recognizing that what he thought was humming is actually the soft murmurs of conversation. He strains, trying to listen, but all he can focus on is Etta James crooning.
He knows his wife is a smart woman, that she would have already pieced together what happened today. Theres no reason why she wouldn’t have left, already halfway across the world and away from him.
Unless there was something forcing her to stay.
He walks over to their china cabinet, reaching in the back to grab a hidden gun.
“You read my mind, honey. Grab the wedding glasses, please.” Grayson freezes, not from Naomi’s sudden presence behind him. He hadn’t even realized she had entered the room, setting down the salad bowl in the center of the table. He pauses at the word honey - the third time she’s called him that in less than five minutes. She never calls him pet names - even when they were dating. She always claimed she hated the cliche and while he was quick to shower her with sweethearts, babes and darlings, she always kept quiet.
The warning signs were always really there and Grayson curses himself for being too blind to recognize them.
Naomi is just as calm as she was in the kitchen, blinking at him owlishly as if wondering what’s taking him so long to grab those glasses and sit down. As he joins her, pouring a glass of wine and sitting across from her, he starts to wonder if he’s crazy. If Andras actually got it all wrong and Naomi isn’t who he thinks it is. The woman who is sitting across from him does not have the demeanor of someone who is waiting for their death - knowing powerful people are hunting her down. He swallows, taking a large swallow before looking at her.
He almost believes himself until he notices her hand, gaze flickering between her coy smile and her ring finger as she takes her own sip of her drink. In the entirety of their marriage, she has never gone without her ring. It had become a source of comfort for him, being able to look down and see the Tiffany ring on her finger - even when he knew the marriage was fake. She taps her ring finger on her glass, grabbing his attention and he recognizes the action for what it is. A silent message that the sham is over, that they both know the others game. She clears her throat softly before speaking.
“I know its not a special occasion, but I thought we should have a nice dinner anyways. We’ve been having so much trouble with our marriage and Dr. Braun did say spending time together was important.” She couldn’t hide her smile if she tried, and Grayson swallows as she throws his earlier words back in his face. He looks at all of his favorite food in front of him, a steak with mashed potatoes and salad in front of him. She never cooks like this for him, always settling for something simple and quick. He honestly didn’t even know that she knew how to cook this well, and almost cuts into his food before he stops.
Naomi is still staring at him expectantly, not even having moved to touch her own food. He pauses before looking down at his own plate, noticing a pile of white powder dumped on his potatoes. The pile was too large to be a seasoning and almost sat on top of his food like a mountain of snow. Naomi’s plate was missing the powder, and he turns his own plate away, biting into the steak instead.
He hopes she’s not cliche enough to poison him.
Naomi simply smiles, grabs some powder from a bowl and places it on her own food before taking a large bite.
“Emilia, the neighbor, brought back this special salt from Chile. She said it made every dish she tried better, and we both know how my cooking is. I didn’t put it on the steak though so it might taste a little,” She pauses before taking another bite of her salad completely avoiding her steak “different.”
He glares at her hard before swallowing his own bite.
“On second thought, darling - I’m not that hungry.” She nods getting up to collect both their dishes and for the millionth time that evening, he’s surprised by how calm she’s being. How can she act like everything is fine between them? Like this is just another day in their lives. Anger slightly swells in his chest and he speaks before thinking when she stands next to him.
“Y’know, the weirdest thing happened today. Saw a woman at my job who looked exactly like you.” She pauses before grabbing his steak knife, setting it on top of the other dirty dishes. He shouldn’t have done that. He doesn’t know what she knows and he could’ve at least pretended to be clueless. Maybe she really didn’t know he knew, and now he’s jeopardized everything.
“Weird.” is her only response and she walks back into the kitchen. He’s silent, planning an escape route before she can bring out dessert. The music is turned off and he’s never felt a quietness this loud before . Beads of sweat start forming at his hairline.. Something is wrong.
He just barely ducks underneath the dining table before the bullets make their way through the wall. He hears glass shatter, and immediately knows what’s been hit. Once her round is finished, he waits for the tell-tale clicks of a gun being reloaded before diving to grab the gun hidden in the china cabinet. It takes less than 30 seconds for him to do so before rounds are being fired off again. He inhales sharply when a bowl breaks above him. The shootings done almost as quickly as it started and the quietness is back. He holds his breath, listening to her footsteps walk in before standing up and shooting in her direction. Her eyes widen, taking in the fact that he’s very much still alive and darts back from where she came, hiding from his shots.
He walks out from his hiding spot, surveying the damage around him. Glass litters the entire dining room floor, bullet holes decorating their once-perfect yellow walls. He walks around to the entry foyer, turning in a circle to find a sign of to where she could have gone.
A zipping noise, steak knife literally cutting the tension in the air. He swipes his face, spreading sticky blood along his cheekbone. Of course, she had nicked him.
“Your aim is worse than your cooking, sweetheart.” He calls out. The house is silent in response, him starting to slowly move up the stairs.
He pauses at the top, cocking his gun and letting his finger hover over the trigger. His first thought is the master bedroom, quietly walking to the other side of the hallway. He makes it halfway before another load of gunshots works its way through the doors. Grayson quickly jumps over the banister, landing in the living room below. Naomi continues firing bullets below, using the upward angle as an advantage. He manages to craw into the next room, obstructed from her eagle-eye view. He knows she’s heading down the stairs and he’s getting tired of the cat-and-mouse chase.
“Sweetheart?” He calls out, “ Let’s tal-“
He’s interrupted by a load of gun shots, bullets breaking through the wall. It instantly wrecks, furniture flying everywhere and pieces of wood piling in the middle of the living room. Naomi fires three rounds before her bullets run out, silence calling out to her.
“You still alive, baby?” Her tone is cocky, arrogant and when she rounds the corner where she expected Grayson to be waiting for her, she’s confused when she doesn’t see anything. She walks slowly over destroyed furniture, moving things aside in order to find her missing husband.
“Grayson?” She whispers.
A firm grip behind her grabs her neck and pulls her around to face him. Naomi finds herself eye-to-eye with his gun, and she swallows deeply. She braces herself, watching as his face watches her own, staring deeply into his eyes. She’s silent, wishing to herself how things could’ve been different, ended differently. She silently asks Grayson to forgive her for what she’s done.
“You got me.” She whispers, and Grayson just stares at her, sighing before releasing his hold on her.
“Get out of here.” He whispers back, and before Naomi can say anything else, he’s gone.
{there was like another 3k words to this but i never finished that part completely. anyways hi and thank u for reading this if you see this note🤍🤍🤍}
220 notes · View notes
bubsdolan · 3 years
Note
PART THREE PART THREE PART THREE I LOVE YOUR WRITING PART THREE WHEN YOU CAN PART THREE 💥💥💥💥💳💥💥💥💥
{part 2}
approximately 2 weeks, 3 days, 17 minutes and 9 seconds had passed since you were first rushed into the emergency room and induced in a coma, taking grayson’s heart with you. not that he was counting, but grayson never thought he would cry for you as much as he did. he needed you back.
as he remained stuck to your bedside, his hand never leaving your cold, pale and lifeless one, he reminisced back to when life was perfect. when it was you and him agasint the world. happy, healthy and blissfully in love.
grayson missed everything about you, he missed the way you would play with his hair mindlessly as he drove, your fingers soothing his scalp and your humming a perfect melody to his ears. he missed the way you would constantly tease him with your playfulness when you wanted to cheer him up after a stressful day, he missed the way your smile lit up the entire room and had his heart beating out of his chest whenever your eyes met his.
he loved being loved by you.
he missed it. he craved your attention again.
grayson missed the way you would always give him the bigger half of montys burger as you knew his own order wouldn’t touch the sides for his large appetite and he missed the way you would sneak sips of his milkshake when you thought he wasn’t looking. he noticed everytime, but found it adorable the way you thought you were slick with it. grayson always ordered the cookie dough milkshake, even when he wanted a strawberry one as he knew you would regret ordering the coffee flavour and steal his.
he knew you like the back of his hand, better than you knew yourself.
“bro you gotta eat,” ethan pleaded with grayson, trying his best to get his brother to even look at him but his eyes never once left your motionless body. grayson hadn't touched a drop of water let alone food. he could bare the thought of leaving your side incase you needed him, incase you were ready to wake up and finally come back to him.  
“eat for her, gray c’mon.”
grayson felt utterly helpless. he was normally always so good at banishing your pain away, whether it be kissing away cuts and scrapes you get from being your clumsy self, to soothing your cramps and period pains, his hands were healing.
dispite all this, grayson had to sit back and watch you in a state he had no control over. he wanted nothing more than to trade places with you, to take away your pain and suffering away and save your life. but as we all know, life wasn’t always kind. he would wish upon a thousand stars if it meant he could stare into your eyes. he wished to fall in love with you one last time. 
“she's gonna be ok man, i promise” ethan didn't believe his own words, remembering back to the moment he had entered the hospital where your doctor had approached him, unable to speak to grayson due to his emotional state, and confined in ethan that there was a high possibility you wouldn’t wake up. you weren’t showing any signs of improvement yet ethan knew his brother needed to hear those reassuring words no matter the consequences they held further done the line.
grayson stayed slient, a few tears rolling down his face as the one hand that wasn’t resting in yours, toyed with the velvet box in the pocket of his sweatpants- it never left his side since you got admitted.
“it’s our anniversary tomorrow.” this was the first time in 2 weeks grayson had spoken to anyone besides you. although he waasn’t looking in ethan’s direction, his word were meant for him.
“gray-“
“i let her down bro. the one promise i made to her, to myself, to dad, and i broke it. she’s here because of me and there’s absolutely nothing i can do to save her.” growing frustrated with himself, his words stung yet it was less pain than what you were currently being put through. grayson felt selfish to think of anything else than you.
“i pushed her away, if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t be here right now! if i hadn’t had lost my temper, called her those horrible names- i- she..no.”
“no fuck this. it’s now or never.”
ethan watched with wary unsettled eyes as grayson rose from his seat, pushing it agasint the wall and dropping to one knee. he lifted your hand to his lips and kissed every knuckle with such gentle pressure. sighing and preparing himself for what was about to come.
ethan got his camera ready, knowing his brothers intentions and although he believed you could hear every word, when you woke up it would be a make the troubling experience that little bit lighter once you saw the memorabilia.
“y/n, baby i know you can hear me right now so let me say this- i love you, more than i have ever or could ever love something in my life. you’re my purpose, your the reason ive been put on this earth. my job is to love you and i want to spend the rest of my life doing so.”
wiping his tears to clear his blurry vision, he takes a deep inhale and continues. you hear every word, your body fighting with itself to open your eyes and jump into the arms of your destiny.
“the story of our love is only beginning. let's write our own happy ending. marry me baby. come back to me and be my wife yeah?” 
after his speech, one he had gone over thousands of times in his head, yet when he came down to the very moment he just spoke from the heart, grayson delicately slide the custom made ring onto your finger. smiling for the first time in weeks as it was everything he had ever imagined, it was more beautiful than he had remembered and the fact it was you adoring it, made his heart swore with happiness. 
“congratulations man,” ethan pulls grayson in for a brotherly hug, wholeheartedly believing if you were awake right now, you'd jump into graysons arms screaming yes and declaring your love for him. a moment to treasure forever but the circumstances were cruel.
“thanks bro, i need to do that for me. for our future and hope that she makes it. she can’t leave me e.. sh-she can’t.”
“wake up for me pretty girl.” grayson resumes his place by your bedside, his hand clutching yours again as he prepares himself for another painful night without hearing your voice. “p…please.”
a while passes, it’s bearing on midnight with ethan passed out in the corner of the room wrapped in a a blanket he brought from home. grayson is resting his head on your hand and praying like he did every night, unable to allow himself to sleep when sudden he feels a sudden movement beneath him. 
you twitch. your fingers brushing agasint grayson as your body struggles to bring itself round.
“e-E! she moved- she moved!” grayson is frantic, startling ethan awake as he desperately tries to call out for you. his heart beat picking up, breathing erratic he would for sure need his inhaler any moment.
he caressed your cheek, hoping his soft touch would be enough to tell you he was there, you were safe and he was waiting for you.
“NURSE!” ethan yells, hitting the emergency button he was warned may times to hit in a case like this. he flung the door open and in stormed a whole crew of night staff. “she moved!”
“sir im going to have to ask you to stand back,” one nurse calmly addressed grayson, trying to respectfully break the contact he had with your hand to allow a thorough inspection to take place.
“baby, no.. no no what's happening- is she ok? im not leaving!” grayson cried, clutching desperately onto your hand in fear you would slip away from him. you loved right? that’s a good sign right? so why was your body swarmed with doctors and nurses screaming codes at each, surrounded by machinery grayson didn’t like the look off.
“don’t take me away from her!”
“sir. i won’t ask again, please stand back.”
“NO BABY, DONT DO THIS Y/N. you gotta come back to me, you hear me… you- you can’t leave me!”
“gray, c’mon man.”
ethan had to physically hold grayson back, forcefully dragging him outside the room to allow the professionals to do what they needed to do. an emotional tearful grayson was only going to complicate the matter and ethan was sure you wouldn’t want grayson to see you this way.
grayson cried, screamed and reached out for you. so distressed and weak as ethan cradled him in his arms and held him. no words of reassurance or confidence as the truth of your fate had finally started to sink in. he had to listen to his twin cry and there was absolutely nothing he could do as an older brother.
ethan cried for you. he cried for grayson. he cried for the love his brother just hated his whole life for and lost in a matter of seconds.
you flatlined, your heart monitor sounding one continues bleep that grayson only ever heard in movies. you stopped breathing, your body stopped beating for him.
12:00pm.
“happy anniversary baby,” grayson whispered. his voice breaking and his body trembling with tears as he broke down in his brothers arm. falling to his knees as the warmth of life had been stolen by the cold embrace of death. grayson was pleading, screamed, fighting with you to wake up but his prayers seemed to go unanswered.
he had to watch the love of his life, his new fiancé, his soulmate flatline in front of his very eyes on your anniversary. grayson felt his entire world come crashing down around him.
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saturngrqy · 3 years
Note
Okay I have some concepts maybe a jealous concept but y/n getting jealous of one of Ethan or graysons girl friends like she keeps coming over and hanging out with him and maybe he even like misses an important event or like something you two were really looking forward to and he ditches you to hang out with her. Like an angst to fluff if you will.
ty for sending this in:) sorry for taking so long to answer
warnings- angst, fluff in the end lol you know me
You had never been so upset in your life.
You had a huge banquet event with the company you had been working for for over a year, you were finally promoted and had been invited to attend a celebration for a new product that was launched. You got all dressed up, did your makeup and hair, and specifically told Grayson to pick you up at 12 am. It is now 1:15, and you had been waiting outside the lobby of the stupid hotel for over an hour waiting for him to come. He still has yet to respond after you called him about 20+ times, even ringing Ethan as a last attempt.
It was pouring out, and the lobby closed so you were stuck in the rain in your $200 dress that you bought specifically for the event. You sighed, grabbing your phone out of your pocket, ordering an uber to take you back to Grayson's house.
Thankfully, the uber arrived in less than 10 minutes, and you gave the driver a gracious tip for picking you up at such an hour. You stomped up the driveway before getting frustrated and ripping your heels off, not excited for the blisters you knew were going to adorn your feet for the next week. You pull open the door, violently slamming the door behind you. You threw your shoes on the floor, throwing your purse on the counter before noticing a crowd watching you.
There in the living room sat Grayson, Ethan, Kristina, and Grayson's best friend Olivia. Your eyes tightened, glaring at the girl sitting a little too close to him.
"Get the fuck out of this house," you seethed, pointing at the door. Olivia's lips pursed, immediately standing up and exiting without a word.
"What was that for? We were in the middle of-" You cut him off.
"Thanks for picking me up dickhead. I had to wait in the rain for a fucking hour, asshole," you spat, rushing off to your guys' room.
"Shit," you hear him mutter under his breath.
You decided to take a shower, needing to burn off some steam. You stood under the scolding hot water for a while, just staring at the green-tiled wall in front of you, upset that he would forgot such an event to hang out with Olivia.
It had been probably the fifth night in a row he hung out with her, and although you were with him all five of those times, she was starting to get on your nerves.
It seemed as if he was completely oblivious to her pathetic attempts at flirting with him. The way she would lean on his shoulder when you were sitting right on the other side of him, or the way she would send you glares every time you spoke or would cut you off to tell him a stupid story whenever she got the chance.
When you got out of the shower, you wrapped yourself in a warm towel, opening the door to see Grayson already sitting on the bed, waiting for you.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Oh okay, so now you care. I have been reminding you about this for at least a month! You know how important this was to me, and you completely ruined my night. All so you could hang out with Olivia." Grayson flinched as you continuously yelled at him.
"I'm your girlfriend! Not her! For the past week you've ignored me, I just wanted you to pick me up from a fucking banquet, is that too much to ask for?" You spat, crossing your arms, waiting for his excuse.
"I- I know," he stuttered, tears brimming his eyes. "She just kept asking me to hang out- and- and I know that this was super important for you, I have no excuse, I just lost track of time," tears were freely flowing out of his eyes now, disappointed in himself.
"I'm just so upset, Grayson," you spoke quietly.
"I know, I know baby. I feel like a fucking idiot. I love you, you know that," he cried, looking up at your eyes. You just stood there.
He finally sat up, embracing you into a tight hug, softly rubbing your back. He could physically feel his heart breaking when he heard your sniffles muffled over his shoulder.
"I love you, I'm so sorry," he murmured. "I only have eyes for you, I promise."
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mindofharry · 3 years
Note
Alpha! Grayson and y/n and y/n accidentally wanders off too far during like a walk or something and grayson finds her and gets all pissed and then it’s fluff in the end? I’ve been deprived of alpha gray lately😭😭😭😭
OMG I MISS ALPHA!GRAY SM!!!!
Because Y/N is human, grayson is super strict with her when they’re around the pack. He of course knows that no one in his pack would do anything to Y/N, and vice versa. But they all live in a pretty remote place during the summer - so it’s basically an invitation for rogue wolves to try and stake their claim at the pack and the alpha. It happens more times then grayson and ethan would like, but they always get it under control quickly and calmly. With Y/N staying with the pack during the summer (because grayson can’t be without her) grayson is more strict. Y/N gets it, of course she does. She gets grayson wanting her to be safe.
She does not get why she’s locked up in their room half the time. She can’t go out to the river and swim with all the the other members, she can’t look after the pups or help the pack doctors. She’s apparently not allowed to do anything with grayson supervising. She’s had enough and needs to some fresh air.
“Please? I’ll be super safe!” Y/N pouted, she was currently begging grayson to allow her to explore some of the woods around the camp. Grayson of course said no straight away. There hasn’t been a rogue wolf in weeks - but grayson is not taking any chances, the minute those wolves smell Y/N she’s done for. And although he’s trained her in combat, she’s definitely not strong enough to fight off those wolves even if they were injured.
“Baby, i’m sorry but i’m just not letting you go out there” Grayson said placing his hands on her hips. Y/N pouted again, her eyes filling up with tears. Graysons heart broke and he tried to look away, but the thought of her crying because of him made him hate himself a little. He sighed and kissed her forehead before giving in.
“Fine. You can go” Grayson said and Y/N turned off those tears quicker then they came on. Grayson raised his eyebrow but chose to ignore it.
“You have ten minutes and a guard will stand outside of the perimeter you’re in” Grayson stated and Y/N nodded squealing pecking grayson’s lips before getting her shoes from the end of the bed.
“See you later!” Y/N called out running down the stairs of the pack home. The guard, who she learned was named, Malakai, guided her through the bushes and onto the path of the woods. It was so beautiful out here, Y/N just wanted to enjoy it. She wished they lived here all year round, there’s beautiful scenery and everyone is always so happy and lively. Their walk was short and quiet, the guard only talking when Y/N spoke to him.
Y/N started walking foward into the woods, the guard standing post beside a large tree. “Don’t go far” He ordered and Y/N nodded with a smirk. She just wanted to explore a little. She hadn’t been out in so long. Soon enough, ten minutes turned into twenty and twenty turned into thirty. The guard had been looking for her the minute his timer went off and she had not arrived back. Y/N was sitting by a rock watching a deer and it’s baby eat. They looked so peaceful and she just couldn’t look away. She didn’t mean to lose track of time, nature just fascinated her. All the things she saw today, she couldn’t wait to tell grayson all about it. Even though he’s probably seen a lot more beautiful things than her.
“Y/N!” A voice called out, they called it out again and again but Y/N was so entranced by the beauty of the two animals she didn’t hear it. Grayson was going out of his mind, malakai had mind linked him and ethan to let them know Y/N hadn’t returned and he was going into the woods to search for her. Grayson nearly lost his shit, well actually he did. He threw a cup at the way and then immediately shifted into his wolf form running into the woods. Ethan and a few other members of the pack went down the river and other parts of the woods.
“Y/N?” Grayson called out, now out of his wolf form. God, she looked so happy. But he didn’t even notice because he stalked over to her quickly scaring away the two deers. He grabbed Y/N by the arm making her gasp. He had never done that before - not in a harsh way. Y/N couldn’t of been gone for that long, right? She didn’t mean to be so long.
“Grayson” She said as he pulled her along out of the woods. Members of the pack were looking at Y/N, some relieved and other still worried. Grayson looked like he was about to throw her in the dungeons for the night. Y/N had never seen grayson this angry before. Of course they’ve gotten into little fights, but it was usually Y/N that got angry and yelled. Grayson was always the composed one when it came to arguments.
“Grayson, please i’m sorry” Y/N said, but he continued on into their home and up the stairs not saying a word but still dragging Y/N along upstairs to their room. Y/N sighed, knowing she wouldn’t win this argument so she stayed quiet. Once they were in the room, Y/N sat down on their bed as Grayson paced back and forth in front of her. She didn’t exactly know what to do. So she apologised again.
“I’m really sorry-“
She was cut off by a laugh from grayson. He stood in front of her and shook his head.
“Sorry? You were gone for nearly an hour! You scared me” Grayson yelled, Y/N jumped at his tone he noticed and sighed sitting down beside her.
“I know you’re sorry. But you can’t do things like that” he said and Y/N nodded.
“You’re right. I’m sorry and i won’t wonder off.” she said and pecked his lips.
“On the plus side i got to see some pretty amazing things!”
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jtsfavslut · 3 years
Text
Desperado [GD]
Description: Grayson participates in the famous November challenge, but Y/N has made it her mission to make him fail. 
Warnings: Ahh yes...smut, cinge, idk what else 
Word Count: 2.5K+
Touch starved.
The term was an understatement for your current situation. Why? Because your boyfriend decided to participate in the famous no nut fucking November. To say you hated it was another understatement.
You despised how committed he was to it. And to make matters worse, he didn't shave either.
And you being you, you were a whore for Grayson's beard. It was mid-November so it was right where you liked it, a bit past the scruff period.
Every Time you looked at him, your core did nothing but ache. Your legs clenched at the memory of how good he felt between them, his big arms wrapped around them; Holding you close to him as he made you cum for the 4th time that night with just his fingers and mouth.
"Penny for your thoughts?" His voice ranged in your head making you shake your filthy thoughts and memories away.
"Hmm?" you hummed turning to look at him, a smirk on his face disappearing when he licked his lips, coming back short after.
"Whatcha thinking about?"
"Nothing," you shrugged it off, but he knew. Grayson was fluent when it came to your body language, knowing what everything meant, even the slightest movement.
"Nothing? You've been staring at me and cleaning your legs, you're biting your lip and you're flushed. I know that look from a mile away, Angel," he taunted, making you turn your head and look away, scoffing in response.
"It's just hot in here. You have the heat all the way up," you murmured before getting up and walking away. 
"Are you serious?"
"It's just really hot in here that's all" an idea comes to mind and you strip your hoodie.
Grayson raises an eyebrow, already knowing where you're going with this "really"
"Yeah just really hot" you take your shirt off as well, leaving you in a bra and jeans, you were about to take off your pants before he verbally stopped you.
"Angel, don't you dare," his voice was stern and rough, letting you know you were working him up.
"What? I'm not doing anything bad, I'm gonna go swim," you replied before walking away, a smirk on your face, "To each their own Bailey, to each their own,"
"Keep it up, y/l/n," he whispered but you were long gone to even hear it, your feet dipped inside the cool pool water as you looked up at the clear sky.
Your attempt was a slight fail, it was good, just not good enough to crack Grayson.
Grayson Dolan was stubborn. Maybe as stubborn as they came, you blamed that on three things; his cockiness, his ego, and the fact that his top three had an influence on his personality.
But you couldn't give it. You had made it your mission throughout the entire month of November.
It was now the last day of the month, and you needed Grayson to crack. You needed him to crack hours before the month ended. You wanted to be as close as he could, yet as far as he could. Your plan was evil, perhaps it was, but it wasn't fair that you were forced to compete in a ridiculous, immature, high-school like bet.
You were sure this plan was going to work. You felt it in your bones. You were clever enough to use one of Grayson's qualities, and a few of his traits against himself.
If there's anything that Grayson was, other than stubborn, was dominant and jealous. One wrong look from a guy and he was railing you, fucking the pretty out of you, not that it worked since in his eyes, your prettiest state was when you were fucked out. Hair frazzled into all sorts of directions, a few beads of sweat dripping down your hairline onto your forehead, mouth slightly opened as deep, tired breaths fell past your lips, sore shaking legs, chest rising up as your eyes closed. A sight only he got to see, a sight he caused.
Your skimpy blood-red dress clutched onto your body in the most perfect way, a pair of matching heels covered your perfectly pedicured feet, a pair of silver snake earrings held onto your ears, and a simple matching snake necklace adorned your neck. A silver purse completed your outfit as you applied the last bit of gloss and highlighter you needed before slipping out of your vanity, grabbing your phone before leaving your room, walking towards the couch where Grayson laid on, a pair of gray sweats, with air forces, were present on his body.
"I'll be back around 2 am, don't wait up for me," you spoke, your nails suddenly becoming more interesting than a shirtless Grayson, "Peace you," you turned to walk away before his voice suddenly stopped you, a smirk making its way on and off of your face before you turned back around to face him.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, placing his phone down before sitting up straight, his once hazel eyes scanning your body up and down.
"Out, where else?" you carelessly replied as he chuckled.
"Out where? With who?" he questioned, a dry chuckle falling past your lips as you shook your head, clutching on to your purse.
"The club, with Vinnie, invited me out for some drinks," you replied, only receiving a glare and a scoff.
"Since when do you go clubbing?" he asked and you shrugged.
"Since when do you care?" you scoffed, "Anyways, he's here, I need to go, have fun," and with that, you were gone.
You were out the door, as Grayson's anger increased. Sure, he did trust you. But he also knew about your history with Vincent.
He knew everything, from how you went from best friends to fuck-buddies, to best friends again, so he felt a bit uncomfortable with you going out for drinks with someone you spent countless nights with.
Vinnie however, was aware of everything. He was your last resort. You knew how jealous Grayson got whenever he was around. Of course, he agreed, knowing how sexually active you were. He knew you couldn't last a month. He was in fact surprised you had gotten this far without touching yourself, which he knew because you told, just like you did with everything else.
"Do you think this will work?" He asked, taking a shot of the tequila he had ordered, "Like was he mad?"
"He was furious, you should've seen his face," you replied after swallowing the aged liquid, the slight burn giving you nothing but satisfaction, "He should be checking my location right about now," you giggled when the tiny typing bubble popped up in your texts with Grayson. It had been a few hours since you left, meaning Grayson was probably getting ready to bring you home and punish you for being bad and bratty.
"Hey, if he doesn't give you what you want, just know, I'm always up for you," Vinnie smirked, flashing his hand on your face, rings adore his fingers, as black nail polish perfectly laid on his nails.
"In your dreams Vincent," you playfully smacked his hand, knowing he was only playing around.
"You're right, you know? I liked you more when I had you to myself," he scoffed, shaking his head, taking another shot letting out a groan at the taste.
"Oh please V, I'm sure you have plenty of entertainment around," you rolled your eyes as you stared at his hands.
Oh, how you wished Grayson would accomplish your wishes of painting his nails black, but he claimed it was simply not his style. Of course, you understood, but you still wanted him to do it, it was, after all, something you found incredibly attractive.
"Not really, no one offers what I need, you know? They all like that vanilla shit, with the aftercare and soft shit,"
"But you did that with me?" you asked confused but he just shook his head.
"Because it's you. You gave me what I needed. But anyways, your boy toy is here," he spoke as he noticed Grayson walk in. An angry look on his face as he caught a glimpse of your back and Vinnie’s face.
"Ughh, finally," you scoffed as your core throbbed, your mind suddenly imaging certain scenarios on how Grayson would take you.
"What are you doing here?" You asked as soon as you felt his presence next to you, his cologne slapping you on the face.
"I came to pick you up and take you home," he said, no emotion laced with his voice, you mentally rolled your eyes.
Your hand reached up to Vincent's, intertwining your fingers with his before letting out a whine, "But we just started to have fun,"
"I don't care. We're leaving," he spoke before leaning down close to your ear, "You're gonna get it as soon as we get in the car,"
"Ughh fine. You're so boring. You should take a shot or two sometime," you dramatically sighed before letting go of Vinnie's hands and grabbing your phone and purse, "I'll see you another time V, love you, take care," you said, sending him a smirk in an angle that Grayson couldn't see.
"Love you too, don't do anything I wouldn't do," he waved you off as Grayson carefully dragged you out of the establishment. He had parked his car in an empty and abandoned parking lot, having a plan thought out for when he arrived at where you were at.
He opened the back door of his Tesla, before throwing you inside, making sure you wouldn't get hurt, but wanting the message that he was upset to get across, "You think you're funny? Acting like a whore, wearing a slutty outfit to go out with Vinnie? Teasing me all fucking month long, acting like a fucking bitch," he spoke as his fingers came in contact with your jaw, squeezing it in the most perfect way.
Never in his life did Grayson think he would call a woman a whore. But when you came along, you brought a Pandora's box with you. He wasn't sure degrading a female would get him laid, but you introduced it to him, at first it was weird, but he took a liking to it, only with you.
"I didn't do anything," you pouted against his hand, making his other hand squeeze your hip.
"Did I tell you to speak?"
"You asked," you scoffed, eyes widening as a burning sensation spread over your thigh, followed by a moan.
"Open," he muttered, tightening his grip on your jaw, making you open your mouth before he leaned down, doing something you thought Grayson Dolan would never do, "Swallow," he muttered after spitting in your mouth. You did what he said, no questions asked, and no ounce of hesitation in your body, "good girl," he whispered before moving down to between your legs.
His hands explored your legs before you felt a couple of cold things making you look down to find a couple of rings on his fingers, yet no nail polish.
"You wanna behave like a whore, I'll treat you like one," he smirked at your facial expression, he was loving every single second of what was happening, "Mouth of fingers? Never mind, you don't get to choose, don't you dare make a sound," he muttered before pulling down your underwear.
Your body slightly jumped and the long-awaited feeling of his fingers. You bit your lip, feeling so touched that just the slightest feeling of his two fingers spreading your arousal around, "Look at you, so desperate, and wet. It's pathetic," he chuckled making you shake your head before throwing it back as he slowly slipped a finger in, just one, feeling satisfied as you spread your legs and threw your head back, he added another one, and you felt out a whine, earning a thigh smack from him, "I said no sounds,"
He dipped his head down, just feeling the presence of his mouth near you pussy was enough to make you bite your lip, and hold back a moan as he pressed soft kissed on the inside of your legs, fingers wholly moving in and out of you, until he finally placed a soft kiss on your clit, and started moving his fingers faster.
You quickly moved your hand up to your lips, muffling any sound and moan that slipped out. The feeling of euphoria and ecstasy spread quickly over your body, and a knot started forming on your lower stomach at how good Grayson was eating you out and finger fucking you.
"Gray, Grays please," you started chanting his name, not being able to hold it back any longer, the amount of pressure building up was much more than what you could handle.
"You wanna cum for me Angel, Wanna be a good girl for daddy?" He teasingly asked, his fingers moving at a pace that you thought was impossible.
"Mhm, I do please. I'll be a good girl I promise,"
"Let it go, cum for me," as soon as the words slipped out, there was no holding back, your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as you let a pornographic like moan, squirting all over his face and making a mess in the back seat of his car, your vision had truly gone white, never feeling something as strong before, not that you minded, you loved every single second.
"Oh my God," was the only thing you managed to breathe out, finally opening your eyes after a few seconds, Grayson was above you, his white shirt having some wet patches, showing how good he truly made you feel.
"I don't think you should be saying his name right now," he smirked as you shook your head, "Not after this mess you made in my car, at least,"
"I know a perfect way to make up, but you know, it's still November so," you smirked, looking at your watch, the time being 11:51, he had nine more minutes.
"Really? How so?" He teased, picking you up as he sat down, placing you bare half on his black dress pants.
"To make you feel really fucking good, right here. In this car, and you can do anything you want to me," you smirked, palming him through his pants, his bulge was apparent, but you were running out of time. 11:55
"But it's only valid for today," you added, unblocking his belt before lifting yourself up to pull his pants down, You spit on your hand before moving it, just to make him harder and work him up a bit more.
"But you have to say yes,"
11:59
"Fuck just do it," he groaned before placing his hands on your hips, making sure to align himself before slamming you down on his dick.
12:00
"Look at you, couldn't even wait one more minute," you struggle to say as he bounced you up and down on his dick, loud groaning falling past his lips at how good you felt around him.
"Shut up,"
Please I am so sorry!!! This is so bad and gross, and I got carried away...I also wrote this in like an hour!! But I said I would do it so here we are!! Anyways yeah, if you made it here because you read it I love you!! And big thanks to @blazedgraysons for helping me and motivating me to write it, I love you bitch!!! 
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Text
Meant to be (G.D.)
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Summary: There is a reason why the road not travelled seems more appealing, why the past might trick us into believing if we had made different choices, or just done one thing differently, that our lives would be better for it. There is a reason they say ‘Careful what you wish for’ and Grayson is about to find out exactly what it means to have all his dreams come true. Question is, what’s the cost?
Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, sexual innuendoes, angst, fluff
Word count: 21k
===========================
Regrets are a weight on the heart and a curse on the mind. They bring out the past over and over again, always tormenting its victims with what ifs and promises of a better life. But it always comes at a cost, it always asks for a sacrifice. It drags its victim away from the beauty of their life, forcing them to wonder...
What if…
It's only two words, six letters, but they can change a person. ‘What if’ is a reminder of all the mistakes, of all the roads not taken and while they may not be as good as reality, one would always ponder on the possibility of something more.
What if...
What if..
What if?
For Grayson, his ‘what if’ had always been a little down the road, back when he was just a teenager and his choices were far simpler. Life was simpler, happier.
Becoming a YouTuber didn't entirely fulfill the dreams he once had. It gave him money, women, fame, but it took away his peace of mind and a quiet suburban life with the love of his life.
At least he found the love of his life. Or so he hopes. 
He's been wrong too many times before to dare say the L word now, but being with Ella feels right. Almost right. He'll never get his perfect life even if she is the one and it has nothing to do with her but the choices he's made before they ever met.
Too often would Grayson watch her sleep and question if he should feel guilty about his ‘what if’. Would she judge him for the inner workings of his mind? Would she feel like their relationship is a lie? Like she isn’t enough? 
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Her raspy voice brings a smile on his face and the thoughts aren't as loud as they were before. No one could ever quiet Grayson’s mind like Ella can. It’s as easy as breathing for her, a single look sent his way and Grayson couldn’t focus on anything other than Ella. 
"Some past choices." Grayson never lied to Ella. When they met, she demanded he be honest with her, always. 
Reluctant, Grayson shared his earnest opinions and in time, he realized Ella is right; honesty is the best policy. It helped their relationship develop on a solid foundation, allowing them to grow together. For once, Grayson didn’t want to date every girl with a heartbeat, his attention focused elsewhere - on Ella.
"Like what?" She tilts her head up, her chin resting on his chest and her brown eyes meet his, a look he always cherished. Ella was always quiescent, a snowflake that he protected with his life.
She had the kind of eyes that made a man weak in the knees and while she was bitter about the mundane color, Grayson never saw a more beautiful shade. There was nothing mundane about her.
"Like the time Ethan and I thought we'd go to that private school on a sports’ scholarship." Sighing, Grayson runs his fingers down her back, playing with the strap of her bra. It's black and lacy, the kind she'd wear to seduce him and yet she's not trying. Ella could sense Grayson needs intimacy, conversation, not sex. She knew him so well, read him like an open book.
"If you did that, you'd probably never be a YouTuber. You wouldn't have the money, the fame, the experiences you have now." Biting her lip, she pauses before speaking timidly, "You wouldn't have the people you have now." 
Swallowing thickly, Grayson noticed the sudden change in her demeanor, the flicker of hurt in those earthy hues enough to make him realize she's thinking of the possibility of them not meeting.
“You really think you can get rid of me that easily?” He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as her expression dulled. 
Grayson wasn’t sure if he believed it, but Ella did and he had to remind her, to make her smile so he wouldn’t feel like he’s drowning in the unshed tears forming in her eyes. 
“You always say that people who are meant to be", Grayson starts and she rolls her eyes playfully, a small smile appearing on her lips.
"Will find their way in the end, I know." Groaning, she rolls on her back, her head resting on her pillow. 
Raising an eyebrow, Grayson moves to his side, towering over her with a lopsided grin. "Should I be upset you just chose your pillow over my chest?"
"Should I be upset you're thinking of a life without me?" She challenges, her left eye narrowing ever so slightly as she stares at him. It's as if she's daring him to move, to take these thoughts out of her head. After so many obstacles they’ve managed to overcome, she couldn’t help the hurt his admission caused. She never once thought about anything other than a life with him.
"I don't think of a life without you, Ella", Grayson's smile falls, his voice deeper, "I believe we would have met either way. You're everything", lowering his head on her chest, his hand rests on her stomach, "We are meant to be."
Fingers treading through his hair, Ella sighs, "I think you're wrong. To be meant for someone means more than just meeting each other. It's the circumstances, it's the experiences that have shaped your preferences and character."
"I'd still fall for your pretty eyes and crazy laugh", Grayson argues, his eyes focusing on the birthmark between her breasts, yet another thing she hated and he loved about her. That would never change.
"I'm not sure I'd go for a jock tho", she states and his head snaps up to meet her gaze only to notice her lips twitching in an attempt to suppress a laugh. Just as she sees the questioning gaze, Ella bursts into laughter, coercing Grayson to do the same. He loved her witchy like cackle she calls a laugh, it's impossible not to laugh when he hears it.
And so, with a laugh filled night, Grayson settles beside Ella as he drifts off. Her words run through his head, wondering if it's true. 
Would they still be together if he hadn't moved to Los Angeles to be an influencer?
As his consciousness fades, Grayson mutters under his breath, completely unaware that his life would forever be changed.
"I wish Ethan and I got the scholarship."
There’s a reason they say be careful what you wish for and Grayson was about to learn the hard way.
--------
"Ugh", Grayson moans, feeling like death. His head hurts, his muscles are aching as if he had run a marathon and his mouth is dry.
"Ella?" He calls out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he rolls on his back, "Babe, I think I'm sick."
"You're not sick, you're hungover", Ethan chuckles and Grayson's eyes open wide.
"Fuck you talking about?" He squints and raises an eyebrow, noticing Ethan in a bed just a few feet away. His lips part, eyebrows furrowing as a faded scar between them becomes prominent.
"You drank a shit ton." Ethan reminds him, throwing a shirt his way.
Shaking his head, Grayson realizes it isn't a shirt, not when his last name is on the back of it right above a number.
"This isn't funny, E", Grayson breathes out, eyes fixed on the jersey in his hands. "Where is Ella?"
Sitting up, Ethan shrugs, "That the girl you were messing around with last night?"
Closing his eyes, Grayson feels his heart sink. "Messing around?" 
He wouldn't hurt Ella that way, would he?
"Since when do you even remember their names? What happened to hit it and quit it?" Ethan asks, standing up to grab his phone and Grayson scoffs.
"Now I know you're fucking with me, I'm a one woman man now. You know I'm with Ella. You can end the prank here because I really feel off." Grayson grimaced with the shooting pulsating pain in his head intensifying, wincing as he rubbed his temples to soothe the pain.
Ethan steps closer, concerned for his brother who is looking around the room with confusion. "Did you hit your head or something?"
"I dunno, maybe." Rubbing his forehead, Grayson sighs, "I have a major headache and I need Ella, okay? Where is she?" Standing abruptly, Grayson frightens Ethan into a backward stumble. "Ella?!"
"Fuck, I knew coach should have sent you to the doc!" Ethan runs his fingers through his hair, genuinely scared for Grayson.
Growling in frustration, Grayson reaches for Ethan, his fingers gripping the thin fabric of his shirt as he forcefully pulls him closer, "Cut the shit, where is she?! Huh?!"
Raising his arms in mock surrender, Ethan shakes his head, "I swear I don't know what you're talking about!" Eyes wide, Ethan pushes Grayson. It's not as forceful in fear of hurting him but enough to get the message across. "You never even mentioned an Ella before."
Releasing Ethan, Grayson stumbles back to the bed. Sitting down, a heavy sigh passes his lips as his eyes fall to his feet. His bare feet. "What the", pausing Grayson blinks fast, "Where's my Tame tattoo?!"
"Tattoo? You better not have a fucking tattoo!", Ethan rubs his chin, trying to understand what is happening. "I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR!" Rushing out of the room, Ethan slams the door behind him.
Lips quivering, Grayson takes his shirt off only to find his chest, his arms are void of tattoos. "No, no, no." Pulling his sweats down, he finds his legs just as bare, no ink he had invested years in. "No, NO, NO!"
Scrambling to the bathroom, he stops in front of a mirror only to find his hair is shorter, dark circles around his eyes are prominent and his lips chapped. Flashing his teeth, he finds no tooth gems, "Those cost a fortune!"
"Bro, we gotta get you to a hospital!" Ethan mumbles, running around to find something to wear while Grayson pales. His hands are shaky, his entire body trembling and he can't help but wonder if Ella was just a fever dream he had.
Or this is?
In what world does he still share a bedroom with Ethan? The tattoos, the gems, the jewelry! He didn't even have a hole for an earring!
And Ella? His sweet brown-eyed Ella with the heart of gold? What of her? If there's one thing he's sure of is that he isn't creative enough to dream up someone as perfect as her.
"C'mon, they'll do a CT as soon as we get in." Ethan waves him over, only then noticing Grayson is in his briefs. "Seriously?!"
Groaning, Ethan grabs him by the forearm and pulls him along, throwing clothes in his face.
"I know you're freaking out or whatever but we need to hurry! It's been a day since you took that nasty fall and I know you said you were okay but THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY!" Rambling, Ethan stopped. Taking a few deep breaths, he turns to Grayson with tears brimming his eyes. "You’re my brother and I can't lose you."
Nodding, Grayson presses his lips together. He'd argue, ask him if this is some elaborate prank again but it doesn't feel like one. It feels real and that is what scares him. So, reluctantly, Grayson does as Ethan says and he puts on the clothes, following him to the door.
He wasn't sure what to expect, but Grayson finds himself with raised eyebrows and a concerned look on his face once he sees the state of the house they're in. There are people lying around, red cups and beer bottles everywhere and he could have sworn he saw a few used condoms on the floor as well.
"Where the fuck are we?" Grayson whispers and Ethan pales.
"The frat house. We've lived here for three years Grayson!"
Running his fingers through his hair, Grayson has to suppress a groan as he realizes just how short it is. He's used to his floppy hair, it relieved his anxiety to run his hands through his hair and Ella loved to tug on his hair too. She never said anything about the length, so maybe it’s the feeling of her tugging his hair while he goes down on her is for his own pleasure, but he likes to believe she enjoyed it too.
"You said I hurt my head?" Grayson tries, hoping to understand.
"Yeah, during football practice yesterday. Ryan tackled you because you fucked his girlfriend."
Inhaling, Grayson's eyes widen, "The fuck?" 
So far, Grayson understood one thing: that he understands nothing.
-------
“All the scans came back clear. What kind of symptoms are you experiencing?” 
Grayson glances at Ethan, his mind torn. If he admits to what seems to be a crazy theory about him waking up in some hell dimension, the doctor might put him in the psych ward and throw away the key, but if he doesn’t and all the memories of his life and…Ella’s love are just a symptom of his fall, then he might deter the doctor from a proper diagnosis. 
But as Grayson swallows thickly, he shakes his head. Even if everything was a lie, a symptom, is who Ethan says he is truly who he’d want to be? 
From what Grayson gathered, he is a womanizer with no respect for women or their feelings, he’s an egomaniac and very likely has an STD by now. He sounds like a guy with commitment issues and a nasty personality considering he’s been sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend. 
“Just a headache.”
Ethan’s jaw slacks, his eyes narrowing at Grayson, “Are you sure?” He’s speaking from a confused, angered place and Grayson can tell Ethan is about to blow his cover. 
“I’m sure.” Grayson speaks through gritted teeth, his nostrils flared as he gives Ethan a pointed look. “I’m perfectly fine, just had a wild night and a nasty fall. I’ll take a few pills and be fine by Monday.”
“Alright. I’ll clear you to play next week, but keep the head safer next time.” 
A tight lipped smile on Grayson’s face did nothing to alleviate Ethan’s anger. He had brought his brother in for good reason and he just lied to the doctor’s face. Truth be told, Ethan is worried Grayson is having a psychotic break. Instead of ratting him out, Ethan decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and a single day to reassess the situation again. 
Once in the car, Ethan turns to Grayson with raised eyebrows. “Wanna tell me what the fuck that was about?”
Shrugging, Grayson swipes his thumb across his bottom lip, wincing as he does. “Do I have a busted lip too?” 
“Cut the crap, Gray, what the fuck is happening?” Ethan fixes his eyes on Grayson, refusing to start the car before getting a concrete answer to his many questions. “You’re acting like a totally different person. It’s like you’re an alien possessing my brother’s body and I don’t know who the fuck this Ella is but if she did some magic voodoo thing to you, we got a witch to burn!”
Gasping for a breath, Ethan stops but his eyes narrow as Grayson cackles at him and his rant. 
“THIS IS NOT FUNNY, GRAYSON!”
A hand over his chest, Grayson leans back. Attempting to stifle his laugh, he nods, “I know! I know”. Sniffling, Grayson lets out a long sigh before looking to his brother. “If I tell you, you’d think I’m crazy and I’m not! I swear I’m not!”
Licking his lips, Ethan leans back in his seat. Gnawing on his bottom lip, Ethan can’t help the curiosity bubbling up to the surface. Whatever it is, it can’t be that crazy, can it?
“If I promise to listen to you, will you tell me?”
Raising an eyebrow in surprise, Grayson shrugs, “Only if you stop freaking out too.”
“FINE”, Ethan exclaims just as Grayson finishes his sentence, willing to hear his side of the story.
“I think I’m in an alternative universe. Like something got fucked and I’m now in an alternative universe because where I come from we aren’t frat boys with a drinking problem.”
Clearing his throat, Ethan motions with his hand for Grayson to elaborate.
“We moved to Los Angeles in our freshman year of high school and did YouTube and we got famous and rich and I had the most beautiful girlfriend. I was with her and then I woke up here.”
Tapping his fingers on his knee, Grayson looks out of the window, biting his lower lip. “She, uh…She means a lot to me.”
“Okay.” Ethan states, starting the engine.
“Okay?” Grayson furrows his eyebrows, lips parted.
“Yeah, okay. I believe you.” Ethan drew his lower lip between his lips, tapping his hands on the wheel.
Leaning forward, Grayson’s frown deepens, “Just like that?”
“Look, I don’t know Ethan from your universe, but I’m a believer in alternative universes and I do think you’re not exactly my brother. He’s just…different.” Glancing at Grayson, Ethan sighs, “You two are very different."
“Alright, so you want him back, right? You’re gonna help me?” Grayson’s excitement is palpable, enough for Ethan to roll his eyes.
“No, I’ll leave him in an alternative universe with millions at his disposal while I deal with you”, Ethan states, the sarcastic undertones unmistakable. Grayson can’t help but snort, smiling to himself. Even in an alternative universe, Ethan is a sarcastic conspiracy theorist. 
“Any idea where we could start, genius?” Ethan snaps his fingers, irritated with Grayson’s tendency to get lost in his thoughts. 
Grayson’s face blanks, “No clue.”
“How about that Ella you keep mentioning? She your girlfriend?” Ethan doesn’t need to ask twice as he glances at the shit eating grin on Grayson’s face upon the mere mention of her name. “You say you care about her. Are you sure you’re not in love?”
Grayson licks his lips, “I don’t know. How does anyone really know?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious when you fall in love. If you can’t answer that, you might have never truly loved anyone.” Ethan’s words hit home. 
While it sounds callous, it’s also true – did Grayson ever really loved any of the girls he was with? They all seemed like the right one at some point. He told them he loves them, but did he really? In the end, they were all forgotten in a week or two, but Ella? He refused to tell her he loves her even when he thought he did. The word had become cheap, she deserved better ones. 
Is that love? Wanting to find better words to express your feelings? Words that are more than what most throw around like ‘Hello’? Words worthy of the way the mere thought of them brings a smile upon one’s face or their voice makes one’s heart race? 
“Have you ever loved someone?” Grayson asks, curious of his brother’s life. Even if he’s not his Ethan, he is Ethan. 
“Once. It didn’t last, but I did love her.” 
Figuring Ethan isn’t quite ready to talk more on the subject, Grayson decides to drop it. He shouldn’t upset him just for his selfish gain. “I think this happened because I wished to know what would have happened if we never went to Los Angeles and took the scholarships at that private school we were interested in.” 
He wished for his old dreams to come true, and they did. But at what cost?
“You wished for this?!” Ethan raises his voice, letting a little of his frustration out.
“I didn’t know it would actually happen!” Grayson defends, pressing his lips together once he realizes raising his voice isn’t going to do him any favors. “I’m guessing we took those scholarships in this universe?
“Yeah. We got into college on football scholarships but we play lacrosse too.” Ethan tells him, “Wrestling didn’t pan out as we wanted.”
“I met Ella in LA, so that’s probably why she’s not here.” Grayson rubs his temples, closing his eyes shut.
“So? Look her up. If she’s not a dream, she’s gonna be on social media.” Ethan suggests. 
Gnawing on the inside of his cheek, Grayson nods. His eyebrows furrow as he opens up Instagram on his phone. Typing in her username comes up blank. Typing in her name comes out blank.
"Why can't I find her?!" Frustrated, he hits the dash and Ethan huffs, not happy with the way Grayson is treating the car. It may be a flaming pile of shit, but it gets them from point A to point B.
"You're saying you dreamed up a girl you think is real?" Ethan’s not convinced Ella exists. If anything, he’s still a little weirded out with the idea of Grayson not really being his Grayson. He’s trying to believe it all, to trust him on his word and to trust his instincts screaming at him, but it’s hard. It’s really hard.
"She is real!" Grayson exclaims, half panicked as he’s beginning to doubt himself as well. What if Ella found someone else? If he wasn’t there that day they met, who was? 
Glancing at a frustrated Grayson, Ethan feels pity. He may not be his Grayson, but he’s still his brother. In a way. "Google her then."
"If her Instagram account doesn't exist, why would anything exist then? Huh?" What Grayson truly worries about is, what if something happened to her? Maybe she did exist at some point but doesn’t anymore?
"Maybe because it’s Google? Google knows all. If she’s not on there, she was a dream bro." Ethan reasons, parking the car. He turns to Grayson, watching him. Grayson’s pensive, filled with a thousand emotions he cannot put into words and Ethan understands him. He does. 
"Wait...She only got Instagram to follow me! She admitted that!" Grayson exclaims, a little too excited while Ethan remains unimpressed.
"Bro, I love you, but you sound douchier than usual." And that says a lot since he’s been dealing with his douche of a brother. His Grayson is the definition of a douchebag. 
"No, no, she really told me that. So...she wouldn't be in LA either because she said we inspired her to move to follow her dream which would mean she’s back home!" 
Raising his eyebrows, Ethan’s eyes widened, "We inspired her?"
"Yeah, she said if two snotty teenagers could move to LA and make it just by filming videos of themselves she could surely get her book deal." Grayson says it with a smile, feeling nostalgic.
Ethan snorts, "She sounds supportive."
"She really is though." And with that, Ethan notes how Grayson’s voice is warmer when he speaks of Ella. That’s definitely not his brother. His Grayson doesn’t soften up when he speaks about girls unless it’s about Gizmo, their pet bird.
"She’d never tell anyone about the book, but I know she’s been writing it since she was 16 and she actually sold it!" Grayson is also proud of her, boasting about it as if it’s his own success. Ethan can’t help but smile.
"So look for her with that info, you do know where she is from, right?"
"Michigan." The word barely passes his lips as Ethan punches his shoulder, "Owh, what the hell E?!"
"We are in fucking Michigan!" Throwing his arms in the air, Ethan shakes his head. The pent up craziness of the day is starting to drive him up the wall and he can’t even be sure what’s real and what’s not anymore. ”We’re literally Michigan Wolverines!”
"Seriously?! She might be in the same school then!" Clapping his hands, Grayson opens the car door. He jumps out, wildly looking around the parking lot, hoping he’d see her black hair swaying with the wind.
"You're giving me a headache, I hope she's nicer than you." Ethan mumbles, leaning his forearms on the roof of the car, his car door still open.
"You two have been iffy a bit, but you loved her E.”, Grayson turns to him, grinning, “You said it yourself, you love her like a sister but if she touches your vegan rolls again you'd burn the house to the ground."
Lips parting, Ethan’s nose crinkles, "Vegan? She can have them all, why would I fight her on that?!"
Drawing a deep breath, Grayson pinched the bridge of his nose, "Please don't tell me we aren't vegan."
"We are jocks, Grayson, chicken is our religion." Ethan reminds him as he closes the car door, locking it. Walking around the car, he chuckles at Grayson who grumbles about it.
"Just great."
Running a hand through his hair, Ethan averts his eyes to the ground. The pavement is still wet, a reminder of the stormy night from before. "Do I have anyone in your world?"
Grayson smirks, "An Australian model."
"WHAT?!" Ethan steps in front of Grayson, stopping him. 
"Yeah, my reaction too when she decided to date you." Grayson chuckles, amused with the shocked, slightly jealous expression on Ethan’s face.
"Bro, I want an Australian model!"
Laughing wholeheartedly at the whining, Grayson shrugs, "You have her. Well, the other you does."
Throwing his hands up in the air, for the second time in the past ten minutes, Ethan walks ahead, “Fuck this shit.”
Smiling fondly at his brother’s back, Grayson sighs, “At least I know you’re extra here too.”
“What?!” Ethan glances at him over his shoulder and Grayson shakes his head, “NOTHING!”
--
As days passed, Grayson realized one thing: time has its own flow and in that its own beauty, for no man can command it to halt, it can only pass with unique divinity. It’s only been a few nights since he woke up in this strange universe and while days were easy to survive as he spent them on the field and Monday brought classes, nights were much less forgiving.
He misses her – his Ella. 
Time, just as love, is unchangeable – it is there at the end as it was at the start and Grayson doesn’t know how to accept that he might never see Ella again.
He finds himself scribbling her name instead of class notes on his first day of college, attempting to draw her – but the shade of brown in her eyes is never quite right. No matter how hard he tries, nothing he draws will ever come close to the warmth and understanding her eyes and smile held. No one can ever replace the comforting relief that would wash over him whenever she would squeeze his hand or run her fingers through his hair. 
Simply, no one can compare to Ella. No one, possibly not even the alternative universe her…if she exists.
Sighing, Grayson leans back on the tree he sat under. He closes the textbook with her name written a dozen times to give himself reprieve. Being there without her is torment, a special kind of hell Grayson never dreamed he���d be stuck in. 
Ethan has helped him adjust as much as possible, but it seems as if he can never truly fit into this life.
This Grayson is a douchebag, whoring his way through campus with a bottle of tequila in hand and no one bats an eye as long as he scores the winning touchdown. His grades are an average C, but it took him less than a single day to find out it’s because the professors are giving him special treatment. He’s not exactly a model student and plenty of his classmates were surprised he even attended lectures today.
Closing his eyes, he tries to ignore the words in his head reminding him this is karma. He has done enough to get himself rejected from his own timeline and universe. 
Truth be told, he’s ashamed. He wasn’t much better before meeting Ella, either. He’d whore his way through Los Angeles, the difference being non-disclosure agreements he had the girls sign. He might have been sober, but he was drunk on adrenaline of fame that he had given into different obsessions. He became paranoid, mistrustful, hateful and treated his friends as if they owed him something for being a part of his life.
When Ella came around, he changed. It took a while, but Grayson thought he was finally worthy of her. 
Now? Grayson finally understands what she meant when she told him she might not like him as a jock. He didn’t like himself as a jock.
“Hey, six-pack?!”
Grayson’s eyes open wide, his breath caught in his throat as he recognizes that voice. Only one person he knows has that kind of a voice – a raspy voice that is the base of all his happy memories. 
And there she is, Ella – his Ella. Her long black hair is shorter in this universe, falling to her shoulders in waves. Her eyes are just as beautiful as he remembers them to be, like melted honey on a warm sunny day. Her lips are curled into a small smile, gentle yet cautious. 
“Ella?” He breathes out, his hands beginning to shake and she can tell. 
Ella raises an eyebrow, confused as to why would the cockiest man she ever met feel so nervous to see her. He seems to be shocked, maybe even relieved – a contradictory Grayson never was. Not to her knowledge. She always saw him as a one dimensional being – an asshole without a cause. 
“Wanted to bring this back to you”, she reaches into her backpack – a flower themed green backpack she had when they first met. 
Back then, she was but a stranger with a very pissed off look on her face when he slammed into her on the beach as he attempted to catch a ball Ethan sent flying way above his head. He remembers her yelling at him as if it were yesterday, but he also remembers her laughing when he asked for her number when she was done with yelling, breathless. He bought her an ice cream and apologized and ever since then, Grayson never looked at another.
Ella tosses a jersey in his face and Grayson quickly stands up, holding the jersey in his hands. 
“Wait, how do you have this?” He looks at the number – 33 – his number.
Raising both eyebrows, Ella’s eyes widened for a split second, “Wow, you were really drunk off your ass that night, weren’t you?” Leaning in, she steps on her tiptoes as Grayson holds his breath, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that Grayson Dolan actually did something decent for a change.”
She turns on her heel, taking a few steps further before Grayson’s senses return to him. “Ella, wait!”
“And he remembers my name? I’m impressed!” She giggles, not even turning around as she heard his heavy footsteps just behind her. “Though I don’t remember telling you my name.” That’s when she stops, hands on her hips as she looks at Grayson who looks like he’s lost. “How do you know my name?”
“How do you have my jersey? I asked first”, Grayson reminds her with a lopsided grin and she purses her lips to stop a smile from spreading. While Ella might not be Grayson’s biggest fan, she’s not blind – he’s extremely good looking.
“The other night at the party mean anything to you?” She raises an eyebrow, waiting for Grayson to respond but he just shrugs, a red tint slowly coloring her cheeks. It’s not something he’s used to as Ella was always tan from the LA sun, but she’s much paler than usual.
“Some asshole pushed me in the pool and my shirt got wet and it was very see through. I panicked and ran and stumbled upon you and for some reason you weren’t an asshole about it and lent me the jersey without even trying to stare at my boobs.” Licking her lips, Ella narrows her eyes at Grayson, “Which was very weird, are you alright? Nobody's body snatched you?”
Chuckling, Grayson shakes his head, eyes fixed on Ella. He can’t look away, not even if he tried. “I’m trying to be better.”
“You? Better?” Biting her lower lip, Ella steps closer, “I really wanna believe that”, her raspy voice is like stardust to Grayson. 
He loves hearing her talk, words are her finishing touch to the emotions she usually suppresses but only ever shared with him. It took forever for her to open up to him, but even then it wasn’t as often. So yes, Grayson wished he could tell her how much he would like to listen to her talk. It doesn’t matter what’s it about – something, nothing, he just wants her to talk to him.
Taking her hand, Grayson hears her gasp. He places her palm on his chest, right above his heart. “Please do. I need you to believe in me.” His lips are parted, his eyes clinging to her like a dying man clings to his last breath and she’s looking back at him, her hand is touching him and she’s not fighting the touch.
Until she breaks out in laughter, “That’s a good line! Do you use that on all your little flings?” 
Stepping away from him, she bites her lower lip, almost disappointed. “Don’t spend your best lines on me, Quarterback, I’m not easily swayed and my heart is taken by someone else.”
Sobering words splash into Grayson’s senses as if they were icy water. “Someone else?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna leave you before someone spreads unflattering rumors about us.” Turning away, Ella takes three more steps before glancing at Grayson over her shoulder. She doesn’t know why she did it, but something inside her told her to look back, to stay – even if it’s for a moment. 
“Thank you for the jersey, Grayson. I’ll remember that.”
And as Grayson stood there, watching Ella leave, he reminded himself that everything he wants is on the other side of determination and consistency. He would show her he’s redeemable and he would win her over. It doesn’t matter what universe he’s in, there is never a time he won’t want her – her light, her kindness, her approval. 
Even if everything's made to be broken, Grayson needs her to believe in him. He needs her to know who he is. 
--
“Sometimes I wonder why I’m with you”, Ella huffs. Arms crossed she rolls her eyes at Grayson before laughing, “Your decoration skills need serious improvement!”
“Ah, you got me worried for a moment”, Grayson reaches out for her. Grabbing her by the arm, he pulls her into his lap.
Chuckling, she wraps her arms around his neck, “Why?”
Licking his lips, Grayson looks down, “Because I wonder why you’re with me.”
“For the same reason you’re with me”, she explains and he furrows his eyebrows as his lips form a tight line. The reason he’s with her is because his soul never felt more at home than when she would wrap her arms around him.
“Boobies?” Grayson teases, earning himself an eye roll.
Cupping his left boob, Ella exclaims, “Yes! Yours are almost as big as mine!”
“Idiot!” Grayson grumbles under his breath. Looking back at it, he knew it was a perfect chance to tell her what she means to him and how grateful he is for her presence but he didn’t. He made it into a joke to hide just how much he needs her and she didn’t deserve that. She deserved a man who could speak his mind and share his emotions, not a coward he turned out to be.
“Awee, you’re not an idiot”, Ethan mocks, “Especially not if you help a brother out.”
“I’m not telling you her name, Ethan.” Grayson turns to his other side, determined to salvage what’s left of the night. He couldn’t sleep, not after knowing his Ella hates him. But is she his? How can she be his when she loves someone else? How can she be his when this Ella hadn’t ever been in his arms? Even if she was, she would be the other Grayson’s Ella. Manwhore Grayson’s Ella. Frat boy, jock’s Ella.
It leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. The idea of her with someone else, even another version of himself isn’t easy to stomach.
“But she’s my girlfriend!” Ethan exclaims, throwing a sock at Grayson’s head. A smelly sock.
Covering his nose, Grayson tosses the sock back, “Not in this world she isn’t.”
Flipping Grayson off, Ethan groans. “She could be, ya know? She could be my girlfriend!”
Rolling his eyes, Grayson turns to his back, “Chasing someone else’s love story isn’t exactly something I’d recommend to you.”
“Wouldn’t the other me want to be with his girl in every universe?” Ethan challenges and Grayson raises his eyebrows, “You’re trying to find your girl in this universe, why don’t I get the same courtesy?”
Pressing his lips in a hard line, sadness clouded Grayson’s features, “Kristina Alice.”
Gasping, Ethan’s phone lights up as he searches her name only to sit up once he sees her photo, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHE’S MINE?!”
“YuPP”, Grayson closes his eyes, “Good luck getting her to accept your request.”
“Thanks”, Ethan smiles as he hits the follow button on her Instagram page, desperately hoping she would soon accept his request and he could send her a message. Maybe he has a shot after all.
“Just shut up and let me sleep.” Grayson covers his head with a pillow, turning to the other side where it’s colder.
“What if”, Ethan begins as Grayson groans loudly. Those two words are the last ones he wants to hear. Ever.
“I need to sleep!”
“Sure, but hear me out”, Ethan springs from his bed and sits on Grayson’s, “What if you being here means my brother, real brother, is also in a different universe?”
Uncovering his face, Grayson’s eyes widen as he sits up with a thundering heart, “Like in my universe?”
“Dunno, but I don’t think he would just disappear. The whole laws of physics wouldn’t allow for that to happen. If energies cannot be created or destroyed, perhaps souls can’t either. Maybe he’s in your body or in another universe and that universes’ Grayson is in your body? Maybe all the Grayson’s have switched places?”
Hand on his heart, Grayson could feel the cold sweat forming at the back of his neck, “I’m gonna be sick.”
“You think it’s possible?” Ethan raises his right eyebrow, genuinely curious.
“If it is, some other guy is with my Ella right now and he could be fucking up my life as we speak.”
“Well, depending on the definition of ‘your life’, he could be fucking your life right now.” Ethan’s insinuation didn’t help Grayson fall asleep that night.
If it’s true, another version of him might be holding Ella tightly against him as she unravels under him. Another Grayson, possibly even the manwhore Grayson he’s occupying could be both abusing the privilege of being intimate with Ella and breaking her heart by being intimate with other women in front of her.
Laying awake, staring at the ceiling, Grayson met dawn as an old friend. Dawn signified a new start, a day full of activities that would busy his mind with anything but some look alike hurting the lov…His Ella. Besides, he was looking forward to the day as he planned on seeing this Ella as well. He can’t deny the pull, the gravitational change he feels when he’s close to her. She may not be his Ella in every sense of the word, but she is Ella and she is the light in this darkness.
Morning practice went by fast, allowing him to exercise some of his demons, but it isn’t enough. In the back of his mind is an image, one that is enough to enrage him – an image of his lookalike in bed with his unsuspecting Ella.
Inhaling, he closes his eyes as he settles under the same tree he sat at yesterday. Holding his breath, he waits for the burning sensation of his lungs as they scream for oxygen. Reluctant, he releases the pent up air in a slow exhale.
“Since when is this your hangout place?”
Eyes snapping open, Grayson’s lips part with the familiar raspiness in the voice. “Ella?”
“Still my name”, she smiles before sitting in front of him, book in her hand.
“Sorry”, he breathes out, attempting to smile but he didn’t know if he should smirk or grin and ended up grimacing more than smiling.
“Don’t be. It’s not like the tree has my name on it”, she shrugs as she opens up her book and he frowns, confused.
“What do you mean?”
Pointing to the tree, “It’s my spot. Has been since freshman year and suddenly you’re here.”
Making an ‘O’ shaped face, Grayson’s heart skips a beat. He didn’t even know why he sat under this particular tree, but it was calming him. It felt cozy, safe, a place to gather his thoughts. Upon further evaluation, this tree wasn’t entirely different from other trees, but he chose the same one two days in a row and he had a sneaky suspicion Ella is the reason why he was drawn to it.
If there is no magic in the world, how is he in this universe? If there is no magic in the world, how did he meet her again? If there is no magic in the world, why would he sit under this tree?
Smiling, Grayson realizes – magic exists. Maybe it’s not in the obvious witchy way, but it’s real. Ella made him see that.
“I’m sorry if I was ever a jerk to you.” Gnawing at the inside of his bottom lip, Grayson noticed her surprise when he spoke up, more so with what he said.
“Save your apologies, Quarterback. You weren’t a jerk to me.” Forcing a small smile, she clarifies, “You weren’t anything to me.” Tucking her hair behind her ear, she feels her heartbeat quicken as his eyes remain on her. She could see the genuine emotions swirling in his hazel eyes and it caught her off guard. It’s as if he actually means it.
“Look, you’ve been pretty shitty to a lot of people and you’re worshipped regardless. But if you want to be better, you have to take baby steps. It’s never easy to change once you’ve left people with a certain idea of who you are.” Licking her lips, she sinks her front teeth into her bottom lip. 
Averting her gaze to the book in hand, she tries to hide how his unrelenting gaze is making her nervous. It’s an effort to stop herself from tapping her fingers on the book or to stop herself from running away to take a proper breath she can’t seem to take ever since she decided to sit there. Somehow, Grayson causes a panic in her, not one associated by fear. It’s more about the implications of his longing stares and uncharacteristically kind words.
“Can I start with you?” Grayson leans closer, minding the way she blinks faster as he does as if his proximity is making it harder for her to ignore the need to stay close.
“Why me? What’s so important about me?” Her question catches him off guard and it reminds him of his Ella and the insecurities she always tried to hide. Maybe they’re not so different after all.
“Because I think highly of you.”
Scoffing, she looks away but Grayson can’t ignore the blush spreading across her cheeks. “You don’t even know me.”
“I’m an observant person. I know more than you think and I’m not asking for you to be my friend but maybe a tutor? You could help my grades and my stupid mouth when it goes off?”
Narrowing her eyes at him, Ella’s confusion is stronger than before. No matter what she heard of Grayson, he didn’t seem as bad as people made him seem. He’s trouble, she’s sure of that, but he’s also lost. A part of her wants to help him find what he’s looking for, to help him…fix him, but if she does, she knows she might find herself in dangerous territory. 
Grayson Dolan seems like a guy one would easily fall for, but he also seems like the guy who’d break her heart. Can he even break a heart that’s not his to begin with?
“Tutoring sounds fine.” She speaks, finally breaking the silence and Grayson’s lips stretch into a wide smile on instinct.  “But only tutoring and it’s not for free. I expect you to do something for me too.”
“Anything!”
Drawing a deep breath, she wonders if this is wise. It could backfire in the worst possible way, but she can’t help herself. She has a unique chance to do something she always wanted, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a month.”
Inhaling sharply, Grayson exhales, “Huh?”
Rolling her eyes, she leans closer, “I want to make a guy jealous and who better to do that than the Quarterback.”
Grayson’s heart sinks with her words but he finds himself nodding. It might be the worst thing to agree to but it would put him in her orbit and it would give her a chance to see who he truly is. She might fall for him in the end.
“Alright. Let’s do this.”
--
“So you’re just gonna fake date your girlfriend?” Ethan cocks an eyebrow, a little confused and uncertain of the benefits this deal could possibly bring his brother.
Shrugging, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to put in the effort to make himself look somewhat presentable. “Yeah. It’s not much, but I’m willing to go through with worse if it means I get to hold her hand at the end of the day.”
“What if her plan works and she actually gets with the person you’re supposed to make jealous?” Raising both eyebrows, Ethan flicks Grayson’s ear, “You’ll be worse off than before.”
“It won’t happen!” Grayson exclaims, trying to not murder Ethan. “Fake dating trope always ends with the two realizing their feelings and marrying each other.” 
Smiling at his reflection in the mirror, he nods to himself. It’s the first time in a long time he gave much thought about what he should wear or what his hair looks like but it’s for a good reason. He has to impress Ella. 
“We’re soulmates, E. I know it.”
Huffing, Ethan rolls his eyes, “Chances of that being an actual thing is slim, but let's face the facts. Even if you’re soulmates, you two aren’t necessarily meant to be in every single universe. No one can have their happy ending in every universe. Maybe consider this universe is the one where you don’t get the girl.”
Hands on his hips, Grayson turns to Ethan with a stiff upper lip, “Is this really about me and Ella or about the fact Kristina didn’t accept your follow request?”
Rubbing his forehead, Ethan groans, “Maybe, but it’s a possibility?! I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart if this doesn’t work out. Just…Don’t forget this isn’t your life, okay? What happens when real Grayson comes back and he’s suddenly in a relationship? He’d break Ella’s heart.”
“What if he never returns and I’m stuck here forever? I can’t and will not give up on Ella. Manwhore Grayson needs to man up and I’m preparing the turf in case he returns to this life.”
“Manwhore Grayson?!” Ethan chuckles, “That’s actually who he is. Cameron calls him that!” Wheezing, Ethan throws himself on the bed, hugging a pillow.
Grayson watches, stifling a laugh, “Bro, I wanna smack him so bad!!”
“Get in line! At least half the female population wanna smack his face and the other wants to smack his ass!”
Pursing his lips, Grayson exhales through his nose, or he tries to. It’s been hell living in a body with sinus issues again and he envied whoever is in his body for the ability to breathe freely and without suffering after he had suffered all the pain of two surgeries and multiple rounds of antibiotics.
“Well, I’ll be going then. Don’t wanna keep my girl waiting.” With a lopsided grin, Grayson heads to the door when Ethan speaks up.
“Do you think this would classify as cheating? I mean, she’s Ella but she’s not really your Ella, right?”
Licking his lips, Grayson’s heart sinks. Ethan is right, this Ella might look like his Ella, have her soul, but her personality might be different. So far, Grayson noticed three differences: her ears are pierced though his Ella was terrified of the very idea of having them pierced, she doesn’t seem to wear the red lipstick he loved to smudge and she had black nail polish but his Ella prefers pastels.
Shaking his head, he remembers how it felt to imagine her with manwhore Grayson. It doesn’t feel right and his Ella would probably hate him for this, but something inside him is insisting he must see it through. “I’ll see you later.”
--
Holding his breath and waiting for inevitable doom. This is what Grayson feels like. It’s as if this entire universe is made to torture him. Sure, he wasn’t the best person alive in his universe, but he wasn’t evil either. A part of him couldn't shake the karma aspect of this switch – what did he do that was so bad to warrant a karmic intervention?
“Hey!” Ella’s usual raspy voice is a little higher, pitchy, enough to make Grayson smile. She’s nervous and he’s glad he’s the one that made her nervous. It means she cares, however small it may be.
“You look”, pausing, Grayson raises his eyebrows as his eyes trail down her body, “Incredible!” He lets out a breathless chuckle, watching her cheeks darken. She’s definitely nervous.
“So, uh, what do you need help with”, Ella licks her lips, tucking her hair behind her ear as her eyes fix on his hand. “Are those….flowers?” Raising an eyebrow, she stifles a smile as Grayson fidgets, scratching the back of his neck.
“Yeah…I wanted to do something nice.” Holding the flowers out, he watches her lips twitch as her attempt to keep a smile at bay slowly fails.
The corners of his lips turned up in a slight smile as his eyes dropped to the floor, a strangely demure gesture for him, Ella realized. As he looked back at her, moving his hair back with his hand, Ella was momentarily swayed by the dark brown eyes that sparkled up through long, dark lashes that she never noticed before. Perhaps she allowed herself to send a few glances his way in the past, trying to understand why so many girls ventured into his web, and she never quite understood until now.
The way he looks at her as if she’s the source of sunshine in his life, the way he smiles as if her presence sparks joy in his heart and the way he had held her hand over his beating heart had disarmed her and she hated herself for it. 
She fell for his charms and silver tongue as many have before and she likes him. She does. It’s impossible not to like a man as magnificent as Grayson – no matter how messed up he is. 
There will always be a girl willing to stay way too long in hopes of fixing him. He’s a death trap for every woman who looks into his eyes.
“Lilies?” Careful, she reaches for the flowers. Her fingers curl right above his, avoiding touch and the electrifying feelings it could bring to the surface. Ella preferred not to know.
“Your favorite”, Grayson blurts out, his mouth faster than his brain and his eyes widen as Ella’s eyes narrow at him.
“How would you know?”
Hands trembling, Grayson shrugs, “A lucky guess. You’re not a rose kind of a girl because you think roses are cliché.”
Eyebrows furrowing, Ella’s frown deepens, “That sounds more like an educated guess.”
“Am I wrong?” Grayson cocks an eyebrow, his confidence growing as she purses her lips, eyeing him as if she’s reconsidering her previous judgment of him.
“I hate the thorns too”, she states matter of factly, turning her back on him. Glancing over her shoulder, she raises an eyebrow, “Coming? Or am I supposed to take your exams for you, Quarterback?”
With a lopsided grin, Grayson follows after, relishing in her sassy attitude. She must know how it affects him, draws him in. If anyone could tell him to get over his shit and act like a normal human being, it was Ella. Of course, his Ella took a while to open up in a way where she didn’t mind her tongue. His Ella is shy until one gets under her skin, a little more insecure. This Ella is a firecracker from the start, brazen.
For a moment, he feels guilty for liking that about her. He feels guilty for liking this Ella, but it’s still his Ella, is it not? She’s just got a different life experience. 
--
For the first time in his life, Grayson couldn’t stop staring. He was good at hiding his feelings, pushing down anything uncomfortable until he could ignore it, but he couldn’t do it. Not anymore. He sought her out even when she wasn’t close, he yearned for her shy smiles and annoyed eye rolls. He missed each time she’d glance his way and swiftly look away or the way she’d use her hands when she talks about something she’s passionate about. He wanted to see her hands when she’s talking about him, to be passionate about him – with him.
For the first time in his life, Grayson found himself chasing after a girl. She’s out of his league, he’s aware of it. She’s wife material and he isn’t sure he could settle down any time soon, but waiting too long might mean she’ll find someone who is ready for all the things he’d like to have with her. Because no matter how scary it seems to commit when he’s unsure if he’s able to love someone, losing the opportunity to find out seems scarier.
For the first time in his life he wanted to reach out and ask her to hold his hand, to look at him the same way she looks at puppies because he only ever saw her look at them with love. He wants to hear her laugh at his jokes and he wants her to call him out on the shit he does and hold him accountable. He wants her to make an effort because she thinks he deserves to be saved, that he can be fixed. Maybe he should fix himself before asking her to love him, but she makes it better. With her, he finds all he thought he lost before – the will to try and do better.
“Are you okay?” Her voice catches him off guard, her eyes gentle, softer than he thought they could be. 
“You seem a million miles away”, she brushes over the part where he stared at her and he’s grateful. She could have called him a creep and walked away, but she didn’t. Instead, Ella reaches out, her hand resting atop of his and Grayson releases a heavy sigh, as if the weight of the world didn’t press on his chest anymore. It’s as if a single touch of her hand had made him whole.
“I feel better now.” Grayson musters a smile, “You make everything better.”
For the second time in his life, Grayson finds himself staring. Blinking seems so unnatural when his eyes are focused on such beauty as if a single moment lost would prove to be deadly. Not looking at her would make him crumble, blurt out the truth of who he is and how scared he is and how badly he needs her to hold him and say things will be alright. But she doesn’t.
For the second time in his life, Grayson found himself wishing for a girl to hold his hand, to tell him he’s worth saving. He wants her to smile and blush like she did when she brought his jersey back to him. He wants her to roll her pretty brown eyes and chuckle at him, but she doesn’t.
For the second time in his life, Grayson is wondering if he’s able to commit to anyone. Is he any better than the manwhore version of him from this alternative universe? 
He’s sitting next to a woman and he craves her attention and approval as if he doesn’t have a woman who offers all that and more. 
Does it really give him any reprieve if they’re the same soul cultivated in different universes? 
Perhaps she’d think it’s cute she captured his attention even in a different setting? Would Ella feel hurt or betrayed if he admitted he likes this version of her, as well?
“Are you okay?” Ella’s raspy voice catches him off guard, not just the sound, but the choice of wording. It’s the orotund tone she uses too; a little uncomfortable, lacking the softness his Ella would use with him. “You’re kinda staring and zoning out and I’m trying to explain this in the easiest way possible.”
Licking his lips, he nods, more to himself than her as he realizes this Ella and his Ella are definitely not the same person. Perhaps they look alike, but his Ella was kinder in a sense. Maybe kinder isn’t the proper word, but empathic?
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just have a slight headache.” Pushing his hair back, he clears his throat, “So, uh, there’s a game this Friday.”
“Oh”, her eyebrows raised, Ella tilts her head slightly to the left, waiting for him to explain.
“Well, we’re dating, fake dating and girlfriends usually wear their boyfriend’s jersey’s on the day of the game”, swallowing thickly, Grayson draws in a quick breath. “Would you maybe wear mine?”
Furrowing her eyebrows for a moment, Ella’s face relaxed again as her eyes fell to Grayson’s shaky left hand. Reaching out, she takes his hand in hers. Her grip is firm, certain, no doubts as she gives it a squeeze. 
“Yeah. It’s not like it’s my first time.” Letting out a breathless chuckle, she shrugs, “And we did agree. So, I’ll wear your jersey and you pass this exam tomorrow.”
“Deal.” Grayson smiles as she purses her lips, but his smile quickly falls as she lets go of his hand and turns to the notes. She held his hand, but it’s not nearly as long as he wished for her hand to linger.
“Oh, wow, it’s true.” Someone speaks from behind them and Grayson frowns, turning back only to see a blonde, tall guy with a smirk plastered on his face.
“Danny!” Ella exclaims, jumping to her feet and straight into this guy’s arms.
Grayson’s eyes narrow as he looks how low his hands rest on Ella’s back, more so as the guy’s green eyes pierce him. He’s sizing him up just as much as Grayson’s doing to him. So, Grayson stands – letting him have something to size up. They may be the same height, but Grayson’s muscular, much more than him.
“So you’re really dating the Quarterback? I thought it was a joke.” Danny chuckles, his arm around Ella as she shifts uncomfortably at his words.
“Why?” Grayson raises an eyebrow, “She’s a beautiful, witty, intelligent woman. Any man would be lucky to have her.”
Smiling, Ella looks to Danny who nods, “Yes, I wasn’t demeaning her by asking. I’m saying I’m shocked she’d stoop as low to date you.”
Escaping his embrace, Ella steps away, “What the fuck, Daniel?”
Rolling his eyes, Daniel clicks his tongue, “Oh, come on! He’s whored his way through campus, you’re probably the last one he didn’t bag. He’ll use you and cast you aside, Ells. Men like him can’t commit.”
Chuckling from frustration more than finding anything amusing, Grayson steps closer to Ella, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Sounds like you know the type, Derrick.”
“It’s Daniel”, he corrects Grayson, visibly annoyed.
“Sure it is, Dario.”
Nostrils flaring, eyes narrowing, Daniel clenches his fists. “You can’t seriously think Ella is stupid to fall for your tricks.”
“Ella is right here and she’s perfectly capable of making her own decisions”, Grayson remarks, stepping in front of her, “Imply she’s stupid again and I’ll knock you on your ass so fast you won’t know what hit you.”
“Gray”, that’s when he feels it – her arms wrapping around him, her hand over his heart. “Please calm down, please.” Her head rests on his back, her hold on him tightening.
Softening at the sound of her frightened voice, Grayson steps back. “You’re lucky I value her good opinion more than your jealous remarks, Dicky.”
“It’s Daniel!” Raising his voice, Daniel shakes his head. “Ella, come on. Let’s go watch that movie before I lose my temper.”
Lips parting, Grayson glances at Ella who is blinking fast, biting on her bottom lip anxiously. “I think I’m gonna stay.”
“Seriously?” Daniel frowns, his green eyes fixed on her.
“I think I need some time away from you to reevaluate our friendship.” Ella states, her voice shaky and Grayson feels her body begin to shake as well.
“What?” Pointing at Grayson, Daniel speaks, “This is his doing! He’s manipulating you!”
Shaking her head, Ella seems to be lost. After years of liking this guy, she’s only now wondering why. “No, he’s not. You’re the asshole here. Your behavior toward my boyfriend is telling me I need to step back and create some distance because if you’re incapable of trusting I can make my own choices, I can’t trust you either.”
“He’ll break your heart.” Daniel states and Ella lets out a breathless chuckle.
“Maybe. But it’s my heart to break.”
And that’s when Grayson felt his heart break a little too. When he looks at her, he sees her heart is already cracked from this altercation. Daniel had been the culprit, but he feels responsible.
Walking away, Daniel doesn’t spare the pair a second glance. Ella’s quiet, holding onto Grayson. He can see she’s struggling to hold her tears at bay, but she’s successful. “We should review this part once again.”
“You don’t have to be brave with me.” Grayson tries but she waves him off.
“I’m fine.”
She’s not, but she can’t talk about it. Breaking down in tears isn’t exactly what she wants around Grayson. She’s hurt, confused and angry, but none of those emotions will help her. She wanted to make Daniel jealous a little, make him see what he could have if he stopped friendzoning her, but she didn’t expect him to disrespect her or say hurtful things about Grayson, as true as they may be.
“I’m fine”, she repeats before letting out a shuddered breath. “So, how did you get this result?”
Knowing better than to push her further, Grayson swallows thickly and plays along, taking this time with her as a chance to help her clear her head. His Ella always worked herself to the bone when she didn’t want to think about something, maybe this Ella needed the same. If she’s anything like his Ella, she’ll open up when she’s ready and for now, Grayson has nothing but time.
--
“Hey”, Grayson comes up behind Ella, making her gasp.
Slapping a hand over her mouth to hold in a shrill scream, she turns around only to whack Grayson with her free hand. “Jerk!”
Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson’s mouth curved into a smile. “I wanted to hug my girl, not my fault she’s a scaredy cat!”
Rolling her eyes, she takes a step closer so he couldn’t miss her glare, “I prefer not to have Quarterbacks giving me heart attacks. A warning would have been nice!” Her voice is tremulous, her hands still shaky.
“I was gonna offer to walk you to your dorm”, Grayson’s smile falls as he realizes he truly did scare her which wasn’t his intention at all. He didn’t see her that day more than a few times in passing, so he got excited for a moment of her time finally seemed to be open for him to claim as his.
“Just don’t sneak up on me when the sun is going down, okay?” Ella crosses her arms over her chest as she looks left to right before her eyes set on Grayson who pales, realizing his mistake.
“Oh, shit”, he pinches the bridge of his nose, frustrated with himself. Who the fuck goes up to a girl in an empty street at dusk? Idiots like him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”
Cracking a smile, she nods, “Yeah”, exhaling loudly, she points ahead, “I live about ten minutes that way.”
“You’re letting me walk with you?” Grayson’s eyes widen, a little too excited and Ella could tell. 
“It’s getting dark and you’re kinda big and scary looking to potential killers.” Ella shrugs, “I don’t mind a bodyguard right now.”
The corners of his mouth turned up, licking his lips quickly before taking her hand in his. He noticed her tense up, but she didn’t fight his touch. Her hand felt sweaty, but he held on tightly as if it were his safety rope and letting go would mark him for death.
“Do you believe people can really change?” Grayson wonders out loud, hoping Ella would show some signs of changing her opinion on him. She let him hold her hand, isn’t that progress?
“I believe some people are beyond help.” Ella sighs, glancing up at Grayson whose face fell with her words, “But I don’t think you are. If anything, you feel like someone I’ve known my entire life and I know it’s insane but I feel like I trust you more than I should.”
His heart fluttered with her confession, acutely aware it means he has more of a chance than he originally thought.
“I feel the same way”, Grayson admits, “You’re like coming up for fresh air, like spring after a long winter.”
Beaming, she fanned herself with her free hand, “I - that was - uh, that was really poetic”, Ella stumbled over her words, unable to form a coherent sentence and she never realized how much Grayson affected her. She may have been attracted to him before, but she couldn’t pretend she didn’t like him now that she got a chance to see what’s behind his popularity façade. 
“You make me feel poetic”, Grayson’s husky tone made her simper, looking away as heat rushed to her face.
“Wow, okay! A silver tongue charmer.” Ella stops, stepping in front of Grayson with a coy smile dancing along her lips. “We’re here.”
Pressing his lips together, Grayson looked at the walls of the building with slight frustration. He wished they had more time to talk, it finally felt like he made progress.
“If I say I wish we could spend more time together, would you hold it against me?” Ella raises her eyebrows expectantly, her defenses lowered.
“I could come in”, Grayson gave her a half smile, one she could bask in all night long if she would just ignore the little voice in her head reminding her how dangerous Grayson Dolan is to her heart.
“It would be a bad idea.” She lets go of his hand, licking her lips. “Maybe another time.”
Nodding, Grayson sniffled, his allergies making his nose runny. “I swear I’m not crying, I have allergies!”
Giggling, Ella smirks, “Sure. And here I thought you were having a hard time parting with me.”
His smile fading, Grayson’s face loses the usual lightheartedness, “I always have a hard time parting with you.”
Knitting her eyebrows, Ella’s lips part, “You’ve just met me five days ago.”
Shrugging, Grayson steps back, “Feels like a lifetime.” Nodding over to the front door of her dorm, he manages a small smile, “Go in, I’ll wait till you’re inside.”
Licking her lips, she exhales loudly. She takes a few steps away, her back turned on Grayson. Stopping, she glances over her shoulder at him - standing there with the sun setting behind him, a picture perfect man with his hands in his front pockets and she felt breathless as she took him in. Shaking her head, she rushed toward him. With her hands on his shoulders, she stood on her tiptoes until her lips pecked his cheek - fleetingly, feather light kind of a kiss that nearly stopped Grayson’s heart.
“I’ll see you soon”, she told him before she ran to the door. She stopped as her hand gripped the metal handle, looking back at him with a grin and Grayson knew he was in trouble - he liked this Ella, a little too much.
--
Grayson rarely felt as confident as he did when he was on the field. The screaming crowd always gave him enough of an ego boost to run on for a couple of weeks after. It’s been a long time since he was on the field, much too long not to be anxious about it, especially when he knew his teammates weren’t exactly friendly with him at the moment. Apparently if you sleep around with their girlfriends behind their backs, they might end up resenting you for it. Yet another thing he could thank manwhore Grayson for.
The game isn’t the only thing making him nervous. Ella wearing his jersey meant they would officially claim their fake dating trope and knowing she might not be entirely into the idea had left him wondering if he’s forcing it on her.
A part of him wanted to hold her hand and ignore the sinking feeling and insecurities, but another part of him lived to see her smile. Her smile had made all the difference in the world. Instead of responding to the constant wave of girls trying to flirt their way to his pants, he only cared for one smile, one pair of eyes, just one girl who could make him swoon.
“How do we do this?” Ella frowns, looking at the door. She’s nervous, he can tell. All the classic signs of his Ella are there – biting her lip, crossing her arms at her chest only to tap her fingers on her forearms, blinking fast. She needed reassurance, Grayson simply wished to provide her with it when he placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in.
“Oh”, she exclaims, caught off guard. “Didn’t realize we’d go for the half embrace, jersey on the special game kind of a walk, but sure.” With a tight lipped smile, Ella made the first step toward the door and Grayson followed.
Far too happy about the initial few gasps upon their entrance, Grayson grins. It’s official now, he’s staking his claim and taking charge and Ella is once again his. The girls whisper about as they walk past them, the guys spare no attempt to hide their wandering eyes from taking in the girl that made a guy like Grayson Dolan fold and commit.
“Don’t you two look lovely”, Ethan winks as he crosses their path, suppressing a smile as Grayson’s shit eating grin grows wider if that’s even possible.
“Your brother seems to be happy with our endeavor”, Ella notes. “Almost as if he knows the truth.”
“He does, but he’s also a sucker for romance. Says this is how most books start, but they never end this way.”
Raising an eyebrow, Ella cranes her neck to better look at her so-called boyfriend, “And do pray tell, how do they end?”
“A wedding.” Grayson chuckles, leading her to her first class of the day.
Stopping, Ella untangles herself from Grayson’s side almost instantly, leaving Grayson with a frown paired with a pout she found almost endearing
“Good thing we’re not in a book.”
Nodding, Grayson purses his lips, “I guess so. Wouldn’t be the worst thing though.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, Ella narrows her eyes ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”
A small smile plays on his lips, one that is near her as he leans in. His lips brush her earlobe and she holds her breath, her heartbeat skipping as he whispers, “There are worse things than having you as a wife.”
Swallowing thickly, Ella watched him step back with a cocky smile, praying her cheeks aren’t red. But they are. Her cheeks seem to know no other color but red when Grayson is close by.
“I’ll see you for the game, alright?” Grayson presses two fingers to his lips only to rest them back on hers, “Call me if you need me.”
And so, as he walked away, Ella remained rooted. For the first time in a long time, she fully understood what all those girls saw in this frat manwhore and it concerned her greatly to know he could disarm her so easily and she allowed it to happen. What upset her further is that she wished it had been his lips atop hers, not just his fingers.
As the day continued, such as they always do, Ella found herself thinking back to moments spent with Grayson and it only amplified her curiosity. The Grayson she heard of felt entirely like a fabrication at this point. This Grayson, dare she say – her – Grayson is much better than anyone gives him credit for.
In the time spent together, she had come to see him as a flawed human being, but one who is learning from his mistakes and rectifying them. It’s not impossible for her to truly care for him if he continues down that path. Perhaps in the near future, she wouldn’t care about the dashing Daniel she was so enamored by. Perhaps Grayson could be the one she desires after all. 
There are worse fates than a wedding, she thought..
--
Grayson would like to say he didn’t miss Ella, but he’d be lying. No, he doesn’t mean this Ella, rather his Ella. He tells himself he needs to let go of her, of the softness in her raspy voice whenever she speaks to him or the flowery scents she’s obsessed with, but he cannot reconcile the possibility of never seeing her.
Could he truly fall for this Ella and accept his Ella is to be lost forever? Can he surrender and learn to live in his new life as if he had never known the tender kisses she’d leave on his jaw or the way she’d trail his tattoos every morning after making love. She’s the reason why he stopped calling it fucking or sex. Ella is why it became something more. How can anyone top that? Even if it’s another version of her, what if Grayson never moves on?
“You good?” Ethan smacks him on the back and Grayson’s breath leaves him. Eyes wide, he nods, inhaling sharply.
“How big is this game?” Grayson wets his lips, finally hearing the cheering from the stands as he comes closer to the tunnel. Ethan shrugs, swiping his thumb just under his bottom lip.
“Career defining. We have scouts watching us tonight.” Ethan frowns, “If you wanted to fuck up our lives, botching tonight would be a fucktastic way to do it.”
“Great”, Grayson releases a heavy sigh, “No pressure then.”
Rolling his eyes, Ethan places his hands on Grayson’s padded shoulders, “Look, you’re not bad. You’ve been busting your ass in practice and you’re in shape, so just remember the plays and we’ll be good.”
“I’m the fucking quarterback, E. Why didn’t you take over for the night?”
Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly, Ethan gives Grayson a pointed look, “Because I have faith in you.”
“Somehow that makes it worse”, Grayson shakes his head, lips pressing into a thin line.
“Ella’s watching. Impress the girl and scouts and you’ll be on top of the world.”
And with that, Grayson put his helmet on and rushed onto the field with the rest of the team. He didn’t know what would happen, but he knew he had to try. If he doesn’t try, what’s the point? Life is about trying, again and again. Maybe some things are far too broken to be fixed, but he can piece himself up into a man every version of Ella would be proud to call hers.
Taking his position, Grayson scanned the stands quickly. His eye caught the empty seat where Ella was supposed to be and his heart sunk. She didn’t come.
Drawing a deep breath, Grayson swallows thickly.
“She’s with the cheerleaders!” Ethan shouts and Grayson’s head whips around to the cheerleaders only to find Ella waving at him.
A grin forms on his face as he waves back, wishing nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He really needs her tonight and maybe he can’t love her like he should, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her at all. This Ella, his Ella, any Ella – this woman’s soul is meant for him as much as his is meant for her. Just because he’s not the Grayson who gave her the jersey she ended up bringing back to him, doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy being the Grayson she likes. And she likes him – Grayson can tell.
Once the game started, Grayson had realized one thing - football is the way his entire being sang - a kind of music played in a way only the players and fans could hear. It was as if it is his opera, a tale of emotions told in struggle for the chance of earned glory.
Nothing could lessen the adrenaline coursing through his veins – not the mud, not the pain of being tackled nor the way he swore he’d pass out from all the running and shouting. Each time he managed to bring that football over the line, Grayson looked to Ella who jumped in excitement as if she actually cared about the result.
Deep down, Ella did care. It meant a lot to Grayson, not just winning but his position and popularity all stemmed from his ability to run with a ball without getting a concussion from a tackle. Every time he was on the ground, Ella had to physically restrain herself from running to his side. It hurt her to hear his pained grunts and for a moment, she cursed the moment she decided to ask her roommate to get her down to the field with the cheerleaders. She cashed in a favor to be closer to Grayson, regardless of the result and somehow she ended up getting a closer view of each time he was viciously brought onto the ground.
By the end, Grayson scored the winning touchdown and the crowd went wild. There isn’t a soul in that stadium that could deny the game was one of the best they’ve seen and no one doubted Grayson Dolan is a quarterback meant for much more than college football.
She saw him take his helmet off, the sweat matting his hair onto his forehead. The smile upon his lips felt like the sun itself shone upon her, especially when his hazel eyes found hers.
Fighting off his teammates' attempt to pick him up and carry him, Grayson ran straight toward her.
Ella heard about it, read about it – that moment when time seems to stop and you’re caught in between heartbeats and your breath is caught in your throat. Her heart is only human, flawed and frail and it feels as if it would give up on fighting to keep up with her emotions that explode inside her as Grayson comes closer and closer until she finds his arms around her waist and her feet off the ground.
She’s above him, her hands wrapped around his neck, fingertips buried in the hair at the back of his head. Her forehead rests atop of his, her smile as wide as his and for a moment, she throws caution out with the wind. Grayson spins them around, a throaty chuckle escaping him and his sweat doesn’t bother her even as she feels him soak her clothes. She doesn’t care about the people watching or the flashing cameras and she could care less about what anyone thinks about how odd of a pair they seem to be.
In the moment, she realizes he had wrecked her plans. She wanted to use him to gain Daniel’s affection, but he’s surprised her once again and he’s her man -  at least for the night. Ella had learned one important thing – Grayson is full of surprises and she wouldn’t mind discovering every inch of his complicated mind.
Without a warning, she leans down – stealing the few inches of distance between them. Her lips press against Grayson’s who freezes with the action. His facial features are heaven to Ella’s heart and soul, but she could be so happily mesmerized by those lips for all the days heaven grants her to come.
No longer stunned, Grayson’s dry lips join Ella’s in the public display of affection he certainly didn’t expect. In that moment of the kiss their chemistry becomes an ever-bright flame no one could deny, not even Ella.
And a sobering thought reminded her this might be just another kiss for Grayson. He may be handsome and charming, but there is a reason he’s also known as a manwhore and that thought makes her dread the future she could have with him. No matter how hard she tries, all she can see is heartbreak and he’d be fine – she would be the one to suffer, grieving for the living. He’s put roots in her heart and yet she can’t allow for them to grow.
Breaking the kiss, she draws a shuddered breath as her eyes remain closed for a moment longer. She just wants to remember it – the way he had made her feel like she’s whole, at home. It’s always going to be their first kiss, and if Ella had anything to do with it, it would be their last as well.
“Go”, she opens her eyes only to be met with his lopsided grin and a new kind of glow to his beautiful eyes. He looks blissful.
“Come with me”, his voice is hoarse, desperately holding onto her. But the moment’s passed, he can’t keep her a prisoner in his embrace forever. Grayson puts her down, his hands moving from her hips to her hands, barely holding on by their fingertips.
“You have a whole team waiting on you, a bunch of reporters and I know there are scouts who would love to talk to you. I’ll see you in the morning for our tutoring session if you don’t oversleep.” She chuckles, trying to hide how shaky she feels on the inside. Somehow, telling him to go felt deeper than that and she could see Grayson pick up on that too.
His forehead wrinkles, his eyebrows furrowing as he steps closer and she finds herself breathless. Wasn’t he close enough?
“You’re more important. Say the word and we can go anywhere you want.”
She could hear him clearly, feel the earnest tone of his voice in her bones. He seems to care about her but that promises nothing. Grayson is dangerous in the kind of way that would leave her desolate and wounded for years to come. Daniel is the safer option. The jealousy he displayed was enough to confirm her suspicions of him liking her back and she had to choose the lesser evil.
“Be by our tree in the morning and don’t leave me waiting too long, okay?” She smiles, trying to reassure him and yet his heart aches.
“I won’t drink. I’ll be there.” Grayson places a kiss on her forehead, a long lasting kind of a kiss that somehow felt more intimate than the one they shared minutes ago.
“Stay safe”, she steps back and as their hands part at the fingertips, Grayson swallows thickly. A part of him screamed at him to stay, but the other part could see Ella needed to be alone. He needed to respect her desire for space even if it hurts him.
--
Grayson honored his promise not to drink even a single drop of alcohol, despite peer pressure. He had decided that while Ella may have wanted to go home earlier, it didn’t mean he couldn’t come by and wish her a good night. Truth be told, he’d have traded the night for a moment with her, but he couldn’t destroy a life that isn’t his – not really.
He did manage to secure a few tryouts and summer program offers for himself, but when the talks were over, Grayson hit the showers and headed straight to Ella’s dorm room. 
He had one simple thought in mind – he’d admit he likes her and take her reaction for what it is. She may care for him or she may not, regardless of the outcome Grayson refused to cower and hide his feelings.
Maybe that’s why it shattered him so when he had seen her lip-locked with someone else. 
Lips parting, he felt himself sway as the gravity of the moment tore into him. She had taken his heart and she broke it apart, shredded the last bit of sanity he clung to. It feels like death, just the same as bereavement and in this quiet moment as he’s unable to avert his gaze it chokes the breath from his body and short circuits his mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace now there is emptiness, echoes of a love he put his everything into.
Stumbling back, clutching his chest, Grayson walked back to his room. He can hardly remember how he got there, but he knew that he never missed his old life more. 
Ella was right, she’d never fall in love with a jock. She’d never fall in love with him in this life. 
While she was always in his head, even when he was scared to death to admit to it, Grayson seemed to be an afterthought in her head. 
He’s no longer afraid to admit the one truth he never told anyone – Grayson Dolan is wholeheartedly in love with Marizella Coleman, hopelessly hers in every universe he finds himself in.
There isn’t anything left to cling to, yet he can’t help but whisper her name under his breath – over and over, Grayson repeats her name like a lullaby until he finally falls asleep. 
--
“What exactly does this mean?” Ella traced a moon tattoo on Grayson’s chest, her interest piqued. It took five months for her and Grayson to get intimate, two more before she broke out of her shell and truly embraced that Grayson is hers. 
When she first met him, Grayson was lost. His priorities were all over the place, his mental health at an all time low and his bed was occupied by a different girl each night. 
It bothered her how careless he was with his mind and body, even more so by the fact that she wanted to give him her heart. But she bore witness to his ability to break hearts and she didn’t want to be another one in the line. 
If she was honest with herself, Grayson didn’t even know she existed. Not until he nearly knocked her out on the beach while chasing a ball. She knew him before he ever knew her and that made her careful, paranoid in a sense. If all those beautiful women couldn’t make him stay, how would she, an average girl next door, ever keep his interest long enough for him to see that she’s perfect for him?
“Nothing, it’s just pretty.” Grayson murmurs, wishing he could just wrap her up in his arms and forget about the world for the day. 
“You don’t get a tattoo because it’s pretty, Grayson”, Ella’s croaky morning voice forced his eyes open and a smile to form on his lips. He truly loves the sound of her voice more than the bird’s song.
“It’s my aesthetic”, Grayson’s cheeky smile makes her roll her eyes.
“Well then, I really shouldn’t show you the tattoo of my first boyfriend’s name then, should I?” She shrugged, turning away from Grayson who sat up quickly, his eyes wide and body rigid.
“I’D HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW”, Grayson exclaims, his voice penetratingly loud so much so Ella could hear Ethan grumble from his bedroom.
“It’s not easily noticeable”, Ella chuckles as Grayson’s jaw clicks, “But it’s my aesthetic, so it’s nothing. Maybe we can name our first born like that so it doesn’t go to waste”, she glances at Grayson with a coy look in her eyes, finding him heaving and ready to throw hands.
“Over my dead body”, Grayson growls, pulling her back to him as she yelps. Her laugh drowns out her scream as Grayson pins her down to the mattress beneath him, his hands firmly holding her by the wrists.
“Whatchu’ gonna do, big boy?” She teases him as he cocks an eyebrow, pursing his lips.
“I’ll make sure you scream my name so many times that no one ever comes to your mind again.”
--
Ella didn’t have any tattoos, but Grayson sure had fun finding out on his own. That was the first time she was no longer timid around him and he absolutely loved her teasing. Grayson didn’t enjoy remembering his Ella as much as he used to. Every memory brought him pain now that she was gone; that both of them were gone.
Avoiding Ella had become second nature and it wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be. 
Waking up earlier to get to practice first, leaving last had given him no time to ponder on his broken heart. He’d arrive last and leave first during classes, avoiding the tree he had met her by twice so far. She did text him, leave a few voice messages as well, but Grayson didn’t bother checking what they said. 
Why torture himself further?
However, he forgot one simple fact about Ella that seems to be universal – she’s stubborn and that stubbornness had led to him finding her asleep with a book open on her chest right before his bedroom doors.
“Jesus”, he whispers under his breath, dragging his right hand across his face before resting his hands on his hips. Licking his lips, Grayson lets out a heavy sigh, unsure what to do. He can’t be around her anymore, not when he had a taste of happiness and lost it. 
He held tightly to her because she’s Ella – because her soul speaks to his, because even in the darkest nights she would be his compass. But this Ella isn’t his Ella, she’s never going to be his Ella and he hoped he’d somehow convince himself she is. 
Truth be told, he didn’t know what he was thinking when he got involved with her. She had no recollection of their time together in his universe, she had no obligation to care about him and his feelings. She barely knows him and what she knows is scarcely him and mostly the Grayson that belongs in this universe. 
Reluctantly, Grayson taps her shoulder. She flinches, the book falling with a thud as her wide eyes fix on his figure and that’s when they narrow and set aflame.
“Where the hell have you been?!” She stands abruptly, pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, “I’ve been trying to reach you for a week!” Poking his chest, her nostrils flare, “I thought you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere!”
Wrapping his hand around her index finger, Grayson encases her entire hand along with it. “I’m sorry, I needed time.”
“Time? Time for what?” She frowns, the horizontal line between her eyebrows forming. 
“To make my peace with you and Kenny”, he sighs. He watches her face change from a frown to disbelief and when she rolls her eyes, he knows she’s annoyed with him.
“It’s Danny and he’s not my anything.” Placing her free hand on his cheek, she cocks her head to the left ever so slightly, “He’s not even a friend anymore. I don’t give a shit about him.”
“So why was he kissing you on game night?” Grayson counters, lips pressed in a thin line while hers part.
“Were you stalking me?”
Shaking his head, Grayson releases her hand while dragging the other one away from his face. 
“No. I wanted to see you and I did. With him.” Clenching his jaw, Grayson felt a wave of jealousy wash over him and it didn’t help that Ella had chuckled dryly.
“He kissed me and I was shocked but I pushed him away. And I told him I’m taken.” Licking her lips, she averts her gaze to the thread hanging from his sleeve. “By you”, she continues, “I told him you’re the one and I went inside and went to sleep.”
“You chose me?” Grayson releases a shaky breath, unsure what to do. “You can’t choose me, Ella.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, she steps back, “Oh! You don’t like me?” She swallows thickly, folding her arms across her chest. In all the scenarios she had made up in her head, him not liking her back was never one of them. It mortified her how silly she must look to him.
“No, no, I do!” Grayson stops her before she spirals, cupping her cheeks gently, “I like you, if I’m being completely honest, but I’m not…” Closing his eyes, Grayson smiles in disbelief over what he’s about to say, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but I have to be honest.”
“You’re scaring me”, she says softly, her voice shaky. 
“If I told you I’m Grayson from an alternative universe and that we’re a couple in that universe, would you believe me?” 
Her breathing becomes softer, the pensive look melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. “Okay, that’s cute, but I don’t think it’s time for jokes.”
“You started writing a book when you were sixteen and you never told anyone.” Grayson states and she stumbles back, eyes wide. She had never spoken aloud of her book, never once. That book remains in a locked folder on her old laptop, not even she had laid her eyes on it in two years. She gave up on it completely. 
“How?”
“You absolutely adore the ocean and believe you were a mermaid in a previous life.” Grayson continues as Ella pales.
“You’ve always hated coffee, but if you have to drink it you add half a cup of milk and four sugar cubes.”
Shaking her head, she runs her hands through her hair, unable to comprehend what Grayson is saying.
“You’ve always been terrified of the dark, so you sleep with a pink turtle nightlight you’ve had since you were ten. You have a beauty mark between your breasts you absolutely hate and are insecure about, but I find it sexy as hell.”
“HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT?” Ella shouts in panic, her breathing labored. 
“Because I know you. From a different universe, but it’s you. And I love you. With all my heart and I know this is crazy, but I woke up here and everything changed overnight.” Slumping to the ground, Grayson hides his face in his hands. “And I fucking miss her. I miss my Ella so, so much and I have never been worthy of her, but she loves me anyway and I’m here.”
A hand on his shoulder makes his heart skip a beat, bearing her weight as she uses him to slide to the ground next to him. 
“What is she like?” Ella’s shaky hand slides down his arm, slipping into his hand. She’s quiet, defeated by the news, in shock if she’s entirely honest. It’s way too much all at once and she never thought it could be possible she’d like Grayson Dolan so much it hurt to imagine him with anyone, even if that someone is herself.
“She sold that book and is writing a second book while studying. And she’s kind, witty and shy but incredibly outgoing with people she’s comfortable with.” Grayson doesn’t even notice the smile on his face as he speaks of his Ella, but this Ella does. She’s jealous of her alternative self for having a guy like Grayson smile as he mentions her. She hates her other self for being brave enough to publish the book and live her dreams...well, old dreams. She’s not dreaming about being a writer anymore.
“I love her, but I was afraid to tell her that. I was afraid of fully committing myself to her.” Grayson admits, unsure what good it does him now.
“When did you wake up here?” She interrupts him, wanting to know what was him and what wasn’t. Has it always been this Grayson? Did she spend all this time falling in love with the wrong guy?
“Woke up with a killer headache after some frat party. Think it was that party when he gave you the jersey.” Grayson glances at her, noticing a small smile upon her lips.
“So it was him then”, she sighs. Leaning her head on the door, she closes her eyes. “But all of this was you.”
“Yeah.” Grayson intertwines their fingers, seeking comfort. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be”, Ella shrugs, “That Grayson wouldn’t have bothered with me.”
“That Grayson is a manwhoring mess.” Grayson chuckles, “But I was the same before I met my Ella. Maybe he just needs a nudge in the right direction.”
“Is it bad if I wish you to stay here?” Ella’s voice is quiet and wobbly, just above a whisper and it catches Grayson off guard.
“Is it bad if I say I fell in love with you just as I fell for my Ella?” Grayson counters and she lets out a breathless chuckle.
“It’s not bad, I mean I’m still Ella. Just on a different path in life.” Shrugging, she leans her head on Grayson’s shoulder, “Maybe that Grayson is you on a different path too? Maybe he doesn’t need an Ella of his own?”
Wrapping an arm around Ella, Grayson brings her closer to him, “Every Grayson needs an Ella.”
And in the silence, they found the comfort they both seek. It’s not right, but it felt perfect.
“You two are gloomy.” Ethan states, scaring them both. They were perfectly content staring at nothing in particular, just sitting there with the inner struggle wrecking them apart.
“You should wear a bell”, Grayson remarks and Ethan rolls his eyes.
“When you say shit like that, I genuinely can’t tell the difference”, Ethan steps aside, trying to get to the door.
“Does he know?” Ella asks and Grayson nods.
“Yeah, he’s the only one who knew.”
Furrowing his eyebrows, Ethan glares at Grayson, “So you told her?”
“Yup”, Ella exclaims.
“Great!” Ethan opens the door, letting the pair fall on their backs with a string of curses from Grayson’s mouth and a small yelp from Ella’s. 
Grayson barely got up to his feet, helping Ella up as well when Ethan screamed, “KRISTINA FOLLOWED ME BACK!”
--
Laying on the bed with Grayson beside her, Ella wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Part of her thought she’s insane for believing him so quickly, yet another part of her knew with absolute certainty that no one couldn’t know the details he mentioned a few weeks ago and that if he knew them, the other version of her must have truly loved him to spill the beans.
Ever since then, they’ve been inseparable. Ella knew it was unwise to spend so much time with Grayson, to get involved more than she already has. One day, she’d wake up next to the other Grayson and she’d be left alone. It would be over before it started and she didn’t know how to accept the fact he’s never going to be hers. Not really.
“What are you thinking about?” Grayson breaks the silence, noticing she’s deep in thought.
“About the day I wake up to the other you.” She admits and Grayson frowns, propping himself up on his elbows. He’s never going to get used to how straightforward this Ella is. He both loves and fears that about her.
“You think it’s gonna happen?”
Nodding, she sighs, “I just feel it. It’s unexplainable.”
Swallowing thickly, Grayson licks his lips, “If it does, don’t give up on me.” 
Grayson’s eyes flicker to her lips only to pull away before he dares to even think about it further. They may be spending all of this time together and sleep in the same bed most nights, but they’ve never once kissed since the night of the game. Ella said she wanted to give her other self some much deserved respect and not cheat though she wasn’t sure if it qualified as cheating either.
“You? That won’t be you, Gray.” Ella rubs her nose, sniffling. “He won’t be you, just like I’ll never be Ella for you. Which sucks.” Tears brim her long eyelashes, tugging at Grayson’s heartstrings.
“You are Ella. Even though you’re a little braver and confident, you’re her and she is you.” Grayson tries, but Ella shakes her head.
“No. That’s not true! I don’t have her memories or experiences and that’s what shapes a person. That Grayson won’t be you and truth be told, I’m not sure if I want him at all.” Sitting up, she hides her face in her hands.
 “I’m not braver either, I’m just rougher around the edges. I could never publish that book like she did or move to Los Angeles and date a famous YouTuber.” Breathing fast, Ella felt like her head would explode.
“Hey, hey, hey”, Grayson says softly, his hands running up and down her back in hopes of soothing her. “Ells, what’s wrong?”
“Everything!” She exclaims, “I want you and I can’t have you! I can’t be with you when you’re already mine but in a different world and even if I ignore that, I can’t ignore the fact that sometime, even ten years down the line I could wake up to the other Grayson instead of you and it’s making me crazy!”
Wrapping his arms around Ella, Grayson held her close as she wept long into the night and he had never quite understood all the stories of the way your entire being hurts when your heart is broken and his heart is fucking shattered.
He’s holding the reason for his existence in his arms and he can’t ease her pain because he’s the cause of it. He wants to love her and she wants to love him back, but they can’t and Ella is right – even if he ignored the fact he’s not from her universe and went for it, there was no telling how long he’d be there.
In a spiritual life, much like the physical, there is an inhale and an exhale; the soul needs to inhale the feelings of another soul in order to claim them, to enrich them before returning it in an exhale. Without this, there is no life for the heart, without it, the heart is suffocating, suffering, withering.
And that’s exactly how Grayson and Ella feel right now – suffocating, suffering, withering.
As her breathing evens out and Grayson realizes she’s fallen asleep despite the occasional sob she lets out in her sleep, he looks up at the ceiling and sighs heavily as if the world’s weight is crushing him.
“Please make this right. For her sake. I don’t even care what happens to me, just make Ella happy again. Please.”
And when Grayson closed his eyes, he never imagined it would be the last night he spends in her bed.
--
With closed eyes, Grayson reached out for Ella. He didn’t remember when she slipped out of his arms in the night, but he wouldn’t consciously keep it that way. Having her close felt like a lifeline for Grayson, even if they were trying to keep it platonic. Too often did he consider just moving on with her, pretending as if his life is in a universe made not for him.
He wanted to stay and help Ethan get with Kristina, to help his sister start her own design company if she was still interested in that field or to simply go home and see his family. He wondered far too often how they were, but he never dared to ask Ethan about it. It’s a sore subject for Grayson, even now. He imagined it was the same for Ethan.
“Ella?” He grumbles, squinting to find her when his arm fails. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks at the much larger bed he’s on with a concerned look upon his face. “What the –“, he starts only to recognize the bed-sheets Ella spent three days making a pro/con list for. “Oh God”, Grayson jumps to his feet, looking around wildly.
The lamp next to his bed is replaced by an old alarm clock, his windows are covered with drapes he doesn’t remember having and the floor is covered in clothes Grayson never saw in his life. Looking down, he finds his thighs are covered in tattoos and a choked sob escapes him.
He’s not sure if he’s happy or not about the possibility of being in his own universe again. There is still a chance he’s in a new universe altogether, but even if he’s back home, what exactly is he coming home to? What exactly did he leave behind?
That Ella must have had a shock of a lifetime when she woke up to the manwhore version of himself and he wished he could apologize to her for it, but he’ll never get to see her or talk to her again.
And then he remembered, “Ella”, he breathed out as he ran to the door. He’s not sure if she’s even there, if she even stayed after the switch brought his worst self to her bed and he realized his Ella had woken up to that Grayson too.
Heart in his throat, Grayson stumbles as he heads to the kitchen where he hears movement. He isn’t sure what is waiting for him here, but when he sees the messy bun he always loved to untangle and the back of her neck that he loved to kiss, Grayson felt his heart stop.
Swallowing thickly, he stood there, frozen at the sight of her. She’s so close that he could have her in his arms in a few steps, but would she forgive him if he told her he kissed the other Ella? Would she forgive him if he told her he had started liking the life he had in that universe?
Wetting his lips, he lets his heart guide him as his feet take him closer and once he’s there, his arms wrap around her on instinct. His head rests on her shoulder and he can feel her tense up, but he’s barely holding back tears as he inhales her familiar scent.
Grayson missed Ella in every possible way. His soul yearned for hers and being back in her presence had made him crumble.
“What are you doing?” She groans, trying to unwrap his arms from around her waist. “I told you I will never sleep with you!” She raises her voice as she slaps at his hands and Grayson finally snaps out of it, releasing her.
She whips around, eyes narrowed at Grayson who furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, Ella’s nostrils flare, “You have to stop this! I’m not a toy you can play with whenever you feel like it. I’m in pain!” She exclaims, pausing as she averts her gaze and her hand drops, “Do you even know what seeing you feels for me?” She sniffles as tears fill her eyes. “You’re wearing his face and body, but you’re too different. You’ve become better, you’ve done the work, but I love him. I can’t just forget about that.”
Drawing in a deep breath, Grayson felt his heart break further. It never occurred to him how hard this might have been for his Ella. She was stuck with the manwhore who would have broken her heart and he did. It was a relief she knew it wasn’t him, at least. His Ella knew better than the other Ella.
“And I love you”, Grayson manages a smile, “I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you.”
“What?” Ella crosses her arms, looking at him as if he’s offended her.
“It’s me, Ella. I’m back.” Grayson tries reaching out for her hand only to have her shake her head and move away. She’s physically revolted by his presence while he’s aching for a smile from her pressed lips.
“You’ve tried this before. I’m not going to fall for your shitty tricks”, Ella heaves, a hand placed on her chest as her tears spill over.
“He tried this?!” Grayson practically growls, slamming his fist on the countertop. “Did he touch you?” Grayson’s jaw clenches as he looks to a shaky Ella who isn’t sure what to say or believe anymore. It’s like she’s drowning with no help in sight.
“Please stop”, she croaks, “I thought you and I were friends now.”
Chuckling dryly, Grayson shakes his head, “Your pet fish was called Goldie because she was gold. Your turtle Rocky bit her tail off and she died.” Stepping closer, he points at her chest, “You have a birthmark right between your breasts.” Pursing his lips, he wonders what else he could tell her. Her eyes are wide, glistening with tears, but he has to let her know it’s him. “When we first met you called me and Ethan snotty teenagers. You hate my decorating skills and you hate my snoring.”
“Grayson?” Her voice is shaky as she steps closer, reaching her trembling hand out. Her palm finds its way to his cheek and Grayson leans into it with a soft sigh. “You came back to me?”
Taking her face in his hands, he rests his forehead on hers, “I did.”
“It’s been so hard”, she whispers and he closes his eyes.
“You were right, you know?” Grayson’s nose brushes hers, “You wouldn’t like the jock Grayson. But I really liked college Ella.” 
Grayson often debated if he should be honest with Ella if he somehow made his way back home and despite his doubts, he remembers their relationship is founded on honesty. He promised her he’d always tell her the truth and he couldn’t look her in the eye and ignore the fact he had felt a little heartbroken about the Ella he left behind.
“You met me?” She steps back, wanting to look at him better.
“I’ll always find you”, Grayson smiles.
“You fell for her, didn’t you?” Ella steps back, hurt flashing behind her brown eyes.
“I did fall for her”, Grayson admits, “But I love you.”
Staring at Grayson, Ella didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to feel either. Would she be right to hold it against him? After all, it was still her. Grayson loved her, in every universe. So why does it feel like he had cheated on her? Why does her heart bleed?
“Did you touch her like you touch me?”
Breaking eye contact, Grayson leans on the countertops, “I kissed her once.”
“Once”, Ella chuckles dryly. “I almost had sex with the other you, but at least I didn’t know the truth. You knew the girl you were kissing wasn’t really me. She’s someone I will never be and she will never be me.”
“Please don’t hate me”, Grayson croaks as tears form in his eyes. He’s not ready to lose her, but he’s not ready to keep her with him by lying. She deserves better and he knows that.
“I don’t hate you, Grayson”, she lets out a shuddered breath, “I wish I did. It would be easier.”
“Easier?” Grayson’s eyebrows furrow when she takes her bag and puts it over her shoulder.
“I need some time and I need you not to look for me.” It was killing her to do this, to take a step back from their relationship. Ella needed some perspective, to find a way to breathe again and being close to Grayson always felt like she was trying to keep her head above the crashing waves.
“Ella”, Grayson reaches for her but she recoils from him, again. She had done it once when she thought it was his other self, but she knew this was him. She still didn’t want him.
“I have never asked anything from you, but I need this.” Ella covers her mouth to stop a sob from passing her lips as she turns from Grayson and heads for the door only to run into Ethan and Kristina.
Kristina is quick to wrap her arms around Ella, both of them leaving through the front door.
But Ethan wasn’t leaving. He turned to Grayson with a stone cold look in his eyes and headed for him with a formed fist prepared to leave a mark.
“What did you do?!” Ethan shouted, ready to lay Grayson out in a single punch.
Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson circles the countertops so he’d be on a different side from Ethan who wanted blood.
“Whoa! It’s me, E! It’s Grayson! I’m back!” Grayson insisted as he ran in circles with Ethan, “YOUR FIRST TIME WAS WHEN YOU WERE 17!” He shouts and Ethan stops, eyes wide. “You also drank a beer when you were 16, but you’d never admit it. You hated onions as a kid!”
“Grayson?”
--
“How cool was the other me?” Ethan smirks as Grayson rolls his eyes, unsure if he should be annoyed or angry at his brother for not doing a better job at protecting Ella from the other Grayson who had clearly left her broken with issues he didn’t know how to resolve.
“You were single as fuck and a nerd”, Grayson sighs, “Kristina wasn’t even an acquaintance and the car you drove was more like a trash can running on fumes.”
Staring blankly, Ethan swallows thickly, “I don’t like that universe.”
“I liked it”, Grayson covers his face with his hands, his voice filled with remorse. “I didn’t know my life here was imploding while I was living the life I genuinely prefer over this one.”
“You’re saying college football was better than this house?” Ethan raises an eyebrow, “The money we have, the world we’ve seen, people we’ve met?”
Nodding, Grayson drags his palms down his face, “It was so much better.”
“Well, good for you. Meanwhile Kristina and I were dealing with a manwhore baby Grayson with no impulse control who was a pathological liar and manipulator.” Flicking a crumb from the countertop onto Grayson, Ethan continues, “Ella cried herself to sleep every night and we didn’t know what the fuck is happening.”
“She said she almost slept with him”, Grayson gulps audibly, unsure if he’s feeling guilty over the position that put her in, angry she’s angry at him when she nearly did something worse or jealous over the fact she had been touched by what seems to be the demonic version of him.
“You literally admitted to kissing the other Ella, I hardly think you have any room to judge anything she did Grayson.” Ethan’s tone is cold, his words harsh but truthful. Grayson has no right to be angry or jealous, he was a willing participant while his Ella was tricked.
“I can’t explain it”, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, moving it away from his forehead. Truth be told, he got used to the short hair from the other universe, he couldn’t wait to cut it again. “She was still Ella. They had their differences, but she was still Ella and the more time I spent with her, less I wanted to be away from her.”
“Look, this is uncharted territory. We can’t exactly define any rules in a situation that had no rules, so just give her a moment to deal with this on her own terms.” Ethan places his hand on Grayson’s shoulder, hoping to comfort his brother but even he was having issues looking at him normally after everything the other Grayson did.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Grayson frowns, lips parted as Ethan’s eyes widen.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m about to fuck something up”, Grayson’s frown deepens as Ethan presses his lips together, genuinely having flashbacks to the insanity of manwhore Grayson and the stress he caused.
“I’m just waiting for you to start complaining about the tattoos or fake gag at vegan food or order a bunch of fried chicken or maybe scream about a game you’re missing.” Ethan rambles on as Grayson cackles, shaking his head.
“Man, I’m a dick!”
“Oh, no, the dick part was you hitting on Ella and then winking at every cute girl in your way.” Ethan raises both eyebrows as he shrugs, “I did smack you every time I could tho’, Kris did too.”
“Good”, Grayson exhales through his nose, his lips pressed as his eyes fall to his hands. “I really didn’t want to hurt her. Either Ella”, Grayson’s voice is meek, defeated and the empty look in his eyes speaks volumes of the weight that’s been forced upon his heart.
“I know”, Ethan manages a smile, “You’ll get her back.”
“Think so?” Grayson raises his eyebrows, an inkling of hope lingering deep behind his brown hues.
Ethan’s smile widens in an instant, “Know so.”
--
In this broken world Ella is Grayson’s world, his healer, his light and love, good women are that way. He missed her, more and more as each day passed and while it seemed like the world was spinning madly on, Grayson’s life felt like it stopped the day she walked out the door.
Kristina came back hours later, but Ella didn’t. What made it worse is that whatever Ella shared with Kristina had turned her against Grayson as well. She didn’t want to speak to him, much less to convey his messages to Ella and Grayson was sure they were in contact.
This heartbreak was unexpected, as they always are - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Grayson expected to be blissful if he ever found his way back, but he only found misery. He could only blame himself for having broken not one, but three hearts the night he made his way back home.
Oftentimes, Grayson wondered what happened with the other Grayson and Ella when they woke up together, sharing a single bed. Did he once again try to lie and manipulate Ella or was he decent enough to tell her the truth.
Grayson feared he didn’t. He could only hope he was better with her, for her. Ella deserved that much and he believed she was more compatible with manwhore Grayson anyway. If anyone can whip him back into shape it would be her.
And his Ella, his beautiful, kind Ella…He thought about her all the time. What is she up to? Where is she? Is she as lonely as he is?
He failed her, both of them. He failed himself too.
Hearing Ethan talk about the constant stress the other Grayson put on her, their fights, her refusal to walk away because she hoped it would get better. She didn’t give up on him then, even though he was his worst self, but she walked away when she heard he had made a conscious decision to kiss someone else. 
He betrayed her trust and despite feeling guilty, he couldn’t regret it. Meeting her in a different universe only convinced him she’s his soulmate more. He couldn’t imagine life without her, in any reality.
And as a month passed, Grayson found it impossible to sleep in the bed he once shared with Ella. He preferred to sleep on the couch, even if his back felt broken in the morning. The pain was comforting compared to the loneliness the bed evoked. It was better off this way. He hated himself in that bed, he blamed himself every night and morning.
Closing his eyes, Grayson felt a tear roll down his temple. If he’s entirely honest, he’s not sure if he’s just too fucked up to ever love anyone like he loves Ella. He swallows thickly as his heart clenches in pain as his senses trick him into believing she’s with him.
For a moment, he could have sworn he smelled her perfume, the one he was absolutely smitten with. She wore it when they first met, she wore it when they first kissed and she wore it when they first became one. That perfume signifies all their firsts, all the good memories and even the fights he remembers carry a nostalgic happiness to them. Fighting is better than the silence she left him in. If she’s fighting, she cares but when she stops, that’s when crippling fear takes place and Grayson’s been consumed by that fear for too long.
A weight falls on him, a warmth engulfing him. The scent is stronger now, almost like she’s still there with him and in a moment of weakness, Grayson’s lips pass a strangled sob from deep within twenty one grams of soul and the sanity he once possessed.
“Don’t cry”, a raspy voice fills the silence and Grayson’s heart nearly stops. He’s hallucinating now, clearly he’s lost his mind. “If you cry, I cry”, the voice returns as a whisper and Grayson’s not sure if it’s all a dream.
Opening his eyes, he gasps once he sees Ella’s head resting on his chest. She’s laid upon him like a safety blanket, a tad too short to truly cover him but effective in its intent.
“You’re here”, Grayson breathes out and her head moves up so her eyes meet his.
“I couldn’t trust you, I didn’t even trust myself that day. I didn’t dare let you near me scared that I’ll lose you the same, but I can’t let that fear dictate my life and I can’t bear the pain of staying away.”
Running his hand down her back, Grayson pulls her up ever so slightly so he could easily kiss her lips if she allowed him to. He wanted to be able to see every change in her eyes, every line of her face.
“I love you”, he stops her from speaking, finding her apologies unnecessary. She had enough of heartbreak for both of them when he disappeared.
“Don’t let me run again”, her voice breaks and Grayson notices the tears pricking at her eyes, “I know I asked you to let me go, but don’t. I got mad and insecure, but I love you. So don’t ever let me leave again.”
Brushing the tip of his nose against hers, Grayson’s lips curl at the corners, “Never.”
“Do you want to tell me how awesome the other me was?” She raises her eyebrows expectantly as Gray gives her a slight shake of his head.
“Well, you were crushing on some dick Dougie”, Grayson starts and her eyebrows furrow in confusion before her mouth opens wide.
“You mean Danny?!”
The excited tone instantly put a frown on Grayson’s face, making Ella chuckle.
“He was my first ever boyfriend back home!” She continues, further aggravating Grayson who could no longer hold back. He told himself he’d be more patient, but it’s a work in progress and he needed her to stop talking, so he did the most natural thing he could think of.
He kissed her.
Before she could withdraw, his arms were around her. He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back.
It’s like opening up your soul to tasting, feeling and seeing every color of the rainbow in their own sensual way. For Ella it felt almost like catching Grayson’s smile in a bottle, its softness, its sweetness, the slight arrogance that provoked a reaction of her insatiable need for his touch. Kissing Grayson felt just like breathing oxygen she needs to keep her heart beating. His kisses warm the soul. His kisses are right. He is right; for her, with her, he’s the part of her she can’t imagine her future without.
“Never mention Doyle when you’re in my arms”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “Don’t mention Dairy, ever again”, Grayson adds while she giggles, amused by his absolute refusal to say the name right. “That would have been an awful tattoo”, he adds as she chuckles.
“If this is my punishment, I might be inclined to break that rule”, she winks, “Often”.
For a moment, Grayson stopped and stared. She didn’t seem shy or less brave than the other Ella at all. She felt brazen, unapologetically her and Grayson realized for once and all, his Ella, as complicated as she may be, is absolute perfection.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m a man of my words, isn’t it?” Grayson’s smirk is gone once his lips claim Ella’s again and she releases a satisfied moan in response. It was the kind of kiss that was so intoxicating your brain couldn’t handle thinking about anything else.
“I love you”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “I love you”, he repeats. “I love you, I love you, I love you”, he peppers her face and neck with feather light kisses, repeating his ‘I love you’ over and over like a prayer that was finally answered.
No matter what was in store for them, Grayson believed they would find their way back to each other. After all, they’re meant to be and for once, he didn’t doubt that saying. 
People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end.
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google1000 · 2 years
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Ethan Dolan Masterlist
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Oldest~ Top of Section
Youngest~ Bottom Of Section
⭐️-Smut❤️-Fluff 💔-Angst 🚫-None 💙-Incorrect Quote
🪢- Polyamorous 🍷-Alcohol🩸-Blood ☠️-Death 🤰-Pregnancy
🚺- Female Character 🚹- Male Character ⚧- Gender Neutral Character
Ethan Dolan
A Bad Day Isn’t A Bad Life by DolanDolll⭐️🚺
Timid Touching by VinylHazza⭐️🚺
Bible Study by Grayson-Dolans-Dangly-Earring⭐️🚺
Incorrect Quote
P
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darlindolan · 3 years
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4: “you said you weren’t hurt, why would you lie?”
“Babyyy, please will you teach me how to skate?” You said to Gray, for the 5th time. “Babe,” he said while laughing “I don’t want you to get hurt” “I promise I won’t, and if I do you’ll be there to kiss me better” you answered, cheerfully. “Fine” he said unwillingly.
After he made you put way more protection on then you needed to, it was finally time for him to teach you how to skate. He was right next to you while you tried to steady yourself on the board. You weren’t gonna lie, you were starting to feel a little bit nervous but you wouldn’t let him know that.
After a few tries with him holding on to you, you were finally ready to have a go yourself. It took a few minutes to get Gray to agree but he did. You were doing well at first, that was until the board hit a stone and you went flying. Gray came running as fast as he could and knelt down beside you. “Hey, hey are you ok are you hurt” he asked, frantically searching you fo any cuts or marks. “Hey, Gray calm down I’m fine, completely fine, see” you said as you stood up and started walking to show him you were ok. “Hm ok let’s get you inside though, you nearly gave me a heart attack” he said while chuckling to himself.
When you got back inside, you went straight to the bathroom to ‘go to the toilet’. Once you got there, you lifted your top up to see what you had suspected, a big scrape on your left side that looked like it was starting to bruise. You touched it, which was definitely the wrong thing to do. You hissed as you put the top back down and went to your and Grays shared bedroom to change.
You were pulling the top off when gray appeared, you hadn’t noticed him at first, but you certainly did when you heard him, “babe, what the fuck is that on your side?!”. “Shit” you said, trying your best to cover it up. “You said you weren’t hurt, why would you lie?” He said, looking more hurt then annoyed. “I didn’t want to worry you” you whispered, with your head ducked down. “Of course I’m gonna be worried, babe, but you have to tell me if you hurt yourself so I can help you!” He said raising his voice a bit due to him being so concerned. “I know, but the only reason you agreed to teach me was because I told you I wouldn’t get hurt, I felt like I let you down in a way.” You said, disappointed in yourself.
“Oh baby, you could never let me down, especially when your hurt” he said before walking over to you and pulling you in for a hug. “I love you” you said while sniffling. “I love you too, babe, just promise me you’ll tell me these things” “I promise.”
Hey guys!! I tried to make this angst but it ended up being fluffy, I definitely need to work on my angst. But none the less, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave requests! <3
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strangerquinns · 3 years
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Paradise
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g.d x f!reader | ⚠️: 18+ w/ unprotected sex, violence, fluff & angst ft. posessive Grayson (slightly au) | trigger: sexual harassment | Masterlist
when being with the one feels like paradise, but how long can that truly last?
But I swear I've never loved you more. When you right here, I come alive - Paradise by Bazzi
You felt his soft touch against your stomach, waking you slightly, and causing you to nuzzle into his chest more. Grayson Dolan smelled like sunscreen, sandalwood with a hint of something else warm.
Grayson Dolan smelled like home.
His arms tightened around you more and soon you felt his lips against your temple. Then your forehead. A small smile curved up the corners of your lips. He felt it, causing a deep chuckle to come from his chest.
Grayson Dolan sounded like home.
“I know you’re awake, baby girl,” Grayson spoke with his voice a little deeper than usual. Making you whimper softly and clench between your legs. Something about his morning voice did something to you. “Come on I wanna see your face, and it’s currently buried in my chest”
“You’re warm and smell like sunshine, can you blame me?” You spoke, voice muffled against his neck as you moved up. You gently placed soft kisses along his neck up along his jaw, before coming eye to eye with him, “Hi.”
“Hi.” He smiled, a twinkle in his eye that only showed when he was truly happy. “You sleep ok?”
Grayson reached to caress a piece of hair from your face. You nodded your head, too lost for a moment. There was something about Grayson Dolan that seemed to hypnotize you for a moment. Make you think; “Is he really mine?”
From behind him, you were able to see the sunshine, the soothing sound of the waves hitting against the beach. From down the hallways, the two of you could hear Ethan and Kristina moving about the kitchen. The familiar sounds of their voices along with the sound of cabinets closing. But neither of you wanted to move. You all came to Hawaii to get away. The boys needed breaks from work, and you needed to distress from your final semester of school.
“We should get up and go join them for breakfast.”
“Why would we do that? Why not stay right here in each other’s arms? Listening to the island.” You spoke softly.
Grayson hummed before moving you both, shifting till you were beneath him and he was between your legs. You felt the full weight of him between your legs, causing you to grind up into him. A deep, almost animalistic, growl came from him as your bare pussy pressed against him. His cock twitched and you smirked at the nearly instant reaction.
“You not get enough last night?” Grayson spoke, shifting his body down so his face was over your chest, your pussy now pressed against his stomach. He could feel your wet against his skin already.
You only responded with another hum as his lips pressed to the center of your chest, right between your breasts. 
You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the soft curls against your fingers, and closed your eyes. A soft sigh passed your lips as his tongue moved to press against your skin. Your hips moved up towards him for more friction feeling yourself becomes wetter and needier for him. Grayson palmed one of your tits, his thumb slowly rubbing against the hardened nipple, as he wrapped his other hand around your other. 
"Gray," You moaned and tightened your hold on his hair. 
Grayson moaned and nipped lightly at your nipple, eliciting a small gasp from you, and opening your eyes to look down towards him. A small mischievous glint was in his eyes as you stared down towards him. You moved your hand down towards the back of his head and pulled him up towards you. Capturing Grayson's lips in a deep and intense kiss, your other hand moving down his chest slowly before wrapping a hand around his cock.
He was already hard for you with precum dripping down his thick shaft. You loved the weight of him in your hand, gently moving it up and down, as he moaned against your lips. He won dominance in the kiss with his tongue dancing against yours, with his hips moving against your hand. 
"B-baby girl," Grayson choked on his words as you sucked and nipped at his neck, while he slowly fucked your hand. "God damn."
You moved away from his neck before laying back against the pillows, opening your legs wide for him as the hand that was once around his cock, moved down to tease your clit. Grayson's eyes seemed to darken as he looked down and watched you touch yourself. Your fingers now glistening with not only his precum but with your juices. His eyes were zeroed in on your pussy. Grayson was debating within his mind if he wanted to make you cum with his mouth. Or his cock.
His pulsating cock needed to be inside of you. 
Grayson moved your hand away and pulled you down towards him more before placing your leg over his shoulder. You were opened wide for him.
Gonna feel him in my fucking guts, you thought to yourself.
You nearly screamed his name as he thrust deep inside of you, gripping your thighs, as he fucked into you. Grayson placed a hand over your mouth to muffle your noises. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you gripped the white sheets beneath you. The bed rocked into the wall causing a rhythmic banging noise that let not only Ethan and Kristina know what was going on, but anyone that walked past the house. 
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Grayson cursed, dragging out the last one as you tightened around him more. He didn't know what to look at more, your bouncing tits or the faces you were making as he moved his hand away from your mouth. "God you feel so good, baby."
"Make me cum...oh god, Grayson...god!" Your chest arched up towards him as a wanton moan sounded from you. He could hear the wet noises that you two were creating. Making it more erotic and turning him on even more. You were dripping down his balls, your pussy pulling him in deeper and deeper with each thrust.
Grayson shoved his fingers into your mouth to silence you again as you become too loud. He was aching for you too much to last long and he knew that you weren't going to either. You were shaking beneath him and gripped around him tight. Watching you fall apart beneath him was what sent Grayson over. He called out your name as he slowly ground his hips against you, spilling deep inside of you.
Grayson moved the leg from his shoulder before pressing his body against you more. Your legs locked around his waist and pulled him in deeper, loving the feeling of him deep inside of you. The two of you laid together for a moment before Grayson was the first to move. You whimpered when you felt him pull out. He sat back on his knees for a moment and watched as he slowly dripped out of you. Grayson cursed to himself and moved away from you before he decided that neither of you would leave that bed today.
But instead, he picked you up from the bed and towards the shower to wash up. The shower just elicited another round from you both causing it to be longer. It was a while before either of you emerged from the bedroom and headed towards the main part of the house. Ethan and Kristina were nowhere to be seen. Their empty coffee mugs inside the sink, along with a note on the counter. 
Warn us next time, headed to the beach - E x.
You groaned internally as the slight embarrassment of being heard hit you. It wasn't like you'd never unintentionally heard Ethan and Kris together, but it still didn't mean it wasn't a little embarrassing. 
The two of you made breakfast together before slipping into your bathing suits. Grayson couldn't help himself as he moved up behind you at the bathroom sink, kissing along your neck as his hand softly caressed your ass. 
"We're not gonna make it out of this fucking house if you keep wearin' these suits." He nipped at your ear. 
"Maybe they'll help you with your self-control." You laughed, swatting his hand away, before moving towards your suitcase to grab your coverup. It was a white halter dress that stopped right at the top of your thighs.
Grayson just chuckled but leaned against the doorway as he watched you dress. When you turned around towards him, you saw the soft look in his eyes. One dimple showing from the small smile on his lips. 
"What?"
"Nothing just...I love you so much."
"Yeah?" You walked towards him and felt the butterflies in your stomach. "Good. Cause I swear I never loved you more than I do right now."
Grayson felt his chest spread with warmth as you rose on your toes and wrap your arms around his neck. His hands rested on your hips before bending down and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. 
After a day in the sun, the rest of the group met up at the Dolan's house for the last night in Hawaii party. It Ethan, Kris, Ryan, Adele and others that joined them on the trip that were coming tonight for the party.  You slipped on your favorite skirt and cropped t-shirt, just wanting to have a low-key night with friends. When you walked into the kitchen Kristina handed you a mixed drink that you thanked her for, before taking a sip. It was strong and it was fruity. 
It didn't take long for the party to become crazy. People were laughing, drinking, and dancing. Even if it wasn't a large group, it somehow sounded like it, with the voices and music mixing. You'd lost Grayson mid through the party, him venturing off with Ryan, Mando, and Ethan - leaving you with Kristina and Adele. 
You stood from your spot on the balcony and walked, more like stumbled, back towards the kitchen for another drink. You weren't a lightweight, but a day in the sun and eating nothing but fruit and snacks weren't working well for your system.
You grabbed another cup of the mixed cocktail Kristina made, before trying to make it back to the girls. But when you turned around to leave towards the hallway, a figure was standing in the small doorway. 
Tyler was a new friend to Grayson and Ethan, who was also invited in on the trip. He was sharing another house with Ryan, Mando, and one other guy whose name you couldn't really remember. But the way his eyes slowly scanned up your body was enough to make the drinks you had wanna come back up. 
"H-Hey," You cringed at how slurred your words sounded to you. "Uh...where's Gray?"
"Outback with the boys. Was told to come and get some cups for pong."
Your eyes darted towards the red solo cups that were stacked by the fridge on the counter. He slowly walked into the room not moving his eyes from you. Your heart began to beat against your chest. Your gut was telling you to leave, but it was like your feet were planted where you stood. 
"Should get back out to 'em," You slowly started to walk towards the door the moment he was out of the way. 
But it was like he knew what you were doing, his hands stretching out in front of you and boxing you back in. You jumped back from his touch and shrunk back. Your eyes darted down to his hand that was on the counter before glaring up towards him.
"I'd like to leave,"
Tyler shook his head, stepping towards you "Why don't we stay and get to know each other, huh?"
"No," You flinched when his finger slowly ran along your arm, causing goosebumps to erupt along your skin. "Don't touch me,"
"Baby, know you don't mind. Hear how you are with Grayson." He stepped closer, his hot breath fanning out across your face. "He wouldn't mind sharing."
You let out a scream when his hand touched your thigh, using all the strength that you could to push him away. 
Grayson felt that something was wrong. He didn't know what, but something in the back of his head told him to go into the house. He looked around and saw that Tyler hadn't shown back with the cups. Deep down he didn't like the guy but agreed to let him come along, when Ryan asked. But something about the kid made his skin crawl. When Grayson walked through the threshold of the house, he heard a scream. Your scream. 
He didn't even second guess it as he rushed through the house and towards the kitchen. When he walked through the door, Grayson saw a scene that made him want to throw up. Tyler had you boxed in the corner part of the counter, his hand along your thigh with his face down by yours. You were trying to push him away, but the guy was near twice your size.
"Dude what the fuck!" 
Grayson screamed as the pure rage took over his body. He reached forward and yanked Tyler away from you, sending him across the kitchen. His back smacked against the fridge causing it to shake slightly. Grayson stepped towards him before fisting his shirt and slamming his back against the wall, his fist connecting with his nose. 
"What the fuck are you doing!" Grayson screamed, "Don't you fucking touch her!"
Ethan was running towards the house the moment his brother's booming voice ripped through the tranquil night. Everything around you was chaos and all you could do was stand there in shock, gripping the counter for support. Ethan moved to tear Grayson off Tyler, Ryan stepping in to assist.
"You got 'em. You got 'em" Ethan screamed into Grayson's face, trying to calm his brother down. He'd never seen this level of rage in his little brother. Ethan wasn't gonna lie, it scared him.
The girls rushed down at the sound of the noise. Kristina looked around and saw all the boys together, with you shaking in the kitchen with tears streaming down your face. She rushed towards you and pulled away from the noise and chaos, wrapping her arm around you protectively. Ethan saw you slip away with his girl, knowing that you were now away and safe. Tyler was knocked unconscious on the hallway floor with a blood all over his face, nose broken from the crooked angle. 
Grayson's breath was hard and labored as Ethan pushed him towards the living room. 
"Calm down, bro. What happened."
"I came in...and I saw...fuck! fuck!" Grayson screamed, fisting his hair tightly. "He was fucking touching her, bro. She was fighting him off."
Ethan quickly realized what Grayson was saying. He felt sick. He felt violently sick. 
"Where is she?" Grayson spoke, his eyes looking around wildly. 
"Kris is with her, I saw them duck back upstairs."
"I need to see her,"
"No." Ethan pushed on his chest, "Calm down and go see her, maybe wash the blood from your hand before you scare her even more."
As Grayson tried to calm himself, you were upstairs doing the same. It was like the initial shock wore off as Kristina took you to your room. The moment you sat on the bed, you dropped your face into your hands and cried. She knelt in front of you and wrapped you in a hug. She didn't pressure you to speak. She just holds you, being the support that you needed. 
"You're ok. You're safe." Kristina spoke softly, voice calming you and bringing you back and away from your thoughts. 
You don't know how long you sat there with her. But enough for the tears to dry and for you to sober up. At one point she helped you wipe away the smudged and streaked make-up from your face, along with switching into one of Gray's shorts and shirt, before leaving. You needed the smell of him around you. It made you feel safe and erased the memory of Tyler's breath. 
Grayson walked up the stairs after cleaning himself up and trying to make the kitchen look as normal as possible. Also, clean the blood from the wall. He didn't want any memory of tonight left behind. When he stepped into the room, Grayson stopped right in the doorway. You were in the bed bundled in his clothes. His heart ached for you. 
You felt eyes looking towards you and slowly opened your eyes and saw him.
Grayson walked into the room and closed the door behind him. He didn't speak, just stripped down to his shorts, before moving towards the bed.
"Can I get in with you."
You didn't speak, just looked towards him and nodded your head. He slowly sunk onto the bed beside you and hesitantly wrapped his arms around you. You instantly moved to lay against his side. Your arms moved across his chest to hold him close. Grayson relaxed into you more, before kissing the top of your head. 
"I'm so sorry baby," Grayson spoke after a long pause of silence. 
"It's not your fault," Your voice cracked slightly from the hoarseness of your throat from crying. 
"It doesn't matter...should've protected you." You knew what he was doing, beating himself up from something he couldn't possibly have stopped. 
"You're here now." You pulled back and looked towards him, 
"He didn't..." The question was left hanging in the air. You quickly shook your head. 
"C-Can we not talk about it...not now at least."
"Of course. I'm sorry."
You moved back to rest your head on his chest before closing your eyes. Enjoying the feeling of his hand moving against your back slowly. You were wrapped in his scent and felt safe in his arms. The fear you had before was still there under the surface, but with Grayson, he kept it away. 
"I love you," You spoke softly. 
"I love you,"
Outside you could hear the soft sound of the waves on the beach, bringing the memory of this morning. Reminding you of the paradise that you had hours before. 
eh I’m nervous about this one. please let me know your thoughts? let me know if you ever wanna be added to the permanent tag list for the Dolans 
~ Ever 💜
@lovingdolans
@peachyafshawn
@guiltydols
@millennial-teenybopper
@loveeharry
@bubsdolan​
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