#greg heffley

[animentality]

#twitter #greg heffley #diary of a wimpy kid #rowley jefferson

[lexiswriter]

i feel like the most unrealistic thing about diary of a wimpy kid is how nobody had a fat crush on rodrick.

#diary of a wimpy kid #rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #doawk rodrick #emo boy #emo boi #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #rodrick x reader #rodrick smut #rodrick fanfic #rodrick imagines #doawk #greg heffley #drabbles #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick #rodrick drabbles #rodrick heffley drabbles

[itsmarsss]

cool. [Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

(from the vault)

You start working as a babysitter for the Heffleys, but a certain someone seems to be bugging his parents to go out more often. Why?

Words: 6,164

Warnings: like one slight sexual/porn innuendo

[. . .]

"What do you mean someone to watch me?” Greg yelled, exhasperated.

Rodrick laughed out loud at the whole situation. “Wait is little Greg here getting a babysitter?”

“Yes, and she starts tomorrow night," their mom replied, matter-of-factly.

“Mom, I’m in seventh grade! I don’t need a babysitter!”

“We’d believe it if the last time we left the two of you alone you hadn’t directly disobeyed the only thing we told you not to do and thrown a party while we were gone," their dad explained.

“Wait. Mom. So I don’t have to watch him? Like ever again?”

“No but you should be ashamed of the reason why-”

“Hell yeah!”

“Rodrick-” He was already up the stairs on the way to his room. She sighed. 

“Mom you can’t do this to me. Do you know how bad it'll be if the guys in my grade find out you got me a babysitter?”

“They’re not gonna find out, sweetie.” She patted his head.

“And it’s not negotiable.”

“What your dad said.”

"Dad!”

“I’m sorry, kid! But if it makes you feel better, since Rodrick will be here and we’re getting a babysitter because we can’t leave the two of you alone, she’s teeechnically his babysitter too, right?”

“It doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I tried," he shrugged.

“Where are you two even going tomorrow?”

“We’re having dinner! " Susan exclaimed, excited to talk about it. "Alone, finally, because-”

“Wait couldn't she technically be Manny’s babysitter then?”

“Thank you for caring so much about what I had to say, son.” She sighed once again. “She’s not Manny’s babysitter because Manny’s gonna stay with your grandma.”

Greg huffed and made a point to be extremely loud when stumping upstairs to his room, immediately getting cornered by Rodrick. 

“So… a babysitter, huh? And I thought your seventh grade couldn’t get any worse.”

“D´you think it’ll be that bad?”

“Dude they probably got you an old lady who smells like a museum whos gonna make you eat soup at like five PM and sleep at seven.”

Greg widened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, worried at the thought of what his brother was making him imagine. “You think?”

“Yup. And I’m not even talking about the total humiliation it's gonna be if someone your age finds out.”

“Crap.”

“Good luck with that.” Rodrick was obviously enjoying the mere thought of the torture that was going to follow.

. . .

“A babysitter?” Rowley asked, rather loudly. Greg quickly put his hand over his best friend's mouth. 

“Dude! Can you be quiet?”

“Hmmph!” Rowley tried to protest.

Greg released his hand from over his mouth. “Sorry.”

“Why do I need to be quiet?”

“Because I don’t want anybody to know!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, Rowley!”

Rowley just shrugged. “I wouldn’t be embarrassed. A babysitter sounds fun! Maybe she’ll read you bedtime stories! And play board games with you!”

Greg just looked at him incredulously. “Just don’t say anything about this to anyone., okay?"

Rowley suddenly started to look really nervous. “You know I can’t lie…”

“It’s not lying! It’s just not mentioning it! No one’s gonna ask about it.”

“Okay. Fine.” He didn't seem that sure about it, but Greg knew he'd try his best.

. . .

You took in a sharp breath before knocking on the front door. It took no time for it to be sprung open, and you were greeted by a smiling Mrs. Heffley. You retributed the smile. 

“Hi Mrs. Heffley!”

“Hey, sweetie! How are you?” She asked as she ushered you into the house, startling you when she closed the door behind you as you walked in. 

“I’m alright! How about you guys? Your dress looks so pretty!”

“Oh my God, thank you! You know it’s been ages since I’ve worn a pretty dress to go out, you can’t trust three kids with a pretty dress, they're always gonna ruin it.”

“Oh God that must be hell,” you laughed along with her. “Where are you guys headed tonight?”

“Looking forward to having dinner in peace,” she laughed again. “Manny!” she yelled suddenly, startling you yet again.

A little boy walked in in his diapers, holding his pants up with both hands. 

“Manny can you just please put on your pants?” Mr. Heffley followed the kid around, frustratedly asking him for what you assumed must have been at leat a fourth time to put his pants on, judging by the tone in his voice and the sigh that accompanied it.

“No!”

“Manny!” Ms. Heffley yelled yet again. The kid did what he was supposed to.

“Um I didn’t- is Manny gonna be staying with me tonight?”

“No! No,” she laughed. “Don’t worry, we’re taking him to my mother’s house.”

“Oh, right. Okay.” You tried to let out how relieved you were. Little kids were a whole other level of difficult, specially at Manny's age.

“Darling are you ready?” Susan asked her husband.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Greg!” she yelled again.

“What?” The boy yelled back from his room upstairs. 

“Y/n’s here! Come say hi!”

“Who’s y/n?”

“Your babysitter!”

He came downstairs. Very slowly. “Mom I already-” He stopped.  “You’re not an old lady!"

“Gregory! We don't say that to people! What is that about?"

“I’m sorry! I meant- Rodrick told me my babysitter was gonna be an old lady who smelled like a museum."

"Of course he did," Mr. Heffley said, under his breath.

You pretended to smell yourself. “I think I might smell more like an art gallery maybe,” you joked.

“I’m so sorry about this."

“It’s fine, Mrs. Heffley! Don’t worry about it. Now you two go have some fun, alright? Come on."

“Yeah! Okay. Right. There’s money on the table, you can order whatever you want for dinner the kids will eat whatever. Just grab the money before Rodrick comes downstairs or he's gonna pocket it. If you need anything you can call, okay? Really, anything.”

“Don’t worry about it! I promise I’ll call if anything happens! But I think we’re just gonna stay and eat some food and watch some movies, right Greg?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Please be nice, Greg. Oh and if Rodrick bothers you tell him I said he’ll be grounded if I hear he's not letting you work alright?"

“Sure thing! Thank you. Now go!” You joked, pretending to send them off.

. . .

You and Greg had both sat down on the couch in the living room.

“So. You’re not an old lady.”

“Nope.”

“Are you in high school?”

“Yes I am.”

“What grade are you in?"

“I’m a senior!”

“Oh. Rodrick’s a senior too.”

“Cool! I don’t think I’ve seen him around though.”

“Lucky.”

“Why’s that?”

“He makes my life hell!”

“Well don’t you make his life hell at least a tiny little bit?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

“That’s just your job.”

“Trust me no girls like him.”

“Whatever, Heffley. So what do you wanna do?”

“Can we play video games?”

“Depends on what you have.”

“Apocalypse of The Damned?”

“I have never heard of that in my entire life.”

“You’re gonna like it I swear!”

“Alright. But you have to bring me the money your mom left on the table, I’m gonna order us some pizza.”

“Deal!” He ran out to the kitchen, getting back with the money in no time.

. . .

“Hey I was thinking. Can my friend sleep over?” Greg asked, obviously having been preparing himself to do so for the past few minutes, while furiously hitting buttons on his controller as you scrolled through your phone, having gotten tired of playing at that point. 

“Um. Is your friend gonna give me any trouble?”

“No! You can- you can trust us.”

“Is he annoying?”

He seemed to take his time to think of an answer. “A little. But he’s pretty cool.”

“Fine, I’ll ask your mom.”

You clicked on Mrs. Heffley’s contact name. 

hi mrs heffley

how's the date going? im sorry to interrupt

You didn't even have the time to finish writing the next text before she was calling you. You picked it up.

“Is everything okay?” Susan asked, clearly worried.

“Oh, yes. Everything’s fine, you don't have to worry! I’m so sorry to interrupt your date, Greg wanted a friend to stay over and I just wanted to see if that’s okay with you.”

“Is it Rowley?”

“Sorry?”

“The friend, is it Rowley?”

“Is it Rowley?” You asked Greg, leaning away from the phone, to which he just nodded his head yes. “Yeah, Rowley.”

“Okay, of course he can! And don’t worry, I’ll pay you extra for it.”

“Oh, that’s really nice, thank you. Now you should go back to your date, I'm so sorry to bother.”

“No worries! Are you sure everything’s fine?”

“Yes! We ordered pizza and we’re playing video games right now. Everything under control.”

“And Rodrick?”

“Uh, I haven’t really seen him honestly. He definitely hasn’t left his room though.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Bye!” You hung up.

“So?”

“Yeah, call your friend. Ask him if he has any board games we can play!”

Greg did as you said, and, in about half an hour, a little boy with a yellow shirt with a dog on it stood at the door.

“Are you Greg’s babysitter?’

“Uh yeah, I am.”

“Cool!" He looked at Greg behind you. "You told me she was old!”

“Rowley!”

“What? You did!”

You laughed at the interaction and let them do their thing, only asking them to stay by the living room so you could keep an eye on them. You sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone again as you knew the pizza should be about to get there.

The doorbell rang in no time. You stood up to pay for it, grabbing the large-size pizza and tipping the delivery guy, who didn’t look very friendly at all. You brought it in. “Hey Greg can you go call your brother?”

“Yeah!”

He ran up the stairs, and you set the box down on the dining table, Rowley sitting down. Greg came back.

“He told me to bring it to him.”

“Why?"

"He just doesn't wanna come downstairs."

"You don't have to do it.”

“What? He’s gonna beat me up for it!”

“Not with me here. I got you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Chill out.”

. . .

“Hey you little asshole? I told you to bring my pizza!” A voice exclaimed from the second floor, and Greg muffled a quiet ‘shit’.

“Hey don’t say that!” You scolded Greg for swearing as a reflex.

“Hey? Are you not listening?” Rodrick was clearly close to the kitchen now. He walked through the door. “I said get me so-” he stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you.

“Who’s this?” He asked the boys.

“That’s Y/N,” Rowley said, through gulps.

"And I'm right here you know? You could just ask me who I am."

“Well who are you? And what are you doing… here?” He leaned over the wall, in a poor attempt to look cool. You had to fight yourself tas not to laugh uncontrollably at the sight.

“Well I seem to be your babysitter for the night.”

“What?”

“Did you also expect an old lady? You know, that's a really common and really hurtful babysitter stereotype, you really should think about the things you say now.”

“Wha- huh- yeah- I’ll just-” He let out a weird laugh, and walked up to the table, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and stuffing it into his mouth, seemingly to shut himself up.

“Well we’re gonna watch a movie after we’re done eating. You wanna join?”

“Oh he’s not gonna-” Greg started talking, but Rodrick quickly interrupted him, almost choking on his food as he did so.

“Yeah! Yeah! What are we uh- what are we watching?”

“Zathura.”

“What the fuck is Zathura?”

“Don’t swear in front of them!”

“Sorry.”

Greg looked at Rowley like Rodrick had just gone insane. Did he just apologize?

You laughed. “I’m kidding. You guys don’t mind, do you?”

They both slowly nodded their head no. 

“Cool. As long as you don’t repeat it in front of your parents, alright? Don’t wanna get me in trouble.”

“We’re not five!"

“Well you do look like it,” Rodrick commented, and Greg stuck his tongue out at him.

. . .

“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Rodrick commented, pointing at the screen.

“It’s not supposed to! It’s a kids movie about a magical board game,” you pointed out.

“Let me guess, did Rowley pick this one?”

“For your information, I did. You got a problem?”

“No.”

Rowley had, in fact, picked this one.

Greg and Rowley shared a look again. This was getting bizzarre.

The movie was over in about half an hour, and it was time for you to put Greg to sleep.

“But it’s so early!” The boy complained, and you laughed.

“I know, but you don’t have to sleep now, you just gotta go to bed! I can’t, like, force you to sleep.”

He let out an annoyed groan before agreeing and pulling Rowley with him by the wrist. “Fine.”

“I’ll be upstairs in a few!” You yelled out, and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes from dinner. It wasn’t really something Mrs. Heffley had explicitly asked you to do, but you had those extra minutes and wanted to get on her good side. 

What you didn’t expect was to come in to find Rodrick still standing there, startling himself when you walked in.

“Uh hey!” His voice was high-pitched, clearly not expecting to see you there so soon.

“Hey.” You wordlessly walked to the sink, starting with the dishes. And then he offered to help you, which didn’t fit the image you had of him at all.

“What?”

“I said do you want some help? I can dry them.”

“Uh sure. Thanks.”

He just nodded, grabbing a cloth. “So did you put them to sleep yet?”

“Yeah they’re supposed to call me when they’re ready. Then I’m pretty much done.”

“Are you leaving like right after?” Was he… disappointed?

“Well not right after, your mom still has to pay me.”

“Right. She paying you extra for the dishes?”

“No,” you laughed, “just wanna score some points. This job’s good money, you know? But don’t tell her I said that.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You nodded, a little awkwardly. “So what’s the deal with the van?”

“What?”

“The huge white van parked right outside? I assume it’s not your mom’s.”

“Yeah.”

“Couldn’t you have picked a better color?”

“What?”

“You know something other than the classic creepy white van?”

He actually laughed. “I don’t think a creep would have ‘löded diper’ written on the door.”

“Maybe you’re just trying not to look too suspicious.”

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?” Was he… flirting? Well, that was… an attempt.

“What, are you inviting me? You know, I was taught not to get into creepy white vans with strangers.”

“We’re not strangers!” He held his hand up for you to shake, which you did. “I’m Rodrick.”

“Y/N.”

“So. Ho'wd you end up babysitting Greg out of all people?”

“I mean, your dad posted something about it in the newspaper and my mom told me about it. Some extra money, you know?”

“And you’re sure it’s worth it? I mean he’s a big pain in the ass.”

“Aren’t all brothers?”

“I’m not.”

“Right. You’re like a dictator to him!”

“No I’m not!”

“He was scared you were gonna beat him up if he didn’t bring you pizza.”

“He’s dumb. I wasn’t gonna beat him up that badly.”

You laughed. “Well, we’re done. Thank you for the help. You can go now if you wanna.”

“You sound like a mom.”

“Oh my god! Stop trying to make me sound old! I'm some granny cinderella who turns into an old lady who smells like a museum when midnight strikes," you teased him, and he scrunched up his nose in embarrassment.

"Right. He told you about that.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry. To be fair, I never had a babysitter, you know? I just thought they were all old and boring.”

“Do you think I’m old and boring?” You joked.

He snorted. “No, you’re pretty.” His eyes widened, realizing what he’d just said. Way to go. “Not in that- well not that you’re not pretty, you are, but you know what I mean. You’re uh- you’re pretty compared to what I- expected?"

It was stupid, but you could feel yourself blush a little. Why was it that you always fell for the most absolute idiots? “So I’m pretty… compared to an old woman.”

“I think you should let me start over.”

“But-”

“Y/N!” You heard Greg yell from upstairs, and you left the kitchen to go see him, going up the stairs and entering his room.

“Okay, we ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes!”

“Both of you?”

“Yup.”

“Okay I’ll believe you. But your mom told me you’re on thin ice.”

Greg rolled his eyes and both boys got on the bed. 

“Okay, goodnight. If you don’t sleep right away don’t make too much noise.”

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

“Why, did you actually like me?”

“Just a little.”

You smiled. “Well no. But I think I might next week.”

“Cool! ‘Night, Y/N!” 

“‘Night!”. You closed the door behind you, and walked downstairs to wait for Mrs. and Mr. Heffley to return so you could go home. 

You stopped on the hallway to send your mom a quick text saying you were fine and should be leaving in a few before making your way to the living room.

To your surprise, Rodrick hadn’t gotten back to his room. Instead, he was laying on the couch, his entire body draped over it as he scrolled through his phone. He sat right up when he saw you. “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey. You not have anything to do?”

“I’m offended. But no I don’t.”

You laugh, sitting down beside him. “Okay. Well your parents must be on their way, so. Don’t have much to do either.”

“You wanna watch something?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well a real movie.”

“Zathura’s a real movie! I like it!”

“You actually do?”

“Yes!”

“Whatever. Well an adult movie I mean.”

“Uh, an adult movie?”

“No! Not that kind!” He was blushing furiously and you found it hilarious. 

“Yeah whatever. What do you have?”

You ended up settling on a Marvel movie, but you barely had the time to start it before the doorbell rang, and you had to go get the door.

“Hey Y/N! I’m sorry we took so long, we had to go get Manny.”

“That’s fine! Rodrick and I were just about to watch a movie!”

“Rodrick came downstairs?” Mr. Heffley sounded genuinely surprised.

“Well you can finish it if you want!”

“Oh, no, I really should get going. We can finish it another time.”

“Oh well. Okay.” She put Manny down and grabbed her wallet, handing you your money. “Here, with the extra from Rowley. Hope they didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“Oh they were so cool! I was surprised.”

“Oh that’s great to hear! If they haven’t traumatized you too much we’d love to have you sit them again.”

“Oh definitely! Just give me a call.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Are you driving home?”

“Oh, no, I’m actually walking. I thought we’d be done a little earlier.”

“Oh that’s not good, we can take you-”

“I can take her!” Rodrick yelled, almost falling off of the couch in his eagerness. He stood up, walking toward you. His dad looked like he was short-circuiting.

“Are you sure?” His mom asked.

“Yeah! Come on, let’s go.” He walked quickly past the front door and into the white van.

“Sure. Bye Mrs. Heffley!”

“Bye sweetie! Tell me if he bothers you too much!”

You walked towards the van, getting in on the passenger’s seat. He turned the engine on in silence. There was an awkward atmosphere surrounding you, and you didn’t know why.

You cleared your throat. “So uh. Thanks for driving me.”

“Yeah it’s chill. Where do I turn?”

“Oh let me just- give me your phone.”

“What?”

“So I can put the address on the GPS?”

“Oh. Sure.” He handed it to you after unlocking it, and you did as you said. 

“Turn left in 200 feet,” the disembodied voice said, and he did.

“You don’t have to uh- do these things for me. You know, drive me home, help me with the dishes. It’s nice, but I’m not gonna tell on you if you don’t.”

“I know. I uh. I want to.”

“You wanna do the dishes?”

“I wanna help you.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Fine.”

You got home pretty quickly, as you didn’t live a long way from the Heffley residence, and got out of the car. 

“Thank you for driving me! Goodnight.”

“Yeah!” Rodrick yelled back, and waited for you to get in to drive off. There was a smile on your lips you couldn’t shake off, and you felt stupid for it. Was the weird wannabe rock band kid really having an effect on you?

. . .

On wednesday, you got a call from Ms. Heffley again. And then on friday, and saturday, and sunday. This could not be normal, right? But it was money, so you obviously wouldn’t refuse it. So you pulled up to the Heffley residence for the fifth time on sunday, knocking on the door as usual.

Greg opened it this time, greeting you with a confused expression. “You’re here again?”

“Miss me, kid?”

“Are they going out again?”

“Apparently.”

“Mom, Y/N’s here!”

“Oh hey sweetie! Thank you for coming!”

“No problem! Where are you off to today?”

“Well we’re going bowling. Rodrick found us these pamphlets at the mall and wouldn’t stop bugging us about trying it out, so we decided to give it a go.”

“Oh he did?” That was strange.

“And you seem to have things so under control! I can’t believe we’ve been going out so much!”

“Well I’m happy to hear it. When will you be back?”

“I’d say eleven if that’s not too late for you?”

“Oh definitely not! As long as Rodrick can drive me.”

“Oh that won’t be a problem. You ready, darling?” She asked her husband, who walked by holding Manny in one arm and a huge bag in the other. 

“Yeah.”

"Everything there?” Susan asked him, referring to the bag. She turned back to you. “Manny’s staying over at my mom’s for the first time today. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Yeah!" You exclaimed, not really getting all the excitement about it. You supposed you would if you were his mom. Right now you were just happy you didn’t have to watch over him too. Little kids were always more difficult. 

“Okay bye everyone!”

Greg and Rodrick were right behind you the moment you closed the door.

“Can we make pasta?’ Greg asked, and damn, the little dude must have had some sugar because he looked like he’d downed like three energy drinks at once.

“Well yeah. I make a killer pasta. Is Rowley coming today?”

“Yeah!”

“Cool.”

“Do you want help with the food?” Rodrick finally spoke up, and Greg looked at him like he was speaking Greek.

“Sure.”

“Are you okay?’ Greg couldn’t contain himself from asking him.

“What do you mean, assface?”

“Did you just offer to help with the food?”

“Yeah?”

“Who are you?”

“Oh shut it, dickhead.” You didn’t miss the nervous glance he gave you, clearly signaling something about you to Greg. And then Greg seemed to figure something out, his eyes going wide.

“Oh! Is that why you-” Rodrick looked alarmed, putting his hand against Greg’s mouth to keep him from talking, but he managed to get himself free. “Is that why you’ve been trying to get mom and dad to go out all week?”

“Hah. Don’t know what he’s talking about, pssht.” Rodrick laughed nervously.

“Uh sure. Well I’m already hungry so I’m thinking early dinner and then we can make dessert?”

“Yes!” Greg yelled.

“Okay but if we’re making the food you gotta set the table. Deal?” 

Greg groaned in annoyance, but agreed. “Fine.” He went on his way, and you and Rodrick made your own way to the kitchen.

“So,” you started, as you grabbed the pasta from the cabinet. “You’ve been trying to get your parents to go out all week.”

He looked everywhere but at you. “Uh, I don’t know what the kid’s on about.”

“Well, shame. Cause I was gonna thank you.”

“For what?”

“Well the more times a week I work the more money I get right?”

“Oh right. Right. So yeah you can thank me.”

“So you were setting them up to go out. Why?”

He shrugged, trying to seem cool. “Wanted to be alone.”

“You’re not alone now. You could be in your room. Or like out with your friends or whatever.”

“I didn’t anticipate that you’d actually be cool.”

“Oh you think I’m cool?”

“Yeah.” 

The water started to boil, and you threw the pasta in the pot, stirring it with a fork.

“Cool. You’re kinda cool too. You know when you’re not trying to be impressive.”

“I’m not trying to impress you!”

“I didn’t say you were trying to impress me .”

“Well I was.”

“You were.”

“Did it work?”

“Why’d you want to impress me?”

“Cause you’re cool. I wanted you to think I’m cool too.”

“Huh. Maybe I do.”

“Cool.”

“Y/N I’M DONE! I THINK ROWLEY’S HERE !” Greg’s voice came from the dining room.

“I didn’t hear the doorbell, are you sure?” You yelled back, walking past Rodrick to get the front door. Maybe you were too lost in the conversion to hear it, because the boy was standing right there when you opened it.

“Hey Y/N!” He said with a smile, greeting you with a hug, which was very on-brand for the kid. 

“Hey Rowley. You alright?”

“Yeah! I brought water balloons!”

“You did?”

“Well they’re not full of water yet so they’re just balloons but yeah.”

“Cool! You should tell Greg!”

“Will you play with us?”

“Oh I don’t know, I don’t have clothes I can get wet-”

“Well that’s not a problem!” Rodrick said, and you frowned in confusion. “You can borrow mine!”

“Oh I don-”

“C’mon, Y/N, you really gonna disappoint the boy?”

“Shut up. Fine, but you’re playing too.”

“Deal.”

“Yes!” Rowley exclaimed, before taking off, presumably to go find Greg.

“Well you wanna go up to my room?” Rodrick asked, apparently having otten some confidence from out of the blue, sporting a cocky smirk.

You laughed. “You wish. Just bring me a t-shirt.”

“Yeah. Someone’s gonna be looking like the number one Loded Diper fan out there.”

“If you bring me a white shirt I will beat you up!” You yelled, and he was already on his way upstairs. You took the past out of the pot, mixing it with the sauce you’d made, which was the easiest one you could find.

Rodrick was back as soon as you set the pot down on the table, handing you a gray shirt that , of course, had ‘loded diper’ written on it in terrible handwriting. 

“Thanks.” You draped the shirt over your shoulder and all of you ate in silence, apparently all stupidly hungry for some reason.

You were done pretty quickly, but made sure to get Greg and Rowley to promise to help with the dishes this time, since there were more.

“Okay! We’re gonna get changed!”

“Yeah me too!” You yelled back, making your way to the bathroom, changing into Rodrick’s gray shirt.

It didn’t hang as loose as you thought it would, and you laughed at the thought of Rodrick wearing a tight shirt for no reason. You supposed it was an old one he decided to turn into loded diper merch. Loded diper. What a stupid fucking name. You guessed it was fit. 

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. Rodrick. “You done? These kids are little demons, they talk so much!”

You laughed, unlocking the door and grabbing your own shirt before opening it. 

“Hello?” He looked wide-eyed, like his brain was malfunctioning, staring profusely at his shirt. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, awkwardly. “Fine. The shirt alright?”

“Yeah. A lot smaller than I expected. Does Rodrick Heffley wear crop tops?”

He shrugged, embarrassed. “Sometimes. That bad?”

“No.”

“Chicks dig the crop tops, you know.”

“Oh do they?”

“Don’t you?”

“I guess I’d have to see you in one to give an opinion.”

“Yeah that’s not happening any soon."

“Shame.”

“What?”

“I said let’s go.”

You barely had the time to walk into the front yard before Rodrick was hit on the face by a huge water balloon. You turned to see a terrified-looking Rowley at the other side. Rodrick gained his bearings again. 

“Oh you’re in, you little shit!” He seemed way too determined on winning this, but who were you to judge?

Him and Rowley occupied themselves with each other pretty much the whole time, as you did with Greg, until you got hit rather strongly in the back. You stopped what you were doing, which was aiming your next balloon at Greg, who was right in front of you, and turned around to see Rodrick laughing at you.

“Motherfucker-” you cursed yourself mentally for swearing in front of the kids, hoping they wouldn ‘t tell on you, and launched the balloon at him at full speed, it landing on his chest. 

“Hey!”

You played for about half an hour more until the sun set, and you decided it was best to get back inside. All three complained, and you laughed at the situation, because you supposed you did sort of sound like a mom when trying to convince them to get in, but they ended up listening.

“Okay what are we watching tonight?” You asked as you closed the front door behind you and dried your feet on the mat by the entrance.

“Oh can we watch a horror movie?” Greg asked.

“Nope, we know how that ends.”

“But we’ve changed!”

“It’s been less than a week!”

“People change!” Greg tried to plead, but you knew Mrs. Heffley wouldn’t like it if you caved in.

“No can do, Gregory. We can watch that Adam Sandler movie you wanted though.”

“With the little kid?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

You were halfway through a second movie when the boys decided it was time for dessert, and you still had a little while before the Heffleys came back, so you decided you’d all bake cupcakes.

They didn’t turn out as great as you wished they would, but also weren’t half bad. They were a little flat and maybe a little toasted on the top, but were otherwise pretty edible. You covered them with some frosting and ate them as you finished the movie.

It turned out when you were done the Heffleys still hadn’t come back, so you decided to put the boys to sleep then. You came back to Ridrick looking at you at the other end of the hallway. 

“Hey,” you said, not expecting him to be there.

You stood there in silence for a few moments before he cleared his throat and started talking.

“Um do you wanna hang out? ‘Till they're back?” It was funny, with him. One moment he’d be full of confidence, flirting with you at the max, but, in a second, his entire demeanor would change and he’d look unsure, insecure to ask you anything.

You were starting to wonder if he wasn’t just being a stupid hormonal teenager and if he actually, maybe, had a little bit of a crush on you. But you wouldn’t entertain those thoughts, of course. First because you could be completely misinterpreting the situations, and second because you needed the job, and you hadn’t gotten enough of a read on his mom to know if she’d be cool with that.

Still, you did have nothing else to do but scroll through your phone as you waited. “Sure.”

“Oh! Cool. Uh, my room’s right there,” he pointed to a white door by his left, and you followed him in. It actually looked pretty cool. It was sort of exactly what you expected his room to look like, except maybe a little messier, if that was possible.

To each their own, I guess. It’s not like you were the cleanest person to ever walk the Earth. You sat down on his bed, and he opted to sit down on a beanbag just in front of you.

TIt's safe to say things were a little awkward. “Uh. So. Cool room.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You studied the multiple posters he had glued to his walls. “Oh, The Cure. Cool.”

“Yeah. They’re not like super my style or anything. But they’re cool.”

“What would be your style?”

“I don’t know. Hard rock.”

“Huh. I don’t know. You just look like one of those guys who like rock but secretly listen to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber or something when they’re alone.”

“What- what I would never- I don’t-” busted. 

You laughed at him as he tried to deny it. “I think it’s cool.”

He stopped. “You do?”

“Yeah. Taylor Swift’s cool.”

“Yeah uh. Girls dig that.”

“Do you really know what girls dig or do you just make random guesses?”

“I’m well-informed.”

“Oh are you? You have a girlfriend or something?” Subtle.

He scoffed. “Pfft. Yeah.”

“Uh- huh.”

He gave in. “No, I don’t.”

“Okay”

“You're a girl. What do you dig then?”

“What a romantic way to phrase that question. I guess I don’t know. Never stopped to think of it. What do you think we dig?”

“Uh. Bad boys?”

You let out a laugh. “Yeah I guess. But it depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether they’re nice to us.”

“So you want bad boys who are actually nice.”

“Yeah.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Uh. But I can be nice.”

“Who said you’re a bad boy to begin with?”

“Um rock band? Cool eyeliner?” He motioned to himself, mockingly.

“Well who do you wanna be nice for?”

“Uh. You? Obviously.”

Your smile faltered. There was the confidence making an appearance again.

“What?”

“Uh. You know. So I can uh- practice. For other... girls?”

“Right.”

“Or maybe not.”

“Okay I ‘m lost.”

“Do you wanna go out with me? ” He blurted out at rapid speed.

Okay, sudden much? “What?”

“Uh. We could… go to the movies or something? You seem to like movies.”

“Right. But as a… date?”

“Yeah.”

You thought about it. It was just a date, it’s not like his mom would get mad about a date, right?

“Sure.”

“What?”

“I said sure.”

His eyes widened, he didn’t seem to have been expecting a positive answer. “Oh! That’s cool! That's- cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

He began standing up. “Well, do you wanna-” In that very moment, before he could finish, the doorbell rang, and you made your way past him, running downstairs and getting the front door. 

“Y/N! How are we?”

You hoped the blush on your cheeks wasn’t as visible as it felt as you talked to her. “We’re great! Greg and Rowley are already in bed, Rodrick and I have been uh. Hanging out.”

“Oh that’s nice of him!” She turned to face her husband, who, in turn, grabbed your wrist. 

“What have you done to him? Are you some sort of witch?” He asked you.

You laughed awkwardly. “Oh it’s all him! He was showing me the posters in his room, we like the same bands!”

“Oh do you uh. Like rock too?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well we’re taking too much of your time. Is Rodrick driving you home?”

Oh, right. Shit. He was.

“Yeah I uh, think so.”

With that, he walked into your view, holding up the van keys. He’d apparently put on shades, probably so his parents wouldn’t see he had eyeliner on.

“Why do you have sunglasses on?” Mr. Heffley asked him as he walked past them.

“It’s called fashion, dad!”

Mrs. Heffley handed you the money for the night, and you went on your way, getting into the van with Rodrick, who, by now, didn’t need the GPS to get to your place. Except he wasn’t driving to your place at all.

“What are you doing?”

“Wanted a slushie. That cool?”

“I guess.”

He stopped by a 7/11 and bought each of you a slushie and some chocolate bars, which you ate outside. The wind started to get harsher, and you crossed your arms around your chest for warmth. He caught on to that, taking his striped hoodie off and giving it to you. You looked up at him, confused.

“What?”

“You’re cold.”

“Yeah but you’ll be cold.”

“Rockstars don’t get cold.”

“You’re not a rockstar.”

“Not yet."

You raised an eyebrow at him, unamused.

"Just take it!” 

You did, and put it on. This one hung looser than the shirt you’d borrowed earlier. It did help. You tried your best to contain the smile that was insisting on forming on your lips. You knew it was dumb.

“Thanks,” you mumbled under your breath, and you could see him smirk, proud of himself. “You’re so cheesy. Wouldn’t take you for it.” 

“I’m not cheesy. I’m just not an asshole.”

“You kinda are.”

“Shut up!”

You ate in silence for a bit before you decided to say what was on your mind. “Hey about that date?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t… I don’t know if we should do it.”

He tried to seem chill about it, but he looked a little hurt. “Why?”

“Well it’s not that I don’t want to! I do. For… some reason,” you added, trying to lighten up the mood. “But do you think your mom would be cool with it? I mean I don’t wanna lose this job and I don’t know if she’d really like us being alone if we’re dating.”

His face lit up. “So you’re thinking about dating me?”

Oh, you’d messed up big time now, he’d never let this go. “No! That’s not what I meant!”

“I think it is.”

“Fuck off!”

“Oh we’re using big boy words now?” He grinned.

“Shut up.”

“Well. Don’t think that should be a problem. They don’t have to know.”

“What do you mean?”

“What, do you tell your parents everything? They don’t have to know we’re dating.”

“Yeah but we’re not dating.”

“Not yet.”

“Shut up!”

“They don’t have to know we’re going on a date, then. Plus, the days you work can be like little dates.”

“Yeah except there will be two children up our asses.”

“You can manage.”

“Fine, Heffley. But if I lose my job you’ll be owing me. Like literal money.”

“Deal.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

[. . .]

A/N: sometimes ur 20 pages into a diary of a wimpy kid rodrick heffley oneshot and you ask urself wtf am i doing with my life. this is the product of that. i wrote this THREE YEARS AGO WOW so i edited some of it to post it here but nothing major cause i didn't want it to lose its energy lol. btw i was in fact like. actually in high school at the time lmao. luv yall!

#diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley imagine #greg heffley #rowley jefferson #imagine #x reader

[turvi]

Yo what about just sittin on Rodrick’s lap as he discusses stuff with the band

Thanks for the request

Rodrick munched on the snacks that he stole borrowed from Greg's secret stash that he shared with his friends as they lounged on the living room couch, Evanescence playing on his tv.

His friend Adam mumbled. "Rodrick, will we get famous like that?" Rodrick looked up at the tv as he finally got time free from munching snacks.

"Adam, I can see it. In 10 years, people will fly from all over the world just to see us perform. We will do actual world tours." His friends looked at him, smiling as he continued.

Rodrick stood on his couch. "We will tour South America, Europe, and Asia." His friends cheered, but a particular cheer caught his attention. He turned around to see his girl Y/n clapping for him. He leapt over the couch, picked her up without effort, and twirled her around. "And you, my sweet girl, will manage our band."

Y/n put her hand on her chest. "It will be an honour, rockstar."

Rodrick couldn't help but blush. He loved it when Y/n would take pride in his music and would talk about it with her friends. He thanked his lucky stars that he found her.

"You got real quiet there. What are you thinking?" Y/n whispered as she fixed his hair.

"I am so lucky that you love me. You have always supported me, always been so kind to me. Although you can get annoying when I don't shower." He cupped her face, dodging her fingers as she tried to tickle him.

"Come on, sit with me, doll. Watch as history happens." Rodrick tugged her to where he was sitting with his friends. They all greeted her with a smile and went back to suggesting titles for their songs. He smirked when she sat on his lap, pecking her cheek as he started discussing song titles with his friends.

................................................................................

Y/n suddenly woke up and realised it had got dark outside. She looked around and realised she was still sitting on Rodrick's lap. She looked up and smiled as her heart was filled with love as she saw him sleeping peacefully.

She started to get up, but Rodrick's grip on her waist tightened. Y/n pinched his nose as a smirk spread on his lips. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Greg is at Rowley's home, and Mom and Dad have taken Manny to Grandma's home. It's just you and me at home right now," he smirked as he wrapped her arms around her waist.

"What are you planning?" Y/n asked as the back of her finger brushed his cheek.

"Just stay with me. We don't have to do anything. I just want to hold you." His chocolate-brown eyes looked at her, pleading for her to stay.

Y/n nodded. "Ok. I'll stay, and you can rant about Greg all you want."

She felt like she fell more in love with him as his face lightened up and he held her closer to him. Y/n heard him taking a deep breath as she laid her head on his chest.

She looked up at him. "Is something bothering you?"

Rodrick's eyes widened. It always took him by surprise how she always took him by surprise how she would know how he really felt. He sighed, trying to find the correct words to say.

"I made pretty big promises in front of my friends. But what if we don't fulfil those promises."

Y/n realised he was getting insecure. "Now, it's not just your dream to do a world tour, Rodrick. It's your goal. It's one of your biggest goals. Take one step at a time. Do your shows locally, get a professional manager, and keep working on your music...there are so many things to do, Rodrick, and you have just started. So please don't give up." she kissed him as she held his hand, letting him know she was there for him.

Rodrick broke the kiss. He needed to see her, to take her beauty in. "I don't deserve you." He breathlessly mumbled against her lips before kissing her again. "I love you so much." he peppered kisses all over her face. He had to let her know how much he loved her.

"And I love you too, rockstar." Y/n kissed him back as a promise to be with him through thick and thin.

A/N: I know I am late sorry. I got busy anyways I hope you like it. REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

#rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley x y/n #rodrick heffley x fem!reader #rodrick x reader #rodrick x y/n #rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid imagines #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid #greg heffley #rodrick heffley fanfic #rodrick heffley fluff #rodrick heffley fanfiction #rodrick fanfic #devon bostick x reader #devon bostick #ask turvi #turvi writes

[static-scribblez]

Remember these two?

This is them now. Feel old yet?

#I hate myself. #charlie stfu #shitpost #life in the world to come #litwtc #the real will wood #Chris dunne #will wood #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #greg heffley #rowley jefferson

[strawberoni]

also have this silly little shitpost i made

behold…

GREG💡RI !!!

what if i actually make this into an AU tho… WE’LL SEE!!!

#greg heffley #rodrick heffley #manny heffley #heffley family #doawk #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk fanart #diary of a wimpy kid fanart #omori #omori au #loded diper #rkgk #my art <3 #procreate #digital art

[movisual]

percy jackson 🤝greg heffley 🤝 tim drake

eternally in school

#LET THEM GRADUATE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 #percy jackson #pjo #rick riordan #greg heffley #diary of a wimpy kid #tim drake #red robin #robin #dc #batman

[whenisthefall]

Ok so Rodrick's in his room just spinning in his chair thinking about a way to ask you out, while his brother Greg comes in the room and says something like "hey... so don't be mad but I kinda maybe...sorta... told y/n about the tiny crush you had on her-" and rodrick slowly gets of from his chair staring him dead in the eyes and saying "you did what now...?" And rodrick is mere inches away from Greg's face and then saying "Oh you are so dead" while chasing his brother around the house. But later that night when you show up at his door asking if maybe he would want to go to this concert with you he says yes and then turns to Greg that's on the couch and says "maybe your not to bad after all"

(sorry if this is bad I hardly right. So sorry)

#sht post #rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley imagine #rodrick heffley x reader smut #rodrick heffley x reader #greg heffley #brothers

[mozzarella-stickz]

Lovers Rock: Rodrick Heffley x F! Reader

Author’s Note: Special thanks to @celootaku1 for telling me I should write this :) Hope you enjoy! Sorry it’s like months late though…

Summary: A panic attack in the school cafeteria leads to a chance encounter with none other than Rodrick Heffley.

Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, probably OOC Rodrick don’t hate me. Otherwise lots of fluff <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were certain this was the worst day of your life.

As soon as you woke up, the impending doom of the day seemed to loom over your head, your brain repeating over and over how bad today was. Your head felt fuzzy and confused, your body shaky and riddled with random jolts of anxiety.

It all came to a climax during lunch time, when the smells, sounds, and godawful fluorescent lights of the cafeteria all become to much for you, and you bolted. You grabbed your lunchbox, excusing yourself from your table, and bolting out to your car in the parking lot. The school was well aware of your condition, and all you had to do was nod and they let you out.

You slammed your door shut, the panic setting in. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Your breathing cycled over and over, rounds of seconds of holding and exhaling.

Unbeknownst to you, was the guy sitting in the van parked right next to you. Rodrick Heffley had decided he did not want to go so Spanish that day, instead choosing to take a nap in the back of the van. He was rudely awakened however, by slamming doors and the loud beeping of the car’s lock system.

“Jesus Christ,” he groaned, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Rodrick climbed to the front of the van, looking at his window at the commotion. He noticed you sitting in your front seat, breathing in and out as tears flowed down your cheeks, smearing your mascara down your face. He felt a little bad now, panic attacks were something he’d dealt with a lot in middle school. He took a deep breath, opening his van door, and knocking on your window gently. You jolted up, and he winced. You took another deep breath in, before rolling your window down.

“H-hi?” you said, voice weak and shaky. You were absolutely confused as to why Rodrick Heffley was knocking on your window, much less doing so in a nice way.

“You okay?” he asked, shuffling a little as he leaned down to your window.

“Not really,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes.

“Do you want to talk?”

“There’s really nothing. I had a panic attack over nothing.”

Awkward silence between you both. Rodrick because he wasn’t quite sure what to say, and you because while you appreciated his concern, you really did not feel like talking at that moment.

“I can go if you want…”

“No!”

Rodrick looked at you, slightly puzzled. It didn’t seem like you wanted him to be there, but your outburst was strange.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to yell, I just…”

“Nah, I get it.”

“You can get in if you want.”

Rodrick opened your car door, sliding into the passenger seat. You leaned your head back into your seat, continuing your breathing slowly and gently.

Rodrick sat, watching you. You were always such a fun-loving person, caring and kind, smiling like nothing was ever wrong.

Your heart started to settle down and your head cleared slightly. You checked your phone, seeing a few texts from your friends asking if you were alright. You smiled, but set it down. You would reply later.

“Thanks for sitting here,” you said, turning towards Rodrick. “I really appreciate the concern.”

“Yeah, anytime. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just sometimes I wake up with the worst feelings of anxiety for no reason. Today was one of those days. Cafeteria was just too much today.”

“I get it. In middle school, I used to get super anxious all the time. But my way of coping was just to not care, I guess.”

“I wish it was that easy.”

“It was hard, but that’s when I started to drum too. Helped me with the nerves and shit.”

You giggled a little, wiping your eyes. You pulled down your mirror, groaning at the raccoon eyes look you were pulling off right now.

“I’m a mess!”

“Hey, no worries, I have an idea.”

Rodrick bolted, rushing into the front seat of his van for something. After a few minutes of sifting through not done homework and fast food bags, he grabbed a small bag. Sitting back down in the seat, he opened it and pulled out an eyeliner pencil. You cocked your head, looking at him with a “what the fuck” look.

“I wear it for gigs sometimes. I carry it around just in case any pretty girls need it.”

Your heart fluttered at that comment.

“Close your eyes,” he said. You obliged, tilting towards him. He lined it around the top of your eyes, smudging it a little with his fingers.

“Okay, open.”

You did, and then he drew a small line underneath the bottom of the rim of your eye. Taking his pinky, he smudged it, wiping away the flakes of mascara along with it.

“Alright, done.”

You flicked your mirror down, examining his work. You smiled in astonishment, you looked wicked cool and totally smudged on purpose.

“I love it!” You squealed. “I look awesome! Thank you so much!”

“Anytime.”

You sat in silence, examining it. You looked so…not you, and it was so sick. You checked your phone again, seeing it was almost time for lunch to end.

“Crap, I gotta go,” you said, sighing. Instead of pocketing your phone, you handed it to Rodrick in a bold move.

“Can I get your number?” you asked, “Just in case?”

“Huh…oh OH yeah, um of course!”

You giggled again at his shock, handing him your phone as he put his number in. Rodrick handed your phone back, his hands so shaky it was endearing.

“Thanks again, Rodrick. See you soon.”

You exited your car, bolting back inside. Rodrick shut your car, staring at you walking inside. See you soon. His heart fluttered a little, something that hadn’t happened since Heather Hills sat next to him in class several years ago.

Later that evening, Rodrick felt his phone ping in his pocket, picking it up he read a text from your presumed number.

Attachment: 1 image.

He opened it to see a picture of you holding an eyeliner pencil in the makeup section with a smile on your face.

Another text from you that said:

had to get my own since i looked so cool! thanks again <3

His heart fluttered again, this time at an alarming rate. He typed out a response, palms sweaty and hands once again shaking like a leaf in the wind.

of course, pretty girl <3

From the other end of the phone, you felt faint. You set your phone down, letting your brain formulate a response. You typed it down, breathing in and out before sending:

do you want to hang out this weekend?

#rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x y/n #rodrick heffley x reader #diary of a wimpy kid #not my rodrick #greg heffley #jeff kinney #rodrick heffley fanfic

[nov4-rocket5]

Zoo-Wee Mama!

#shitpost #invincible #omni man #mark grayson #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #greg heffley #rowley jefferson

[best-character-named-x-poll]

have you done your daily click

#best character named x #poll #poll game #greg heffley #gregory house #greg hirsch #cousin greg #greg over the garden wall #gregor samsa #fnaf gregory #diary of a wimpy kid #house md #succession #over the garden wall #the metamorphosis #fnaf #five nights at freddy's

[jebbeesketches]

#jebbeeart #drawing #art #digital art #sketch #fanart #omori #omori fanart #omori sunny #omori basil #diary of a wimpy kid #greg heffley

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Dysfunctional Perspective man……A freaking Diary of a Wimpy Kid fan comic is making me emotional…

#fuck frank all my buddys hate frank and Susan too but mostly frank #Dysfunctional Perspective #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk fancomic #rodrick is going through it…. #greg heffley #rodrick heffley #doawk fanfic

[itsmarsss]

The World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show [Rodrick Heffley x Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

(~from the vault~)

Susan invites you to watch one of the Heffley's weird annual traditions, and you're expecting anything but this.

Word Count: 1,479

[...]

Dating Rodrick Heffley was… an experience. Not in a bad way at all, it was only that it could be… weird, for lack of a better word to describe it, at times. Like right now, for instance, when you were sitting in his living room while his parents told an extremely over-complicated story through… puppets.

You weren’t exactly sure how you'd gotten yourself into this situation. Okay, well, that was a lie, actually.

Susan had been incredibly persistent about you coming to the ‘World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show’, as she made sure to announce extravagantly, adamant about you being present to witness the oh-so-great performance, and, despite Rodrick´s ridiculous attempts at making faces at you from behind her that quietly told you to not, in any occasion, agree to it, you just couldn’t get yourself to say no.

“Why would you say yes? You could have just said your grandma just died or something!” Rodrick questioned you, exhasperated.

“Dude! Don’t say that about my grandma!”

“Okay sorry. But you could’ve said absolutely anything! Anything!"

“I tried! She kept finding solutions! She even said she’d move the date up.”

“She said that?”

“Yeah. Why?"

“Shit. She’s never moved the date before. She really wants you to go.”

“Why is that?"

“No idea. I think she just really likes you."

“Why do you sound so shocked about that?”

“She’s never really liked any of the girls I went out with.”

“Okay, James Dean. You’ve gone out with like one girl before me when you were like sixteen.”

“Hey I got laid! Occasionally.”

“Ew."

“It’s true!”

“Yeah right.”

“Fine. I got laid twice. Happy?"

You shrugged, grinning at him as you poked fun at him some more.

"Well now that you said yes to her I guess we’re gonna have to go.”

“It can’t be that bad!”

It could. It definitely, 100%, without a doubt, could. The ‘performance’ had been going on for about half an hour now, and it didn’t look like it was heading towards an end any time soon. You were all sitting in chairs, which were lined up in front of the couch, your seat between Rodrick's and Greg's, with Rowley by Greg’s left and Manny by Rodrick’s right.

Okay, yeah, maybe this time you should have listened to Rodrick.

You really, really tried, but you could not, as much as you desperately wanted to, figure out the plot of the story Mr. and Mrs. Heffley were trying to tell. It had something to do with dragons and fried chicken and at some point you could swear there was a clown. How any of that tied up together was beyond you, and, as you could see, Rodrick and Greg too.

The only ones who seemed to be having any fun at all were Manny, who was standing up and clapping like crazy throughout the entire thing, probably props to the very questionable voices his parents were making for the ridiculous amount of different characters that seemed to progressively look worse in appearance as they showed up, and Rowley, who also didn’t seem to understand any of it, but looked entertained nonetheless, occasionally even shooting Greg a few comments, to which Greg just smiled and mumbled something incoherent under his breath in response.

You leaned over to Rodrick, who was wide-eyed at this point, looking borderline terrified at the scene that unfolded in front of him. “You said it was bad, not that it was gonna give me nightmares!” You whispered.

He looked genuinely embarrassed, and for Rodrick Heffley to be embarrassed of something, oh that was something. “I tried to warn you!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Greg whispered too, making himself a part of the conversation.

“Shut up dickhead,” Rodrick let out under his breath, to which Greg replied by sticking his tongue out at him, earning a middle finger in response. Oh, brothely love.

“Do you guys really have to go through this every year?”

They both nodded. “It’s like it gets more terrifying every year,” Greg commented, and you took a quick glance back at the couch, where Mr. and Mrs. Heflley were crouched behind. Apparently a pig who was wearing a bow tie was hunting down a rabbit for sweets now.

“Do you guys think they’d notice if we left?” Greg asked and you pondered on it. Then you had an idea.

You turned to face your boyfriend. “Okay look. You gotta be fast alright? And you can't let your mom be upset at me."

“What?” Rodrick questioned you, finally managing to look away from the trance the puppet show had kept his eyes in.

“When I say I gotta go you say you’re coming with me.”

He nodded, though he hadn't really gotten the gist of where you were going with that.

“Wait can I come?”

“No,” Rodrick promptly replied.

“Come on give him a break," you nudged his arm, to which he rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh.

“Fine. But only ‘cause she asked.”

Greg smiled, looking at you. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Alright we gotta get out fast. Just grab Rowley with ya.”

Greg nodded in understandment.

“Hey Mrs. Heffley?” You spoke up.

The voices stopped. You were already grateful just for that moment of silence. Susan’s head appeared from behind the sofa. “Yes dear? Something wrong?”

“I'm really sorry, but um I really need to head home, I think.”

“Oh but we’re only halfway through-”

“I’ll take her home!” Rodrick exclaimed at lightspeed, yanking you by your wrist and sprinting towards the front door.

“We’ll come with!” Greg yelled too, doing the same with Rowley, leaving only Manny as an audience for the remainder of the story.

“But-”

“Bye! Thnak you for inviting me!” You yelled over, already out by the front yard.

“Uh- bye sweetie!”

You got to Rodrick’s van, which was parked on the street, all panting and out of breath from running so fast.

“Okay, get in demon spawn.” Rodrick unlocked the back door and waiting for the boys to enter.

“Hey!” You exclaimed in feighened offense.

“Not you. You’re a… sexy little demon...ess,” he smirked, knowing he’d get a laugh out of you.

You could hear Greg and Rowley say ‘ew’ from the back as you got in the car.

“I agrre with them, ew. I think I prefer demon spawn.”

Rodrick got in himself, turning the engine on. “Okay any ideas?”

“Can we go to Chipotle?” Rowley asked.

“No we should go to Taco Bell!” Greg yelled, and they immediately started arguing about it, talking over each other so loud you couldn’t understand a single word they were saying.

“Hey! Dickheads! Shut up!” Rodrick yelled, and, surprisingly, they did. “Y/n chooses.”

“What? Why?” Greg asked, offended.

“She has girlfriend privileges!”

You laughed at Greg’s angry expression. “Well I think we should go to Subway.”

“We’re not going to Subway." Rodrick deadpanned.

“What? You said I had girlfriend privileges!”

“Not if you choose fucking Subway!”

“Fine. Domino’s?”

“That's a decent option!” He smiled, and started driving.

You got yourselves a large pizza, Greg and Rowley quick to leave the table and go chase after each other around the place.

“You have grease on your chin,” you informed Rodrick when you looked at him. He wiped it off, his mouth full of food. He tried to say something, but quit as soon as he started, the sound muffled.

“Dude swallow the pizza first, that’s gross!”

He did so before trying again. “I said thank you.”

“It was looking all greasy and gross!"

"Oh shut up," he smiled at your teasing. "I meant for saying yes to my mom. She was actually like super excited about it.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together, confused. “Wait I thought you wanted me to say no.”

“Well yeah. But she clearly liked that you did go or whatever. She likes you.”

“That good?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. Maybe he won’t be so up our asses if she likes you.”

“Well you’re very welcome. Cause that was… something.”

He laughed. “You thought that was bad? You should see the Christmas one.”

There was no way. “They do a Christmas puppet show too?”

“Oh no it’s much worse. They actually act in it.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. And you’re officially invited by me.”

“Oh no don’t bring me into this again-”

“Too late! I-” he took a sip of his soda- “will be telling my mom you had a wonderful time today, and you were so, so bummed you had to go home early!”

“You’re a jerk!”

“What's that I hear? You’d be thrilled to attend the Yearly Heffley Christmas Play?"

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

You smiled. You supposed you signed up for weirdness the moment you said yes to dating Rodrick Heflley of all people.

“I do, actually!”

He smiled at you. No, you don't.

[. . .]

A/N: heyy rewrote some thingies but its mostly the same as when i first wrote it. so here ya go with some more rodrick content! :)

#ill get my shit together with my masterlinks #im slowly adding my old stuff to tumblr but everything ive ever posted is on ao3 so if yall wanna check it out its itsmarsss there too #rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley imagine #rodrick heffley x reader #greg heffley #rowley jefferson #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #doawk imagine #doawk rodrick

[turvi]

Chicks Dig Bad Boys

Rodrick Heffley x Reader

According to Y/n, Rodrick was just another emo boy, a loser, a typical teenage dirtbag. At least, this is what she heard from Heather Hills. Y/n was shocked Heather even chose to talk to her. Not just because Heather is the 'it girl' of Westmore High School.

Y/n had cracked the code to deal with high school, and that was to avoid joining any kind of group and not get noticed by anyone. Even if you somehow develop a crush on someone, keep it a secret. So she was surprised when Heather sat beside her and decided to talk to her. Y/n merely shrugged her shoulder and nodded at appropriate times as she spoke, tuning out the blonde girl.

Of course, you were aware of the crush the boy was harbouring for Heather especially when he made a show of ruining Heather's birthday. Y/n saw it all happen and thought how Rodrick actually had a nice voice and had potential. So when Rodrick happened to sit beside her in the English class she off-handedly complimented his voice.

Y/n had expected him to give her a smug smile or make an inappropriate joke. What she didn't expect was to find a very flushed Rodrick who was trying to find the correct words to say to her. She couldn't believe her eyes. She never saw Rodrick become so flustered.

"Uh..th..thank you...it...it means a lot." Rodrick wanted to slap himself for speaking like forgot how to speak. Yeah sure he got a few claps and hollers when his band played but no one complimented his voice.

"Was that the first time you sang?" now she was intrigued. Rodrick looked up and saw a genuine smile on her face. He took a breath of relief. He had thought she was making fun of him.

"Uh..yeah. I only sing when we perform in my garage. I wanted to do something special for Heather. But clearly, it went wrong." he said as he ran his hand through his hair. Y/n almost extended her hand to fix his unruly hair but dropped her hand when she saw him smile. She felt her heart flutter

Shit

Now she had something to say to Rodrick, but she forgot when she saw him smile like that. Boys like him were not supposed to smile like that. He was not supposed to have such a soft smile. Her trance broke when she saw him smirking.

"I saw you last night...not in a creepy way. I mean... obviously, during all that chaos at Heather's birthday, I saw you." there was that damned smile again. "I didn't know you were friends with her." His tone had a genuine wonder.

Y/n chuckled. "I helped her a few times with assignments..not really a friend, but we know each other, plus free food. Who can say no to that?"

Y/n felt her cheeks warming up under his gaze and tried to hide it under the curtain of her hair when she suddenly felt his fingers against her cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. At that moment, she realised Rodrick actually saw her. She realised Rodrick was more than a teenage dirtbag that the world told her to stay away from.

She cleared her throat "I have heard your band play...when I come to tutor Greg."

Rodrick's hand grew sweaty. He knew how loud his band practice was, mainly to annoy Greg and his best friend Rowley. But he can't help but felt guilty as he realised how much of a nuisance it would have been for her.

"I am so sorry if our practice disturbed you guys"

"Oh no it's ok..I actually don't mind. I like that kind of music. Although it would be nice if the volume is a bit low."

"yeah...yeah absolutely...no big deal we can even practice a bit later."

Rodrick looked ahead trying his best to control a giddy smile. He did not expect his morning to be this good.

"Great...so I will see you in the evening..if you don't mind"

"yeah yeah totally" Rodrick quickly responded with a big smile. He was looking forward to meeting her this evening...after he locked Greg in the basement again.

A/N: Ladies and Gentlemen the boy who got me into bad boys. Rodrick Heffley. I couldn't stop myself from writing for him. I feel like a teen again. REBLOG AND COMMENT if you like this.

#rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley x y/n #rodrick x y/n #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #rodrick imagines #devon bostick #devon bostick x reader #greg heffley #diary of a wimpy kid imagines #rodrick heffley fluff #rodrick fanfic #rodrick heffley fanfic #rodrick heffley imagine #turvi writes

[ggrna]

#doawk #diary of a wimpy kid #greg heffley #rodrick heffley #dank memes #ligma balls #ifunny #minions