[at the watchtower]
Superman: [just arrived to an emergency meeting] what’s going on?
Green Lantern: We don’t know. There’s been a series of sudden attacks all over the world [points at a map].
Flash: [points at an uninhibited piece of land in the Middle East] there was also a more destructive attack on a couple of buildings here. It looks like some sort of base, we suspect military, that was completely blown up and then flooded somehow. The real worry is the tech used in the attacks, though. It’s way beyond anything that’s on the market.
Superman: [peering at the map] oh that’s just Bruce
Green Arrow: wait, the Bat is doing this?
Superman: [nods] I assume those are League of Shadows’ bases. Kon said the bats were on a rampage because Ra’s said something distressing to Tim.
Flash: ...and the explosion?
Superman: probably Tim, Jason, and Damian.
Green Arrow: why does Damian care if Tim is distressed?
Oracle: [through the speakers] they just like starting shit
Spoiler: [arriving at the smoking ruins of Ra’s home base] I cannot believe you guys decided to start without me
Nightwing: [trying to pull a rabid Robin away from a league member] It was less of a decision and more of a race
Spoiler: [arms crossed] you lot never invite me on family outings
Nightwing: [flabbergasted] what family outings?
Spoiler: like the time you went on vacation to the Grand Canyon
Nightwing: you mean when Batman was moping about being a bad father and dragged us along on the hike from hell? Hood almost killed all of us for real that time
[there’s an explosion nearby, followed closely by the sound of gunshots and Red Hood cackling maniacally]
Steph: [pauses to look around] where’s Red Robin?
Red Hood: [from the other side of a hill] Yes!! Now try the flamethrower!
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At the Watchtower
Kon: So then ma says "well you're not coming back into this house until you've caught every single one of them pigs"-
Tim: [clutching his coffee-mug and listening intently] without powers?
Kon: Of course! So there I am, covered in mud, and all I want is to eat some pie and go to bed-
Tim: [nodding enthusiastically while Kon continues his story]
Clark: [looks on from a distance]
Jon: [a few seats away] Did I tell you we got a new cow on the farm?
Damian: [with interest] what did you name her?
Jon: We haven't decided yet, Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but pa and I-
Damian: [earnestly interested]
Clark: [side eyes Bruce who's sitting next to him going through reports]
Clark: Hey Bruce?
Clark: did I tell you we got a new cow at the farm?
Bruce: [hums noncommitally and continues reading]
Clark: [strained] Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but I think we should call her Susie and Jon-
Bruce: [sighs exasperatedly]
Clark: [rips the reports away from Bruce with super speed]
Bruce: What the hell?
Clark: You're such a bad friend!
Clark: why am I stuck with you when my children's bat friends are so nice?!
Clark: Look at Tim! He's so nice! Why can't you be like that?!
Bruce: You want me to be like Tim?
Clark: Or Damian!
Bruce: [rubbing his temples] You want me to be like Damian?
Clark: I want you to listen when I talk!
Bruce: you were talking about cows
Clark: that doesn't matter!
Bruce: It matters a little
Clark: Cows are interesting!
Bruce: Cows are the opposite of interesting.
Clark: Well, I'M interesting
Clark: Bruce, tell me I'm interesting.
Bruce: [gets up and starts walking away]
Clark: [shouts after him] Bruce! Tell me I'm interesting!
Bruce: [walks faster]
-a week later-
Wonder Woman: Are Batman and Superman having a fight?
Flash: yeah I think so. I don't know what about though
Martian Mindhunter: I believe Batman insulted Superman's cow
Wonder Woman: I see.
Black Canary: Sometimes I wake up at night and think about the fact that they are two of the most important members of an organization that protects the world from certain annihilation and then I can't go back to sleep
Green Lantern: [feet propped on the table, throwing almonds into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth] yeah it freaks me out too
Black Canary: [glances at Green Lantern] never leave us, Diana.
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