#gross but do i care

[leupagus]

On Voting in America

So one of the most profound comments on routine chores that I've ever encountered was, hilariously, the Pickle Rick episode of "Rick & Morty," where (after a lot of shenanigans have already ensued) this therapist absolutely lays Rick out:

"I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is: it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."

I think about this at least once a week — usually while I'm doing my laundry or sweeping or some other task that needs doing and won't get me anything more than clean clothing or a dog-hair-free floor. There's no Pulitzer for wiping down your microwave or scrubbing your toilet; no one's awarding you for getting all the dishes out of the sink. At best you have the satisfaction of crossing it off your list.

Voting is very much the same (and I'm talking about the US here, as an American). Sure, you sometimes get a sticker; but nobody's going to cheer for you. There's no adventure here, no potential for anything more than crossing something off of a list. It's a chore, something that needs doing in order to repair, maintain, and yes even clean. So I get why people don't like doing it.

And I've decided I don't give a shit.

Do it anyway. Your country takes astonishingly little from you — taxes, the once-in-a-blue-moon jury duty, and a theoretical draft that hasn't been used in over half a century and likely will never be again — but it asks you (asks! not requires! not demands!) to vote once a year. It's not always easy; especially in conservative states, the impediments to vote can be ridiculous. But it is once a year and unlike in our nation's all-too-recent past, you will not die if you do it.

In fact, the worst outcome from voting these days is that the person or issue that you vote for loses — but you won't know if they lose until after the election. Polls are less accurate now, for a whole host of reasons; you cannot know until after the election who or what will win. This makes your vote more valuable than possibly ever before.

Use that power. Not because it's exciting or even rewarding, but because your vote is what keeps our country's metaphorical teeth from falling out and our metaphorical ass from stinking.

Brush, wipe, vote.

#ok the metaphor may've gotten a little gross but rick & morty chose it not me #anyway if voting didn't matter then rich people wouldn't do it #and I can assure you: they do #also: please don't think of voting like a reward for the person you're voting for #or as a punishment for the person you're not voting for #my mom's advice was: #think about the most vulnerable people you care about and vote for the person or issue that will make their lives better #and you'll rarely go wrong #yes there are often two bad options but if you're old enough to vote you're old enough to understand the difference between bad and less ba #anyway that's all the political lecturing I'll do this year #except maybe to complain about the 18-hour day I'll be having on Tuesday #oh also SIGN UP TO WORK ELECTIONS WE NEED MORE HELP #thank you #politics!

[moongreenlight]

Rah rah rah whatever Soap likes to fuck you when he’s still bloody and dirty after a fight.

Makes him feel soooo manly and strong when he shoves you to your knees in a corner and holds both sides of your face and fucks your throat. Leaves streaks of dirt on your cheeks. Thumbs away a few fat beads of blood that either rolled off his vest or dripped onto your cheeks from his broken nose. He doesn’t know and doesn’t care because he’s so high on adrenaline and testosterone.

He’s soooo mean if you gag or cry on him. Gives you a sharp slap on the cheek and bullies his cock further down your throat. Says something snarky and mean like “S’not about you. Dinnae be selfish.”

#I actually do not care he’s so gross #I need him more than I need to breathe #moongreenlight #moongreenlightwrites #cod mw2 #call of duty #johnny soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish smut #john soap mactavish

[lilaccatholic]

Complex feelings about copyright and Disney's appalling ethics aside, it does unsettle me how quickly people jump to make and monetize the most unnerving, depraved content imaginable about characters created for children the second it hits the public domain

#lilac rambles #lilac goes to the movies #look you don't have to defend yourselves to me i don't really care what you do #so please don't flood my inbox with all this stuff about why disney sucks and why gross stuff is good actually #im not here to fight #i get it. they suck and this feels vindicating #i just get unnerved watching people do terrible things to things created for children the second they can #maybe it's bc i don't see anyone making anything...idk...nice? and like...not freaky? #like it really feels like 'haha we're going to defile this creation bc it makes us feel good to destroy something created for families' #bc if it had just been the case with mickey id get it yknow #but people did this with sweet old pooh bear too #but maybe that's bc he's now a disney property idk #like maybe as other famous characters come into the public domain people won't do the same things #and honestly that will make me feel a lot better

[babacontainsmultitudes]

So it was established in the last episode that Taylor still believes in Santa (tbh I wouldn't be surprised if it's come up prior to this ep too but anyways-) so... Do you think (saint) Nicky been has portalling in every year since the betrayal to sneak in a gift for his son amongst the pile? That Cassandra doesn't even notice because it's just one among the many many presents she herself has bought and wrapped? But every year without fail... Taylor gets one gift that simply says "from: Nick" and well, obviously that has to mean it's from Santa (a conclusion which Nicky expects him to come to, and why he can sign his name at all, though he misses when he could just write "dad"). And one year when he's still quite young, a sleepy little Taylor actually catches Nicky in the act, and Nicky wishes more than anything that he could just *stay*, but instead he only softly tells Taylor to go back to bed, and Taylor thinks that Santa is a lot younger and a bit sadder than he expected, but what's he gonna do- not listen to Santa Claus? So he smiles meekly at the man he does not know to be his father, and hurriedly heads back to his room.

Also yes of course Nicky eats the fucking cookies left out of course he's not gonna pass up on free cookies (which are home-baked to top it off) come on that's a given.

#at my conspiracy board like ''he sees you when you're sleeping... he knows when you're awake- just like Nicky watching Taylor from Hell!'' #dndads #dungeons and daddies #nick foster #I'm sure I mustn't be the only person who's proposed a headcanon to this effect but anyways in light of recent events! #and Taylor asks Nicky what kind of cookies he likes and Nicky says ''oatmeal raisin'' and Taylor says ''gross'' #but insists on putting those ones out next year and every year after that #nicky freeman #taylor swift dndads #highkey knowing Nicky and the dumbass shenanigans he gets wrapped up in he would do something to accidentally become the real santa claus #like he shows up to the wrong house one year and gets spotted #so then in his mind he has to show up to *both* houses next year #but then the kid from the other house tells all their friends #and what is he gonna do- not get gifts for all of them too? that wouldn't be fair. #you see where I'm going with this? #dndads holiday special starring Nicky in the tale of how he became saint nick #I won't lie to you folks the Closes and Swifts are basically the only reason I care at all about this holiday haha #(though happy holidays to all of you celebrating- whatever you're celebrating!) #''but you're hosting a holiday event!'' YEAH AND LOOK WHO IT'S FOR LOL #(back at my conspiracy board) santa... is just an anagram for satan... it all makes sense!

[arieswritez]

Just thinking about pervy Mark rn…. Giggles

I think he should be nasty.. a lil gross,, That would be hawt

mark should allowed to be nasty & gross as a treat!!

cw; MDNI! DARK CONTENT! yan!mark grayson x gn!reader, abusive relationships, manipulation, food tampering, drugging, somnophilia, blackmail, scent kink, rape & sexual harassment, mentions of body size (weight fluctuations, implied chub!reader, mark teases reader about it)

he should be allowed to taint your food with his spit and his cum and get hard while he watches you eat it! he should be allowed to put trackers in your car or on your phone! why can't you understand he's just wants to keep you safe?! stop being so ungrateful >:[ !!!!

how do you think it'd make mark feel if something happened to you? or are you that fucking self absorbed that you don't stop to think about how your actions affect those around you? specifically him. your boyfriend who does so much for you.

what if someone got their hands on your cute little body? is that what you want? because mark obviously doesn't want anything happening to you. . but if that's what you really want: he can make that happen.

he won't like it. but if it means teaching you a lesson, he can always hire a few low lives to scare you straight. and it's not like it's hard to find them and reason with them. mark gets a favor and, in return, they don't have to worry about mark - or invincible, as they know him - lurking on their turf.

despite their reputation, they don't do anything too bad. nothing big enough to cause any permanent, physical damage. although he's sure - and hoping - your psyche will take a hit. he specifically advised they not rape you but they do enough to leave you shaking with fear once it's over.

when you come home to him, clothes torn, sobbing about being cornered and groped, he'll be there, soothing and cooing at you,

"babe~ i told you! this is what happens when you wear that while i'm not around! you have to tell me where you are at all times! it wouldn't have happened if i was there!"

mark should be allowed to make you absolutely, completely, A HUNDRED PERCENT!!!! dependent on him!!! he should be allowed to slip things into your drinks that make you drowsy and force you to stay the night. he should be allowed to set up a cute little camera in the corner of the room, facing his bed, and film himself slipping his hand into your underwear while you sleep! you wouldn't believe the sounds you make while you're passed out <3

he should be allowed to give you medication that causes your weight to fluctuate! & he's allowed to be a little mean about it, too ;( to pinch your chubby cheeks or your softening belly, grab your rolls and say, "you're lucky i love you so much ~"

he should be allowed to use your throat as leverage when he fucks you from behind!!! he should be allowed to stick his thumb/stuff his fingers into your hole while he strokes you or eats you from the back!! he should be allowed to paint your back and/or belly with sticky white cum while you're throbbing for him. he should be allowed to make excuses !!! oh, i hafta go. cecil needs me. im tired. get yourself off, you can do that, can't you?

or just a blatant, "no. you don't deserve to."

mark should be allowed to throat fuck you until your face is covered with tears and snot and he should be allowed to laugh at you and plug your nose while you choke around him!

he should be allowed to force you to your knees & tongue at his balls the second he steps into the house despite the fact that he hasn't showered the day's worth of sweat and grime off of him! you should BE GRATEFUL HIS DICK IS IN YOUR MOUTH!!!

mark is a good bf! and you shouldn't complain!! no one will love you the same way he does!!

#io ramble ramble #im in love w him #im supposed to be out #instead im writing about mark being gross #trying to get this out before i get a lick of sunlight #cause ik my serotonin will surge #and i wont be able to be sick and psycho and needy #i am so rabid over him #i want him so bad #FUCK IT I AM IN LOVE WITH MARK GRAYSON #AND YOU CAN ALL JUDGE ME IF YOU WANT #BUT I DO NOT CARE #I HAVE NEVER #EVER #BEEN HAPPIER!!!!! #mark grayson x reader #invincible x reader #mark grayson #invincible #yandere mark grayson x reader

[curioscurio]

Got up early (for me), ate a light and healthy breakfast, applied to some jobs, took a long mental health walk with the dogs, gave one of them a bath, and even did some phone calls and messaging regarding my medication and pharmacy problems and managed to sort it out without breaking down!!! And! Showered!! Kicking ASS at mental health today

#im studying myself like a bug. with no judgement or compulsive self hate when i see the results. and then doing something different based on #those results #and its working #ive noticed that im much more productive when i have someone else to help or listen to. its a little uh sad because im not easily able to #to take care of myself and do things for MYSELF. but if its for someone else then its like i gain momentum #going out to clean out MY car? well i dont care how gross it is im not worth the effort. #cleaning out my car for my brother who i drive to therapy every other week? fuck yes its going to be nice and clean because therapy is impo #rtant and i want to help you stick with it and so we make it not a chore but lighthearted sibling time #like do you get it #anyway slow progress is still progress #the number of good days are slowly catching up to the number of bad days #post beginning of the pandemic 2020 was so brutal on me. moving back in with my parents especially #but i have a plan now . a real one. and friends to help me as well ! #oops rambling in the tags haha #long tags

[laufire]

see, it was thinking about jason and roy as they were prereboot, about their potential and how they could get together, about how I would get them together, that inspired in me a kernel of curiosity about the pairing. canon is always the jumping point for me with ships, one way or another. every post about how roy! would never!! even LIKE jason!!! because [insert something that mr. cheshire would NOT find to be a dealbreaker sns] it gives me another push to iron out the plot I'm building just to get them fucking though, so that's nice.

#also if you bring up the “age gap” i'll just laugh at you #sorry but you can't treat jason as a Deathstroke 2.0 Fully Grown Man Divorced With A Mortage #that attacks these pwoor pwoor children (teenagers 2 years younger than him) #(that willingly put themselves in way worse situations than fisticuffs) #and simultaneously act ''grossed out'' that roy has some years on him #you realise that right? #also i just don't give a fuck. sometimes age gaps don't matter. sometimes they actively make things interesting. i literally do not care #talking to the void #my thoughts #dc #dc comics #jayroy #jason todd #roy harper #fandom nonsense #bitter lau tag

[furiousgoldfish]

Today I am bothered by the fact that babies and toddlers are programmed to ask for attention and affection naturally, right, and if they don’t get it, they ask for it louder and louder, until they get completely exhausted and they can’t move anymore, which is when it sinks to them that there is no help, no attention, nobody coming, they’re not being cared for, which is when they go silent and numb and stop asking for it.

Natural progression for a human is to get as much attention and care as they need as a baby, then also as a toddler, and then at some stage later they stop needing it as much, they start desiring separation and individuality, and their desires for attention flow towards different people then, they want positive attention from their peers, then from the rest of the world as well, but not in that parental way anymore, now they want to be acknowledged and equal and needed and wanted, not fed and pampered and hugged, although a tiny amount of that isn’t rejected if offered.

If abused, these needs can developed differently. If as a toddler you’ve spent more time in that catatonic and numb state, fearing for survival because you’re a baby and there’s no caretakers, that leaves a mark on you. If you’ve been denied physical attention, hugs and pats and strokes on your head, as a toddler, that again leaves a mark, makes you feel undesirable, unwanted, disgusting, unworthy. And since you’re constantly feeling hurt, the desire for separation can come early too; because your instinct is to survive, and if your caretaker is a danger to you, you still love them of course, but you realize you have to be independent, have to take care of yourself, have to figure your own issues out without asking for help. It’s also followed by a dose of dissociation because the pain of being emotionally abandoned so young, is too much for anyone. Being neglected when you desperately need someone, will cause you to dissociate, possibly even develop a dissociative disorder to survive.

But what happens with all those needs for affection? If nobody fulfilled your basic needs for care as a toddler, do you ever evolve to wanting to be equal to others? Or do you, forever, yearn for parental type of care? Need to be pampered and reassured that you’re wanted and valuable and that someone will take care of you, make sure you eat, make sure you don’t die, make sure you’re safe? Does this ever go away, if nobody ever takes care of you this way? Do you ever feel completely comfortable being equal to someone? Do you not interpret intimacy as a way to get that positive touch, and crave it not in a sexual, but in a ‘i need to be held’ kind of way? Do you not assume they also want to be pampered, and offer it as a wild hope they might do it back, but they just accept it and take it and run off with it? Do you forever just end up a caretaker nobody ever took care of, who has no way to ask for it because it feels so wildly inappropriate?

#unmet needs #abusive parents #child abuse #emotional abandonment #lack of care #lack of positive touch #lack of nurture #child neglect #physical abandoment #making children feel unwanted and gross #causes of dissociation #sadness #i didn't do this to myself but i feel gross about it anway

[professional-termite]

replacing lokius with securitywaiter. at least with mike and ness there is a significantly lower chance of them literally being related out of spite from the creator

#ill still do asks and stuff for them but its just...ehh....i cant really bring myself to care about loki anymore #im so scared about the final episode. how are they going to make lokius shippers look gross and perverted? who knows #anyways uhh crackship for the win #i make up my own canon!! i do what i want!!! #lokius #securitywaiter #dreamtheory #ness the waiter #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #mike x ness

[cronennerd]

had to get this out of my head bc i always think about this scene when i see weird intrusive comments from cis ppl abt transition-related physical changes

#rocky horror picture show #why would u think i would care that u think the changes resulting from transition are weird or gross or whatever #i'm not trying to attract someone still trying to wrap their head around the genderbread person explainer from 2014 #5'0 art f@gs w tboy vocal fry will get it so i dont care if brad/janet do

[lornasaurusrex]

I miss you Lorna… this is such a mess

This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope you’re all doing well!! I’m sorry to see nothing has improved.

I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. 💕

Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.

The video is still on YT.

#Anywayyyyy #The fandom added a whole lot more C to my C-PTSD #So a nice random message every few months instead of a freshly posted death wish is LOVELY. #Don’t fret. On meds and therapied but fresh tf out of money from it so @ L and H… lornasaurusrexx at g*ail is the PayPal if ur bored 🙃 #I hate to be like this but protect your hearts. They’ll never be able to look out for you guys and they feed these trolls ammo for snacks #and it seems to have only gotten worse. Gotta keep them hets hetbaited for their money whilst actively encouraging them to bully yall? Why? #STILL!? At this point it feels like they’ve both chosen that path deliberately now and I find it quite gross. but I’m also very far removed #So don’t worry about my opinions. Keep trusting your own intuition!!! You all see it. I love you guys and your beautiful hearts and empathy #But I hope they can sleep at night knowing the absolute fucking genuine WRECKAGE they left across the Big Gay War generation/era of Larries #Don’t worry guys I’m just as dramatic as ever. None of this has anything to do with them coming out or anything. Just how we were treated. #But trust I fuckin mean that shit from the deepest darkest pit of my Demon Larrie™️ heart. They encouraged this. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #Anyone who cares about my actual life updates: I’m a school nurse now and will be working at a bougie summer camp over break #Had a surgery I needed. Got new tattoos and piercings. In a happy and healthy relationship with the best dude for almost a year now. #OH and I went to New Zealand last year with Prettytruthsandlies!!!! We made a pact back in our Big Gay War/college days to go. And we DID!! #I got overstimulated and overfed and puked in Hobbiton. 🤣 (It was the best time of my LIFE GENUINELY🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹) #Okay BYE LOVE YOU GUYS #There are better and more humane ways to maintain a closet ..like literally STFU entirely. Ignoring it and not exploiting a kid is FREE #🇵🇸

[mars-ipan]

they're so GROSSSSSS (<- desperately wants what they have)

alt color under the cut:

#martzipan #komahina #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #2 final colors bc my brain is allergic to desaturation. i needed to have One Bright One for my sanity #anyways i think they have this thing when they finally get together #where komaeda will just say. Anything basically. in an attempt to fluster hinata #and it does fluster him! but also sometimes he decides to do something about it #which flusters KOMAEDA even harder bc the dumbass forgets that like. affection can happen to him #which makes HINATA flustered again because 'you can say all that but one kiss is overwhelming?!?' #and they do this. all the time. especially early on before they're really used to each other #and they're gross about it. they do this in public. everyone else has to watch them do this like. thrice daily #they're awful. and also i envy them #tried some new things this time. more character interaction practice which is fun #i think this is likee... the third???? kiss i've ever drawn??? good for them #but i care more about the lineart. i tried to think about line weight at least a little bit :] it is Difficult lmao #this one made me realize i need to do a hips study lmao. also a neck study #in other words a girl needs to practice her joints more #there's still smth bugging me abt hinata's face in the 3rd one. but. i don't care it's done i'm not touching it

[askthebadkidz]

Riz would kill the other Bad Kids in a heartbeat for any reason (possession, evil, etc) and it’s considered (one of) his form(s) of love this is not a joke post this is canon.

-Fig Mod

#fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #I need to remind everyone that Riz is a knight that is very solemnly doing his job #He puts a gun to Adaines head when she’s reading from a book in the nightmare forest btw #It’s semi a joke but also it’s not and it’s been rattling around in my brain #His lack of social skills aren’t the problem it’s the fact that he doesn’t actually care in a way anyone understands #To him caring is killing or hurting people or doing something terrible like eating someone alive shooting someone’s fingers off biting #An eye out of a man’s head. To him care and love is brutal and unforgiving and gross. #I know I’m over analyzing but man. Riz Gukgak. #Riz Gukgak and love being painful for everyone involved

[chilpilled]

ok sorry for being a hater but i will say that im kinda disappointed marcille wasnt bloodier and grimier in the new ep. like i need my girl disheveled and dirty and looking like a used tampon. and i know that a lot of it is animation constraints but i dont think it would have been that much of a problem to just add a little more blood? idk. i really liked the ep overall and im happy with it i just wish marcille was more disheveled because it literally represents how far shes willing to go to save falin. its the shocking contrast to before. marcille being grimy and covered in dragon guts is essential to the yuri!!!

#also. well #this is trigger. and. u know. female characters in anime #it does smell a tiny bit like we cant make her too ugly she has to still be appealing. which is more of a general problem with anime i guess #let the girls get ugly and gross…..at least make the blood go up past her ankles #yeah im being a hater but its because i care #because this show bangs so much so im being picky #trigger is doing an amazing job but thats why i complain u know. out of love

[cuntylittlesalmon]

I came across one of your posts criticising Delilah Green, and the radfem-esque rhetoric of Ashley Herring Blake's works. I agree, I completely despised her works. But every time one of my friends or I spoke about it, we were criticised on bookstagram and book twt. I was curious to know your thoughts on these books, if you are okay with it.

i am aaaaaaalways down to talk shit about bad books! i’ve felt completely isolated in the larger sapphic bookish spheres because i hated AHB’s work, i’m glad to have found another one of us 🫶

this’ll be under a cut because it’ll be incredibly long, as every instance of me criticizing these books has been

DGDC - delilah green doesn’t care

APDF - astrid parker doesn’t fail

AHB - ashley herring blake

SO!

these books suck. lmao. i don't think they're particularly interesting on the character-level, or the world-level, or the prose-level, or really anything at all. there are scenes here and there where i can see what AHB can do but she's too busy trying to seem like the funniest and the most progressive white cis woman out there--of course, without doing any of the actual work that comes with deconstructing the racist, transphobic, and homophobic ideology she grew up with as a person from the united states.

which leads me into my first complaint: everything to do with emery and their pronouns. every single thing in that scene felt like pandering, and the pronoun sharing aspect felt like word salad that needed to be edited down to a single sentence of "And then everyone else shared their pronouns". we're already deeply aware that every single person in this book sans emery is cis, i don't need that shoved into my face further with a cis woman expounding upon how she's terrified that she's going to fuck up somehow in sharing her own pronouns. unnecessary bullshit, since i'm guessing the point was to show that astrid is insecure, particularly around industry professionals, but with a slightly funny slant to it. this was not the place to show that, especially when there are so many other instances both before and after this part that show her anxieties better.

and frankly, in sharing this part with a friend, they thought it was astrid being insecure about getting emery's pronouns correct which....if your cute lil romcom protag can be see as an annoying and borderline transphobic cissie when they come face to face with a nonbinary person for the first time because your prose just sucks ass......maybe you shouldn't include that lol

and i think that leans in a lot to the "humor" of these books. at one point in ADPF, delilah makes a joke about fighting someone "like a lesbian", which in her eyes (and somewhat therefore AHB's eyes) means gazing disapprovingly at someone and making her mouth "look like a butthole" (paraphrasing, but not the butthole part. she really says butthole). i'm assuming this was supposed to be funny, but it fell so fucking flat with me. like, these books are supposed to be romcoms. romantic fucking comedies. but most of the humor is so deeply steeped in white millennialisms that it's actually unfunny unless you're like my gen x mother who spends 90% of her time on facebook.

which, i suppose that's my biggest gripe with the books, and with AHB herself. it's a lot of self-serving nonsense, with little to no introspection about why certain things are included versus not. i mean, i can say that about a lot of popular romance novels, but thats beside the point. there is no reckoning with institutions, despite all of the call backs to how rich people suck, or how white people suck, or how men suck. it's all so very wink-wink-nudge-nudge, "im in the know, can't you tell?", correct terminology wrong ideology kinda of stuff. ok yeah, white people as the institution suck. i think we all know that. but also, ashley, every single important character, every single side character (save a couple), and every single background character (save a couple), are all white. you are actively participating in the "white is default" ideology that you seemingly dislike and make fun of in your book. so which is it?

this disconnect between AHB's story choices (all white main cast, etc) and the prose-level choices is so fucking obvious throughout the entire body of both books:

the lesbian main characters cannot call themselves lesbians, but one will call themself dyke without a second thought.

the trans-positive lesbian main characters will talk about dating/being attracted to nonbinary people, but do not have any nonbinary friends, do not talk to any nonbinary people, and the one nonbinary character included thus far speaks one (maybe twice) just to give their pronouns.

the lesbian main characters call themselves butch (or are called so by other wlw (but not lesbian) characters) and yet are still conventionally feminine in their presentations.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet josh (an ex of claire from DGDC) is consistently trying to atone for his past harm, and within the story we're given, is like, an actually alright guy.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet the worst actions taken against iris was not by her ex-boyfriend, but by her butch girlfriend (which. i have a lot of thoughts on this).

the books say they believe one thing, but are never backed up with actually evidence that this is the case.

and so, when i say the books have some radfem-y bullshit in them, this is largely what im talking about. i have no clue if AHB herself is a radfem, or exactly what she believes in. im not combing through her twitter account because she as a person annoys me, and anyone promoting her work annoys me. but she is participating in some fucked up shit, and the fact that they are so beloved just makes my ass itch and i feel like i need to speak on it more than i already do now 💀

anyway. the radfem-y stuff.

the books use some pretty covert gender essentialism when it comes to the lesbian characters vs the bisexual woman characters. every single lesbian is said to be masculine (specifically butch) while every single bisexual woman (and every single ostensibly straight woman) is, while not called out as feminine, exclusively present femininely. which....is weird. i don't think i have to say why saving masculinity for lesbians (and men) is stereotypical, and kind of gross, especially coming from someone who isn't a lesbian.

but wait! its worse! masculinity (regardless of how prescriptive vs. descriptive it is) in these books are very much associated with emotionally unavailability and callousness toward the feminine (emotional) counterpart. and really, its even worse when you compare difference within the lesbian characters (delilah, jordan, and iris' girlfriend).

delilah and jordan, when you actually examine them, are feminine presenting. they both wear red lipstick, eyeliner "sharp enough to kill a man", and in delilah's case, heels. the most masculine aspects about them is that they don't wear skirts or dresses. literally. whereas, iris's girlfriend in APDF, who only wears suits, has short cropped hair, never wears makeup, and has a stereotypically masculine job. jordan and delilah are love interests. they're allowed to grow into emotionally available people by their love for their feminine partners. the butch girlfriend, however, is a cheating piece of shit who's entire point is to set up iris' storyline for the third book in the series (a role that could've been done just as well by her ex boyfriend, who she dated in DGDC, instead of what feels like a very pointed and spiteful subplot).

so, it becomes very clear to me that masculinity is the worst thing you can have in these books. none of the men are given grace either, and i touched on it a bit earlier talking about josh. he was flaky as hell with claire and their daughter before the events of DGDC, and so claire (and by extension, her friends iris and astrid) are wary of him when he comes back into her and her daughter's lives. but, for all of that, josh isn't flaky in the book. like he very much steps up to be a good dad to his daughter. is the best? no, obviously. i dont think AHB is capable of writing a "good" character. but he literally doesn't abandon anyone, despite us being constantly told that thats what he does, to the point that when he ends up being unreachable for a couple of days, every single character freaks out and treats him like a monster. iris fucking punches him for this, even though he actually had a good reason. and im not one to defend men like 💀 i am very much a manhater, but like. cmon. it feels entirely unearned. and its that disconnect again. AHB wants you to believe that josh deserves this because he's a man, so of course he's going to be terrible, its what men do, despite him, like, not being terrible.

(and its even worse in APDF, where astrid is literally disgusted to be in his presence point blank, period, even though hes been like. consistently a decent guy.)

and my last piece in this, is natasha rojas. the otherworldly sexy and gorgeous latina host of the reality show in APDF, who literally wears a clitoris necklace. like not only is it leaning on racist stereotyping, but she's the ultimate feminine who wears a literal piece of the vagina. yonic imagery is cool and everything (genuinely, there should be more!) but this is not only extremely heavy handed in a brick-to-the-face kind of way, but also as the Ultimate Feminine, she's this deeply warm and caring and nurturing person, who is never posited as a antagonist or anything despite her positioning as a literal corporate player for HGTV (the hallmark of home renovation. every fucking person on that network is some flavor of conservative). she very much could've been a stand in for the capitalist homogenization of the housing market that HGTV absolutely caters toward, especially when you take into consideration astrid original plan for the house that she's renovating (taking it from very classically victorian to white and grey contemporary), but instead she's positioned as a mouthpiece for the glory of the clit and female sexuality only. which is fucking frustrating. and so fucking weird.

but yeah. AHB has a very white millennial liberal queer view of gender and presentation and sexuality, which in and of itself is very essentialist. but she tries to play out of her biases as a white and cis woman by making in-narrative jokes about it, but they fall completely flat because she has no idea what she's doing, and thus perpetuates the exact same shit she's trying to make fun of. she's got a lot of unchecked bigotry rattling around in that empty brain of hers, which when you're trying to write a feminist book, leans itself to radfem & white feminist ideology (which. lbr. are the fucking same but whatever).

ik this was long as hell but ty everyone who made it to the end for reading 😤🙏💓

#asks #yayyyy being critical about books #TY FOR THIS BTW #i know most of my posts complaining about books lean a lot more into the comedic #but i do genuinely think the bright falls books are like. insidiously bio/gender essentialist #and i hope that people can work to recognize this kind of stuff (i know its a lot more obvious in m/f romance because of the overwhelming #obsession with the size difference between the f lead and the m lead) when its more quiet like this #because its fucking gross to be reading a (supposedly) cute romance only to get smacked over the head with covert conservatism #when the books are marketed & frankly pandered to people who are not conservative! #delilah green doesn't care #astrid parker doesn't fail #ashley herring blake #ashley herring blake critical #i realize that i spent a lot of time talking about astrids book more than delilahs book but. ah well. i read it more recently #and its more obvious that dgdc was 🤷‍♂️

[slimylittlemaggot]

I love being an out of the closet bisexual in a conservative (with mostly Christian) students, because sometimes you'll have people who are rude and gross (which isn't fun) and then other times you'll have people who aren't out the closet know that they at least have someone else on their side, or people that don't even realize that they aren't straight or cis, and they'll start learning and figuring themselves out and you get to watch that journey and support them through it. Other times you'll have someone who comes from a homophobic family, and are so excited to be able to talk to someone that's LGBTQ+ so they can ask questions and learn about us, and I honestly think that's really sweet <3<3

#lgbtq community #lgbtqia #lgbtq #I just think it's so worth it to deal with gross people so that other people don't feel so alone #I know I really appreciated that my first semester #so I'm really happy that I get to do that for other people #plus #it also helps me get a vibe check on people #if people start avoiding me because I start putting a pride pin on my backpack? #good riddance #I don't want to hang out with you anyway #If someone who comes from a homophobic family wants to ask me questions so they can unlearn that behavior? #YES #I love that and I will gladly help in anyway I can #anyway #all this to say I've recently met a guy who comes from a homophobic family that really wants to learn about the community #and I suspect is also in the closet #just because he has told me a lot that he doesn't really care about the gender of who he's dating #but he also swears that he's straight #so if it turns out that he isn't heterosexual then I hope I get to see him figure himself out