#guess i'll just be editing it for my own pleasure

[sizzlingchaosprince]

The Toy's favorite Child

Notes: This is the first time I'm doing such thing so I'm really nervous XD I didn't know what to put into the background of the drawing so I didn't put any. Maybe I'll edit it soon. Do forgive me for my shading, I'm still learning(trying to)

Synopsis: After starting to live in PlayCare, one creature you became friends with grew a liking to you...

Warning: PLATONIC, headcanon + little story, reader is 12-14 years old, reader is a chill teenager

It's been a year since you got into the PlayCare, passing through the security with laid-back face and leaving the staff confused. They kept you because you seemed useful for them...

You were quite chilly and relaxed, reserved and smart. Also, because of your personality you were almost the same with Cat Nap from cartoons. Maybe that's why you became quick friends with Smiling Critters. With most of them, at least...

The big purple cat was almost never appearing like others from his party. And this interested you.

After a week or so you finally met him face-to-face. You were as calm as always, but your heart was pounding from excitement. You said 'hi' for politeness and introduced yourself, waiting for him to do the same.

Guess what? His face didn't even shift. He continued staring at you with his dead eyes.

After understanding that you won't get an answer from him, you tried to talk about something else.

But he disappeared in blink of an eye.

You were quite disappointed, but you still had the same urge to get to know the living toy better. You knew it'll be a long while...

It was worth 3 months to make him sit and listen to your rambling for 10 minutes. It was worth more months to make him spend at least an hour with you. It took even longer for him to let you stay near him and sleep, leaning onto the puppet. But it was worth the pleasure you get from his warmth and company.

Even though you never heard him talk, it's enough for you to be near him. It's good to talk about any nonsense which randomly comes to your mind and have a listener who won't judge you. It's also good to take a great nap in his fur or stay in complete silence, thinking of your own thing.

The staff, of course, sooner found out the relationship between you and the purple cat puppet.

They tried to use you to their own benefits and new information, but instead you composed some lies which sounded like truth to tell them(Cat Nap helped you a little sometimes, nodding or shaking his head if the lie sounds truthful or not).

When the scientists were starting thinking about taking you for the test next, Cat Nap started to monitor you to make sure you won't end up in the Game Station.

It definitely wasn't him who knocked out the staff members right behind your back. It definitely wasn't him who let out some scratching noises in Home-Sweet-Home. Also, of course, it definitely wasn't his sharp gaze you felt on your gut 24/7.

You liked to use the hair brush on the purple furball. It doesn't move away so you can say that he's at least neutral to your activity(we don't talk about his really quiet purring).

[Now. The small story]

It was a normal day like any other one. More specifically, night. However, this week was quiet strange: the staff members of Playtime Co. except the workers from the PlayCare appeared more often in front of you. When they started talking about 'test', they randomly passed out because of the red smoke. You knew it was one of the Smiling Critters you were hanging out with for a while, but you didn't know why was he doing it.

You were currently sitting with your back leaning against the living cat plush, brushing your companion's tail you gently patted with your free second hand. The only thing that bothered you in that peaceful time was the fact that the purple cat wasn't purring at all. It was staring at you with its dark eyes. Sooner after, you finally asked him about this:

— Is something wrong, Cat Nap?

It didn't answer. Instead, the living toy just stared at you with expressionless eyes, not moving an inch. You weren't intimidated by the stare at all, so you just continued brushing the long tail. You weren't hoping for an answer anyway, but still a small, almost impossible dream was remaining in your heart.

The silence was broken by the raspy, low voice coming out from Cat Nap's voice box.

— The Prototype... Will Save Us.

You flinched.

Wow...

This is the first time he ever said something to you. It was surely a progress for your friendship.

You stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before shifting your attention back to the tail. You shrugged with your shoulders, your face had a relaxed smile.

— I don't know who the Prototype is, but if they helped you somehow, I think they're my saviour too. You're like a home to me.. I can't even imagine what would it be like living without you here!

You chuckled, patting the fluffy tail while Cat Nap looked at you with the same stare. However, something in his eyes changed... Maybe his gaze gained a little more... softness?

He stared at you until you fell asleep on him again. A few minutes of him sinking into his thoughts have passed, the toy putted his head on his paws, wrapping his tail around you like a blanket and soon enough closing his eyes. You would call it the same night-time scenario with Cat Nap in the next morning, because you didn't know that he was comfortably purring, nuzzling himself into your warmth last night...

Notes: OH MY GOD I DID IT :D I'll maybe do part 2, but without promises

Anyways, thank you for wasting your time reading my first-ever-made English fanfic. Do write me some comments about my errors if you find any, I will appreciate it since it'll improve my writing skills.

Have a nice day/evening/night!😘

#poppy playtime x reader #poppy playtime #poppy playtime 3 #cat nap #cat nap x reader #platonic #child!reader #fluff #own work #own drawing #first post

[hiraya-rawr]

Family Agenda (03): Birthday Edition

synopsis : peace is not an option when you have 8 kids, not even on your husband's birthday.

Interested in the Diluc's Big Family agenda? Check out the series masterlist for related works and Introductions for the list of kids!

kids cheat sheet: lucas (13), louis (12), calla lily (11), matthias (8), aster (6), hestia & helio (4), wolfgang (1)

cw: fem!reader, rushed work, intimacy, children, pregnancy mentions

Sunshine filters through the thick drapes of your shared bedroom, illuminating fiery red hair with an almost ethereal glow. You find yourself staring at a rare sight — your husband sleeping comfortably by your side, even with the sun rising high up. Usually, he'd be out in the vineyards by now, making rounds to check up on the workers; or brewing coffee to go with the morning newspaper.

Now, he has his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, holding you with warmth. You notice the slight tension between his eyebrows and you smile — bringing a hand up to brush your knuckles on his face, the furrow between his brow eases.

"Happy birthday, my love," You whisper softly and you see the edges of his lips twitch to a small smile. He was awake all along.

He looks at you, sleep-ridden red eyes opening to meet your own, "Thank you, darling."

"Shall we head downstairs to celebrate? I'll make your breakfast myself," You suggest.

He pretends to think it over before pulling you closer towards him. "Hmm... why have breakfast downstairs when I can have it now?" He nuzzles into the nook of your neck, his bedhead tickling the side of your cheek and you giggle. Laughter turns to soft hums of pleasure as his lips peppered soft kisses on the exposed skin.

Before he could trail his arms down the curve of your hips, the door slams open with a bang and you jolt.

"Daddy!"

"Papa!"

"Young masters, please put your brother down!"

"No!"

"Dad!"

Diluc immediately sits up before an onslaught of tiny bodies crash on his torso, pushing him back down on the sheets with a groan. Damn, he's getting old. You push yourself up from your bed to see your other children enter.

"Hapee burthday, dad!"

"Happy birthday!"

"We made you pancakes!"

"And grape juice!"

"Kids, your father can't breathe!" You kneel to his side, grabbing your koala of a six year old daughter off his chest. This only gave space for your younger son to topple over him. It's more of a headbutt than an embrace, really.

"Helio! What did I say about headbutting?" You try to scold but a laugh threatens to break your voice. Helio looks up at you with a tilt of his head, bright red eyes thinking back to a lecture he's clearly forgotten about.

"Not to?"

Diluc chuckles, finally sitting up with enough effort to hold up three kids (which, in this case, he is pushing against the weight of three kids). His long red hair falling to his shoulders gets tugged by one of the kids.

"You said something about pancakes?" Diluc turns to Calla Lily, your oldest daughter, as she huffs out with pride.

"It was my idea," She starts, "We also made grape juice. Fresh from the garden!"

"Oh really?" You laugh, thinking about how early they might've woken up to do that, "How about we all go downstairs so that the birthday celebrant gets to eat his birthday breakfast?" You chime.

"No need! Don't you remember, mom? Birthdays call for breakfast in bed!" Your eldest son walks in balancing two trays full of decorated pancakes followed by your second eldest with a pitcher of grape juice. It's then that you noticed the head maid, Adeline, with little cups and Elzer, with a bed table to place over your bed. Lucas goes over to your side while Louis heads over to Diluc's, carefully setting up the perfect bed breakfast for everyone.

You were pretty sure the birthday-breakfast-in-bed tradition only meant a solo meal for the celebrant, and not a feast for everybody in the house — but looking at their excited faces it was hard for you to correct them. Guess you'll just have the sheets washed later.

"Lucas, Louis! I hope you haven't been troubling Adeline and Elzer all morning," You banter, inching aside to give everyone a place on the large bed.

"They weren't trouble at all," Elzer says, walking back to the doors after setting the bed table, "At least. . . Not any more than they usually are," He mumbles to himself with a sigh. Adeline elbows him in the side, her polite smile never fading from her face.

"Ow. . ."

"We will be downstairs fixing the kitchen if you need us. Once again, happy birthday, young mast– ah, a force of habit. Master Diluc," She smiles, eyeing the family with fondness as a sense of nostalgia washes over.

It was only recently did Diluc start to openly celebrate his birthday — his last proper one on his 18th was a tragedy for him; at first it almost felt rude to do so, dealing with grief on his father's death anniversary, but when the children started asking why his birthday celebrations were so. . . mild, he decided it was time to bring back a bit more color.

After all, even if he were to not celebrate, the kids would find a way to make a disaster grandeur out of the day anyway. Determined to please their father.

As everyone gets settled, Diluc looks around at the group.

"Where's Wolfgang and Matthias?" He motions for your one year old son, Wolfgang, and the 8 year old boy you both adopted less than a year ago. This would count as his first time celebrating Diluc's birthday in the household.

"Hmm. . . he was with us in the kitchen, father," Louis recalls.

"I saw him head back to his room! Should I call him?" Lucas stands up energetically, ready to sprint out the room but you held him back with a laugh.

"No, I'll call him. Why don't you pour out juice for your siblings instead?"

"Brother, me first!"

"No, me!"

"Dad should try the juice first!"

You leave the room and enter the hallways, approaching the children's hall where you start to hear faint whimpering sounds. Turning the corner to peek into Wolfgang's nursery, you notice Matthias cradling the infant with both arms.

"Shh don't cry, you'll disturb their party if you do," He hushes, rocking the ball of blankets back and forth.

"Matthias?" You knock on the opened door.

"O-oh, madame— mom! You're here," He stutters, facing you. You give him a soft smile.

"Your father's looking for you," You say, approaching and lowering to his level. He carefully hands Wolfgang to you who babbles softly, no longer whining.

"Ah. . ." He looks away shyly, eyes on the floor.

"Are you feeling shy?" You ask gently, kneeling down now. He nods his head a little before shaking it no.

"N-no, it's not that! I just-" He pauses, thinking if the right words to say. He was always careful of his words like that but sometimes, you wished he'd be more expressive with his thoughts, "I wasn't sure if I should join. . ." He mutters softly, hands behind his back. You feel your shoulders lax before hugging him with your free arm.

"Oh Matthias, you're family now. Your siblings even saved you a plate, the one with pretty lampgrass patterns. You're always welcome to join us, alright?" You grin, pulling away. "Unless you don't want to?"

He shakes his head vigorously at this, "I- I want to!"

"Great! Now let's get going before they finish all the pancakes." You stand up, taking his hand in yours.

Back in the bedroom, you notice the family each with a stack of pancakes on their plate, cups filled up with grape juice. "You haven't started yet?" You inquire, moving back to your spot on the bed, and resting Wolfgang between you and Diluc on a particularly fluffy pillow. He makes a happy babble sound.

"We were waiting for you! What took you so long!" Hestia pouts, arms on her hips as she looks at Matthias.

"S-sorry," He sheepishly looks down, glancing at the empty spot clearly reserved for him.

"Well, whatever! What matters is you're here now. Here's your pancakes! Now we can all sing dad a happy birthday!" She plops herself back on the bed, the cups dangerously shaking if not for Diluc's grip on the bed table. Thank archons Adeline had the foresight to prepare the non-glass ones.

"Happy birthday to you~

Happy birthday to you~"

"How much do you bet that the sheets would remain clean after this?" Diluc quietly mumbles next to you.

"Happy birthday, happy birthday~"

"You know that's impossible." You whisper back, nudging him to focus.

"It's going well so far. . . I'd say, it could be a birthday miracle,"

"Happy birthday, dear dad!—"

"Pancakes without me?!" The door slams open again, hardwood rattling at the force; Lucas falls from the side of the bed; Aster drops her pancake stack all over the bed; Hestia screeches as Helio clambers over her, knocking down filled cups; Matthias looks down, frozen at the grape juice on his shirt; Calla Lily turns to the door, radiating excitement, while Louis sighs. Next to you, Wolfgang cries.

You glare at the cryo user standing frozen by the opening. You feel your husband doing the same.

"Um. . . surprise?"

"Kaeya!!!"

a little disappointed at how I rushed this but I needed to post it within the day!!

navigation

taglist !! @absolut-wildflower @boundedbyfate @sadlonelybagel @eissaaaa @coleluuviida @nejibot @milkypompon @bloodreaper08 @irethepotato @ibelievein2dmensupremacy

#diluc's big family #genshin #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #genshin hcs #genshin fanfic #diluc #diluc x reader #genshin diluc #kaeya #genshin kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #diluc fluff #diluc headcanons

[munchmemes]

fall out boy lyrics, so much (for) stardust edition

❛  what would you trade the pain for?  ❜

❛  we were a hammer to the Statue of David.  ❜

❛  we were a painting you could never frame.  ❜

❛  you were the sunshine of my lifetime.  ❜

❛  i'd never go. i just want to be invited.  ❜

❛  every lover's got a little dagger in their hand.  ❜

❛  there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race.  ❜

❛  give up what you love before it does you in.  ❜

❛  no matter what they tell you, the future's up for grabs.  ❜

❛  is there a word for bad miracle?  ❜

❛  we could dance our tears away.  ❜

❛  it's open season on blue moods.  ❜

❛  i guess i'm getting older 'cause i'm less pissed.  ❜

❛  you put the 'fun' in dysfunction.  ❜

❛  hold me like a grudge.  ❜

❛  the world is always spinning and i can't keep up.  ❜

❛  part-time soulmate, full-time problem.  ❜

❛  i guess somehow we made it back with a few dreams of ours still in tact.  ❜

❛  i got no map to my own treasure.  ❜

❛  i thought i knew better, i thought it would get better.  ❜

❛  i figured somehow by now, i would have got it together.  ❜

❛  if you put your heart in it, then we'll do more than just get by together.  ❜

❛  i'll call you up and demand you have no fun without me.  ❜

❛  i make no plans and none can be broken.  ❜

❛  do you laugh about me whenever i leave? or do i just need more therapy?  ❜

❛  love is in the air, i just gotta figure out a window to break out.  ❜

❛  i didn't take the love when i had the chance but i swear i'm not sad anymore.  ❜

❛  we all started out as shiny dimes but we all got flipped too many times.  ❜

❛  we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never gonna change.  ❜

❛  i will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me.  ❜

❛  tell me, when the party ends, will you still love who i am?  ❜

❛  save your breath. half your life you've been hooked on death.  ❜

❛  be careful what you bottle up.  ❜

❛  i closed my eyes inside of your darkness and found your glow.  ❜

❛  shake things up and see what comes down.  ❜

❛  i got this doom and gloom in my mind but i feel all right.  ❜

❛  feeling so good right now 'til we crash and burn somehow.  ❜

❛  i know i've made mistakes but at least they were mine to make.  ❜

❛  all of my wildest dreams, they just end up with you and me.  ❜

❛  let's drive until the engine just gives out.  ❜

❛  i'll be whatever you need me to be.  ❜

❛  i cut myself down to whatever you need me to be.  ❜

❛  it's all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes.  ❜

❛  i take pleasure in the detail, you know? a quarter pounder with cheese. those are good. the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain. a moment where your laughter becomes a cackle.  ❜

❛  here i am, not sure you should take a chance.  ❜

❛  i like playing dumb, letting you figure me out.  ❜

❛  just another day spent hoping we don't fall apart.  ❜

❛  let's twist the knife again like we did last summer.  ❜

❛  i'm just trying to keep it together but it gets a little harder when it never gets better.  ❜

❛  late at night in my room, i lie awake and think of you and all your little dooms.  ❜

❛  last night, i dreamt i still knew you.  ❜

❛  i carved out a place in this world for two but it's empty without you.  ❜

❛  i've got all this love i've got to keep to myself.  ❜

❛  all this effort to make it look effortless.  ❜

❛  confront all the pain like a gift under the tree.  ❜

❛  oh please, i can't be who you need me to be.  ❜

❛  one day every candle's gotta run out of wax.  ❜

❛  time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more or for longer.  ❜

❛  but you know what they say, if you want a job done right, you gotta do it yourself.  ❜

❛  what is there between us, if not a little annihilation?  ❜

❛  i'm pretty sure as far as humans go, i am a hard pill to swallow.  ❜

❛  i spent ten years in a bit of a chemical haze and i miss the way that i felt.  ❜

❛  i felt you at the beginning but needed you at the end.  ❜

❛  stop me if you have heard this all before.  ❜

❛  oh, but you don't know me anymore.  ❜

❛  that's the way, the world, it used to be before our dreams starting bursting at the seams.  ❜

❛  we're out here and we're ready to livestream the apocalypse.  ❜

❛  the view's so pretty from the deck of a sinking ship.  ❜

❛  everything is lit except my serotonin.  ❜

❛  everything is lit but my lightning bolt brain.  ❜

❛  i just need someone to hold me even though you don't even know me.  ❜

❛  what a time to be alive.  ❜

❛  they say i should try meditation but i don't want to be with my own thoughts.  ❜

❛  when i said 'leave me alone' this isn't quite what i meant.  ❜

❛  bad news, what's left?  ❜

❛  i'm in a winter mood, dreaming of spring now.  ❜

❛  i feel like something that's been stretched out over and over again until i'm creased and i'm about to break down the middle.  ❜

❛  the stars are the same as ever but i don't have the guts to keep it together.  ❜

❛  life is just a game, maybe i'm stuck in a lonely loop.  ❜

❛  we thought we had it all.  ❜

❛  i need the sound of crowds or i can't fall asleep at night.  ❜

❛  i'm pretty positive my pain isn't cool enough.  ❜

❛  ache it till you make it.  ❜

❛  i think i've been going through it and i've been putting your name to it.  ❜

❛  i used to be a real go-getter. i used to think it'd all get better.  ❜

#lyrics rp starters #lyrics starters #rp starters #lyrics rp meme #rp meme #lyrics meme #sentence starters #long post

[bimtheory]

I have not been taking great notes in my ridiculous long-drawn-out research. Or maybe it's more accurate to say, I've only been taking notes, and as a result the book I'm supposed to writing has become increasingly overwhelming. So, from now on I've decided I'm going to post my annotations and ideas on here. @understandingbimbos seems to be in shambles a bit, and being able to reply on here makes things more efficient anyway.

So, for starters. I've been reading Dworkin, currently Intercourse. The following excerpts are from the preface of the second edition. Then I'll probably continue in follow-up posts going chapter by chapter, section by section.

How this relates to a fetish like bimbofication should be obvious. Not all bimbofication stories include a controller, but MANY of them do, especially some of the earliest stories. And even if they don't include a controller, or even a transformation, bimbo stories often fetishize the power imbalance of high vs. low (subdued intentionally, or not) intelligence. And, in that way, bimbofication can be seen as the ultimate culmination of dominance and inequality as erotic.

Force is a natural and inevitable part of most bimbofication stories. There are instances of consensual bimbofication in writing (and, arguably, numerous instances in the real world) but I honestly couldn't tell you about them, because I go out of my way to avoid them. There's a chance I'd enjoy consensual bimbofication stories if I gave them a chance, but the idea bores me. At the same time though, I'm not a huge fan of stories with controllers -- or rather, stories that feature the controller prominently. Although it is, assumingly, part of the appeal for people in the BD/SM sector of this fetish that play out bimbofication IRL -- the idea of personally turning women into dumb sex freaks (or even role-playing/self-inserting as a character who does that) is of zero interest to me.

My disinterest in consensual transformation has more to do with the inherent uselessness of it all, at least for me. With consent there's no struggle, and if there's no struggle, has there really been a transformation? Sort of a "Bimbo of Theseus" thing, I guess. I do like bimbos on their own, sans transformation, but if I just wanted bimbos I would not be reading a bimbofication story. The transformation is the whole point, the hottest part. Some of the best bimbofication stories I've read are JUST transformation, with little to no actual sex. Similar sentiments were shared by Tebra (May they rest in peace) and some fans in the comments of a Patreon post.

Put simply, there is no transformation if there's no transformation. Bimbofication (in fiction, at least) implies a physical change as well as a mental one. We should be able to see and experience a material change in how this character acts, feels, talks, and lives. Instead of just being told "they're dumb and have big tits now". There is no point to a bimbofication story if the bimbo springs from the character's former self fully formed like some slutty Birth of Venus.

Here's a very simple but effective example from Downing Street:

And another, a bit further down, from the same story:

There are discrepancies between her thoughts and actions, signs of struggle, and once there are no discrepancies left a transformation will have taken place. And in the case of bimbofication stories one could make the (flimsy and morally dubious) argument that consent is gained in transformation. A lot of stories, including pretty much all my personal favorites, focus on the perspective of the woman as she slips further and further into debauchery and pursuing personal pleasure. Bimbofication stories almost always end with the woman happier and more satisfied than she started. Of course, one could also easily argue this is just rape with multiple steps. Or coercion, but I'm pretty sure that's just rape too.

How you feel about and view it is up to you. I've read bimbofication stories that have bored me, and I've read bimbofication stories that have grossed me out. Execution plays a part as much as content.

Finally, here's another excerpt of my annotations from the preface. I think it speaks for itself.

#bimtheory #bimbo theory #bimboization #bimboz #bimbocore #bimbofied #bimbo resource #bimbo inspo #bimbification #bimboification #bimboism #bimbohood #bimbo tf #transformation #bimbotxt #bimb0fication #b1mbo #bimboisation

[indigovigilance]

S3 Epilogue

tags: Comfort, Fluff, South Downs

rated: PG, 1654 words

Crowley & Aziraphale finally get their resolution.

Edit: now published to Ao3: S3 Epilogue - Sunset in the Garden at South Downs (1654 words) by indigovigilance

This is my first adventure in publishing fanfic. I'll go back to meta soon. Good Omentober, y'all.

Aziraphale sat on the bench that overlooked the garden. The sun was beginning to dip low in the west, shining on the clouds that gathered over the channel, tinging them orange and pink. Sitting propped up in his lap a well-worn book; none could guess, not even Aziraphale himself, how many times he had turned the beloved pages, the edges worn soft by his touch. His heart fluttered as he turned to chapter 58: his favorite part. He glanced up at Crowley, who was still mucking about in the flowerbeds, as he usually did at this time of day. Aziraphale returned his attention to his book.

Now was the moment for her resolution to be executed, and, while her courage was high, she immediately said: “Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours.”

“Oh, my dear girl,” chuckled Aziraphale, “you do care. You care a great deal. But I wouldn’t worry about hurting his feelings: quite the opposite, in fact. Oh Jane, you really did have such a gift with words. And robberies, apparently.”

The angel heard Crowley throw down his gardening tools. In the years since they’d moved into the cottage together, autumn had become Aziraphale’s favorite season; as the days got shorter, their sunset ritual came earlier and earlier each day, and the nip in the air was just enough to draw them closer together, but not enough to send them into the warm shelter of the indoors before the stars came out.

He did not look up as he felt the temptress of Eden lower himself down to the bench to the left of him—always on the left—and began to wind serpentine limbs around his soft, strong body. Long legs curled over his wide lap, snakeskin-shod feet dangled off the end of the bench. One arm slithered over his shoulders, the other across his chest, ensnaring him with practiced precision. He felt Crowley nestle his head into the cradle of his shoulder, exactly where he always was. Wordlessly and without looking up, Aziraphale wrapped an arm around Crowley’s back and pulled him close. They fit together like lock and key.

Aziraphale tilted his head to nudge the serpent, who nudged him back, signaling that he was ready.

“You’ve come at the best part.”

“Have I?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well, then. Don’t keep me in suspense.”

Aziraphale began to read aloud:

“You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”

“Oof. Jane really didn’t pull any punches, did she?”

“Indeed she did not. Now, hush.

“Elizabeth, feeling all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand that her sentiments had undergone so material a change since the period to which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure his present assurances. The happiness which this reply produced was such as he had probably never felt before; and he expressed himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do. Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eyes, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight diffused over his face became him: but though she could not look she could listen; and he told her of feelings which, in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection every moment more valuable.”

Aziraphale closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he felt a swell of emotion surge through his body. He felt Crowley stir as one sinuous limb unwound from around his chest and plucked the book from his hands, setting it down on the bench beside them. Aziraphale’s eyes flicked to the shock of red hair that was pressed against his cheek.

“What, you don’t like it?”

“I didn’t say that.”

The ginger head lifted up. Aziraphale turned, and in the fading shades of sunset, Crowley’s yellow eyes seemed to shine with starlight. He was very close, so very close. Sky-blue eyes flicked down hungrily to apple-red lips, then back up. He swallowed: he couldn’t help himself. But he didn’t speak. Didn’t dare to move. He knew how badly he’d hurt Crowley, the day that Gabriel and Beelzebub had gone off together, after only a few short years of courtship, merely the blink of an eye in the existence of an immortal, and when Crowley had asked him to do the same, after millennia of surreptitious companionship, he’d hadn’t. Worse, he’d betrayed him, and gone back to Heaven. It had all worked out in the end, but he was still gnawed by guilt for what he’d put his demon through. He could never ask for forgiveness, because in his own heart, he didn’t believe he deserved it. He hadn’t forgiven himself.

But he could still want it.

He could still long to taste his lips again.

Yellow eyes watched him, unblinking.

Aziraphale wanted to say something, but none of the words in any of the languages that had ever been spoken on Earth tasted right in his mouth. Any sentiment of regret, longing, or affection seemed to turn to sand on his tongue. Jane Austen had made it seem so easy. But it was different when it was someone you knew. When it was the someone. Your only someone.

“I’m not mad at you.”

Aziraphale blinked. The yellow eyes still held him, entrancing and impossibly close. The setting sun caught in Crowley’s red hair, setting it ablaze. The demon continued:

“I think you think I’m mad at you, for how things went. But I’m not. I know why you did what you did. If you’d done anything different, you wouldn’t be the angel I fell in love with.”

Aziraphale’s breath caught in his throat. He’d imagined those words, coming from his demon, for so long, but he’d never dared to hope he’d hear them again, after that day.

“We’ve been together a long time,” continued Crowley. “Longer than either of us can remember, and I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I’ve loved you since before I can remember…”

The demon trailed off and his yellow eyes grew dim as he retreated into his mind, looking at the places where the furniture used to be. Tears welled up in Aziraphale’s azure eyes, his chest tightening with sorrow and grief for the time that they had lost together: not just the time that they’d been forced into hiding, but the time they’d been forced to forget. The time that had been ripped from their bodies. Aziraphale had found that difficult to forgive, if indeed he’d ever forgiven Heaven at all.

The demon returned to the present.

“…and I have loved you every moment since then. Nothing you did has ever, could ever change that. Do you understand?”

Aziraphale swallowed the lump in his throat but, still unable to speak, nodded.

“We spent our existence letting Heaven and Hell keep us apart, keeping ourselves apart, and I… I want to be with you from now on. Completely with you. Do you understand?”

Aziraphale didn’t dare speak, but felt his lips twitch as Crowley’s eyes flicked down to his mouth, and he felt the light caress of fingertips on his cheek, drawing him in. Crowley was leaning closer, lips parted, lids falling over slit amber eyes…

“Can I just say—”

“Are you serious?” The demon snapped, letting go of the angel’s chin. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Crowley, I just need to—”

The demon threw his head back with a groan, spindly limbs flying in every direction as he splayed across the bench in a dramatic show of exasperation.

“It’s just that, I—”

“I am trying to have a moment here!”

“I need to tell you—”

“What? What do you need to tell me?” The demon sat up, staring down the angel.

“That I’m sorry, and that I wish I’d done so many things differently.”

“Angel, I just told you, I’m not mad at you.”

“But I can still be sorry. I can still wish I hadn’t hurt you. I do wish it, and…” the angel took a deep breath, grabbing one of Crowley’s hands and holding it in both of his.

“I’m sorry for every time I offered you forgiveness. You never needed it, not from me, or Heaven, or anyone. There was nothing to forgive. There was never anything to forgive. I should have known that, and I regret that I didn’t realize it sooner.”

“They made me a demon, they took your memory. It’s not your fault.”

“Still. I wish I’d been better, for you.” The angel squeezed the demon’s hand.

“I’m just going to have to let you be sorry, aren’t I?” said the demon flippantly. The angel nodded, staring down at their enjoined hands.

“I forgive you.”

The angel looked up; the demon was smirking.

“See how it feels?”

“That’s not funny.”

“It’s kind of funny.”

“It isn’t!”

“Come here, angel.”

“No.”

“What? What do I have to say so I can kiss you?”

“It’s not like that, it’s just…” Aziraphale sighed. “I didn’t want to have our first kiss, our first proper kiss, without you knowing that…” Aziraphale searched for words.

“Aziraphale, I know,” said Crowley quietly, lifting his hand to the angel’s cheek. Aziraphale met his eyes in the final dying light of sunset and understood that, yes, he knew. They both knew, and had always known. The Angel of the Eastern Gate wrapped his arms around the Serpent of Eden, drew him in, and once more tasted the sweetness of forbidden fruit on his lips.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #good omens fic #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale #ineffable fanfic #ineffable husbands #erasure theory #ivoc

[voxofthevoid]

hey i was wondering why you post one chapter a month for fics you’ve completed writing? just wondering about your posting schedule! i’ve been trying to decide for my own fic if once a week or every 2 weeks is better

There are a bunch of factors that come together to make it the pace I'm most comfortable with:

The fully written fics are the first drafts, not the edited versions; that leaves me some 500k of unedited fic, at an estimate, at present. Granted, my final drafts are very close to my first drafts. All I do is some typo hunting (albeit semi-successfully because they're persistent fucks) and overall polishing. But it still takes time, and the polishing in particular is important to me.

I need a significant amount of time—weeks, minimum, but months ideally—between writing and editing to check the stories with fresh eyes, and I only do it one chapter at a time. I'll read the stories in between, but that's just for my own enjoyment. After I post something, I kind of stop being able to enjoy those parts. The editing/polishing process kills the pleasure of it, I guess.

Juggling 4-5 stories a month keeps me from getting bored, especially when I have so many written and waiting.

I like the act of serially publishing in terms of reader engagement, and doing it after the fic is complete lets me enjoy people's reactions and theories without worrying whether I'll be able to finish it. I've abandoned stories plenty and am cool with that, but I don't like having to do it. This is the best of both worlds.

I prefer having a flexible schedule to not having one at all, which is why there are monthly updates (sometimes with delays) instead of whimsical chaos; I've done that before too, in addition to trying out weekly or biweekly schedules. I've also posted fics/chapters as I finished them. Of them all, the current system is my preference.

I'd recommend experimenting with your schedule, seeing what you can sustain and enjoy, and not rigidly committing to anything. YMMV, of course, because brain wiring varies for us all, but in general, it's important to prevent a schedule from feeling like an obligation. For all that I plan and organize like a demon, I ultimately only do what I find fun and am not shy about changing plans as needed, especially when there are IRL factors to prioritize.

Good luck!

#i love my anons #anon

[oceanlue]

when the yv boys get spicy 💃💃💃

(Ooooooo heheheh of course, this will be fun)

Alphonse🧁🍭

When he gets spicy he gets sweet like really sweet

First you make sure is you're okay with the stuff that you and him want to do

Second he would want to make you beg~

Begging as in like begging for more for him to go faster or for him to let you release~

He will if he's satisfied

But he will pin you down and pound you into next week until he is willing to let you release~

He's both mean and nice at the same time when he's making your beg for him

" aw boo is that really all you can muster up, come on boo you know exactly what to say~, all you have to do is just say it and I'll let you release~ no be a good little kitten and beg for more~"

....oh

..ok yall might want to just stay were you are seated

But like I said he is nice and will let you release and then some good Aftercare after that

Seth 🏕🍂

He is the bodyment of unfair he will hold you to the edge more ways than one than you even knew about

He will pin you down and pound you into next week and will stop whenever you're about to release~

Just watching you under him squirming and begging for him to let you release as something that he enjoys very much~

Like just the moment you're about to release he stops and just stay still and also holds you down so you can't move either just watching you struggle under him give him so much power that he gets extra hard

" Oh sugar~, I thought you said you can handle this. well I guess my little sugar has some other plans too, well be sure you don't have anything else to do tomorrow because I am going to rail you so hard that you're going to need a wheelchair~"

... yeah you might want to rent a wheelchair so you can walk tomorrow

And what did I say about getting up from your seats!

Finn🌻🪴

This sweet innocent boy will make sure that you're okay

He doesn't want to hurt you any just wants you to feel pleasure as much as he does

But he does have his moments

Like he will be all sweet and cuddly in the morning but at night that little bunny has turned into wolf~

But this time he made sure you beg for him to make you release~

He wasn't pinning you down or anything but he did go faster than usual

" my love, are you all right, good because I have something for this moment I am not going to stop until we both release, and this time I'm going to enjoy myself too watching you struggle under me, I hope you're ready my little orchid cuz we are going to have a long night"

Who knew of the innocent Flower Boy was this needy

And what did I just tell you about staying in your seats!!

Auron⌚☕

Did I say Seth was the embodiment of unfair oh forgive me I meant auron is the god of unfair ;)

He will have more than just Have You Begging for him

He will bond you to his will making sure that you are beneath and he is always on top~

Just watching him pound into you and watching you come undone by his power~

He will use toys and other things the only if you're comfortable with it before any of your sessions you guys do talk it out to say what's good and what's not

" awww is my little rookie crying is this too much for you well my dear you are the one who suggested this so I think it's time you pay for your punishment, what punishment you ask the punishment that you teased me to and you know I do not like being teased so my little rookie I am going to make you back for me to finish you and then I will have a round of my own just watching you come but undone beneath me fills me with excitement now be good little pets and beg for your master"

.....*dead*......

I.... he gives a hell of a good aftercare he makes sure you're okay

Oh good lord in my heart is beaten

-------------

Hope you love this

Peace out

💙💙💙

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice auron #spotify #oceanlue #yuurivoice finn #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice alphonse

[sallysavestheday]

Explore my bookshelf!

Tagged by @antares0606 thank you very much!

An estimate of how many physical books I own: Somewhere between too many and ∞. They reproduce under cover of darkness, I swear. Every time I box some up to donate I find more on the shelves.

Favorite author: Hard one! In English, in my current mood: Mary Oliver and Annie Dillard.

A popular book I've never read and never intend to read: How to Win Friends and Influence People ;). I'll just keep trying to figure it out on my own, thanks very much Dale Carnegie.

A popular book I thought was just meh: Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. Marginal science AND purple prose.

Longest book I own: The Encyclopedia of Organic Gardening. One volume; makes an excellent step-stool when my gardening zest wears off.

Longest series I own all the books to: A to Z Mysteries, left over from my children's younger days.

Prettiest book I own: A gorgeous 1933 edition of the Arthur Rackham Fairy Book.

A book or series I wish more people knew about: I'm very fond of nonfiction that was well-regarded but has since lost its audience. Today's recommendation is Beautiful Swimmers, the 1977 Pulitzer winner for nonfiction by William W. Warner. Blue crabs, the Chesapeake Bay, disappearing ways of life on the water.

Book I'm reading now: Just finished another reread of The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. Still leaking tears...

Book that's been on my TBR list for a while but I still haven't got around to it: Everything Now, by Rosecrans Baldwin. Someday!

Do you have any books in a language other than English: Yes, in Arabic and Italian, for pleasure; in Russian, which I don't read, but which my son is ever hopeful I'll join him in learning, I guess by osmosis; and in a myriad of other non-dominant languages, for work.

Paperback, hardcover, or ebook?: If hardcover, then a library binding, for delightful crinkles and heft. If paperback, an older version that smells well-loved and is just starting to crumble around the edges. Never an ebook. I prefer my own voice in my head.

Tagging anyone who wants in, but in particular @cuarthol @polutrope @eilinelsghost @searchingforserendipity25

#asks and answers

[curieklei]

hiii so english isn't my first language and i'm learning more about gender and trans stuff and if i might be trans or something (i've been told i sound agender?? but that feels wrong), and something that confuses me, so i'm asking around abt it… "woman" used to simply denote afab, right? like a body type of ppl with a biological (not surgical) vagina & estrogen puberty. like a female dog. ppl say that it reduces women to their genitals, but what about with other animals? like female cat, female horse, etc, just bc we say "oh she's a girl" or "oh i have a male dog" doesn't mean we're saying they're only their genitals in that case, right…? a bitch is just a female dog, that's why it's a misogynistic word. misogyny is based on how ppl see someone without a penis as lesser, bc they don't have the power to forcibly penetrate and feel genital pleasure for it, they can't impregnate, they're "just a hole" etc. like so much of misogyny is just body-specific. the misogyny transfems experience seems terrible but also conditional? bc if they're found out to be amab they're treated as creepy men, so they then stop experiencing misogyny, they just face usually homophobia. meanwhile bio women (and transmascs who don't transition) have no exit door to the misogyny unless they transition and pass perfectly as male or something, and historically that wasn't an option. to me man & woman have always been neutral body types until i came across trans stuff, and i think the idea of gendered brains sounds sexist af. like gender seems like bullshit, i see me being a woman as just like being a female cat, i don't have ~womanly~ vibes in my brain, i was just born female and that's the least important thing about me, but male society made it weird. why should gender continue to be a thing? what does gender actually mean, if sexism was to be eradicated? is it bad if i view my womanhood as just a body type? most cis people i've talked to view their "gender" like this, as just a body type, like any other animal. they don't "feel" like one, they just have the body and aren't dysphoric about it. they might not always like it, but they don't have dysphoria about it, so they just… are. is that transphobic? i've heard mixed thoughts about it from trans ppl & activists, i'm just curious. feel free to ignore this lol ;;

Edit: A person in the replies has informed me that those may be are terf talking points disguised as questions to avoid suspicion so take this anon with a grain of salt. I'm keeping this post just in case anon is genuinely curious or something.

From what I see, reducing the societal importance of biological sex is indeed what's slowly happening, but it's definitely not in the same stage everywhere. It takes years for a person to unlearn something they were told their whole life, it takes generations for biological sex to lose importance.

I'll go over your questions:

Why should gender continue to be a thing?

I think you meant biological sex here. It's important to keep a little bit of it for medical purposes. Also imo it's possible for a culture to give it importance without ending up with a system that makes people feel awful sometimes.

What does gender actually mean, if sexism is to be eradicated?

I guess it'll just be a trait of a person in a similar way skin color is a trait of someone's body but like, with way more dimensions. It's kinda hard to put rules around this. Maybe it's just an answer to the question "What am I?".

Is it bad I view my womanhood as just a body type?

Lol do what you want it's your womanhood, your body and your you. There's nothing bad here and you're free to decide for yourself.

Is [not feeling much gender about your body] transphobic?

Doesn't feel transphobic to me, but anyone reading this is free to give their own take on this and the rest of what you said.

Idk what else to say so thanks for the ask and have a safe self discovery journey! Feel free to dm me or send another ask if you want to talk or me to add something to this.

#curieasks #curietalks #gender #discussion #biological sex #trans #sexism #long post

[wandapinkay]

HI friendly anon dropping in again because i simply keep rereading your last answer over and over again, you are so very nice!! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)

i have been trying to work out a way to one-up your super totally 100% fresh, rated e for epic, 10/10 5-star Vibes™ in my next ask, but i fear i must admit defeat. FAIL!

so instead, i will simply say,

drop the cat ear daru edits!!! ❤️‍🔥

we were robbed of cat maid daru in darling of loving vows after all 😔

—but really, 11 years is such a long time!! you are indeed a veteran selfshipper, i bow to your superior expertise… and i really appreciate your kindness and supportive response to my last ask, i am so thrilled to have found your blog at just the right time!

…you know. in fact you could. uh. you could almost. um. say that. that. that it was. um. the um. that. that it. it was the. um. you could say. that. um. it was the. uh. the. you know. it was the. the. choice. of.

steins……..

gate…………………….

(help, okabe is holding me hostage)

OMG HIII welcome back! Always a pleasure to receive your asks! I'm so happy you personally feel comfy enough to do that still! Just so you know I appreciate you a lot 💕 ALSO UM AS YOU WISH, HAVE SOME CATBOY EDITS

Unfortunately, the screenshots from my enormous Daru pic collection of almost 200 units, have crops very close to his hat, so some would look kinda wrong if drawn over I guess? So here's some that actually aren't that bad to draw on! These were actually incredibly fun to do and.. incredibly fitting for his character too. I do believe we were robbed as well; I think it was from My Darling's Embrace's VN (at least I think that's what you're referring to) and oh my gosh.. he wanted to wear a cat maid outfit so bad but everyone called him a perv for it.. JUST LET HIM FUCKING WEAR IT OH MY GODD I genuinely wanted him to live his dreams, and that's why me, as the ultimate gf, I will let him do it and I'll wear a cat maid outfit too to match! That's what partners are for damnit.. Also, I'm happy I could be of help! I am pretty old but I don't feel like an expert at all in the matter,, and there's no expertise in shipping imo. Hell, I joined the selfship community on Tumblr not even an year ago and didn't even think it was a thing too, really. Anyone can be the master of their own ficto relationships! But still, I'm flattered I was the thing you needed to start off of! Thank you again for reaching out btw! I'm here anytime if you'd like as always <3 *GASP* YOU SAID THE FUNNY LINE NO WAY

Also please tell your bf to buy you chicken tenders and actually pay for Tennouji's rent too at the very least Also kiss him for me as well, he's a sweetie when he's not a chuunibyou DFHGGFDHS /lh

#wandapinkay's ask #wanda's replies #steins;gate #steins;gate my darling's embrace #itaru hashida #daru #okabe rintaro #okabe #super hacking my heart 💻💖

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

INTRODUCTION TO MY BLOG

Hey hello there- My name is BunnyFoxy. I go by Bunny and or Bun for short. I created this account for no reason other then to mess around and do whatever. I don't really know how much I'll post on here but I'll try if I ever even get the motivation to. I'm an artist, animator, I suppose a writer as well(?). I also I guess consider myself an analyzer since I like to over-analyze things out of pure boredom and my own guilty pleasure. I also have other socials such as TikTok, YouTube and Wattpad. They all have the same username which is BunnyFoxy. So please go follow those if you would like. I do certain things out of enjoyment and to just have fun and explore what I can do. I enjoy doing new creative things and just doing whatever I want. Some facts about me and personal interests: - I use Firealpaca and Filmora to make stuff like art and videos - I actually enjoy editing and want to improve as one - I am a MASSIVE shipper and will ship whatever I like or appeals to me. I'm also a multi-shipper and enjoy shipping more characters together. - I tend to over-hyperfixate on certain interests of mine and I honestly don't feel guilty of it - I'm a huge animal lover - I enjoy sharing opinions with others even when I disagree or agree with them. Fandoms I am in and you will most likely see most of on this blog: - Creepypasta - Trevor Henderson - FNAF - TMNT (Mainly 2012 and RISE) - Cars - Amanda the adventurer - Bonnie's bakery - Miraculous Ladybug - My little Pony - Gremlins - and much more!! You will also mostly see me post about my AUs, characters, stories or other things on here. That's all I have for now. I hope you will actually want to stick around on here and enjoy the content I make. Feel free to send me asks or submit something to me. This place is a safe space for all groups of people! However though, proshippers, pedos, tracers, copycats are not allowed and you will be blocked if I found out your apart of a group I do not allow or your just straight up offensive. That's all I have for now. I'ma see if I'll post anything ever on here.

#introduction #bunnyfoxy #au #info card #just having fun #random blog

[milf-harrington]

📓👀

describing a fic i've daydreamed about but not written (yet)

another from the au's folder: Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion (1997), platonic soulmates edition

i have the outline written down in my notes actually so lemme just copy-paste that, ft. direct quotes from the movie bc i was jotting these down while watching it sjfhskjkf (if i do get around to writing this tho, i'll probably adapt the dialogue and shit, this is just my notes) :

Steve and Robin live together in the city somewhere, and have for years; they have this When We're 30 pact going

Steve runs into Eddie at work and finds out about the reunion

[ S: "Munson? Eddie Munson, from Hawkins High in Indiana? I didnt know you were in LA!" E: *sarcastic* "well now that you know, will we be getting together a lot?" // S: "are you going?" E: "Id rather put [his cigarette] out in my ass" // S: "i guess i wont be seeing you at the reunion, but i'll tell everyone you said hi!" E: "why dont you tell everyone to go fuck themselves?" ]

Steve and Robin go home and go through their year book and then reminisce in their favourite diner

they flashback to high school, theres some light bullying, another flashback to robins prom where they ended up going together (Robin ends up getting stood up at the punch table, so Steve slow dances with her instead)

they fill out the reunion forms at the laundromat and slowly realise their lives arent that impressive ("We're still single and we've been living together for 20 years and I'm a hairdresser and you're unemployed." "..shit")

in an attempt to Fix That, Robin is tasked with getting them jobs, while Steve is tasked with getting them dates

after they give up and mope, robin comes up with the idea of them just bullshitting their way through it ("I mean think about it! Theyre still in Hawkins, they dont know what we've been up to!")

I feel like maybe they do argue and then one of them has the messed up dream but they wake up before they get to hawkins and they have a heart to heart about being soulmates before going in

they get caught out in their lie by fucking eddie of all people, who wasn't even supposed to be there (but he knew steve was going to be there and it just ended up happening) and then get ridiculed by their highschool bullies and lowkey humiliated

they decide to go back in as themselves, and rip into the bullies ("why are you always such a nasty bitch? You get some kind of sick pleasure frim torturing other people? I mean, yeah, okay, so Robin and I did make up some lame story - we only did it so you would finally treat us like human beings. But you know what I realised, I dont care if you like us, 'cause we dont like you. Youre a bad person with an ugly heart, and we dont give a flying fuck what you think."

Eddie apologises for blowing their cover, then comments that he never actually realised the extent of Steves issues with his old friends

They end up opening their own sort of beauty store; with Steve running hairdressing and Robin making clothes

Eddie comes in all the time and Steve always ends up buying him whatever he tries on

and that's pretty much as far as i've gotten with this one bc i, sadly, haven't really had space in my brain to flesh it out the way i want too

#im pretty sure this whole outline comes off as really vague if you haven't see RMHSR #so. my bad. #fic asks #asks #grace tag #zukkaoru

[junebug-the]

A Living Night Mare

Edited: 4/8

Manehattan was awful in the rain.

No matter what Nightshade did, it was awful. She adjusted her umbrella; tightened her jacket; raised a leathery wing up to block a spray from a passing cab, but the bat pony was still soaked to the bone, and the winds chilled her core. Her outfit clung to her damp, dark fur, and pale purple locks stuck to her face. Her tail was filthy, long as it was, acting like a sponge for runoff and grime alike.

Nightshade was miserable.

A long walk laid ahead of her, glimpsed by teal eyes every few moments as she looked up to make sure she didn't run into anybody. Not that there was anybody walking that night. Lucky her that the streetlamps were on, even if they were dimmed by the rain.

She stopped at an intersection, automatically slamming a fist on the crossing button she needed. Better safe than sorry, after all. A moment passed, and even with empty streets, the signals stayed as they were.

Nightshade glared, as if it would change anything. She glared at the stubborn signals, at the darkened facades of the surrounding buildings, and she glared at her own two hooves, for deciding to go on her little trip regardless of the weather.

Nightshade slammed the button again.

Her ears shifted as a door opened behind her, followed soon after by a deep voice. "You alright, Miss?"

Nightshade looked over her shoulder to find the source. A older, pale green unicorn had opened his door, safe from the rain under an awning, with the bright glow of the building's lights framing him in a halo. The storefront itself was nothing to note, just another template with its shutters drawn for the night covered in a large, dimmed neon sign.

Eyes as silver as his mane looked her over, and a brow raised at her damp state as the unicorn took her in. "Get caught in the rain?"

"Thought I could get some errands done before the downpour," Nightshade called back. She shook her wings, casting a small spray of water onto the damp sidewalk. "Lucky me."

Concern bloomed over the unicorn's face, only to be smoothed over a moment later by a warm smile. "If you're not in too much of a hurry, you can rest here for a bit. I've got an enchanted heater, get your stuff dried out." He eyed the mess that was her tail. "Maybe wash up, too?"

Nightshade hesitated. It would be nice, yes. Dry and out of the damned rain, freshened up for whenever the rain stopped. On the other hand, she didn't know who in any hell the man was. Equestria or not, she had every right to be on edge, especially with the news, as of late.

Her discomfort with the rain won out.

"Yeah, alright." Nightshade turned away from the crossing and stepped over to the awning, resignation clear as day in her features. She pulled her umbrella closed as she did, pointing it handle first at the man as she stepped into safety. "Hold this? I'm gonna wring out my tail, don't wanna trail this gunk all over the place."

The unicorn nodded as he took the umbrella, still giving her that warm smile. "I'll leave it in the rack, just inside the door for when you leave."

Nightshade barely nodded as she set to work.

Jade tried not to slam the umbrella into the rack.

Another one of those things was on his doorstep. As if enough of those rats with hooves weren't plaguing Manehattan.

Those monstrous eyes were there when he looked back, and the beast as a whole lightly shook in an effort to get any loose water off of its hide.

He took no small amount of pleasure in watching it flinch at the lights as it came in. Still, Jade kept the warm smile on his face.

"Shower's just up the stairs, second room on the right." The winged demon nodded its thanks as it followed his directions.

It took every ounce of his will not to growl when it took a proper look at his shop. If he had to guess, it was picking which gemstone would be best to steal or feast upon.

Jade waited until he heard the sound of the door to the living are open. Then he lit his horn, covering his hooves in the glow of a silencing spell.

He supposed he had to consider himself lucky.

The others took time. Learning patterns, knowing their routines. Plans to put down the beasts.

This thing walked right up to his doorstep.

Jade glanced down at the umbrella. Oh, what delicious irony it would be.

The umbrella came free from the rack without a fuss. Jade's steps were utterly silent as he followed the monster into his home.

A small nudge pushed his front door out of the way, just as the door to the bathroom opened and the thing crept inside.

Jade slunk down the hall, still careful despite the carpet and his spell.

The bathroom door was slightly open, had been halfheartedly pushed closed by the thing he had let in. Through the gap in the wood, he could see it peeling off its jacket.

He had to move. Now.

Jade shoved with his shoulder, slamming the door open to its fullest.

The beast turned, just in time for the handle of its umbrella to meet her temple with a snap of wood. The poor handle almost shattered under the force.

Jade didn't let the damned creature recover as it staggered against the wall. His horn lit, and with an angry growl, he lit his horn and pulled it off the tiles.

With a noise closer to a roar, he slammed the beast back down.

Its head met the tiles first with a satisfying crack. The rest of its body followed after, and a dull crunch announced the shattering of its neck.

The corpse collapsed on its back, eyes staring lifelessly into the ceiling. Trickles of blood seeped onto the tiles from both wounds, staining the pure white a vibrant red.

Jade grinned to himself. Sure, he'd have to move it, patch up the wounds if only to contain a bigger mess, maybe replace the tiles.

But another demon off the streets made him happier than anything.

"Back to hell with you," he muttered, pride seeping from his tone. Another injustice cleansed at his hands.

The tension slowly left Jade's body as he turned to leave. The sooner he got rid of the body, the sooner he could go to sleep and bathe in his accomplishment.

Jade paused as he stepped through the doorway.

His fur stood on end as everything suddenly felt wrong. The air felt thick. The lights seemed to dim. Even the rain seemed to quiet in the presence.

Every fiber of his being screamed at him to run and never look back.

Jade looked.

The corpse was still there, same as it was a moment ago. Jacket still half on, form still soaked from the rain, eyes still—

Those slitted pits of teal were looking at him.

Jade didn't jump. He didn't.

He squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head, and faced forward again.

He took a step—

—something squelched.

Jade looked down.

Flowing from the bathroom was a stream of black ichor, dotted with little spots of white. Strands of pale purple and teal flowed through it, like a liquid nebula.

Jade looked back again.

The corpse was still there. The eyes were still looking at him.

The wounds flowed black.

Jade felt the color drain from his face. He saw the color fade from the flesh and hair of the corpse, turning a lifeless gray as the ichor flowed.

A voice emanated from the remains, deep as night and smooth as silk. "You know, I really thought you would have let me have the shower."

The jaw flexed and moved with the voice, spilling out more of the inky black.

Jade tried to step back. The ichor clung to his hooves, rooting him in place.

"But, I suppose, you just can't help yourself, can you?"

Jade tried to speak around the thick air. Nothing but a rasp escaped him, carrying what little rage he could muster.

Those teal eyes still burned into him.

"We'd better fix that."

The corpse grinned. Teeth upon teeth stared back at Jade, sharp and eager.

Finally, he spoke. "We?"

A claw dug into his leg.

Jade hissed in pain as his attention was stolen. A moment later, so was his breath.

A hand had emerged from the ichor. Pale blue fur covered the limb that dug in deep and heaved.

A face came up next. The first. A female thing that he had picked off between its shifts at a nearby bar. He'd dumped its body in a trash compactor, and still its bones stuck out of its skin.

The glare and sneer roiled with rage, eager to return the favor.

Teal eyes glowed up at him.

"You've heard the phrase 'face your demons', yes?"

A second claw emerged, bright yellow, reaching far to claw his sides—one that was playing the part of a school teacher, marred by deep burns.

A third, as gray as the corpse across from Jade, stuck into his other leg. Once a crossing guard, now missing half of its face.

A faded orange and a deep green reached for his arms, siblings in the university, missing their wings.

Jade knew each and every one of his kills.

All five of them pulled at him. All five of them bore teal, seething eyes.

They'd barely gotten their upper halves out of the ichor before they sank again.

The claws in his flesh brought Jade down with them.

"No! No, you freaks won't have me!" He swung the umbrella hard at the blue thing.

He could only watch as it glanced off, and the green hands digging into his left arm pulled harder.

Jade's knees sank into the ichor as he lit his horn for the third time. A bolt of unfocused magic loosed at the yellow male behind him. "Get the hell off of me!"

The bolt dissipated around it and faded into the pool around Jade as his hips vanished into the black.

Jade had enough. If he was going, he'd still get a few hits in, go far from quiet.

He swung the umbrella again at one of the sinking heads.

It jolted his arm as it struck hard against the tile under the ichor. When his hand slipped under the glossy film, it fell over with a simple clatter.

With only his head still above the black, Jade roared, thrashing against the claws.

Ichor filled the open space as his jaw sank beneath it.

The scream was muffled as the rest sank beneath. Jade was reduced to a silvery mane and a pair of ears, lost in a liquid star field.

And then, he was gone.

The ichor receded. Back onto the tiles. Back into the wounds.

The corpse regained its colors as the last drops returned. The wounds stitched themselves together again, leaving no trace of the injury.

The claws moved, gripping the wall to pull the form up, sitting alone on the tile floor. Another round of dull cracking reverberated around the bathroom as the vertebrae in its neck repaired and realigned themselves.

Nightshade rolled her neck to get everything back into the normal flow. So much for a long walk, good riddance.

The dark mare returned to her plan for her stop. Her clothes were peeled away and left in the rack of the dryer. A quick wash pulled the grime and rainwater away from her fur and hair.

Nightshade stepped out of the shower fresh and revitalized. A quick stop in the warmth of the dryer left her coat feeling fuzzy as the dampness left and she redressed.

She spared a glance at the umbrella.

Ironic, she supposed, that her small friend for the night brought her down for a moment. Still, she picked up the poor tool and ran a thumb along the cracks in the handle. They glowed a muted teal as they were mended, almost good as new by the time she was done.

Nightshade stepped out of the bathroom and set to turning out the lights in the building. It wouldn't do to waste power, after all, not when the previous tenant wouldn't be returning.

Oh, those five had jumped at the opportunity to help. So eager to pay back what Jade had given them.

A low laugh, closer to a cackle, followed the bat pony down the stairs as she made her way out.

And then, a dark shop behind her, she stood under the awning again. The rain was still pouring, showing no sign of letting up.

It didn't matter. Nightshade dissolved where she stood, umbrella and all, collapsing into a mass of smoky shadow.

Swirls of purple and teal and pinpricks of light dotted it as drifted on the wind, leaving Manehattan far behind it.

#Junebug Writes #fanfiction #original character #oc: Nightshade #mlp #horror #anthro #writing #body horror cw #enjoy the night mare! #everybody loves a demon horse #right? #need to remind myself she's a demon more #she's allowed to be spooky #as a treat #violence cw #death cw

[ridreamir]

Edit: This is all scrapped, but I'm not sure if I want to delete the post or not. I guess you get to see the really really ugly part of my trash writing process :stickbug: for now, that is

I think I'll also be writing oneshots/smaller things to keep me going

This song is going to be the inspiration for one of them :^) I have not slept for the longest time :E __________________________________________________

A simple practice of mindfulness. 

On a day of light rain, take special care in noticing the sensations of the body. This can be done alongside gentle exercise, what is most important is understanding the equilibrium of the self. Though not required, mindfulness of one’s inner voice is suggested, as training the body and mind together is a practice of both balance and mindfulness. Just as one cares for the body and soul, so too does the space in which one dwells. Awareness of one’s surroundings can also be considered a meritable practice of mindfulness.

After all, there is a spiritual element that may be maintained when considering one’s place within the walls of a sacred space, and reflexively, within the structure of the world. On days of less gentle rain, none could go out into the main courtyard without dragging a trail of water following close behind, so many stayed inside. Some of the temple hands would stay to watch as you went about polishing what you could find in an effort to keep busy, but no words were ever exchanged beyond a simple, polite cordiality. Cleaning for the monastery has been a rigorous form of training in its own way, despite not being the standard breed of spiritualist. Not just the physical strain, but your emotional strength had constantly been under question, and it was easy to make a fool of yourself by saying the wrong thing. Silence was a virtue itself despite the problems it brought. 

 It must have looked like a simple practice of gratitude in exchange for indefinite sanctuary. 

.

.

Often, there is a mat laid out beside the open columns that overlook the courtyard. Without elsewhere to go, It is you that rests in solitude, beneath the star laden sky. The marble of the floor is cold to the touch. A hand rests against it, smoothing slow patterns down along the weathering. A cold front rolls over the mountain, bringing a breeze to caress a sliver of exposed skin. Your side is warm, flush against the bamboo, dry in the absence of rain. 

It is not always unpleasant to sleep outside during the rainy season. But it does remind one that there are few pleasures afforded to those who seek to obtain spiritual piety. For those that remain, they must be sought out. You could think of a select few. 

 The meals are offerings of rice and grain on most days, meant to sustain the body. They were hardly frivolous by any means, but they did well to feed and nourish. On days of light rain, the tin rattling of the roof follows no pattern nor rhythm. A single rain catcher is allowed to hang underneath a barren tree, its branches not yet over-cumbered by a million tiny blossoms. The light green papules on the bark are a sign that they are soon to come. Though welcome to walk amongst the temple hands, you have not been recognized as one. Many offer you no acknowledgments as they wander along, fulfilling their simple duties. It is clear that you are in many ways not a member of the temple, but rather a charitable case living under its roof. These have been your observations in your time at the monastery. You were not upheld to pious standards nor teachings, so long as you did not disrespect sacred space. That did not at all mean that you hadn’t picked up a few of the teachings that were common practice. As the unfitting puzzle piece, you had begun to trace the cracks in the marble, looking for a place to belong. 

.

.

There is one sole monk that never fails to address you in times you find your paths interwoven– usually in the early morning and just after dusk. 

He is a teacher, an overseer of some kind. He seems to be of the belief that one need not be of pious background to benefit from mindful practices. Thus, it was he who offered you the most in terms of conversation. You let him do the speaking, not looking to showcase your ignorance of their customs. He seemed not to mind, and even less like he’d be the type to judge, unlike many others living under the monastery in the name of ancient tradition. 

It had made sense, that he had taken some interest in your doings. When you had woken underneath the ornate ceiling of the main atrium for the first time, it had been his name that the temple hands had called for. After some intense questioning, he had since concluded that appearances made little difference in genuine innocence. Though you had wanted to express some sort of gratitude for his willingness to consider you, daily duties had kept you on separate sides of the complex, leaving you locked out of the restricted areas he’d been expected to frequent. It was lonely, truthfully, watching him disappear behind a row of arches that seemed to lead to a staircase far down the hall.

From what you could glean, the libraries had also been past the forbidden arches, not that you could even read the Hanzi scrolls, yet there was little left for you to memorize past the scars on the bark beneath your favorite tree and the days it last rained. 

.

.

You continued to look for ways to practice mindfulness, unconventional as your methods had been. It did not matter to you how you achieved a sense of bettering yourself, so long as you had been making progress. Not that it was easy, being self-taught. Trying to catch the movement of sprouts as they broke from the earth, you’d attempt to sit in place without any care for the time nor any external sensations, and dusk would often break before your daydreams of drizzling rain and perfect blossoms covered in dew faded into meditative quietude.

Despite the passing time, and the slow crawl of the blaring moon across an arc in the sky, there had been a noticeable lack in progress in your spiritual endeavors. The only visible difference had been in how intensely you longed for something to change. 

.

. “I understand how you feel, young Omi.” You had overheard earlier that day. “The start of your journey may make the road ahead seem impossible to trek, but you must focus on the small steps your feet must take to move forward and nothing else.”

Somehow, it felt like those words had purposely found their way to you, as well. 

.

.

A heavy thick layering of deep swirling grey had covered the skies the morning before the first storm of the season. Without the warmth of the sun, frost had dusted over the courtyard marble, leaving it moist to the touch. The thunder had come not long after the first flash of lightning, and it reverberated over the many mountain peaks in a foreboding grumble. The crashing downpour came suddenly, ripping away any peace that came with meditating under the light trickle of rain. You’d already been soaked, and it would be no different whether you went in now versus later– the floor would take up puddles either way. So instead of seeking shelter, you stayed put in place, once again trying to sink back into a state of peace. The lightning flashing behind the darkness of closed eyes did little to deter you. .

.

#reader insert #xiaolin showdown #writing #writing project #Youtube #scrapped

[maguro13-2]

War of Shadow Realm ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 4 Epilogue [3/6]

[Mystic Mansion - Naofumi Hataya, Jun Senoue]

Seto : Alright, let's follow our door steps and get to Grim's throne.

Moirai Albarn : It's our pleasure.

Mamimi : Let's do this, right away!

[The montage begins with the girls venturing in the castle while Mamimi takes pictures in every room and hall, then the three rides on the trolleys like roller coaster rides and avoids obstacles and lasers. And then montage stops to where the girls are looking a giant skeleton statue while standing next to the switches]

[Cricket chirping]

Moirai Albarn : So, ummm, who does have a reference for other Sega titles like this one over here?

Mamimi : [takes picture of the Skeleton] Totally a neat Halloween decoration. Does this place contains any balloons or stuff like that?

Seto : No, there wasn't. And I think you might be right, there was candy and balloons for the reaper's birthday or halloween at his castle with his robot buds. He gives candy to men, women, and children during all of halloween.

Mamimi : Oh that figures much to me, but hey, at least they gave me a lolipop to suck on my nerves. [Gary pops up]

Gary : Meow! [pops out]

Mamimi : (realizing) Huh? Ah, darn! Friggin' 4kids edit! They always drop the balls to edit my smoking habits and they always do that to violence on TV!

Moirai Albarn : Let's reconsider on 4kids thinking that Shounen animation are for kids and there for the big kids, teen stuff. It's really commondation for boys at ages like this. That's how the demographic system works.

Mamimi : Good idea! But we should get going to look around the reaper's castle or were just not going to look down on the dark abyss falling pit thingy. Right? [no one is asking question] I thought so.

[the montage continues and the music resumes, then ends where the three girls are at three altars]

Mamimi : So why are we here again?

Seto : It's probably where they do things to clear this test.

Moirai Albarn : I agree, it's like this place for a video game level has some serious challenges for those who wanted to pass the test.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Indeed!

(the girls jump in fear, screaming)

Moirai Albarn : How did you get here?!

Grim (Metal Sonic) : You have finally manage to pass your final tests. Welcome to the end of the mystic Mansion level,call it, the void area. these three altars in the void are trials of those who are different types that are strong enough to pass the tests and earned your freed I'll give you a demonstration. These are the trials that I've set up in four different voids : The Blue Void is for those who are speed types than can get across by having no fear of falling off, the Yellow Void are those who are fly types that can get across by facing the fear of heights, and the red void is for those who can show their strength and by taking up courage.

Seto : And let me guess, the Cyan Void is for those that forgot of how to put out the torches.

Mamimi : Yeah, that only works. So why are these voids are always the challenge of nearing the void room that is the end of the level.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : It's very intriguing that I found that I had many people that came to this room. Before the Neo Metal Sonic uprising incident, my servants were manipulated by that criminal Mastermind and had my men working for him as slaves, using my castle as a base of his own, and I, the great God of Death, had terms of giving this perfect body that I possessed and would apprehend as the great Death God of Mobius as thyself, so I chose the body of a blue doppelganger and became this castle's owner. I know you girls wanted to pass the trials of each type they possess in one's hearts, the superpowers that resides in three different powers cores of the tricolors.

Seto : Very good, my Lord.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Very well, then. You three girls have made it to the end of the Mystic Mansion level and to get to the throne of my palace, or the exit to one's freedom, you must complete the final test of this challenge and I may let you proceed to enter the reaper's throne room.

Seto : Okay, we accept that challenge. We'll pass the three trials and to show you how worthy we are.

Moirai Albarn : So am I.

Mamimi : Don't get me started on this one, I'm just warming up to live up my powers! And there's no way that I'm gonna back down a challenge. Besides, how hard can these final tests be?

"One passing the final test later..."

Moirai Albarn : We just barely made it to past our final tests and anyone thinks it's hard to pass!

Seto : I took the Blue Void which I had to homing attack the ghosts by jumping across, without falling off.

Moirai Albarn : I took the Yellow void by getting across by facing my fear of heights, and it was nuts on those platflorms! But I feel like that I don't have acrophobia.

Mamimi : Oh for me? I took the Red Void and showed my strength.

Seto : Really? But how?

Mamimi : I knocked the crap out of that Egg Hammer throwing him off, causing him a Smash KO by doing this! (The smoke from cigarette to create a psychedelic effect, creating the negative zone) Totally wicked and gets you a little high with this smoke that has the psychedelic effect don't it?

Moirai Albarn : Yeah...That would like that you are definitely tripping balls there. That psychedelic effect is some kind of special effects don't it?

Mamimi : Nope. It's pure magic, totally not on drugs or anything. So come on, get your self a little high and do a little trip with me. (Seto takes cigarette from her and crushes to put it out)

Seto : Oi! Can't you read the sign over there!? Some other areas can be a place for smokers, but this castle is a smoke-free place, so no smoking in the reaper's throne room!

Mamimi : Oh, my bad. But I could go for another on my free time from work. (Puts another cigarette in her mouth) When it comes girls who thought Sanji was a sucker pops, but turns out he was a fine smoker that have the ability for his flaming kicks. Hey, reaper. Could you get me a lighter from your torches?...Oh right, I'm not allowed to smoke at the reaper's throne room nor the castle. But on the other hand, 4kids has edited out on Sanji's smoking habits that will make him to give the fan girls some lolipops.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : *angry vain* YEAH, PAPER GIRL!? WELL THOSE THINGS WILL KILL YOUR LUNGS, YOU KNOW THAT!?

Seto : I wouldn't recall anyone of being myself a smoker at a young age like this nowadays.

Moirai Albarn : I agree in my smoking-free days, I heard that from Superman when he says that I "Never say yes to a cigarette" on that campaign. It's the nicotine thing campaign from the department of health in the 20th century.

Mamimi : Thanks for understanding me that. Anyway, here are your news of the spreading truth, it will show the truth hidden from the public eyes and witches, secretly kept hidden by the men of Shinra's influence. This will make yourself useful.

Grim (Metal sonic) : Good, I'll read them in the libray.

[Gaia Manuscripts - Takahito Eguchi]

Seto : A library? This castle has a library? Nobody told me that the castle itself has a libray. How did you know that stuff?

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Because I have the acquaintance of seeking yourselves with knowledge from the world of Sonic itself and the real world, I've known history, I've many famous people, and I've know everything that I share lots of info to have the biggest IQ to read. Reading is fundamental when it comes to study for the biggest bookworm in the world.

Moirai Albarn : Heh. Luckily, I've been the library before. Me and my sister comes to the library every day on earth in our days of studying about planet earth. But do you know something about a "diary" that was locked within the library? I mean looking for a book about Ashley's kind and her family.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Ah, yes. The beings that she like to call it Witchkind, that was the definition of her people's race. Their pride for magic, sorcery, and craftsmanship tied together with both humans and demons working alongside in Real World AU. They were the only Kind that Ashley knew they would grow stronger every day and every night by worshiping the only demon that is powerful and is not only a god, but a king or queen that is almighty to the demons. If you want know more than that, then come with me to the Mystic Mansion's Library. Follow me, friends. Seek yourselves with the knowledge there is. [walks off]

Seto : This should be a piece of cake. [hears Grim clearing throat] Umm, Yes, my lord. I'll be heading to the library with you and along with these friends of mine. [walks after Grim]

Mamimi : Wait, does this reaper have a Library in the castle or he's some kind of book worm or something? I'm not much of a nerdy girl who does stuff in the library and I only have a lot of IQ in my system, millions of IQ to spread as a Genius of influece. How does that sound for a brainiac genius like me in the first place?

Moirai Albarn : [growls like a lion]

Mamimi : Oh, right! You know with the brains and the Brawns, I get it, I get it!

Moirai Albarn : Hope you find yourself lucky. [walks off]

Mamimi : [hears something growling] Woah! What was that noise? Probably my stomace or something. I wonder if I'm gonna eat something for my appetite? Oh well, to the library it is. [walks after the group]

~ Seventy-Fifth Scene : Castle of the Death God ~

#sonic the hedgehog #flcl #needless #soul eater #fire force #mamimi samejima #metal sonic #maka albarn #seto #sega #sonic team #square enix #adult swim #production ig #crossover #drama #dark comedy #horror #mystery #thriller #supernatural #dark fantasy #science fiction #adventure #action

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

House of Leaves, Chapter 11

Well this is a very full chapter. Let's start with the two-column text concerning itself with comparing Navy and Tom with Esau and Jacob.¹ As thematically on brand it is with paintin Tom and Navy's relationship, it seems just as...

Poorly-executed as Zampanò seems to have thought. It's not just the reference itself being bad. I, in my nastiest editing streak, couldn't call it a bad passage. Or what little we've recovered. But it wends, it winds, it makes exception and even calls to mind that Navidson and Holloway might be more befitting of the two in some way. It is the clinically perfect passage that the author nevertheless despises. Ironically (or not ironically at all because this is clearly Danielewski's intent), Zampanò's work here only comes to fruition after being broken apart and reconstituted.² Yes. Exactly like Tom. Exactly like his relationship with Navy. And exactly what he's attempting to do between his brother and Karen. But the pieces that are lost glare out just as finely. Here is a passage where Tom is described as feeling envious of Navidson and disappointed in himself.³ "Lost." Is plastered in the footnote explaining the literal loss of content.⁴

But it's Tom who is lost. Moon above the formatting is doing so much lifting, it really is inspired. This is to say nothing of the way the footnotes and the real text remind me of an ascending and then descending staircase, but that could easily just be my own reaching.

Then we have Tom's story, and we have a chance to really see him. I think it's cute in some kind of way that he has the larger text. It seems a little friendlier somehow. And he's like this, these cute little moments where he's just trying to keep sane with good humor. Talking about Mr. Monster. There's even the red pirate shirt joke!⁵ This section is undoubtedly his, preserved and not infringed on. I doubt I need to keep saying it but just like in the story. He is alone, un-intruded on. Even if he needs his own pair of brown pants. I sure as hell would in this house.

And of course... Of course he told Navy that Karen loved him before even being asked. This man's so sweet. It's no wonder Navidson was better equipped to explore, his friends are just better people with better relationships together.

Oh hi, Johnny. Got some more sex to talk about? You do?

Man's even brought a list with him. For once not his but his friend Lude's.⁶ Talking about a month-long bender of, you guessed it, drugs and sex. This is a literal list, it has name, age, where they... came at, I guess?

...But then this interlude got interesting. Sad, tragic maybe, but there's this little change here or something. Johnny had a pass at Clara, who suddenly recalls a, well, rape experience. Johnny hardly handled it the best, he was still high as fuck and cracking jokes. But in the aftermath he has made a new list.⁷ I almost feel like this is the first time he's even considered the multitudes he's slept with to have feelings and problems that may rival some of his own. To see women as more than sources of pleasure, sexual or no. Even if this list is entirely made up (which it is, Johnny admits to it being his daydreams and guesses), it's a change. It's even humanizing, in a sense.

Maybe my reading on this will change. If it does I'll say so. But considering this next major passage I feel a little more sure in my interpretation. This... This hypersexualized woman. Name?

Johnnie.

I mean come on, it's almost too obvious. She's practically a caricature of Johnny's vice for lust. An extreme of physical attraction (for Johnny, at least) but... But cold. Half-formed. Dare I say lacking in the sort of empathy that comes from hardships? As I've said, Johnny is a man who sees women as a source of pleasure. Here is a woman who is only pleasure, zero pain.

...Of course she would kill the dog. It's a miserable little thing that needs empathy and care. This... spectre has none, and gave it over to the streets with callous violence. And I think Johnny's finally begun to learn from it. Even if he's still kind of a shithead he's at least thinking something about other people and their circumstances.

We'll see if it holds water. For now we're finishing Tom's Story. Navy and Reston are at the bottom of the stairs and Tom can't possibly go down them.

Frankly I think it's because he's already been down there one too many times.

#live reading #house of leaves #maeve's house of leaves readalong #footnotes #1 - p. 247 - 252 #2 - p. 248 footnote #3 - p. 250 right-hand column #4 - Ibid. #5 - p. 255-256 #6 - p. 262 #7 - p. 265