*clown music starts playing*
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Apollo, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Artemis, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Hermes: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Artemis: playing systemic oppression
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me and who
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Classics tumblr should try starting posts with invocations to the muses.
"To the goddess I call, of memes she sings
Make light of the epics, those ancient things
Give cause to jeer Atreus' son
Within the tags, of his name make a pun"
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... sorry, i had to
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Someone: Greek mythology is boring.
Greek mythology:
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Zeus: Hermes, open up!!
Hermes: i have daddy issues
Zeus: i meant the door, you bastard!
Hera: shh, no, let him speak
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Iliad chickens continued (from here: https://www.tumblr.com/greekmythcomix/722173151614844928/to-explain-my-chicken-obsession-me-im)
11) Lay-jax Tel-capon and Lay-jax Fowl-eus (Ajax Telamon and Ajax Oileus)
12) Ares. He's just not funny.
13) The Death of Sar-peck-don (Sarpedon) (With apologies to Euphronios)
It is very likely there will be more of this ridiculousness.
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<Hermes as a lawyer>
𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗲𝘀: Your honor, you weren't there at the scene so shut the fuck up.
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what if the odyssey read like doctor seuss
like.
Tell me O Muse!
Of a many-deviced man
who wandered full many ways,
and liked green eggs and ham.
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Patroclus: Something is seriously wrong with you.
Achilles: Of course, people in my line of work aren’t exactly known for being well adjusted.
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This is how the last part of the oresteia goes right
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Apollo: I think I'm falling for you.
Daphne: Then get up.
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I'm sorry but I must inflict this thought upon you.
Memes are Homeric parallels. "as when the man turns his head from his girlfriend to see a more beautiful girl, so too did swift footed Achilles turn from a long life to an eternal glory."
I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.
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I had a triggering week so I got silly and it’s everyone’s problem.
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Hermes: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.
Dionysus: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!
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