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#grief blogging
elizabeeeeeth · 9 months
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i'm still grieving from losing you, i just don't talk about it anymore i miss you so much
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millerflintstone · 1 month
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The elementary school on the way home has an LED sign with date information for parents and students. They had something up with today's date that I saw on the way back from the store last weekend. It's an automatic thought that February 23rd is my sister's birthday and I felt caught off guard.
Today would have been my sister's 60th birthday. I both can and can't believe it's been 4.5 years since she died of a sudden heart attack, most likely from untreated hyperthyroidism.
I have a longer post in drafts that I don't know if I'll share. She had a troubled life and we had our share of highs and lows together. Grief is complicated. She is the main person who helped shape who I am in many good ways. She's also someone who let me down repeatedly. I think I'll always be sad that we never got to have a close relationship as adults where we were independent equals.
But today I'm remembering the good times. U2 was her favorite band. She loved them before they became humongous. So here's U2's Live Aid performance of Bad off of their album, The Unforgettable Fire. 12- 15 year old me LOVED mocking Bono's onstage and video antics to make my sister laugh. We got to see them three times in concert. Fantastic shows and memories
youtube
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endreal · 2 months
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Can't stop thinking about how we'll never see the ocean. Once in a conversation he told me - half joking but also half serious - that all they wanted was for someone to take them to the beach. And on that day I resolved that I would. Ever since then anytime I'd been out to the coast, if I wasn't doing family tradition stuff with my husband or helping my girlfriend sink rod holders and bait hooks or staring up in rapture at the night sky, I was paying attention locations and neighborhoods and rentals. Looking for a idealistic place that was the perfect combination of accessible and private and near the water and not so brutally expensive that I couldn't save up for it. Last summer I started a new job with reliable PTO accrual. In July I thought I found my perfect spot. Since August I'd been setting money aside where I could in hopes of getting a weekend scheduled on the books this summer. And all for fucking what now?
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creatinganewwlife · 2 months
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It’s true. As much as i hate it, i realised the person i love more than myself wasn’t there for me. He couldn’t be there for me. And now even though he is trying to be there, it feels unreal.
I had always thought that being there for each other, being each other’s rock is what love is. And i assumed you’d be my rock too if it ever came to that because i knew i would. People stay strong for the person they love, right? I know i would bear everything if it came to you.
But why, when i am going through something unimaginable, my pain is alot to deal with? So i am left to deal with it alone. Why do i have to always struggle alone? Why do i always have to be strong?
For the first time in my life, i thought i could lean on someone and what happened later felt like a tight slap on my face, a very harsh and unwanted realisation, almost like God, chiding me,
“Did you really think you could depend on anyone?”
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fanchonmoreau · 6 days
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my grandfather died yesterday. he was 94, a long life well lived.
two years ago at Kol Nidre, in those few hours at the beginning of Yom Kippur when you're not hungry, I had a thought not about god but about the earth and the universe. the universe seems cold and indifferent, and the earth is dying at our hand. they are not sentient, but they hold the remains of every single person who has come before us. so how can they be indifferent, really? the people we love go back to the earth, so the earth loves us back. maybe, a little. or at least it remembers us. however it is that the earth or the universe remembers anything.
omnia mutantur, nihil interit. everything changes, nothing perishes. every memory a blessing to us all.
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iwasherangel · 4 months
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isthisallreal-or · 5 months
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I’m having trouble finding a way to contain or process my grief because I feel so helpless, so I’ve been turning to anger more often than not. I’ve devoted years to justice for Palestinians and it’s nothing compared to so many other activists, but it’s still so fucking devastating. The world spins only forward but I can’t imagine how at the moment
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orca-soup · 1 year
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How am I supposed to celebrate entering a year he will never know? How am I supposed to tell people it was last year that he died and I am still not okay? How am I supposed to be okay with each passing day knowing that it brings me one day further from our life together? How am I supposed to grow old when I know that he never will?
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thegriefbutton · 1 year
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I like to scroll Reddit and I'm part of the Grief Support thread.
Someone was struggling to come to terms with the euthanasia of their family dog and this was my response. I'm so passionate about aftercare in regards to euthanasia and pet loss.
It's so hard to deal with. They're a constant in our lives and loss is hard enough, nevermind when you have to make the choice to assist them to the rainbow bridge. We feel so much guilt. It's natural.
I feel like euthanasia is one of the most pure forms of love. We wouldn't break our own hearts with this decision if we didn't love them so much.
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f4tbastard · 1 year
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One of the hardest/strangest things about losing my brother is the fact that time does not stand still, even though I still feel frozen in place. Every new person I meet and that becomes a part of my life is another person who will never get to meet him and I feel so guilty when I talk to them about him, because the stories are such watered down versions of him and details of who he was. Christopher was so and is so much bigger than any words I could ever share. He had this way of drawing people to him and you just felt in awe of him. And I still am in awe of him, but now it hurts. Now it feels like I’ve gotten a little too close to the sun every time I think of him. I just miss him and when I think about it too much it starts to feel like my ribs are cracking and caving in.
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defiantly-whole · 2 months
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It's just that like.
Dad lost his job when i was in 1st grade, and did not get another one until i was in 8th. And then he only kept that job for two and a half years before they downsized and he was let go, and he'd been retired since. Dad Was my everyday. I lived on campus for five semesters, the majority of two and a half years, but even when i came home for winter and summer breaks, it was always dad that took care of things. Dad woke me up, made me breakfast, got me to my appointments on time, took me shopping, tried to get me to exercise, on top of taking care of the animals and house. Like, we've had to outsource so much that dad was taking care of bc i can't do it and mom works. Im struggling to keep on top of things that need doing - we are once again behind on the cars' registrations. I still dont drive so i have to schedule things around mom's calendar, which is hard when i Cannot wake up for early appointments and everywhere wants to close at 4. (Besides mom's mornings are almost always jam-packed with meetings so even if i could make morning appointments, no i couldnt.) Losing my dad wildly upended my day to day and i still have to face that gigantic hole he left every time i batch make breakfast or have to figure out when to schedule appts or deal with a spider or beetle in my bedroom or bathroom. And there just. Arent any resources for how to deal with losing a person who was a load bearing wall when people expect you to be an adult enough to manage on your own. Like, cant you see my world has crumbled around me? Dont you understand what happens when you lose a load bearing wall? You have to rebuild from scratch. There is a reason buildings with structural damage get torn down. Where's the help for that?
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hushvodael · 11 months
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My thoughts about grief, and how I've been feeling about it.
I worry about it constantly and fear drowning in it. So I put my emotions to the page!
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millerflintstone · 4 months
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I see some of my muertitos (to coin @jackaranda 's phrase) every time I look at my body. I see my sister's toes, my mother's eyes and my father's elbows. When I hear my voice, I hear my sister because I learned English from her. I am silly like my mom was and my temper is like my father's.
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cleverclovers · 3 days
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Grief isn't a one way street. the older you get the more people who pass. the older you get the longer it feels you're stumbling backwards A laugh you treasured fading from your mind the weight of a hug, longed for, but impossible to receive gentle words, silly inside jokes meals and treats and songs and just. Things I have more reason to lean away from certain video games than I ever did before Comics I avoid because they were his favorites Movies I can't watch on my own because they were things I experienced with him there's no old man with a protection to carry along he was my protection there's no combing the desert for signs of life it's not there Chips laden with toppings won't ever taste the same Precious things, treasured gifts, lost to time and damage, leaving little to hold to when time sweeps memories away like dirt over the threshold I wasn't ready but you're never ready it's painful it's strangling I have to keep going but sometimes I feel so so lost If grief isn't a one way street, though what exactly is it? and how to I move forward?
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creatinganewwlife · 2 months
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The stars shone brightly the night you went away.
I remember thinking how pretty the sky was that night and i clicked these pictures, not knowing what would ensue minutes later. It was almost as if god wanted to light up the path that lead you to him?
I hope you reached your destination safe and sound and i hope you're not in pain anymore. I hope you're at peace. I hope you get to eat all your favourite dishes that you missed having so much. I hope you make new friends up there. I hope you get to live the rest of your life up there somehow.
It 's not fair, you were just 19. You were supposed to experience oh so much. I wish i had more time with you.
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sithprincex · 2 months
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It’s so frustrating being gaslit by your mom as a 31 year old eldest daughter. Because you KNOW you’re being honest and truthful when you tell her she doesn’t engage with you when you’re excited about something or happy. And when she tells you “I’m sorry you feel that way, but if you think that way about me I’m sorry it’s not true but idk what to say.” You just fucking cry because you’ve heard this exact conversation with the other person being your ex wife. And you realize how fucked up in a cycle of violence you were in. And you just cry and hate and rage and just want to be held by someone you know believes everything you’ve ever told them. And you know, it’s fucked because you’ve seen it happen to yourself so many times and you’re tired of it. So you set a boundary. And even as a full grown adult, she somehow manages to make you feel like you’re 14 again, and she’s denying you’re depressed.
And you fucking hate it.
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