#grizzly adams looking cat
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I completely forgot I had these in my drafts
With these last two character intros, this finally rounds out the full main cast!
No update for today but I'll hopefully have one coming up for y'all soon.
Gwen Nguyen | The Kid
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While she might seem like a sweet and innocent kid at first glance, Gwen is precocious and snarky to a fault. She wants to be taken seriously and doesn't like being coddled due to her disability or because of her age. Gwen isn't afraid to make her dislike of someone known, making crude gestures or mocking them behind their backs. She'd say that she is mature for her age but that couldn't be further from the truth. Because Gwen doesn't want to be seen as helpless, she is very adamant in learning how to fight and take care of herself, wanting to do her part in protecting the crew. Gwen is very trusting when you first meet her. However, that trust can be easily broken and once lost can never be regained. Even during the apocalypse, Gwen has not given up hope of a brighter future.
Fun Facts:
She absolutely loves bears. Gwen's favorites are sun bears and grizzly bears.
Her full name is Gwendolyn. Call her that and she'll hate you forever.
She likes giving little trinkets of her appreciation to the rest of the crew. Shiny rocks, flowers, bottle caps, anything she thinks that they would like.
Gwen is fluent in ASL and she is learning how to speak HCMC sign language.
She doesn't like dogs.
If she had to choose who her favorite was in the crew, it'd be either Max or Javier. Gwen likes drawing with Max and pushing Javier's buttons is always fun.
She hates the dark.
Gwen still has her polar bear plush that she's had since birth. She keeps it hidden away in her backpack.
Pa and Ma Hazel | The Guardians
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Pa might look like a big scary dog but in actuality, he's just a big ol' doofus. He's more friendlier compared to Ma Hazel, greeting anyone (human or animal) he meets with a multitude of puppy dog kisses. He's also much more curious, a trait that causes Pa to wander off rather frequently. Luckily, Ma Hazel is around to keep him in check. She's the complete opposite of Pa, her almost cat-like personality making her a difficult dog to get along with. She's known as the princess of the crew and she likes to be treated as such. While it doesn't take much for Pa to trust someone, Ma Hazel isn't so easily swayed. Once you've gained their trust however, you've gained a friend for life and both Pa and Ma Hazel will fiercely protect the people they love.
Fun Facts:
No one knows their real names. Derek's the one who renamed them as Pa and Ma Hazel and that's what they've been answering to ever since.
Ma Hazel is picky with who she gives attention to. Her favorite humans so far are Derek and Gwen.
Pa loves everyone equally but Gwen seems to be his most favorite.
Ma Hazel hates getting baths. She loves having her fur brushed through.
Pa likes to chew on everything he finds and because of this, will bring back random objects. After the crew received a few grisly presents, he's not allowed to wander by himself anymore.
Ma Hazel is a secret troublemaker. She'll get into the treats hidden away or eat any food left out. Because of how stoic she seems, everyone assumes Pa did it.
They both seem to understand commands in English and Spanish.
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Far Cry 5 True Facts
Mammals
American Black Bear: Unlike the Canadian Black Bear, these ones are loud, entitled, and don’t apologize after killing you.
Bison: A baby bison is called a “red dog” because the people who name things lack basic education. Also, humans slaughtered 50 million of them. 50 MILLION!
Caribou: Reindeer and caribou are the same animal, only reindeer put on airs because they’re European.
Cougar: Cougars have similar body types to house cats, only on a larger scale. Both types of cats are also giant assholes.
Elk: Elk are vegetarian, but are known to eat meat such as nestlings or bird eggs on rare occasions. Which makes them the animal equivalent of your old college roommate.
Grey Wolf: Wolves develop close relationships and strong social bonds. They are also known to hit the clubs after getting their pump on.
Grizzly Bear: These omnivores are known to eat berries, fish, and, according to the Secretary of Education, children.
Hare: Hares are adamant that they’ve never lost a race and warn everyone against believing FAKE NEWS from the Mainstream Tortoise Media.
Moose: Moose are incredibly near-sighted, but are too cheap to pay for laser eye surgery.
Pronghorn: Pronghorns are the second fastest mammal, behind the cheetah, but cheetahs are almost extinct so the Pronghorns are happy to wait it out.
Rat: A Rat can survive for up to years in the wild, but only about two days in the mob.
Skunk: Skunks will only spray when threatened, as they live life under the principle “don’t start none. won’t be none.”
White Tailed Deer: Like a human, an adult Deer has thirty-two teeth. Unlike a human, it will floss after every meal without fail.
Wild Boar: Wild Boar are like pigs, only they party harder.
Wolverine: They’re the best at what they do, and what they do is secrete a foul smelling yellow liquid from their anal scent glands.
Birds
Bald Eagle: You probably think Bald Eagles are bold, majestic hunters, but they actually eat trash and steal food from other birds. USA! USA! USA!
Duck: Duck penises are corkscrew shaped which is super handy for opening bottles of wine while camping.
Ruffed Grouse: The Ruffed Grouse is a non-migratory bird that forgets the fact that at one time, one of their ancestors migrated from somewhere.
Turkey: These large birds are the main event of every Thanksgiving dinner and signal the beginning of insane sales where people die trying to get a “deal.”
Turkey Vulture: A turkey and a vulture had a regrettable one-night stand. One of them believed life begins at conception and look at that... a new species!
Fish
Largemouth Bass: The Largemouth Bass is similar to the Smallmouth Bass, only that the mouth is larger. Really, it’s all there in the name.
Rock Bass: Rock Bass are fresh water fish who don’t have a problem with being around human activity. They are completely unimpressed by everything we do. Everything.
Smallmouth Bass: It is the male Bass that stays back and guards the eggs. They are the stay-at-home dads of the fish world.
Bull Trout: Bull Trout are an extremely sensitive species that don’t tolerate high levels of sediment in their streams or any other environmental microaggressions.
Golden Trout: Different types of trout are capable of mating and producing viable offspring, but they’ve remained distinct for thousands of years because trout are super racist.
Lake Trout: Lake Trout can be difficult to find because of their preference for cold, dark, and murky lower depths. You can also find them trolling online forums.
Rainbow Trout: Rainbow Trout are the state’s number one game fish and they never shut up about it. We get it, you won. Stop reminding us every day.
Arctic Grayling Salmon: Arctic Graylings can be identified by their colorful and very large dorsal fin. Fly that fin loud and proud, you majestic creatures.
Chinook Salmon: The Chinook swims from the ocean back to freshwater where it spawns then dies. It’s sad, but you can never go home again.
Kokanee Salmon: The Kokanee are land-locked, and only live in freshwater. Like all salmon they die after spawning, which isn’t such a bad way to go really.
Paddlefish Sturgeon: Paddlefish caviar is a hot commodity, but even if you harvest the eggs yourself, you can’t take them outside. Isn’t that just like the government to think they have a say over someone else’s eggs?
Pallid Sturgeon: The Pallid Sturgeon has no teeth. It eats by sucking in its food and that’s why they’re known as the meth heads of the sea.
Plants
Jimson Weed: This nightshade was named “Jamestown weed” after soldiers there ate it and got blasted. YOLO.
Lupine: A wolf-like destroyer of soil quality. They say full moons don’t affect it, but we all know the truth.
Mustard: That yellow condiment in your fridge starts from this plants and is made in another type of plant.
Prairie Fire: It hooks up with neighboring plants, steals nutrients, and gives flowers. Sounds like THAT ex.
Prickly Lettuce: The leaves of this annual are bitter like life itself. Unlike life itself, you can put it in a salad.
#fc5#far cry 5#far cry#true facts#this is all of them i think#but the rat one threw me for a loop#it's the only one you can't hunt/gather so?#so maybe i missed others? like cattle or rattlesnakes or something?#let me know if you know of others#these took me FOREVER to find and compile
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[5 images. Duff Goldman, Guy Fieri posing for the camera. A plastic container filled with meat and vegetables. A person standing in a kitchen preparing food. A person holding a cup. A close up of food. Captions: We're on a family road trip and we stop here in San Antonio to check out the Buckhorn Saloon... Aah! ...and some Grizzly Adams-looking cat walks in with a bag of ribs.]
#s28e16 fusion of flavors#guy fieri#guyfieri#diners drive-ins and dives#family road trip#here#san antonio#buckhorn saloon#aah#grizzly adams looking cat#bag of ribs#person#indoor#food#young#table#container#plastic#filled#kitchen#cabinet#cup#plate#sitting#cake
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Can I ask about 2 and 8 for the wip tag game?
I've already talked about 8 (search #tag game in my tags and you'll find it).
But omg thank you for asking about 2!!
2. Like a Bat Out of Hell, Indiana
Oh man, oh man. This. This right here? This is my baby. My precious. The one I wrote so self indulgently that even if no one else likes it, I LIKE IT. And I'm completely okay with that.
El and Hopper fail at closing the gate at the end of s2, Billy appears at the Byers' house just in time and so begins a mad dash across the country, trying to outrun the end of the fucking world.
Tw: death (no one we care about though)
Excerpt:
The sound of a car roaring into the driveway has Steve's heart crashing up into his throat and they all turn to watch as headlights dance across the living room walls, sharp and blinding, like a goddamn beacon of hope.
And Steve doesn't have time to think about why the deep rumbling of the engine sounds so familiar.
He moves the kids now or they die.
"Get to the car, now!" Steve screams, just as the window at the end of the hall explodes inward.
Max gets to the door first and tears out of the house, sprinting toward the high beam lights with the boys hot on her heels.
"Billy!" She screams and goddamnit she can't mean--
She reaches the car, yanks the passenger side door open and pushes the front seat forward, shoving Dustin, Mike and Lucas into the back before diving in herself, righting the front seat in a practised move just in time for Steve to jump in after her.
And yep. There he is.
Hargrove's expression would be hilarious if they weren't seconds away from being overrun by a horde of carnivorous monster dogs.
"What the fuck do you losers think you're doing?!" Billy roars, eyes bugging slightly when he recognises Steve.
"Harrington?!"
Steve grabs him by the collar and screams into his face: "Just fucking drive!"
A loud crash has them both snapping their heads to the side just in time to watch as a hundred Demodogs or more come rushing out from behind the Byers' house, heading straight for them.
Without another word, Billy yanks the car into reverse and accelerates before hitting the breaks. Steve's stomach swoops as their momentum lets the wheels slide over the gravel to land perfectly on the road.
He grabs Billy's arm, yanks on it like it might shake some urgency into him.
"Hargrove, go!"
"Seatbelts! Get the seatbelts" Max yells at the others.
That's what she's worried about? Steve thinks, even as he reaches over his shoulder to strap himself in.
Then Billy puts the car into gear and guns it forward and they go from 0 to 70 mph in ten seconds flat, zooming down old, twisting back roads and Steve honestly can't believe that Hargrove's insane, wannabe NASCAR driving is gonna be what saves their asses tonight.
"What the hell are you doing all the way out here with my sister, huh?" Billy yells, taking his eyes off the road to look over at him and Steve might seriously have a fucking heart attack.
"Eyes on the road!" He exclaims, foot searching the footwell for a break pedal that isn't there, "For real, man? You want to do this now?!"
"Or you can get out and fucking walk, amigo," Billy snarls, swerving around another Demodog leaping for the hood of his car, "What the hell is up with these dogs?"
"Billy, stop it! Can you jus-- look out!" Max shrieks, her arm shooting between them to point straight ahead and the kids all begin yelling as the flower-in-bloom-faced ugly fuck grows larger in the windscreen at an alarming speed.
Smooth as butter, Billy avoids the gaping creature in their path, not taking his foot off the accelerator for even a second. Steve's heart beats a drum solo against his adam's apple. His fingers feel fused to the edges of the seat, holding on for dear life.
"Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that?" Billy turns to look behind him and Steve clenches his teeth so hard his jaw hurts, barely restraining himself from yanking Billy around to face forward again.
"Hargrove, I swear to God--"
"Oh god, look."
Steve turns his head the slightest amount to see Lucas pointing out of the window at the treeline to their right.
Demodogs.
Lots of them.
So many slimy, greyish bodies that the forest floor has all but disappeared and transformed into a churning sea of dark, slick oil.
More worryingly, they're all running in the same direction as the Camaro.
Fuck.
"What the…" Billy falters when he looks out of the window at the treeline, then seems to shake it off, placing his undivided attention back on the road for once.
He speeds up to pass a whole group of the beasts trying to cross to the other side, narrowly misses being cut off entirely by the mass of Demodog bodies. Steve releases a hand from the seat only to clutch at the grab handle on the door. He closes his eyes, swears he can feel his stomach fall out of his ass when the wheels on his side of the car lift into the air for half a beat.
"Shit, we're gonna die!" Dustin wails, voice wobbly as Billy jerks the wheel again to avoid a creature charging straight for them. If the kids weren't already packed in like sardines they'd be sliding around back there, seatbelt or no. "We're definitely gonna die! This psycho is gonna kill us before the monsters do!"
Billy scowls into the rear-view mirror and grits out "Hey kid, you're welcome to get out and walk."
"You literally tried to run us off the road a week ago--"
"Not the time, Dustin!" Max snaps and shushes him.
"We need to get to the gate!" Mike blurts out, leaning forward to speak directly at Steve. Demanding. "We need to help El!"
Steve doesn't even have the faintest idea of how to begin doing any of that.
"Dude, we can't just go back there, are you crazy--" Lucas pulls him back and they continue to argue in harsh whispers.
"If you losers don't shut the fuck up, I'll crash this goddamn car just so I can take you all with me." Billy barks, knuckles white on the wheel.
"Oh my god, see! What did I tell you?" Dustin exclaims, "He's dangerous, Steve!"
Yeah, well, he's all that we've got, Steve doesn’t say. "Shut up, Dustin."
They turn into the first proper residential street and Billy misses a tree by an inch as he tries to avoid colliding with five demodogs hunched over something on the road.
Oh god, was that a body?
"Harrington, where the fuck am I going?"
Steve closes his eyes, overwhelmed and completely out of his depth. They might have been the B team, but there hadn't actually been a plan B--
"Fuck, fuck! I don't know--"
"Billy," Max pleads, voice shaky with terror, silencing them all, "My mom…"
Billy sighs explosively before turning down a side street, barely slowing down.
"Shit."
*****
It's not just Max's mom, but Dustin's mom, too. Lucas's family. Mike's family.
They reach Old Cherry Road first and Billy barely allows the car to come to a full stop, Demodogs further down the street are taking notice of them already, stalking forward, mouths blooming excitedly. Steve eyes them warily until a garbled oh fuck from the back seat draws his attention to the other side of the street and--
It's bad.
The porch light sets the stage for a grizzly scene at the Hargrove residence. A woman lies directly beneath it, like the opening shot to a fucked up play, her head of red hair spilling over the top step.
She's very obviously dead. Steve can see where she must have tripped on the welcome rug -- awkwardly stiff and upturned between her feet -- and he can only hope she got knocked out in the fall and didn't feel a thing that came after. There isn't much left between her head and her knees except for a dark patch of gøre.
The headless body of a man lies slumped against a truck parked in the driveway, one arm stuck through the open car door, half torn off within his jacket. Blood still running down the concrete incline, pooling in the roadside gutter.
"Oh, you Bastard," Billy spits, barely a whisper.
The longer Steve stares, the more horrifying the scene becomes.
He doesn't want Max to see this. Or Billy.
Max doesn't make a sound.
Billy slams his fist against the steering wheel a couple of times, then peels away from the curb before the Demodogs can get too close.
*****
Dustin's house is dark. There's no car in the driveway.
"I told her Mews had been seen in Loch Nora. She must still be out looking..." Dustin trails off quietly. Shellshocked.
It's almost midnight. Steve doubts she's still out looking for a cat. And if she is...
"I wanted to keep her out of the way."
No one says anything.
They drive.
*****
The Sinclair house is dark, too, no lights on except for the motion sensor activated ones over the empty carport.
Billy doesn't bother slowing down. The area is absolutely swarming with creatures already.
"It's so late. Where..." Lucas falters, scanning the houses they pass, like he made a mistake and his home will appear any minute now. "Where did they go?"
"I'm sure they're okay, man," Steve tries, but it feels flat, false, "If they're in a car they could make it out. Your mom too, Dustin."
Billy grimaces, but says nothing.
"What?" Steve demands.
"I was just here looking for Max. They were home."
He keeps a laser focus on the road now, on avoiding the monsters spilling out onto their path, growling when he's forced to change down a gear before aggressively working his way up in speed once more, jaw clenched tight.
"You probably caught them on their way out." Steve insists.
Billy looks doubtful, but he nods anyway. Neither of them enough of an asshole to take a kid's hopes away like that.
They move on.
*****
"Let me out," Mike says, quietly. Trembling. Hands pushing against the back of Steve's seat like he'll be able to bend it out of the way through sheer force of will.
No one moves.
The front door to the Wheeler home is open, door splintered where the deadbolt held, but the wood didn't. The car is parked in the carport. All the lights are on.
Karen Wheeler's corpse lies forgotten and half devoured on the front lawn.
In the driveway, a tiny yellow sock lies next to bloody drag marks disappearing into the grass--
Oh god...
"Let me out."
Steve's lips move, but he can't seem to draw breath enough to produce sound..
Billy seems to shake himself out of a daze, takes a deep breath beside him. "Nah, kid."
And Mike just snaps.
"Fuck you! Fuck you!" He screams, punching and kicking the seat in front of him.
Steve leans forward out of the seat and puts his head in his hands.
"Let me out! LET ME OUT!" Mike shrieks, begs.
"No." Billy says again, evenly.
Mike's voice breaks on a wordless scream.
Steve wants to do his own bit of kicking and screaming, but someone needs to keep their fucking head in the game or they're all going to end up dead.
By some twisted turn of fate that someone is turning out to be Billy fucking Hargrove.
Hysterically, he remembers hearing about Billy abandoning Carla Green to walk home alone from the quarry after she'd scratched the Camaro's dashboard with her fake nails by accident.
Mike kicks the back of the seat again. Billy says nothing.
All the kids are crying, now.
Mike's screams eventually taper off into babbling sobs and Dustin does his best to comfort him through his own half-choked cries. Lucas is whispering to a sobbing Max, his own breaths hitching and heaving uncontrollably, on the edge of breaking.
Steve's eyes sting, hidden behind his hands.
He lifts his head up and glances over at Billy, still tracking the side of the road, the edge of the trees. He looks so normal that it almost throws Steve for a loop. He wants to grab Billy by the collar again. Shake him. Scream: what part of this aren't you getting?
"The fuck is going on?" Billy hisses, almost to himself and oh, right.
"Later," Steve promises, hoarsely, digs the heels of his hands into his eyes hard enough to see stars.
"You know what they are?"
"Yeah." Steve says after a great deal of swallowing past the lump in his throat.
If Hargrove's voice betrays even a hint of emotion Steve knows he's gonna fucking lose it. Luckily, the guy keeps his shit together so Steve can keep a lid on his.
"You know what kills them?" Billy continues.
"Heat," Dustin says, voice thick, "And, like, bullets."
Billy nods, "Alright, how warm are we talking?"
"They don't like warm weather or daylight, but I don't think it kills them. Weakens them, maybe. Sends them underground."
"Fire will." Steve says, pulling at his hair until it hurts, dragging himself out of foggy despair and into the present where he's needed. He accidentally runs his gaze past Karen's body and tries not to dry-heave.
Mike is still crying behind him and god fuck, they should get out of here. The kid shouldn't be seeing this.
"Where do we go?" Max whispers, like she read his mind. She sounds as lost as Steve feels.
Billy revs the engine and turns to Steve, "Any requests?"
Steve thinks about the huge empty house waiting for him, a gaping nightmare at the edge of the woods. He balks at the thought.
Where the fuck do we go?
"Just get us out of Hawkins."
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What if Jeff was a werebear, a Grizzly, and thought of it as a horrible curse, but in the fog he's slowly comming to accept that it isn't so bad, since he can defend his friends from the killers by looking up at the permanent full moon in the fog and turning into a huge, pissed off bearman? Would the others survivors be willing to accept Jeff after they learn his secret?
this is a really interesting idea! i’m sorry i grouped some of the survs together, i really struggled with this for some reason!
Werebear!Jeff & other survivors headcanons
I see the survivors splitting into three groups depending on how they react to the revelation: either they accept Jeff and get closer to him, or they’re wary and distance themselves, or they just shrug and laugh it off.
The sweethearts:
Kate adores animals and will be even more affectionate than usual. She loves petting the bear and some of it leaks over into Jeff’s human form, where she’ll sometimes just plop down next to him and start carding her hands through his hair.
Jake won’t be bothered in the slightest. After Jeff has come clean and explained to the rest of the camp what a horrible curse it is, Jake will awkwardly pipe up: “So is this a bad time to ask when you can turn me?”. Jeff refuses but Jake keeps pestering him, and at least he doesn’t have to worry about Jake being disgusted by him.
Cheryl was there when Jeff first transformed in a trial, and while the two others panicked, she just stared, suppressing a yawn. It’s not even in the top 10 of disturbing shit she’s seen and she doesn’t treat him any differently, even going as far as to call out anyone who starts avoiding him.
Claudette worries a lot, but where most of the others are scared of the bear, she’s worried about Jeff himself. She’ll always try to talk him out of transforming even if it costs the team’s lives, because the transformation looks so painful.
Adam is really curious about his condition and will ask questions even Jeff doesn’t know the answer to. Adam will eventually conclude the bear harmless and that Jeff is in full control when he transforms. Not everyone believes his assessment, but Jeff is grateful nonetheless.
Bill and Yui recognize the strategic advantage and are willing to put their own initial hesitance aside to accept Jeff for the greater good. They’ll be happy to let Jeff distract the killer in trials and don’t treat him any differently than before.
The memesters:
Ace, upon seeing Jeff transform, doesn’t even miss a beat: “You know before, when I called you a bear, I didn’t mean like the animal, I meant in the gay—” “YES THANK YOU ACE we get it!” an annoyed Jane will interrupt. Any time Jeff is in the trial, Ace has a field day with bear jokes. “You could say we... bearly made it,” he’ll quip after a lucky escape.
Steve lacks any form of self-preservation and just goes “Dude, that’s badass!” and tries to give the bear a goddamn fist bump. He’ll prank the killers, getting chased on purpose and then leading the killer to where bear-Jeff is lying in wait.
Feng will, somehow, come up with a perk to let them interact with Jeff’s bear form in trials. She’s usually seen riding on the bear’s back, charging at the killer with a battle cry or just using him to move around the map faster. Since she’s easily the smallest and lightest survivor, Jeff barely notices her weight and is not quite sure what she means when she says her “class” is a “beastmaster”.
Ash just rolls with it. He’ll egg Jeff on to transform in trials even when he doesn’t need to, and tries to dare bear-Jeff to do the dumbest shit. Once, he succeeded in convincing a transformed Jeff to let the killer down him just because he wanted to see Frank struggle to hook the massive animal.
Quentin zones out with a frown, not reacting to the initial revelation. A heartbeat later, he perks up and asks “Sooo... just how bad can you hurt the killers?”, eyes shining with endless possibilities of revenge. Jeff refuses to go through with some of the teen’s more gruesome ideas, but he might have “accidentally” “ran into” Freddy a time or two and thrown the mauled corpse at a gleeful Quentin’s feet.
The scaredy-cats:
Dwight wants to think he knows better than to judge a book by its cover. He’ll try not to let his cowardice get in the way of his interactions with Jeff, but it’s painfully obvious to everyone involved that Dwight is just trying not to shit his pants.
Jane and Tapp are scared for the others, considering Jeff unpredictable while in his bear form. They’ll often be seen hovering in the distance when some of the others get too close, especially Feng and Kate, and will go behind Jeff’s back and encourage everyone to keep a distance—not out of spite, but out of concern for the others.
Meg and David are angry that Jeff has kept the secret from them for so long. They’re not afraid of him or anything, but they feel betrayed and become snappy towards him.
Nea is scared, even if she won’t admit it. Jeff is and will always be her bro back at camp, but in trials she starts avoiding him, sometimes even going as far as to duck down and sneak away if she sees him approaching.
Nancy is wary. She always liked Jeff as a person, but she’s seen enough monsters for a lifetime and is hesitant to trust him again.
Laurie and Zarina pretend not to be bothered by the revelation, but unconsciously start avoiding Jeff, their survival instincts screaming to keep a distance from the dangerous animal.
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NYC Midnight 1000-word flashfic comp - Round 2
So - here’s my entry for the 2nd round of the comp:
Genre: Suspense
Location: a playground
Must contain object: a night light
Rated: T
Warnings: a bit of horror imagery and the protagonist is a 9 year old girl.
Credits: to the Little Monster (that’s my daughter), who gave me an inspirational idea. Make of it what you will. :D
The Trail Back Home
“Here, sweetie, have some more. It’s your favourite. Just how you like it, more cheese than macaroni.” The girl’s mother dipped the stringy goop onto the plate without waiting for an answer, the ladle trembling against the china.
“Sit down, Lorna.” Her dad reproached yet again. “Eat something.”
The movement of his own fork remained sporadic, his eyes fixed on his daughter hunched over in her chair across the table. She looked smaller than she did a week ago, fitting ill into the outline of the carefree child that dwelled in his mind.
“Doc Woodsman gave me a call again today,” he said. “Wanted to know if you remembered anything, sunshine?”
“No, dad. I was just lost. All I remember is lotsa trees, and being real cold and tired.”
She looked cold and tired still, wane and flaxen, as if her natural golden light remained lost in the damned woods, which began just on the other side of the road, beyond the playground.
“Don’t push her, Jeff,” his wife interrupted his fretting. Then she turned back to their little girl. “What would you like for breakfast, honey?”
“I don’t mind.” She shrugged over the still-full plate. “Just not porridge, OK?” Her brown eyes stared into her parents’ drawn faces. “May I be excused?”
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She couldn’t stomach her favourite food any more than she could stomach lying to her mum and dad. But in her nine short years on earth (and would she even reach the longed-for double digits?) she grew an instinct on what she could and couldn’t tell her parents. Telling them of that clearing, with its hunter’s shack, in the depths of the forest, was firmly in the “couldn’t” category. She felt it, in their careful voices and their clinging hands, that her disappearance from the playground had shaken the safety of their world. The knowledge of what she saw in that cosy shack - of what she ran from, with sleep in her eyes and feet tangling in the undergrowth – was beyond anything her parents could accommodate without sending her to doctors and shrinks. And, maybe, to the padded shadow-less cells, and jackets with straps.
She wasn’t going to end up there, no matter how many nights she spent staring at the pool of star-speckled blue cast by her night-light, wishing that the intensity of her stare would counteract the paranoid straining of her ears. Yet, they mercilessly picked up the creaks of the chain of the swing in the playground, the scratches against the metal slide, the rhythmic clack and grind of the tiny merry-go-round. It could’ve been the wind playing like a toddler, tossing handfuls of nature’s flotsam, but she knew that, if she could listen just a little bit harder, she would catch the bellow of her stalkers’ nostrils, as they sought the tell-tale signs of her presence.
She had loved that playground. It was the base camp from which all her adventures began. Starting with the treks to the sandpit and the seesaw, then the conquests of the tallest mountains: the monkeybars, the spiderweb. Later still, towards the edge of the woods to explore the wispy paths left by beings unseen and, heretofore, unthreatening.
Mindful of her parents’ admonitions, she had never ventured farther than the reach of voices. Until last week. Until that foolish second, or third, or twentieth turn she took in pursuit of some quarry that she could, now, barely recall. And then she was lost.
And then she was found by a grizzly snout and five curved razors.
The night was here again. She could no longer avoid the rituals of soap and toothpaste and pyjamas, no matter how much she whined to remain in the living room. Her parents were adamant in their hope that a good night’s sleep would restore their joyful golden girl. So, she was back in her bed, with her eyes burning in the night-light’s glow, and dread mixing with the macaroni-and-cheese in her stomach, waiting for the sounds of shuffling and grunting and scratching to return.
When they did, she was empty. The terror had eaten out her insides surer than the monsters would have. There was nothing left now, except hollow determination: her trespass had created the trail back to her, and it was up to her to erase it.
She left the swirl of the calming light behind, as she slipped out the window to drop onto the dirt beneath the starry void. The playground across the road was stark in the absence of movement or sound. It was here though. One of them. A dark mass curled by the slide, its bulk swallowing the forlorn rays that still streaked from the window of her room, begging for her to return.
She approached on tiptoes, legs barely moving. Her voice was even more reluctant to comply, croaking instead of calling.
“Why did you follow me? What do you want?”
The shape stirred and rumbled.
“Look, I am sorry I came into your home. I was lost and tired and hungry. I am sorry I ate your food and broke your chair and slept on your bed. I promise, I’ll never ever bother you again! So, would you please leave me alone now?”
The thing rolled out with a stunning speed and unfurled in front of her, standing on its hind paws, its snout barely level with her chest. Its yellow gleaming eyes looked up at her. The black pebble of its nose twitched and snuffled down her arm to her hand. Then the bear cub sat back on its haunches and mewled like an overgrown cat in need of food and scritches.
“What are you doing here?” Goldilocks said, horror evaporating into lightheadedness. “Are you lost?”
The little bear mewled again, this time in agreement.
Goldilocks smiled and reached down to touch its paw.
“Well, lets first find you some food and, then, the way home.”
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Cogs, dats and one grizzly
I’ve technically never had a dog of my own, but my parents are currently the proud parents of the their third canine baby, and I consider her, just like the previous two, a sister of mine. I’ve seriously thought about getting myself a non-human best friend at some point, but like in most important things in life, I haven’t been able to decide if I prefer cats or dogs. I just like all kinds of animals, big and small.
Anyway, my previous canine sister, Loulou, was the kindest creature ever known, when it came to humans (apart from the vet). My mom often said she was like a sheep, always following, agreeing to things, and just being a friend. And yet, the one thing she couldn’t stand was cats.
In this week’s vlog, Rhett and Link introduce Barbara and Jade to a cute ginger cat called Fireball. Since after seeing a glimpse of Jade in the last week’s vlog my thought was I wouldn’t mind seeing her and Barbara for a full vlog, this was kind of a dream come true. It’s not a given that two female dogs become best friends, and these two furballs are doggo friendship goals. They may also be even cuter than their dads. It does seem like Rhett is slowly turning into a fluffy dog himself, but at this point, I think Barbara carries her fur with more elegance.
Since today’s vlog was filmed at Rhett’s house, and my commentary on last week’s vlog almost turned into an interior design blog post, I want to say a few words on Rhett’s decor. His house appears to be a bit more a mixture of styles, with loads of earthy colours, red and many paintings. I remember him saying in the episode of LTAT where Stevie painted a portrait of Jessie and Christy that Jessie likes to collect portraits, and that is apparent in their house. There are fewer house plants than at Link’s place, but more interesting objects. My initial thought is that this house looks more effortlessly stylish than Link’s. I personally prefer Link’s house, because it was such a calming space, but this house looks like a good house to live in for someone who isn’t quite as specific about things being a certain way as Link. My favourite thing in Rhett’s house is the amount of books. I’m a book-lover, and when ever I see a house with actual books in actual bookshelves these days, it makes me appreciate them more. End of interior decor talk, back to the dogs.
Okay, Link thinks Rhett looks like Grizzly Adams, and to be fair, he ain’t wrong. Since we already know that Rhett’s hair has taken his breath away, and he also does not dislike it even in it’s messiest, fluffiest state, I think the mountain man look is growing on him, despite his constant efforst to prove us otherwise.
I have the capacity to love all creatures regardless of their species, so I don’t really like Rhett repeating how much he hates cats. Hate is such a strong word to use for anything less evil than maybe other humans who use their powers to hurt others. As I said, I don’t have pets, but my neighbour’s cat sometimes visits me, and although we’ve never been officially introduced, she likes to jump on my shoulder to nap, and that is possibly the sweetest thing I can imagine. So, calling a cat a devil’s spawn - even for comedic effect - rubs me the wrong way. Thankfully, Link eases the tension by focusing our attention and his camera on more important things - Rhett’s beard.
“You look like a wookie!”
Fireball behaves like a well behaved, curious cat, getting to know every nook and cranny in Rhett’s living room. And since I tend to be at least as curious, I did my best to see what sort of books his family reads. Turns out, most of the books are about interior design, but I also spotted The New Jim Crow, Fear by Bob Woodward, Walden, Harry Potter, and the Wood Book to name a few.
What we learned today is that both Jade and Barbara prefer people over cats, but Jade is not opposed to making a friendly connection with cats. She sees Fireball as a new friend to play with, who is a little different from her other friends, but equally interesting. “But why doesn’t the new friend want to play with me, Dad?”
I don’t believe in dogs and cats having a genetic aversion to each other, even though they are usually described as mortal enemies. Even my parents’ dog, Loulou, had a very good reason for her dislike of the feline kind: she was once slapped in the eye by a wild cat. Loulou reacted to cats very much the same way as Barbara.
I was going to claim Rhett’s dislike for cats must have rubbed on Barbara, but then I realized one thing. Dogs are very territorial. Jade is a guest in Rhett’s house, and therefore knows it’s not her place to protect the house from other guests. Barbara, on the other hand, is not familiar with this new guest who she has never met before, and it’s her job to keep Rhett and his house and family safe. There is an intruder in the house, on her territory, and she acts like a good guard dog should: alerts her family, and tries to chase him away. It would be fascinating from an animal behavioral perspective to see, what would happen if this same experiment was conducted in Link’s house. Then again, I think Jade is the submissive one in the relationship, and it’s very possible Barbara thinks of Link’s house equally as her domain. Thankfully, Fireball seems to be not too traumatized by this meeting.
In conclusion, I think the one who needs to be more exposed to cats is Rhett. I think they should do a vlog on going to a cat cafe (there surely are some in L.A.) in the near future, without the dogs. And maybe, next time trying to introduce Barbara to unknown animals, do it in a neutral territory. To end this post, here is a lovely family portrait of the four of them together. I’m still very open to more doggy vlogs, and I can’t wait to see what the guys come up with next week!
#rhett and link#rhett and link vlog#vlog 2#barbara and jade#mythical dogs#the one where their dogs meet a cat for the first time
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-admin elliott version-
my turn! like hidari said, we just copied and pasted this ask meme because we’re unapologetically lazy.
under the cut, because i love nothing more than to talk about myself and i don’t wanna clog your feed:
if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?
fuckk me. okay, hmm. well, first you’d have to absorb any and all content about My Man Alex(ander the Great) (<<we’re on a first-name basis) and i’m a huge fucking greco-roman nerd. then you’d listen to lady gaga and system of a down and baroque chamber and miles davis, and watch all of buzzfeed unsolved at LEAST twice. i enjoy classical literature, but then also dark stuff. so besides what i mention below, pick up some Bukowski, some Vonnegut, Up Jumps the Devil by Michael Poore, and as much trashy gay fanfiction as you can consume.
have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?
ah, this is a difficult one. Kerouac is pretty close, along with Richard Siken and a splash of Vonnegut.
list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.
i hyperfixate on fandoms, so i’m not currently involved in many?
yuri on ice = otabek altin and yuri plisetsky
the iliad (don’t laugh at me i know i’m awful) = hector
star wars = kylo aka trash son
do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?
i picked elliott so i mean
do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?
pass
are you religious/spiritual?
first chunk of my life i was raised roman catholic, but i’m not really religious anymore. i do hold some spiritual beliefs, though.
do you care about your ethnicity?
i’m very, very white, but my mother was adopted so now we’re trying to reconnect with the cultural background she never experienced as a child? mainly greek and russian jew, but again i’m just a european mut. white people jokes are so much fun, too.
what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?
UGHHH this is so difficult. i like SOAD, but for a while Timber Timbre was my shit. and - this is so nerdy - johann sebastian bach 4ever.
are you an artist?
i try to be. i’m actually in the process of becoming a tattoo apprentice, after i dropped out of art school ;;_;; i recently made an art insta so i’m gonna plug it, too. follow me @homericink ;)
do you have a creed?
“you catch more flies with honey than vinegar”
describe your ideal day.
i wake up early after a good night’s rest. i play with my dogs for a little bit outside, and i read some on the hammock. then i come inside and work on an art project. i get shitty fast food with my friends, and i come home and write until i’m tired. since this is an idea day, my insomnia is gone and i go to bed by midnight and sleep soundly.
dog person or cat person?
dog person! (don’t get me wrong, though. i love kitties, too!) dogs can be total spazzes, full of silly energy and endless amounts of love, and they’re so trusting! i always joke that people have done nothing to deserve dogs, and it’s true. they are so pure and good and all they want is someone to love them?? i like how they’re more hands-on, and you can literally wrestle with them and they’ll smile up at you with a big slobbery grin ^_^ cats are too similar to people for me - i want to work to be worthy of an animal friend that’s better than me.
inside or outdoors?
outdoors as a concept, inside in practice.
are you a musician?
yep! technically i can play five different instruments, but i have two primary ones: violin and mandolin.
five most influential books over your lifetime.
FUCKKKKKKK ONLY FIVE????? come talk to me about books pls
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Watership Down by Richard Adams
Iliad by Homer
The Devil All the Time by Donald Ray Pollock
if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?
not at all, man. situations i was thrust into as a kid definitely shaped who i am, but i’ve made my peace with it.
would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?
“tumblr” me is much more organized than i am in real life. i have comorbid ocd and adhd, which is much easier to manage online than irl. i am a disaster human™
what’s your patronus?
this one is tough. either a billy goat, a black or grizzly bear, or a shark.
which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?
i’m a staunch slytherin!
would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?
MIDDLE EARTH!!! every autumn when the leaves start falling, i get the biggest tolkien hard-on and i just. *sighs wistfully*
do you love easily?
i… hm. i form super close, super intense platonic relationships easily, and i’d die for a number of people in my life. but i still don’t understand romantic love? i have a hard time recognizing it in myself.
list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.
thinking & pacing, art/music/writing, talking, lying awake in bed from insomnia, smothering my dogs with love.
how often would you want to see your family every year?
i, too, am living with my family now that i’m back from college. and i like certain family members more than others so idk.
have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?
nah
could you live as a hermit?
nah
how would you describe your gender/sexuality?
queer
do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?
i look like a twinky art student with transition lenses, 13 piercings and 2 tattoos so, almost? i also feel like i should have a bar of soap in my mouth at all times
on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?
i’d say like a solid 2. ocd is a bitch like that
three songs that you connect with right now.
On Our Knees - Konoba
Bored - Deftones
I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) from the Treasure Planet soundtrack ;;_;;
pick one of your favorite quotes.
"I'm free, I think. I shut my eyes and think hard and deep about how free I am, but I can't really understand what it means. All I know is I'm totally alone. All alone in an unfamiliar place, like some solitary explorer who's lost his compass and his map. Is this what it means to be free?"
- Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
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PinkPossibly’s Halloween Master Post
It’s that time of year again friends, Halloween!!! So here’s a huge list of Halloween cartoons. Be careful for popups and always make sure to click out of them right away! But other than that, these links are totally safe lol i use them all the time!
Adventure Time - The Creeps
Adventure Time - From Bad to Worse
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters! - The Switching Hour
All Grown Up - Interview with a Campfire
Almost Naked Animals - Howieween
Almost Naked Animals - Hotel of Horrors
Angry Beavers - The Day the World got Really Screwed Up
Alvin and the Chipmunks Meets Frankenstein
Alvin and the Chipmunks Meets the Wolfman
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Trick or Treason
Angela Anaconda - The Haunting of Angela Anaconda
Animaniacs - Scare Happy Slappy/Witch One/Macbeth
Arthur - Hic or Treat
Baby Looney Tunes - Log Cabin Fever/Mid Autumn Night’s Scream
Beetlejuice Series
Berenstain Bears - The Haunted Lighthouse
Bob’s Burgers - Full Bars
Bob’s Burgers - Fort Night
Bob’s Burgers - Tina and the Real Ghost
Bob’s Burgers - The Hauntening
Bob’s Burgers - Teen-a-Witch
Winnie the Pooh - Boo to you Too!
Brandy and Mr. Whiskers - Curse of the Vampire Bat/ The Monkey’s Paw
Bugs Bunny’s Howl-oween Special
Bunnicula Series
Camp Lazlo - Hallobeanies
Casper’s Halloween Special
Catdog - Catdogula
Catscratch - Scaredy Cat
Chalkzone - Pumpkin Love/Chip of Fools/Irresistible/Please Let Me In
Chowder - The Spookiest House in Marzipan/Poultrygeist
Claymation Comedy of Horrors Show
Codename: Kids Next Door - T.r.i.c.k.y/Transcript
Coraline
Corpse Bride
Count Duckula Series
Courage the Cowardly Dog Season 1
Courage the Cowardly Dog Season 2
Courage the Cowardly Dog Season 3
Courage the Cowardly Dog Season 4
Cow and Chicken - Halloween with Dead Ghosts/Coast to Coast
Daddy, I’m a Zombie
Daddy, I’m a Zombie 2
Danny Phantom - Fright Night
Daria - Legends of the Mall
Dave the Barbarian - That Darn Ghost/The Cow Says Moon
Dear Dracula
Doug - Halloween Special
Duck Tales - Ducky Horror Picture Show
Extraordinary Tales
Fairly Oddparents - Scary Oddparents
Fish Hooks - Halloween Haul
Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends - Nightmare on Wilson Way
Frankenweenie
Freaky Stories Series
Garfield in Disguise
Ghost Stories
Gravedale High Series
Gravity Falls - Summerween
Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids Season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Groovie Goolies Series
Growing Up Creepie Series
Halloween is Grinch Night
Disney’s Halloween Treat
Hey Arnold! - Arnold’s Halloween
Hey Arnold! - Ghost Bride
Hey Arnold! - Headless Cabbie/Friday the 13th
Hotel Transylvania
House of Mouse: Villains
House of Mouse - Halloween with Hades
Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom
I am Weasel - I am Vampire
I am Weasel - I am Franken-Weasel
Inspector Gadget - Haunted Castle
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!
Looney Tunes - Jeepers Creepers
Jackie Chan Adventures - Chi of the Vampire
Jackie Chan Adventures - Fright Fight Night
Johnny Bravo - Frankenbravo
Johnny Test - Johnny Trick or Treat
Kid vs Kat - Trick or Threat
Kid vs Kat - House of Scream
Kim Possible - October 31st
Lilo and Stitch Series - Spooky
Little Bear: Halloween Stories
Looney Tunes - Transylvania 6-5000
Looney Tunes - A Haunting We Will Go
Looney Tunes - Hyde and Hare
Looney Tunes - Scaredy Cat
Mad Monster Party?
Men In Black - Jack-o-Lantern
Monster House
Monster in my Pocket: The Big Scream
Monsters vs Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space
Moville Mysteries Series
Mr. Bean - Halloween
Mr. Meaty - Nightmare on Josh Street
Muppet Babies - Is there a Muppet in the House?
My Gym Partner’s a Monkey - The Scary Old Custodian
Night of the Living Carrots
Night of the Living Doo
Open Season: Scared Silly
Over the Garden Wall Series
Pac Man - Trick or Chomp
Pac Man - Pacula
Paranorman
PB&J Otter: A Hoohaw Halloween
Pepper Ann - A Tween Halloween/Mash Into Me
Phineas and Ferb - The Monster of Phineas and Ferbenstein
Phineas and Ferb - One Good Scare Outta Do It
Phineas and Ferb - That’s the Spirit!
Pinky and the Brain - Halloween
Raggedy Ann and the Pumpkin Who Couldn’t Smile
Recess - Terrifying Tales of Recess
Regular Show - Terror Tales of the Park 1
Regular Show - Terror Tales of the Park 2
Regular Show - Terror Tales of the Park 3
Regular Show - Terror Tales of the Park 4
Regular Show - Terror Tales of the Park 5
Rocket Power - The Night Before/Violet’s Violet
Rocco’s Modern Life - Sugar Frosted Frights/ Ed is Dead
Rugrats - Candy Bar Creep Show/Monster in the Garage
Sabrina (1999) - Nothin’ Says Somethin’ Like Lovin’ Somethin’ From a Coven
Salad Fingers
Scared Shrekless
Scaredy Squirrel - The Stackinator/Halloweekend
Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular
Scary Godmother: Revenge of Jimmy
Scooby Doo Where Are You? Season 1, 2, 3
Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders
Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase
Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School
Scooby Doo and the Witch’s Ghost
Scooby Doo meets the Boo Brothers
Scooby Doo on Zombie Island
Scream Street Series
Season’s Greetings
Shawn the Sheep - Little Sheep of Horrors
Shawn the Sheep - The Visitor
Shawn the Sheep - Things That go Bump
Shawn the Sheep - Phoney Farmer
Shrek’s Thrilling Tales
Snorks - A Willie Scary Shalloween
Spongebob Squarepants - The Graveyard Shift
Spongebob Squarepants - Scardy Pants
Spongebob Squarepants - Ghoul Fools
Spongebob Squarepants - Don’t Look Now/Seance Schmeance
Spookley the Square Pumpkin
Spooky Bats and Scardy Cats
Stoked - Penthouse of Horror
Tales from the Cryptkeeper Series
Tales from the Far Side
Teacher’s Pet - The Tale of the Telltale Taffy
The Adams Family Series (1973)
The Adams Family Series (1992)
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius - Nightmare in Retroville
The Buzz on Maggie - The Big Score
The Buzz on Maggie - Scare Wars
The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
The Daffy Duck Show - The Duxorcist
The Daffy Duck Show - Night of the Living Duck
The Emperor's New School - Kuzcoween
The Fat Albert Halloween Special
The Flinstone Kids - Frankenstone
The Flinstones - A Haunted House is not a Home
The Flinstones Meet Rockula and Frankenstone
The Flinstones New Neighbors
The Garfield Show - Orange and Black/Freaky Monday
The Great Bear Scare
The Grim Adventures of Bill and Mandy - Billy and Mandy’s Jacked up Halloween
The Halloween Tree
The Haunted Pumpkin of Sleepy Hollow
The Ketchup Vampires
The Mask - All Hallows Eve
The Mr. Men Show - Outer Space
The New Archies - I was a 12 year Old Werewolf
The New Super Mario World - Ghosts R Us
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Pig Who Cried Werewolf
The Pink Panther - Pink Panic
The Pink Panther - Pink Plasma
The Proud Family - A Hero for Halloween
The Replacements - Halloween Spirits
The Scooby Doo Show
The Simpsons Tree House of Horror - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
The Smurfs: The Legend of Smurfy Hollow
The Super Mario Bros Super Show - Koopenstein
The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald: Scared Silly
The Wild Thornberrys - Blood Sisters
The Wild Thornberrys - Spirited Away
The Wrong Trousers
Thriller Night (Shrek)
Time Squad - Every Poe has a Silver Lining
Tiny Toons: Night Ghoulery
Tom and Jerry Kid’s Show - The Ghost of Castle McLochjaw
Tom and Jerry Kid’s Show - Doom Manor
Tom and Jerry Kid’s Show - McWolfula
Tom and Jerry Kid’s Show - McWolfenstein
Tom and Jerry Kid’s Show - Haunted Droopy
Totally Spies - Halloween
Toy Story of Terror
Wander over Yonder - The Pet
Wander over Yonder - The Gift 2: The Giftening
Witch’s Night Out
Zombie Hotel Series
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Beard
A/N: For the lovely em1ree who was very deserving of some fluff! and requested superfamily + bearded Steve. Here’s a little drabble set in LIDverse!
It started off innocuously enough. Tony barely noticed it in the beginning. A tickle against his cheek in the morning, a tiny glint of blonde in the sunlight where there wasn't usually anything at all. It was barely more than five o'clock shadow, and Tony didn't find it unusual that his husband had forgotten to shave on a morning or two lately. He didn't ever forget to shave, but even though Steve was Steve and that meant he was all kinds of superhuman crazy that Tony couldn't even begin to ennumerate, he was still, at the core of it, human.
But quickly, things changed. One day it was five o'clock shadow, and the next it was suddenly stubble. Which like, woah. Stubble on Steve was Sexy with a capital S, and Tony was so down for that. It was odd, feeling the rough drag of stubble against his cheek when they kissed (or against, well, other locales, occasionally), stubble that wasn't his--but not a bad odd, by any stretch. Tony was, overall, pleased by this development. He teased Steve about it a bit, but it was nothing more than his usual ribbing. Peter, by contrast, had no mercy.
"You look weird," Peter said bluntly one day after waltzing in the door of the house. It was the first thing he'd said to them in person in a month at least--college was keeping him busy. Before hello, before how are you, before any kind of pleasantry, Peter had disparaged the scruff.
Ah, Tony thought fondly, he really was his son.
"I like it," Steve replied that day with a frown, feeling it with his fingers.
"I think it's sexy," Tony had added, and kissed his husband just to prove it. Peter pretended to gag, and that was it for discussion about the scruff. Tony figured Steve would get bored of it eventually and shave it off--but the thing of it was, Steve didn't stop at the stubble.
Stubble and scruff quickly moved into beard territory. The scritch-scratch traded for something just a little less rough, a little less wiry. It got a bit long and more impressive and, well, Tony didn't not like it, really, but he also wasn't exactly sure how to feel about it. Steven Grant Rogers was always clean-shaven, and while the stubble and scruff had felt like an adventurous deviation, this felt more like a minor personality change. There was a reason Tony hadn't changed his goatee since 1993--it was part of him, part of his personality.
"Is there...something I should know about?" Tony asked his husband one morning. Steve was toweling off his beard, which really was a beard now, with little blonde hairs, all just a few shades darker than what was on his husband's head. Steve blinked at him, oblivious.
"...No?" Steve said, phrasing it more as a question. His forehead wrinkled, and he frowned, getting concerned over Tony's concern in the weird, endless looping way that they had. Tony just shook his head.
“Never mind,” he said, and his husband didn’t ask about whatever it was that had prompted Tony’s question.
But, really, Tony was partly concerned. Stubble and scruff, fine—but a beard? A beard on Steve? Was he having some kind of identity crisis? Was he getting exhausted by everyday tasks? Was he depressed? Well, all right, Tony kind of doubted that. With Peter away at college, they had more time alone now than they’d had in…well, since Peter had been born, so almost ever, really. And if their evening activities (which, really, had become morning activities and afternoon activities and middle-of-the-night activities—was it more accurate to say bedroom activities? Tony supposed not, considering their bedroom activities were also kitchen activities and living room activities and workshop activities, and…) were anything to go by, Steve was happy enough. But Tony worried over it as the beard only seemed to grow, with no explanation ever offered from his husband.
He found himself googling. He googled ridiculous things, and he felt like some middle-aged housewife reading a Cosmo article on how to tell if your husband is cheating on you. Of course, that wasn’t what he was googling. He was googling things about the psychology of beards. He was googling about mid-life crises. He was googling barbers, because maybe Steve was just sick of shaving? As time wore on, the beard only got longer, and Tony fretted more. But he didn’t want to ask Steve about it. Not directly. He didn’t want Steve to feel weird about it after all, and wouldn’t it be an odd double standard if Tony, who had always had a goatee, demanded to know why Steve was growing a beard? Still, he tried to ask in more subtle ways.
“It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a good haircut. I think I might head to the barber—would you like to come with me?” Tony offered one day. Steve just smiled at him and then flipped to the next page in his newspaper.
“I’m all right, thanks. Are you sure you need a haircut? It doesn’t look too long to me,” Steve said, and that was the end of that particular attempt. He tried dropping other crumbs, hoping Steve might follow him to the proper destination, but Steve never did, and the beard only grew and grew as Tony got slowly more anxious about it. Before he knew it, here was Steve, with a beard that Paul Bunyan would envy, and there was Tony, utterly baffled. The feeling of a soft beard on the back of his neck when his husband would sneak up behind him and demand attention was an odd sensation. Seeing Steve with a face full of hair was even weirder. But Tony stayed quiet. Painfully, desperately curious, but quiet.
Peter, bless him, did not.
“What is on your face?” Peter demanded when he walked in the door some afternoon and spotted his fathers sitting together on the living room couch. Steve scowled at him while Tony bit back a laugh.
“It’s my beard,” Steve said. “I like it.”
“It’s alive, I think,” Peter said dubiously. “Are you rivaling Gandalf, is that what’s going on here? You know the facial hair isn’t what makes him magical.”
“Ha ha,” Steve replied dryly. “Should I tell you the messy hair does not the Harry Potter make?”
“Is this what a midlife crisis looks like? Dad, why are you letting Pops have a midlife crisis?” Peter asked, throwing his school bag on the floor and plopping in the recliner next to them.
“Oh for the love of Pete, it’s not that ridiculous!” Steve said, frowning. He felt his beard with one hand, like a villain from a 1970s cartoon. “Tony, tell him it’s not that ridiculous.” Tony opened his mouth, and he meant to say something, he really did, but nothing came out. Steve narrowed his eyes. “Tony?”
“Wellllll,” Tony said slowly. Steve looked at him, incredulous.
“But you love my beard,” he insisted. “Tony?”
“I don’t not love your beard,” Tony offered, and Steve threw his hands up in the air.
“You loved my beard when I first started growing it,” Steve said.
“Right, well beards are different when you first start growing them and then they get progressively different when you’ve reached the level of Grizzly Adams,” Tony pointed out. “But mostly I just—why the beard? It’s fine—”
“It is not fine,” Peter interrupted. “You’ve got an entire cat on your face.”
“—but it made me wonder why the change,” Tony said, throwing Peter a Look, which Peter promptly shrugged off. Steve scowled and looked straight ahead.
For a moment, Tony believed he might have finally pissed off his husband enough that he wouldn’t say anything at all, but then, slowly, Steve ground out,
“I got carded.”
It took a moment for that to sink in, but the moment that it did, Tony found himself biting his lip and Peter, well, Peter was doubled over in laughter.
“You—you got carded, so you grew a beard?”
“I have a son in college for Christ’s sake!” Steve groaned. “I have a son in college, and I got carded buying a beer while I was out with Sam.”
“Oh my God,” Peter wheezed.
“I was born in 1920,” Steve said, then buried his face in his hands and shook his head. “19-goddamn-20. I was 13 when Prohibition ended and I’m getting carded at the local divebar. Unbelievable.”
“So you grew a beard?” Tony said in a somewhat strangled voice, trying desperately not to join his son in laughing. Steve sat back up, removing his face from his hands.
“Beards make you look older, doesn’t every twelve-year-old boy know that? It was stupid, but I got carded. Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t like it?” Steve demanded. “Does no one like it?”
“Natasha thinks it’s sexy,” Tony said. “Clint calls you Yosemite Sam behind your back. Believe me, I’ve told him this is unfair as Yosemite Sam’s facial hair more strongly resembles a mustache, but he doesn’t listen.” Tony grinned and put a hand on his husband’s hairy cheek. “I liked the rugged look for a bit, but really I think I just prefer my Steve the way he’s always been. But you do what makes you happy.” He leaned in and gave Steve a chaste kiss—their son was in the room, after all. That didn’t stop said son from giving them a massive eye-roll, however.
“Don’t. Don’t do what makes you happy. Shave it off before the hobos take you for one of their own,” Peter insisted. Steve groaned again and leaned his head against Tony’s shoulder.
“Yosemite Sam, huh?”
“Yup.”
Steve shaved off the beard the next morning.
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How would Grizz and Ice Bear become a couple, and what would their first kiss be like? How does Panda react?
Okay… Nebulousariahere. I want to address something before we get started.It’s about how certain people HATE shipping the bears together.Whether it’s because they find breaking their brotherly bondunwholesome. Whether it’s because those people find incestdeplorable, disgusting, what have you. Before you pick upyour torches and pitch forks and start hunting for witches, allow meto address these things right now.
Will any romanticrelationship ever arise between the bears? Psh, no. It’s going toremain as it is; a story about three brothers who are outsiderstrying to fit in and finding their place in the world.Butthis blog RIGHT HERE is about exploring the different facets of thesecharacters in any way shape or form. This is NOT the show. If youhave a problem with this blog because of bear shipping, then you needto go turn on your T.V and watch the original source material. It’sstill there. Will this ever happen on the show? No, we all know that.Let me repeat: But this is not the show. I hope some ofyou remember that that when you’re bullying people online fortrying to enjoy their favorite characters being explored in ways theyenjoy. I hope you remember this before you go out and you yell atpeople for their “deplorable” and “toxic” ways, saying thatthey’re most likely gross people in real life for shipping certaincharacters together, meanwhile you go and bully people because youyourselves treat fiction like reality. Just because some people shipcertain characters together doesn’t mean they condone incest,emotional abuse in relationships, etc.
Just because agroup of people grow up together doesn’t mean that they are actualbrothers and that their relationship can’t grow into somethingelse. For some reason, you guys were so adamant about protectingtheir precious brotherly love that some of you started actingunwholesome at best and antagonistic at worst. I get that you don’tlike shipping the bears, but harassing people because they do isn’tcool.
If you have aproblem with the way people write certain characters, then justignore it. There’s no point in getting angry over something soharmless.
And remember thatthis also applies to people who get angry at others for writingcertain characters as gay, which normally goes against the canon ofthe show, book, movie, etc. You guys… This is just fiction. Whocares what other people do with it?
I’m sorry Ihad to get all preachy all of a sudden, but the policing that certainpeople commit in fandoms is out of hand. I know that not all of youare like this, but dammit, a lot of you are, and a lot of youantagonized people so much that they left the fandom and watch theshow from a distance, refusing to interact with us and send us askslike these because they’re afraid of getting flack from others. Iknow the person who sent this ask and I won’t reveal their identitybecause – jesus, I’m making it sound like this person is beingkept safe by the secret service or some shit LMAOOO. This is a stupidproblem but hey, people like to make things complicated, don’tthey? That this person used anon to send us this ask speaks volumesabout all this… They even asked me how I felt about bear shippingand after I let them know I’m okay with it, that’s when they toldme that they ship Grizz and Ice Bear. I realize that thisisn’t at the level of Steven Universe fandom insanity, but thatdoesn’t mean I shouldn’t be harsh when addressing these problemsin a different fandom. And hopefully this will get people to comeout and send us more asks like these. To get mine and Sudzee’screative muscles working!Now I have to put the ask in areadmore, oh boy oh boy. Sorry about all that you guys. Well, that’sbasically it! Let’s get things started, shall we?
Itwas so sudden. This feeling of longing after someone. For someone whohe spended nearly every day with. Somehow seeing Grizz laughing,excitedly shouting like a child no longer annoyed the polar bear. Hefound it endearing.
At first, Ice hatedhimself for feeling this way, for succumbing to an emotion he thoughtmade him weak. This was his brother, he always took pride in beinghis older brother, there was no chance that Grizz would ever like himback that way. Ice Bear knew his limitations, and while he had knownhe was gifted in various ways, he believed that Grizz would prefer tobe with someone more verbal, more lively, someone who could actuallymatch his level of energy and excitement.
Ice Bear beganavoiding Grizz, telling himself that these feelings would pass. Yetwherever he went, the grizzly bear followed. To the store, to thekitchen, to the city, through the forest, even his fridge at somepoint. Grizz would talk to him through the closed door, and wouldnever leave until very late. Ice Bear never had the heart to tell himto leave. He even popped up in the bathroom onetime.“Ice Bear is bathing.” Ice said, covering hisbody with the shower curtain.
“Yeah, I know. Ijust… wanted to let you know that meat con is coming around nextThursday.”
Grizz was actinginsufferably bashful. Ice Bear should’ve been the one feelingembarrassed, but Grizz was unorthodox in every way you could thinkof. The polar bear somehow wasn’t surprised at this, just annoyed.
“Ice Bearknows. And Ice Bear was already convinced to go.” Against hisbetter judgment, Ice Bear had agreed to go with Grizz to meat conweeks ago. It was like Grizz had robbed him of his ability to say no.
“Ahhh, yeah,right, totally. It’s just, I wanted to make sure you were still onboard.”
“Leave.”
“Are you for realabout going with me? Like, are you reeeeeally sure? I bought thetickets.” He shoved the tickets just inches away from Ice Bear’swet snout. Ice saw Grizz’s desperate eyes poke out from behind thetwo tickets, seemingly tiny compared to the giant pieces of paper inhis face.
“Ice Bear knowsyou bought the tickets.”
“… Bro?”
“Sigh… Yes.”
“Awesome! This isgonna be so-” And Ice Bear kicked his body through the closed door.They had to get it replaced. Grizz followed him to the departmentstore and back all the way home, to the bathroom door frame. Grizzchattered away at him the whole time while trying to take care offixing everything. Screwing the hinges, holding the door, etc, allbecause he was the big brother, so he should be the one to take careof everything. Despite how haughty that sounded, Ice Bear couldn’tstay mad at him for very long, and Grizz took notice of that. Darnhim. Darn him and his boyish smile.
Meat con was fun,and it made Ice feel nervous, mostly because of the dozens of selfiesthat Grizz wanted to take with him in the same frame. Dozens ofpictures were taken that day. At some point they slammeda rude jerk in the face with a hanging ham and caught it on video.Grizz knew it would go viral, he just knew it. He was exhilarated.When they heard the announcement that there would be acook off, Grizz grabbed Ice Bear and dragged him to the stage. Hedeclared that there was no one he knew who could cook better than his“awesome little bro,” raising his arm above his head in earlyvictory. It garnered a lot of hateful looks, but Ice Bear didn’tmind. He was simply happy to be held in such high esteem by Grizz.And he knew he was right. There wasn’t anyone who could cook betterthan Ice Bear, he knew.
The firedepartment’s sirens could be heard throughout the neighborhoodlater that day. Apparently it was just unseemly for a human to bedefeated by a bear when it comes to cuisine, so one of thecontestants tried to cheat by sabotaging the bear. Unfortunately forhim his plan backfired, literally, and meat con ended in adeliciously scented blaze.
Grizz’s bellyrumbled fiercely as they set off toward the bus, the scent of roastedpork bacon and steak permeating into that characteristic SanFrancisco smog. Grizz told Ice Bear how much fun it was to spend timewith him.
“You’re like thebest person to spend time with. Nothing is ever not exciting with youaround.”
Ice Bear was takenaback. “Ice Bear doesn’t understand.”
“What’s that?”He asked, quirking his head to the side in a very cat-like manner,his boyish smile never fading.
“Ice Bear is…”And for a moment he stopped to take a deep breath to ready what hewas about to say, but Grizz was always quicker to speak.“What’sup, bro? You feeling alright? You’re never this… You never notknow what to say. I mean, you always know what you wanna say. Howcome you’re breathing all weird?”Now it was IceBear’s turn to be confused. He never knew what to say to people.The polar bear had very few words he could ever share with hisbrothers, not to mention strangers. He was quiet because he knew helacked a quality that others took for granted, the ability to havelong conversations with each other. Granted, he felt that mostconversations never really got to the point, and Ice Bear was nothingif not quick and methodical.
But being told healways knew what to say? Him? Silent shadowy Ice Bear? “Ice Bear isalways quiet.”
“Hey, that’strue, but,” he said that last word at length, putting a paw to hischin as though thinking a very deep thought. “when you do talk, youalways say what you mean to say like reeeally fast. I mean, sometimesit doesn’t make any sense, but I like that about you.” He shoutedthat last bit. His smile was wider than usual, and that was sayingsomething. “You’re just… so so sooo cool, dude. Everything thatwe do together is exciting. We take pictures in front of pigs wearinghats, we totally get to wail on jerks who try to pick on you, and weenter cook offs and win! It’s awesome!”
“Ice Bear is…quiet. Is that okay?”
Grizz tilted hishead in confusion. “Whaddya mean?”
“Is it alright forIce Bear to be… silent?”
“Well sure it is!Why wouldn’t it be? People are different, and that’s what’s sofun about life! And it’s what makes you fun too!” He side huggedIce Bear tightly, and when Ice looked down, he thought he saw abright red blush lining Grizz’ snout, but then he thought that itmust’ve been his own and nothing else. “I love spending time with you bro.”
“Really?” “Yeah! Of course it’s true! I like spending time with you more than anything.” He gasped and let go of Ice. “Don’t tell Pan Pan I said that, it would kill him. Ohhh, I can’t pick favorites! I’m the older brother!” Throughout all this he dramatically threw his arms in the air and buried his head in his paws.
And soon IceBear began to feel stupid for feeling so defeatist. That was unlikehim. It was like he forgot how amazing Ice Bear actually was. Ice Bear had a certain suspicion for months by then. Why was Grizz acting more clingy than usual around him, and him alone? Maybe it was a false hope he was feeding himself, but Ice Bear wanted to believe that Grizz’s feelings dug deeper than just a familial bond.
When they got offthe bus and walked toward the cave, Ice hugged Grizz from behind,surprising the big bear.
And unable tocontain himself: “Ice Bear likes Grizz.”
“What? Oh, uh. Ilike you too bro.”
“No… Ice Bear…Likes… Grizz.”
Grizz was quick topick up on what he meant.
“Ohmygosh! Youlike me!?”
Ice Bear felt readyto die before he realized that his brother was excited, not angry.
Grizz tackled him tothe ground, hugging him and nuzzling his chest, telling him how muchhe liked him back.
And then all thosemonths of his older brother clinging to him, finding reasons to spendtime with him, from the biggest events to the most mundane, all of itmade sense. Grizz had feelings for him this whole time.
#THIS was the controversial ask I was talking about before#I don't think it's controversial but some of you might#We Bare Bears#BearShipping#Grizz#Ice Bear#GrizzxIce#I'm sorry it took so long to do this#I hope some of you enjoy it#I hope others hate it and leave bad comments because any attention would be nice at this point of not updating after a while LOL#Sorry for only answering one part of the ask btw. I feel like those asks should be their own separate part. Ask that same last two questions#again if you please#I'll try my best to have them answered#shipping discourse
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Cartoon Network’s 2017 Lineup
This year Cartoon Network will be premiering 6 new shows as well as renewing 7 currently running shows from new seasons and the list looks amazing!
(New) Apple & Onion – Being new and naïve to the ways of the “big city of sophisticated food” doesn’t stop the wide-eyed enthusiasm of the lovable buddies Apple and Onion who are destined to find their way and make lots of friends on their incredible adventure of life.
(New) Craig of the Creek – At the Creek, the rules of the outside world don’t apply in this kid utopia of untamed wilderness where Craig and his two best friends have ventured and tribes of children reign over tree forts and dirt bike ramps.
(New) Summer Camp Island – Having completed a momentous and critically acclaimed run at this year’s most notable festivals, including the Sundance Film Festival and SXSW, this wildly imaginative animated series, based on the original Cartoon Network short, will continue unfolding the mysteries that Oscar and his best friend Hedgehog encounter at a magical summer camp.
(New) OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes – Cartoon Network powers up a world of original heroes across the TV and gaming landscape together with the greenlight of this action-packed comedy followed by the console and PC game jointly developed with indie video game studio Capybara games. The knockout series is inspired by creator Ian Jones-Quartey’s childhood and follows the heroic feats of K.O., an endlessly optimistic boy attempting to level up to be the best he can be in a dynamic universe of heroes, friends and challenging foes.
(New) Ben 10 – The wild adventures begin debuting Monday, April 10 and will introduce fun loving, 10-year-old, Ben Tennyson, his cousin Gwen, and Grandpa Max, as they traverse the country during summer vacation. Once Ben finds the Omnitrix, a mysterious watch that transforms him into 10 different heroic aliens, a world of extraterrestrial superpowers opens to him, which kids of all ages will admire.
(New) Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs – The mouth-watering animated comedy series premiered earlier this month and is based on Sony Pictures Animation’s highly successful 2009 global feature Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and its sequel.
(Returning) We Bare Bears – The BAFTA-winning stacks up a third season in which Grizzly (Eric Edelstein), Panda (Bobby Moynihan) and Ice Bear (Demetri Martin) meet up with friends and frenemies voiced by Patton Oswalt, Charlyne Yi, Jason Lee, Ellie Kemper and Cameron Esposito. Festive holiday specials and new guest appearances by comedian Ron Funches and voice actor John DiMaggio round out the season. Created by Daniel Chong.
(Returning) The Powerpuff Girls – The Emmy-nominated series kicks off a second season featuring all-new characters and specials. The reimagined series is executive produced by Nick Jennings and co-executive produced by Bob Boyle, and will continue to further Cartoon Network’s commitment to STEAM education with two more themed episodes this season.
(Returning) Mighty Magiswords – The recently ordered second season will expand on Prohyas and Vambre’s epic adventures on hilarious quests in pursuit of the latest and greatest Magiswords to add to their collections. Mighty Magiswords is comprised of more than 500 pieces of original content including interactive shorts, narrative vlogs and a multitude of immersive digital games and apps.
(Returning) Adventure Time – The Emmy- and Peabody-winning show is back with an eight-part miniseries later this year. Fans will be just as surprised as Finn to discover what happened to the kingdoms of Ooo while he was away at sea. This next miniseries comes fresh off the heels of Adventure Time: Islands, which reached almost four million people. Created by Pendleton Ward and executive produced by Adam Muto.
(Returning) Steven Universe – Friendships are tested as the Emmy-nominated series continues. New adventurous story arcs and specials will introduce more Gems, spend time with the Diamonds and provide insight into the ever-mysterious Gem Homeworld while the series’ titular hero Steven Universe grows as a leader. Steven Universe is lauded for having a voice of inclusion, and was recently nominated for its first GLAAD Media Award in the Outstanding Comedy Series category. Created by Rebecca Sugar.
(Returning) Teen Titans Go! – Season four of the hit series continues — and get ready for the show’s 200th episode as Robin, Starfire, Raven, Beast Boy and Cyborg prepare to save the world in a special, two-part adventure. Audiences are also in for an egg-ceptional treat in a spring special featuring the mythical Tooth Fairy who tries to take over the holiday from the Easter Bunny. Produced by Warner Bros. Animation.
(Returning) The Amazing World of Gumball – This BAFTA- and Emmy-winning series from Cartoon Network Studios EMEA conjures up a new Halloween special and continues warm-hearted adventures including an episode with live-action puppets with the energetic and fearless blue cat—Gumball—and his idiosyncratic family, the Wattersons.
#Cartoon#Cartoon Network#Shows#Cartoons#Animated#Animation#Line-up#Line Up#2017#Show#Announcement#News#Apple & Onion#Craig of the Creek#Summer Camp Island#OK K.O.!#Let's be Heroes#Ben 10#Ben 10 reboot#Ben 10 2016#Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs#We Bare Bears#Powerpuff Girls#Powerpuff Reboot#Powerpuff Girls 2016#Mighty Magiswords#Adventure Time#Steven Universe#Teen Titans GO!#Teen Titans GO
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101 Romantic Love Riddles With Answers
New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/getting-healthy/getting-healthy-women/101-romantic-love-riddles-with-answers/
101 Romantic Love Riddles With Answers
101 Romantic Love Riddles With Answers Harini Natarajan Hyderabd040-395603080 January 28, 2020
Do you have a passion for riddles about romance and love? We have a bunch of them in store for you. We hope you will like this collection of love riddles with answers. The list below consists of everything from cute and funny love riddles to hot love riddles for him. Love is such an amazing emotion – it is difficult to express how deep it is. Grappling with love takes up a fair amount of mental gymnastics and reflection. What is love, really? Love itself is a riddle with a million different answers. Even though no one can answer that riddle correctly for certain, you can enjoy these and share them with your loved one. Have fun! May your cup of love always overflow!
101 Love Riddles With Answers
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What did the guy squirrel say to the girl squirrel?
Answer: I am “nuts” about you!
Why is it difficult to find a loving, caring, and handsome guy?
Answer: Because I am already with him.
What did the French chef give his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day?
Answer: A “quiche.”
What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
Answer: It made him “wed” his plants.
I can break, I can be clogged, I can be attacked, I can be given, I can be kept, I can be crushed, yet I can be whole at the same time. What am I?
Answer: A heart.
What is mine but only you can have?
Answer: My heart.
What did the Valentine Card say to the stamp?
Answer: “Stick” with me and we’ll go places.
Why did the girl ask her boyfriend for a map?
Answer: Because she got lost in his eyes.
What did the fish say to the bait on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: We should totally hook up.
What do you call two birds in love?
Answer: “Tweet” hearts.
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Eros is at its core, while a ring is its symbol. Though it can be seen as holy, often it is sealed by contact. What is it?
Answer: Marriage
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is short. Daffy Duck’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one, and I want yours. What is it?
Answer: Surname.
I can make people happy, I can make people cry. I can make people want me, and I can drive people crazy. What am I?
Answer: Love
What’s the most romantic part of the ocean?
Answer: When the “buoy” meets the “gull.”
What did the left eyebrow say to the right eyebrow?
Answer: You look surprised to see me.
Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?
Answer: She didn’t suit his taste.
What are the three rings of marriage?
Answer: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
What is worth a billion dollars but comes free of cost?
Answer: Love.
Why did the woman fall for Dracula so quickly?
Answer: It was love at first “bite.”
How do you get the attention of someone you love?
Answer: By screaming ‘I love you’ loudly to someone else.
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What do love and math have in common?
Answer: Add wine and a bed, minus the clothes, divide the legs, and hope and pray that you don’t multiply.
What did the boy bulb say to the girl bulb?
Answer: I love you a whole “watt,” honey!
How can a married couple who hate each other and are on the brink of divorce enjoy a romantic dinner and a bottle of wine at the same restaurant?
Answer: They go on different days.
A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
Answer: Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
What is invisible and makes people suffer from symptoms like sweating and nausea, yet people can’t survive without it?
Answer: Love.
What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
Answer: You get “buttered” up!
He has married many but has never been married. Who is he?
Answer: A priest.
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
Answer: I love you with all my “art.”
What is yours but you can’t actually hold?
Answer: My heart.
What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
Answer: I have a “crutch” on you.
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What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: You mean a great “dill” to me.
Why did carbon marry hydrogen?
Answer: They “bonded” well from the moment they met.
What did the boy snake say to the girl snake on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: Give me a hug and a “hiss,” honey.
What did the doctor say to the tonsil?
Answer: You look so cute, I think I will take you out.
What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: Let me call you “tweet” heart.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
Answer: Because he saw the salad “dressing.”
What did the boy drum say to the girl drum on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: My heart “beats” for you.
Why did the man propose to his Korean crush?
Answer: Because she was his “Seoul” mate!
How did the husband show his wife who was the boss of the household?
Answer: The husband held up a mirror to his wife’s face.
How do you spell a cute boy with only two letters?
Answer: QT!
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What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
Answer: I find you very “attractive.”
What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: Some “bunny” loves you.
What did the elephant say to his Valentine?
Answer: I love you a ton.
What do relationships have in common with algebra?
Answer: Haven’t you ever had an X and wondered Y?
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
Answer: No, but they had an apple.
What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: “Owl” be yours!
What did the little boy sheep say to the little girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: I love “ewe.”
What is a vampire’s sweetheart called?
Answer: His ghoul-friend.
You play with me when you are single and bored and stuck with me once married. What am I?
Answer: Your ring.
Why did the banana go out with the prune for Valentine’s Day?
Answer: Because he couldn’t get a date.
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Where does Valentine’s Day come after Easter?
Answer: In the dictionary.
Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
Answer: It was “guppy” love!
Why didn’t the watermelon want to marry the honeydew melon?
Answer: Because she can’t-elope.
What did the train say to his Valentine?
Answer: I choo-choo-choose you!
I can be blind, I can be powerful, I can be difficult, deep, complicated, and tender at the same time. What am I?
Answer: Love.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: I want to hold your hand.
How can you tell when a turkey is all ready for a date?
Answer: It is “dressed.”
What did the iPhone say to the MacBook?
Answer: You are the “apple” of my eye.
If love is grand, then what is divorce?
Answer: At least a hundred grand!
Why does love need sunglasses and a cane?
Answer: Because love is blind.
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What greeting do you say to a single person on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: Happy Independence Day!
What date do single people have on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: February 14th.
What did the female giraffe ask the handsome male giraffe?
Answer: Wanna neck with me?
What did the phone say to the WiFi?
Answer: We definitely have a connection.
Why did the two lovers end up in prison?
Answer: Because they stole each other’s hearts.
What did the bus conductor say to his new girlfriend that works at the zoo?
Answer: I think you’re a “keeper.”
What did the clock say to the calendar on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: Wanna go on a date?
What did number 2 say to number 1?
Answer: Are you single?
What fastens two people yet touches only one?
Answer: A wedding ring.
How did the bell propose to his girlfriend?
Answer: He gave her a “ring.”
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What did the electrical socket say to the plug?
Answer: We fit perfectly together.
What is Mrs. Right’s first name?
Answer: Always.
I can inflame and ignite a heart with my weapon, so you lovers better watch out. Who am I?
Answer: Cupid.
What did the cat say to her Valentine?
Answer: You are purr-fect for me.
What is the difference between love and marriage?
Answer: Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
What is another word for joy that starts with H, but for me it starts with U?
Answer: Happiness.
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Answer: “Hogs” and kisses!
This very thing you were born with pleases us all. It is even capable of making men fall, while only experienced by few. It is treasured by all.
Answer: Your beauty.
It grows and blossoms, it dies and wilts. It happens in the beginning and happens in the end. It can make you cry, it can make you sad, it can make you smile, and it can make you brave. What is it?
Answer: Love.
This is something I offer to you. It will help our relationship survive if it remains true. It begins with an L and comes at no cost. Surely without it, our relationship would be lost.
Answer: Loyalty.
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Made by God in pairs, separated at birth on Earth, found after years of search, inseparable for the rest of the time. What am I?
Answer: Soulmates.
When I look at her, she smiles at me. When I wink at her, she winks at me. When I kiss her, she kisses me back. When I say I love you, she says it back. Who am I?
Answer: Your own reflection in the mirror.
I can fly, but I am not a bird. I am colorful, but I am not a rainbow. I am beautiful and social, but I am not a person. What am I?
Answer: A butterfly.
She is famously pretty, and you can make her anything you want her to be. She comes in many colors and sizes, with long hair, short hair, blonde, brunette, curly, or straight hair. She’s as cute as cute can be and can fit in your hand. Who is she?
Answer: A Barbie doll.
I may look like I am grizzly, but I am actually soft and cuddly. I may be big or small, all stuffed up and ready to be snuggle. What am I?
Answer: A teddy bear.
Useless for one, but absolute bliss to two. The small boy gets it for free, the young man has to seek permission for it. The old man has to buy it. It’s a baby’s right anda lover’s privilege. What am I?
Answer: A kiss.
This is the most sold thing on Valentine’s Day. Red is the most popular of all its shades. Its fragrance is sweet. People give it on the most romantic of meetings.
Answer: A rose
What four-letter word is the cause of most discord in the world, as well as most cooperation?
Answer: Love.
What flowers are kissable?
Answer: Tulips.
What did the hamburger buy his sweetheart?
Answer: An onion ring!
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I represent love. I’m the daughter of Heaven and Sea. You may find me in the sky above, and many envy my beauty.
Answer: The goddess Venus.
My first is foremost legally. My second circle is outwardly. My third leads all in victory. My fourth twice ends a nominee. What am I?
Answer: Love.
This word is a favorite of girls. Boys are unnerved by the mention of it. Once love finds its accompaniment, it becomes a lifelong event.
Answer: Forever.
At the surface or within, it has the power to woo you and win. For Keats, it was joy forever. If you have it, it will get you favors.
Answer: Beauty.
They have the power to entice. The exploration of their depths never suffices. They are the subject of all romantic lines. They come in blue, black, and hazel shades. Name them!
Answer: Eyes.
It caused the destruction of Troy, the worst of tragedies, and numerous maladies. Yet it is chased, desired, and fought for. What is it?
Answer: Love.
Testimony of love, signifier of commitment. All it needs is a bottle of wine and a band that shines.
Answer: Aproposal.
A tested formula of love andinevitable part of love stories. The romantic dim light and good food are its friends. It never goes out of trend.
Answer: A candlelight dinner.
A declaration of love, the beginning of a journey, with vows and a ceremony.
Answer: Marriage.
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Answer: Of course. They are very scent-imental beings.
You see him flying around, carrying bows and arrows. Once he hits you with it, all you feel is love not sorrow. He must have hit us both. Who is he?
Answer: Cupid.
We sure hope you loved these sweet, romantic, cute, and funny love riddles with answers! Organize a romantic date night with your bae and make it even more romantic by asking him some of these riddles. All the best, lovers!
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Harini Natarajan
Harini has over 12 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. She specializes in the areas of business, health and wellness, and lifestyle and is proficient in Medical Sciences (Biology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, and Biochemistry). As the Chief Editor, Harini ensures that her team delivers interesting, engaging, and authentic content. Her background in Biomedical Engineering helps her decode and interpret the finer nuances of scientific research for her team. Harini is a certified bibliophile and a closet poet. She also loves dancing and traveling to offbeat destinations.
Source: https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/romantic-riddles/
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Dear Diary, Nearing the end of week 4 at Band Camp. All is well. This morning when I went to take a shower it was dark outside. The mister inquired as to why I was going when it was dark. I just giggled and thought to myself..Because the sun isn't up yet. The amount of light in an outdoor shower is strongly determined by the light of the sun. Anyhoo, I trekked towards the showers. The sounds of the four goats directed my path. They are currently working on their rendition of The Beatles "Good Morning" but one is struggling. In my head I hear "Good Morning (Goat 1), Good Morning (Goat 2), Good Morning (Goat 3)...ah...bleat (or murderous cry from Goat 4). "Good Morning Goats!" I say as I headed to the dark stall. Showering in the darkness is easy, its the shaving that can be tricky. Most know from previous posts that I am for the most part equivalent to that of a hairless cat since I can say I haven't shaved my legs in 10 years, but the armpits may look a little disheveled today. If I wave at you with both arms as I sometimes do because I am weird and one armpit looks a little "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" and the other appears like "Real Housewives of Grizzly Adams", just give me a sympathetic nod and walk away. On the plus side, when I emerged from my shower stall I overhead someone say "ain't nothing better than a fresh smelling woman". I love it and heck, it's kinda true. This city girl is adapting quite well to camp. I mean I am primitive survival beast woman and loving life here at camp. Tomorrow is shopping day. I am off in search of disposable potty bags, a candle and maybe a garden gnome to make our site more inviting...ya know for guests and entertaining. Will send pics of my fabulous finds. Til then... Peace Out.
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Microwave door bouncer to keep you from eating garbage. "Where do we Go now" guns & roses/ picking a restaurant Fallout joke: I was at work while you cheating all day. Punchline: I never even got to cheat AND she would tell me about her bounty EVRyday SKIT: Danielle cooking pie (or anything really) and you have headphones on improve rapping to her and it sounds good to me but cut to her with no music and she looks at me very annoyedly Opener: Walks on stage, grabs mic and lays down. "Instead of stand up up I'm gonna try "lay down", it's way more comfortable.. That joke needs a Mitch headberg voice" repeat joke in Mitch headberg voice "com-fort-able" Hotel TV remotes have never been cleaner. Everybody on the phone watching porn and Netflix. The last person to use a hotel remote for porn died years ago Terminator cop in San Diego -what it felt like on mushrooms (terminator slo mo walk by) -what really happened (cop just walks by and shrugs) "Whenever I start dating a girl I buy her a really nice, big purse as a gift. ...Cuz she's gonna be carrying a bunch of my shit around for the next 4 1/2 months" - jack bliss Old west - duel going on in the middle of town. Mayor stops everything -"what are you guys arguing about" "is it worth dying over? I mean I can look this up on my phone" Mayor looks it up on the phone and who ever was wrong gets shot with no countdown ..Watch a little porn. Once you get too familiar with a site you drift to the lesser known porn sites ...This particular website has a top 50 viewed videos.. And you can sort em by 1 day, 7 days, 30 days, and my favorite, "all-time". ..That's just a buncha like minded individuals helpin' each other out.. But you can always tell when a bunch of likeminded weirdos find the site cuz for the 1 Day Most Viewed, it's just a ton of videos of people peein' on each other. And now it's like "maaaan, now I'm not even in the mood. AND I'm disappointed in you PornoTime, I didn't even now that was so prevalent on your site!" And it's usually on a Sunday... All you pee heathens jerkin off on the toilet with your computers on your laps should be at church! But then I'm like ".....let's see what all this hype is about" If I eat Asian food and drink a glass of milk, will I explode? Asians they don't drink milk! I think it's cuz they know. It's like when you have Indian or real African neighbors and that food smell just permeates ev-er-y thing. Unpleasant for the most part. Asians think white people smell like rotten cheese or like the cow aushwitz off the 5. <----Cowlinga. Nasty place. I was on a road trip with my wife and "she's tired" (bitchy voice) so she wants to stop for the night. At night she couldn't tell but in the morning when that sun came up?.. And that stink starts stinkin?.. She's like "oh those poor Asians. We should stop eating cheese for them" And then she puked. Friendricks Smitreaux - hands too small, not allowed in Burger King. Has quarrels. (Jack) Calling GameStop, having a nerdy conversation, with a funny voice. Rb movie voice could be a thing. Do you have x y z Round table pizza local interview podcast Wife's mom with gigantic fat pet and gets scolded by vet. Mom is pissed new underwear lint gets stuck to your dick. About to get a blowjob and she freaks out cuz there's fuzzy berries all over your jimmy wang dong. (Explain in between these sentences how fuzz sticks to your dick when you have new unwashed out of the box underwear) I've done this to my wife since we started dating "Chivalry Gone Wild" - pushing girls out of the way to open the doors for them. Later girl has chivalry ptsd (now she shivers when a guy reaches for the check at a restaurant) "Once I got roofied..." Story ensues "Once I had a crazy dream..." Story ensues Either way you're bored Went into the bank, for the candy of course, why else would you go inside these days. As I reach for the candy, the lady behind the counter says "DON'T TAKE THAT CANDY!...... It's super old.. Here take this, I have a 'secret stash' back here" I was like "You Smoke Weed, huh?" No I didn't say that, I just did the stoner laugh, which basically communicates the same message I have road rage. Like.. bad. But they're really cracking down on that now. I mean you can't even throw the bird these days. So I'm trying to advocate this, in place of the bird, you hit the rear window spray 2 times. (doesn't work if your window is dirty) I'm trying to spread this so people know I'm insulting them..... Also the "up hand", thumbs up is for assholes...... I just don't want road rage to go away, you know?! Went to the grocery store at night and someone was sleeping in the car I parked in front of. I see a middle finger come over the dash. I quickly kill my headlights and the middle finger turns into a thumbs up and recedes below the dash. I like that person.. Soccer needs timeouts like catholic priests need to be able to fuck. Flopping soccer players = selabate priests Lost lake truck sinks into water. Guy goes back for cigarettes brings one pack instead of the ENTIRE CARTON White people now can only do other ethnicities voices while reading a name. (List 3 different "ethnic" names) Buttercup story: weed in New York Trying to get a random buddy to be the third player in the game of RISK is like trying to get a random girl to come back to your house and suck you AND your buddies dicks. "Wanna play a game of risk?" Shit no Instead of people saying "Grizzly Adams DID have a beard" I think we should change it to "Kurt Cobain DID have a gun" "no I swear I don't have a gun" ...too soon?! Liqueur Control Board. Two young kids walk into a bar. They order jäger. Liquor Control comes in and says to the bartender: "do you those kids you served are underaged?" Bartender says "you're out of your Jurisdiction!!! Call the Liqueur Control Board!!" Liqueur Control Board shows up lookin like French cops "(( assholeish French accent thing here))" I work construction..... (Frown face) You THINK you want to shit in a freshly clean porta-potty. But that's not the case. You drop any size turd in that blue water and it's coming back up to splash your asshole. You need a big pile of turd to cushion the blow. I frequent a sports bar, and they allow kids in a certain section and sometimes you don't see these children behind you. So you day-drunkenly yell out "well I can't exactly tit fuck 'er, but they're perfectly shaped!" ((Rule of thirds here, needs 2 more examples)) History Lesson: •Good at art cuz no porn - there was much better art, and I mean paintings, back in the days of yore. Do you know why so many iconic paintings come from this era?! Because there was no porn. You think these guys (Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Monet) weren't drawing weird sex stuff in their spare time?! Of course they were. People think porn took over in vhs days but it's gone back much further than you think Way back in the day, I don't think they had the ADA (American Dental Association), but if they did it would be The Association of Guys that Own Pliers. If you had a tooth ache in the 18th century, your barber would pull your tooth!.. Guess the barber had a set of pliers.. therefore making him.. also a dentist. Hatred for people with red hair bleed over from hatred for the Irish? I just found out I'm Irish.. My dad was adopted and he just did the genealogy thing. Piss on a stick, or something.... I may be thinking of something else.. Anyway, it makes a ton of sense cuz my mom was Swiss. And if you know anything about the Swiss, they don't tend to takes sides, (hmhrph wwii). So when I get high, I'm Swiss: "hey whatever your views man, let's just have a dialogue.. Orrr not, I really have no stance on the issue." But when I drink whiskey: ..I wanna fight people. And I'm not a big guy soooo, I try not to drink whiskey.. I try to test myself against my friends, but they are all bigger than me so it never ends well. There is one guy who's bigger than me, but I can just psychologically break him down, and it's all true so I always win. And those other big guys are around and laughing so I have some protection. Things like "good thing those chicks can't see how many times you swipe right, otherwise they would call you a "Desperate Bitch!" Or: "you're so pathetic, how do you not have a crescent wrench?!" Things like that. One Friday night, He was a coward and attacked me while I was fall over baby deer legs drunk. We shut the bar down and as we're walking out he shoves me and I go flying into the ashtray. Butts are flyin.. I was not happy with him and I think I had some whiskey that night because I plotted revenge for the next day, I say "I'm gonna fuck this guy up". Saturday morning we always go back to the bar for breakfast. He says "you gonna be at the bar for breakfast?" I say "yeah buddy, 20 minutes". That's when I start loading the quarters into the sock. But yeah, whiskey makes me angry, I guess. Did anyone notice how the hitler youth haircut came back right around the time most of the wwii vets were pretty much all dead? The hipsters were scared of some old vet having a flashback to the war. "YOU.. NAZI.. BASTARD!!!" So my wife says to me while we're in the kitchen, out of nowhere, and I quote, "yeah I drop craisins" I'm thinking this is some new thing the kids are doing. Then she points to the floor and..there is a craisin. She says "watch this" and shoves a gigantic handful in her mouth and a few fall on the floor. She then walks away Slava drug store story. "What kind of a name is that?!" Shia vs. Tink The wiener dog comes in the house, if it smells the cat, he goes crazy. (Killed the neighbor tea cup something or another) the cat hears his collar and jumps up out of range and watches us shower the dog with love. ((Cats reaction is the punchline)) "What the fuck, that dude is trying to kill me!! Benedict friggin Arnolds" Danielle: "Willy Wonka" is like "Saw" for kids Never touch a mans belt buckle. Cuz they drape their balls over them while taking a piss "Hey lesbians, do you have your gloves in the car? They said yes. Well let's get a pickup game going! Hunters heroin people story - "she's sucking his DICK!" MMA fighter goes back in time to 1907. Breaks 1907's guys wrist because of his dumb boxing stance Lady at rite aid going through gender reassignment. I use my chip and she tells me to slide. I say "yeah we're going through a transitional phase right now" instantly realize what I just said Back to the bar. Being a smoker you know everybody's car.. you've seen them come and go enough because you're that much of an alcoholic and smoke on the half hour for the six hours you're there. (Well not you, me) So you'll walk up to the bar and be like "oh hello, jacks car, let's just lift up your windshield wipers there buddy" or "oh yup, Old Man Roy parked like a dick again.." Or "Hey look! there's Kevin's truck, let's draw a dick on it". <---Another thing about being a smoker that brings me joy, is watching the horror on people's faces when they scape the plastic underneath their bumper when pulling to close to the curb. I always give a look implying "you just fucked up your bumper!" Bar, Interior: If I'm on my phone and you come sit next to me at the rail, do not get on your phone, cuz then I feel like we look like assholes and I put my phone away.. But I still have shit to do so you're really being a real monkey wrench in my operation People who do bird calls: trying to trick birds? Stock internet passwords make you seem like an insane person. Jolly ocean 3, rapid pineapple 0. An insane person looks at it and goes "....that works. No need to even change it.." Bevmo event planner needs an option for your alcoholic friends. 3 pictures. What do your friends look like at the end of the night; 1. Someone smiling 2. Hot mess 3. Just a toilet Sleeping in the wrong car overnight My wife put my jerk off blanket out for people to use. "You sicko!! You were gonna let my friends use that blanket" I'm thinking of the scenario where somebody goes to grab and I say "oh that's my baby blanket, I don't know how that got out here, let me get you another one.." And..((eyebrow)) I wouldn't be lying about the baby blanket thing. Old men's memory's are bad because their spank banks are 70 years full. Head Bobbers of Noddingham My wife said "you know how I know you're an alcoholic? Because your handwriting is shit but your numbers are beautiful. Signing tabs everyday for the last 10 years will do that" You know what really freaks out the ladies? When you immediately realize what you did wrong. You start apologizing too soon and it somehow makes things much worse. So if you one day have an immediate realization about something you did wrong... Play the dumb card for a day or 3 to make it seem like you've put deep thought into your mistake. Skinny guys dating fat chicks: what if she gets cold, how can you share your jacket?! My dad was adopted and finally did that genetics test •"spit"• hey, we're Irish. That makes a ton of sense. Too much whiskey and all of the sudden I get ridiculous agry Power went out in target. Here's how weird I am: I stole a snoop dogg cd and a Björk cd. To all women: if one is partaking upon a banana in public, use a knife. This will discourage onlookers. #yesallwomen Anyone old enough to send away "proof of purchases" for a prize from the back of a cereal box? Had to ask your mom for $2.50 to cover shipping and handling.. Waiting for it made you realize there is no true instant gratification. The waiting! Everyday: did it arrive, mother?!... No? (sulk away) then FINALLY when your 6 piece Lego set shows up you think: "I'm 27 I don't care about Legos anymore!" (Needs a tag) ((maybe:)) but I forgot to pull out when I was 21 so my 6 yr old will enjoy it) Old phone when unlocked will have a random screen of something from earlier. Sometimes it's porn. Gotta be careful Nowadays you see an old lady walking around and you think "that lady looks as old as my grandma when I was 9. She's got the old lady hair, the old lady sweater, old lady shoes, old lady jewelry" but then she has some rockin' tits! They do a "facelift" for those titties Gotta be careful watching porn with headphones. The getting caught factor isn't even what I mean, I leave one ear off for that. I only do les porn with headphones. cuz you don't need some dude "ugh ugh ugh! Oh Ya baby suck that cock" RIGHT IN YOUR ear. Not what I'm goin for there. White people always put housin sauce in the pho. Next to the bar I go to is a pho place. Smoking with Paul Teaching us how after we go in drunk.. (Housen sauces for dippin the meat)((white people put it in the broth)) "oh really?? Cut to me at home- it's delicious!!" Free bottle of siracha Pouring the old pho in the toilet ("how else do you get rid of old pho?!") How pissed off are you when someone in a Tesla SUV doesn't open their back doors? "Lemme see that back to the future sheeeit!" Old guy coughing sounds like someone taking crap to you. "What the hell did you say to me, old man?
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