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Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw! Gryffindor is in the lake and I don’t think they are waterproof!
Ravenclaw: What?
Slytherin: They mean Gryffindor is drowning.
Ravenclaw: Oh ok…
Ravenclaw: WAIT WHAT!?
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hogwartshousefriends · 19 hours ago
Hufflepuff: Why are you parked where Slytherin normally parks?
Ravenclaw: It’s a long story.
Gryffindor: Long story my ass. We were pulling up and you said and I quote “Do you think it’ll piss off Slytherin if I take his spot?” and when I said it would you just parked there anyways.
Gryffindor: Story over.
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➳ and it was all a bet ♠ ♡
in which george bets fred 5 galleons that he cannot score a date with the elusive y/n l/n. he agrees, before falling heavily in love with them.
fred weasley x gn!reader
word count: ± 1.6k
tw: angsty, but super fluffy at the end
drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!
my masterlist:D
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silly games lead to sillier heartbreak
love is a ruthless game
unless you play it good and right
and it was all a bet
you couldn't believe it when fred weasley started talking to you. sure, he was a social butterfly, but you were as mysterious as it got.
you both discovered that you had a lot in common, and you found yourself being more drawn to the reckless redhead, who threw you winks and smirks that made your heart pitter patter like the rain.
it had to be obvious, it had to be. and he knew too. he would purposefully say things to make your cheeks heat up and your expression to change to one of flusteredness.
sometimes you would think maybe he liked you back? maybe he wanted to kiss you and love you the same way you wanted to do to him, but he was fred weasley. he was known to charm the pants off anyone no matter who they were.
"hey, y/n!!" you heard the voice of fred from all the way up on the stairs that led to the potions classroom.
you wave back and he grins as you catch up to him.
"good morning, freddie," you greet him, "hi george!! how's it going?"
george nods, "good."
"yeah! we've just developed a new product!" fred fishes out a pastille, "wanna try?"
you shake your head. "i'll skip."
he grins at you, "good choice," and you feel yourself falling down the rabbit hole of love again, pushing past him to go and sit with angelina to hide the blatancy of the words of adoration written between the parting of your lip.
this absolute infatuation turns into something more as you see him stooping down to help a first year who's spilled all her books and seems to be quite distraught, her situation is fixed with a casual flick of his wand and a few bluntly put jokes which causes the girl to giggle.
he points to the transfiguration classroom, before walking ever so effortlessly away, whistling a merry tune before being hit on the head by snape, ('quiet down george!' 'i'm fred!!!') and cheekily sticking out his tongue at the potions' professor.
over the next few weeks, you can't hide it anymore without giving yourself away. so you decide to tell him in a sophisticated and sensible way.
you've recited what you're going to say over and over again, and as you step into the gryffindor common room you spot him immediately. he's smiling to himself, head seemingly in the clouds as a fierce red paints over his freckled face, like he's admiring a picture in his mind.
you head over to him, sitting down next to him.
"o-oh, y/n, fancy seeing you here!"
you laugh, "it's a common room, fred, where else would i be? snape's storeroom?"
he laughs, the blush never fading as you tilt your head enquiringly at him.
"is anything the matter?"
"n-no, not at all," he rubs the back of his neck. he's smiling sheepishly now.
"alright then. i wanted to tell you something."
"could we go somewhere a little more private??" you fiddle with your hands.
he seems to understand, "of course, lee and george and i always go up to this little corner off of the tower, here."
he leads you to a secluded corner, before looking at you encouragingly.
"i kinda might be in love with you," you blurt out and he smiles.
it's not a grin, or a smirk, it's a smile. a genuine one.
"well, i might love you too-"
"oi- fred! have you forgotten the bet?" lee's voice can be heard.
"yeah, remember you have to get l/n to fall in love with you!" a second voice joins the snickering.
"five galleons is a lot, isn't it, georgie?"
you feel your heart plummet as you shakily stand up, walking briskly and furiously out of the common room, fiercely wiping away any tears that even dare to brim in the crevices of your eyes.
fred calls after you, but you ignore him.
he was just about to tell you he loved you too, but what was all this? a game. a stupid bet that made you the target. what was it about you that was so gullible?
he just wanted the galleons, you think, what a jerk.
you're angry at him. angry at lee and george. angry at yourself, for ever believing in their gimmicks. sad because there was no way he'd ever love you, bet or not. bitter that it took five galleons to get you two talking. envious of how easily he can just do it. just make a girl fall in love with you. tell her you love her back. like 1 2 3. clockwork.
you're sobbing into your pillow as you shake uncontrollably. the room around you feels cold and empty. a few of your dormmates peer concernedly over at you but you shake your head.
exhausted, you drift asleep, not even bothering to change your clothes or take a shower.
the next morning, it all seems drab. usually your day starts off well, but today? you're reminded that instead of the sun shining nicely and the clouds drifting lullingly, that there was a bet.
one that made your mind go wild. one that made salty tears fill up in your eyes. one that made you feel little and disgusting.
he notices a change in you. the light in your eyes is artificial and fake. there are heavy bags under your eyes and you pick at your food.
"you can have the five galleons," you blankly stare at him, passing him five gold coins, "now please, move."
"no, no, i wanted to explain the situation."
"i get the situation," you tone is cold and harsh, "now, move."
fred sighs, "i won't until you let me explain myself."
you stonily stare at him, "i have potions."
"we both know you don't. look, it's true, it was a bet. george and lee bet me that i couldn't get you to fall in love with me at first. and, i, being the stubborn person i am, took it on. and i-i'm glad i did. you're really beautiful and i found myself thinking about you a lot and falling in love with you eventually, regardless of the bet."
"stop playing with my feelings. i've given you the galleons, congratulations. your bet was successful. do you know how happy i was when you were going to tell me my feelings were reciprocated? and do you know how much it hurt when the guys stormed in and wiped it all away? and do you know how it's like a knife is stabbing me in the heart when you come up with these lies? the bet is over. celebrate. and most importantly, stay away from me."
fred flinches at your words. "please, lovely-"
"stop," tears flow down your cheeks, "please stop. just promise me one thing, okay?"
"never do it to another girl. play all the pranks you want on teachers, friends, but never ever try to lie your way through relationships," you smile painfully, "and stop with your jokes, they're funny. but stop. because they hurt."
"whatever do you mean?"
"y'know, the bet's over, you can stop trying to make it better. you won," you walk away, "you don't like me, and i like you, you got what you wanted."
fred knows you won't believe him unless he does something about his feelings.
so he greets you everyday and accompanies you to your dorm room every night, even if none of it is acknowledged by you. he slips little love letters in your pockets that you pretend to not see but in truth, you just want him to stop trying to make things better, especially because you know he couldn't be genuine.
he leaves sugar quills in your bag and braids your hair when you find it too annoying, as long as you agree to it begrudgingly.
fred gives you compliments which can't possibly be truthful. he sits next to you in classes and takes extra notes for you.
as he's playing with your fingers on the quidditch pitch, you decide you're sick of this behaviour, so you sigh.
"fred, why are you doing this?"
his lips curve into a smile as he realises that you're not asking him to stop.
"'cause you don't believe that i love you."
"okay. i believe it. now will you stop? seriously, you don't need to do this if you feel bad. i'm over it."
"are you really over it?"
"no," you mumble quietly, "i don't get how you can just make someone fall in love with you and then it's a bet and you're still trying to make them fall in love with you," you say defeatedly, "i'm in love with you, okay? now please," you beg him, "stop."
"when will you ever realise that i'm genuine, lovely?"
"well you'll probably announce that it's another bet! i don't want to be hurt, okay?"
"but i'll never ever hurt you," his tone is quiet and sure, "if i hurt you, i hurt me. i promise. i really really adore you. please, i know i've been a jerk but i'm sorry and please, give me a chance?"
you ponder it, "okay," you whisper.
his face splits into a grin and he moves to hug you but hesitates.
"can i?"
you nod. he holds you close, planting a kiss on your cheek. you blush, hiding your face into the crook of his neck and he laughs.
"i am truly sorry, my love."
"it's okay."
"nonsense. i'll make it my life goal to make you happy."
"that's a silly life goal, i'm already quite content with the life i have," you cheekily quip.
"well i know for a fact people find themselves laughing a lot more around me-" you roll your eyes, "so yes, happier. happiest."
"ah yes, truly the greatest thing about you is the size of your massive ego."
"mhm, but won't you listen? you make me ten times happier, and i think that matters a lot, doesn't it?" he says smoothly.
"i'm glad i make you happy."
"i'm glad you do too."
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GRYFFINDOR: “Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.” –Fran Lebowitz (Metropolitan Life)
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Ron always felt like he need to prove himself to his siblings . He always tried to be caring like Bill, easy going like Charlie, smart like Percy, funny like Fred and George, and fierce like Ginny. No one noticed how much he wanted this. Except for Hermione. She always knew. And she always reminded him he doesn’t need to prove himself to anyone.
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Slytherin: you know, my home life was also kind of challenging
Gryffindor: really? how did you deal?
Slytherin: well, I collected music, painted pinecones, and sometimes I went out into the woods and yelled at birds
Gryffindor: you yelled at birds?
Slytherin: yeah I couldn’t afford a therapist and yelling at people was your grandren Raven’s thing
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longlivelupin · 2 days ago
i love how in desi harry potter hc, the scar is a parallel to teeka
(if you don't know teeka, is a black dot which desi moms put on their child exactly on the spot where Harry's scar is to protect their kids from evil forces)
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accio-hogwarts-bullshit · 17 hours ago
Hufflepuff: They… well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?
Ravenlaw: Um, murder??
Gryffindor: Adventuring!
Slytherin: Tuesday.
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hogwartshousefriends · 7 hours ago
Gryffindor: *cooking*
Hufflepuff: Any chance that’s for me?
Gryffindor: It’s for Slytherin. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight and I need them on my side.
Ravenclaw: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
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sirius-pads · 18 hours ago
remus: hey sirius, today some random dude sent me flowers at work?
sirius: oh really?
-the next day-
remus, staring at a bouquet of fruit and reading a note: toss them weak ass flowers?
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invalid-prongs · a day ago
“what do you think?”
remus blinks softly, staring at the back of his boyfriend’s head. “i...” he trails off, slightly lost for words.
“what?” sirius spins on his heels, dropping his hair. “does it look bad?”
“no!” the werewolf fills in quickly, shaking his head. “no, you just... wow. you look... amazing. truly. i didn’t think an undercut would work, honestly, but—wow”
sirius’ grin flickers back onto his face as he runs a hand through his hair. “yeah, it feels... i don’t know, badass?”
remus nods softly, and before he can stop himself: “and you lot hot.”
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firqheart · 19 hours ago
Sorting Throne of Glass character into their Hogwarts houses
Disclaimer: This is my opinion, if you disagree then that’s not my problem.  Contains spoilers
Celaena Sardothien - Gryffindor
To me, it was very clear from the beginning that Celaena Sardothien was a Gryffindor. Celaena is confident, brazen and loves the spotlight. She knows she looks good, she knows she is good and most of all; she knows she’s the best. Some might call it arrogance, Celaena would name it confidence. She is brave, though self-righteous. Look at her actions in Pirate’s Bay. She’s stubborn, yet courageous. This is reflected in nearly all her actions throughout the first four books. (starting at Assassin's Blade and ending at Heir of Fire). Celaena let Sam take the lead when it came to a crucial point, while if she were a Slytherin, she wouldn’t have relented. Some would say Celaena is ambitious for wanting to be the Queen of the Assassins but I disagree on this. If she were truly ambitious, she would have chased her rightful title, one with much more power, rather than aiming for a role that she in the end did not even want, choosing her love over anything else.
Dorian Havilliard - Ravenclaw
The famed bachelor prince, the flirt and overall; the future king of Adarlan. When we meet him, Dorian gets written off as the handsome prince looking for his father’s approval, when in reality Dorian might be one of the smartest characters. He uses his wits and intellect multiple times throughout the series. Dorian is compassionate, loves reading and is unapologetic for it. However, let’s not forget his darker side. The fiercer part, the protective side. Dorian is bright, yet cunning. Some might place him in either Hufflepuff or Slytherin- but would anyone but a Ravenclaw have outsmarted Maeve and survived the aftermath, instead of glowering in it’s victory?
Chaol Westfall - Gryffindor
I don’t feel like I even need to explain this one. Come on. This man screams Gryffindor, the self-duped hero trying to save the “love” of his life by accidentally pushing her into the arms of her actual soulmate. The brave and stubborn son, standing up to his father for what he believes in. The loyal and brave friend, ready to sacrifice himself to save those he cares about. Chaol is literally the definition of a goody-two shoes Gryffindor. No doubt he would have become prefect and then headboy. Sarah J Maas compared Chaol to Cedric but personally, I think that does not bode well with him, but rather someone else I’ll mention later.
Nehemia Ytger - Ravenclaw
Nehemia does what needs to be done. From the beginning she had a plan and carried it out perfectly. A little too perfectly- considering, well.. She keeps her mind straight and focuses on the ultimate goal, doing what needs to be done. She is smart, brave and yet not too reckless. Some might place her in Gryffindor for her ties to the rebellion and the sacrifices she has made but if you look closer into the things she has done, you’ll see the precise actions. The careful thinking and the absolutely outsmarting she had done. Without her, neither Dorian nor Celaena would’ve gotten far. On top of that, this girl literally knew how to read wyrdmarks and taught Celaena. The sheer patience she’d need for that.
Aedion Ashryver - Hufflepuff
Brave, Reckless, Loyal. What a perfect Gryffindor, right? Wrong. Aedion Ashryver is a Hufflepuff and if you disagree, well.. Aedion’s whole character is based on loyalty. To his Kingdom, to his cousin. So far, that he’d even consider marrying her, which by the way, is totally gross. He is righteous and has a strong sense of justice and no matter what he had to do, he’d do it for them. Decisions and actions based out of loyalty and patience- because hell if I had to wait a decade for my cousin to return, I would have crumbled. A Gryffindor wouldn’t have served the enemy and a Slytherin would have climbed his own way to the top, rather than staying loyal and acting out of that ideology. “But Indy, Hufflepuffs are known for their low-self esteem..” No, fuck that? Have you seen them? Cedric Diggory? Man, those Hufflepuffs are hot and they know it- yes some of them are modest but certainly not all of them. Sjm said Chaol was the Cedric of ToG, but I think Aedion comes much closer.
Sam Cortland - Hufflepuff
This will get me hung but I do believe Sam is a Hufflepuf. Yes he is brave, fierce and a little reckless- but are those the traits that he values? We see throughout the book how kind and compassionate he is, but also how sympathetic he is. But that isn’t what made me put him in Hufflepuff rather than Gryffindor. It also isn’t his moral compass. It’s his modesty and fairness. His patience and his hard work. His fairness. This man was whipped for Celaena and rather than giving up, he fought for her in the shadows. I think that symbolizes his house. 
Aelin Ashryver Galathnyius - Slytherin
Cunning, Ambitious, Driven, a Strong-Leader, self-reliant, ruthless, arrogant (though if I say so myself, it’s totally deserved). Aelin is a literal Slytherin. Some say it’s the other way around, that she is a Gryffindor and Celaena a Slytherin. But there are many key points throughout her storyline that prove differently. Let’s start with Sam’s death. She lost him because he formed a plan on his own and wanted to carry it out his way. Celaena agreed this once and look where it got her. Then she got sent to Endovier, lost another friend and got reminded and reminded again of her past and who she truly was. When Celaena died and Aelin rose in Heir of Fire, the house alignment officially changed for me. Even if it was a long way coming. Aelin is ambitious and driven to get back her home, some even might call her power-hungry after Rowan had asked her if she would take over the world and she had said, maybe one day. Seriously considering it. A Gryffindor would have never even entertained the thought.
Rowan Whitethorn - Slytherin
This is honestly a tough choice. Rowan could fit in multiple houses and yet, part of me screamed to put him into Slytherin. Rowan is cunning, resourceful and nothing if not a little judgemental. I don’t really have much to say here, for I genuinely think this is where he would be placed. Though many might disagree. I think that Rowan also shares a lot of traits from other houses yet what he values most would place him here. Besides, Rowan is a little too ruthless for another house. He’d do anything, I literally mean anything to get what or who he wants. 
I once said Chaol would have sacrificed Aelin for the world (gryffindor), whereas Rowan would have sacrificed the world for Aelin (slytherin). 
These are by FAR not all characters but this took me a lot of time. So if you’d like to see part two (or a court of thorns and roses one, please let me know).
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black-cherry28 · 2 days ago
Sassing x Hogwarts Houses
Gryffindor: I am under no obligation to make sense to you.
Ravenclaw: you‘d lose your mind trying to understand me.
Hufflepuff: Lazy isn’t the correct word. I prefer selective participation.
Slytherin: If you‘re testing my waters, you better know how to swim.
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GRYFFINDOR: “It was not ... that she was unaware of the frayed and ragged edges of life. She would merely iron them out with a firm hand and neatly hem them down.” –P.D. James (Death of an Expert Witness)
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axxnniee · 2 days ago
i still don't understand why it's dumbledore the one known for favoring his house when there's snape.
dumbledore gave golden trio points at the end of their 1st year which they fully deserved. they risked their lives for the school, obviously gryffindor deserved to win. slytherin had the cup for 6 years straight. and don't forget snape took away points from gryffindor almost every lesson, he probably did that to other houses too. no wonder slytherin had the most. and i'm saying this as a slytherin.
the only points that might look not deserved are neville's one but poor boy deserves to be appreciated for once. especially since he got 50 points taken by mcgonagall just for trying to warn his friends.
points at the end of second year were also deserved because they freakin defeated basilisk.
like where's the logic? it's the only time they got from dumbledore big amount of points and they FULLY deserved it. they risked their lives for god's sake. oh no, poor slytherins who are already favored by snape. for me it's just trying to bring dumbledore down for smallest things. don't take away golden trio's achievements.
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Slytherin: WHO is going to have a subtextually homosexual fight with me stemming from our major unresolved tensions
Gryffindor: the World Health Organization is going to do WHAT??
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cursebreakerfarrier · 2 days ago
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Teddy has one thing on his mind: recruiting the Gryffindorks to prank Professor Grimsley probably for the third time that week lol
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