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#growing from carrot tops
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various little Pictures of thinges
#photo context/information described here in the tags since there are no longer photo captions#(from top Left to right) image 1: BABYY!!!!! SON!!!!! HE!!!!!!!!!!!!#image 2: I found a patch of these clovers that were kind of mutated or infected or something? like they were not actually Red clovers#it was patches of totally normal green clovers except every once in a while one of them would have one leave thats red or half red or even#be completely red. AND they were growing near a patch of these wildflower weeds that have red stems to them. so I wonder if it's even poss#ble that maybe some of the red like.. got mixed in with the clovers somehow? a lot of the patches with a few red ones look spotty and unhea#thy so it could have been the sun or something. I dont know how plants work. I just thought it was really cool to find these one or two#special mutant clovers in huge patches of ohtwerise totally normal green clovers.. :0#image 3: look at these weird round fat baby carrot things... Rotund#image 4: laying out some fabrics for a costume just drafting them and seeing what looks okay in the pile and what doesnt etc.#thats my whole process is just 'throw things into a pile on the floor that look okay and match then put them on eventually' lol#image 5: MORE wii scores lol.. I think this is my best score on this one though. There's 10 little markers you have to select so getting 7#means I selected more than one per second.#image 6: I couldnt decide which type of muffins I wanted so I just made a batch of plain/vanilla batter and then added things to each littl#section to make multiple flavors without having to actually make a full batch or multiple batters lol. I think it's chocolate swirl (with d#rk chocolate chunks). banana cinnamon. strawberry. normal chocolate. rosemary and lemon. peach. ginger peach turmeric. and#'scraps of the other batters all thrown together' lol. Decent however the random recipe I found online for a basic cupcake batter was#not very good and they were weirdly dense and spongy.#image 7: A PICTURE OF THE dishscapes that I watched and rambled about (to the like 5 of you who saw that post#and read the tags of it lol).... beach houes..I still so much wish I could make my own Fantasy Screensaver Story.. oughh#image 8 & 9: a really cool flower from outside. I like that it has all these weird spindly little things from the center :0#photo diary
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seattlesellie · 9 days
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dads best friend!abby scenario cause why the hell not.
cw: sexual themes mdni, age gap, abby’s a cocky but charming asshole, power dynamics-ish? : ・ෆ・┈・┈・ᕱ⑅ᕱ・┈・┈・ෆ・ :
— "Oh and honey? Doctor Anderson's coming over for dinner" Everything felt oppressively hot and everything felt impossibly tight. The food seared your tongue, humid steam rising from the vegetables on your plate causing your throat to constrict and your eyes to sting with tears. Your right hand was clenched in a tight fist, left hand gripping your fork like it might grow legs and run away if you let go of your grasp. Your tights were itching relentlessly, tank top strap kept sliding off of your shoulder and built itself a home down your arm. Your lipgloss felt too sticky and your palms too clammy, you felt agitated, uncomfortable and way too goddamn nervous.
You felt consumed.
You didn’t know why.
Sure, Doctor Anderson was attractive, with palms twice bigger than yours. She wore a tight fitted muscle tee that had you squinting then turning your head around fast enough to crack your neck, noticing a goddamn six pack poking through maroon fabric. And yeah, she had an intoxicating scent of pine and wood and a hint of pepper that made your eyes nearly roll back inside of your skull, voice silky smooth, thighs firm and muscular, eyes icy blue, a smile that made you melt and all that stupid jazz,
but none of these things were a good enough explanation to why you were feeling this way — dazed, stupid, all bothered.
She sat down on the dinner table’s leather chair in a manspread as if she owned the place, and her thighs bulked up even more, veins of her arms becoming more prominent. She always knew what to say, and when you cracked a joke about orthopedic surgeons she cheekily told you to “watch it” — which made you thickly gulp and sheepishly smile down to the floor like your idol from age thirteen just told you they want to marry you and have you forever.
You needed an ice bath, but she also wouldn’t stop goddamn looking at you, even when you made it clear that eye contact with the surgeon, your father’s best friend, was a task that you apparently couldn’t manage to complete.
Her look made you nervous, and when she narrowed her eyes you nearly choked on a carrot, and when your father asked you “What’s wrong, kid?” you couldn’t even answer because what was wrong — was that you had to cross your legs together cause of some aching down there, and what was wrong is that his best friend made you feel like you were losing your mind at 9pm with a fork glued to your palm.
So you lied.
“M’just... tired, I guess” you murmured, then fake yawned, then internally cringed at yourself for performing the worlds fakest goddamn yawn.
“Already?” he voiced, shifting his gaze towards a visibly amused Abby. “Quite the night owl, that one... usually”
"What can I say, dad, loooong day" answered you, with a syrupy voice she wanted to stick her fingers inside and lick.
Abby chuckled, then smirked at you even though the response wasn’t directed at her. Then, she looked over to your father who was gnawing on some overcooked steak.
“She’s a kid, needs to get her sleep”
You scoffed, which made doctor Anderson poke the inside of her cheek with her tongue. “What...?” she murmured cockily, cracking a toothy grin. Your tights felt tight again, glued to your hot flesh, then you realized why they fucking call them tights because dammit they really are tight.
“I'm not a kid, can, y’know... drink, and stuff. Plus... M'busy, with... College"
You sounded like a damn idiot. All Abby did was chuckle and tilt her head back slightly, leaning further back in her chair.
“T'aw, I know, What'ryou studying again? Fashion science?”
You scoffed, crossing your arms. That bitch.
"Sorry I don't wanna go to medical school and spend seven years of my life sticking my hands down a corpse"
So you didn’t go to your room after that, caught up in a whirlwind of proving a point. You stayed stubbornly with your feet glued to the floor and listened to Abby and your father ramble and yap on about work shenanigans. Usually, you’d semi doze off at this point, go on your phone and occasionally throw a snarky remark, but this was different. She was different than any of his other friends. Abby was actually funny, she didn’t brag too much, and if she did it faded quick cause she really was that good.
Abby threw a reference to a book you thought no one else had read except for you. You timidly lifted your gaze and remarked, “Oh, i read that book, actually”
Abby smiled and flattened her hands on the wooden table. “Smart cookie, huh? Did you like it?”
You batted your eyelashes like a kitten seeking more strokes at the praise, not noticing that body language of yours.
But she did.
You talked about the book for a solid ten minutes. Your father was the one, surprisingly, to go on his phone and faux-snort when he felt excluded from the conversation ran by two intellectuals and a giant elephant who goes by the name of "Tension", in the middle of the room.
Abby made you laugh and she made you think and she listened to your anecdotes. It made you buzz with electricity, and it made you yearn for her attention.
it also made her long for yours.
Your father interrupted by showing Abby a picture from work. When her eyes lowered to his phone, she shot you a lingering gaze and a smirk. You, feeling a rush of heat to your cheeks, shyly looked away.
It was tight everywhere all over again.
So they talked more about work, Abby’s patients, their coworkers, Doctor Martha’s chicken pot pie, Doctor Johnson’s bizarre antics, the glass door no one bothered on calling to be fixed, blah blah blah, an endless stream of chatter.
And you listened, you listened with rapt attention, every ounce of your focus aimed at the prospect of another one-on-one conversation with Abby. Each time the older woman casted you with a quick glance, you flushed even harder. You waited, and waited and waited but your father was a blabber mouth, and you were oh so impatient,
you began mindlessly kicking the wooden table's legs.
Your sock-covered feet shifted restlessly from side to side, then you tucked them beneath your chair and resumed kicking, the movements gaining force. You curled your toes and continued to play with the table's handles. Abby winced, but you didn’t pay her any mind. You kicked again, with more force now.
You sighed.
Abby cleared her throat, and her cheeks suddenly bore a faint crimson blush. You couldn't help but notice, hm, must be the red wine finally catching on to her form. Ignoring, you kicked again, and the doctors back straightened and she stiffened in response. Your father asked her a question, and Abby… stammered.
“Yeah, that guys… uh— yeah”
You rested your chin on your hands and lightly tapped your fingertips against your cheeks thrice.
Then you kicked again, harder, you were bored and restless, waiting, give me some attention, Abby —
And then, you felt a pair of shoes encase your feet, ankles creating a cage around yours. It was then and only then that you had the startling realization: you hadn't been kicking the table at all. Instead, you had been unknowingly engaged in a game of footsies beneath the table with a goddamn world class surgeon.
And oh god did you want to die.
And oh god did abby sport a shit eating grin on her face that only you seemed to catch.
You froze, not even able to release your feet from her iron like grip. Unmistakably, she didn’t seem to release her grip either. So she kept them there, caged and locked.
“Alright,” your father sighed and cleared his throat. “Got some cuban cigars in the yard, shall we?” he gestured towards Abby, who was still holding your feet in her tight grasp.
“Yeah, go ‘head, I’ll just clear the table” she murmured absentmindedly. So kind and polite, huh?
You father chuckled and tapped abby on her shoulder, as he rose from his sit and straightened his back. “Nah, let the kid handle it”
Abby shot you a glance. Your pupils were dilated and your chest heaved rapidly up and down.
“She's not a kid, remember?”
Abby let go of your feet and you rose from the chair with such haste, you nearly had whiplash. When you lifted your plate, staying mute, looking like a deer caught in headlights as your father paced towards the yard, Abby gazed at you, and her eyebrow arched up in utter amusement.
“You uh, play soccer, by any chance?” quipped her, crossing her arms on her firm hard muscly chest.
You gulped.
“Huh?”
Abby lifted her wine glass to her lips, taking a sip that left a glistening sheen on her bottom lip. A chuckle escaped her.
“Jus’, y’know… with all the kicking, and everything. I mean, take a girl out for a drink before you do all that, yeah?”
You stood in shock, you didn’t speak, didn’t mutter a word, merely humming in response. Abby grabbed the plates from your hand, and then she grabbed the salt.
She furrowed her eyebrows and huffed. “M'just ’joking, smart cookie. If you wanna play, let's play"
Then you heard your father’s voice down the hall.
“Sweetheart?” he paced closer as Abby walked towards the sink. He leaned over the wall,
“forgot to mention it to you but, Abby’s staying over for the weekend”
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peachesofteal · 5 months
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Light on -single mom/neighbors fic Simon Riley/female reader Prompt(s): fire alarm, reader backstory, reader cooks for Simon, requested by multiple.
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The chair at your kitchen table is small. 
It’s so small, he’s half afraid he might break it, the rickety wood creaking under his weight, and he shifts, leaning back to test its ability, hoping it won’t give way on him. The wood makes a louder groaning sound, and your voice carries from the hall, half of a jest in your tone. 
“Are you trying to break my furniture?” Shit. 
“No.” He shoots to his feet, patting the little wooden chair like he’s trying to comfort it, embarrassed that he’d been caught. “Jus’ trying to test it, make sure it’s not gonna collapse on me.” 
You have an eyebrow raised, returning from your bedroom with a pajama clad Emmaline, little red onesie dotted with deer, your hand patting her back firmly and bouncing her in your arms at the same time, her little brow furrowed like she’s irritated with you. 
“It’s fine. I’m just kidding.” You look down at her and sigh. “Are you going to let me put you down so I can finish dinner?” 
“I can take her.” He offers, and you flash him a relieved smile. 
“Hear that?” You hum in her ear, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “Your favorite person wants to hang out with you.” His stomach clenches. 
“Come here baby girl. Let’s let mum have a break, yeah?” He reaches, and you bend down to place her in his arms, the smell of your skin, your hair, the scent of your laundry detergent flooding his senses. Emmaline is so small in his hands, but he’s growing more comfortable holding her, and when she settles against him easily, he can’t help the warmth that flares in his heart, overflowing through his body with pride, and… something else. Something strong. Something he thinks he knows the name of, but is too afraid to voice. Something that has him dreaming about giving you his last name, giving it to Emmaline too, tacking Riley onto the end of both you, as a stamp, a seal, a promise.
“She still needs to burp.” You tell him softly, pulling the cloth from your shoulder and arranging it onto his, fingers lingering when you smooth it out. “Do you know-“ 
“Yeah.” He assures, swiftly, and you smile again, hand brushing against his when you give her on last little pat on her back. 
“Okay. I’ll work on dinner then.” 
“You ah- don’t have to keep feeding me.” He tells you, even though the full plate of pot roast with stewed carrots, potatoes, and gravy makes his mouth water, massive portion settled in front of him like you’re trying to make sure he’s never hungry again. 
What a good girl, he muses indulgently. Good little mum. Good little wife. Emmaline coos in his arms, still awake, settled on his knee with her back to his stomach, one hand firm around her tummy. He bounces her, one hand with a fork stabbing into a carrot, the other holding her steady. Safely. 
“I can take her, if you want to-“ 
“No. You sit.” He inclines his head, and you blink, before automatically folding into the chair diagonal from him with your own plate. The room is quiet, fork chiming against china, until you speak again. 
“I don’t mind it.” You swallow, taking a long sip of water. “Cooking. For you.” You whisper it to your plate, like it’s a secret, like you’re ashamed, and he tamps down the urge to reach for you. “You do so much for us, you’ve- I don’t know how to repay you.” You’re mine now, sweetheart. You don’t have to repay me. It’s my job to take care of you. Take care of you both. It almost all comes out of his mouth, but instead he changes hands on the baby, putting his fork down and extending the one closest to you, palm open on the table, a gentle entreaty. 
“I don’t mind, helping. Someone’s gotta take care of you girls.” Your eyes go wide, lips parting, before you’re collecting yourself, looking down into your lap with a stunned little smile. “Sweetheart, I-“ 
The words are robbed from him, stolen by a screeching, blaring noise in the hallway, a high-pitched alarm that has him out of the chair, shoving the table with one hand and positioning himself between the door and you, curled over Emmaline who’s now crying, startled. 
“Fire alarm.” You wince, but when he doesn’t relax, your expression goes waxy, soothing, and your hand finds the inside of his elbow. “It’s just a fire alarm, Simon. People fuck with the pull station now and then. Probably nothing.” It takes a second, a second too long for his brain to catch up, and when it does, he blanches, looking you over for fear, repulsion, of him. Distaste of the secondhand reaction that he just cannot control. 
He doesn’t find it. Only blithe acceptance. Understanding. He clears his throat. “Let’s get outside then.” 
It’s cold outside. Winter is in full swing, and he’s happy he forced you into your winter jacket when did, amid your distraction, too pre-occupied with wrestling a screaming Emmaline into her coat and hat, swaddling her up in a fluffy blanket before you even stopped to think about yourself. 
“It won’t be long.” You tell him, alternating between trying to soothe the baby’s frantic tears, and looking around anxiously. “Station seventy-four is just a few blocks north.” Station seventy-four? “Look, see?” You point, cooing at Emma, red emergency lights flashing down the street. You stray closer to him, pressing into his side, and he puts his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder. You’re… nervous, and he’s not sure why. The fire alarm didn’t seem to rattle you too much but now, you’re chewing on your lip, eyes scanning across the people milling about outside. 
“You alright?” He murmurs, and you nod. 
“Just cold.” You reply through clenched teeth. 
It doesn’t take long for the fire service to get the building sorted, and once they give the all clear, you break from his side, beelining towards the front of the building. He’s about to jog after you, surprised at the pace that you've managed to make, when he hears someone calling your name. Practically yelling it, and he pulls up short.
It's a firefighter. He approaches you with an open palm, like he's trying to corner a wounded animal, and your face pinches at the corners, hand cradling the back of Emmaline's head. Simon inches closer, getting within ear shot, using the dark and the people still scattered about to sink into shadow, becoming Ghost, silent, unnoticed, and lethal. Nearly unseen.
"-are you?" The firefighter asks, staring at the baby in your arms with wide eyes.
"I'm fine. We're fine." You reply stiffly, looking away with a grim, haunted expression.
"You never come down to the station... we'd- we'd love to see you both. Or if you ever needed anything, we're here for you. We-"
"Thanks." you cut him off, trying to turn away, but he steps after you, protesting.
"I know it doesn't-"
"Officer." An older man interrupts, sharply, and the younger firefighter straightens.
"Captain."
"You're needed for system reset." He instructs, and the officer takes one last look at you, something conflicted in his face, before nodding and stepping away. "He's not wrong." The Captain tells you gently, and you shake your head.
"We don't need anything from you."
"You need community. Support. The station is a family, we look after our own."
"I'm not your own." You snap. "He was! He was your own. And how well did you look after him, Captain?" The words are vicious, pointed like arrows, seeking to maim, to hurt, and the look on your face is so anguished, so tormented, that Simon can't stand to see it for one more second.
"Everything alright?" He steps between you and the Captain, positioning his body so that you're half hidden, and your shoulders immediately slump, tension draining from you when you look up into his face.
"Yeah, let's go inside. It's too cold out." You tell him, and he nods, casting a glance over his shoulder at the frowning man, letting his hand slide over your shoulder and down your spine, directing you inside and keeping you close.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks again once you're in the hallway outside your door, and you turn into him, close enough that he can lean his nose down to skim through your hair.
"I'm okay." You whisper, fingers finding his at his hip. "We're okay."
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saerins · 10 months
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𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖…
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+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 2.5k | content: fluff, pining, mentions of fake dating, jealousy, reader is kind of an idiot, sae loves to tease, best friend otoya, cussing
notes: hello hello i’m on board the sae love train once more , are you guys still with me ^_^
summary: what do you do when your best friend kind of sort of forces you to confess your two-year long crush when you’re not ready to? pray and hope for the best.
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“i could just tell him for you.”
“eita, fuck no,” you throw him a warning glare as you chop the vegetables up with scary precision despite not having an eye on them. only because you know if you don’t explicitly tell him not to, that he’d think it’s no big deal and do it anyway.
and let’s say, you’d rather die than let that happen.
sure, you and sae had been closer back in high school; he sat behind you and entertained the secret notes you passed to him, he used to ruffle the top of your head whenever you pouted, he used to buy food for you during breaks.
but that’s all in the past and somehow, the both of you had drifted since then.
otoya deadpans, an unamused pair of eyes looking back at you from their spot across the island. “it’s been what, four fucking years since you graduated? grow a pair,” he retorts, attempting to steal a carrot but getting a slap on the back of his hand instead.
“bold of you to say that to a girl with a knife,” you snap at him, pointing the blade at his face.
to which he merely rolls his eyes, using two fingers to push it aside. “not like you’re that good at using it.” but he sighs when you silently turn your attention back to chopping vegetables. “does that mean i have to put up with your miserable face even longer?”
you and otoya continue to bicker, and you’re beginning to wonder how you’ve tolerated being best friends with him for the past four years. he’s a real piece of work.
“fine, fine,” otoya grumbles after you’re done with lunch, bangs over his eyes. “i promise i won’t tell sae anything, okay?”
that’s after you threatened not to let him hijack your house anymore for food. for someone who’s earning big bucks being a famous soccer player, you can’t make sense of why he won’t just get food delivered. maybe he just likes to annoy you.
“good. or else i’ll kill you.”
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your crush on itoshi sae has been somewhat dormant for the past few years. and by dormant you mean that you haven’t tried making any moves because you’re too scared.
itoshi sae. one of the most famous international breakout stars in soccer. one of the most talented playmakers the world has ever seen. that comes with its own sets of pros and cons.
pros? he definitely doesn’t seem like he has much trouble doing anything he wants. he gets paid for every game. he gets paid for gigs. he gets sponsorships all over the place. which basically means that financially, he doesn’t need to give a shit.
cons? the media can be brutal. sae does something that’s remotely questionable and they’re all over it. he doesn’t thank a waiter that one time? automatically labeled as a rude brat by the paparazzi. and not to mention—the amount of girls he’s forced to fake date just for the sake of publicity.
you’re mostly pressed on that last part though, because they’re all supermodels or olympic stars or rich socialites. and compared to them, well, you’re just someone who happens to be in the same friend group and hang out together every once in a while when he’s back in japan. sae doesn’t even hang out much with the group, to your dismay.
it’s a pain, or so he says.
you wonder how you drifted in the first place. maybe it’s just the fame. you wonder if he thinks of you too sometimes.
must be your wishful thinking.
kind of makes you wonder whether he does have a secret girlfriend that he’s keeping from everyone. you wouldn’t really put it past him. it’s not like he has any super deep emotional bonds with any of you (that you know of). eita says he’s definitely single, but you think he’s just saying that to appease you. he already has his hands full having to watch you mope whenever you see news of sae and another girl and yet another dating rumor.
just as well. you think sae could do better than you, spending your friday nights at home, washing dishes at the sink and looking out at the tokyo skyline instead of out partying and living life with countless friends.
you don’t think you’re too shabby though. you’re a fresh graduate with a job at one of the most prestigious companies in tokyo you can think of. it’s not bad. but you can’t help but feel it’s worlds away from the one sae lives in.
the doorbell rings, snapping you out of your thoughts, nearly dropping the white marble plate you’re washing. your eyes snap to the clock in the living room. it’s almost 9pm—right about the time when eita usually comes knocking and asking you for supper.
groaning, you wash whatever’s left of the dish soap away from your hands and sloppily dry them against the bottom of your shirt, grumbling out loud about how you really should stop coming here whenever the fuck you want, eita while you stomp over to the front door.
you open the door, messy hair and bare face and baggy clothes, fully expecting to smack some sense into otoya eita when you feel yourself freeze up at the pair of eyes looking back at you.
they’re teal and framed by pretty long lashes and definitely don’t belong to your best friend.
what the fuck is he doing here?
this is one of the rare times that you’d actually prefer to see eita at your front door instead.
sae raises a brow, giving you a once-over. of course, he’s never seen you in this state—hair disheveled, clothes wrinkled, not a trace of makeup on your face. you’d made sure that whenever there was a possibility that sae would see you that you dressed yourself up as nice as possible. if you’d known he was coming over, you’d have at least dressed decently. definitely not baggy shirt and pants that you can barely see.
“uh… w-what are you doing here?” stupid, but the best you can manage.
he has his hands in his gray sweat pockets, and fuck him for wearing a black compression top. you can just make out the outline of his abs under there, the muscles on his arms already much too obvious with those short sleeves.
“dunno, eita said there was an emergency and i needed to get here,” sae says, wholly unbothered, monotonous as usual. he lets himself in, toeing his shoes off at the entryway, positioning them neatly beside your everyday sneakers.
fucking eita.
judging by what you know, sae was probably on his way for an evening jog when otoya called him. he still has his wireless earbuds in. you wonder if anything’s even playing.
sae takes it off once he catches you staring.
he’s not carrying anything. it’s just him. you wonder if anyone managed to catch him coming over. is his most recent pr stunt already over? won’t do either of you any good if he’s labeled as a cheater.
“so? what is it?” sae asks you, again, while he walks himself inside, curious eyes looking around your apartment, and suddenly you’re hyper aware. you hope to god you didn’t leave any of your inner wear lying around at random places.
in a panic, you rush over to him, blocking his path inside, both hands on his chest as you attempt to push him back to the front door. unfortunately for you, sae’s much stronger than you are, his body not budging an inch.
“it’s nothing, he made a mistake,” you sigh, giving up when you figure that sae’s only going to move of his own accord. “he’s probably just playing a prank on you, that’s all.”
you’re hoping, praying, wishing that sae will just take your word for it and go. because that’s what he does; he doesn’t hover much, doesn’t care about anything much at all. you don’t even know the last time he’s asked about how any of your lives are doing.
the world must hate you though, because sae only offers a grunt in response before looking towards your kitchen (you’re internally sighing in relief, glad that you cleaned your kitchen up before this). “i’m thirsty, you have anything to drink?”
you blink at him, stumped that sae is wasting his precious time in your apartment, but who are you to say no to sae, of all people?
“yeah, sure, juice?”
sae shrugs, “whatever.”
you turn your back on him, slowly taking your carton of apple juice and finding the nicest glass that exists in your cupboard, cursing yourself internally for not preparing for unexpected guests enough. you do this slowly partly because you’re trying to calm your stupid heart down, still not fathoming why on earth sae’s wasting his time with you.
carefully, you rehearse yourself in your head, where you’re going to step, how you’re going to walk over to him—you really are just hopeless. count it your bad luck that the moment you turn around, you nearly drop the glass because you’re forgetting a really fundamental issue here: your merch.
“no no no, uh—” you leave the glass on the countertop, scurrying over to where sae’s staring and thumbing at something on your coffee table.
sae looks at your flustered reaction, giving you way to grab your things off the table and stuff them in the drawer where they’re out of sight. he blinks at you, a slight amusement bubbling inside him.
“wow, big fan, huh?”
you don’t know what’s worse: you being your most unpresentable self right now or that sae just caught you having some of his merch.
“so you have some of eita’s merch lying around too or is it just mine?”
you could die of embarrassment right now.
back still turned to sae, you desperately search your brain for answers. thinking on the spot doesn’t seem like your strong suit right now.
“it… was a gift.” believable, right?
sae hums, as though he’s contemplating. “why just mine then? why not oliver’s or my brother’s?”
fuck.
“i don’t know, maybe yours was the only one that wasn’t sold out.”
“ouch.”
you didn’t mean to indirectly insult him but what’s a drowning girl to do?
sae sighs when you keep quiet, still staying out where you are, trembling too much to move. “didn’t know you were in love with me.”
this time, you whip your head around to face him—that same stoic expression of his unchanging on his face. “am not!”
his brows shoot up. “but you bought some of my merch.”
“i told you, it was a gift.”
you need to get paid for still standing up on your own two feet right now. your head’s way too giddy from the interaction, considering.
“even that figurine over there?” sae’s finger points to a small toy just barely visible behind the nooks of the bookshelf. it’s a small figurine; something sold a few years back when sae was just first starting out. you’d bought it because, well, you’d thought chibi sae looked cuter than actual sae. (especially now when he’s just staring blankly at you.)
“that was…”
“a gift?”
you think he’s making fun of you now at this point.
“anyway, we’ve established that there’s no emergency here so why don’t you just go?” you’re pretty sure sae won’t ever talk to you again—not after coming across what he did tonight. he probably thinks you’re a freak, probably questions why he even considers you his friend (to which you’re now wondering if that’s even true at all).
you make a mental reminder to yourself to kill otoya eita tomorrow.
sae lets you push him towards the entryway, apple juice long forgotten on the countertop, collecting condensation with water pooling below the glass.
“you must like me a lot, huh?” he ponders out loud as you continue pushing him towards the door. you see a hint of cockiness in his stare now, the slightest tug of a smirk on the corner of his lips.
“i do n—”
“be careful what you say,” sae cuts you off, toeing his shoes back on, looking glamorous as ever and you nearly forget that he looks straight out of a magazine even in his sportswear. “‘cause i’ll believe you.”
part of you wants him to just go already so your knees can buckle under, but part of you wants to ask him what he means. what’s he insinuating? isn’t the answer clear enough.
but now it’s way past nine and he’s all ready to go yet he’s still standing at your doorway, waiting for your answer. you want to scream no, you want to keep your secret safe, you don’t want him to know about the crush you’d been harbouring. but he told you to be careful what you say because he’ll believe you.
“s-so what if i do?” you stutter, failing to look him in the eyes, your stare focused on the air in between you.
sae’s features soften ever so slightly, like he wasn’t expecting you to give in so quickly, but it isn’t one of disgust. it’s more like one of pleasant surprise.
after what seems like an eternity, sae finally opens his mouth.
“you must’ve gotten jealous a lot with all those girls i’d gone out with.”
your fist instinctively connect with his arm, his stoic finally giving way to a grimace, palm rubbing his triceps in pain. out of all the things to say, he chooses to say that? you think he deserves it.
“you know what, sae? you can go back to your fake girlfriends, i could care less,” you snap at him, pouting. you hate that despite how ignorant his words are that you can’t find it in yourself to hate him.
sae exhales sharply, chuckling softly when he sees your pout, and you feel as though it’s the first time you’ve seen him like this even though it’s not. his hand comes up to ruffle the top of your head gently, and you’re reminded of when he did this to you back in high school.
“can’t do that, can i?” he tells you, that soft disposition gone and the stoic mischief coming right back. “not when i’m in front of who could be my real girlfriend.”
your heart might’ve forgotten how to beat.
sae leaves you standing there, left to your own devices as he exits your apartment, fully aware of his effect on you.
not long after he leaves (while you’re still standing in the doorway), your phone buzzes in your pocket. you fish it out and see his name there for the first time in a long time.
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you smile to yourself as you read his message. okay, so maybe you’ll spare eita’s life for now.
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justporo · 4 months
Text
Sweet Things
You've been brooding all day, even Astarion is at a loss on how to pull you out of it - until he offers you a sweet treat, with lots of bickering of course.
MASTERLIST | AO3
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Author's Note: Written for the Hot Chocolate/Mulled Wine" prompt of the BG3 Winter Holiday challenge. Honestly my favourite piece I've written so far for the challenge - let's see if it will stay this way.
Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav (You) Warnings: none Wordcount: 1,6k
~~~
You had been in a bad mood the whole day with no particular reason for it. And nothing was able to lift your mood. Not even your vampire and his usual shenanigans had been able to pull you out of your puddle of negative feelings. Especially when Astarion had suggested you come with him into the city to run some errands.
The usual excitement you felt to go outside during the crispy cold but beautiful winter weather, to walk through the snow and see the lights in the city - it was non-existent today. In fact, you had taken one look out of the tall living room window, scowled and Astarion had thrown a little fit about how ‘you made him venture forth into the perils of the winter smitten city so the two of you may yet survive the bitter cold’. But even his histrionics, little pout and round red eyes had done nothing to change your mind.
Astarjon had sighed in defeat: “Alright, my love, you go and soak in your bad mood as long as you can, I'll wrangle you out of it soon enough.” “Don't threaten me with a good time, Astarion”, you had replied dryly but the vampire had just smirked. A plan had undoubtedly been set into motion. After that he had been off to go into the city - of course not without coming over to you, cupping your face softly and pressing a kiss to your lips.
Afterwards you had tried to make your peace with your bad mood and had curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace, just staring into the flickering flames.
A while later you heard Astarion return to your shared home.
“I've returned from the hunt, my love, and I bring you some bounty”, the vampire declared. You turned around to see him standing in the doorframe with a huge grin and an inconspicuously looking bag in his hand. You saw some melting snowflakes glisten in his curls. He looked very proud of himself with how he let the bag dangle in front of you, one eyebrow lifted inquisitively.
Oh, you knew he was daring you to ask about it. This was one of his signature ways to get what he wanted: teasing you by holding the carrot in front of your face and then quickly moving it out of your reach with an “ah ah ah” and a fang-baring grin. 
And you felt how his tactic even slowly started to work now.
“A bag? Aw Astarion, you shouldn't have! Bags are my favourite!”, you gave back and felt a sassy grin grow on your face. Turning around on your knees on the plush sofa you placed your arms on the rim of the piece of furniture and then placed your cheek on top of it - basically hugging the backrest.
The vampire frowned at you, obviously unsatisfied with your insolent reaction. But he wouldn't be Astarion were he to give up because of that.
“Yes, a bag. And if you stop being such a miserable and yet so sassy little thing, you might even get what's inside of it”, he snapped back mockingly.
“You know, usually this time of year when someone threatens you with the thing they have inside their bag it's a rod to punish the naughty.”
“Well, seeing how naughty you've been to me today, who says there isn't a rod in there?” His grin had turned sultry, his gaze dropping in a way that made other than your negative feelings churn inside of you.
“I repeat myself from earlier: don't threaten me with a good time, Astarion”, you replied with a smirk. Simultaneously you noticed that your bad mood was slowly lifting. Well, he was your soulmate after all, wasn't he? He knew all the tricks.
Astarion in the meantime had put his hands on his hips in an affronted manner. You heard telltale, soft clanking sounds coming from the bag and raised your eyebrows at the vampire.
“So, are we sulking or are we trying to outwit me, eh?”, he commented with a little sneer, but you knew he was only teasing. “Can you at least decide what your mood is?”, he continued when you first made big sad puppy eyes at him and then stuck out your tongue at him. “It's getting exhausting to keep track of your whims, love.”
He quickly and easily dodged the pillow you threw at his face and grinned at you.
“That's pretty rich coming from you, love”, you answered and flipped him off. “Now tell me what's in the bag!”
The vampire clicked his tongue in disapproval: “You lost the privilege of finding out when you threw the pillow, no you'll have to wait.”
You threw another pillow with a pout but your partner had quickly turned and left the room altogether. 
Since you had no intention of losing other privileges and knew exactly that Astarion was way too greedy for praise and thus would come to you again, you just turned around and lounged on the couch once more. You closed your eyes and felt that most of your bad mood had disappeared already, so you simply relaxed to the bustling and rustling that had started coming from the kitchen.
You hadn't planned on drifting off.
But then you were awoken again by the smell of something delicious filling your nose. You opened your eyes and saw an incredibly ugly mug in the form of a boot in front of you.
But more important than its form were its contents you immediately recognised as: delicious hot chocolate with some slowly melting meringue drops on top of it.
And when you looked up you saw that Astarion was holding the cup almost directly under your nose with a smug grin on his lips.
“Something sweet for my sweet thing?”, he asked while batting his eyelashes excessively and his grin growing even broader.
“Where did you find the most hideous mug on this plane of existence?”, you replied and sat up on the sofa - also making space for Astarion to sit beside you.
The vampire sighed massively while he sat beside you and handed you the mug: “You are a ghastly little thing today, have I told you that?”
“At least with me it’s only today.”
Now even Astarion was flabbergasted.
“By the gods, love”, he said with raised eyebrows and then took a swig from his own mug you hadn’t noticed before. “You really do spend too much time in my company”, he finished after he had put down the cup again.
You peeked over at his cup and figured he must have gone for something with a little more kick than hot chocolate - mulled wine most likely.
“And now go and drink your hot chocolate which I so painstakingly made for you, love, or I’ll show you ghastly”, he said and leaned to you, narrowing his red eyes at you. You just made big innocent puppy eyes at him again.
You had every intention to comply - but first you swung your legs over his and covered the both of you with your blanket to make it extra cosy. And then after some fussing from the vampire and some readjusting you had snuggled up on the couch. Astarion kept sipping on his mulled wine and you finally tasted your hot and sweet beverage.
When the first of the rich, warm taste hit your tongue, you couldn’t help but let out a pleased moan and let your head fall back.
“It tastes amazing, love”, you moaned and let your eyes roll in delighted pleasure.
“Well then. Maybe I should introduce some hot chocolate in the bedroom if this is how you react to it”, Astarion commented. He was trying to play over it with his sultry joke but he was obviously proud of himself for having made what caused this reaction in you.
“You prepared it perfectly, Astarion, thank you”, you said now in a genuine tone and let one of your hands cover his which he had carefully placed on your blanket-covered knees.
He looked at you then with a small, sweet smile.
“Thanks for taking the time and the patience to put up with me and make this, Astarion”, you said and softly squeezed his hand. His smile grew broader.
You sat and drank and talked and joked. At some point you made Astarion try his own creation while you got a sip of his also very delicious mulled wine. He insisted he still preferred savory because he already had that one sweet thing in his life. But you saw him lick his lips after trying the chocolate.
When you had downed your beverage to the last drop, you sighed contentedly while the vampire looked fully pleased with himself.
“Feel better now?”, he asked and put his mug down on the floor. You simply nodded and watched as he leaned over to you.
“Good”, he whispered while he kept leaning in closer still. “But you still have a little something there”, he continued in a deep tone and eyed your already opened lips. You just made a silent “oh” while you expectantly awaited yet another treat from Astarion.
He softly grabbed your chin and closed the distance between you. You closed your eyes, expecting the kiss.
But then the vampire just grossly licked over and around your top lip to get rid of the remaining chocolate there.
You kicked and squealed trying to get him off you and stop torturing you with this gross procedure but he had the upper hand.
And then he had jumped up grabbing both your cups, promising to return with a refill of mulled wine for the both of you while you wiped off your mouth with the back of your hand.
“And you call me ghastly”, you screamed after Astarion but you couldn’t stop the big smile spreading over your face.
From the kitchen you only heard the vampire’s laughter in response.
Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess @darlingxdragon
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nolita-fairytale · 4 months
Text
your past and mine are parallel lines | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader
summary: a run-in with an old friend sparks a conversation between you and carmy of the people you loved before each other. or rather, the one in which you meet claire.
warnings: use of she/her pronouns, no use of y/n, second person pov, swearing, tooth rotting fluff, not-your-normal jealousy fic, soft!carmy, lives in the world of make my heart surrender
wc: 3.9k
a/n: ok so hear me out: i just want to write about healthy relationships right now and that is where i'm at. this is not your normal jealousy fic and i hope you still enjoy! this lives in the world of 'make my heart surrender' because of course it does and takes place a month after my oneshot, j is for j beard and jealousy.
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masterlist
It begins with forgotten carrots, tops attached, of course – a necessary ingredient to the dish that you’ve been working on all afternoon together. Usually, you’d go for a rainbow bunch, but for the puree, aesthetically of course, the classic orange carrot is much better suited. You’d hadn’t put them on the grocery list the day before, certain that you had a bunch or two at home sitting in your vegetable drawer, only to find mid-recipe development that you did not, in fact, have carrots at home. It doesn’t take long for Carmy to suggest a quick trip to the store, insisting that you come with him because this is a date, after all. 
It’s something you and Carmy have decided to do, now that neither of you are needed at the restaurant 24/7: a cooking date at home which, despite the fact that this date night was an idea born out of both of your desires to introduce more fun into your lives, will inevitably become a dish that Carmy tries to put on the menu anyways.
Divide and conquer is the strategy: while you hit up the produce aisle, Carmy is sent on a mission to procure a bottle of orange wine for dinner later tonight. 
But what’s supposed to be a simple Saturday afternoon grocery store run takes a turn for the intriguing as you hear a laugh – a woman’s laugh – and the familiar sound of your boyfriend’s voice muttering something about the name of his restaurant.
As you approach, you spot your boyfriend and the woman he’s found himself in a conversation with. Carmy leans against the refrigerator doors, his chest square to the brunette, bathed in neon blues from the refrigerator lights. 
“Because you’re the bear. And I remember you,” you hear her say. You observe carefully, the look of surprise and the blush that runs across Carmy’s cheeks in response to her words are not lost on you. 
There’s a palpable energy between them as they converse, and it feels as if all the blood is rushing to your head as you cut the tension with a single: 
“Hey.” 
As the brunette turns to you, you’re only a little taken aback by how beautiful she is. With long, thick, dark hair, she has piercing blue eyes, similar to the ones you’ve found yourself lost in in your years spent loving Carmen Berzatto. You feel almost silly as you stand there, holding a bunch of carrots in your right hand, suddenly grateful that your have your favorite of Carmy’s denim jackets tied around your waist (for “just in case the store’s got the AC blasting,” Carmy had reminded you before you left the house earlier). 
“Hi,” is all she replies, an almost too-friendly smile plastered to her face, as she takes a few steps towards you. “I’m Claire. I’m…” She trails off before stealing a glance over at Carmy before continuing with, “...an old friend. Of Carmy’s.” As the woman called Claire extends a hand out to you, you take it, giving her hand a curt shake as you introduce yourself. 
It dawns on Carmy, who has slipped into a state of what can only be considered as shock, that he probably should’ve introduced the two of you sooner as he mutters an apology under his breath. 
“Shit, yeah, sorry. I probably should’ve-. I uh, um, Claire. Yeah. This is uh, this is my girlfriend,” Carmy manages to get out, his face growing increasingly deeper shades of red as the words tumble out of his mouth. 
“Your-? Wow, oh my god! It’s-it’s so nice to meet you,” Claire replies, trying her best to hide the surprise in her voice as it increases in pitch with every word. 
“So… what’re you two up to-?” she begins to ask, looking from you to Carmy with wide, quizzical eyes. “Carrots. We’re uh…,” is the first thing that comes to mind as the words fly from your lips. “... buying carrots.” 
You realize how stupid it sounds, completely caught off guard, as you scramble to find any word in the English language that doesn’t sound as ridiculous as what you’ve just said. 
You wonder if this is how Carmy felt when you ran into Nate at the James Beard Awards about a month ago. 
At this rate, something’s gotta be in retrograde, right? you think to yourself as you try to push down your feelings of embarrassment. 
“Right,” Carmy mutters, while Claire tries to get the conversation back on track. 
“Well, it’s really good to see you, Bear. Really. I’ll have to stop by the restaurant sometime,” she says, preparing to excuse herself. 
“Yeah,” Carmy nods, still avoiding as much direct eye contact as possible. 
Bear.
It shouldn’t bother you as much as it does, and yet, you can’t help the feeling that wells inside of you as she says the name. 
The family name. 
His childhood name. 
It feels more intimate than it should, and maybe it is. 
You swallow, trying to shake the feeling. 
“Yes. Yeah, we’d uh… let us know. When you’re there,” you continue, exchanging a look with Carmy, who only nods along. 
“Oh, you’re a-, you work there too? At the restaurant,” Claire asks, eyeing the carefully drawn fruits and veggies that adorn the length of your arms, permanently inked there forever. 
“Yeah. Uh. Pastry chef,” you reply with a small laugh. 
She nods, almost as if she’s accepted an unspoken agreement – something you’re not sure you’ll ever know. 
“Well it was nice to meet you,” she says once more, shooting a soft smile in your direction, before excusing herself. “And it’s good to see you, Carmy.” 
As you watch Claire walk away, Carmy’s still frozen inside of what he thinks could be the most awkward experience of his month so far. 
“So… that was weird,” you say, as you turn towards your boyfriend. He mutters something in agreement because the only thing he can think of to say is, what the fuck just happened. 
And he’s barely figured that out. 
“Do… you want to talk about it?” you ask skeptically, dragging out the ‘o’ at the beginning of your question. 
“Not really,” he mumbles softly, shaking his head. 
“Great, me either,” you’re quick to reply, even though you both know that you’re going to have to talk about this eventually. 
—-------------------------------------
It seems to be a day of forgetfulness, as Carmy realizes that he’s left his notebook at the restaurant – something he’s been working out of for any and all new ideas, a habit you think he picked up from Syd. It’s not entirely out of the way, so the two of you decide to stop by on the way home. You enter through the back, hoping to skirt the tongue lashing you’ll both get for coming in – even just for a few minutes – on your day off. 
But a hall-pass just isn’t in the cards for either of you, as you’re instantly spotted, arm-in-arm, by Richie who’s just ended the pre-dinner shift all hands meeting. 
“It’s your day off! Get the fuck outta here,” Richie calls out to you with a shake of his head. “You two. I swear.” 
“I just forgot my notebook. We’re in, then we’re out. I swear!” Carmy defends himself, holding up his hands. 
“Yeah, yeah,” Richie dismisses him before issuing a warning with a wag of his finger. “You better not stay longer than five minutes, you got that?” 
“In and out. Scout’s honor,” you answer, before the abrupt interjection of Fak’s voice stops you from saying anything else. 
“Incomiiiiiiiing!” Fak cries, as he bursts through the doors. “Ahhhh man. Hey Carm! I heard you ran into Claire Bear.” 
Claire Bear?
You shoot Carmy a quizzical look that he’s more than eager to avoid. 
“The fuck are you talkin’ about?” Richie snaps as Carmy simultaneously lets out as: “Jesus fuckin’ Christ. What do you-? How? Already?!” “Fuck it’s been two fuckin’ seconds,” Carmy grits his teeth, trying his best to answer Richie’s question. “But apparently news travels fast.” He shoots you an apologetic look as he explains, “She’s uh… close family friends with the Faks.” 
“Ahhh,” you let out. “She seem good? Bet she was glad to see ya,” Fak inquires, overenthusiastically winking in Carmy’s direction. 
“Yeah she’s uh… she’s gonna be a doctor in a few months huh?” Carmy replies, trying his best to avoid Fak’s continuous winks. 
“Who the fuck is Claire?” Sydney asks, as she enters the conversation. Syd quickly notices the confused look on your face, in contrast to the embarrassed one on Carmy’s, and a more than eager Fak, much to Richie’s dismay. 
It’s as if he can read the situation in one look as Richie cuts in this time with an explanation:
“Will you stop it, fucko? Jesus Christ.” Richie turns his attention to you this time as shakes his head, brushing off Fak’s earlier comment. “She’s just a kid from the neighborhood. That’s all.” 
“Just a kid from the neighborhood?! You, Richie, you are not nice!” Fak exclaims. 
But Richie is faster, quick to dismiss the man as he cuts him off with a few sharp words about fixing his bowtie before dinner service starts. As they bicker back and forth, trading barbs like brothers, Carmy has returned to his ‘I really don’t want to talk about this’ body language, his shoulders slumped and completely avoiding eye contact. 
“Okay. Um…. Raise your hand if you’re off the clock but you’re acting really fuckin’ weird right now,” Sydney says, looking from you to Carmy, and then back to you. 
“I…” you try your best to explain to no avail – mostly because you’re not sure what to explain yet. 
“We should go. Let’s get out of here, yeah?” you propose, directing your attention towards Carmy again. You’re more than happy to be met with a nod as Carmy excuses himself, darting into his office to retrieve the notebook he came here for in the first place. 
You can tell that he’s not ready to talk about it, and after the weirdness today, you’re beginning to wonder more and more about this Claire girl. Carmy had never mentioned an ex-girlfriend. You knew that there were short-lived flings here and there throughout his twenties, but by the time you met him, it was just you and him, trapped inside your little bubble of denial and unspoken feelings until you weren’t. 
Claire doesn’t quite seem like an ex, but you could feel that she wasn’t just a girl from the neighborhood that Carmy grew up with either. 
“You good?” Sydney asks, immediately noticing your discomfort. 
“Yes,” you answer, unconvincingly. “Sooooo….?” Sydney begins to ask. 
So what’s going on? So what was that all about? 
“Girl, I will let you know when I know,” you answer, shooting her a matching look. 
“Godspeed, my friend,” Sydney replies with a salute, eliciting a much needed laugh from you. “I’m gonna get back to work but uh… I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” you nod, trying your best to shake off this weird feeling. 
As you watch her go, you’re too caught up in the what-the-fuck-ness of it all that you barely notice as Richie approaches. 
“You know you got nothin’ to worry about, right, sweetheart?” Richie asks you, interrupting the thoughts swimming around in your head. 
“No yeah. I-, he’ll tell me when he’s ready,” you reply, almost as if you’re trying to convince yourself. 
“You ready?” you hear Carmy ask. 
“Yeah,” you nod, before giving Richie a small smile because his reassurance means a lot. “Thanks, Richie.” 
As you wave goodbye, Carmy takes your hand before leading you out of the restaurant and en route towards home. There’s a thick tension between the two of you, filled with things left unsaid. It’s more of an awkward kind of tension as Richie’s words echo in your head: 
You know you got nothin’ to worry about, right, sweetheart? 
It means more to you than he knows – that Richie is in your corner. It’s not like the two of you are best friends, but you have a mutual understanding that you’ve been good for Carmen ever since you reentered his life. 
You’ve become a patient woman, knowing that, most of the time, Carmy has to come to you on his own time. You trust him wholeheartedly, and you trust that he’ll tell you when he’s ready. It just doesn’t help the anticipation that’s been building inside of you all afternoon. 
“You know. We’re gonna have to talk about this eventually,” you say, breaking the comfortable silence between you. 
“Yeah,” Carmy answers quietly, giving your hand a confident squeeze. And if it’s a promise, he adds, “Yeah, I know.”
—-------------------------------------
You’re barely paying attention to George Clooney’s portrayal of a former raider turned newspaper columnist of a fox, entirely distracted by your game of cat and mouse that you play with Carmy and his attention. You can feel his eyes on you as you take another sip from your wine glass, the funky and sour notes hitting your tongue as he watches you closely, your head hazy from getting towards the end of the second glass.  
Carmy sighs, shifting his body position, as if choosing the comfiest position will embolden him to tell you what’s been on his mind.
He lets out yet another sigh, this one much heavier than the last and you know he’s working up the nerve. 
You cradle your wine glass in your hands, giving the last of the orange elixir a swirl as you settle into the couch, your back pressed against the arm of it as you stretch your legs out in front of you. 
“Penny for your thoughts?” you finally ask him, and he lets out one last sigh of relief, almost as if he’s been waiting for you to ask. 
“Uh… yeah, actually,” Carmy admits, hesitantly.
You’ve been waiting for him to get here, taking in the vulnerable look on his face as he searches for the words he thinks will best convey what he wants to say. “So… there was like… someone… before me, yeah?” Carmy drags out, his face soft as he asks you a question that takes you by surprise. 
You let out what can only be described as a laugh and a sob as you reply with: 
“What do you mean?” you choke out, the laugh that escapes your body providing much needed relief. 
It’s not what you expected. That’s for sure. 
“You know…” he trails off, before taking another deep breath because as much as he hates to admit it, it’s really the only example he’s got. “Like… I know… about Nate.” “Nate?!” you exclaim with an even bigger laugh. “Bear, are you… are you asking me about my exes?” 
“Uh… yeah…” he admits on an exhale, almost embarrassed to be asking. “I guess uh-, I guess I am.” In his bashfulness, you giggle, reaching out to give his arm a squeeze as you begin to understand that he’s ready to talk about what happened in the grocery store. 
Carmy takes a breath, and you watch his posture soften.
“Well, Nate barely counts as an ex. I don’t… That was more of a… one-time mistake kind of thing,” you admit, knowing that it wasn’t all that long ago that Carmy found out about it in the first place. 
“Right,” Carmy nods, his gaze focused on his knees for a moment because even though he brought it up, he’d really like to stop talking about Nate right about now. 
“But!” you begin, trying your best to meet him where he’s asking you to. “The guy I dated… right before I met you, Alec was… definitely someone I consider an ex. 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah um… we were together for two years… just before I started working at our old spot,” you begin, willing to give him as much information as he wants. “So why didn’t it work out?” Carmy asks curiously. 
“I don’t know, babe. I racked my brain trying to figure that one out a ton when we first broke up,” you sigh, uncertain of how to answer that question. You take your time choosing to be as honest as possible in your explanation. “I think… I don’t know. He was never as sure about me as I was of him.”
“We were great together, y’know? He was kind, and smart… he made me laugh… And we were really happy together for a long time. I mean, I think we were exactly what each other needed as the people we were in that time of our lives,” you explain, elaborating on what really worked in your relationship with Alec. 
“But eventually, none of that stuff really mattered because all I wanted was to be with someone who felt as crazy about me as I did about them, you know? And… he wasn’t… entirely sure.” 
Carmy lets out a deep breath as he takes your words in. 
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he apologizes, as he feels the weight of your words. “I guess… well, I guess I didn’t know about all that.” 
“Well, I didn’t exactly tell you,” you shrug. 
Carmy thinks it over, wondering why he never asked you about your broken heart back then – not that he was ever really good about that kind of stuff  – the talking about feelings kind of stuff, and whatnot. 
But he wants to be good at it now. Or, at least he’d like to try. He wants to try to be good at it for you. 
“Guy’s a fuckin’ loser,” Carmy comments, a bitterness in his voice as he does. “I can’t imagine it.” 
“Hm?” 
“Not being crazy about you,” he answers, his tone confident as his eyes catch yours. 
Your heart flutters with the way he looks at you, and between his words and his certainty about you, you can’t regret the past – not even a little bit. 
“It’s okay, Bear,” you reassure him, and you mean it. “If Alec and I had stayed together… well, you and I never would’ve….” 
“Danced around each other for over two years?” Carmy points out letting out a dry laugh. “Right,” you chuckle in agreement, with a playful eye roll. 
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.” 
“We’re here now. Isn’t that what’s important?” you ask with a shrug and a half smile. 
This time, his tone much more serious, Carmy answers with a, yeah, that feels heavier than the previous ones. 
You and Carmy both take a beat, letting the reality of your life with each other sink in. It’s as if all the ‘no’s of the past lead you here to this moment, and you’d have it no other way. 
“So. Who… is Claire?” you ask, earning a groan from Carmy as he swears under his breath with a shake of his head. You stretch out your leg, just enough to poke him with your big toe as he chuckles, wanting nothing more than to avoid this question. 
“It’s just… well you’ve never really told me about any of your exes!”
“Well she’s not really… my ex,” Carmy blushes, averting his gaze once again. 
“Well, she doesn’t really seem like just a friend,” you point out, and it suddenly feels like you’re showing your entire hand. Carmy agrees with you on an exhale, reminding himself that he wants to try the whole ‘better at talking about feelings’ thing with you. 
“Okay. Uh… well… we’ve known each other for like… forever, I guess,” Carmy begins to explain running a hand through his curls. “Her family is close with the Faks and I-, I-, uh… well, I sort of… had this massive crush on her… like all throughout school.” 
“What?” you ask, genuinely curious about his sudden coyness. 
“It’s embarrassing!” he defends himself, with a dry laugh. 
“Carmy, it’s not!” you insist, sitting up straight this time to reach for his hand. “Was it weird for you? Earlier today?” 
“Uh. Kinda, yeah,” he confesses, stealing a glance your way. 
“Yeah?” you ask. 
“Yeah. Like… a lot. Was that… not obvious?” he shoots back, this time with a shake of his head. “I just-. I don’t know. It was weird.”
“Good weird or bad weird?” you ask again, patiently. “Just… weird, babe,” Carmy answers honestly with a shrug of his own. 
You nod in understanding, wanting to give him the space to share more if he’d like to. It’s not that you were worried about Claire… but it had been weird, earlier today – and even stranger when no one was giving you a proper explanation. “I-, I-, it’s like. I had such a big crush on her. And I could barely work up the nerve to talk to her like… I was sort of just this-, this total fuckin’ loser,” Carmy continues, his eyes narrowing as he talks about a younger version of himself. “And now here I am… with my super hot girlfriend and I just-. I don’t know. It sorta uh… reminded me of like… a different version of myself.” 
“Yeah, no, I-, I get that. It’s… it’s such a weird feeling,” you empathize, exchanging a look with your boyfriend this time. 
You nod in understanding, only to be met with a laugh and another shake of his head as Carmy lets out a sigh of relief. “You’re being like… waaaaay too cool about this,” he points out, his voice lighter this time. 
“Oh yeah?” you ask with a quirk of an eyebrow. “Uh. Fuck yeah,” Carmy confirms, as you exchange a laugh. He shrugs once again, only a little embarrassed as he adds, “You know… I just… I kinda lost my fuckin’ mind. You know. About Nate.” You shrug, “That’s different. I-.” A beat. “Do you want me to be jealous?” “No,” Carmy answers. A beat. “Maybe?” And another. “I-, I don’t know. This is all so new to me!” 
“Carm,” you sigh, as you lean over, placing your wine glass down on the coffee table before scooting closer to your boyfriend as you continue. “You and I have been through so much together and there were days that I thought we’d never speak again… but somehow we still ended up here.” 
He grabs your hands, pulling you in closer towards him as you meet him pound for pound–all heart on both sides. 
“I trust you,” you reassure him, your fingers sliding perfectly between his. “And I know I have your heart… ‘cos I know you got mine.” 
“Ffffffuck,” Carmy exhales, in complete disbelief that you really are being too cool about this. “Seriously?!” 
You laugh, incredulously this time, as you decide to give your boyfriend just a little of what he may be looking for. “No, but. It did-, it was weird for me… today. With Claire. And then later at the restaurant when Fak brought her up. I mean… you weren’t lying. News traveled fast,” you admit, much to Carmy’s relief. 
“Neighborhood’s small. That’s for sure,” he agrees, equally uncomfortable with how quickly that got around. 
“And… She is like… really pretty. And… what? About to be a doctor so I guess that means she’s really fuckin’ smart. I mean-,” you continue. 
It doesn’t take Carmy long to realize that you’re trying too, deciding it’s best to put you out of your misery sooner rather than later as he cuts you off with a playful, “Oh shut the fuck up.” 
It’s your turn to laugh this time as you lean in, pressing your lips to his. 
Carmy inhales, breathing you in as he tries to memorize the way you smell, the way you taste, the way your lips feel nestled so perfectly against his. He pulls away just for a moment, intent on telling you something. 
“You do, by the way,” Carmy says, his declaration soft but sure. “Have my heart, I mean.”
“I know, babe,” you reply, with a smile. “I know.”
—-------------------------------------
a/n: if you've been wondering where i've been, i've been here! just living a whole lot of life offline these days. would anyone be interested in reading my thoughts on life? anyways, i feel like a hiatus was good for me, and now i have all this life i've lived that's inspired me to write again. i've been channeling a lot of my creative energy into other projects which has felt great and it also feels really good to be back.
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bootleg-nessie · 4 months
Text
Things that will happen in the future (based on my own experiences with time travel):
***FAQs at the end***
*All of these observations are copied directly from my notes in roughly the order I took them in
*Don’t ask about the interchanging use of past/present/future tense, you know how that stuff is with time travel
Women just started all growing three boobs instead of two. Scientists baffled
Genetically engineered catboys (no literally)
The great pyramid of Giza has been converted into a Bass Pro Shop
The entire state of Rhode Island was bought by some rich tech CEO who promptly dug a 500 foot wide trench around the entire state so that it could in fact be an island. It was soon converted into the world’s largest parking lot
Pollution has gotten so bad that fresh oxygen is now delivered straight to most homes via a subscription service
Basic necessities such as food, water, and housing are now provided for free by the government, but only for the top 1% of wealth holders
Insulin now costs twice as much as rent. “Get fucked,” say pharma companies
92.6% of new electronic appliances now have smartphone integration and require a monthly subscription to use
Most billionaires have real estate on earth’s moon
As an ongoing film experiment, Taika Waititi successfully convinced a Nebraska man that he’s been raptured and is now in heaven. He actually got Truman Show’d and now millions of viewers tune in every week to watch God (played by John DiMaggio) manipulate Robert into confronting his own views, battle cognitive dissonance, and face the realization that he might not have been as good of a person on Earth as he thought he was
Carrots have gone extinct, as have highland cows
Species of extinct animals and plants now are being posthumously renamed after the billionaires and elites most directly responsible for killing then off
Researchers discovered a sentient colony of fungus off the coast of Chile, it prefers to go by Fleebo and appears to have a incredibly complex intelligence far greater than any other observed organic being
Nobody knows where Ireland went. It literally just disappeared off the face of the earth one day and nobody bothered to question it. The story couldn’t compete in the news cycle with the recent news about a company in China that made the first real life pokemon. An entire civilization of people gone and I’m the only one who seems to remember it or even care
Fleebo and its offspring have annexed Madagascar and are threatening any retaliation with nuclear warfare and “making The Last of Us a reality.” Nobody knows if Fleebo actually has the capabilities to do this, but after the Lovecraft incident we’re all TOO goddam scared to fuck around and find out
Large snails have replaced cats and dogs as the most common household pet. Snail culture has largely taken over the world, especially Japan
The president of the United States is now decided with an oiled up twerking competition. Most people were hesitant at first but this has produced vastly more competent leaders so now everyone just kinda goes along with it
With the cost of living crisis only worsening with time, selling tattoo space on your body to advertisers has become common as people struggle to afford rent and pay their bills
North and South Korea have reunited into “Korea 2.0”
Germany has split up into East and West Germany again
Belgium and France have been annexed by West Germany and renamed “Wester Germany” and “Westest Germany” respectively
The entirety of Florida is now underwater. Most of Kansas is too for some reason that scientists refuse to explain because they’ve “sworn an oath to the eldritch gods” and that “much worse things would happen” if they did
The melting ice caps in Antarctica unveiled a lost civilization of intelligent creatures descended from a species of lungfish, predating human civilization by millions of years. They planned on hibernating for another 10-15 million years to observe the course of evolution on Earth and are very very angry at humans for waking them up prematurely and ruining all of that with global warming
The politically correct term for lungfish people is “Dipnoid” but most people refer to them by a variety of slurs, such as “finwalker” and “kelp muncher” (not that they even eat kelp)
The Great Pacific Garbage Patch has now increased to nearly half the size of what was formerly known as Canada and has been colonized entirely by pirates (the flag is actually pretty cool). The pirate nation has the 17th largest economy in the world and is projected to surpass the United States in GDP
Africa is about 2% smaller. Nobody knows why. Most people point to Fleebo, who denies having any involvement
All human-Dipnoid interaction was promptly banned by most world governments, except for the GPGPRP (Great Pacific Garbage Patch Republic of Pirates), whom the Dipnoids rely upon extensively for trade
Scientists have used DNA from fossils to recreate other species of humans. We now live alongside them like we did for thousands of years before everyone besides Homo sapiens went extinct. Racism is at an all time high
Class C and above robots are now legally recognized by most progressive countries as people
The United States government has been exposed for secretly funneling billions of dollars into the GPGPRP and using it to fund terrorist operations all over the world.
A new major religion revolving around Dave Grohl has skyrocketed in popularity. Grohilsm is now the world’s largest religion, second only to Fleeboism
Scientists discovered a new continent in the Pacific Ocean, and then promptly lost it again. Most people are convinced this was just an elaborate practical joke, but scientists “swear it definitely happened”
For a brief period of about 30 years, everything in George Orwell’s 1984 happened almost exactly as written in the book. Literally 1984
It was revealed that Jeff Epstein didn’t kill himself. He actually faked his death and spent the next few years in a drug-fueled episode of psychosis making sock puppets in a cave in Italy and then molesting said sock puppets until he died from a sock puppet related illness
Bigfoot was discovered off the coast of Georgia doing cocaine with a congregation of alligators. When questioned, he said he normally lives in Montana and was only there on vacation. He is now a celebrity, and has been featured in a number of tv shows and films, two of which he won an Oscar for. Last I checked, he was a washed up actor living in Hollywood with a reanimated Neanderthal woman
The GPGPRP raided most of England’s museums with the object of “doing exactly what they did for the last few centuries” England was understandably furious, but the rest of the world found it rather amusing
England declared war on the GPGPRP, which it promptly lost after hackers brought down the entire country’s military overnight. Much like in the 21st century, England is the world’s laughing stock
The entirety of Luxembourg relocated itself to the moon
Russia attempted to take over most of Eurasia. In retaliation to the full global effort to stop them, they launched nukes at the world’s 600 most populous cities outside of its current territory. Most of the warheads were stopped in time, but a few major metropolitan areas got hit pretty badly, including Los Angeles, Hong Kong, Chengdu, Mexico City, and Istanbul. Japan was understandably super pissed that Hiroshima and Nagasaki got nuked for a second time
In the wake of the nuclear holocaust, Canada assumed control over what was formerly Russia and assimilated many of its citizens and leaders into its own society and government. Under the new rule of formerly Russian leaders, Canada became a puppet state for the second coming of Russia. It annexed much of the United States, Mongolia, China, and a handful of other countries, becoming “the world’s first megacountry.” Crungolaska now controls a majority of the northern hemisphere
As part of a practical joke by Adam Sandler, Tom Hanks was actually marooned on a desert island like in Castaway. He lasted less than a week before he died. When I left this era of the future, Adam Sandler was serving a lifetime sentence in prison for murder
Fringe groups of crows with above-average intelligence have started popping up around the world. So far they have been observed forming small communities, crafting relatively complex tools, using rudimentary speech, performing rituals, and creating music
Aliens visited earth and had a formal meeting with many of our world leaders, but decided to leave us alone for a few thousand more years because humanity is “not yet mature enough to handle the responsibilities of interstellar travel.” They have incentivized us with a the blueprints for an Alcubierre Drive and a means to produce the exotic matter to fuel it once they deem us as being ready
The original colony of settlers on Mars has declared independence, officially becoming the first country not on Earth
We sent Tom Cruise back to space but this time we just left him there
The tether for the space elevator broke. The town known as Vatorville, famous for being the location of the takeoff point of the elevator shuttle on Earth, was completely decimated as tens of thousands of miles of steel cable came crashing back down. There were no survivors
Most people in first and second world countries have mandatory microchip implants that serve as a personal ID
Last Thursdayism has been largely denounced by quantum physicists. Current theories now revolve around “Next Thursdayism,” the belief that the entire universe was created in the future and that we all exist as a memory in the past
Synthetic organ farms for transplants and research have become a massive industry worth billions of dollars. However, there is still a huge black market for organically grown human organs, as they’re much cheaper to acquire and aren’t taxed at the exorbitant rates that lab-grown organs are
China dug a hole all the way to the center of the Earth. Turns out it’s hollow and there are people living inside. Who knew?
A university reconstructed the entire city of Rome as it was in its early days during the Roman Empire. It’s actually pretty historically accurate, except for the fact that there’s a lot less sex because it’s run by a bunch of sweaty history nerds
After Rome 2 resulted in the creation of a cult revolving around the Roman god of the dead that gained traction as a minor religion, Pluto was officially reinstated as a planet by NASA when cultists picketed their headquarters every day for nearly 3 years straight. “Fine, we’ll give these fucking virgins what they want so they’ll finally shut the hell up,” said NASA’s administrator in chief
In a display of the biotechnical prowess of Disney’s Imagineers, all the animatronics in Disney’s Hall of Presidents were replaced with clones of the originals, which went about exactly as well as you’d expect. After reports of the presidents hurling a series of racial slurs and other obscenities at the first black family to enter surfaced, the project was shut down almost immediately after it had opened. Minority admission to Magic Kingdom plummeted to 2.3% of its numbers from the previous year, making it the second whitest place on earth after a taylor swift concert
Plastic now makes up about 3% of every organism on earth by weight
Public officials are now required by law to take shrooms before running for office
Trees are considered a rare and highly sought after commodity, and are usually only owned by public institutions and the rich (the vast majority of oxygen farms use algae to produce oxygen)
FAQs:
FAQ: What time period(s) did you go to?
A: I have no fucking clue. The world stopped using the Gregorian calendar in 2063 after a gamma ray burst hit the sun. The GRB led to stellar ablation, which changed the length of a year on Earth. The sun would continue to lose mass at an accelerated rate for several more years, with the length of the year changing slightly from year to year. The world adopted a variety of different calendars which kept being updated frequently and were often super confusing and contradictory. I traveled to about a dozen different points in time, which based on my best estimates spanned within a few millennia of the current date.
FAQ: How did you obtain a time machine?
A: I think it was the 17th or 18th of June, 2055? That night, a large sci-fi looking box thingy roughly the size of a VW Bus appeared a few hundred yards away in the open field in front of my house. I tried to take a picture of the box, but for some reason the closer I got, the more the image on my camera started to become fuzzy, and by the time I got close enough to take a decent picture, the camera had stopped working altogether. I pulled open a door to reveal a corpse inside that was charred beyond recognition, who appeared to have suffocated and/or burned to death during a fire that damaged most of the interior. I also noticed a number of strange tumors and growths on the body. I pressed a random button on the remains of what I believed to be a control panel, expecting nothing to happen, but the door closed automatically and I suddenly lost consciousness. When I came to, I exited the box, expecting to still be in the field in front of my house, but instead found myself a ways outside of a small snowy village that based on my best estimates, was somewhere in northern Asia around 2-3 thousand years ago. The villagers started coming after me with spears, so I quickly ran back to the box and pressed another button, hoping it would return me to from whence I came. This time, the people I found (who were thankfully much nicer and spoke a dialect of English that I could mostly understand) told me that it was the year 506 of the PGRB-Δ4 calendar (the calendar that the United Territories was using at the time). I repeated this maybe a dozen more times trying to get home until I landed in 2023, which as far as I could tell, was the closest I had gotten back to my original time so far. It was at this point that I decided to stay and seek medical attention, as I was rather concerned about some nasty new growths on my arms and legs similar to that which I had seen on the corpse.
FAQ: Where is the time machine now?
A: No idea. It disappeared a few days after I landed in 2023. My best guess is that some poor sap found it and ended up sometime else.
(I never ask for likes/reblogs but I literally spent fucking WEEKS on this one so if you liked it pls show me some love <3)
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fireflysummers · 9 months
Text
Good Omens S2
Okay so.
Excellent Job, Gaiman
Ouch???
I don't like to publicly talk about my personal life. My academic life is my professional life is my artist life. But my personal life? Not so much, outside of vignettes.
But for the past several months, I've been deconstructing a lot of personal baggage and trauma surrounding both family and religion, after leaving the cult I was raised in (mormonism).
It's terrifying to realize that the framework you built your entire self on is false. It's exhausting and painful to deconstruct that framework, to disentangle your identity in the way that won't destroy you.
And it's slow.
Nobody ever tells you how slow it is to heal. You can't control the rate you heal either. You just have to be patient with yourself, and give yourself an environment where that healing can occur safely and naturally.
Anyways.
Good Omens, and its weird tendency to be exactly what I need when I need it.
I first read Good Omens in high school. And honestly, I didn't quite get it, at the time. I only knew it was different from every other book I've ever read, one that didn't treat religion as stupid or trivial, but also one that called out the blatant hypocrisy and control tactics involved. It helped me safely challenge a status quo I hadn't even realized existed.
I first watched Good Omens partway into my Master's Degree. It was everything that I could've hoped for. I understood the book a lot better, but the TV adaptation captured my struggles with mental dissonance, trying to understand and accept the parts of my identity that I was taught God didn't want.
I watch S2 a year into my doctoral program. I'm out of the cult, and it's exhilarating and painful and scary and fun, but I can still feel the scars its hooks left when they were torn out.
I feel like S2 Aziraphale is in about the same place. He's exploring his freedom, but also trying to reorient himself. He's trying to let himself be. He's healing, but his boundaries got overridden due to circumstances out of his control (naked Gabriel). He's been pulled back into the gravity of the abusive system he tried to escape, given a carrot on a stick, and isn't yet healed or strong enough to resist.
On top of that, Aziraphale is still holding onto the hope that the problem was bad individuals, not a corrupted system. He thinks if the leadership is different, things can change. He thinks if he had more authority in the system, he could make things change. And... that's not how it works.
And Crowley. Dear Crowley.
He wants Aziraphale to be farther along in his healing than he is. Honestly, Aziraphale wants it too. But again, you cannot force this kind of healing, even when it results in a loved one making some truly stupid decisions.
Crowley sees the system for what it is. He's already deconstructed that part. But he hasn't really started addressing his own trauma. He's hinged his entire existence on Aziraphale, on being what Aziraphale needs, that he hasn't allowed himself to heal either. And Aziraphale, who is vulnerable and healing, is not able to provide the support that Crowley would need to recover safely.
Which is why them separating is probably the best thing for both of them.
It won't be permanent.
But they don't communicate, and their relationship while delightful and beautiful risks unhealthy codependency that prevents either from really growing or healing.
Anyways, what I really hope to see next season is Aziraphale's realization that the system never had his back. That the system is what's wrong, and that he can't win by playing at respectability politics or gaining a higher status within it.
I want Aziraphale to get angry.
He deserves it. He's tried so hard. He thinks he's lost Crowley over it.
I want him to feel the gut-wrenching despair of realizing how conditional and fleeting the system's version of love is, and I want it to turn into a rage.
But not a destructive rage--the sort of anger that Pratchett ascribes to himself and many of his works. The sort of anger that fueled Discworld and Good Omens. The sort that can be finessed into a weapon and a shield, that can be used to protect the people who truly love you.
For millennia we see Crowley fighting for Aziraphale.
For Season 3, I want to see Aziraphale fighting for his demon.
For him to apologize, without the expectation that Crowley will come back, but because he was wrong and Crowley needs to know it. To not expect forgiveness, not even think he deserves it.
And then for Crowley--who is trying to hide his heart eyes at seeing his avenging angel coming to save him for once, who he can tell immediately has changed, and is finally going Crowley's speed)--for Crowley to give that forgiveness, without strings attached.
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wileys-russo · 6 months
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i thought of a PERFECT lessi fic. so r is a teacher and one of her students have a cute crush on her. lessi notices the little gifts she’s getting and gets jealous
school yard crush II a.russo
"-alright that's the bell and i will see you all tomorrow. make sure to be sensible and smart when walking home or by the road please year three!" you called out after your students as they filed out one by one, chattering happily that the day was finally over.
"miss?" you looked down to see one of your boys was requesting your attention, hiding something behind his back. "yes ben?" you gave it to him as he shuffled from foot to foot. "this is for you bye!" he handed you a folded piece of paper and raced off out of the room causing you to laugh.
watching to make sure all of them made it out safely you returned to your desk, having some homework to mark before you could head home hopefully before five.
taking a seat you opened the letter, a smile growing on your face as the boy had scrawled a poem using the letters of your name to compliment you. "so cute." you chuckled, taking a photo of it and tucking it away in your desk.
"lessi? you home?" you called out a few hours later as you let yourself in, not having seen her car in the driveway. dumping your bag on the counter you noticed a heart shaped note stuck to the fridge indicating your fiancé had headed to the market to grab a few things.
unsure when she'd left or when she'd return you headed off to shower, ready to wash off the day and get comfortable to continue the marking you'd not yet finished.
stepping out of the bathroom and into your bedroom you could hear music and smell the inevitable scent of the blondes cooking signaling she was home. changing into her arsenal travel top and a pair of shorts you made your way toward the source of the alluring scent.
"hello you." she saw you before you reached her, stirring something in a pan as she sent you a beaming smile. "hi baby." you kissed her gently in greeting before clinging to her tightly, feeling an immediate sense of calm settle over you as the two of you shared an embrace.
"you smell lovely." the striker mumbled as she rubbed your back and kissed your cheek, the two of you stepping away from one another. "it's this new body wash, it's caramel scented." you yawned, rounding the bench and settling yourself on a stool.
"when did you get that?" alessia asked curiously, moving to chop some carrots as she kept a watchful eye over what was already on the stove. "one of the kids at school gave it to me, i tried to give it back but he started to cry and i felt too guilty." you admitted with a sheepish smile.
"mm teachers pet? every class needs one." alessia laughed, sweeping the carrot off the board and into the pan. "no i think he has a crush, it's quite sweet really." you chuckled, alessia's smile disappearing at that. "should you be encouraging that?" she questioned with a small frown.
"i'm not encouraging it!" you chuckled as your fiancé simply hummed. "alessia russo are you jealous of an eight year old?" you teased with a grin, the blonde sending you a glare over her shoulder. "no." she grumbled with a frown.
"my love i mention that my name's gonna change once i get married like every five minutes. i'm not leaving you for him less." you laughed at the question.
"i'd also be marrying you in prison if you did." alessia retorted as you clicked your tongue in agreement. "look its harmless babe. i'm sure his parents got the body wash anyway, you know very well they have no issues trying to bribe me to pay their kids a little extra attention. and you have no issues eating the chocolates that follow!" you smiled standing up and moving to hug her from behind, poking her very ticklish sides as she squealed and grabbed your hands in hers.
"he did write me a little poem today though. you know you could take some tips from this kid i don't see any love letters from you!" you teased, placing a few gentle kisses to her neck. "i leave you notes in your lunch all the time!" alessia protested with a huff.
"yeah that say things like 'property of future mrs russo' or 'reminder that you have the best fiance in the world'." you laughed with a roll of your eyes. "they make you smile do they not?" alessia raised an eyebrow as you had to agree.
"then you're welcome."
"mm so romantic." you smiled, the blonde pecking your lips before you removed yourself, grabbing your phone and waving her over to read the poem from today.
"i guess that's a little bit sweet." alessia admitted with a sigh, stealing another kiss and returning back to the stove.
"what's cookin good lookin?" you questioned as you slid your laptop out of your bag, placing it down in front of you and moving your bag to the floor.
"beef ragu." you could have moaned at the answer, instead sighing happily as alessia chuckled at your obvious excitement.
"if food is the way to the heart you could have asked me to marry you the first night you cooked for me and i'd have said yes." you grinned, flashing your wedding ring at her as she sent you a wink.
~
"come on come on come on, i want butts in chairs within thirty seconds or we'll do extra math all afternoon instead!" you warned playfully as your class took their time dawdling in from their morning break. though at that threat they sprinted in and hurried to sit down making you laugh.
"it's quiet reading time to calm down a bit, everyone go and grab a book please!" you encouraged, gesturing toward the bookshelf on the back wall.
"why did you get us to sit down if we had to get up again to get a book miss?" one of the girls called out with a groan. "because i can! now off you go." you waved, taking a seat at your desk. focused on the paper in front of you you jumped slightly as you glanced up and found a pair of eyes much closer than you thought.
"these are for you miss." ben thrust out a handful of flowers and weeds, messily tied together with a hair tie as dirt showered down on your desk making you wince. "did you pick these out of the garden buddy?" you asked to which he nodded with an eager grin.
"okay. i think we need to have a little chat." you smiled, standing to your feet and gesturing for him to follow you outside. "3C my listening ears are on, so keep reading and no silly business or its times tables for all!" you warned seriously before stepping out of the classroom and partially closing the door.
"how come you brought me those flowers ben?" you started gently as the two of you sat down on the bench outside your classroom. "because my dad gets my mum flowers." he answered matter of factly as you bit back a smile.
"okay. so you got them for me because..." you encouraged for him to finish your sentence. "you're really pretty, like my mum." he again answered confidently. "now ben that is very sweet, but you know you and me aren't like your mum and dad." you started softly.
"i'm your teacher, so we have a special relationship but not like the one your mum and dad have. i am always here if you're feeling sad or upset or confused or angry or if you just need to chat, and i'll always do my best to help you. but i already have a fiancé, and i love her like your dad loves your mum." you continued, the boys face falling slightly but nodding along.
"and she gave me this ring which means that we promise to only love each other like your dad loves your mum. one day when you're ready and a lot older, you'll find someone like that too! but you have to stop getting me things okay? its very thoughtful but i want you to only think of me like a teacher or a friend, okay?" you finished as ben nodded.
"now you and olivia are pretty good friends right?" you diverted as he confirmed. "so why don't you go and give her the flowers? because you can give best friends things like that too to make them smile! just not teachers." you clarified as the boy let out a small oh and nodded quickly.
"alright. thank you for listening! back inside you go." the smile returning to his face as he raced inside you let out a sigh, taking a moment to collect yourself and return, clapping a pattern and grinning as all your students clapped back.
~
"only me!" you perked up as your fiancés voice rang through your shared home, a thump as she tripped over on the way in making you grin as she hurried to the kitchen.
"welcome home clumsy." you greeted her as the blonde returned and wasted no time flopping her taller form down on top of you. "how was dinner?" you asked, running your hands through her hair, alessia having gone out with a few of her team mates after training.
"it was lovely. missed you though!" she pouted as you kissed it away, having declined her invitation in favor of lesson planning. "brought you some leftovers. have you eaten?" she pushed herself up to hover over you as you shook your head with a guilty smile.
"baby it's nearly nine thirty! no more work, i'm banning it." your fiancé scowled, closing your laptop expertly with her foot and hauling you up to your feet. "those are for you too." she kissed your cheek and nodded to a bunch of flowers on the counter as she moved to heat you up some food.
"oh lessi, they're gorgeous. thank you!" you smiled softly in appreciation as she placed a bowl into the microwave. "are these just because i told you about ben today?" you teased, having called the striker during your lunch break to fill her in on your conversation.
"no! they're just because i love you." alessia defended, moving to press her body into yours and bury her face in your neck as you hummed with a chuckle, the taller girls lips beginning to mark a trail down the column of your throat as she pushed you a little harder into the counter.
"maybe it had a tiny bit to do with it...but just a tiny bit!"
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forthelostones · 7 months
Text
helpless ─── ⋆
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°:. *₊ ° . masc*!reader x farmhand!ellie °:. *₊ ° .
warnings. 18+ (mdni); sub!ellie, fingering (e receiving), finger sucking, mentions of female genitalia (referring 2 reader)
*more masc or 'stem', just not femme! hopefully, that's clear.
synopsis: you and ellie are working tirelessly to restore your house near the farm. the pressure builds up and she needs a stress reliever amid the chaos.
an: hi everyone! thanks for all your likes and follows i really appreciate the support. idk i had a hard time figuring out how i wanted to write this. i feel like maybe it's not as long as i hoped but I've been holding on to it. anyways, enjoy x.
wc: 1.2k
Night fell quickly without you even noticing it and Ellie was nowhere to be found. You looked up in the kitchen, where you were retiling the floor, covered in dust, you wiped your hands on your utility pants. You let out a sigh as you toss your head back, your muscles burned from the amount of energy that you had to exert to rip up the old tiles. The wind blew through the windows cooly, sending a chill down your back. You lean over the windowsill and peek out to see the lights in the barn. 
“Ellie!” You holler. 
You look at your progress and smile sweetly, even though it wasn’t even 40% of the flooring, you still admire your persistence. You walk over to the leaking fridge, remembering that you should fix that, and open it to pull a pitcher of lemonade El made you earlier. It was tart, very little sugar, and heavily refreshing. You rubbed your hands over your stomach realizing how sore you become from bending over all day. You hear the front door close as Ellie's boots clobber on the hard, old wood, and you glance to see her covered in dirt and sweat. Her muscles spilled out of her once-white tank top, glistening with sweat, mixed with sprinkles of hay. She smiles weakly at you.
“Look at you,” She mutters. 
You sip your lemonade and tilt your head as she strides towards you hands on her hips, observing your work like she was your boss. 
“Okay, okay…” 
You took her hips in your hands and planted a smooth kiss on her mouth. “You smell like the barn.” You laugh while your lips still pressed on hers. She shrugs her shoulders and rolls her neck you can’t help but stare at her.
After making it into your shower, and washing your handwork away, you wrapped a towel around your body and made it into your shared messy bedroom. You sighed as you thought about all the work left to do, but then you saw Ellie lying in bed, her glasses on, reading a comic you bought for her last Christmas. You rummaged through your boxes to find a pair of boxers and your hoodie. After you got dressed you laid your head in Ellie’s lap, she stole your night shirt from last evening and your sleeping shorts. Her hands cupped around your cheek, her touch was warm, and soothing. 
“Our carrots are growing nicely,” she smiled. 
“Are they, that’s good, we can have … stew?” You roll up on your elbow looking up at her. 
She looked so sweet in her oversized glasses, perched on her nose, eyes rolling with interest in a plot she knew so well. You scooted up to the headboard and peeked over her shoulder at the storyboard pages. Sleepily you lay your head on her shoulder, surprised that she even has the energy to read. Your eyes fall lazily on her warm neck, that’s beckoning you to touch it. You toss your head back, fighting away your urges, oh but what will one kiss hurt? You wet your lips and press them against her neck but she doesn’t flinch. Ellie felt how close you had come to her and your lips were like a hot breeze on a cool day. She didn’t lean into you anymore, focusing on her comic, flicking the page. 
Your hand travels over her belly, placing your index finger in her shorts, and running it softly along the hem. She loved the feeling of your fingers rubbing against her sensitive waist, tracing her hipbones as she unconsciously shifted at your touch. You lay another kiss but this time closer to her ear, and she twitches at. “Any more crops worth sharing?” You ask.
“Yes, I actually planted herbal seeds.” 
You kiss her again but this time your tongue and she melted. She began to feel her lust bud in her short.
“Basil? Oregano? What, use your words Els.” You sputter low into her crease. 
Ellie’s eyes closed at the vibrations of your voice echo inside her. When you told her to use her words, she slipped deeper. 
“Oh—right, right,” she stumbled as she adjusted her glasses. “Yes to Basil for soup and Sage too.” 
“Ahh. Good job, I’m sure I’ll use a lot of this for our dinners.” 
Another kiss, but this time you didn’t stop, one after another, the next one harder than the next. Her legs spread wider than before, imagining your lips meeting hers. Her hand reaches for your chest, pushing you away gently, fighting your touch. 
“Sorry love, go ‘head and read.” You say not slowing down. 
Her finger toils the page, never turning it, eyes focused on the same word as your tongue swirls around her earlobe. She huffs and presses downwards into the mattress. She pulls away again only to remove her glasses and lean in for a kiss. As her lips almost reach yours, you lean your head away from her, her eyebrows raise at your boldness. She thought she was mistaken and approached you again and you rejected her. 
She closes her comic and wastes no time to draw her leg over your lap to sit on top of you. She pulls off her shirt to expose her puffy nipples, begging you to kiss them. “Now you don’t wanna touch me?” She spat. 
You just remain silent, watching clusters of goosebumps travel across her body as her cheeks turn rosy. You put your hands behind your head as you feel her ass press into your lap, slowly working up into a grind. 
“Please?” She whines. 
You don’t even react to her advances other than the warmth budding inside your boxers. Ellie’s hands run over your t-shirt, pressing against your nipples as she leans in to pull the tip of her tongue from your collarbones all the way to your neck. 
“I need you.” She whispers. 
You exhale at hearing her pleads as her hips buck harder against you. But you don’t give in even though her lips feel so warm against your throat. She grabs your hands and runs your index and middle fingers against her bottom lip. She slips the tip of your fingers in her mouth, wrapping her desperate tongue around the length of them. Her lips pucker with saliva as she removes them. She takes your hand and slides it in her shorts and you finally feel how much she wants you. 
She lifts up your shirt exposing your freshly washed skin and presses her cold palms against your breasts. A gasp catches in your throat at how good it finally felt to have her skin against yours. She presses her sensitive clit against your calloused fingertips, riding them slow, making sure you felt her. 
“Are you really going to do this?” She groans. 
“Do what?” You ask, slowly entering your fingers inside her.
She throws her head back, forcing your name out, resting on her hands, twisting her hips upwards, to give you a show. She clinches around your fingers grinding, and you almost droll at her pink hole gripping them so beautifully. Her eyes melt into yours with desire. 
“Fuck.” She groans. 
You curl your fingers, gently massaging her sweet spot, and she presses down even more, sitting upright and massaging her nipples. But you take her her wrist and use your freehand and clench them in front of her chest. 
“Can I cum for you?”
You stare at her, mouth open and eyes wet. 
“L-Let me cum for you p-pl-lease.” She stutters as you apply more pressure.  
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turtlesandfrogs · 1 year
Text
I made this Pre-pandemic for a "Starting plants from the grocery store" class I was teaching, here it is edited down for anyone interested.
For saving seeds, the fruit should be fully mature for the seeds to be fully mature. Therefore, you can use seeds from a winter squash but not a baby zucchini, and the likelihood that the seeds of a tomato (or red bell pepper) will grow are much higher than for a green bell pepper. Unfortunately, many are either going to be poorly suited for your conditions, or hybrid, which we'll touch on later.
Stem cuttings are a great way to start many common culinary herbs! Especially basil!
Some tubers to consider starting from are sweet potatoes and actual potatoes.
And then of course, the bulbs! Green onions and garlic are your best bets!
These are outdoor plants and thus are Somewhat Fussy if you're going to grow indoors. Do not overwater them (eg, letting them sit in a tray of water for days) nor let them dry out completely. Try to keep them evenly moist, with thorough waterings that then pour out the bottom of the pot unimpeded. 
Given that they are outdoor plants, a south-facing window (assuming you’re in the northern hemisphere) or grow lights are your best bet. If they don’t get enough light, they will turn pale and stretch towards their light source. They won’t grow as quickly or as healthfully as they would with sufficient light.  
Examples:
Tomatoes & peppers! Tomatoes are the one that actually inspired me to make this because I saw this clip on starting plants from kitchen scraps, and they buried the whole dang half of a tomato! Don’t do that! What a waste of a tomato half! EAT your tomato! Take the seeds out! 
If you’re intending to grow these outdoors, start them about 6 weeks before your last frost. If you have not grown plants from seed before, here’s some information from another class I taught: https://tinyurl.com/seedstarting2020
If you’re intending to grow them indoors the whole time, you will likely need grow lights for both tomatoes and peppers, and they like it if you keep your house on the warm side. I would suggest growing them outdoors and buying seeds for a dwarf tomato if you really want to grow indoors.
The down side is that most are hybrid, so when you grow out the seed, it's not necessarily going to grow well, be productive, or taste good. Even if it is open pollinated, it's probably been bred to thrive in conditions unlike those you can provide. If you need a successful crop, I highly suggest buying seed, or swapping with a reputable source. Although if you like and can find yellow pear tomatoes, those are an exception to this entire paragraph.
Basil! Basil is a great one to do stem cuttings of, get it started indoors, and then plant out once night time temperatures stay above 50f (10c). I prefer to start them straight into soil, and seem to have a higher success rate this way. To do this, remove all leaves except the top bud, and bury the stem in soil up to just beneath that bud and firm gently. Keep the soil moist and the pot above 60f, and you should have a good success rate. This method works for mint, lemon balm, rosemary, sage, etc, as well.
Green onions- really easy, put the bottom inch or so in soil and they’ll grow very well for you. I prefer soil over water because a) the water gets stinky, and b) they grow better and stronger in soil.
AND MORE:
Sage, rosemary, and thyme (also any stemmed herb): just like basil
Lettuce, carrots, beets: you get the tops, but usually they’ll try to bolt. Easier just to buy seeds. If you want, I usually start in shallow water and then plant as soon as I see roots growing. Again, keep the soil moist, and for these ones, keep them in a cooler part of your house. But really, they almost always bolt in my experience.
Sweet potatoes: Get them in the fall, it takes months for them to start growing (unless you're somewhere warm apparently? ). They will sprout, grow roots, take slips to plant outdoors once night time temperatures study above 50f (10c)
Garlic, just grab a clove and plant in the fall. Boom. GARLIC.
Squash- you don’t know what you’ll get, because they might be cross pollinated with another variety or hybrids. If you do grow it out and it’s bitter, don’t eat it, it’s poisonous. If you want to know more, search “toxic squash syndrome”
Ginger: Plant the rhizome in summer, harvest before frost, or overwinter indoors with a lot of light.
Pineapple: Doable, but it takes three years to get a harvest. Plant in well draining soil, and give it as much heat and light as you can.
Just for fun: (Unless you’re in the tropics or have a lot of patience.)
Mango, avocado, citrus. Take years, and a different climate than I have to fruit. If you’re in the tropics, go for it, but know that avocado pollination can apparently be tricky. I am not in the tropics, so I do not have direct experience with this. Citrus I think I've read also don't come true from seed.
Apples, pears: take years, and don’t come true to type. You do not know what you’ll get, and you’ll probably get something that is not worth eating (but would work for cider). These do need a cold dormancy period in the winter to do well. Of course, you could plant them and then top graft if it does turn out they don’t taste good.
Plums, peaches, apricots: take years, often do come true from seed, but peaches and nectarines are very susceptible to peach leaf curl, so may just die depending on where you are.
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partycatty · 2 months
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Right hear me out on the new johnny skin
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Please can you write something for this ugly bitch the shock worn off and now im delusional
(Im sorry for asking for this he just looks so stupid i couldnt not)
I HATE YOU FOR REMINDING ME OF THIS ALLGAHJGIAKG
johnny cage > carrot
oh my god he looks like a carrot
warnings: look at him.
[ masterlist ]
you're sitting on johnny's couch, as it's become a regular occurrence for you to waste your time in his home. your phone becomes your best friend nearly every time, as his career of being a celebrity commonly rips his attention from you more than you're happy with. your bubbling frustration with the situation dies down when you hear his front door unlock.
"babe," he calls through the cracked door. his voice is high pitched, like he's hiding something and ashamed about it. "i-i need you to do me a favor."
"yeah?" you reply, eyes still transfixed on your phone for the moment.
"i lost a bet," he shamefully admits. "and i need you to not laugh. if you laugh, i will die."
"you'll die?" you repeat, now intrigued by whatever he's on about. he falls silent, the door barely opening more.
"baby," he tries to sound sweet but it sounds closer to him being on the verge of tears. "is it true... that thing... where like, you lose feelings if your man gets one bad haircut?"
oh, no.
"depends," you shrug, making your way to the door. "if you buzzed it, i won't be able to look at you until it grows back."
"i didn't... buzz it," he mutters. "it's... please don't laugh."
his dodging is starting to confuse and annoy you, so you walk over and pull the door completely open. the sight in front of you pulls a horrified gasp, which then turns into amusement like you've never seen. johnny's hair was gone on the sides, and a vomit-green wisp sat on top. johnny frowns with large eyes. it kind of reminds you of that really sad hamster meme. maybe if you focused enough you could imagine sad violin music at the scene.
"jo—" your attempt at saying his name comfortingly is ripped apart when a snort creeps up on you, and you slap a hand over your mouth. tears well up in your eyes as you fight for your life to not laugh.
"don't," he pleads, arms flopping to his sides. "don't laugh."
you let out a cackle through your hand, slapping another hand over it in a stupid attempt to hold it in.
"it's not funny—" in a while, you think, it wouldn't be. sure, he has the haircut, but you're the one looking at it regularly. "it's not funny."
"you're laughing. i will die."
"how in the genuine fuck did this come to be." your eyes feel like they're going to pop out of your skull from straining yourself so hard. johnny can't even look at you as he explains.
"kung lao and i made a bet that i could cut more fruit than him with his hat."
"you bet your appearance on a hat that's not yours."
"it didn't look that hard! it's a sharp hat!"
"okay, so how did the... haircut come to be??"
"he..." johnny rubs his face, groaning. "he had me walk into a barber and told the guy to fuck my shit up. he said that to the barber. oh my god i look like an idiot, don't i."
"you..." you search for something, anything to compliment him on. your eyes settle on his orange button-up and you stifle a snort. "you kind of look like a carrot."
johnny pulls his head up to meet your eyes. "what."
"it's... it's kinda cute," you murmur with the most strained grin of your life. you step forward and grab the entirety of the hair left on his head, tugging upward. "it's like... plucking you from the soil."
"ow. you're an asshole," he adds, not entirely serious. you try so hard to keep it together, so hard. but his furrowed brows, frown, and carrot-coordinated outfit finally make you snap. you double over in laughter, similar to a hyena. it is quite literally the funniest thing you'd ever seen in your entire life and you laugh so hard you lose your breath.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" johnny pouts, stomping his foot and crossing his arms while you howl and slap him around as you try to ground yourself. "I LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS."
"OH MY GOD I'M LOSING IT, I'M GONNA THROW UP— YOU LOOK LIKE A CARROT —"
"STOP SAYING THAT."
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limitedgigi · 9 months
Note
Yan! Bunny hybrid headcanons? Childhood friends to lovers? 👀
I LOVE BUNNY HYBRIDS
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yandere! bunny hybrid
yan! bunny hybrid who was your neighbor and your best friend since you were three.
yan! bunny hybrid who would always play tag with you in his mom's garden (obviously he'd win, he's insanely fast).
yan! bunny hybrid who had to move away after 8th grade since his parents divorced.
yan! bunny hybrid who is surprised to see you in his college courses!
yan! bunny hybrid who rents a small house off campus and begs you asks you to move in with him.
yan! bunny hybrid who grows veggies like carrots, cabbages, and radishes in his front yard.
yan! bunny hybrid who is no different from a lap dog; you wanna go to sleep? let him curl up beside you. you wanna watch a movie on the couch? not without him laying on top of you!
yan! bunny hybrid who hates when you have people over. he hates the way they're so touchy with you. don't even think about bringing a partner over.
yan! bunny hybrid who jumps on top of you to rub his scent on you and get rid of his competitors' stench.
"the hell do you mean 'what am i doing?', im just hugging you.", he says, as he literally jumps on you.
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vanwritesfan-fiction · 7 months
Text
Wide Open Spaces
Travis takes you on the annual Kelce family camping trip, your first opportunity to make a good impression with his family, or so you think
Dedicated to @princessmermaid1289 for their birthday!
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"I don't think you're putting it together right, Travis." You flipped the white instruction pamphlet around in your hands, squinting your eyes at the diagrams on the page.
"Let me see this." Travis stepped out of the nylon tent, dragging it along the ground with him as he stood up. You passed him the paper, giggling to yourself as you watched the gears turn in his head to no avail. He let out a frustrated huff, throwing the posts down on the ground.
"Travis was never good at the whole reading instructions thing." Jason walked into the campground, placing his and Kylie's bags with the rest of the provisions. "Come to think about it, he's never been good with reading either." Travis flipped Jason the middle finger, earning a hearty chuckle from his older brother. Kylie filed in behind her husband, struggling to hold the cooler in her arms.
"Here, let me help you, Kylie." You shuffled over to grab one end of the plastic container, helping her place it atop the picnic table.
"How is she holding up?" Jason asked Travis just above a whisper, once you were out of earshot. Travis removed his baseball cap, wiping the sweat from his brow. "So far so good."
It started a couple of years ago. Things were going really good for Travis in pretty much every area of his life except dating. He was at the top of his game in football, and his popularity garnered him many a endorsement and brand collaboration. It also meant that women flocked to him in a way they had never before, and he wasn't sure who he could trust, and who was in it for the potential money and fame that came with dating him.
Jason suggested a test, a way to see if the girl was really interested in Travis for who he was and not what he could provide for them. They each were invited on the camping trip for the weekend, and Travis and Jason would put up bets to see how long they could last.
At first it was just some silly competition between brothers, but they quickly realized that it was a solid way to see who was in it for the long haul.
Travis was really hoping you passed the test this weekend. He was head over heels in love with you, and he really saw a future together.
****
You finally got the tent up just as the sun started to set, a cool breeze moving through the campsite. You slipped on one of Travis' hoodies before heading over to the picnic table to help Kylie with dinner prep. Travis and Jason already had a couple of beers in them, the cans collecting by the fire pit as they traded some funny childhood stories.
"Y/N, did Travis ever tell you how he wet the bed until he was 12 years old?" Jason hiccuped as he downed the last sip of his IPA, crushing the can in his hand. You could make out Travis's blush of embarrassment through the haze of dusk. "Oh my god, I stopped when I was like nine!" You let out a belly laugh as you cut up a few carrots. "You say that like its so much better." Jason continued to joke at his brother's expense.
"Why don't the two of you go get us some more firewood?", Kylie suggested, earning a loud groan from the two men. "Let's go man. I gotta take a piss anyway." Travis walked into the woods, Jason stumbling behind him.
****
Kylie looked up at you from her spot, giving you a gentle smile. The two of you had gotten really close over the last couple of months, and you considered her a friend. "Are you having a good time?" You nodded as you rubbed your arms, trying to warm yourself. "I am. I used to go camping all the time with my dad growing up, it was our own little tradition like what Travis and Jason have."
"I'm sure they didn't account for that." Kylie scrunches her eyebrows, letting out a quiet chuckle.
"Didn't account for what?", you asked.
She sighed, wiping her hands on her pant legs. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I really like you, and I think that you and Travis have something. This weekend is a test."
You shook your head, not completely understanding. "A test? What kind of test?"
"A test of your relationship", she continued, "see if you could handle roughing it. I had no idea at the time, but Jason put me through the same thing when we were dating." You felt your stomach drop, your throat drying up. You really cared about Travis, but you didn't think he needed you to prove it. Was he unsure about your relationship?
Kylie placed a hand over yours, offering you comfort. She could see the worry flash over your face. "I know its not what you were expecting, but I get why they do it. All the money and the fame comes with a lot of fake people. They really are good guys. I hope this doesn't make you hate Travis."
"Hate, no. But I am a little pissed." You admitted, letting out a humourless laugh. "I was expecting a relaxing weekend, and instead I find out my boyfriend is trying to test my character."
"If you're up for it. I think I have an idea of how we can give them a taste of their own medicine." You spent the next couple of minutes planning your revenge with Kylie.
****
The last embers from the fire were beginning to die down, exhaustion from the day starting to weigh on you.
"I think I'm going to head to bed." You yawned out, patting Travis on the shoulder as you passed him. "I think I'll join you."
"Actually, Kylie and I were thinking we'd share a tent, and you could bunk with your brother. Just for tonight, we realized we could use some girl time."
"Are you sure?" Travis grabbed your hand, stopping you before you reached the tent.
"Yes, good night." You gave him a quick peck on the lips before walking away.
Travis tossed around in his sleeping bag, groaning as he propped an arm behind his head. He had gotten maybe 10 minutes of sleep before Jason started snoring, a sound that rivaled a bear's growl. Shoving him in the side did nothing to stop the torment, only giving him a few seconds of silence before the snores started again.
The woods were silent aside from a rustling in the trees. Travis listened intently to the sounds around him, his eyelids slowly closing.
****
They shot open to a booming sound, as if something had fallen from the trees.
"Jason. Jason." Travis whispered aggressively, trying to wake his brother up. "What?" he finally groaned, scratching his stomach.
"Did we tie up the food? I think I hear a bear outside."
"Yeah, I made sure of it. There is no way a bear is gonna wander into our campsite. Go back to sleep", Jason remarked as he turned over.
The next sound was much louder, as if some branches had fallen.
"What the fuck was that?" Jason sat up, running his fingers through his hair.
"I thought it was NoThInG?" Travis mocked, sitting up as well. "My wife and your girlfriend are probably fighting for their lives right now in their tent, and you want to mock me?"
"I'm sure they're fine. Like you said, we tied up the food. It was probably just an owl or something." Travis searched for his phone as Jason got up. "I'm gonna go check on them." As he reached for the entrance zipper, the tent began to shake violently.
"I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The Kelce brothers hustled out of the tent, only to be met with a splash of water to the face. "Gotcha!" You billowed over in laughter, watching Travis try to catch his breath, his clothes drenched.
"What the hell was that for? We thought you were in trouble." Travis wrung out his t-shirt, "That wasn't funny, babe."
You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "No Travis, you know what's not funny? You inviting me here under the pretense that I was going to get to enjoy a weekend with you and your family, but really it was a test to see if I was a gold digger." You thought the whole situation didn't bother you, but as the words rolled off of your tongue, you realized you were truly hurt. Jason made eye contact with Kylie, mouthing 'what the hell' are her.
"She deserved to know, Jason. I really like her." Kylie shrugged her shoulders.
Travis took a step toward you. "Listen, baby, I can explain." You stopped him before he could lay a hand on you. "Just don't. I'm going back to bed, I'll see you all in the morning." You excused yourself from the group before Travis could get another word out.
****
You were wide awake for most of the night, running the last couple of months of your relationship with Travis through your mind, trying to pinpoint if there was ever a time when you had given the impression you wanted more from him than just him. Resolving that you weren't going to get any sleep, you got out of the tent, adjusting your eyes to the bright light of the morning. The campsite was empty, the sun barely visible over the horizon.
"Good morning", you jumped at the sound of Jason's voice, his hands full a tackle box and two fishing poles as he walked over to you. You stayed silent, kind of pissed at Travis' accomplice in all of this.
"Ah, the silent treatment. I know it well, Kylie gives it to me all the time." You let out a quiet chuckle at his joke, tight lipped otherwise. "There she is. I could use a partner for my fishing, makes the whole experience a lot less boring." Jason held up his tackle box, a proverbial white flag for his part in this weekend.
"Don't you think you should ask Travis?" Fishing really wasn't your forte, and you didn't think you'd be a good companion in your current mood.
"Uh, Travis, no. He's never been one for fishing. Besides, I think I owe you an apology for yesterday."
****
You sat on a rock while Jason set up your fishing pole for you, effortlessly flinging the line into the river before handing it to you. "I always said that if I wasn't in the NFL, I'd want to be one of those professional fishers. Just me, Winnie and Baloo on the water all day." Jason hummed as he casted his own line, leaning back on his forearms. You gave him a soft smile, pulling your arms into your sweater sleeves for warmth. You both sat in silence for a moment, listening to the water crash off the bank.
"My dad loves fishing, we used to spend pretty much every weekend either camping or fishing together. It was a big part of my childhood." You reeled your line in a bit when you thought you had bite, recasting when you realized you had just gotten caught on a branch.
"I had no idea." Jason adjusted his hat. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me." You let out a humorless laugh.
"You're right", he nodded, looking over at you. "And I owe you an apology. I really am sorry for misleading you this weekend. Travis has had his fair share of interesting girlfriends, and with everything that has happened in our career, I'm just very protective of him." Jason knew it probably didn't mean much coming from him, but he thought you at least deserved an explanation.
"I really do care about your brother, Travis. I'm not in it for the money or the fame." You swallowed, your eyes beginning to water. You let out a shaky breath, wiping your face with your sleeve.
"I know, I know. You two are really good together. I should have realized a long time ago that you were different. Hell, you're probably too good for my brother." You both chuckled. "Thank you, I accept your apology." Your moment was interrupted when you felt your fishing pole tug in your hands, your line starting to run away.
"Grab it, grab it." Jason instructed, guiding you as you reeled in your line. "Whatever it is, its gotta big huge if its giving you this much trouble!" You used all of your strength, handing it over to Jason when you lost your grip. As the last few meters of line came in, the giant catch was revealed: a tiny fathead minnow, probably weighed no more than a couple ounces.
"Ha!", you called out, allowing yourself to laugh and let the worry from earlier leave you. "You're welcome for breakfast this morning."
****
Travis' eyes lit up when he saw you walking back from the lake. He stood up, wringing his hands together in nervousness.
"We'll give you two some privacy." Jason and Kylie walked off to the car while you approached Travis. "Hi, did you sleep okay?" You could see the bags under his eyes; he probably got as much sleep as you did last night.
"Uh, no. I kept myself awake thinking of ways to apologize to you." You took his hand, your gaze falling as you rubbed your thumb over his knuckles. "Travis, there is no need to apologize. I know why you did what you did. You're not sure who you can trust now that you're Travis Kelce, best tight end in the league." You gave him a genuine smile.
"That's no excuse. You're not like any of the other girls I've dated."
"People keep saying that, but I don't know what that means." You climbed onto the top of the picnic table, Travis settling down next to you. "I just mean, I didn't have any doubts about you before we got here. You mean the world to me, baby."
"I'm so glad to hear you say that, Travis. I really care about you too." Your eyes dropped to his lips, Travis lifting your chin to meet his lips, your kiss soft and gentle.
"Good, the two of you have made up. Now we can all eat breakfast." Jason and Kylie returned with some bread, peanut butter and jelly for sandwiches.
"Wait, you guys didn't get any fish when you went out this morning?" Travis questioned, jumping off the table.
"Nothing was biting this morning, we'll try again tomorrow." Jason gave you a wink as he handed you a plate.
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alotofpockets · 6 months
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Cooking class | Wanda Maximoff
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Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Summary: You meet Wanda at a cooking class that she teaches.
A/n: A special thank you to @catasha, without your ideas I would not have been able to finish this fic!
Masterlist | Marvel masterlist | Words: 2.8K
You recently discovered your love for cooking. You found it both relaxing and exhilarating, being able to add all these ingredients together to create a beautiful dish. Growing up your parents never really taught you how to cook, so you started by learning some cooking videos that you had seen online but the videos were general and not that fun, so you were searching for other ways to learn more cooking techniques. In your search for options you came across a cooking class taught by Wanda Maximoff, just a few blocks over.
When you entered the building you were in awe of the place. There were rows of stove tops, ovens and counters, all basked in sunlight from the floor to ceiling windows. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The women that walked up to you said. “Yeah, it looks great. I love the way the light enters the space.” The woman nods in agreement. “Everything is so fancy here, I can’t wait to cook here.” Wanda smiles, “Oh, trust me, cooking here is amazing.” The woman answers. “Oh, have you taken classes here before?” In response she holds out her hand, you shake it with a confused look plastered on your face. “Wanda, nice to meet you.” That’s when the puzzle pieces click, you were talking to the owner of the place. “Oh, haha, well Wanda, you have a beautiful place here. I’m y/n.”
The first class starts, and after some quick introductions, Wanda starts telling you about what you will be learning during these few classes. You were going to start easy and work your way up to some more intricate dishes. You were going to be making a dish each week for the duration of the four week starters course. Today you were going to focus on some cutting techniques, since you will be using that throughout the whole course. 
Wanda shows everyone how to hold the knives and how to get the best results and tells you to try it out for yourselves on the carrots in front of you. She goes around the kitchen islands giving everyone pointers and compliments. The dish for this week's class was vegetable soup, which meant lots of veggies to be cut. When you were done with the carrots, you chopped up leeks, tomatoes, and parsley. All that was left to cut were the garlic gloves. You felt quite comfortable with your chopping skills after the carrots, Wanda noticed and gave you a compliment, “Nice work, y/n, keep it up!” 
You continued to make the soup step by step, as Wanda told you more about what each of the steps would do for the dish, taste, texture, etc. She was an amazing teacher, she explained not only with the end goal of a dish in mind but also transferred her knowledge on certain ingredients as well as in what different ways they could be used. You enjoyed your first class very much, and the soup you created was delicious. 
Next week you arrive at the kitchen again, not realizing that you were there a bit too early until you saw that Wanda was still setting up the counters. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was so early.” You say as Wanda looks over. “Don’t worry, darling, come on in.” You blush slightly at the nickname. “I was just setting up the ingredients for today’s class.” She smiles in your direction. “Need a hand?” You say as you place your bag in the corner, “I’m here now anyways.” Wanda is very grateful for the help as she started a bit late with setting up herself, she showed you what each cooking station needed and you got to work while continuing the conversation with her. You placed thyme, bay leaves, sugar, worcestershire sauce and a beef cube on every station, while Wanda distributed the beef, canned tomatoes, onion, garlic cloves, tomato paste, and a small block of parmesan cheese. 
The dish for today was a spaghetti bolognese, with the main focus for the class being the making of the sauce. Wanda started by letting you cut your onions and mince the garlic, like how she taught you in the previous class. Then step for step she walked you through making the bolognese sauce. You loved pasta dishes, at home you always made them with store bought pasta sauce but now that you knew this recipe you were for sure going to use it. It was so much richer in flavor, while the cooking time wasn’t even that much longer. 
Before ending the class, Wanda announced next week's plans. “Next week we are going to have a little friendly competition.You are all going to create a dip of your own choosing. Email me the ingredients you will need before Friday, and I will make sure that they are ready for you on your counters next week!”
You were searching through recipe books and recipes online for a dip that would really impress Wanda. Most of the dips you found looked good but were still pretty basic. A couple of days went by without any ideas and then it hit you, during one of your conversations Wanda had mentioned that she was from Sokovia. You immediately started searching for Sokovian recipes and found the perfect dip. However, you saw that it would take a bit longer than a regular dip to make, so you decided to ask Wanda if maybe you would be able to come in earlier to use the oven to prepare your main ingredient. Wanda let you know that it would be no problem, and that she would be there starting 1pm, so any time after that would work. When you got her message back, you sent her the list of ingredients that you would need for your dip. 
That Sunday you arrive forty minutes before the official start of the class. “Hi, y/n, how have you been?” Wanda asks with a smile. “Hey, Wanda, I’ve been well, thank you. How about yourself?” Wanda waves you in before answering, “I’ve been doing good, thanks. I put your ingredients on your station, so feel free to start whenever you’d like.” You sent her an appreciative smile. “Thank you, Wanda, I really appreciate this.” 
You start working on your dip. The beets you need for it had to go in the oven for thirty minutes and would have to cool down for another twenty before you could use them. You start by poking some holes in the beet with a fork, and put them in some foil, before putting them on a baking tray. You are so focussed on your preparations that you don’t hear Wanda approaching, who was previously getting some things from a back room. Once you’ve put the tray into the oven and look up you finally realize that she is standing there, leaning against one of the other counters, admiring the focus you had. You feel a blush making its way to your cheeks again but quickly cover it up by turning around and cleaning up some of the things you won’t need to use in the recipe anymore. 
After that all there was left to do was wait for the beets to bake. So, you decided to see if there was anything you could do to help Wanda prepare for the upcoming class. Together you set up the ingredients on the other stations, while you were asking Wanda questions about what got her started on cooking. You learned that her mother loved to cook, and that after she passed away when Wanda was younger. Wanda shared that she felt closest to her while she was cooking, which is how she got into cooking. You shared how you got into cooking, and wanting to learn more about her. The conversation flowed so easily you hadn’t noticed that half an hour had passed until the oven beeped. 
You take out the tray with beets and let them cool down on the counter. The conversation with Wanda not faltering while you walk around in the kitchen. Soon after the rest of the class walks in. Wanda greets everyone separately before starting the contest. “Alright, I’ve seen some delicious ingredients in your lists, and I cannot wait to try the dips you have come up with! Is everybody ready?” The class cheers. “Ready, set go!” Wanda jokes, she was having so much fun with the competition. She walked around the counters to see what everybody was working on, lingering a bit longer at your counter. You add some yogurt to your grated beets and stir the mixture together. To give the dip some extra flavor, you add some finely chopped garling, some pepper and a pinch of salt. Finally, to top it off, you chop up some spring onion and sprinkle it over the top of your Sokovian purple beetroot dip.
Everyone presents their dip to the class, and Wanda tastes all of them. You could see that she had some clear favorites, and got a little nervous for her to taste yours. Those nerves went away once you saw the sparkle in her eyes after she tried it. You give her a knowing smile, before she moves to the next counter. 
“You have all made some incredible dips, I am very impressed. I am also very proud of the creativity you all put into these recipes. However, there can only be one winner, and that is…” Wanda looks at all the dips in front of her, before picking up yours. “Y/n!” The class applauds, and congratulates you on your win. The class ends and everyone starts walking out. You clean up extra slow, hoping to spend some more time with Wanda. She notices and walks over, “So, did you pick a Sokovian dish to impress me?” You laugh, “Depends, did it work?” Wanda laughs with you. “It did, the flavor brought me right back to my childhood. I remember this dip being present on every birthday platter.” You smile as she talks about her connection with the dish that you made. “Yeah, I hoped to be a step ahead with the Sokovian origin but the dip actually tastes amazing.” 
“Hey y/n, if I’m out of line here, please let me know but I was wondering if maybe you would like to come over to my place and cook dinner together tonight?” Wanda looks up at you hesitantly. “Yeah, that sounds wonderful.” The corners of her lips perk up slightly, “Like as I date, I mean.” You place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “Yes, I would love that.” You exchange numbers so Wanda can send you her address. “Oh, and you can bring your dip, that way we can use it in the starter.” You tell her that you think that’s a great idea. “I’ll make some flatbread for it and then we can cook the main course together.”
A couple hours later, you make your way over to Wanda’s house. You ring the doorbell, and just seconds later Wanda opens the door. “Hi, y/n, come in. The flatbread is almost ready, and do you want a drink? Wine? Water? Oh, I can put on some music, maybe?” Your heart warms at the way Wanda is so clearly nervous rambling. You reach out your hand to take a hold of hers, in order to ground her. “I’ll have whatever you are having, and music sounds nice.” Wanda looks down at your hands, her cheeks flushed. The moment gets interrupted by the ding of the oven. “Oh, I have to get that.” Wanda says and rushes off, leaving you on the doorstep. You smile and shake your head, as you let yourself in and close the door behind you. While Wanda was in the kitchen, you walked around her living room, admiring the way she decorated the space. 
Wanda walks back into the living room with a tray in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. “You have a beautiful place, Wanda.” She thanks you as she places two wine glasses, and a platter with the flatbread down on the table. You place the beetroot dip next to them, and reach for the bottle of wine when Wanda walks to the side to turn on some music. You fill up the glasses and hand Wanda one when she walks back and sits down on the couch next to you. Wanda relaxes more as the conversation starts up.
You sip on your wine, as you enjoy your starter together before going to the kitchen with Wanda to cook the main course. You're cutting up some vegetables, while Wanda walks around gathering pots and pans, utensils, spices, and the rest of the ingredients. She moves behind you, placing a hand on your back, making sure that she wouldn't bump into you while you're holding a chef's knife. Instead the gentle touch just distracts you from the chopping, as a blush crept up your cheeks. Wanda does this a couple more times as she walks from side to side in the kitchen, noticing your flustered state every time her hand touches your back.
"Hey, Wands, how can I best cut these?" You say as you move onto the next vegetable. She tells you how she would cut them, and you give it a try. Failing at your first two attempts, not being used to holding the knife in that way. "Want me to show you?" Wanda offers. "Yes, please." You expected Wanda to take the knife from you as she reached out for it but instead she takes a hold of your hand, and moves her body to stand behind you. Your breath hitches, when Wanda says, "Follow my lead." next to your ear. She starts moving your hand in the motion of the cut besides the vegetable before you actually slice into the vegetable on your cutting board together. Focusing on the technique is nearly impossible with Wanda pressed against your back. "See, easy as that. Now you try." Wanda keeps standing behind you but leans to the side and puts her hand on the counter, looking over your shoulder. Though you had trouble focussing for a moment, you practiced the motion Wanda just showed you once besides the vegetable again, before you tried it for real. “Yeah, that’s it! Nice work.” Wanda compliments you. You look over at Wanda with a proud smile plastered on your face. She smiles back at you and leans in to place a soft kiss on your cheek. Your cheeks instantly redden. “I hope that was okay.” Wanda says nervously. You smile at her again, “It was more than okay, Wands.”
The dinner came along nicely, you made a great team in the kitchen. You were sipping on your wine and swaying to the music as you effortlessly danced around each other in the kitchen. Wanda set the table along with some candles. The food tasted amazing, you were so happy with how it turned out. 
You cleaned up the dishes together before it was time for you to go home. Wanda only lived a couple of blocks away, so after the few glasses of wine that you had had, you could easily walk home again. Wanda walked you to the door, plans for seeing each other next already made. “Hey, Wanda, I know this was only the first date but can I kiss you?” In response Wanda smiles and leans in. You meet her half way into a soft kiss. You smile into the kiss and feel Wanda doing the same, making the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. On your walk home you can’t stop smiling. Once you enter your home, you text Wanda to let her know that you made it home safely.
Before the last cooking class the next Sunday, you had met up with Wanda many times again. You went on a picnic date on your day off, and enjoyed some snacks by the waterfront. Wanda joined you to try out one of your hobbies. Besides that you spend most evenings after work together, either watching a movie or just hanging out. When Sunday came around, it felt like you had known Wanda for years. When the class was over, you helped her clean up once again, and went home with her after another movie night. 
What you thought would be a one time cooking class to learn something new, turned into dating an incredible chef who would teach you all about it from the comfort of both your homes. Signing up for that class, had led to meeting your new favorite person, and you could not be happier.
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skzsauce01 · 5 months
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What Was I Made For
Synopsis: College is hard, but it's even worse when you're a pre-med student and it's even, even worse when you don't want to go into medicine. Fortunately, the ghost that haunts your apartment is more kind, more annoying, and more helpful than you ever thought possible. College AU, ghost AU.
Warning: alcohol, bad parental relationship, mentions of death
Word Count: 6.2k
Pairing: f!reader x ghost!Kim Seungmin
A/N: Good luck with exams and classes!
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“Honey, I’m home,” you call. The handles of the reusable grocery bag you picked up from a club booth at the beginning of the semester are already starting to fall apart, so you’re forced to flip on the light switch with your shoulder blades. You glare at Seungmin, who is lounging on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “Could you at least pretend to help?”
“What’s the point? I can’t even eat whatever you bought.”
You sigh and set down your haul onto the tiny kitchen island that doubles as a dining table. When you make a big production of taking out your groceries, Seungmin still doesn’t look up. Despite his inability to eat food, he usually shows some interest, if only to judge your snack choices.
On the counter, bananas in a plastic produce bag to prevent fruit flies, and a new roll of paper towels. On the top shelf of the fridge, a tub of Greek yogurt that Seungmin makes fun of you for liking. Assorted salad mixes in the crisper. A whole rotisserie chicken and a carton of eggs on the middle shelf. In the cabinet goes a party-sized bag of barbeque chips, a pack of chocolate chip cookies you don’t want to discuss how much you paid for, and a box of protein bars. 
You take the last item out of the bag and hide it behind your back. You hover over Seungmin. “Guess what I got?”
“A bag of potatoes that will grow spuds because you can’t finish them all.”
“That was one time! Try again.”
He guesses wrong again and again, so after the fifth attempt, you hold your prize in front of his eyes. “A better vegetable peeler, just like you told me to. Are you proud of me?”
For a moment, his sullen eyes brighten at the memory of you struggling with your old peeler. He watched with great amusement as the flimsy blade repeatedly got caught on carrot skin and you grew more infuriated with each catch. In the end, you gave up and ate the skin, fuming with each bite of your meal. Seungmin laughed so hard, you thought he would lose control of his physical form and slip through the floor. 
He sighs, all of the joy escaping through his lips. “Yeah, sure. Sorry, it’s just one of those days.”
“We all have them. Hey, why don’t we do something tonight? I’m done studying, so we can watch a movie or play Mario Kart or something.” You plaster a smile on your face. “Fun, right?”
“You’re never gonna get into med school if this is how you work.”
Despite his admonishments, he sits up and swings his legs off the couch to make room for you. He didn’t choose an activity so Mario Kart it is. You leave your peeler on the coffee table and grab your joycons. When you flop beside him, tossing the blue one in his lap, he grumbles as he’s jostled around.
“I don’t even wanna go to med school,” you remind him. He already knows since it’s all you complain about these days as the MCAT draws closer, but that’s never stopped you from repeating yourself.
“Wow, what a problem. I’d die to go to med school.” 
Without thinking, you snort. “Too late for that.”
Seungmin has been dead for nearly two years. The old apartment complex burned down in an electrical fire, and due to the housing demand in the area, the university quickly built a new one in its place. Sure, you suspected it was probably haunted, but rent was on the cheaper side, especially for a single room, so you moved in and learned about your unofficial roommate during your first night. You thought you were going to faint when you saw a stranger leaning over your stack of practice books, and you thought you were going to be killed when he simply said, “I was also pre-med.”
“Sorry,” you meekly say. Why is the Mario Kart music so cheerful? It would be worse if it was sad, but the upbeat tune just makes your mistake more poignant. “I shouldn’t have—”
“Well, you’re not wrong,” he interjects. “Doesn’t matter. You better not pick Birdo this time.”
While you normally would have fought him six ways from Sunday for Birdo, you choose Yoshi instead and pick his favorite circuit to start off the night. He makes no comment about your sudden generosity, but you both know the reason. There’s no such thing as pity in this household, but apologies are aplenty.
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When you come back from your anatomy lab the following day, whatever guilt you felt is gone when Seungmin holds up your pack of cookies with a disapproving look. You must have forgotten to put it back in the cabinet before you left. Either that or Seungmin rummaged around your belongings when the roommate contract stated that he could not and would not.
“You seriously paid for these?” he says. 
“They’re good! And artisan,” you huff as you snatch the package from his hands. You hope you didn’t crush any cookies in the process. “I support small businesses.”
“They haven’t been a small business or artisan in, like, twenty years. How did the cat dissection go?” 
You reach for an overpriced cookie and snap off a piece with more force than necessary. “Fine. A little gross, but I guess I’m used to that by now. You wanna see the pictures I took?”
He tries to feign nonchalance, but his body seems more substantial, less ghost-like as you scroll through your camera roll. Even though he oohs and aahs at the most inappropriate images—you really don’t think the digestive structures of a cat deserve that much admiration—you can’t help but smile. He hasn’t looked or sounded this lively in weeks. You thought it might have been your snark rubbing off of him, but he always has a biting remark at the ready, remedied only with his good-natured demeanor. Of course, that demeanor has been slowly crumbling, so to see him be his usual self again feels good.
Satisfied, he lets you take your phone back. “Sometimes I miss lab. I hated doing the lab reports though; have fun with that.”
And just like that, your happiness goes out. “That’s tomorrow’s problem. I should study before work. You wanna help me out? I hate physics.”
Look, if your roommate were a pre-med student, had unlimited time, and no other obligations, you would force them to help you study, too. Plus, Seungmin loves MCAT practice, so it’s a win-win.
To your surprise, he doesn’t jump at the opportunity like he typically does. Under normal circumstances, he would be scouring the living room for where he last left his flashcards. Instead, he says, “Why don’t you take a break?”
“A break? You, of all people, suggest that I take a break when you were just telling me about my bad study habits? Who are you, and what have you done with Seungmin?”
He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t realize you wanted to do physics that badly.”
“I don’t. This is weird from you though.” However, after a moment of contemplation: “Whatever. Pick a show to watch. I’m gonna draw.”
He selects House because he’s still Seungmin after all. This is the show that inspired him to go into medicine, and is, as he’s mentioned many times before, “the greatest show on the planet.” It’s entertaining, you admit, and you do like seeing all of the obscure medical cases Dr. Gregory House solves, but it’s a grim reminder of your parents’ dreams for you. With the dialogue of the characters echoing in your head, you sketch a frog sitting on top of a stack of pancakes. You initially bought your tablet for note taking, but it really is much better as a tool for art. 
“It’s always animals, plants, or dessert now,” Seungmin remarks, craning his head to get a better view while you continually pull your screen away. “What happened to your big fantasy pieces?”
“Rule one: no looking until I say so. Rule two: no questions unless I say so. Remember?”
He ignores you. “You used to do a lot of those things when you first moved in. With the crazy landscapes, guys with abs in crop tops, cat-ear ladies with fancy dresses, villains who you definitely wanted to—”
“I get it!” Your face is blazing. He makes your artistic—purely artistic—interests sound so much worse than they are. “I’ve just been busy with life, so I don’t have time to work on them anymore. Anyway, animals, plants, and desserts are cute.” In a smaller voice, you add, “And they make me happy.”
Just like pictures of a flayed cat makes him happy.
He goes quiet and lets Dr. House fill the air. While he pretends to be engrossed in the show, you turn back to your sketch to fix your frog’s eyes to be less downcast. No sad frogs allowed.
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You don’t remember exactly when the dread began, but you do distinctly remember glancing over the syllabus for your genetics course and wanting to collapse. Each item was manageable by itself, but the totality of the class, of your future classes, of your future hurtled at you at full force. For so long, you convinced yourself you could do it. You would complain the whole time, but at the end, you would be addressed as ‘Doctor’ and you would be happy. Your parents would be happy, so you would be happy and realize that it was all worth it.
Even if you cried every night, it would be worth it. 
You took a deep breath, looked at the list of assigned textbooks, and pulled out your credit card. You went through more dire situations than this stupid course. This would be easy enough.
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Two weeks after the art fiasco, you finally test out your new vegetable peeler on potatoes. Your friend gave you five for free since she was having trouble finishing the large amount she bought. While you stand over the sink, humming a song your neighbor has been practicing for the past week, Seungmin is hunched over the coffee table, doing something secretive with flashcards. He’s been working on a new set of them since the art fiasco, which makes no sense since you have a perfect set of a thousand that you bought online. But no, he has been toiling day and night to create handmade ones. You don’t even want to know where he got the supplies.
Well, you already know where and how, but if your neighbors come knocking, you know nothing.
In fear that you’ll “ruin the surprise,” you have been forbidden from even stepping foot onto the living room carpet. Really, there’s no point because you can get a glimpse if you lean across the island. Nevertheless, you keep your eyes on the growing pile of potato skins. You have five potatoes worth of fries to make.
Ten minutes later, when you have moved onto slicing, Seungmin declares that he’s done. He places the baking sheet you left on the island onto a chair and triumphantly sets down his masterpiece.
When you pick up the topmost one, you can’t help but smile. Alongside the words “absolute threshold” is a cartoon rabbit with alert ears. Tiny music notes are dotted on the top edge of the card. 
“To make your studies less stressful,” he says. 
You don’t have the heart to tell him that you’re always some degree of stressed but nevertheless thank him. The flashcards are adorable, even if Seungmin’s drawing skills aren’t the best. “Newton’s first law” has an indistinguishable creature kicking a ball, and “law of independent assortment” features some of the strangest plants you have ever seen.
“I love them.”
“What do you think of my art skills? Better than you, right?”
You laugh and turn back to your cutting board. “You should’ve considered art school instead of med school. Professional artist Seungmin,” you muse. “I can see you in galleries and museums.”
“Don’t forget the history textbooks. Why didn’t you consider art school? You would be perfect for video games or something.”
For some time, you did consider art school. You spent the first two years of high school daydreaming about sitting behind an easel, translating a model’s likeness onto paper. Perennial paint splatters on your jeans, permanent charcoal stains on your fingers—that was the only way you wanted to study human anatomy. 
“My parents. You know how it is. Can you season the fries in the bowl?”
While Seungmin dumps copious amounts of salt, pepper, and whatever random spices he picked from the cabinet, you reflect on your teenage self. A part of you knew that drawing would only be a hobby, but another part kept hoping your parents would come around. When Hyunjin’s parents announced he was going to study chemistry, your mom wondered why he didn’t choose art when he was such a good artist. In fact, half the neighborhood, whose children went into STEM fields one way or another, were shocked he chose chemistry. Of course, if their own kids had opted for non-STEM majors, they would have been livid. Just like your parents had been.
“Did you ever think about not going into medicine?” you ask as you add more potato slices into the bowl.
He adds a swirl of oil to the mix. “No. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I volunteered at the hospital in high school, got an internship at a clinic here. I was studying for the MCAT and then…”
And then the university’s outdated housing killed him. It sounds horrific when phrased like that, but it’s more truthful than “Promising Young Pre-med Student Kim Seungmin Dead After Apartment Fire,” as the city newspaper headlined. His student ID photo smiled earnestly at readers, and a recent picture showed him posing in a lab coat.
It hits you then. Seungmin is dead. You knew this logically; you saw the articles, passed by the vigil, and signed the student letter demanding better accommodations. Then you forgot his existence until you applied to live in this building and when he appeared in your bedroom, you forgot about his death. Despite witnessing him walk through walls and tiptoeing around his deceased status, Seungmin has never really been dead to you. He’s your roommate who sleeps in the living room, your study partner who loves all things related to biology, or your friend. He’s too alive to be anything else.
“Did you preheat the oven?” he asks, breaking you out of your spiraling thoughts. Your body went on autopilot, and now the baking sheet is covered in pale potato sticks.
You glance at the dark oven and head over to do what you should’ve done twenty minutes ago. “My bad.”
“You’re the one eating these. Can you even finish all this?”
It’s far too much, but what else were you going to do with five potatoes on the verge of going bad? You suppose you could have not accepted them from your friend. “I can try?” you say, more to convince yourself than him. “I’m no coward.”
“Really? Then why do you hide when we watch horror movies?”
“That’s different. Mario Kart while we wait?”
“I call Birdo.”
Despite his declaration, you’re the one playing Birdo while he settles for Waluigi. Seungmin gloats when he hits you with a red shell, laughs when you fall off the track, and celebrates when he gets first place. He’s practically corporeal, alight with hopes and dreams you wish were your own, but he’s only the echo of the past. Meanwhile, blood flows through your veins and oxygen into your lungs, yet you’re stuck in a potential future you don’t even want.
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At the end of fall, between your human biology midterm and that stupid philosophy paper, you break. It’s during one of your MCAT practice exams, so you at least can cry at your desk. You can’t even cry without guilt; your mind immediately starts trying to reread the problem you’re stuck on through your tears, as if trigonometry will solve your crisis. 
It feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Every time you think you’ve calmed down enough to begin again, another wave of sobs overcomes you. Just holding your pencil makes your throat tighten.
“Are you okay?” Seungmin’s voice is slightly muffled by your bedroom door, but you doubt that a thin piece of wood concealed your cries.
You choke out, “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“... No.”
You swing open your door with sardonic fanfare, spreading your arms like a ringmaster. Seungmin makes no comment about your swollen eyes or your sniffles. You almost wish he had.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks. He takes a tentative step into your room, and when you nod, he lets himself fully in. It’s been several months since he’s last been inside. Unmade bed, cluttered nightstand, paper-strewn desk—nothing much has changed. He sits on your chair, resting an arm on top of the throw blanket you’ve thrown over the back.
“I don’t know what there is to talk about,” you say after a moment of silence. “I hate class, I hate work, I hate my life. A breakdown has been long overdue.”
You stare at the floor, afraid to meet his gaze now that he’s seen you like this. Ever since you discovered Seungmin, you’ve crafted the perfect blasé attitude to accommodate your new living circumstances. He leaves you alone sometimes and stays cordoned off in the shared spaces to give you privacy, but you don’t break apart in your apartment for good reason. You’re open and raw like a bloody wound. Will he want to patch you up with bandaids, or will he pick and prod?
Pick and prod, you pray. Make some flippant remark about how easy you have it, how he wishes he could be in your position instead. Because if he does, then the situation must not be that bad.
Softly, Seungmin says, “What can I do to help?”
Your heart drops to your stomach. “I don’t know… I should probably get back to studying anyway.”
“Really? Are you serious?”
“What else am I supposed to do?” you snap. Seungmin at least has the decency to look sheepish. “The MCAT’s in July, and I don’t even understand half the things I’m supposed to know. I’m barely getting C’s in philosophy and art history because of it. That’s so humiliating.”
“Have you thought about, you know, not going to med school?”
A harsh laugh rips out of your throat. “Every single day. But it’s too late. I’ve already wasted four years, so what’s another four?” That doesn’t even include residency.
“You’d hate it.”
“Story of my life.”
The room goes quiet. Maybe you were too severe with your words, but how else do you explain it? 
“What if you became a medical illustrator?” he abruptly suggests. “You’d know exactly how to draw everything. It’s perfect for you. And it’s still STEM-related.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s in STEM. Your parents laid out your options very clearly: doctor or disappointment. Some career choices were less disappointing than others, but they would still be disappointments.
“I need to study,” you say.
He stands up from your rightful seat at your desk. Softly, so very softly, he says, “I’ll let you get back to it then.”
“Thank you.”
He shuts the door behind him and leaves you with your despair. True to your word, you return to your practice exam, this time without crying. Your mouth is dry the entire session, but you don’t dare drink any water in fear that rehydration will trigger your tears. It’s stupid but keeps you holding on. 
When you check your answers and review terminology, you refer to the set of flashcards Seungmin made for you. He didn’t expect you to use them, but his drawings have helped you better memorize the definitions. You shuffle through them, occasionally trying to figure out the relationship between whatever Seungmin drew and the word written. Other times—but not enough for your liking—you know exactly what they mean.
The rabbit from “absolute threshold” stares at you with lopsided eyes, and Mendel’s warped pea plants grow beneath your fingers. The whole world blurs.
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A month after move-in, after too many beers and barbeque chips, you asked Seungmin, “Why do you haunt only me? You can travel through the whole building, but you’re only ever here.”
He gestures at the room with a sweeping flourish. “This used to be my apartment. Sort of. They changed the floor plan, but this is the approximate location of where I lived, so when you moved in, it felt like fate.”
“Ah, a med school sufferer to keep you company.”
He laughs, but it sounds insincere. “How drunk are you right now?”
You glance at the row of empty cans you lined up on the counter. One, two, three, four, five. Five and a half, if you count the one in your hand. “Pretty drunk, I think.”
“So you won’t remember what I tell you, right?”
“Probably not,” you lie. “What is it?”
With a sad smile on his face, he says, “I haunt you because it’s like seeing someone live the life I could’ve had. Would’ve had.”
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Your outburst doesn’t go forgotten, but you and Seungmin dance around the topic with the grace of a seasoned ballerina. You show him your grocery hauls, he scolds you for buying expensive cookies. The two of you play Overcooked instead of Mario Kart and pretend that Overcooked will strengthen your friendship instead destroy it even further. Seungmin is really bad, embarrassingly so. 
“Are you going to the party this weekend?” he asks as he drops onions all over the floor. There’s no health department in the game.
“I would ask you to be more specific,” you say, “but we both know I’m not going to any parties. Go chop the onions.”
“You need friends.”
“I have friends. Who do you think keeps us giving us potatoes?”
He scoffs. “That’s not a friend. That’s an enemy. We need more dishes.”
While you wash a stack of dirty dishes, Seungmin dashes between prepping ingredients and watching the timer on the soups. As expected, he doesn’t take the pot off the stovetop quick enough, and soon enough the whole kitchen is in flames. You scream at him to get the fire extinguisher, he wades through the sea of onions, and the level ends with a single gold star.
You set your joycon down and lean your head back. “Three stars or nothing” is your motto when playing Overcooked, but perhaps you can make an exception for Seungmin.
“Why’d you ask me about a party?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. Seems like a college student thing to ask. And a college student thing to do. Go to parties, I mean.”
“Not for us.” You stretch your arms and legs out, knocking your socked feet against the coffee table. “When have you ever seen me willingly leave the apartment?”
“Never,” he admits, “but you should enjoy your youth.”
Whatever mutual agreement you thought you and Seungmin had does not exist. You have long known that you would have to sacrifice your twenties for your future. There would be good moments among your struggles, but so many of your memories would be of test prep and studying. As your parents so eloquently put it, “You can draw after you retire.” 
“That’s funny coming from you,” you say. You wave a hand in front of his face and observe the way his eyebrows scrunch together. “Are you really Seungmin?”
“Do you know any other ghosts?”
“Do you actually regret dedicating so much time to studying?”
“No. I mean, I went out when I could, but you…” He mindlessly thumbs the buttons of the controller as he tries to find his words. “Well, maybe I do a little bit, but it was fulfilling. Or was going to be anyway. You’re miserable. I’ve never seen you without dark circles or eye bags.”
How needlessly observant of him. “Thanks. It’s the quintessential college look.”
“Take care of yourself.” He raises his joycon and nods at the TV. “Let’s go again. Three stars only.”
And just like that, you and Seungmin go back to pretending as if everything is fine, like the last few minutes were idle chatter about the weather. You yell instructions at him, and he retorts back with something snarky; all is well.
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You suppose you should have realized why Seungmin asked you such out-of-character questions two weeks ago. Death anniversaries don’t typically go onto your calendar, but you could have made an exception for Seungmin. How did you forget? As you walk down the stairs, a wave of guilt washes over you.
The annual university-held vigil occurs on campus, but the apartment complex has their own small affair in the courtyard. Framed photos of the victims huddle together at the base of a half-wall. Already, there are several flowers and notes strewn about, and you add your own carnation to the pile. You have a note as well, and it burns your hand as you debate whether to leave it or not.
Twelve people died that night. “Only” twelve, as some papers reiterated. Twelve out of three hundred doesn’t seem too horrific given the state of the fire, but that’s still twelve people dead. Plenty more got injured trying to escape, and they aren’t honored at this memorial. The living don’t get commemorated—they live with the memories of the day, and that’s remembrance enough for the public.
“Hey.”
No one else is around, so you say, “Hey,” back to Seungmin. He disappeared for a few hours, and you assumed he would be gone until sunrise. In the days leading up to his death anniversary, he has grown increasingly depressed, looking vacantly out the window and mouthing words to himself. You idiotically thought he was just having one of those days.
“How are you holding up?” you ask.
“Fine, I guess. Good turn out this year,” he remarks as he kneels down to pick through the gifts. “The construction workers didn’t even show up to work because of superstition or something.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, it’s just…” You wave the folded notebook paper in your hand. Maybe you should’ve bought some stationery after all. “Read this later. I’ll see you whenever.”
You gently place it beside your carnation, return back to your apartment, and lock yourself inside your room. It’s too quiet, and you’re too restless. Your head tells you to do practice problems to burn off your energy, but all you’ve been doing as of late is listen to your head.
As you sketch an anatomical heart—underneath a completely necessary and painstakingly accurate rendering of a male torso—your bones say that this is right. 
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To Kim Seungmin, a star that went out too soon—
You deserved so much more than this. I don’t even know what else to say because nothing feels more appropriate. 
I’m living in your old apartment—where it used to be, at least—and I can’t help but feel that I’m living the life you should have had. Sometimes I can feel your presence when I’m studying. I can hear you reciting definitions and shuffling flashcards. When I’m really losing my mind, I can see you sitting on the couch watching House episodes with me. It’s comforting and terrifying.
You already know this, but I don’t want to go to med school. I hate it and I hate being a disappointment to my parents, but I hate being a disappointment to you the most. You should be in my place, so I thought I should try and complete your dream for you at the very least. I’m already miserable, so I should make the most of it. For a while, I thought this would make you happy, but it’s been making you sad and worried recently. I thought if I could make you happy, then it would be worth it, but I’m realizing it’s not, but I’m too scared to leave this path. Sometimes I don’t know who I am without med school looming over me, and it 
I wish we would’ve met earlier. You’re an amazing person, full of light and kindness. The world is darker without you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done and for everything that I didn’t do because you deserve so much better than whatever you’ve been given.
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“Do you want to talk?”
Seungmin’s upside down face appears between you and the iPad you have been holding up with both arms. Philosophy review is simultaneously boring and maddening, but you have a final to be studying for. You should’ve started much earlier, but twenty-four hours of cramming has not failed you when it comes to general education elective courses yet.
“Not really,” you say as you push his face out of view. He’s corporeal at the moment, so your hand meets resistance rather than going right through. “I’m busy.”
“Did you apply for a ‘biomedical visualization’ program? That’s a medical illustrator thing, right?”
You don’t need to look at him to know he’s thrilled. Since the memorial, you began looking into medical illustrators as a backup plan. You only meant to learn about the basic requirements, but curiosity got the better of you, and you attended an online informational session. Seungmin overheard bits and pieces because of how thin the walls are, you got cagey when he asked, and he put his endless hours of free time into detective work. 
“I didn’t apply. I’m just looking around. Now go away.”
“The living room is a communal space. So you’re considering it then?”
You don’t respond and bring your iPad closer to your eyes. To read the tiny notes on the margins of your classmate’s notes, of course.
Seungmin cackles and claps his hands. “You are! This is good! Why are you so morose?”
“Because you interrupted my studying? I have less than ten hours to cover three months of content.”
“You’re deflecting. Are you worried about your parents?”
“Morose and deflecting,” you murmur. “Two gold stars for your vocabulary usage.”
“Are you?”
You shut your eyes, envisioning the stern faces of your parents when you announce over dinner your plans to spend your life not being a doctor. Their expressions morph from confusion to anger to grim when they realize how serious you are. 
Are you serious about this? You’re not even sure yourself. It feels like you’re in high school again, holding onto a shred of hope for a future you aren’t allowed to have.
“What if I lie to them?” you say. “I tell them I got into a school that’s super far away, go there, and return when I’ve firmly established myself as an illustrator or whatever I end up doing. It’ll be too late for them to do anything.”
“That’s one way to do it. But wouldn’t it be better if you were upfront?”
You groan and turn back to your classmate’s notes. What is it like, you wonder, to not be crushed by the weight of approval? What is it like to know you won’t be scorned for your choices? No matter what you do, someone—your parents or Seungmin—will be upset.
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“Upset” is a very mild way to describe your parents’ reactions. After six cans of celebratory beer—you passed all of your classes this semester!—you called your parents to tell them good news. Somewhere between the silent congratulations and questions of your home arrival, you blurted out, “I think I’m gonna do biomedical visualization. Medical illustration. Art. It’s still medical-related, but not a doctor.”
And after a lengthy discussion filled with shouting, you’re not allowed to come home this year or ever again. CALL ENDED flashes on your screen, but you grip your phone so tightly you can feel your heartbeat in your fingertips. Your whole body is tense, flushed with indignation and shame. No tears come. You expected something like this but nothing to this extreme. Their words echo in your ears.
Ungrateful. Selfish. Disgrace. 
Logically, you know you’re none of those things, but you can’t help but feel they’re at least a little bit right. You sink into your desk chair and wait for the inevitable knock on your door. To step out of your own accord would be mortifying. 
“Are you okay?” asks Seungmin.
“I’ve been disowned in every way except legally,” you answer as you let him inside your room. “What do you think?”
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s…”
It’s not fine, but your mouth started saying so by default. You perch on the edge of your bed and stare at the stack of practice books that have been untouched for two days on your dresser. They would belong better under your bed where they’ll be out of sight.
Suddenly insecure, you ask, “You’re not gonna leave me, right? You’ll still help me peel potatoes and let me know when my artisan cookies are on sale?”
He chuckles. “The only way you can get away from me is by moving or by graduating. I’ll be here. Instead of nagging you to study, I’ll critique your anatomy.”
“That’s against the rules.” Nevertheless, you smile at the thought of Seungmin hyperfixed at your artistic renderings and comparing them against pictures from a textbook. “Thanks.”
Seungmin smiles back, and he radiates so much warmth that you forget it’s winter.
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EPILOGUE
“Honey, I’m home,” you call. 
You nearly trip over the door sill in your heels but catch yourself in time. Wearing heels to commencement is a bad idea for more reasons than one. Clutching your friend’s graduation bouquet, you flip on the light switch with the back of your hand and glance over your apartment. Other than the dozens of boxes scattered across the living room and kitchen, nothing else belongs to you; goodbye coffee table you stubbed your toes against too many times; goodbye peeling school-issued couch. You half-expected to see Seungmin lying on it, staring at the ceiling like he used to. 
“Seungmin, where are you?” When he doesn’t answer, you try again. “Anyone home?”
You wander around the small apartment, checking behind doors and furniture like you’re playing hide-and-seek. He’s nowhere to be found, and you go through the apartment again in a frenzy. He could be in a different part of the building, but he always knows when you’re looking for him.
“Where are you? Seungmin, this isn’t funny! I know you can hear me.”
It takes twenty minutes, but you eventually realize he’s gone for good. No goodbyes, no hugs, no teasing—he just waved you off to your ceremony and shut the front door. You knew he wouldn’t be able to help you move out, but you thought he would still be here when you returned. He researched additional art classes for you, suggested works for your portfolio, and consoled you whenever you were overwhelmed. It’s a knife to your heart that he’s not here.
In between tears that you don’t allow to fall from your eyes, you carry your boxes of belongings to your car. You have a new place to call home, but two perfectly nice housemates and a dog aren’t good replacements for a ghost who annoyed you from sunrise to sundown.
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I hope you find this note eventually. I know we have the rule where I’m not supposed to go through your belongings, but since we’re not going to be roommates any longer, I hope you’re not too mad. Completely unrelated but you’re really good at Mario Kart. So good. Birdo was designed specifically for you.
Congratulations on graduating. You’ve worked hard this year. Could have worked harder sometimes but you did it! Relax a bit during your gap year and enjoy your youth. Those art classes will be easy for you. Biomed visualization will be easy after pre-med studies.
Stop rolling your eyes and sighing. You know I’m right.
I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I know you wanted it, but I don’t think I could have handled it. The truth is that I was ready to go a couple months ago when you started compiling your portfolio. For two years, I didn’t know why I was still here. At first, I thought my unfinished business was about the circumstances of my death. (Stop wincing. I’m dead. It’s a fact.) Then the administration stepped up. They did the bare minimum, to be honest, but at least changes were made. When you turned up, I thought I was supposed to fulfill my dream of going to med school. Turns out, I still have no idea what exactly why I was here, but seeing you live the life you want and choose the future you want makes me feel like business is finished.
To L/N Y/N, a star that will keep shining for decades to come—
I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve done so far. There are so many opportunities waiting out there for you, so don’t be afraid to take any chances. I’ll be with you always.
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