#great startup ideas

[headspace-hotel]

There are so many tech startups with a Great Idea for indoor vertical farming and they keep crashing and burning and yet people keep investing in indoor vertical farming because it is "The next big thing" according to some ass backwards whacko conception of the universe where industrial monoculture agriculture is already the most efficient and sustainable possible use of land that could ever exist and its not even worth investigating foolish things like "Any of the agriculture systems practiced on the planet except modern industrial monoculture" or "Thousands of edible plant species that exist and could be used as crops"

the idea that will solve world hunger and preserve ecosystems, supposedly, is simply to stack plants in layers and layers on top of one another in these shelf type structures in a giant warehouse, shining electrical lights on them so they can grow.

Of course it is a glaring problem that it takes massive amounts of fossil fuels to run the electricity, basically replacing solar power used in normal agriculture (the sun) with fossil fuels, which is the opposite of what we need to be doing.

So they say, "Worry not! We can generate the electricity with solar farms!" at which point I perhaps need to study more deeply to comprehend the business model of building an array of solar panels to provide energy for a solar-powered facility in order to grow the already solar-powered plants (creatures which already have solar panels on them from birth)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Kickstarting “The Bezzle” audiobook, sequel to Red Team Blues

I'm heading to Berlin! On January 29, I'll be delivering Transmediale's Marshall McLuhan Lecture, and on January 30, I'll be at Otherland Books (tickets are limited! They'll have exclusive early access to the English edition of The Bezzle and the German edition of Red Team Blues!).

I'm kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to last year's Red Team Blues, featuring Marty Hench, a hard-charging, two-fisted forensic accountant who spent 40 years in Silicon Valley, busting every finance scam hatched by tech bros' feverish imaginations:

http://thebezzle.org

Marty Hench is a great character to write. His career in high-tech scambusting starts in the early 1980s with the first PCs and stretches all the way to the cryptocurrency era, the most target-rich environment for scamhunting tech has ever seen. Hench is the Zelig of tech scams, and I'm having so much fun using him to probe the seamy underbelly of the tech economy.

Enter The Bezzle, which will be published by Tor Books and Head of Zeus on Feb 20: this adventure finds Marty in the company of Scott Warms, one of the many bright technologists whose great startup was bought and destroyed by Yahoo! (yes, they really used that asinine exclamation mark). Scott is shackled to the Punctuation Factory by golden handcuffs, and he's determined to get fired without cause, so he can collect his shares and move onto the next thing.

That's how Scott and Marty find themselves on Catalina island, the redoubt of the Wrigley family, where bison roam the hills, yachts bob in the habor and fast food is banned. Scott invites Marty on a series of luxury vacations on Catalina, which end abruptly when they discover – and implode – a hamburger-related Ponzi scheme run by a real-estate millionaire who is destroying the personal finances of the Island's working-class townies out of sheer sadism.

Scott's victory is bittersweet: sure, he blew up the Ponzi scheme, but he's also made powerful enemies – the kinds of enemies who can pull strings with the notoriously corrupt LA County Sheriff's Deputies who are the only law on Catalina, and after taking a pair of felony plea deals, Scott gets the message and never visits Catalina Island again.

That could have been the end of it, but California's three-strikes law – since rescinded – means that when Scott picks up one more felony conviction for some drugs discovered during a traffic stop, he's facing life in prison.

That's where The Bezzle really gets into gear.

At its core, The Bezzle is a novel about the "shitty technology adoption curve": the idea that our worst technological schemes are sanded smooth on the bodies of prisoners, mental patients, kids and refugees before they work their way up the privilege gradient and are inflicted on all of us:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

America's prisons are vicious, brutal places, and technology has only made them worse. When Scott's prison swaps out in-person visits, the prison library, and phone calls for a "free" tablet that offers all these services as janky apps that cost ten times more than they would on the outside, the cruelty finds a business model.

Working inside and outside the prison Marty Hench and Scott Warms figure out the full nature of the scam that the captive audience of prisoners are involuntary beta-testers for, and they discover a sprawling web of real-estate fraud, tech scams, and offshore finance that is extracting fortunes from the hides of America's prisoners and their families. The criminals who run that kind of enterprise aren't shy about fighting for what they've got, and they're more than happy to cut some of LA County's notorious deputy gangs in for a cut in exchange for providing some kinetic support for the project.

The Bezzle is exactly the kind of book I was hoping I'd get to write when I kicked off the Hench series – one that decodes the scam economy, from music royalties to prison videoconferencing, real estate investment trusts to Big Four accounting firm bogus audits. It's both a fast-moving, two-fisted crime novel and a masterclass on how the rich and powerful get away with both literal and figurative murder.

It's getting a big push from both my publishers and I'll be touring western Canada and the US with it. The early reviews are spectacular. But despite all of this, I had to make my own audiobook for it, which I'm pre-selling on Kickstarter:

http://thebezzle.org

Why? Because Audible – Amazon's monopoly gatekeeper to the audiobook world, with more than 90% of the market – refuses to carry my work.

Audible uses Digital Rights Management to lock every audiobook they sell to their platform. Legally, only an Audible-authorized app can decrypt and play the audiobooks they sell you. Distributing a tool that removes Audible DRM is a felony under Section 1201 of the 1998 DMCA.

That means that if you break up with Audible – delete your Audible apps – you will lose your entire audiobook library. And the fact that you're Audible's hostage makes the writers you love into their hostages, too. Writers understand that if they leave the Audible platform, their audience will have to choose between following them, or losing all their audiobooks.

That's how Audible gets away with abusing its performers and writers, up to and including the $100m Audiblegate wage-theft scandal:

https://www.audiblegate.com/

Audible can steal $100m from its writers…and the writers still continue to sell on the platform, because leaving will cost them their audience.

This is canonical enshittification: lock in users, then screw suppliers. Lots of companies abuse DRM to do this, but none can hold a candle to Amazon, who understand that the DMCA is a copyright law that protects corporations at the expense of creators.

Under DMCA 1201 commercial distribution of a "circumvention device" carries a five-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine. That means that if I write a book, pay to have it recorded, and then sell it to you through Audible, I am criminally prohibited from giving you the tool to take it from Audible to another platform. Even though I hold the copyright to that work, I would face a harsher sentence than you would if you simply pirated the audiobook from some darknet site. Not only that: if you shoplifted the audiobook in CD form, you'd get a lighter sentence than I, the copyright holder, would receive for giving you a tool to unlock it from Amazon's platform! Hell, if you hijacked the truck that delivered the CD, you'd get off lighter than I would. This is a scam straight out of a Marty Hench novel.

This is batshit. I won't allow it. My books are licensed on the condition that they must not be sold with DRM. Which means that Audible won't sell my books, which means that my publishers are thoroughly disinterested in paying thousands of dollars to produce audiobooks of my titles. A book that isn't sold in the one store than accounts for 90% of all sales is unlikely to do well.

That's where you come in. Since 2020, I've used Kickstarter to pre-sell five of my audiobooks (I wrote nine books during lockdown!). All told, I've raised over $750,000 (gross! but still!) on these crowdfunders. More than 20,000 backers have pitched in! The last two of these books – The Internet Con and The Lost Cause – were national bestsellers.

This isn't just a way for me to pay off a lot of bills and put away something for retirement – it's proof that readers care about supporting writers and don't want to be locked in by a giant monopolist that depends on its drivers pissing in bottles to make quota.

It's a powerful message about the desire for something better than Amazon. It's part of the current that is driving the FTC to haul Amazon into court for being a monopolist, and also part of the inspiration for other authors to try treating Amazon as damage and routing around it, with spectacular results:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dragonsteel/surprise-four-secret-novels-by-brandon-sanderson

And I'm doing it again. Last December, I went into Skyboat Media's studios where Gabrielle De Cuir directed @wilwheaton, who reprised his role as Marty Hench for the audiobook of The Bezzle. It came out amazing:

https://archive.org/details/bezzle-sample

Now I'm pre-selling this audiobook, as well as the ebook and hardcover for The Bezzle. I'm also offering bundles with the ebook and audiobook for Red Team Blues (naturally these are all DRM-free). You can get your books signed and personalized and shipped anywhere in the world, courtesy of Book Soup, and I've partnered with Libro.fm to deliver DRM-free audiobooks with an app for people who don't want to mess around with sideloading.

I've also got some spendy options for high rollers. There's three chances to name a character in the next Hench novel (Picks and Shovels, Feb 2025). There's also five chances to commission a Hench short story about your favorite tech scam, and get credited when the story is published.

The Kickstarter runs for the next three weeks, which should give me time to get the hardcopy books signed and shipped to arrive around the on-sale date. What's more, I've finally worked out all the post-Brexit kinks with shipping my UK publisher's books to EU backers. I'm working with Otherland Books to fulfill those EU orders, and it looks like I'm going to be able to sign a giant stack of those when I'm in Berlin later this month to give the annual Marshall McLuhan lecture at the Canadian embassy:

https://transmediale.de/en/2024/event/mcluhan-2024

Red Team Blues and its sequels are some of the most fun – and informative – work I've done in my quarter-century career. I love how they blend technical explanations of the scam economy with high-intensity technothrillers. That's the the same mix as my bestselling YA series Little Brother series – but these are firmly adult novels.

The Bezzle came out great. I hope you'll give it a try – and that you'll come out to see me in late February when I hit the road with the book! Here's that Kickstarter link again:

http://thebezzle.org

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/10/the-bezzle/#marty-hench

#pluralistic #kickstarter #audible #the bezzle #bezzles #prison tech #disciplinary technology #crowdfunding #wilw #wil wheaton #audiobooks #publishing #science fiction #marty hench #martin hench #red team blues #shitty technology adoption curve #reits

[permanentswaps]

Virtually Limitless

For as long as he could remember, Dan had struggled with dieting and exercise. This year, he finally decided to make a change and go all in on fitness. That was how he met Cole, a hunky 26-year-old trainer at the local gym. After training with Cole for a few months, he still wasn’t making much progress. But that was ok, he was happy to crush over Cole and to discuss their mutual love of video games.

Dan loved video games so much, that he had actually made a career out of them. Dan's workplace, WeTech, was all cutting-edge virtual reality startup. One day, without his bosses knowing, Dan got his hands on a yet-to-be-released prototype and a game titled "Dragon Slayers." Naturally, he asked Cole if he wanted to try it out.

"So, how does this work?" Cole asked, a mix of excitement and curiosity in his eyes.

Dan, grinning with anticipation, replied. "We pick our characters, put on the headsets, and say 'Start' followed by our player number. When we’re done, we just say 'Exit' and our player number again."

"Sounds pretty straightforward," Cole remarked, a playful smile on his face.

"Ready to go?" Dan asked, his enthusiasm infectious.

"Let's do it," Cole replied, the room buzzing with a shared sense of excitement. And with that, they plunged into the virtual world of "Dragon Slayers."

“Start Player 1,” said Dan.

“Start Player 2,” said Cole.

The room filled with the soft hum of tech and the glow of screens as they launched themselves into the digital adventure.

Once inside, Cole marveled at the virtual landscape of impressive mountains and valleys. Meanwhile Dan found himself enamored by another “landscape,” the topography of his newfound, virtual washboard abs.

"So, this is what it's like to be in such great shape," Dan mused, his virtual avatar flexing his digital muscles.

Spotting a beacon in the distance, Cole paid no attention to his comment. "Look, there's a beacon; we have to go this way!" he exclaimed, pointing towards the glowing light on the horizon.

Their journey reached a climax when they faced-off against a formidable dragon. After intensely battling for what felt like hours, the two sat down for a debrief.

Dan, catching his virtual breath, couldn't help but muse aloud, "That was incredible! Imagine having such a youthful and strong body all the time."

Cole, grinning mischievously, replied, "Maybe you could know," and without further explanation, initiated the process. "Exit Player 1," he declared, his voice echoing in the virtual realm, and his consciousness was abruptly pulled from the game.

Dan, still processing, hesitated for a moment. That was his player number. Then, with a hint of curiosity mixed with uncertainty, he muttered, "Exit Player 1." An error message flickered in the air in front of him..

Dan said with uncertainty, "Exit Player 2." In that instant, the virtual world around him warped, and he felt a sudden shift. Taking off his headset, he found himself looking at his own body, which had a playful smirk plastered across its face.

"This is so freaky; I didn't know if that would work," Cole confessed.

Dan, distractedly running his fingers over his new biceps through the fabric of his shirt, said half-heartedly, “We …. We have to switch back.”

"Hey, what’s the rush?" Cole asked. "Let’s stay like this for a bit. I can help get your body back on track with its diet, and in return, you might pick up some muscle memory from my training expertise."

Dan, still adjusting to the surreal experience of being in Cole's body, raised an eyebrow. "You really think that's a good idea?"

Cole chuckled, a twinkle of excitement in his eyes. "Think about it, Dan. You'll get firsthand experience of what it's like to live in a body like this, and I'll ensure your body doesn't go on a fast-food frenzy while you're in mine. It's a win-win!"

Dan, intrigued by the proposition, finally grinned. "Alright, let's give it a shot. But just for a few weeks, okay?"

Cole laughed, clapping Dan on the shoulder, or rather, where his shoulder used to be in his own body. "Deal, buddy! This is going to be epic!"

---

Over the ensuing weeks, Dan wholeheartedly embraced his new life as Cole. The gym transformed into a second home.

One night, he found himself cheering on a client during a challenging workout.

Dan grinned, offering encouragement, "Come on George, you've got this! Remember, pain is just weakness leaving the body!"

The client, panting but motivated, nodded appreciatively. "You're on fire today, Cole! What's gotten into you?"

Dan laughed, a blend of his own infectious enthusiasm and newfound charisma. "Just trying out some new tricks. Gotta keep things exciting, you know?"

"Haha, I getcha.” George replied, wiping his sweat with a towel. “Oh by the way, I’m hitting the bars later with some friends. Wanna come along?" he asked.

Dan hesitated for a brief moment. In his old body, he would have never been cool enough for a night out like this. However, with newfound confidence and the thrill of embodying Cole's persona, he grinned and replied, "That sounds awesome, dude. I'll be there."

Later, at the local bars, Dan found himself reveling in the attention he was receiving from both guys and girls. Feeling the gaze of a guy from across the bar, Dan playfully flexed his biceps, a cheeky grin playing on his lips. The guy, drawn in by the confident display, couldn't resist approaching.

"Hey there, looking good," the guy said, initiating a playful flirtation.

“Not so bad yourself,” Dan replied. “What’s your name.”

“Bryan,” he replied with a smirk.

Before Dan knew it, he was back in Cole’s apartment hungrily making out with the twunk in his bed. As Dan ripped off his shirt, Bryan’s eyes grew wide looking at his muscles. Dan raised his arm and flexed his bicep at Bryan again before grabbing behind his head and holding Bryan’s face against his armpit.

Slowly, Dan reached down to unbutton his pants and slide down his briefs. Bryan quickly followed suit before straddling Dan’s waist. As Bryan shoved his face back into Dan’s pecks, Dan began to finger Bryan’s hole and cover his dick with lube. He thrust his hips upwards, slowly at first, but then picking up the pace.

As he pounded his hole, Bryan whispered “ugh I love your muscles. Please flex for me, sir.” Overcome with lust, Dan couldn’t help but flex as bear hugged Bryan and coated the inside of his hole. He’d have to do that again, he thought.

---

After enjoying a month in one another’s bodies, Cole and Dan returned to the virtual world for another quest. Following another climatic encounter, this time with a minotaur, the pair prepared themselves to exit the game.

Cole, eager to resume his life in his original body, confidently uttered the command, "Exit Player 2." However, the response was not as anticipated.

An eerie silence followed before an unmistakable voice echoed through the virtual space, delivering a message that froze the avatars in their tracks, "You can only go back to your original body."

Cole's avatar stood motionless, disbelief etched across its virtual face. "What? That can't be right," he exclaimed, trying the command again, "Exit Player 2!"

Dan, stifling a smirk, puts on a face of fake bewilderment. "Weird, I wonder why its not working," Dan said, his digital brows furrowed.

Panic seeped into Cole's voice as he desperately sought a solution. "We need to figure this out. I can't stay in your body forever," he muttered, his frustration palpable.

“Hmmm.” Dan said. “Exit Player 2.” The game ripping him back to reality.

---

Driven by desperation, Cole pleaded with WeTech to rectify the glitch that confined him to Dan's body. Despite his sincere appeals, the company's response was far from sympathetic, and in a cruel twist of fate, Cole found himself facing accusations of alleged theft of company equipment, resulting in his termination. The once-thriving fitness trainer now grappled with the harsh realities of unemployment and an out-of-shape body.

As Cole navigated the unexpected turns in his life, Dan reveled in the newfound freedom that he had secured. You see, a week before the anticipated swap back, Dan took it upon himself to email his former colleagues at WeTech, disclosing the glitch and urging them to patch it. Unbeknownst to Cole, this intentional act sealed Dan in his new, hunky body permanently.

Now, Dan looked forward to exploring life on his own terms. Particularly intriguing was the prospect of deepening his connection with Bryan. However, even if that path didn't unfold as expected, Dan wasn't concerned. With a body like this, the possibilities were virtually limitless.

[hellenhighwater]

Have you taken any pottery classes or were you entirely self taught? I REALLY want to get into it but classes are quite expensive

I took some sculpting in undergrad, but it was in the context of casting and mold-making, not ceramics. So I'm fairly comfortable with clay as a medium but not so much with clay as an end product--not being able to do armatures and having to think about firing is weird. (If I had the opportunity to do bronze casting again, though, I would, no hesitation.) That puts me in the minority of my current pottery peers, who are largely self-taught or only learned in our studio.

I do pottery now at a co-op studio space, and technically that means that I'm taking classes there--but the classes are more like guided lab time? There's not really assignments or anything, and there's only a couple other people who sculpt, none of whom are in my class. Mostly the class just means that the person in charge demonstrates a technique or two once a week and then lets us do our thing.

Personally I think that shared studio space is the absolute best way to go. You spend less in startup costs (kilns are EXPENSIVE, running kilns is expensive, glaze is expensive) and it plugs you directly in to a group of fellow artists who can help and support you at whatever skill level you're at. Yes, classes are expensive--my class is $250 per season. But for me that includes lab space, 50 lbs of clay per season, almost all of the glaze I use, kiln time, and other people doing all the maintenance and kiln loading/unloading etc. Very much money well spent.

Artist-run shared spaces are often not turning a profit on anything with studio fees, just covering operations costs, so while it's pricey, it generally is just...what it costs to do that hobby. And it is sooooo much easier to be motivated when you're going to what is, basically, Grown-Up Art Club.

But if costs are prohibitive for you to do pottery via classes, and you want to learn to sculpt, then get some polymer clay and see what you can do. It's a different game than actual clay, but form is form, and the medium is secondary to figuring out how to translate an idea into reality.

Polymer clay is relatively affordable and doesn't require nearly the infrastructure of ceramics. If you can't spend the money on classes or a shared studio, then polymer clay is a great way to develop technique and an eye so that when you're in a position to spend the money, you already have the skills to make it worth what you're spending.

#most people who have home pottery studios are either in a position to easily afford that #or are selling their work at a caliber to justify the expenses of making the studio space #which is not what will happen when you are starting out. #pottery is far and away my most expensive hobby and that means #that when it's done #the Minotaur series is going to get sold #probably for as much as I think i can get for it #and probably that means I am going to have to Find A Gallery and Submit Work To Gallery and be #in short #in hell. i have not had to think about doing gallery submissions in so long #and i am dreading it. #anyway if anyone knows a gallery in like. michigan or chicago and can hook me up #i have some sad cows that need homes #i kind of want to keep my sad cow mans forever but also where would i even put them? better to be treasured by someone else #and maybe i will make one extra sad cow. for me.

[flordeamatista]

𝗔𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀

pairing: ceo!silverfox!ari levinson x personal assistant!reader

concept:. One kiss will ignite all this, which will light my darkest fire for your body

word count: 3.6k

warnings: silver fox Ari, bossy boss, business trip, hot tub love time, fireplace love time, p -in- v, a tiny bit of man—ipulation edging, fing- ering, o-ra-l (f receiving), tiny wine body painting, sweet kisses, pu-ssy slap-ping, soft power imbalance, dumb-ification, praise, Sir k-ink, dirty talk, spanking, nickname ──(Princess, Sweetheart)

a/n: @navybrat817 When I was dancing with my other wips, I remember when you dropped this sweet silverfox Ari, leaving me daydreaming for months. I am grateful for you dropping him off so I can write him a beautiful story.

@lookiamtrying @/writing-for-marvel @sunshinebuckybarnes, thank you for letting me rant for months about him and brainstorm ideas.

lovely betas: @lunarbuck and @writing-for-marvel

the cute gif/line divider/moodboard made by me

thank you @jen-with-a-pen for making the silverfox ari image on the second moodboard.

Masterlist

As time passes, each note rests on each string.

Your eyes are captivated by the clouds you pass. One sky, one trip, and countless cloud formations.

The clouds reminded you how far away you were from your real destination, and you could only remember how you got on his plane.

“You wanted to see me, Sir?” you asked as you entered his office. He nodded and motioned for you to take a seat. “I have some important news to share with you,” he said. “We’ve just been awarded a large contract from a new client. There is a crucial business event next week that you must attend with me." Ari keeps typing on his computer without looking at you.

"I can't go," you say.  

Ari stops typing and looks up. "Why not?" he demands.

"I have my holiday, and I will be out of the country for a while."

“That is part of your job. You are expected to attend. You can pack up your things at the end of the day if you are unable to attend this business trip."

You look desperate in his eyes as you say, "My vacation was approved months ago." 

He pauses for a moment, then says, "I'm sorry, but this business trip is mandatory. You will have to postpone your vacation."

“I have given you access to my schedule. Do you mean you didn't read what was coming up? ” he asks in a dead tone. He is trying to point out that he had been clear with his scheduling and that it was your responsibility to be aware of what was coming up and plan accordingly.

As you leave Ari's office, you feel frustrated. You feel your heart sink as you think about all the time and money you’ve already spent preparing. You have been looking forward to this vacation for months, and now it seems like you will have to postpone it indefinitely.

Ari Levinson's name has become so familiar that nobody can escape it. He is a top influencer in the business world and is often a keynote speaker at industry events. His advice and insights are sought after by some of the most successful companies around the world. His reach is unparalleled, and he is an inspiration to many. 

From small startups to large corporations, Ari Levinson has been able to make an impact on nearly every sector. His success story is one that continues to be shared and celebrated as he continues to break boundaries in the business world. It would make many human bodies swoon to gaze into his lustful blue eyes. He is a true testament to the power of ambition and hard work.

Ari is a role model for entrepreneurs and business professionals who are looking to make a difference. His story is an inspiration to many who aspire to greatness. 

Ari Levinson is an icon.

However, you see the rude, uncaring, sexy heartless boss.

He often puts profits before people and shows zero regard for those he works with. His attitude contrasts starkly with his public image.

You and the hot silver fox icon are stuck in Switzerland in a cabin alone. This was supposed to be your vacation since he told you that you had to join him. You were supposed to be at the beach enjoying the sun with a drink in your hand in the Bahamas, not sitting next to a fireplace freezing your behind off.

You turn to him and ask why he dragged you here.

A mischievous glint appears in his eye as he tells you that success in this world comes from working until you can earn money while you sleep. "And I intend to show you just how to do that," he says with a smirk.

In the end, you will never be able to recall the wisps of a dream because he took a weekend full of sun and pleasure from you, and now you are flying into the cold.

He stands tall, proud of his body, gazing out the window, letting the cold winter air fill his lungs. His muscles tense up as he takes a deep breath in, his eyes focused on the horizon. He is ready to take on whatever the night might bring.

His eyes are shut tight as he savors the warmth of the fire. His feet are planted firmly on the ground as his hands reach for the stars. He is in his own world as he basks in the glory of the fire.

He takes another deep breath and turns back to the fireplace, determined to make it up to you. He adds a few more logs to the fire, watching the orange and yellow flames flicker against the night sky. He knows that he would do anything to make you happy, and he hopes that you will forgive him. He smiles, content in the knowledge that at least he tried.

Little did you know, the silver fox had an ulterior motive for bringing you to Switzerland. 

A smile spreads across his face as he watches you relaxing in a hot tub, washing away the stress of your long day. Clearly, he pushed you to the limit and saw your not-so-subtle eye rolls during the flight. He knows he has been too harsh on you, but he wants to ensure you succeed with him.

He lingers around your body tonight as he writes your name next to his.

Taking a deep breath, you let yourself sink deeper into the warm water, feeling your muscles relax with every step. If you can’t be in the sun, this is the closest you can get to feeling warm all over your body. The hot water embraces you with comforting warmth like a hug from a friend. You stay in the hot tub for as long as you can, allowing yourself to forget the stress of the day and simply enjoy the peace. Your boss has always made sure you don’t have a social life beyond being his personal assistant.

You have been trying to find a respite from the stress of the man's presence, and the soothing sound of the bubbling jets and the gentle hum of the motor are just what you need. The sound of his voice, however, is enough to break the illusion and bring you back to reality.

"Mr. Levinson, I don’t start until tomorrow morning. I am enjoying my free time. I need to relax, please," you say softly and finally put down your foot. It‘s time for you to relax after he stole your time off.

"Sweetheart, I apologize if I appeared harsh to you earlier this week, but you need to understand."

“I know! But let me relax tonight," you plead.

You sigh and open your eyes and stare at him with shock.

His desire for your body will reveal where his electric current resides.

When he opens the white robe's string with his strong hands, your heart races. He pulls it open, revealing his exquisite figure. You can't help but gasp in surprise. He suppresses a smile and nods. 

"Would you like some company ?” His sculpted arms flex as he reaches for the wine, and for a moment, you can’t take your eyes off him. He smirks, knowing his effect on you. He pours one glass of wine. You feel electricity between you, and you can tell he feels it too. 

You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. 

You can't help but stare, unable to take your eyes off him. 

You feel an overwhelming urge to touch him, to have him touch you. 

You feel a tingling sensation throughout your body as he stands in front of you, exposing himself to you.

As he dips into the hot tub, you can see the water wavering around him and towards you. He slowly submerges himself in the water, letting out a sigh of relief as his tension and stress slowly melt away. The steam rises slowly around him, enveloping him in a cocoon of warmth and comfort. 

You can't let your attraction to your boss get in the way of your job. But as he leans in closer, you feel yourself getting lost in his piercing gaze. Suddenly, the room feels too small and too hot. You try to focus on anything but him - the painting on the wall, the clock ticking away - but it's no use. Your mind keeps drifting back to him and how badly you want to give in to this forbidden passion.

Your breath comes out nervously as he floats closer to you. 

"Wine?” Taking a sip of his wine, he closes the distance.

"I don't have a glass," you mumble nervously as he invades your space.

You hold your breath as he draws closer, hovering his lips over you. You feel your heart racing as you close your eyes and wait, anticipating a kiss. He pulls away, leaving you disappointed and flustered. 

Then he nods at you to drink from his wine glass and slowly places it near your lips. You hesitantly sip, feeling the wine's warmth spread through your body. 

Drops of wine drip from your lips, and he touches your neck with his finger to stop them from falling further. "Drink more, Princess," he urges. He leans in again, trailing kisses down your neck and sending shivers down your spine. 

You feel nervous and excited as your heart races for a kiss. You take another sip of wine to steady yourself, noticing how his fierce azure eyes darken with desire.

He reaches for the bottle and pours more wine over your body. His hands caress your skin as he moves the bottle along, letting the cool liquid slide down your skin. His lips follow the path of the wine, leaving you trembling in anticipation.

One kiss will ignite all this, which will light my darkest fire for your body

He leans in and captures your lips in a passionate kiss.

The taste of wine on his lips is intoxicating as he takes another sip of you. 

When his lips touch yours, a wave of passion washes over you. You feel the warmth of his breath. You get lost in the moment, the world around you fading away. As the wine lingers on your tongue, it mixes with the taste of him. He deepens the kiss, feeling his arms wrap around you as he pulls you closer. The heat between you is palpable and electric, making every nerve in your body come alive.

He smiles and whispers in your ear "Let's make tonight one to remember" You can feel a shiver down your spine as you nod. 

Your new sweet obsession is his warmth, his smile your lust, his kisses your obsession 

"I know you're a good girl; you're going to do everything I say, aren't you?" he breathes deeply over your exposed neck. You nod, unable to form any words. 

A smile spreads across his face as he lowers his hands under the water and covers your pussy. "Princess, use your words." 

You let out a whimper, "Yes, Sir." He chuckles, pleased with your response, and kisses your neck again. His hands explore further as his grip tightens around you.

“My girl," he murmurs softly. "Do you know how hot you are? How insane you drive me? I can barely contain myself. I want you so badly," he whispers in your ear. 

His lips move down your neck, and his hands travel all over your body, exploring and caressing your curves. 

The words he whispers to you stir something in you as his lust rages inside.

"You have such a slutty little mouth," he murmurs against your ear, holding you still with one hand against your throat and the other under the hot water rubbing against your pussy. "I'm sure you're tight as hell. I'm looking forward to hearing the sounds you make as you stretch around my dick. Princess, I promise to let you feel every inch of my cock"

Against his fingers, you grind, your eyes closing as you're enthralled by the kisses he leaves across your jaw and neck.

You feel him slide his thumb across your skin before sweeping it across your clit. As he moves his finger gently inside you, you can feel the movement of the water.

The sensation of his hands touching you, and watching his face as he does so, is intoxicating. You want more of it. He moves his fingers in circles inside you, sending pleasure waves through your body. But he stops when you explode, teasing you. More of him, whatever he can do, is what you need.

It's more of his filthy words and thick fingers.

Put his passion for you into words through his touch

The air blows on your pussy while he holds onto your thighs. You feel the cool air of the night on your skin as you try to focus on your boss' words. 

It never occurred to you that you would be in this situation. You are lying on the floor next to the fireplace, naked in front of your boss, and the firelight enlightens the room. You were left to find comfort in the heat radiating from the floor, the only warmth you had after your swimsuit was carelessly discarded.

As you try to piece together the events leading up to this moment, your boss leans over and whispers against your pussy. 

He kisses you there, a slow sweep with his tongue from bottom to top, ending with sucking your clit between his lips. You grip the rug cover end in your fists and try not to grind your pussy toward his face. 

There's something about the way his tongue feels so freaking warm and soft. Then there's the way the scruff on his beard feels against it. It's lightly abrasive, and you're overwhelmed by the mix of sensations. You moan as you move closer, wanting to get close as possible. 

"My Princess has a wet pussy, doesn't she? Want me to play with it? Stick my fingers in it? Maybe later, she can welcome my dick?" Using the tip of his finger, he runs it around your pussy, then slaps it and puts you on edge. “You're so sensitive." His voice echoes in the room, satisfied that you're affected by him.

You moan. "Sir, You're teasing me."

He chuckles and leans in closer, his breath tickling your pussy. "I'm not teasing. I'm just trying to make you feel good." 

You hold your breath and scrunch your eyes shut as he exhales and laughs. "You can relax, Princess." He leans closer, his breath tickling your thighs. "It's just me." He pulls away, a smirk on his face. As he bites softly on the sides of your thighs, his gaze drifts to your pussy. "It's going to be a long night," he says softly.

Your hands clench in his salty pepper hair, and you shift your hips, intoxicated by his mouth on you.

I felt a deep sense of pleasure flowing with each kiss of lustful attention.

It is as if your soft sounds, your delicate moans, pull him deeper inside, just like the swell and the throb in his cock.

He couldn't resist the temptation any longer. He had to have you, all of you. The way your body moved and responded to his touch drove him wild with desire. He wanted to explore every inch of your skin, taste every part of you. Your innocence only made him want you more, to be the one who initiates you into a world of pleasure that only he can provide. As he plunges deeper inside you, he feels like he is finally complete.

"Fuck, this slutty pussy is begging for my cock," he says, slapping your thighs while your muscles clench around him, teasing you.

He grabs your hand and guides it over his body - smooth, warm, and inviting. His eyes are locked on yours, and you can feel his desire radiating from him. You can't help but feel a wave of pleasure wash over you.

He smiles despite the tension near his eyes, as though waiting for your response. "Tell me how this feels. How does my cock feel inside of you?" You bite your lip and moan softly. 

He slides his hips back and forth, pushing deeper and deeper into you.

You can feel his hardness pulsing and stretching you, and your pleasure builds with every thrust. "I feel like you're breaking me, but I'm full, hot, and - so alive, Ari. I need more, please." Your voice is barely above a whisper, but it's enough to make him shiver with desire. He leans down to capture her lips again, deepening your connection and losing himself in the sensations you bring out in him.

He slides his hips back and forth, pushing deeper and deeper into you. You moan in pleasure as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. He pulls out and then thrusts back in, pushing you over the edge as you reach your climax.

You moan into his mouth as he begins to thrust, your body arching and trembling with each stroke as he moves faster and faster. His strong hands grip your hips tightly as he drives into you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. He pulls away and whispers in your ear, “Do you know why I hired you, Princess.” 

You look into his eyes, your body still shaking from the pleasure he had brought you. You gasp and whisper back, “No, why did you hire me?”

He smiles and pulls you close, kissing you deeply. “Because you are the most talented, and I always hire the best.”

The smug grin on his face lights up as he kisses your neck and shoulder, his fingers now playing with your nipple. His pace slows as your body begins to revive itself. The tip of his nose trails up your neck and shoulder as he marks your skin. "I knew from the moment I saw you that you were special. Your pussy had to be special to take my cock." His voice is hoarse and filled with desire, and his breathing heavy as he whispers these words into the air, emphasizing the power of his feelings for you.

"You're doing so well for your CEO, Sweetheart," he whispers, his lips against yours. "We have all week to explore every aspect of your performance." 

You run a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair. "Ari - I?" A second orgasm hits you before you can even speak, and your whole body tenses against him. 

You are his, so he owns everything about you 

As your climax approaches, Ari whispers, "You're mine." His hands press against your skin sending shivers down your spine. He leans in and kisses you again. "Mine," he repeats when the first spasm of pleasure makes you shudder and throw your head back. 

All that is audible are his grunts as he takes control of your body with each thrust. 

It was Ari's dirty secret that there was no conference; instead, he will keep himself warm by being inside of you for the entire week.

He knows you won't mind it.

This weekend is a winter storm, and he knows you'll need him to soothe your body and make you moan. This weekend, Ari is ready to wrap himself around you and provide the warmth and comfort you desperately crave; he will be your source of comfort in the midst of the storm. His skin is soft and inviting, begging you to let him into your heart for a moment of pleasure together.

As you hold each other, the world outside freezes away - it's just the two of you in this heat.

Your body ached, curved, and was drenched. It embraced him.

#ceo!silverfox!ari levinson x personal assistant!reader #ceo!silverfox!ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson #ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson x you #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson fandom #silverfox!ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x woc #ceo!ari #ari levinson x female reader #silverfox!ari levinson x personal assistant!reader #ari levinson fic #ari x reader #ari levinson x f!reader #ceo!silverfox!ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x y/n #ari levinson one shot #the red sea diving resort #ari levinson x poc!reader #ari levinson x latina!reader #chris evans characters #chris evans fandom #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #silverfox!ari levinson #silverfox!ari #silverfox!ari levinson x f!reader #ceo!ari levinson x reader #ari levinson smut

[chaoticace2005]

Text lurking in scenes in the first two Hazbin Hotel episodes: (I was bored and when seeing text I need to pause to read so I decided I’d do a service for anyone who needs it)

Spoilers below:

Episode 1:

21:45

News Ticker: SHIT!! THE EXTERMINATION IS HAPPENING IN SIX MONTHS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL! CONFIRMED! LEGIT! FUCK! CFVGBHNJM WE ALL DEAD SOON!! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!

Episode 2:

:56

So I’m thinkin, you and three huge guys are getting it on and it’s really hot and oily and then it’s revealed your on a boat and it’s sinking so you all have to cum as fast as you can. (I hate everything I'm writing but I've already committed so... plus nobody else should have to pause their screens to read this.)

Have you seen temperature play vids? Lol cause there is gonna be ice!!!!!!!

So get that flat honey ass to the studio baby~ as you can see the ideas are F L O W I N G

Haha sooooooo its been thirty seconds……

don’t be like this baby

This isn’t cute Angel. Legit I’m so bored of this little cat and mouse chase.

FR over it!

Fuckibng bitch!! (Yes, I spelt that as said on screen)

Babe.

Angel.

Where the fuck are you??????

3:41

VOXTEK ASSIST (top right)

“Hi Vox”

VoxTek: Can I assist you today?

VOXTECH (under Voxtek Assist)

Vox: You can be just like me!

V- Watch!

Trust Us*

Vox: It's great! I'd buy it!

*With what? That’s none of your business

9:42

News Ticker: SO THE RADIO GUY’S BACK. I DON’T THINK YOU NOTICED. I DIDN’T AT FIRST— I WAS TOO BUSY BEING A MUCH MORE INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT PERSON, BUT FUCK IT, NEWS IS SLOW TODAY I GUESS. I’M TOTALLY NOT WORRIED ABOUT THIS GUY AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU BE. I TOTALLY WRECKED HIS SHIT LAST TIME.

9:49

FUCK ALASTOR

11:02

Vox screen

A PROBLEM HAS BEEN DETECTED AND VOX HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN TO PREVENT DAMAGE TO HIS SYSTEMS.

THIS PROBLEM SEEMS TO BE CAUSES BY THE FOLLOWING FILE: ALASTOR.EXE

VOX.EXE_CRASH_ERROR_EAT_SHIT_ALASTOR

CHECK TO MAKE SURE ALL ((FUCKING 1930S LOOKING ASS)) HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE IS UP TO DATE AND PROPERLY INSTALLED. ASK VOX FOR ANY VOXTEK UPDATES YOU MIGHT NEED.

IF PROBLEMS CONTINUE, ((FUCK YOU ALASTOR)) DISABLE OR REMOVE ANY ALASTOR(S) FROM THE GENERAL VICINITY. IF YOU NEED TO USE ‘UNSAFE MODE’ RESET YOUR VOXTEK DEVICE PRESS F5 AND SELECT ‘ADVANCED STARTUP OPTIONS’ THEN SELECT ‘UNSAFE MODE’

TECHNICAL INFORMATION:

******STOP: ALASTOR.EXE ((OLD TIMY PRICK.RADIO))***

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel season 1 #Hazbin hotel screengrabs #just little details for anyone who doesn't want to spend time pausing it #katie killjoy #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel angel dust #vox hazbin hotel #valentino hazbin hotel #alastor and vox hatemance #AV hatemance #hellaverse

[safedistancefrombeingsmart]

Martin Freeman's characters locked up, tied up or chained 👀👀

As it happens sometimes when I talk to one of My Favourite Watsons™ (@colourfulwatson this time), the best ideas are born. Or implanted in my mind. One evening @colourfulwatson casually asked "Hey, have you ever made a gifset with Martin's characters tied up or chained?" And I had to a say "Sadly, no." 😬 But I was instantly hooked on the idea. Because how could I not? What a fun set to make. Thanks for the great idea and pointing me to the perfect scenes (I never would have thought about The Voorman Problem) @colourfulwatson 😘 Half the credit for this goes to her.

The Hobbit- An Unexpected Journey

The Voorman Problem

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Fargo

Cargo

StartUp

Sherlock

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

The Responder

Secret Invasion

#martin freeman #john watson #bilbo baggins #sherlock #my gfx #the hobbit #the responder #arthur dent #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #secret invasion #everett ross #fargo #lester nygaard #phil rask #iain mackelpie #martinfreemanedit

[octuscle]

Blonde by FaceTime

Alec has always had a bit of a crush on his friend Van. Actually, ever since they played together in the sandbox. But even then, Alec was the little chubby one. And Van the sweet heartbreaker. Van went through the usual stages to captain of the football team of an alpha career. And now he had his MBA cum laude and was about to embark on a stellar career.

Just to be close to Van, Alec had also studied business. At the same college. Although with his grades, he could have gone to a much better college. And even though he had always wanted to study medicine to become a pediatrician. And now it was all for nothing. Van had moved to Chicago a week ago to become a product manager for an online platform. And Alec had gotten an offer to go to work for an engineering company from their hometown to their branch in the Czech Republic. Alec had paid a high price for his hidden, never-expressed love. Getting a great georgraphic distance from Van now was probably the best solution.

Even now, when Van had become almost unattainable, Alec held on to him. He had gotten a deer, Van's nickname since childhood for some reason, inked on his forearm. And he started running to get closer to his own ideal, Van's athletic body. Today was the first fun run he participated in. He had already lost a few pounds. He was proud of that. So he had a colleague take a picture of himself and sent the Van "Miss you pal" was the caption.

Almost immediately his phone rang. Facetime video call from Van.

"Hi bro, damn you look good! How's life over in old Europe? It's still the middle of the night here, I was just getting in a quick work out before work."

Van turned the view and showed a picture of himself from the mirror. Alec had to swallow and got a dry throat. He didn't know what he was doing. The devil was riding him. So an "I love you" came out of his mouth.

For a second there was silence. "Dude, you better keep your massive cock under control. I would never be able to tame your monster" Van replied laughing. Alec laughed along with him. He was relieved that Van had taken it that way. Yes, the dick comparison had been the only contest with Van in which he had regularly won.

"Hehehehe, it's tough with all the hot studs here at the start."

Indeed, the bulge in his tight running shorts was scary. Many participants in the run, as well as spectators, had already been staring at him and whispering.

"That's what I think, bro! Is your stay successful then? What is the news on the market of nutritional supplements? Can't wait for you to bring back some cool new stuff."

Arec talked a bit about the fitness trade show here in Brno. In fact, there were a few things he wanted to include in the lineup of his fitness startup. He could use a little breath of fresh air for his business. True, he was a genius when it came to marketing and app development. And in theory, he knew everything about crossfitting and bodybuilding. But he just didn't have the body to make it believable. Fortunately, Van was regularly available as a model. When he posted something on Instagram, his sales went straight up.

Van replied that he had seen videos from the show on YouTube. "Dude, you did great on stage. Arac laughed and held the phone so that you could see as much of his biceps as possible. "Bruh, it was just a spontaneous idea. Several people had approached me. Actually, I don't feel in shape for competitions at all" "Honey, I don't think you need to be fishing for compliments right now. Come on, make your tits dance for me!" Arac didn't have to be asked twice. He loved this. The moment when Van had shown him how to do it was just awesome. Today his pecs were almost bigger than his friend's. A few people around him applauded. He had almost forgotten about the conversation with Van that he was standing in the middle of the fair among all the other visitors.

"Did you read the comments on your performance. They called you 'the blond angel'. Suits me, bro." Arac stroked his hair. He loved his blond hair. He had been blond since he was a kid, unlike Van. In pictures of the two of them from kindergarten, Van had always been the one with the darker hair. Today there was hardly any difference between the two.

"Bro, did you write down what all you are supposed to bring. I mean, we both know you can't remember anything with that birdbrain stuck in that hot skull of yours."

"Bruh, i may not b as smart as u, but i can still read ur emails" Arad laughed boomingly. A few guests at the fair took pictures of him. As best he could while talking on the phone, Arad did them the favor and struck a few poses. In his head, he frantically went over what all his duties here were. Fuck, he just forgot everything. And a few tasks, if he had to be honest, he didn't understand at all. He'd graduated from college with difficulty and on an athletic scholarship. He was glad he had Van as a mentor, Van had always been the smart one of the two. "Fuck, bruh! day all speak czech or german here. N english with uh nasty accent. I'm really lost here without uh brain like you!" "Goldilocks, you should have used your head for something other than growing a Viking mane for the last few years." Van laughed. "Don't worry about it, as long as you come back safe and sound!" "Wait uh minute, deer! I've got some selfies to take right now." A couple of the local bodybuilders and a bunch of chicks had already lined up. Arad let them take their selfies with him and turned back to Van.

"Deer, I miss you! When will I see you again?" "Dumbass, I'm already in the locker room. I'll be on the training floor in a minute. Did you clean up and tidy the gym properly? It would be cool if you could at least get this job done."

Brad looked around. Yes, he had carefully worked through the piece of paper with his work instructions. Damn, there sure were a lot of things he had to do in the morning before the Gym opened. He had already secretly let Van in before he officially opened the doors right away. On the one hand, Van could work out before the others, and on the other hand, he had someone to check if he had done everything right. Brad wanted to do this job well. Van earned enough for the two of them, but he didn't always want to be just the decorative accessory. Oh what was he kidding himself. He had turned Van into a fellow who was almost as hot as Brad himself. And now he was making sure they both ate the right diet, that the apartment was tidy. And that Van got to work out before the others. He looked around him. All set, he could open the doors. The door opened and Van came out of the locker rooms grinning.

"Honey, you already know you're not allowed to work bare-chested" "Hehehe, it's not just me who would be happier with that." Van laughed and threw him the T-shirt with the club logo. Before putting it on, Brad gave Van a passionate kiss. Something he had to do now…. Right, unlock the door and let in the members who were waiting outside.He was so glad he had Van.

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #male transformation #muscle transformation

[chiyoso]

original pin

hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, to the first time reading this, womp womp. this is a re-write.

an update of this owner's blog. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, and not clearly descriptive of my situation outside outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)

alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.

writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.

just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?

that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)

“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”

i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.

thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.

i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.

right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.

i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.

all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.

thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.

i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.

i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.

p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)

@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.

@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.

god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.

⸻ with all my love, chiyo.

#real shit i think i just need dick #that or a love so overwhelming from a person that theyll die for me cos id do the same

[outofcontextbokumono]

In your Allen post you mentioned Natsume is notorious for bad translations. That's super interesting, I had no idea! Is it more of spelling error stuff or just straight up mistranslations?

first of all great question anon!! it's kind of a mix of both, and it varies from game to game. most natsume dialogue just generally reads very clunky and robotic in the english versions, especially when compared to the newer games, where everyone has their own unique way of speaking, and you can usually tell who's talking just based on their mannerisms.

there's more general info on this topic + natsume's involvement with marvelous games in my masterpost here.

xseed's newer games obviously aren't immune to forgetting a few punctuation marks here and there, but natsume's was bad. like, "something about the games just feel Off and uncanny and there's no other way to explain it" bad.

i'm pretty sure it's just because the translators weren't native english speakers, so everything is translated super literally, but if you are one yourself it becomes blatantly obvious simply by looking at the dialogue for more than 5 minutes. this ranges anywhere from minor miswordings to lines that just don't make any sense at all no matter how many times you read them.

and then there's stuff that's so messed up we don't even KNOW how it got there. like some of this shit i would 100% believe you if you just said the game got corrupted because if it isn't that then i can only assume the employees did a large dose of crack cocaine before translating these games. i'm talking like... entire lines that didn't even get translated. text so butchered its straight up unreadable. that one time they misspelled their own NAME in the startup screen. TWICE.

and, last but not least, probably one of my all time favorite errors in a natsume game but one i'll never be able to post here because it's funny purely in context- and it is the singular line in harvest moon: friends of mineral town where the priest, carter, just speaks to you in fucking German

this. this is the error i don't have even the SLIGHTEST explanation for. and, correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm 99.9% sure nobody else does either.

this was....just one line. just the one line of dialogue. where he speaks german. in a japanese farming game that was being localized into english.

at least with the untranslated kanji you have some general sense of how that happened. like, yeah, okay, they just missed a line, whatever. but this isn't even remotely close to the same situation. there should be NO german in this equation whatsoever. it's like if you did 2 + 2 and somehow got 17. and nobody looked over your paper and went, "hey, that doesn't look quite right, man, maybe you should fix that", so you just turned it in and for some reason not even the TEACHER questioned it, they gave you a full grade and a gold star and put your paper on the whiteboard clear as day for all your classmates to see. that's what this feels like.

I. do not think the natsume employees are okay can someone check on them for me

#bokumono #bokujou monogatari #mod speaks #harvest moon #story of seasons #hmanb #harvest moon a new beginning #hm fomt #harvest moon fomt #harvest moon anb #harvest moon friends of mineral town

[gabessquishytum]

From the horny discord chat today, someone posted a picture of Trader Joe's trail mix, branded the "Omega Trek" mix. It snowballed from there.

Scheduled subscription boxes for omegas in heat! All the most cutting edge nutritious and tasty snacks and over the counter remedies to make the process more bearable for unpartnered omegas. But what happens if your heat comes early and your goodies aren't there yet?

So. Dream is a loner alpha who runs a company that makes products for these boxes, and omega Hob has signed up to be one of his product testers, but his heat comes and the shipment has gotten lost (or whatever we like.) Fortunately Hob happens to be in the same city as Dream and he could just drop by with the items he really needs tested! It's just... there's a deadline, right? And he really needs this data. Very important data! He can't wait another 3 months or whatever or take the time to have new volunteers do the legal paperwork needed to be his product testers or he won't make the production deadline.

So he'll just drive the snacks over to this guy himself, no problem! What could possibly go wrong?

Actively yelling over the idea of Startup Company Guy Dream. His siblings laugh at him because what does he do for a living?! Put nuts and seaweed and chocolate into boxes?? Spend hours calculating the vitamins and minerals needed for a healthy heat?? Even his kinder family members think it won't last a month.

But Hob saw the product advertised on tiktok or something and thought it was a great idea!! So he signs up to test it about 6 months before the product is launched, and agrees to fill out a bunch of questionnaires and do an interview.

...and the data really IS important, which is how Dream ends up standing on Hob’s porch, waiting for him to answer the door. He should probably just drop the box there and leave but... it seems polite to at least check in with this guy who has agreed to help him out!

Unfortunately when Hob cracks open the door, he gets a whiff of yummy snacks AND yummy alpha. His mouth starts watering, and he accidentally swings the door wide open. It all goes a bit downhill from there.

Well, not downhill. But Hob’s experience of taste testing the snacks mostly involves him sitting on Dream’s knot and being lovingly fed in the brief periods when they're not fucking hard. So Hob probably can't give an entirely objective review of Dream’s project, but he can say with absolute certainty that everything Dream has given him tastes absolutely divine. Not just the snacks 😉

The snacks give Dream and Hob a great opportunity to stay in touch, because Hob does genuinely want to help because the product was yummy and left him feeling much better than usual after his heat. Every time they meet up to discuss the product though, it inevitably turns into another excuse to fall into bed together!

When the snacks finally launch to be sold on the open market, they're obviously a total success! At the launch party Hob finally, timidly suggests that maybe he and Dream should start seeing each other like... normal people? Not just under the guise of business stuff?

And Dream shyly hands him a personally curated box of snacks with all his favourites, and asks if Hob would consider sharing his next heat with Dream? As boyfriends this time?

And then they fuck in the bathroom, and Dream is late to give his speech, but it's totally worth it <3

#karalynlovescake #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw omegaverse #cw food

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Big Tech disrupted disruption

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/08/permanent-overlords/#republicans-want-to-defund-the-police

Before "disruption" turned into a punchline, it was a genuinely exciting idea. Using technology, we could connect people to one another and allow them to collaborate, share, and cooperate to make great things happen.

It's easy (and valid) to dismiss the "disruption" of Uber, which "disrupted" taxis and transit by losing $31b worth of Saudi royal money in a bid to collapse the world's rival transportation system, while quietly promising its investors that it would someday have pricing power as a monopoly, and would attain profit through price-gouging and wage-theft.

Uber's disruption story was wreathed in bullshit: lies about the "independence" of its drivers, about the imminence of self-driving taxis, about the impact that replacing buses and subways with millions of circling, empty cars would have on traffic congestion. There were and are plenty of problems with traditional taxis and transit, but Uber magnified these problems, under cover of "disrupting" them away.

But there are other feats of high-tech disruption that were and are genuinely transformative – Wikipedia, GNU/Linux, RSS, and more. These disruptive technologies altered the balance of power between powerful institutions and the businesses, communities and individuals they dominated, in ways that have proven both beneficial and durable.

When we speak of commercial disruption today, we usually mean a tech company disrupting a non-tech company. Tinder disrupts singles bars. Netflix disrupts Blockbuster. Airbnb disrupts Marriott.

But the history of "disruption" features far more examples of tech companies disrupting other tech companies: DEC disrupts IBM. Netscape disrupts Microsoft. Google disrupts Yahoo. Nokia disrupts Kodak, sure – but then Apple disrupts Nokia. It's only natural that the businesses most vulnerable to digital disruption are other digital businesses.

And yet…disruption is nowhere to be seen when it comes to the tech sector itself. Five giant companies have been running the show for more than a decade. A couple of these companies (Apple, Microsoft) are Gen-Xers, having been born in the 70s, then there's a couple of Millennials (Amazon, Google), and that one Gen-Z kid (Facebook). Big Tech shows no sign of being disrupted, despite the continuous enshittification of their core products and services. How can this be? Has Big Tech disrupted disruption itself?

That's the contention of "Coopting Disruption," a new paper from two law profs: Mark Lemley (Stanford) and Matthew Wansley (Yeshiva U):

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4713845

The paper opens with a review of the literature on disruption. Big companies have some major advantages: they've got people and infrastructure they can leverage to bring new products to market more cheaply than startups. They've got existing relationships with suppliers, distributors and customers. People trust them.

Diversified, monopolistic companies are also able to capture "involuntary spillovers": when Google spends money on AI for image recognition, it can improve Google Photos, YouTube, Android, Search, Maps and many other products. A startup with just one product can't capitalize on these spillovers in the same way, so it doesn't have the same incentives to spend big on R&D.

Finally, big companies have access to cheap money. They get better credit terms from lenders, they can float bonds, they can tap the public markets, or just spend their own profits on R&D. They can also afford to take a long view, because they're not tied to VCs whose funds turn over every 5-10 years. Big companies get cheap money, play a long game, pay less to innovate and get more out of innovation.

But those advantages are swamped by the disadvantages of incumbency, all the various curses of bigness. Take Arrow's "replacement effect": new companies that compete with incumbents drive down the incumbents' prices and tempt their customers away. But an incumbent that buys a disruptive new company can just shut it down, and whittle down its ideas to "sustaining innovation" (small improvements to existing products), killing "disruptive innovation" (major changes that make the existing products obsolete).

Arrow's Replacement Effect also comes into play before a new product even exists. An incumbent that allows a rival to do R&D that would eventually disrupt its product is at risk; but if the incumbent buys this pre-product, R&D-heavy startup, it can turn the research to sustaining innovation and defund any disruptive innovation.

Arrow asks us to look at the innovation question from the point of view of the company as a whole. Clayton Christensen's "Innovator's Dilemma" looks at the motivations of individual decision-makers in large, successful companies. These individuals don't want to disrupt their own business, because that will render some part of their own company obsolete (perhaps their own division!). They also don't want to radically change their customers' businesses, because those customers would also face negative effects from disruption.

A startup, by contrast, has no existing successful divisions and no giant customers to safeguard. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain from disruption. Where a large company has no way for individual employees to initiate major changes in corporate strategy, a startup has fewer hops between employees and management. What's more, a startup that rewards an employee's good idea with a stock-grant ties that employee's future finances to the outcome of that idea – while a giant corporation's stock bonuses are only incidentally tied to the ideas of any individual worker.

Big companies are where good ideas go to die. If a big company passes on its employees' cool, disruptive ideas, that's the end of the story for that idea. But even if 100 VCs pass on a startup's cool idea and only one VC funds it, the startup still gets to pursue that idea. In startup land, a good idea gets lots of chances – in a big company, it only gets one.

Given how innately disruptable tech companies are, given how hard it is for big companies to innovate, and given how little innovation we've gotten from Big Tech, how is it that the tech giants haven't been disrupted?

The authors propose a four-step program for the would-be Tech Baron hoping to defend their turf from disruption.

First, gather information about startups that might develop disruptive technologies and steer them away from competing with you, by investing in them or partnering with them.

Second, cut off any would-be competitor's supply of resources they need to develop a disruptive product that challenges your own.

Third, convince the government to pass regulations that big, established companies can comply with but that are business-killing challenges for small competitors.

Finally, buy up any company that resists your steering, succeeds despite your resource war, and escapes the compliance moats of regulation that favors incumbents.

Then: kill those companies.

The authors proceed to show that all four tactics are in play today. Big Tech companies operate their own VC funds, which means they get a look at every promising company in the field, even if they don't want to invest in them. Big Tech companies are also awash in money and their "rival" VCs know it, and so financial VCs and Big Tech collude to fund potential disruptors and then sell them to Big Tech companies as "aqui-hires" that see the disruption neutralized.

On resources, the authors focus on data, and how companies like Facebook have explicit policies of only permitting companies they don't see as potential disruptors to access Facebook data. They reproduce internal Facebook strategy memos that divide potential platform users into "existing competitors, possible future competitors, [or] developers that we have alignment with on business models." These categories allow Facebook to decide which companies are capable of developing disruptive products and which ones aren't. For example, Amazon – which doesn't compete with Facebook – is allowed to access FB data to target shoppers. But Messageme, a startup, was cut off from Facebook as soon as management perceived them as a future rival. Ironically – but unsurprisingly – Facebook spins these policies as pro-privacy, not anti-competitive.

These data policies cast a long shadow. They don't just block existing companies from accessing the data they need to pursue disruptive offerings – they also "send a message" to would-be founders and investors, letting them know that if they try to disrupt a tech giant, they will have their market oxygen cut off before they can draw breath. The only way to build a product that challenges Facebook is as Facebook's partner, under Facebook's direction, with Facebook's veto.

Next, regulation. Starting in 2019, Facebook started publishing full-page newspaper ads calling for regulation. Someone ghost-wrote a Washington Post op-ed under Zuckerberg's byline, arguing the case for more tech regulation. Google, Apple, OpenAI other tech giants have all (selectively) lobbied in favor of many regulations. These rules covered a lot of ground, but they all share a characteristic: complying with them requires huge amounts of money – money that giant tech companies can spare, but potential disruptors lack.

Finally, there's predatory acquisitions. Mark Zuckerberg, working without the benefit of a ghost writer (or in-house counsel to review his statements for actionable intent) has repeatedly confessed to buying companies like Instagram to ensure that they never grow to be competitors. As he told one colleague, "I remember your internal post about how Instagram was our threat and not Google+. You were basically right. The thing about startups though is you can often acquire them.”

All the tech giants are acquisition factories. Every successful Google product, almost without exception, is a product they bought from someone else. By contrast, Google's own internal products typically crash and burn, from G+ to Reader to Google Videos. Apple, meanwhile, buys 90 companies per year – Tim Apple brings home a new company for his shareholders more often than you bring home a bag of groceries for your family. All the Big Tech companies' AI offerings are acquisitions, and Apple has bought more AI companies than any of them.

Big Tech claims to be innovating, but it's really just operationalizing. Any company that threatens to disrupt a tech giant is bought, its products stripped of any really innovative features, and the residue is added to existing products as a "sustaining innovation" – a dot-release feature that has all the innovative disruption of rounding the corners on a new mobile phone.

The authors present three case-studies of tech companies using this four-point strategy to forestall disruption in AI, VR and self-driving cars. I'm not excited about any of these three categories, but it's clear that the tech giants are worried about them, and the authors make a devastating case for these disruptions being disrupted by Big Tech.

What do to about it? If we like (some) disruption, and if Big Tech is enshittifying at speed without facing dethroning-by-disruption, how do we get the dynamism and innovation that gave us the best of tech?

The authors make four suggestions.

First, revive the authorities under existing antitrust law to ban executives from Big Tech companies from serving on the boards of startups. More broadly, kill interlocking boards altogether. Remember, these powers already exist in the lawbooks, so accomplishing this goal means a change in enforcement priorities, not a new act of Congress or rulemaking. What's more, interlocking boards between competing companies are illegal per se, meaning there's no expensive, difficult fact-finding needed to demonstrate that two companies are breaking the law by sharing directors.

Next: create a nondiscrimination policy that requires the largest tech companies that share data with some unaffiliated companies to offer data on the same terms to other companies, except when they are direct competitors. They argue that this rule will keep tech giants from choking off disruptive technologies that make them obsolete (rather than competing with them).

On the subject of regulation and compliance moats, they have less concrete advice. They counsel lawmakers to greet tech giants' demands to be regulated with suspicion, to proceed with caution when they do regulate, and to shape regulation so that it doesn't limit market entry, by keeping in mind the disproportionate burdens regulations put on established giants and small new companies. This is all good advice, but it's more a set of principles than any kind of specific practice, test or procedure.

Finally, they call for increased scrutiny of mergers, including mergers between very large companies and small startups. They argue that existing law (Sec 2 of the Sherman Act and Sec 7 of the Clayton Act) both empower enforcers to block these acquisitions. They admit that the case-law on this is poor, but that just means that enforcers need to start making new case-law.

I like all of these suggestions! We're certainly enjoying a more activist set of regulators, who are more interested in Big Tech, than we've seen in generations.

But they are grossly under-resourced even without giving them additional duties. As Matt Stoller points out, "the DOJ's Antitrust Division has fewer people enforcing anti-monopoly laws in a $24 trillion economy than the Smithsonian Museum has security guards."

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/congressional-republicans-to-defund

What's more, Republicans are trying to slash their budgets even further. The American conservative movement has finally located a police force they're eager to defund: the corporate police who defend us all from predatory monopolies.

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #coopting disruption #law and political economy #law #economics #competition #big tech #tech #innovation #acquihires #predatory acquisitions #mergers and acquisitions #disruption #schumpeter #the curse of bigness #clay christensen #josef schumpeter #christensen #enshittiification #business #regulation #scholarship

[moviesludge]

check it out I have this great idea for a startup app

#The Devonsville Terror #1983 #Suzanna Love #fire

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

What is the Tumblr kokobot mental health thing and why does it keep messaging me when I go into various mental health/neurodivergent tags? I'm generally looking for community and I don't appreciate this site deciding I am In Danger. You're a therapist and I feel like you've probably talked about mental health apps before so thought I'd ask

Uuuugh, that thing. I think I blocked it a couple months back. BUT, I'm going to be as fair to it as I can.

The part you and I bumped into is their automated chatbot, which monitors traffic on social media sites to detect people having mental health crises and try to convince them to access mental health support. Apparently their bot got good enough at detecting human behaviour patterns online that they actually spun it off into a separate company for a while and then sold their tech to a corporation, before returning to the mental health idea. They returned to it, critically, as a non-profit, which is why I'm willing to give it a second look at all.

tl;dr: I would not immediately warn everyone away from using it! Which is more than I could say for a lot of Silicon Valley mental health startups. I don't love the current implementation, but I think they might have the makings of a decent mutual aid platform for temporary moments of stress.

Long version below

Like, I was not a fan at all of Trill when Tumblr partnered with it, because I felt that they were using well-intentioned volunteers to do potentially harrowing and dangerous work without adequate training or support. (Or not-so-great volunteers, since I was dubious about their vetting process) And a lot of Kokobot's origin story is in some ways really similar to Trill.

Most of these startups and initiatives mean well. They want to make the world better and help provide comfort and support to people who need that. I admire them for their dedication to a good cause. However, I believe that when you are devoting significant resources to building a system where you ask people to choose you for support in their moments of vulnerability, you cannot put your intentions ahead of their needs.

Like: It is really great that people want to help the less-fortunate. I think it shows warmth of heart to want to go somewhere and build homes for the homeless. But if you've never built a house before, and the houses you build are so poorly constructed that they fall down or catch fire or whatever, and they wouldn't have if you'd put the equivalent amount of money into hiring local out-of-work carpenters to do the work properly, I don't think you should keep operating like that as a charity.

I'm also judging Koko a bit as the former teenager who wanted to help people, in terms of how much they provide guidance and support to the helpers they've recruited.

Finally, I feel the need to remind all of us, as useless as such reminders feel, that if you are not paying for a social media platform, you aren't a customer; you are the product. "Kokobot", the organization, the platform, the AI, are not the core producers of its value. Its users are. Without people in distress to whom to provide support, and without supportive people there in times of distress, it would not exist.

Maybe this will never be an issue. Maybe this conflict will never arise. Maybe the nonprofit organization will be devoted enough to the needs of its userbase that they will serve them faithfully and well. I hope so.

I'm just... jaded, by things I've seen before.

What I don't like at all:

It took me a lot of work to go from looking up Kokobot on Tumblr to understanding how the company worked, what using the app was like, and whether their work was being informed by anyone with a lick of knowledge about mental health care. I still don't know a lot of stuff about how they handle anonymity in situations like imminent suicide or homicide, or abuses of the platform.

Kokobot messaging people out of the blue is creepy as hell. My first response was, "Fuck off, I can TELL you're not ethical." Most ethical guidelines I know of for mental health therapists explicitly forbid directly soliciting clients ("Hey there, I can tell you've got a few issues. Here's my card"), especially when people appear psychologically vulnerable or in distress. The only wiggle room there is when you're working in disaster relief and crisis intervention, but that does not make it an "anything goes" situation.

@kokobot posting lots of testimonials from users about how great their service is. Again, something usually strictly forbidden by ethical standards! When someone has just come to you in distress and you've provided them help, and then ask them to give you a Yelp review, you're not usually going to get thoughtful, measured, and informed feedback. It's a weird power dynamic that might be great advertising, but not great informed consent.

While Koko might be a legit company that does its job well, its presence and behaviour opens up the field of what is acceptable behaviour on social media. If one app can track mental health tags and solicit vulnerable people into joining their group, why not another? What will stop Scientology (which has done this in person for decades) from creating a similar app, pitching it to people in need, and coaching its users to go off all their psychiatric medications and use pseudoscience instead? Where are the safeguards?

What's Not Terrible

Kokobot is clunky and weird, but like I said on my post on Trill, the hardest part of moderation on social media is the amount of labour it takes, and the human cost of that labour. It seems to me that by using AI, Koko might have found an efficient way to automate much of that labour.

I tried out the actual app itself, messaging on Telegram; for my "problem", I just said I was concerned that a friend was messaging Koko a lot and I wanted to make sure it was legit. Sending it out required answers to some pretty vital questions—did I feel hopeful or hopeless about the world? What kinds of best- or worst-case scenarios was I imagining? They were worded in a way that felt human and genuine, and the chatbot was responsive and encouraging before my problem ever got human eyes on it.

(For the record: These are questions that can very quickly give information on whether someone is likely to be a danger to themselves or anyone else, which are really important.)

Then, at the bot's suggestion, I also helped a couple other people, where I was given very rough and ready training on active listening, then coached into writing a response. It avoided a lot of on-ramps to community toxicity, inasmuch as the problems and replies were private and anonymous, and there were instant feedback options if anything was worrying or upsetting.

This process showed what I think was a more sophisticated and useful implementation of AI than, uh....... like 99% of the AI I've seen. This is mostly a statement on the state of AI, but still. Koko seems like the bot's responses were really carefully workshopped and designed by actual humans who knew about crisis intervention and risk assessment.

The replies I got to my "problem" were fairly good, empathetic and genuine. (The bot encourages people to be a little dorky, and seeing an auto-generated response I myself was suggested made me roll my eyes; this could reduce the value for some people.)

I can definitely see the benefit of encouraging people who are feeling distressed to help others. Engaging in peer support encourages empathy, and helps people feel like they've got something to offer, and that problems might be solvable.

In the end, Kokobot is an expansion of the kind of work volunteer-run distress and crisis hotlines do. It has the potential to do a lot of good, but the organization itself has to consider so many other factors and processes than its users do. I sincerely hope it and Tumblr are being extremely thoughtful and careful in how they handle this work.

I would be delighted to be proven wrong, and have them turn out to be totally amazing. I really hope they do.

#suicide discussion tw #mental health #kokobot

[patricia-taxxon]

Out of curiosity, besides SC and SJ, have you played any other Celeste contests/collabs? And were there any maps from them that stood out to you?

Oh, I've played a few.

Winter Collab: sucks, except for forward facility which is a banger

FLCC Collab: It's in shambles, lol, I should probably go back and give it a second chance though. Stomach a little jank for the greater good, there's some really interesting ideas in there.

Frogeline Project: Mostly good, actually. Didn't clear this one 100% but there's good variety especially in the expert/gm range.

Dream Collab: This is actually the best fucking thing on the celeste gamebanana page, I don't talk about it much because it skews incredibly difficult & is hard to recommend, but it's just excellent almost all the way through and every map is completely different. There's only one "cliche" map per difficulty range, it's great, Rif's maps especially are all super unique and prickly. In my video about spring collab I talk about how delighted I was by the way the grandmaster lobby culminates in 2 cracked red difficulty maps that are completely different in tone and concept, Dream Collab culminates with 3. This fuckin dark triad of incomperable mega difficult shit, there's the standard hypernyoom ultra jellyspam map but there's also a 7d1d-lite style summit map and this just absolutely cursed core map that's one of my favorite things I've ever played in this engine. Sometimes I watch footage of dream collab maps when SJ makes me struggle to remember what I even like about this game.

I've played a couple contests too, but by their nature they are much less curated. Startup and Midway were both mostly playable, which was surprising, although there's a lot of mega scuffed shit to be found in there too. Endgame contest also must be mentioned, the uncuratedness of a contest combined with extreme difficulty makes for some absolutely absurd moments of emergent genius. Watch parrot dash's playthru of it, at least. Open Sea is another fav of mine.

#patricia taxxon ask #celeste #celeste mod #cilantromixture

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 91

A long episode with an ominous title ... yeah, this can't bode well at all ...

Sam's a cat again. Great ... oh, Taliesin's a mouse? Of course he is. This is more like it ... Travis is loving this already ... ah, short but sweet, definitely ... oh yeah, I totally agree with Ashley, massive Donnie Darko vibes ... XD

Liam: "I want Sam and Tal to reenact that scene from The Shining." Um ... okay? O.O

So, picking up right where we left off, then ... chaos, and LOTS of craziness, with VERY heavy implications ...

Oh, so Liliana is HUNTING, now? For them in particular? Or just ... ANYTHING? Hmmm ...

Yes, SHUSH, Pate! You're REALLY loud right now ...

Chetney-wolf: "Hold onto my tail! Tighter!" Stop it, Travis ... XD

This is going to be a complicated getaway, clearly ...

PANIC!!! Great ... how long is it gonna be before they get spotted? CAN THEY get away from this?

Mystics? Crap ... "a Murder of Mystics" ... yeah ...

A little on-the-run healing and repair work ...

Balls, good point ... yeah, they have NO IDEA where they are or where they're going ... and now Ashley's cocking dice all over the place ... O.O

Oh, this can't be good ...mystical shenanigans ... FUCK!!! Invisibility is now GONE!!! Shit! Oh this is SO FUCKING BAD ...

PLEASE don't tell me they just lost their Telepathic Bond too ... oh for the love of the GODS, Matthew, you cruel bastard ... NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO!!!

Hide! Just fucking HIDE, people!

Wow ... Taliesin rolled amazing, but Sam and Ashley rolled BALLS on Stealth ... that's so bad ... oh shit, and now they've got GLoamglut RIGHT ABOVE THEM!!! Ouch ... does it see them? Oh no, Fearne, PLEASE do not try to PET the fucking thing!

Marisha: "There are no dumb ideas in D&D!" Are you SERIOUS? OF COURSE there are!

AAAAAAAAAND now they're blown ... good one, Fearne! Now they're coming down ...

Ashton, WHAT THE FUCK are you doing? Oh, that's right, HE IS still in his powered state ... 32 points of damage on the wall? Holy fuck ... oh yeah, that's just a FANTASTIC distraction/escape ... nice! Just run. RUN!!!

Another wall? Oh yeah ... BOOM!!! Ashton's just a demolition MACHINE right now ...

NOW he's knocking down a building they're not even going into ... bit overly much for cover, isn't it? Jeeze, Ashton ... STOP ENCOURAGING THIS, Matthew!

Oh yeah, they're TOTALLY broadcasting their location now ...

Seriously, just HIDE while you got cover, seriously ...

Crap, Dex saves for the three of them? O.O ... oh hell, what's that fucking Fay dragon gonna do? Darkfire? Oh hell ... whoa, 16 points is HALF damage? Ow ...

Oh, NOW Imogen's casting Invisibility? Yes, do that ...

Evoroa gives directions ... yes, good move ... do that now!

Quart mile away? No, HALF of that? Hmmm ...

Back to the panicked chase ... RUN RUN RUN!!!

Can they fit through that? Ashton's going under, apparently ... just SQUEEZE guys ... yeah, shquish in those fantastic tits and that luscious butt, Fearne! Crap, it's coming again! I hate that fucking dragon!

Oh wow, the Sorrowlord speaks! He knows she's here! Crap!

Pass Without a Trace! Finally!

Fearne: "Do we need to cut off your wheels?" FCG: "127 hours!" Cue sawblade startup whir ...

Wow, Zathuda is actually MONOLOGUING ... Fearne: "Can you say all that again?" LOL ...

Fungus? Great ... Annihilation? Cool ...

"Pussy in Bio"? Nice flask nonsense this time, Samuel ...

PEG IT!!! Once it's clear, anyway ...

Polymorph, yes ... a "moon thing"? Hmmmm ... so she turns FCG into a Slither ... okay ... and then she Wildshapes into one too ... okay, get tunneling guys!

Ah, yes ... where ARE THEY going?

A Survival roll? Oh boy ... 28? Nice one, Ashley! Heading back towards their exit, then ...

And so back to the others ...

A Wisdom save IMMEDIATELY? Fuck, Matthew ... 15? Hmm ... wait, THAT'S not good enough? Shit! O.O

Laudna: "You're not like a sleeper agent, are you?" No, really, please don't even put that karma OUT THERE!

The Sprawl Grotto? Cool ...

Yeah, they don't know WHERE they're going right now ...

Bronze fountain! OKay ... oh hell, what's THIS shit?

And now they're very effectively TRAPPED. Great ... is this them SPECIFICALLY, or just general? Oh, it's DEFINITELY for them ... not good ...

SHIT!!! LIliana is now RIGHT ABOVE THEM ... "Did ... you ... KNOW?!!!"

Is Imogen REALLY gonna try and bluff this? Wow ...

Oh, so she has been THROUGH IT ...

The locket? Oooooh ... O.O

Can she talk her down? Get through to her somehow? COME ON ... Persuasion roll? Oh boy ... 16? Whoa ... um ... is that enough?

Wait ... DID THAT just work?

Yeah, just RUN ...

Oh, for fuck's sake ... NOW what? Damn it, more mystics? Crap ... oh yeah, they're proper BUSTED ... crap, this is the ACTUAL Weave Mind?

Oh, so this MIGHT be an illusion? Hmmm ...

Hold on, are they doing something to Chet? Crazy werewolf shit? Crap ... and Travis totally fails that save ... O.O ... bollocks, this is so bad ... Sam: "Quick! Distract them with a toy!"

Liam: "If we keep making these jokes for 30 minutes we won't have to deal with this problem!" LOL

Orym is choosing NOW to invoke Nana Morri ... oh boy ...

What just happened?

Nothing immediately around, but they're in the area ... just GO. Right now, just FUCKING GO. RIGHT NOW.

Back to the Burrowers ...

It's oh so quiet ... that CANNOT be good ... yeah, just BOOK IT ... nuts, more mystics ...

Oh, they FOUND THEM? Okay ... yeah, just FOLLOW THEM!!! Quick!

Going up? Yes, seems the smart way to go.

Yeah, they DO NOT speak Slither ... aaaaand they're finally back together ... in the most ridiculous way possible ... XD

Yeah, sending a merssage to the Volition would probably be the smart move right now ... maybe they could send somebody to find you ...

So, where to go now?

Imogen Sends to Rashinna ... so the safehouse is out ... hmmm ... so they're just going to have to find alternative digs ...

OOh ... yeah, do that! A giant mole sounds so cool ... like that one in City of Ember! O.O That'd be sweet ...

FCG's still a Slither? Oh boy ...

Crap! What's this? Oh no, what the fuck ... PLEASE don't be fucking Otohan! No ... NO!!! Fuck ... that bitch is SO FUCKING CLOSE now ... hell ... JUST RUN, guys!

Ashton pops up out the ground and SMACKS THE ROOF OF THE TUNNEL with his hammer once they're through ... smart and sweet ... oh fuck ... you mean he COULD collapse the whole thing? Thankfully not ... phew!

Bollocks, Otohan is COMING!!! Fuck ...

RUN!!! JUST FUCKING RUN!!!

Crap ... SHE'S FOUND THEM!!! They're in deep shit ... AND NOW he chooses to call a break? Seriously? Matthew!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ... and now he's producing a Battlemap ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Cut Wizzkids plug! Also FUCK!!!

Fuck me ... is the rest of this episode JUST gonna be combat? Gods no ... I'm not ready for this ...

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

So ... Orym's up first ... he slips between her leags and turns round to attack her fancy backpack ... OKAY!!! A Crit! Go, wee man! 38 points of damage! Yeah! Another hit! Yeah! ANOTHER Crit! Sweet! 25 points ... anmd she's Hexed too ... nice ...

Legendry Action? Crap ... Telekinetic Control? Fuck ... and even with Indomitable Orym can't resist it ... she flings him like a ragdoll! Ouch!

Laudna unleashes her Hellhoud because she is FURIOUS right now! Yeah ... FCG names the pooch Caviar? Cute ... now she Banes Otohan ... goody!

Otohan dashes off ... giving the Hellhound an attack of opportunity ... which fails ... crap! She attacks Chetney ... oof ... 27 points of slashing damage! Ow! Plus the Psionic knocks him prone ... another 16 points with additional Force? Argh ... and another 13 plus 9 more ... AND another hit? 13 plus 10! Fuck ... he is BARELY alive now ... O.O

fuck, and she has ANOTHER attack with an offhand weapon? Fuck ... ACTION SURGE?!!! Matthew NO!!! PLEASE don't do this! Silvery Barbs from Laudna ... which fails? Shit! Fuck ... and now he's OUT!!! She keeps hitting him, 2 IMMEDIATE Death Saves ... argh ...

Fuyck ... she just straight MURDERED him ... LAST WORDS? What the fuck?

Sweet fuck ... CHETNEY'S FUCKING DEAD?!!! Are you serious, Matt?

Now she's going after Fearne? FUCK!!! No ... and now SHE'S on the ground too ... fuck!

Ashton pops up out of the ground RIGHT IN FRONT of Fearne to block the coming attack ... he swings at her with the hammer ... "Gosh, you got a punchable fucking face!" 23 points of damage and he knocks her back HARD ... Density Well? OKay ... he batters a nearby platform and knockd it RIGHT ONTO HER ... YES!!! She sort of dodges so it's just a glancing hit ... he's monochrome now ...

Otohan rushes Imogen ...

Fearne is FURIOUS about Chetney as she flames on like the Human Torch! Nice! Oh, nice fiery Fearne mini, Matt! O.O She comes in right behind the bitch ...

Oh, so Otohan's like doing MONK SHIT? Fuck ...

FCG goes to Chetney's corpse and casts Revivify at 7th Level ... please ... please please PLEASE let this work ... come on, Changebringer! Come thorugh in clutch ... please ... YES!!! THE WOLFMAN IS ALIVE AGAIN!!! Thank fuck ...

Caviar! Attack! Kill this bitch, you wonderful Hellhoud! 19 MISSES? Seriously? Fuck ...

Otohan attacks Imogen ... 14 points of Force damage ... she gets knocked BACK but not down, at least ...

Imogen Telkinetically grabs the backpack and tries to tear it right off her ... oh wow ... and it WORKS!!! Oh yes! Let's go! She pounds it into the ceiling and smashes it to fuck! BEAUTIFUL!!! She grabs her hand and casdts Shocking Grasp ... go go go ... 14 points of damage! Yes!

Orym Misty Steps to her and pulls a Bat & Switch with Imogen, then takes a swing ... NAT20!!! YEAH!!! 23 points of slashing damage! Then 14 points! A Crit! 28 points! VENGEANCE!!! YES!!! Go wee man!

Laudna drops a 5th Level Blight on the bitch ... oh fuck, Legendary RESISTANCE? Damn it ... whoa ... 51 damage? Even halved that is SWEET ... Eldritch Blast! Yeah! Hit! Hit! And another hit! SWEET!!! 13 damage, then 15, then another 15! YEAH!!!

Now Otohan goes for Imogen again? Oh for fuck's sake ... thankfully she fails miserably ... second hits though ... ouch ... Orym to the rescue! Nice defence! And Silvery Barbs from Laudna! Yes ...

She keeps going for Imogen ... she is just POURING the hurt on ... and now she's going for Orym? Hmmm ...

Three way attack of opportunity? Fearne CRITS IT!!! Nice! 16 damage! Yeah ... Orym gbets another 22 on her ...

Now she goes for Laudna ... just hits her Mirror instead ... and the second ... and the third ... but then gets her with a CRIT!!! Oof ... 14 slashing and 12 Force damage ... ow ... and she's knocked down ...

Chetney shakes off the rust ... as he flanks he Misty Steps to Imogen and pours a healt potion into her for 12 points back, then slopes back away to safety ...

Ashton powers up as close as he can to Otohan, then holds until she gets into range ...

Otohan uses anothe Legendary Action to attack Laudna ... 10 points of slahsing damage and 18 of Force ... ow ...

Fearne casts 6th Level Blight on her ... gah, only half? 39, down to 18 ... fuck's sake ... it's STARTING to take a toll, but still ...

She's going for Laudna AGAIN?!!! Fuck ...

FCG rolls towards Orym, then pulls a mass Cure Wounds on everyone. ALL OF THEM get 23 points back except himself ...

Caviar attacks again and it's another miss ... crap!

Imogen gets up AGAIN and hurls a Psychic Lance at her ... a Nat20 on her save? Are you FUCKING KIDDING? Argh ... 30 points halved to 15 ... nuts ... so so tries to Telekinetically Push her towards Ashton ... but it fails ... crap ...

Orym tries to jump on top of her and slash down into her ... it hits! Yeah! 9 points, then a Crit ... 18! Third misses, though ... then he backs off to give Ashton room to attack ... she gets an attack of opportunity ... OUCH!!! 16 slashing and 10 Force damage ... shit ...

Why does she KEEP attacking Laudna?

Destroy this bitch, Laudna! HUnger of the Shadow Shard? Oh sweet ... wait ... WHAT? That doesn't work? COME ON, Matthew! Argh ... so she Quickens a 5th Level Hunger ... which HITS ... 48 damage on this bitch! Yeah ...

Oh, she's FLARING? Fuck ... Exultant's Fury? Double fuck ...

But now she's been pulled into Ashton's Gravity Well and he attacks ... 23 plus 2 of fire damage! POW!!!

But now it's HER turn ... she goes for Ashton ... and hits him ... ow ... twice ... AND ANOTHER? Fucking hell ... I can't believe he's still up ... wait, he has Erratic Defence? Okay ... so he slams her right into the wall! Nice ...

She retreats ... and attack Imogen while she does it? Fuck ... Imogens's knocked down ... AND she gets an Action Surge? What? FCG takes half of the damage, BARELY saving her from going out right there ... second hit takes her out, though ... FUCK!!! Now she's going for Chetney instead ...

FUCK ME, CHetney's out AGAIN?!!! Un-fucking-FAIR!!!

Now she's going for FCG ...

Top of the round ... come on Ashton ... he charges her flat out while charging up ... Nat20 on the first hit! Yes! Chaos Burst ... 64 points of damage in a single hit? Wow ... how is she STILL UP?

Otohan goes for FCG ...

Fearne pulls Scorching Rays on her ... fuck ... that doesn't work out HALF as well as we'd expect ... wait, she's FIRE RESISTANT? FUCK!!!

She attacks Letters ... and he's OUT!!! Fuck! Death save ... 19 ... oh thank fuck ...

Wow ... Caviar is just COMPLETELY BALLS on this fight, isn't he?

Imogen Crits her Death Save ... SHE'S AWAKE again! Oh thank fuck ...

Orym picks himself up and draws Seedling, using it to pull himself to Ashton, bouncing off him to attack her ... first attack misses ... second hits ... 12 slashing damage ... next hits ... eight damage ...

Laudna casts Wither & Bloom at 3rd Level to get FCG up again ... spends a sorcery point to quicken qnd pours 12 Necrotic damage points into Otohan ... quckens again, pours an Eldritch Blast into her ... two hits one miss ... 16 damage altogether, halved to 8 ... oof ...

Otohan goes for Orym ... fuck, she is just KILLING It tonight and I hate it ... Orym is BARELY UP right now ... wait ... where the fuck ... she just DRANK A SUPERIOR HEALING POTION?!!! Son of a bitch! 66 POINTS BACK?!!! Fucking hell ...

Chetney succeeds his second Death save ...

Legendary attack on Fearne ... gods fucking DAMN IT ...

Ashton attacks ... first hit is a CRIT!!! 46 points of damage! Yeah ... next hit is a miss? Fuck ... what, is that ALL he can do? Shit ...

She hits him right back ... FUCK!!!

Fearne casts Aura of Life ... it helps, i guess ... zand there's NOTHING ELSE she can do ... O.O

Otohan hits HER ... nasty hit ... but she's got Armour of Agathys, so she burns her right back ... but Aura of Life is GONE ... fuck ... as if she NEVER cast it ...

FCG flips his coin and asks "Run or fight?" Hmmmm ... it lands on its side? Interesting ... so he casts a mass Cure Wounds ... 23 points back to everybody but Fearne ... and now his mood has turned RED?!!! Fucking hell ... so he's gone berserk again ...

Caviar tanks YET ANOTHER FUCKING ATTACK ... oh my GODS why is the Hellhound even OUT?

Imogen casts Sending to her mother ... REALLY?!!! Fucking hell ... and she's COMING?!!! Wow ... mothering instinct is STRONG. Otherwise there is NOTHING she can do right now ... so she's just gonna continue to play dead? Nuts ...

Orym is in shitty condition but pushes through ... makes an attack, small hit ... he's barely hanging in on this fight ... fuck ... so he downs a potion on the bonus action? Okay ...

Laudna casts Phantasmal Force to make Otohan see Liliana coming in to FUCK HER UP?!!! Wow ... and the bitch RESISTS IT ... shit ... that was almost so cool ... so she just Eldritch Blasts her instead ... a hit and a Crit ... 7 on the hit ... she Empowers the Crit ... 11 altogether ... not spectacular but it chips away at her ...

She attacks Orym ... and he's DOWN ... FUCK!!! Next on Fearne ... Shield protects her! Yes! So she goes for Ashton instead ... now an Action Surge on him too? Fucking hell ... and he's ALMOST down except that he's RAGING so he keeps 1 hit point ... fuck ... but her next takes HIM down too ... FUCKING HELL!!!

She attacks Imogen while she's down ... Deception Check? OMG ... barely makes it through ...

Is there ANYTHING Chetney can do? He pulls out Turmoil and casts Shatter ... 19 points of Thunder damage ... and that's all he wrote ... fuck ...

Now she attacks FCG ...

Fearne cuts her off and inflicts 48 points of damage on her ...

She attacks FCG again ... he is BARELY alive at this point and completely insane right now ...

FCG casts Guiding Bolt ... on HIMSELF?!!! Fucking hell ... what the fuck is he DOING? He's self-destructing? What the hell, Sam? Oh, this sounds SO BAD ... is this genuinely going to DESTROY him if he does this?

Oh my gods he is genuinely making a fucking MEAL out of this self-sacrifice ...

Fuck me ... is Matt CRYING? Wow ... whoa ... EVERYBODY IS LENDING HIM DICE to do this ... O.O ... what the epic FUCK, Sam? Oh my fuck that is A LOT of rolls ...

79 damage ...

Sam's description of FCG's death is BEAUTIFUL in the most heartbreaking way possible ... his eyes go white again? Oh my fucking gods ...

Otohan is RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ... holy fuck, she is DEAD ... and so is Letters ... oh my fucking gods I don't believe it ... what the fuck, Samuel?

Holy shit, the whole table is just IN SHOCK right now ...

Just like the rest of the party ... slowly they start to pick themselves and each other up ... those who are down are nursedc back enough to get them on their feet ...

IS THERE anything left of FCG? Ashton finds the coin ... Chetney collects Otohan's backpack ...

They throw what's left of Otohan in the Hole.

Ashton POUNDS an exit into the wall with his fists. They're on the surface again ... and here comes Liliana ... she can already tell they just lost someone ...

So is she with THEM now?

That's it for the night ...

Fuck ... we're all exhausted and completely devastated and SO FUCKING SAD ... oh my gods ... seriously though, NOW what?

#critical role #crit role campaign 3 #crit role spoilers #campaign 3 spoilers #campaign 3 episode 91 #matt mercer #marisha ray #laudna #travis willingham #chetney pock o'pea #laura bailey #imogen temult #liam o'brien #orym of the air ashari #ashley johnson #fearne calloway #taliesin jaffe #ashton greymoore #sam riegel #fresh cut grass